Exodus chapter 20 and Ephesians chapter 6. Exodus chapter 20, verse 12. Honor thy father and thy mother, that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee. And then Ephesians chapter six, verses one through three. Children, obey your parents and the Lord, for this is right. Honor thy father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise, that it may be well with thee and thou mayest live long on the earth. How do I honor my parents biblically when they do not live a God-honoring life? This is a question that has been submitted to the question box that I want to answer in our time this evening. How do I honor my parents biblically when they do not live a God-honoring life? Well, let me begin by stating that because this question was submitted namelessly, without me knowing the specific circumstances in the life of the one who wrote this, I need to be very careful not to assume various things to be true when they may not be. In my immediate examination of this question, I am wondering if this question is being asked by a child still living in the home or a grown adult who is living outside of the home, outside of their parents' authority. I am also wondering what this person specifically means by, quote, God honoring life. Does not living a God-honoring life mean that they are lost and without Christ? Does not living a God-honoring life mean that they know the Lord and they live a blatant hypocrite at home? Or does not living a God-honoring life mean that they are simply a sinful human being who struggles from time to time? You see how important it is to be wise in the assessment of this question. I'm assuming in the receiving of this question that this question is being asked in sincerity and in truth from a humble spirit rather than someone asking it in a pharisaical, self-righteous way with a desire to accuse their parents of things that they may not be guilty of. In my years as a pastor, I have been confronted with both situations. I have had people approach me in true humility, really wanting to know how to honor their unbelieving parents in a Christ-like way. And I've had people approach me with a false humility, who sound spiritual in asking such a question, who are really not interested in honoring their parents. They just want to look for a subtle way to tell me that they are doing everything right, while their parents are doing everything wrong. So that being said, I wish I had more background information about this question. I wish I had more background information about the one asking this question and the spiritual condition as well as the practice of the parents. But since I don't, I will have to do my best to answer this question from every perspective. So let me begin by answering the question from the perspective of children still living in the home under their parents' authority. Let's assume that a child or teenager under the age of 18, or 21 for that matter, is still living at home and they have submitted this question to the question box. They want to know how they can honor their parents biblically when their parents do not live a God-honoring life. Here's my answer. First, God commands you to honor your parents whether or not they are living a God-honoring life and whether you think they deserve honor or not. And then second, You honor them, that is your parents, by respecting their God-given authority, obeying their commands, loving them to the best of your ability, forgiving them when they fail, praying for their spiritual well-being, recognizing that God has sovereignly placed you in such a condition for your spiritual good. That's my answer. How do I honor my parents biblically when they don't live a God-honoring life? By first recognizing that honoring our parents is a God-given command, not a nice religious recommendation. Now let's dive in this truth for a moment, shall we? I know this may sound straightforward, but it is something that I feel that is necessary to nail to the forefront of your minds. The fifth command of the law is not a proposal, it is a precept. The command to honor your father and your mother is not an option to be considered, it is a command that is to be obeyed. The law does not say honor your father and mother if you feel like it. The law does not say honor your father and mother only if they are Christian. The law does not say honor your father and mother if they achieve some self-invented man-made standard. The law says honor thy father and thy mother. So to honor them is to obey God. To dishonor them is to disobey God. And for those who want to fuss that such a command is Old Testament law, when we are New Testament Christians, we have Paul in Ephesians 6, reaching back to the Old Testament law and commanding New Testament Christians to obey their parents in the Lord for it is right. Paul quotes the fifth command by declaring that God's law still stands. Children are expected to honor their father and their mother, which is the first commandment with promise, that it may be well with them and that they may live long on the earth. Likewise, here in Ephesians 6, there are no conditions to the command. Paul does not say you are only expected to honor them if they are followers of Christ. You are to honor them if they are perfect Christians living an admirable life. The text says simply honor thy father and thy mother. Now you will notice in Ephesians 6 verse one that Paul says children are expected to obey their parents in the Lord. Someone to take this and say, see, see, see, I'm only commanded to obey my parents if they are in the Lord, if they are true Christians, if they are doing that which is well-pleasing in His sight. That's not the command being given by Paul. When Paul says it is required of children to obey their parents, quote, in the Lord, he means that children are to obey their parents as unto the Lord. They are to obey their parents because it is a command given by the Lord. They are to submit to the authority of their parents because God has placed such an earthly authority in the life of that child. And I also believe that this phrase, in the Lord, means that Paul is wanting us to understand that children are expected to obey their parents as far as their parents' commands are according to the will of God. So there's a safety net here for children who are living among ungodly, unreasonable, abusive, dictatorial parents. No child is called to obey any parent if that parent is commanding them to do something that is illegal, immoral, or unethical and goes against the clear commands of Scripture. For instance, If dad or mom tell their child to lie, and that child knows that to lie is to sin against God, the child has a right to obey God over man. If dad or mom tells their child to steal, and that child knows that stealing is disobedience against God's word, that child has a right to obey God over man. I can go on and on giving you example, but I think you understand the principle. I don't need to belabor this. Children are commanded to honor their father and mother as it is fitting in the Lord. Children are expected to obey their parents in the Lord because God says it is right. And children do this by respecting their God-given authority, obeying their commands, loving them to the best of their ability, forgiving them when they fail, praying for their spiritual well-being, recognizing that God has sovereignly placed them in such a condition for their spiritual good. And I think the book of 1 Peter is one of the most practical books that expounds upon the need to honor those who are in authority over us who do not live a God-honoring life. In 1 Peter, Peter talks about the need of Christian citizens to obey non-Christian governmental leaders. In 1 Peter, Peter likewise mentions Christian servants obeying their non-Christian masters. And then 1 Peter 3, Peter talks about Christian wives submitting to their non-Christian husbands. In chapters two and three of 1 Peter, Peter is commanding Christians in every sphere of life to respect, obey, love, forgive, and submit to those who are in authority over them as unto the Lord in a Christ-like way, recognizing that God has ordained such hard circumstances for the believer's spiritual good. I don't have time to read and expound upon all those texts, but I would challenge you to study it out sometime. In 1 Peter 2-3, there are many truths that answer the question that has been asked. There's nothing new under the sun. The truths that have been expounded thousands of years ago to Christians are the truths that we meet with today. God through Peter says, by submitting to such authorities, by doing all that we can to live a godly life before such authorities, and recognizing that God wants to use instances of injustices, suffering, frustration, heartache, and agony, help us grow in conformity to Jesus Christ. And it's absolutely vital that we understand this last point as it relates to the circumstances of our life. Whatever situation we are in, God is trying to teach us biblical truth. Whatever situation we are in, we must learn to look at that situation from a sovereign perspective, a long-term perspective, and a learning perspective. For instance, if you live in a home where one or both of your parents are unbelievers, one or both of your parents say they are Christians but don't act like it, and your home is full. of blatant hypocrisy, worldliness, disregard towards God's word, foul language, unholy music, unholy movies, constant fighting, times of drunkenness, and parents who spend more time on their video games and their screens than they do parenting their children, you must understand that God is trying to teach you in the midst of that sinful mess. You say, what can God be teaching me in the midst of such a sinful mess? He's trying to teach you that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. There is none good, no not one. He's trying to teach you that others will fail you, but God the Father never will. Your parents are imperfect, but Jesus is perfect. If you are in a home where your parents are sinfully flawed, and you know the Lord, you must come to recognize that God has placed you in a gospel position to love the unlovable, to forgive those who don't deserve to be forgiven, to pray for those who sometimes mistreat you, so that you might better understand how God, through Jesus Christ, relates to you in your sin. You see, this is the essence of Ephesians 4, 31 and 32. Paul says, let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and evil speaking be put away from you with all malice. and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake has forgiven you. Apply it personally. You are full of sin. You fail the Lord. You don't do right to others. You are like your parents. You have a heart that is bent towards sin, and Jesus Christ and His grace has been kind to you. So you, if you know the Lord, are to be Christ-like in showing kindness to others, namely your parents. That's your mission, Phil. Listen, children, if you want to rise above the hurtful occasions of this life, you have to view things from a God-centered perspective. You have to ask yourself the question, what is God trying to teach me through the errors of my parents? Maybe you would say, God helping me when I grow up? I don't wanna act like that. I am going to fight against doing what they do. God helping me, I'm not going to allow this in my home. I'm not going to expose this to my children because it's not helpful to the well-being of our home. Likewise, children, listen, if you are in a home where one or both parents are not living a God-honoring life, and you know the Lord, God has sovereignly arranged such an occasion to prepare you for things that you will meet with throughout the course of your entire life. Because it's only a matter of time where you are going to be under godless leaders at school. godless leaders in the workplace and godless leaders in government. So practically speaking, if you are in such a home where your parents are not living an honorable life, the home is to be viewed as a learning experience for what you will meet with among the world. The world is full of hypocrisy, unfairness, injustice, unkindness, oppression, disappointment, because the world is full of people who don't live God-honoring lives. So getting back to the question, how should we respond to ungodly authority in our life, specifically parents who do not honor the Lord? Answer? by humbly respecting the authority of those over us, by faithfully obeying the commands of the authority over us, so long as they do not go against biblical commands, sacrificially loving those who are unlovable, wholeheartedly forgiving those who wrong us, sincerely praying for those who are spiritually blind, and recognizing that God has a divine purpose behind it all. The biblical examples of responding such a way are everywhere in the scripture. Think of Joseph in Egypt under Pharaoh. Treated kindly, yet served the Lord. Think of the Hebrew midwives respecting their authority to the best of their ability as they were commanded to kill the male children. Think of Daniel, commanded not to pray. Think of Peter and John, commanded not to preach in the name of Jesus. Think of Esther. Think of Stephen praying for his enemies as he is being stoned. And then think of Jesus hanging on the cross, submitting himself to the Father after being misrepresented, mistreated, and falsely accused of things he was not guilty of. In every instance, as others faithfully did what God wanted them to do, God used that which seemed to be bad, God used that which was hard to go through for good. And this is the truth of Romans 8, 28. And we know that all things work together for good. To them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. This is our comfort. This is our hope. This is what gives us spiritual strength to live for Christ in the midst of a sinful mess. Though men mean things for evil, God someway, somehow can work it for good. Now before I move on to the second point, let me, lovingly yet firmly say something that I think needs to be said. If you think, children, you are in an abusive and unsafe environment, you may need to seek outside help. If your parents hit you, sexually abuse you, or threaten your life You need to tell someone. I'm being serious. Now to be clear, I'm not talking about make-believe abuse. I'm not talking about your parents sometimes getting angry and raising their voice. I'm not talking about your parents not letting you eat candy for breakfast, or parents disciplining you in a biblical way. I'm talking about real mistreatment, real violence, real abuse. If you are living in a home where you feel constantly unsafe because of drug addiction or alcohol abuse, listen to me. You need to seek help from a pastor, from an elder in a church, from another adult you trust, or perhaps from the police. In the receiving of this question, I do not want to foolishly overlook the fact that someone through this question may be crying for help. Someone may be in an abusive situation and needs real practical help. I don't mean to change the tone of this sermon, but it needs to be said. It needs to be said for the practical help of children, and it needs to be said for parents to be confronted with the fear of God. That pastors would be brave enough to tell their children, with their parents in the congregation, if your parents are doing wrong, you need to tell someone. How do I honor my parents biblically when they do not live a God-honoring life? Simple answer. By respecting their God-given authority, obeying their commands, loving them to the best of your ability, forgiving them when they fail, praying for their spiritual well-being, recognizing that God has sovereignly placed you in such a condition for your spiritual good. And practically speaking, really practically speaking, this means children listening to your parents when they talk. This means doing the household chores they expect you to do. This means showing appreciation and expressing thanks for all that they do. This means loving your siblings to the best of your ability, and this means that you do not talk back to them when they command you. That's what it looks like to honor your parents. Now answering the question from the perspective of a grown adult, who is outside of the home, who is no longer under their parents' authority, let me simply say that the principles of honoring your parents are practically the same. If you are 30 years old, 40 years old, 50 years old, 60 years old, and your parents are still alive, and they do not live a God-honoring life, you are still expected to honor them as your parents. Even in adulthood, we must strive to honor our parents. Now, while the command to obey our parents may change over time, the principle of honoring our parents remains the same. And we find this in scripture. I think of Jacob honoring Laban, who would become his father-in-law. I think of Joseph honoring his father, Jacob. I think of Moses listening to his father-in-law when his father-in-law had advice for him. And God teaching us throughout scripture that it is vital that we honor those who are more mature in age. It is vital that we honor the, as the King James says it, the hoary head, the gray headed. How do we honor our parents biblically when they do not live a God-honoring life? If we are not under their authority, if they have hurt us in the past, or if they contentiously differ from us spiritually, politically, and ethically, we strive to love them. respect them, forgive them, pray for them, recognizing that God has sovereignly placed you in such a situation for your spiritual good. You see, the same sovereign sanctification element relates to our adult years with our adult parents. God has arranged the circumstances of our life for us to grow in the grace and knowledge of Christ. So the holidays come around. And you and your parents don't see eye to eye on anything in life. You've been there? What do you do? You love them as best as you can. And you strive to be at peace as much as is possible is. Well, what if they want nothing to do with me? Answer, you love them and you look for practical ways to show them honor. Perhaps that's sending a card on their birthday or the holidays or calling them from time to time to check in. You see, this is the gospel in action. We love Him because He first loved us. Here in His love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. But God demonstrated His love towards us in that while we were yet sinners, while we were ignoring God, Christ died for us. I don't know your particular situation, but I do know that if you belong to Christ, you are expected to be kind, tenderhearted, forgiving to all, even as God, for Christ's sake, has been kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving to you. These are not nice little sentiments that we say with our lips, this is how we ought to live. We not only believe and proclaim the gospel, we ought to live the gospel. How do you honor your adult parents biblically as an adult when they do not live a God-honoring life? You prayerfully look for ways to show them something of who Christ is in his grace and love by practical acts of Christian kindness. You have to take the initiative, just like God took the initiative towards us, yeah? Now having answered the question from the two perspectives, let me draw to a conclusion by giving a word to parents and a fitting application to all. A word to parents. Parents, I hope and I pray that this question that has been asked is not directed at you by one of your children. And likewise, even if your child did not submit this question, I hope and I pray that your children do not think that you're living a sinful or hypocritical life. Listen, parents, listen. Our children know us better than anyone at church. We may pretend to be something on Sundays that we are not. Our children know what is real and what is true at home. And sadly, one of the most unfortunate realities that harms the cause of Christ more than anything among the church are two-faced, double-minded parents. I hate to say it, but I must. There are some who call themselves Christian, who frequent a church and appear to be an example of what a parent should be at church, but at home, they are monsters. Listen, parents. In the parenting of your children, nothing is more important than your personal godliness. You can fill the heads of your children with Bible verses and you can tell them that it is important to love Jesus, but if they don't see Jesus Christ in you, you are doing parenting wrong. J.C. Ryle says, the parent who tries to train without setting a good example is building up with one hand and pulling down with the other. Listen parents, listen, more is caught than taught. You can educate your children all you want about everything in life, you can encourage your children to get straight A's and end up on the presidential honor roll, but if the example of your life speaks hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite, don't be surprised if they grow up and become hypocrites themselves. I know I'm shooting straight with you tonight. But we've lost a countless number of young people in our churches because of the hypocrisy of their parents. They think they're spiritual for bringing their children to church for two hours every week while the hours at home are wasted. If I've seen it once, I've seen it 100 times as a pastor. Such and such a family appear to be good Christians on Sunday when the reality was they were heathen Monday through Saturday. People are really good at pretending. Sadly, there's a lot of phoniness, there's a lot of fakeness that is killing the souls of our children. So parents, parents, what should we do? We need to do all that we can to love God with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength. That's the biblical motto. Study it out, Deuteronomy 6. Before you teach your children diligently, you need to love the Lord with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. Parents, we need to do all that we can to grow in Christ-like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Parents, listen to me. We need to be real. We need to work hard at fighting against sin. We need to sometimes ask our children for forgiveness when we fail them. We need to show them that we are sinners in desperate need of Jesus's grace. And we need to strive to be a living sermon of godliness before the eyes of our children. Yes, this should cause us to tremble. This should cause us to cry out, who is sufficient for these things? And then it should cause us to go to God crying out for his divine enablement. If I can encourage you parents to do just one thing well in your life, I would encourage you to be the best godly parent that you can be. What our churches need more than anything are godly parents. We don't need more children's programs. We don't need more entertaining activities in the youth group. We don't need mom's groups. We don't need play dates. We don't need professional youth pastors parenting our children for us. What we need are parents who will live in the fear of God among the eyes of their children. We need parents who will truly love the Lord Jesus Christ more than sports, their career, a big home, fast cars, and the fleeting pleasures of this life. I don't know about you, but my dying wish is that God would give me the grace and strength to live a godly life before the eyes of my children so that after I die, they can honestly look somebody in the eye and say, my dad truly loved the Lord. Who he was at church is who he was at home. He wasn't perfect, but he did practice what he preached. He wasn't sinless, but he was sincere. We were not rich. We never went to Disney World. We never had the world's luxuries. We never went on elaborate vacations, but our dad taught us to love God. That's my dying desire. whether my children are Christian or not. If I die next week, I would desire that they would testify at my funeral that they knew without a doubt. that I love them immensely, that they knew without a doubt that I love Becky passionately. They knew without a doubt that I tried to maintain a Christian character in the community, and they know without a doubt that Jesus Christ was not just an add-on to my life, but that Jesus Christ was my life. I will die a happy man if this can be said. of my children. If I fail at everything else but succeed in this one thing, I feel I've succeeded in life. So parents, let me poke you. How's your walk with God? Are you exemplifying before the eyes of your children a God-honoring life? What do your children see in you? What do they hear coming out of your mouth? What do they know about you that nobody else knows? You see, we're always getting back to this. Christianity is not about what we do on Sundays before the eyes of men for an hour or two. Christianity is about living for Christ before God and before our children in the everyday details of life. Your parents thought they were off the hook because the question was directed at children. Think again. And finally, as I promised, the application of this message for everyone is to do what we can to honor the God-given authorities in our life, even if they do not fear God. It may be that you are a wife, living with an unsaved husband. It may be that you are an employee with an unsaved employer. It may be that you are a student of an unsaved teacher. It may be that you are a citizen in the United States living in a nation with an unsaved president. Hello. This applies to us. The applications of this sermon are right here. If we know Christ, we are to do what we can to live for Christ and to live like Christ in our sin-filled world. What is it that our world and our nation needs more than anything? Our world and nation needs Christians to act like Christians. for Christians to be bright and burning lights, for Christians to be savory salt. Our world and nation needs a visible manifestation of who Jesus is. There are a lot of sermons online that teach about Jesus. There are a lot of churches in our communities that claim to be Christian. but few living examples of what that looks like on a practical level. So do everything you can to be a bright and burning light in this dark and perverse world. And if you are not in Christ, the closing application is for you to repent and believe the gospel. You cannot be a Christian if you are not a Christian. You cannot be an example if you don't know the Savior. So come, all you who are laboring and heavy laden, and Jesus will give you rest. Let's pray.