Proverbs. We're going to read several Proverbs. The older I get, I come across Christians and they begin to talk as if they look forward to death. And as a young Christian, I thought, well, how crazy that is. There's so much to live for. But you know, it doesn't take too long until you begin to understand that, don't you? That death could be welcomed. That's not what I'm preaching about today, but it's something that's on my mind a lot lately. I want to read to you several Proverbs, probably about five Proverbs. I love the Proverbs. I love to go through the Proverbs and read the Proverbs. I love the Psalms. And one of the great things that, and you know I want to tell you, I'm so blessed and encouraged by the fact that several of you this week have told me how that you've been reading through your MacArthur Daily Bible. And it's one thing to get one, it's another thing to read one. And a lot of you have been reading that, and not that I'm trying to elevate Brother MacArthur, but it is a really good way to read through the Scripture in a year. I've had several of you comment on how wonderfully it's divided up and how it's divided up at such good places and how it helps you to kind of read through the Scriptures. And if you're reading through that, you know that every day you have some Proverbs, you have some Psalms, You have Old Testament Scripture. You have New Testament Scripture. I devoured mine. You can read through it in a year. I think I read through mine in eight months. I devoured it. I loved it so much. And right now I'm reading through an English Standard Version, and I'm devouring that. I'm enjoying that. But I love the Proverbs. I'll read to you several Proverbs, and you can just kind of follow along with me. The first one is in Chapter 13. And I'm going to do something today that I hardly ever do. You're thinking he's going to preach only 15 minutes. No, that's not what it is. So don't get excited about that. But I am going to do something today that I hardly ever do. I'm going to preach about fathers, about fatherhood. You've heard me say a lot of times that I never preach a message just because it's a certain date on a calendar or because it's a holiday. I don't do that. But there are some things this week that God brought into my... I was in a place where I was put in a position where I heard some things and God used those things to begin to stir my thinking and to begin to lead me to think and to study about some of the things the Scripture says about biblical manhood and biblical fatherhood. And I want to read to you some of these great Proverbs. First of all, Proverbs 13, verse 1. A wise son heeds his father's instruction, but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke. Now, all of us young boys, we could say, Amen to that, because most of us were probably scoffers. We didn't listen to rebuke. But a wise son heeds his father's instruction. Go over to chapter 15 and look at verse 5. A fool despises his father's instruction, but he who receives correction is prudent. Isn't it wise to be corrected? The biggest fool in the world is a fool that doesn't know he's a fool and won't let anybody tell him that he's one. Right? That just won't listen. And the Bible says here that a fool despises his father's instruction. Go to chapter 20 and look at verse 20. Whoever curses his father, or his mother, his lamp will be put out in deep darkness. Proverbs chapter 20, verse 20. Whoever curses his father or his mother, his lamp will be put out in deep darkness. Go to chapter 23. Look at verse 22. Chapter 23, verse 22. Listen to your Father who begot you, and do not despise your mother when she is old. Is there a statue of limitations on honoring your mother and father? That's a good verse, isn't it? Don't despise your mother. But I've got to tell you, this last one is my favorite. We're going to go to chapter 30. This is one we all ought to put on our refrigerator. Proverbs 30, verse 17, the eye that mocks his father and scorns obedience to his mother, the ravens of the valley will pick it out and the young eagles will eat it. That's quite a thought, isn't it? That's pretty rough stuff. But that's how seriously the Bible deals with honoring our mother and honoring our father. I don't think that any of you that live on the same planet that I live on, and that hear the things that I hear, see the things that I see, experience the things that I experience, can deny the reality that biblical manhood and biblical fatherhood And really the institution of being a father in general has come under tremendous attack in our generation and in our times. I mean, that's just a simple fact. And there are several different ways, and I want to talk to you just real briefly about three particular ways that biblical fatherhood and biblical manhood has come under attack. One of the ways is through what I call radical feminism. Now, don't misunderstand what I'm about to say, and don't you ladies get mad, and if you get mad, you'll be okay, and I'll be okay, and we'll all be okay, alright? I love women. My mother is here. She's a woman. I have four sisters. They're all women. I married a woman, and my daughter is on the way to being a woman. I have nothing against women. There's nothing wrong with women, but we need to understand that there is something that has arisen in our country, especially in the last 30 or 40 years, called radical feminism. And radical feminism, even though there may have been a basis Because there has been mistreatment of women, abuse of women in days gone by in our culture and in our land. Radical feminism is basically nothing more than man-hating. Man-hating is what it is. I remember when I was a boy, I used to watch the Little Rascals, and Spanky, and Buckwheat, and what's the other one? Alfalfa. They started a club called the He-Man Woman Haters Club. You remember the He-Man Woman Haters Club? Well, the radical feminists, they are the He-Woman Man Haters Club. And their view of men is that they are good for nothing but to be a sperm donor. They don't need them as fathers. They don't need them as husbands. They don't need them in the home. They don't need them in the family. And they don't need them anywhere. And if you don't believe that exists, turn on the nightly cable news network, and ever so often, one of those ladies, if that's what you would call them, will be on some of those shows, and they spew venom and hatred and vitriol toward men. They just don't like men. They view men as the problem of every issue in our culture. And we know that men are sinners and men fail and men have a lot of needs. But can I tell you, if we go back to the grand old book God still intended for there to be a father in a family. Amen? Hillary said it takes a village to raise a kid. No, it took a village idiot to write that book. That is not the truth. It takes a family to raise a child. Right? A mother, a father. A mother, a father. A mother, a father. No, not Not that one is better than the other. I can't be a mother, and a father can't be a mother, and a mother can't be a father. There are things that my kids get from Kim that I can't give them. And hopefully, with all of my faults and failings and weaknesses and sin, hopefully there are things that they get from me that they can't get from her. So, one of the things that has really hurt fatherhood is radical feminism where men are looked down upon, men are, you know, just no good, and who needs a man anyway? You ever heard that? Who needs a man anyway? I've heard women say that. Well, who needs a man anyway? Who needs a man? I've heard women say that within my hands. Who needs a man anyway? Well, let me say this. Children need a man. Amen? Children need a man. Now, not only do you have radical feminism, but you also have rampant materialism. The American dream has robbed many families of daddy. Do you agree with what I'm saying? Think what I'm saying. Because we've got to have everything, we have to have more money to buy everything. So dad has to spend more time away from the family, away from the kids, away from the wife, making more money so we can have everything that the neighbors have. So that we can live in the same neighborhood that all the other neighbors live in, that we look up to, and we want to keep up to their status. Now don't misunderstand what I'm saying. Anything that God gives you that you don't have to get at the expense of your children, thank God for it. Use it for His glory. But the problem is, you know as well as I do, that there's a lot of stuff we think we've got to have that we don't got to have. And because we think we've got to have it, here's what we do. We work 14 hours a day and then we're trying to find other ways to make more money to buy more stuff so that we can keep up with the Joneses. so that we can have this house, this, you know, the two new cars out in the driveway, this type house, live in this neighborhood, take these trips and do all these different things. And before long, the daddy is just a guy who walks in late at night after everybody's done gone to bed, he collapses, gets up, leaves before everybody else gets up and goes out and makes more money. And all he is, is just a paycheck. But he really has no influence in the family. He has no influence. He doesn't relate to his wife. He doesn't relate to his children. And you know what's sad about that? What's sad about it is, one day you wake up and realize, I don't even know my kids. One day you wake up and realize, I don't even know my wife. One day, you know, like Kim and I, I was gone for 10 years, and then all of a sudden I was home, and one day you wake up and you realize, hey, we've got to live together. And you were gone for 10 years, and now here you are back in the home, and now we've got to live together, and we've got to figure out how to get along together all over again, and you've got input in the family. Now what do we do about this, you see? So radical feminism, it's dealt a tremendous blow to fatherhood and manhood, but not only that, materialism has. But here's one too that's dealt a blow to fatherhood and manhood, and that's the media portrayal and castigation of fatherhood and men on TV. Now, I don't know how much TV you watch, but if you're like me, you probably watch too much if you watch any. But if you watch TV, I challenge you one night to sit down and watch and think about what you're watching and think about the way that men are portrayed on the shows on television. Isn't it true that most of the families on television, it's the woman who's got it all together? She's kind of the one that's smart and keeps it all together. And if it wasn't for her, the place would just be absolutely nuts. I mean, the place would be nuts. Now let me give you a couple of examples. The probably one of the most popular shows, and I get a kick out of it from time to time that's on TV right now, is Everybody Loves Raymond. Think about the three men on Everybody Loves Raymond. Raymond is a goofball. He's a goofball. He's an absolute goofball. I mean, he means well. He intends well. But he doesn't even relate to his wife. She's a smart one in the family. Isn't that right? He doesn't even relate to his wife. He has really no relationship with his kids. And he's ruled by his mother who lives across the street. His brother, who is a policeman, is psychotic because his whole life he feels like he's been mistreated because the mother loves Raymond more than him. So he basically is a big six foot, three foot, six foot, three inch, six foot, three foot, that'd be big, six foot, three inch basket case. And then you got Frank, the daddy. whose whole aim in life is what's in the refrigerator, what's to eat next, and that's his whole life. And he goes from one house to another, to the refrigerator, and he insults people, and he's mean to people, and he's angry at everybody. Right? Now, that's the way those three men are portrayed on that television program. And here's Deborah Raymond's wife, and here's Robert's wife, and they're the ones that really hold it all together. Now, that makes for good comedy, but what's the message that's sending? Right? I'll give you another one. King of Queens. Have you ever watched King of Queens? I know King of Queens, it gets a little racy and probably there's some things on it that believers shouldn't be watching. But if you've ever watched that, who holds the whole family together? It's her. It's her. It's the woman. I mean, you know what he does? He lies to her. He'll take the money and you'll go off on some trip to Las Vegas somewhere, or Atlantic City, and you'll gamble it all away. And the whole show makes him out to be some kind of an idiot, liar, clown, and his greatest joy in life is to go out to his garage, sit with his buddies, drink beer, and watch sports on TV. That is the portrayal of him as a man. Now, I say all of that to say this, isn't that the message that's being pounded and pounded and pounded and pounded and pounded and pounded into the minds of our young people? Isn't that the message that says fathers are a joke, they're not important, all they're concerned about is sports, and football games, and all these different things, and drinking beer, and gambling, and really, who needs them anyway, because look at what they are. That's the message that our culture is sending about fathers. But that ain't what the book says, is it? And can I tell you, when are we going to understand that you can't go to the Word of God and say, all right, here's what God said, but we can do it a different way and there's no consequences to it. We can't do it. We can't do it. We've tried it in a million different ways, haven't we? Our culture has tried in a million different ways to do that great thing. All right, here's what God said, but even though God said it this way, we're more enlightened and we're more educated and we're farther along down the road. So even though God said it this way, we're not going to do it this way because we can do it a better way than God can do it. And that is the chaos of our culture. That's the chaos of our culture, and can I tell you, we're going to understand, as goes the family, so goes the nation. Satan did not come and say, I will destroy this nation in a moment of time. But he began in the home and he began in the family. And not only as goes the family, so goes the nation, but as goes the family, so goes the church. I don't know about you, but I'm thankful and I praise God that here, when I get up here on Sunday morning, I see something that you don't see in a lot of churches. Men! Men! There's a lot of churches that if it wasn't for those last three little old ladies, they would have shut the doors a long time ago. There's a lot of churches where you can't find a man to take a leadership position, a leadership role, and you can't find a man to stand up. You can't even find a man that can find John 3, 16 in a lot of churches anymore. And that's sad, but that's true. Isn't it interesting, and doesn't it strike you as very, very important that God wants to be known as a Father? I challenge you to do this. Before you leave here, if you don't have one at home, you go in that library and you get that Strong's Concordance and look up the word father and see how many times God is referred to as a father in the Bible. Now I know a lot of the new song books and I know a lot of the modern versions of the Scripture, they would like to make God a father or a mother, whatever you want Him to be. But you can't do that. and be biblically correct. God is a father. I've talked about God being a father. And God is the great example that we should emulate in our being a father, an earthly father. Yes, an imperfect father. But you say, well, I never had a father to look up to. Well, then get in this book and look up to that father and learn what it means to be a father. And then, as God gives you grace, learn how to become the father that God would have you to be. Now, before I even get into the points of the message, we all just need to start out by saying, we've all done messed up bad. We've all messed up bad. Some of you right now, you're thinking, oh, my kids are already this big. I've done blown it. Can I tell you? God is able in His amazing grace to undo some of the most terrible messes that we as men can make at the last hour of the night. God in grace can step in and say, yes, this is what you were, this is where you were wrong, but let me show you how much I love you and what I can do in spite of your earthly failures. And that comforts me and encourages me. But let's think about some of the things the Bible tells us about fathers. First of all, the Bible tells us that it's the Father that is to give His children the knowledge of God. Now think about that. It's the Father who gives our children the knowledge of God. Go with me over to the book of Genesis chapter 18. This always catches my eye. Now you know what is happening in Genesis chapter 18. In Genesis 19, God is going to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah. But before he destroys Sodom and Gomorrah, in a theophanic appearance, he comes with two angels to Abraham in the plains of Mamre. Remember, Abraham asks them to stay. Abraham fixes a meal or they fix a meal. They spend some time together. And then they get up and the angels begin to go towards Sodom. Now, here's what happens in Genesis chapter 18. Look at verse 16. It's all about these two angels. Then the men rose from there and looked toward Sodom, and Abraham went with them to send them on the way. And the Lord said, Shall I have from Abraham what I am doing? Since Abraham shall surely become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth shall be blessed in him. Now look at verse 19, For I have known him, in order that he may command his children and his household after him, that they keep the way of the Lord to do righteousness and justice, and that the Lord may bring to Abraham what he has spoken unto him." Here's the way it is. God said, I'm not going to hide from Abraham what I'm about to do because I chose Abraham. And part of what I chose Abraham to do is that he's going to take his children, his descendants, and he's going to teach them the knowledge of the Lord. And Abraham did that, did he not? How many times, and we won't turn there for the sake of time, how many times do you find this in the Bible? I am the God of your father Abraham. I am the God of your father Isaac. Isn't that what we find with Isaac? God appears to Isaac in the book of Genesis. I'm the God of your father Abraham. I'm the God that your father Abraham served, walked with, lived for, and told you about. Isn't that what happened with Jacob? Jacob flees from Esau, lays his head on a pillow at night. He has this dream, and in the dream there's this ladder reaching up to heaven, and God said, I'm the God of your father Abraham and Isaac. I'm the God that your father Isaac walked with and talked with and lived with. I'm the God of your father. Now don't misunderstand. That is not demeaning the place that women have in communicating the truth of God to children. Charles Wesley and John Wesley attributed much of what God did in and through their life to their mother, Susanna Wesley, who set them at her feet and taught them the Word of God. Do you know Matthew Henry, the great writer of the commentary, which is probably still the most popular commentary that was written, I think, in the 1700s? Do you know where he said he got most of his knowledge of the Scriptures? Sitting at the feet of his father. Sitting at the feet of his father. Listening to his father teach the Word of the living God. So, it is the father's responsibility It is His calling as the spiritual head of the home to convey to His children the knowledge of God. Now don't misunderstand me. You can't convert your children. Nor can I. We all wish we could sometimes, don't we? But you can't convert your children. But you can convey biblical truth to your children. And can I tell you, I don't know about you, and I'm not dogmatic on this. You know, people will pin you up on the wall and say you ought to sit down with your children an hour every day and just make them sit there an hour and teach them the Bible. Well, if you can get your children to do that, God bless you. I was in a ministry one time and they got on this big kick about family devotions. And you know, it was one of them deals where they would shame you. You know, it was one of them deals, the next time you seen them, they were going to go, have you been having them devotions? So you thought, hey, I better get it done or I'll be in trouble. So we tried to have family devotions in a real organized type of way and it was a disaster. It was an absolute disaster. Now there is a way of doing it, a good way of doing it, a godly way of doing it, but your family's different, my family's different. One of the great blessings, I guess, that probably, I think, as I thought about this this morning, that makes it easier on me than it probably is on you, is that I just happen to be the pastor of a church. And since I happen to be the pastor of a church, I'm always studying, I'm always reading, I'm always teaching, I'm always preaching. But your lifestyle is probably different than that. So it's not going to be as easy for you. But can I tell you, in my opinion, and I believe this is so true, Just the fact that your children look at Daddy and know that God is real to Daddy has a tremendous impact upon their lives. Tremendous. Oh, this is not just some game, but this is Dad. Dad prays. Dad reads the Bible. Dad goes to church. Dad is serious about the things of God. And can I tell you, that's important for a young girl, but it is three times as important for a young boy who looks up to his dad and emulates his dad so often. So important. So, first of all, as fathers, we are to give our children, and listen, don't get down on yourself. We all have different gifts. We all have different abilities. We all have different talents. We all have different methods. There's a lot of things I wouldn't agree with Charles Stanley on. But one thing I heard him say one time that I really like, He said that for years, as they would eat supper together every night, this was his thing. He would get them to end the conversation, and somehow during the end of the conversation, he would ask them a question about something, and the question would somehow, he could direct it to some spiritual topic. And before long, they would be talking about the things of God, and his son Andy or his daughter would go and get a Bible. They would sit there with their Bible at the supper table, and you know what he said? He said, we were having family devotion, and they never even knew it was happening. It doesn't always work that way, but sometimes it does. So you see, it is our responsibility Another thing we need to understand is that isn't it true that oftentimes it's the Father who leads the children away from God, isn't it? Isn't it true? A lot of times it's the Father who leads the children away from God. That's just a fact of Scripture. Go with me to the book of Ezekiel, chapter 20. Now, in Ezekiel, the prophet is writing about the rebellion of Israel, and there's a little statement that he makes about their rebellion and the direction that they were going in that catches my eye. Ezekiel chapter 20, and look at verse 23. He said, Also I raised my hand in an oath, to those in the wilderness, that I would scatter them among the Gentiles, and disperse them throughout the countries, because they had not executed My judgments, but had despised My statutes, profaned My Sabbaths," now here's what I want you to see, "...and their eyes were fixed," where? "...on their father's idols." In other words, they were idolaters, but who introduced them to idolatry? Their fathers did, didn't they? Their forefathers. Have you ever read about... We won't take the time to read it for the sake of time, but how many times have you read through the book of 1 Kings, 2 Kings, 1 Chronicles, 2 Chronicles, and what does it repeatedly say? He did not follow the Lord like his father so and so. He followed after the sins of Jeroboam the son of Nebah. He did not do this like so-and-so. He followed after the sins of his father so-and-so. He did what his father so-and-so did. It's a tremendous influence. Ask any school teacher. I don't know if we have any here or not. But ask a school teacher. Ask a school teacher what an uphill battle it is to help children in any kind of way when they've got a tremendously negative influence at home that they always have to go home to every night. Ask any school teacher about it. And you know, thank God for His miraculous grace. Because on Thursday night, as I looked at those kids, and we were making hamburgers for them, and we were giving ice cream to them, and Joe was teaching them the Bible, and Joe was singing the songs of God to them, and with them, and they were participating. I was sitting there at one time, and I thought, what a wonderful thing, that even though they may have to go back down here to a home that we cannot begin to imagine, God is able to take the truth that is sown today, in some wonderful tomorrow. But understand, it's hard to go against daddy's influence. Is it not? Most boys want to be like their daddy. Some girls idolize their father. And many times, it is the Father who sets the spiritual temperature of the family. After 18 years of preaching, or trying to preach, after 18 years of preaching, it is so heartbreaking year after year, year after year, year after year, to stand and watch these sweet, dear, broken-hearted mothers bring their kids to church on Sunday, but Daddy is too macho, he doesn't need God, and their hearts are broken, and they weep and they pray and they wait on God, and God in His grace many times does indeed work a miracle, but how wonderful to see the whole family there standing before God. And you kids that have it, It may not mean anything to you now, but someday it will. Right? Someday it will. Thank God. Sometimes it's the Father that leads a family away from God. Another great truth the Bible teaches is that it's the Father's responsibility to create an environment of love and integrity in the home. Where do most men learn to beat their wives? Where did a lot of them see that at? From their father. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it. Husbands love your wives. Husbands love your wives. So ought husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church. Where does a little boy learn to honor women? Where does a little boy learn that you don't hit a woman? You don't curse a woman. You don't curse a man, but you sure don't curse a woman. Where does a little boy get that? I know where I got it. I got it at home. I never saw my dad lay a hand on my mother. I saw them argue just like my children have seen Kim and I argue. But I never saw him lay a hand on my mother. And that sent a powerful message to me that men do not hit women. Right? That's right. Some things are better caught than taught. Daddy never took me out into the back of the barn and said, now son, here's the way it is, you're a boy, don't hit girls. That never happened. But somehow I figured it out. I caught it. I call it. I call it by example. It's the husband that is to set the temperature of integrity and love and kindness and gentleness. And all of us as men, we're sitting here right now, and I prove myself, we're convicted and we're troubled in our own heart because we know that oftentimes that is not what we have been before our family. What an example. Example is powerful. You can't begin to understand how powerful example is. Example is so powerful. An unspoken example is so powerful, it says so much. For instance, my desire to pay my bills, my desire to be honest, I've never defaulted on a loan. I've never been late on a payment for anything I've ever borrowed money to pay for. Now you know where I got that from? I got it from my dad. I learned it by watching my dad and my mom. And my dad and my mom had four daughters and a son. He worked all day building houses, came home and worked in the fields till dark to support that many people. Today it would take ten million dollars to raise that many kids. And yet I knew, even as a kid, I knew that what... I knew in the community that what my dad said was honored as true. One day when we were stripping the back of one winner, he didn't say, now son, you know, you got to be honest and pay your bill. He never did that because I caught it. I think by then he knew I caught it. Example is a powerful thing. Another great truth is that the Father is to be the provider in the home. What does the Bible say in 1 Timothy 5.8? If a man will provide for those of his own household, he is worse than an infidel. Right? Go to 2 Thessalonians. There's some interesting stuff in the Bible, isn't there? 2 Thessalonians 3, verse 6, But we command you, brethren, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you withdraw from every brother. Notice, we won't blame this on the women. The problem in the church there was not with the women. He wasn't saying there's women walking around talking all the time, causing trouble, not working. That ain't what he's saying. He's talking about the brothers. Withdraw yourself from every brother who walks disorderly and not according to the tradition which he received from us. For you yourselves know how you ought to follow us, for we were not disorderly among you. Lord, if we eat anyone's bread free of charge, but work with labor and toil night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you. Not because we do not have authority, but to make ourselves an example of how you should follow us. For even when we were with you, we commanded you this, if anyone will not work, neither shall he eat. For we hear that there are some who walk among you in a disorderly manner, not working at all, but are busybodies. Now those who are such we command and exhort through our Lord Jesus Christ that they work in quietness and eat their own bread." And I bet those people at the Thessalonian church that were doing that, they always showed up at supper time. And what's he saying? He's saying, listen, brothers, work and support your family. Work and support your family. Take care of your family. Now, we all understand. Listen, we all understand. And I know the heart of the people of this church. If there's someone in this church that because of physical need or some kind of problem gets in trouble, we'll take care of you. We'll do whatever we have to do, whatever God gives us the ability to do. We'll do it. We'll take care of you. We'll try to help you. But that's not what this is talking about. It's talking about these men who wouldn't support their family. And let me just say this too. The Bible doesn't teach that it is exclusively only men. Because the Bible does teach that women contribute to the support of the family, does it not? What about the Proverbs 31 woman? She makes sashes and sells them for the good of her family. What about those widow ladies in the Bible who labored and took care of their family? So I don't think I'm trying to be dogmatic on that, but I'm trying to make the point that the father is to be the provider in the home. Now, another thing, the father, according to the Bible, is to be probably the primary discipline in the home. Now, let me just say this. Ladies, please, don't turn your husband into the monster that's coming home at five o'clock that you used to threaten the kids with. There's always a tendency to do that, isn't it? And I know, in our family, here's the way it is. Kim is with the kids all day long. And because she's with them all day long, they sometimes do not listen to her the way they should. And they understand that I expect them to listen to her the way they should. It's hard to come home and the first thing you see when you see your kids is you got to get them, right? You got to get them. But sometimes you got to get them. There's just no way around it. And that's not being unloving, that's being loving. Do you remember the first prophecy God gave to Samuel? The first prophecy God gave to Samuel is, I'm going to destroy Eli and his family because his sons were rebellious against the Lord and he didn't do anything to restrain them. Do you remember when David was an old man, laying and dying? And God had already said that Solomon was going to be king, but Adonijah was running around saying, I'm going to be king, I'm going to be king. You remember what the Bible said about David? David never rebuked him and said, no, you're not going to be king. The Bible is so plain. The Bible said that the Lord chastened us And he does it like a father who pities his children or loves his children. The Lord corrects me because He loves me. And we correct our children because we love them. I'm not talking about abusing your children. But the Bible does say that we are to bring our children up in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord. It involves instruction. It involves correction. And sometimes it involves coaching. Some of you older parents, you can amen this. It ain't ever over, is it? You think, oh, I can't wait until I get 18. I can't wait until I get out of college. And man, are we going to really have an easy life then? It don't come, does it? Yeah, some would say it gets worse. But discipline. Discipline ain't easy, is it? Another thing, and this one is the one that breaks my heart, is that fathers have to guard against harshness and cruelty. I want to read to you two scriptures. Go back to Ephesians 6 and Colossians 3. Verse 1, Ephesians 6, 1. Children, obey your parents and the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment, with promise that it may be well with you, that you may live long on the earth. And you fathers, notice it is addressed to fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath. Go to Colossians 3. Fathers, do not provoke your children lest they become discouraged. Now, dads. Can't we do that? You men. Can't we be inflexible, insensible, unkind, impatient? And in our attempt to control our children, we provoke them, we exasperate them, we discourage them, I think some of the paraphrases of that called it breaking their spirit. Breaking their spirit. And can I tell you what happens if you're not careful? You lose them. You lose them. And you know where a lot of it comes from? Not so much our concern for them as our fear of their embarrassment of us. So we just hover over. You know Morgan, I'm worse than the world with Morgan because I guess I just don't know how to relate to her. And that's not her fault, that's much of my fault. Her mother tries to explain it to me, Thelma tries to explain it to me, and I still don't get it. I love her, I love her more than I love my life. I remember one night driving up I-75, going to the lesson and to preach, praying, and the Holy Spirit, as clearly as I've ever had God speak to me, said, Morgan thinks you love Luke more than you love her. And I called her, and I said, Morgan, and I cried, and she cried, And I said, if I've made you feel that way, I am so sorry. Then they become, you know, teenagers, a certain age, a certain, you know, and then you, you know, the thing is, how can I control them? You want to control them because you don't want them to make some mistake that you made. But can I tell you, we can't. We can't make every decision for them. We can't hover over them every minute. And can I tell you, here's where we do it most. We think we can hover over them and drive them into the kingdom of God, and in many times we drive them away from God. Not that we don't love them and pray for them and weep over them and give them scripture and say, have you thought about what God said about this? Not that we don't do that. But it's so easy that we end up provoking them. We end up just exasperating them. We end up just discouraging them. And before long, they cut us off. And it can happen between mothers and kids, but I think there's a reason God's put it in the terms of a father. I think one of the reasons is, is because as a rule, it's not always the case, we fathers are much less sensitive. to what's going on in our children's mind, in our hearts. Our wives, they usually know, they can kind of sense, they can kind of understand, but a lot of times us fathers, we're not made up in such a way that we are always sensitive. So sometimes we come in like a bull at a china shop and we go, this is it, this is the way it is, this is the way you're going to do it. And they go, but Daddy. And you go, no, this is the way it is. This is the way it's going to be. But Daddy, no, this is the way it is. And after about five years of that, they don't even listen no more. There's a difference. Listen, listen. I was in a prison ministry that was the most legalistic, harsh, mean-spirited organization I've ever been in in my life. And I watched one of their missionaries, who had been one of their missionaries for years, stand up in a men's meeting and cry like a baby. Cry like a baby because he looked back on his family and he said, I blew it with my children. I blew it with my children because he thought he could put the laws and the regulations of the religion on them Make them turn out right and they showed him when they got old enough, I'll do as I please and you can't control me anymore. And that man cried, I felt so sorry for him. He cried like a baby. I've lost my son. One more thing. Fathers, with all of our imperfections are to be honored and obey. Did you notice God didn't say honor your father if he was a good one? I want to read to you. three real quick verses. You don't even have to turn there if you don't like. But first of all, what's one of the Ten Commandments? Honor your father and mother, for this is the first commandment with promise, so that your days may be long upon the earth. Exodus chapter 20. Look at Leviticus chapter 19. Verse 1, And the Lord spoke to Moses, saying, Speak to all the congregation of the children of Israel, and say to them, You shall be holy, for I the Lord your God am holy. And then look at the very next thing he says, Every one of you shall revere his mother and father. Deuteronomy. 27, which is a restatement of the law. Let me see if I can get it right. Look at verse 16. Cursing is the one who treats his father or his mother with contempt. And all the people shall say, Amen. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Why? Let me just suggest some things. First of all, number one, you should honor your father if for no other reason because God said so. And as Christians, that's our final word, isn't it? But another reason, you should honor your father because there's a promise connected with it. Remember, it was the first commandment, promise, honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God has given unto you. There was a promise connected with the honoring of the mother and the father. But now here's the one I want you to listen to, and if you don't hear nothing I say, listen to this, please. Obey your mother and father because there is protection in it for you. You know what occurred to me one day when I was taking a shower? That I want my kids to like me too much. So because I want them to like me, I let them do stuff that I probably shouldn't let them do, because if I don't let them do it, they might not like me. And then my mom's sitting back there, I can't remember one time my mom cared whether I liked her or not. I knew she loved me. But here's the way it is. Isn't it funny how things have changed? We were talking about this one night, I think, over at their house. When I was a kid, when the family got together, all the old people ate first and the kids waited. Now, the kids all eat first and the old people wait. I'm not against the kids eating, but somewhere along the way, we lost that sense of reverence for age. We lost that sense of reverence for wisdom. And now, here's what mama does every night. She got three kids. Well, what do y'all want for supper? I want a hamburger. I want pizza. I want a corn dog. So she goes and fixes three different things for three different kids so that all the kids can be happy. When I was a kid, we'd come to the table and there was a big pot of beans. Boom! And that was it. You either ate it or you went hungry. And if you said, I don't want it, you sure didn't want to do that, but one time. If you ever said, I don't like it, you'd have never said it again. But now we tiptoe around our kids because I want them to like me. I want to be their buddy. That ain't your job. Your job is to bring them up in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord. And you may have to make them frown at you today to get them to come back to you when they're 25 and put their arms around your neck and say, thank God you didn't let me do all that junk I wanted to do. There's protection in a mom and dad's authority. I'll give you an example. And I promise, we're going to take communion. But our kids are under intense pressure to dress the way the kids of the world dress, which is hardly at all. I mean, now you go out into public places, and you know, I'm embarrassed for the people what they're wearing. But here we get our kids, they go, well, everybody at school, they dress like that. So I want it too because I want to fit in. And here's mom and dad saying, honey, you don't need to dress like that. No, I got to because everybody else wears it. And I got a feeling, honey, you don't need to dress like that because, number one, you're a Christian and the Bible talks about being modest. But here's where daddy comes in. Daddy knows something that a little teenage girl doesn't know. Daddy used to be a young teenage boy. And he knows that men are sexually stimulated by what they see. So he says, no honey, this isn't right, because this could get you in trouble, this could put you in a position that would be dangerous. And the whole time she's going, but Susie has it, and it's 50% off at Lilo and Stitch down at the mall or wherever. Abercrombie and Peach, I know what it is. Girls, your daddy knows something you may not know. You go out in a fire suit, you're hunting for a fire. We all wrestle with that, don't we? Because all the girls, they want to be accepted, and they want to be liked, and they want to be in the crowd. Well, let me tell you something, kids. Five days after you're out of school, they're not even going to remember your name. Five days after you graduate, and all that group of people that you were so worried about fitting in with, they're not even going to remember your name. And all that's going to matter in the end, listen, in the end what you're going to have? The Lord and your family. The Lord and your family. So there's protection in a father's authority. And the mother's too. And when I say that, a father and mother's authority are one, right? Don't ever let your kids play off each other. If you want an atomic bomb to go off, you let my kids try to play me against her. Go to her and tell her part of it, and then come to me and tell me part of it, and then begin to play us off one another. If I get a hold of that buddy, the bomb is going off. Because we're one. Sometimes you might look in our window and you might not think we're one, but we are. So may God give us fathers. Fathers with a backbone like a saw log. Because that's what it's going to take in our day. And in our study of Genesis, You know, in our study of Genesis, you know what my favorite parts of the whole book was? Was when Jacob goes out to his wife and says, God's told me to go back to Bethel, back to the land of my country. And both of his wife said, whatever God said to you, do it. That. Bless my heart. And that's the way our relationship should be. Honey, I prayed about this. This is what I know God wants us to do. Alright, let's pray some more together. But whatever God said to you, let's do it. And by the way, those kids that you're so scared are going to get mad at you, they get over it quick. They get over it quick. I used to get so mad at dad that I could just, man. But I can't remember dad going, son, do you feel like, do you feel like chopping out tobacco today? I remember daddy doing that. Do you feel, son, it's cold and it's October. Do you feel like you're in the back of the night until 8 or 9 o'clock? If you don't want to, that's okay, because I wouldn't want to mess your psyche up or anything like that. And he said, let's go, boy. Loving, wasn't it? And I'm going to go out to the nursing home and celebrate Father's Day with my daddy. And if he lives a year, a day, or another ten years, the sweetest memories of my dad will be in that tobacco patch when I was a lone woman. And in that tobacco barn when he would open up and talk to me and teach me. Well, enough of that. Let's pray.