I believe the greatest need in the Christian family is a husband and a father that will lead. I know some ladies that are pretty good leaders, but the reason they're good leaders, they don't have one. And every woman wants a leader. She wants one. And you and I can be that leader. God can help us to be that leader. And so I hope that you'll let the Lord speak your heart. I've got a lot of things I'd like to say, but I've just got about 35 minutes, preacher said. And when I'm in somebody else's pulpit, I obey what the pastor says, all right? My wife and I have been married just a little over 44 years. And we have three children. We have two boys and a normal child. And some of you will get that later. I can tell that went right over your head. And then if my wife were talking about them, she would tell you we have nine cute kids. That's our grandchildren. And our oldest one is 12. Our baby is, let's see, June, July. He's almost four months old. He'll be four months old. this next week. And so my wife, when our grandchildren start being born, she called our oldest one cute kid number one, so she numbers them. So if the cute kids are taking a picture, they get in chronological birth order, because that's just their number one, number two, except for number nine, he doesn't know yet, but he'll learn. And our oldest one's a granddaughter, our second one, is a grandson and so it blows his mind if he doesn't have to get in. Every once in a while Nana will say, you don't have to get in cute kid order. That just rocks his whole world because he's a perfectionist by nature and he wants to get in cute kid order. He just cannot take it that they're not lined up like he thinks they ought to be lined up. But we love our children, we love our grandchildren. Both of our sons serve on our pastoral staff, and our daughter is married to an administrative pastor about an hour from us. And the wonderful thing about being in ministry a long time is, I won my daughter and son-in-law and three of my grandchildren, I won their pastor of the Lord when he was 10 years old. And now he's 50. He's celebrating 30 years at the church he's at here in just a few days. And so it's just amazing. When Sharon and I came to Raleigh, we're not North Carolinian by birth. My dad's in heaven, but if my dad were here, you'd ask him where he is from, he'd tell you LA. And he would allow you to assume Los Angeles, unless you ask him different. And then he would tell you lower Alabama. That's right, roll tide. Come on now. And so, but you know, I came to Raleigh 1981, joined the staff at Beacon Baptist Church, really just planned to stay a couple of years. I started preaching, I was 15 years old, pastored, now that sounds important, but I was the interim pastor of a church my senior year of high school. I guarantee if you could go back and find those sermons on Reel to Reel, they'd be a blessing. I don't know how in the world I've preached three times a week. Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night. I was a full-time high school student. I worked a part-time job at a sporting goods store about 20 hours a week and prepared three sermons in a week. I know they're homiletical jewels. I know that probably one day my grandchildren are going to find them and they're probably going to be worth millions of dollars. But anyway, so when I came to Raleigh, I told Preacher, my pastor for 16 years is still living. We just celebrated Sunday his 91st birthday. He preached Sunday morning and he preaches every year Sunday near his birthday and preaches for me at other times as well. But he's 91 and I was on his staff 16 years so he'll tell you that he was my pastor 16 years and I've been his pastor 26 years. So we never even imagined that 42 years later, Sharon and I would still be in Raleigh. But I tell folks, I reckon we've been in North Carolina now enough that tar sticks on our heels. And so that doesn't mean I'm a UNC fan, okay? So none of you, I'm not a Duke fan either, okay? My oldest son's a Carolina fan, my next one's a Duke fan, and my daughter's a Duke fan. I'm still Alabama roll tide, top to bottom, all right? But anyway. I want you to go with me. Move on. You hear him? Preacher said, move on. Time out. Alright, no. Alright. Go over to Matthew 7. That's not really where we're going to spend our time. I'm going to spend some time there with you in a few minutes. But I want you to at least see this, okay? I've called these two lessons tonight. I've titled them under that main title of Marriage, a Work in Progress. And that's what our marriage is tonight. Our marriage is a work in progress. I'm getting out my filled in notes. I make sure I give you what goes in those blanks, because I'm a perfectionist by nature, and I couldn't stand the fact that you would go home with one blank on your sheet, all right? So, but you're Matthew 7. I want you just to quickly notice with me, and I'll come back and spend a little more time in the next session about this. Verse 24, Jesus, of course, is ending the Sermon on the Mount, and he says there in verse 24, therefore, whosoever heareth these sayings of mine and doeth them, I'll liken him to a wise man, build his house upon a rock, And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house. And it fell not, for it was founded upon a rock. And everyone that heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man, who built his house upon the sand. And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house. And it fell, and great was the fall of it. Now what is the difference between the wise man and the foolish man? Foundation is, but look what Jesus said. I want you to see this. He says, I'll liken him unto a man that heareth, verse 24, and doeth, verse 26, that heareth and doeth him not. You know the difference tonight in having a good home? It's not what we know. Probably I'm not going to say anything tonight you haven't heard or you hadn't said, some of you are preachers. You know what the difference is? The difference is the doing. It's the doing. Both houses endured the same storms. Houses on rock experienced the same storms as houses on the sand. What's the difference? It's not what you know, it's what you do. What did James say? James said, don't want to be hearers only. And that's really my prayer tonight. My prayer tonight is not that I'm going to say something that's just going to wow you and you walk out of here and think, whew, I never thought about that before. No. My prayer tonight, as a result of us being together, we'll walk out of here, you and me, determined to do. Yes, sir. Amen. Determined to do. Okay? So, I want to talk to us in beginning about God's divine design. So, go with me all the way to the book of Genesis, would you please? Genesis chapter 1. Preacher, I'll tell you what. Okay. Okay. Yeah, but I told Sharon Okay, all right, good. She's more long-winded than I am, anyway. If you repeat that, I'll deny it, okay? You're in Genesis chapter 1. Here you go. Here's what it tells us in verse 26. It says, And God said, Let us make man in our image after our likeness. Let him have dominion over fish of the sea, over fowl of the air, over the cattle, over all the earth, over everything that creepeth upon the earth. So God created man in his own image. In the image of God created he him. What does it mean to be in the image of God? I don't know that I can fully explain it maybe to your satisfaction, but it means that he gave us some of the qualities he has. We call them in the theological circles non-communicable attributes. He gave us the ability to be relational, intellectual, volitional, emotional. He didn't give us the ability to be omnipresent or omnipotent or omniscient. But this is how He created them. How did He create them? Look at it, the latter part, verse 27. Male and female. You know, I'm 64 years of age. That's not old, I know to some of you, but some of you, that's ancient of days, okay? If you'd have told me when I went to Raleigh in 1981 on staff, that there'd be a day in my lifetime where we would be discussing, debating, disputing that there are more than two genders? I'd have said, are you crazy? Have you lost your mind? But you and I live in that day. I read an article the other day, somebody's now devised 78 genders. Well, I'm glad I ain't got to figure out which one I am. You know, I'm a male. That's all I know. God made them male and female. God made them different on purpose. So here's statement number one. One of the great misunderstandings of the 21st century is that men and women are essentially the same. Can I tell you there's nothing further from the truth? I know it physiologically, we all understand that, but my dad was a firefighter. He's retired several years before he went to heaven, but I still remember when they were discussing a lady becoming a firefighter at the Dothan Fire Department in Dothan, Alabama. And, you know, of course, the big row was because my dad was a full-time fireman, so he worked 24 hours all 48. So the big row was about what were they going to do in the sleeping quarters and all those kind of things. But I'll never forget when they finally decided they'd let one interview and go through the examination. My dad came home. I remember him being so mad. He said, you won't believe what they're doing for that woman. I said, what are they doing, daddy? I don't remember really how old I was, probably about 12. He said, she ain't got to carry a hundred-pound sack up a ladder for the physical part. She just carries 50 pounds. Well, listen, if she's the same, she ought to carry a hundred pounds. I mean, that just seems logical to me. I think everybody understands they're not the same. God made us different. As a matter of fact, God made us a different way. He made you and me from dirt. He made her from better stuff. Of course, he made us first, you know why, don't you? He didn't want to advise on how to make us. All right, but anyway, some of this stuff, don't repeat out of here, okay? If it goes outside this circle, it's your fault, okay? So the Bible says, number two, the Bible tells us men and women are different. They are, they are not the same, they're different. So go with me to 1 Peter, 1 Peter chapter three. 1 Peter chapter three. First Peter chapter 3. Here's the instruction Peter gives to you and I. Verse number 7. Likewise, ye husbands dwell. That word dwell means to remain, abide. Dwell with them according to knowledge. The Greek word there is the word gnosos. It's talking about a personal knowledge. dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor, that word honor is an interesting word, it means value or worth unto the wife as unto the weaker vessels, being heirs together to the grace of life, that your prayers be not hindered. Isn't that interesting? I won't have time to explore it, but it's interesting that God connects the physical and the spiritual. You know, God made us a threefold being, right? What are those threefold? You know what? I've asked that question hundreds of times it seems like. I've only had it answered one time correctly. It's not body, soul, and spirit in the scriptures. It's spirit, soul, body. But you know why we say body, soul, spirit? I'm not picking on you because your voice was loud. Okay. You know why we say body, soul, spirit? Because we think the physical is what's most important. That's not the way God looks at it. Now, I know my wife and I were both raised in Alabama, but before we were husband and wife, we were brother and sister. You say, well, you must be from West Virginia. No, no. In the Lord, we were spiritually compatible. So let's talk about this divine design of God, because marriage is a work in progress. So number one, let's talk about the differences. Number, statement number one, there are physical differences. There's no doubt about it. Let me take you way beyond just a physiological part of that. Seven weeks after conception, a male baby has his brain bombarded with almost 10 times more of the chemical testosterone than the female baby ever gets during the womb experience. On the eighth week, the female gets a heavy dose of estrogen and progesterone. And as a result, men are aggressive. Women are nurturing. That's the reason our sons wrestle and our daughters play with dolls. God programmed them that way. That's the reason when you and I have a conversation, we talk about how big, how far, how fast. When our wives have a conversation, they talk about their emotions and how it feels. You ever heard your wife on the phone and you just knew when she got off the phone, she was going to tell you somebody had died? Because she was going, oh, that's so, oh, that's, oh, I can't believe it. This is so sad. You know, she goes off on it. Who died? Died? No, our cat. I mean, her cake fell flat. She can go to the bakery and get another cake. I mean, good, no, you don't even worry about that. No need to spend all that emotional energy over that, you know? Here's what happens 16 weeks after conception. A male baby's brain is doused with a biochemical bath that separates the right and the left sides of the brain so that they don't communicate with each other. Some of you will remember this name, Rush Limbaugh. You remember Limbaugh used to say, with half a brain tied behind my back? Well, every man talks with half a brain tied behind his back. Our logical and our emotional sides don't make connections. We have to either think out of the right side or the left side. Our wives think out of both sides at the same time. So there are physical differences. Number two, there are mental differences. I hope you didn't think of anything bad right there, okay? Number one, men tend to think more logically while women tend to think intuitively. Men tend to think more logically, not women illogically. They think intuitively. If you were to come up to me and were to say to me, Brother Ray, but I don't think you can trust Brother Raines. And I say to you, why don't you think you can trust Brother Raines? You say, I saw him take a penny that wasn't his. You have a logical reason. Now, my wife might come up to me and say, Tim, I don't think you can trust brother Doug. I say, why? Well, I just feel it. I said, yeah, but like why? I don't know, I just feel it. Now you may not even believe in intuition. Many years ago we had a couples retreat and we had an older man and I was young then. We had an older man speaking and so we decided to let him speak to the couples who were grandparents and I spoke to all the couples who were parents in a split session and so we came back together in the last general session and he was making fun of women's intuition and I had talked about intuition and so he was very sharp. He was very sharp. All of a sudden he realized it and he looked at me and he said, I may believe in intuition. Do I believe in intuition? I said, well, I just talked about it in the last session. He said, I said it. He said, pastor's right. I'm wrong. He said, intuition is a strong thing. And, uh, but, but I really do. I'm, you know, my wife intuition has been correct. I would, I would dare say 95% of the time. I remember her telling me about a woman in our church, this is, well our baby is 34, so she's less than two because she flew free. My father-in-law was going to have open heart surgery, and so we flew my wife and our daughter home to be with her dad. I kept the older boys, the oldest one was in school already, and so I kept them. And my wife had told me about a lady in our church. She said, I want you to be careful around her. I said, huh? What do you mean? She's drawn to your spiritual leadership. I can see it. I said, man, she's married. We're happily married. I suppose they're happy. She said, you be careful. My wife left on a Monday morning. And in those days, our preacher, my preacher, Preacher Cox, his wife was our receptionist. She called me out to the main office area and said, Brother Tim, I've got something out here for you. And that lady that my wife had told me to be careful about had brought me a big pot of soup knowing that Sharon, you know, of course they mentioned on Sunday, pray for Mr. Ammons having a hope and honor surgery on Monday. And so I had a note with it. She gave me this big, Mrs. Cox gave me this big pile of sushi. I said, now what do I do with this now? I said, heat this, what I do, I'm not a cook, okay? And I heat this, what I do with it, and she gave me a little advice, and I took it in the office, and it had a note with it. When I opened up the note, the first two words on that note were, sweet as Tim, scared me to death, scared me to death. Now we didn't have, I know some of you younger guys can't believe this, but we didn't have cell phones. Matter of fact, we couldn't even make free long distance calls. I know that's hard to believe. We'd call collect just so somebody else could pay for it. But you know, anyway, soon as I knew my wife was on the ground and at the hospital in Dothan, Alabama, man, I called her and I read her every note of that card. I said, I just want you to know you was right. I was dumb. Thank you for being a good wife. So we think logically, they think intuitively. Men's minds, and we're going to move on. Men's minds are like laser, while a woman's mind like radar. She knows everything's happening within 100 miles of her. And I'm going. You know, you heard about the guy come in. His wife had been shopping for a little bit on a Saturday afternoon. It was college football season time. She came in. She said, what in the world's going on? He said, oh, he said, we're losing 10 to 7. She said, no, how'd all this Kool-Aid get spread all over the floor? And how'd the dog get loose in the house? And why? He said, wow, look at that. He said, I don't know how that happened. Oh, you know? He's interested in that game. He came up with the score. He could tell her what the stats were for the first half. You know what I'm saying? He knew. Because that's the way God made us. There are mental differences. Number three, there are emotional differences. Emotional differences. Number one, men base their feelings of worth on their ability to achieve results. Men base their feelings of worth on their ability to achieve results. Women's feelings of worth are based on relationships. You and I, if we, I don't know, maybe you hunt, maybe you fish, maybe you do something else, I don't know. And we went on a trip. You know what? We wouldn't come back talking about who we saw and how it felt. We'd say, you know what? We made it there in four hours and 12 minutes. Google Maps said it was going to take us four hours and 22 minutes. Ha ha. We got 22.3 miles to the gallon. We saw 12 bugs and killed six of them. It'd all be about results. Where our wives make it, it's the same kind of trip. Oh, you won't believe who we saw. You won't believe what good time we had. How much it cost. Number two, men need to solve problems alone, while women need to solve problems together. Men want to solve it alone. I may ask you to help me after several years. Or if you told me you had a problem, I'd encourage you a little bit. You'll get it fixed. That's what we do. They do everything together. Number three there. Under pressure, men tend to withdraw while women tend to talk. Men tend to withdraw. The only reason we talk is because we want to blame somebody else. We just, you know, I've got to figure this thing out somehow. There's got to be an answer. Your wife, she's got a problem. She wants, well, I want to get ahead of myself. She wants your input. So there are differences. Number two, there are difficulties. Out of these differences flow two difficulties. Number one, we have different expectations. We have different expectations. Let me give you three of them. Women expect sympathy while men expect solutions. Now let me tell you what we all do. I do this, and I didn't say this when I started, but when I'm preaching, I tell the folks at Beacon, I point one finger at you, I point three back at me, okay? So I'm not here, Brother Raines didn't ask me to come because he thought I was an expert, okay? I'm just like you are. I've only had 44 years of marriage experience, okay? So I'm still learning, all right? So I am very prone to give a solution when my wife only wants sympathy. I remember one day, back before our newest building was built, my office was located down inside our building, maybe 100 feet, and Sharon's office was up another hallway, and we met, we were walking out to the car, Our car was parked 25 feet, maybe 30 feet from the door. I opened the door. While we're walking, she's explained to me a problem that a lady in our church has with her husband. And so I've listened probably, you know, 45 seconds to a minute, you know, and really have heard all I needed to hear, and I've already got it figured out. So as I opened the door, I tell her, I said, well, this is what they need to do. She looked right up at me. And she said, I didn't tell you for you to solve it. I told you for you to know about it. And don't tell me what they need to do. Yes, ma'am. Why? Because that's why she was talking to me about a problem that she really didn't even think that probably she or either one could fix unless both of them come together to us. So they want sympathy. Number two, women want reassurance And men offer resolution. Women want reassurance. And men offer resolution. You know, your wife, you hear her say something like this, well, you should have married someone who could. The worst thing you could say is, yeah, I missed that. You know? No, she wants you to say, no, I married you, and you're the best thing ever happened to me. And listen, outside of Jesus, sharing Denise Ammons is the best thing ever happened to me. They want reassurance. Number three, women expect to improve men while men expect to fix women. I don't know how many wives have thought their husband was a project. And how many men think, I'm gonna fix that you're not gonna fix it I tell I tell people when I'm in premarital counseling where's that pre where's that couples about get married which one okay I do premarital counseling I tell I tell the couples. This statement I heard in Bible college. Now when I heard it I thought it was the stupidest statement ever been made by any one human being alive. Okay? But this guy came in chapel and he's preaching on marriage. So that automatically made some of us stay awake. And then he stops and in the middle of his sermon he says, he said, on the marriage night six people crawl into the marriage bed. Well man we all woke up then. He said him, his mom, his dad, her, her mom, and her dad. And when he said it, Brother Raines, I thought, poor fella. He don't know nothing. Can I tell you after 44 years of marriage, smartest guy I've ever heard. Because listen to me, what is ingrained in a person is not probably going to be, it's like when Sharon and I first got married. I just took for granted that everybody squeezes a toothpaste tube from the bottom. I had no idea that people would grab a toothpaste tube in the middle. Just read the Bible. So I tried for a few months. I did. And I realized this ain't working, so I'll just buy two tubes of AIM toothpaste. You have yours, I have mine. Now, I did went on the toilet paper. Everybody knows toilet paper rolls off the top, not the bottom. And she finally gave in and consented and repented in dust and sackcloth, okay? So ashes and sackcloth, okay? So we have different expectations. Number two, we have different expressions. Women express feelings while men express facts. Women express feelings. Here's a classic statement a wife makes, we never talk. and you know what you're thinking. I hope you don't say it. You're thinking, we're talking right now. What do you mean we never talk? That's what we're doing. Don't say it. That's right. Don't say it. Why? Because she's expressing her feelings. She isn't expressing a fact. All right. So here's where I really want to get to. So I'm going to have to go quick though. Directions. Because of these different Differences and difficulties, how do you deal with it, okay? So number one, number one, listen to your wife with empathy. You do not need to listen to your wife with your ears only. You need to listen with your heart. What is behind what she is saying? You say, Pastor Raymond, can you figure that out? No, but I've been trying to. I work on it. I want to listen to her heart, not just the words she's saying. And that's hard for us. Most of us in this room If you're still daily working all day long, you may deal with difficulties, problems, you may have decisions that have to be made, they may be small decisions, big decisions, and you come home and it's hard to change over from that mode to husband mode. And you gotta learn how to listen with empathy. What is she really saying? Here's a good question. Why is she saying what she's saying? You know, I learned a long time ago, there is truth behind everything that's spoken to me, even a lie. Now, some of you have to think on that a while. But there's a little truth behind it. Or it wouldn't even be sold to you. So, listen with empathy. Number two, do many small things for her instead of a few big things. do many small things for her instead of a few big things. Because of our differences and because of the difficulties, we think if I did this one big thing right here, that'll last 18 months. I mean, I spent $722 buying this one thing here. She really wanted it. So, I mean, I'm off the hook for a long time. That's birthday, anniversary, Christmas, Valentine's Day, and it goes to the next year's birthday, you know? When all she wants is just a little bit of attention. Years ago before our children left our home and I'd travel, preach, if I was less than four or five hours from home when I finished up a meeting, I'd drive home. And while I was gone, I'd always buy my wife and my children, we have three, I'd buy them something. It's very small, wasn't big or important. It's just something to say, I was thinking about you while I was gone. So I used to buy it, because you're in North Carolina, you understand this, other states don't, but I used to buy it from Belk for Sharon, because back in those days, Belk had free gift wrapping. And so I can't wrap gifts. And so I bought Sharon something on this trip, and I got home about two o'clock in the morning, and she woke up. She didn't always usually get up, but she woke up that morning. Came to the door and and so I had my stuff in my hands and I brought the gifts in I said well Ben you're up go ahead and open your gift and so she opens it and I don't know what I bought her blouse a skirt a dress I don't really know what it was and But while while the woman was wrapping it at Belk, you know They used to have those little embossed cards that laid right there on top of the gift wrapping counter and so I just picked up that little card and I wrote her some little sweet note about how I missed her and how much I loved her and what she meant to me. And so after she opens the gift and everything, she says, oh, that's so sweet. I said, well, I'm glad you like it. I thought it was your color. You're a winter. She said, oh, I'm not talking about that. This card, that's so sweet. I thought I could have got that card for free. And in the day and hour you and I live in, there's no reason you can't communicate with your wife regularly. Text her, email her, whatever. Do many small things instead of a few big things. Number three, here's one that's hard, hard, hard, hard, hard for some of us. Ask her counsel. Ask her counsel. Remember that intuition? She'll often be right. You know why I believe that husbands think their wives nag them? Because the husbands never ask them for any input. If your wife was asked regularly what she thought about certain situations in your life, your family, your ministry, you wouldn't consider her a nag. But the problem is you don't ever ask her. You're the man. You know what? I am the pastor of Beacon Baptist Church. You could ask anybody on our staff, anybody in our congregation, who's the pastor? Tim Braben's the pastor. I got seven pastoral staff members. But you know what I do? On purpose, I ask their input. Now, all of them and all of our deacons, get accused of being yes men. If you could be in my staff meeting, in my deacons meeting, you'd know the last thing about half of them or more are not yes men. But you know what they are? They're men of integrity. So once we discuss it and I make the decision, we walk out of there in unison. Well, you ought to ask your wife's counsel. Number four, appreciate her motive when you cannot appreciate her message. Your wife ever said something to you and it just made you hot, fiery mad? Here's one. Some of you don't even understand this. And if you're skinny, don't come talk to me tonight about how to lose weight, okay? I'm not interested in hearing from a skinny man, okay? But my wife will often say to me, oh, you sure? She calls them five pounds of sugar. You need to lose three bags of sugar. And then inside me, I'm thinking, I'm doing all I can right now. I haven't ate a dessert in 20 hours, or two weeks, or whatever it is. But you know what? You know what her motive is? Her motive is she wants me to live as long as I can live. She's not picking on me because I'm fat like folks did when I was in school. You know? I was in junior high school. I was four foot tall, four foot wide. They used me to close the lockers in the hallway. Because when I went down the hallway, they had to close, OK? She ain't making fun of me. She loves me. Appreciate her motive when you can't appreciate or maybe even agree with her message. Number five, offer support before solutions. offer support before solutions. I promise you, your conversation, that's what I'm going to spend the next hour on, will go a lot further, mine too, if we just give some support rather than saying, well here's how to fix it. I'll tell you what a mother who's been home all day with three children doesn't need. She doesn't need some expert to come in and tell her how she could have made them children obeyed and done better. She don't need that. She needs somebody to come in and say, man, I know it's rough. I appreciate what you do. You'll never know. I promise you I couldn't do it. I just couldn't do it. My solution to some children is wet their lips and stick them to a window. But listen to me. You just need to offer support. And then number six here, and I'm through. Accept her as she is. Do not try to adjust her to what you wish she was. Accept her as she is. Do not try to adjust her to what you wish she was. Listen to me, if the Holy Spirit can't transform her, you ain't got a chance. Ah, I'm a man. No, you're not. You know, when I married my wife, I won't tell you our whole story. We met in line at teen camp. We got married. I had been 20 for two weeks. We got married. She turned 18 two weeks later. I was between my sophomore and junior year in college. We moved from Alabama to Nashville, Tennessee, 400 miles away from our family. She was a 18-year-old young lady. And if you would have told me If you'd have told me what God would have done with her life, I would have sat there with my jaw dropping. I've told our staff, our deacons, I've told my kids, if I'm ever in desperate need of a touch from heaven, I said, you call my wife, call your mom. That's who I want praying for me. I don't mind the rest of you guys joining in, but I want her praying. And she's become a great mother, great nana, wonderful pastor's wife, a speaker. Your wives are hearing her right now. And she thoroughly enjoys it. She's written a couple of books. Just has thoroughly been amazing what God's done in her life. We, both of us, both of us raised in a little church about 30, 40 people on a good day. And when we came to Beacon in 1981, it was running about 300. We thought the whole world had come to church. I figured everybody in Wake County was there. And God's been so good. I'm glad that I didn't try to make her into what I thought she ought to be. But I've watched God slowly and surely use her, transform her, help her. And I've just been glad to be along for the ride. See, God had a divine design when He made your wife. God had a divine design when He made my wife. God made us. We're not the same. We're not the same. But you know what? We are compatible because God made us both in His image. And the same Holy Spirit that lives in me lives in her. I ain't got a corner on the Holy Spirit. He's as much alive in her as He is in me. That's the reason we don't have time to go back there, but 1 Peter 3, 7, dwell with them according to knowledge, that your prayers be not hindered. Because your heirs together the grace of life. It's been a wonderful journey. If something were to happen to me or Sharon tonight, it's been a wonderful journey. I rejoice, seating glad. And I'm not the expert, I told you that. But I sure want to be the husband she needs me to be. Let's bow our heads for prayer, would you please? I don't know what God may have spoken to you about in these moments, but I believe He has. And as He has spoken to you, I believe that you and I ought to say, you know what? That's something I heard, and that's something I'm going to do. I'm going to do. Whatever it is, won't you just say to the Lord right now, Lord, that's something I'm going to do. I'm going to start offering sympathy instead of solutions. I'm going to start doing little things instead of just saving up for big things. I'm going to start asking for her counsel. I'm going to accept her like she is. You made her. Father, I pray you'd help all of us. We're just men. We're thankful we're your men. And as your men, we have you and your spirit living in us. We have your word to guide us. We're thankful for our wives. We're thankful that you gave to us a help meet for us. May we together do all that you'd want us to do, be all you'd want us to be. In Jesus' name, amen.