Alright, while the young folks are making their way downstairs for junior church, I'll invite you to turn with me in your Bibles to Colossians chapter 3. We will get back to Luke probably next week, but I want to take just another little step away from Luke this morning as we Look at this passage, I'm gonna be reading verses 12 and 13 here in just a moment. To begin the message, let me ask a question. How many of you enjoyed Thanksgiving? Okay, I'm not gonna ask if anybody didn't, so I won't put you on the spot. But let me ask a follow-up question. What did you most enjoy about Thanksgiving? Was it the food? Well, yeah, I enjoy a good Thanksgiving meal, and that's always delicious. But the truth be known, it is not past me, at least, in April, May, June, July, if Jan and I happen to be in a restaurant where they have a turkey meal. order it even though it's not Thanksgiving because I do enjoy turkey and all the stuff that comes with it. And I'm not saying that the food wasn't good and I didn't enjoy it this past Thanksgiving day, but I'm driving at something else. Was it the food or was it time with family and friends that really makes Thanksgiving a special time? Now, I'm not gonna put you on the spot and have you say, well, if the turkey was better, it would be. No, I'm not gonna ask you to do that. But I wanna challenge your thinking for a moment. One thing, the older I get, the more I have a sense of the importance of relationships. Be they with family, be they with friends. The fact is relationships are of vital importance. I don't have more to say about that because that's what I want to talk about here this morning. I want to talk about relationships. I want to talk about godly relationships. Because we just finished Thanksgiving, and for my view at least, the most important aspect of Thanksgiving is the time we have with family and friends. But we're also now entering into the Christmas season and what do we do over the course of the next three and a half weeks? Actually, the next four weeks, right? We have all these opportunities that come up to be with other people, to be with family, to be with friends, relationships. Relationships are fundamental to the lives that you and I live. And with that in mind, let me read here in Colossians 3, verses 12 and 13, and then we will ask the Lord to give us understanding of this passage and to help us to make application as necessary. So Paul writes, put on therefore elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering, forbearing one another, and forgiving one another. If any man have a quarrel against any, even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye." Let's pray together. Our Father, we are once again so very thankful for the opportunity we have to gather together on this Sunday morning, this Lord's Day morning. Lord, it may be cold outside, we may have snow on the ground, but Father, we're thankful that we have the freedom and the liberty and that you have provided for us a place where we can come together and meet. And Father, where we can seek to worship you. And I trust that this morning as we worship you through our fellowship in the word, that the Holy Spirit would speak to our hearts through what Paul is describing here about our relationships, the qualities that should be a description of how we relate to other people. And so Lord, I ask that you would bless your word to our hearts. not simply for today and not simply for the holiday season, be it Thanksgiving or Christmas, but as believers, may we recognize how these qualities should be a part of how we live every day, of every month, of every year, that this should be our testimony to those around us. So bless us in your word today and bring glory to yourself even as the spirit of God uses the word to mold and shape us into the image of Christ. We'll give you the glory as we pray this in Christ's name and for his sake, amen. So I'm sure that many of you took advantage of Thanksgiving, of the holiday, to spend time with family and friends. As I said, relationships are important. And the truth is the Bible has much to say about relationships. It really, when you do a study about relationships in the scripture, you'll find that God has a lot to say about how we relate to those around us, be they family, friends, or whomever. In fact, I came across something that is called the Ten Commandments of Human Relations. Now, I'm not saying this is tantamount to scripture, so please don't take this any further than it should be, but it is thought-provoking. Let me just share this with you very quickly. Ten commandments of human relations. Number one, speak to people. There's nothing as nice as a cheerful word of greeting. Smile at people. It takes 72 muscles to frown and only 14 to smile. Call people by name. Music to anyone's ears is the sound of his or her own name. Be friendly and helpful. Be cordial. Speak and act as if everything you do is genuinely a pleasure, and if it isn't, learn to make it a pleasure. Be genuinely interested in people. You can like almost everybody if you try. Be generous with praise, cautious with criticism. Be considerate with the feelings of others. There are usually three sides to a controversy, yours, the other person's, and the right one. Thought that was a good one. Be alert to serve. What counts most in life is what you do for others. Add to this a good sense of humor, a big dose of patience, a dash of humility, and you will be rewarded manifold throughout your life. Relationships. live only in relationships. The fact is we need each other. I came across an interesting story that I think helps illustrate the importance of having a relationship of touch and communication. This is a story that goes back to the 13th century and to Emperor Frederick. of the Holy Roman Empire that wasn't holy, wasn't Roman, wasn't an empire. Okay, that's from the history perspective. Any history teacher always says that when they talk about the Holy Roman Empire. Anyway, he wanted to know what was the original language of Adam and Eve? Was it Hebrew? Was it Greek? Was it Latin? Okay, he decided to isolate a few infants from the sound of the human voice. His reasoning was that if they never heard anyone speak, that they would naturally speak with the original tongue of man. Right, I get it. 13th century, right? Wet nurses were sworn to absolute silence. It was difficult for them, but they abided by the rule. The infants never heard a word. They never heard the sound of a human voice. And within a few months, they were all dead. It's an interesting anecdote from history, but I think it does illustrate how even from infancy, even from the time we draw our first breath, we live in relationship to other people. Mom, mom and dad, mom, dad, and siblings, and then throughout life, God brings a myriad of people into our lives, and we're thankful for that, but it is how God created us. He created us as social creatures. We need each other. We live in connection to other people. So I don't think I'm going out on a limb to make this statement. Relationships relating to other people is a matter of life and death. It is really that powerful. It is really that important. Without going down the rabbit trail, just an interesting thought as I was working on this is that we live in a day where there are so many technological ways for us to be connected to other people, and yet we live in a day where we are told that people are far more isolated. because any relationship they have through any kind of media is performative. They're seeking affirmation from other people. They are not really connecting with other people. It's sad to think that we've created such a technological world that is actually working against what God created us to be, and that is social creatures. So let me ask you a question. What do you want most out of life? What is most important to you? Now, obviously, knowing the Lord Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior, having eternal life because of your faith in Him, obviously, that is paramount. Obviously, that is most important of all. I think we all understand that. I think we all agree with that. But healthy relationships, make life enjoyable and fulfilling more than anything else. Even if your health isn't the best, if you have loving relationships, you can enjoy life. You can make a pile of money, but if your relationships are broken or shallow, then all the money in the world will not fill the shallowness of your life, the emptiness of your life. I think that's why Solomon said, vanity of vanity saith the preacher. All is vanity. It's empty. Everything in this world apart from our knowing God and our relating to other people properly, everything else truly never brings satisfaction. It is empty. In fact, we could say a poor man with a loving family and good friends is far richer than a rich man who is poor Relationally. The Bible ranks healthy relationships as the most important thing in life. Is that a fair statement? Well, let me remind you, and we've made reference to this often. I think in my absence recently, someone else spoke on this. Matthew chapter 22. Remember when a religious expert came to Jesus and said, which is the greatest commandment in the law? And remember what our Lord said there in Matthew 22 when He said, So our relationship to God is the most important commandment. But then he says, the second is like unto it. Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets. So what is our Lord saying? Our proper relationship to God and our proper relationships to other people covers everything. I mean, whatever else we might say. Loving God and loving others covers everything. Our relationships are that important. The Bible is all about these two important relationships. And because the Bible emphasizes healthy relationships so highly, because it has so much to say, we're not gonna be able to cover everything the Bible says about healthy relationships here this morning. But we can say that and acknowledge what is sad in the face of what God has to say about relationships, and that's simply this. We live in a world full of broken and hurting relationships. They're all around us. Perhaps even some in this room this morning might suffer or may have suffered from some of these broken relationships. Many Christian homes have been shattered through the years. Many marriages are unhappy. Many homes are tense battlegrounds. They're not places of loving refuge. Many Christian parents are at odds with their kids, and the kids are at odds with their parents. Even when we think of the church level, some people travel around leaving damaged relationships behind. I know of Christians who will not speak to other Christians. It's kind of mind boggling when you think about all that the Bible says about how we are to forgive one another. We'll say more about that momentarily. But it happens. Misunderstandings hurt feelings. It may be legitimate wrongs. but we have Christians who are like ships passing in the night with no communication. Sadly, loving families, genuine friendships, healthy relationships, that's what we know we need and want out of life, but for so many, it eludes them. And that brings us to our text. In our text, Paul gives the prescription for godly relationships. Can we have proper, godly, relationships? And the answer is yes. I mean, that is what we're commanded to do in this passage. We are to seek to inculcate into our lives the qualities, there are seven qualities that Paul lists here, and we are to seek to inculcate these seven qualities into our lives so that we can have the right kinds of relationships, whether they be between husband and wife, parents and children, believers and other believers, coworkers, Anyone in our lives, if we can grasp and make application of these seven qualities, they will affect the way that we relate to other people. Now I know, the moment we make that statement, the rebuttal is, well, I get what you're driving at here, but you know, some people are just impossible to have a good relationship with. Maybe you've got someone in mind. Well, let me just read for you what Paul says in Romans chapter 12, verse 18. He says, if it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. If it be possible, he's saying, you know, there may be some people who will not accept your overtures. That's true. But then he follows that up and says, but as much as lieth in you. In other words, I can't be responsible for the other person. But I am responsible before God for how I choose to live my life and relate to other people. And they may not respond in a way that pleases God, but I'm not responsible for their response. I'm responsible before God to do what God has told me to do. So my point is, when it comes to these kinds of relationships, there are some people that are hard to get along with. But I think we find, at least with most of these, that if we are exhibiting these characteristics, these qualities, these seven characteristics or qualities in this passage. If we are living these out, then I think we'll find most people that we may find difficult to get along with, in time, we can win our brother. We can win our sister. They will begin to respond. Now, maybe not as quickly as we would like, but they will begin to respond if we're treating them correctly, whether they reciprocate or not. And if they don't, then one day they will give an account to God. But how sad would it be for you or me to stand before the Lord one day and to give an account of our lives, you know, the wood, hay, and stubble, and to say, well, I know I didn't have a good relationship with so-and-so, but it's their fault. Do you think the Lord's gonna say, oh, yeah, he was really hard-headed, you're right, it was his fault? Or do you think the Lord's gonna say, did you love him in spite of that? Because in fact, hasn't God loved us in spite of who we are? So, even if some relationships never improve, we are to seek to have healthy relationships with those around us. It's not easy medicine to take, and again, we don't have time to get into this whole chapter, but let me just make these suggestions. It's not easy because to develop these qualities we have to, verse 5 in this chapter, kill immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, greed. There are certain things that in our fallen nature we find far too often to still be clinging to us, right? Our fallen sinful nature. And so he then goes on in verses 8 and 9 in this chapter. He says, put aside all anger and wrath and malice and slander, abuse of speech and lying. And then, He says in verse 12 and 13 that we've read, in essence, he says, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, bear one another, forgive one another. In other words, these things you need to take off just like you would take off a jacket. You just take them off. Easy to say, not always easy to do, but that's what the scripture is enjoining that we, a target at least, that we should be shooting for. Every day we should pray, Lord, help me to put off these qualities and help me to put on the proper qualities. It doesn't come easy. It doesn't come naturally. But it isn't a question of whether it's something we do naturally, it's a question of do we believe that God can help us to develop the qualities and exhibit the qualities that He says should be true of us. I can't do it myself, but can the Holy Spirit of God create these qualities? Well, just go to Galatians chapter five and we read about something called the fruit of the Spirit. And when you read the fruit of the Spirit, you know what you're gonna find? The fruit of the Spirit pretty much is what qualities we're talking about here this morning. So yes, it is a work that God does, but it is as we yield to Him and we pray that He will help us to legitimately demonstrate this kind of love to each other. So, the reason that we should do this, and this is an important point, if you don't get anything else, Please understand this point. The reason that we should put off the ungodly qualities and put on the godly qualities in terms of our relationships with other people is because God has chosen us and has chosen to love us. In other words, our relationships with those around us. Please get this point. Our relationships with others. should simply follow the pattern of God's graciously loving us. I don't deserve the love of God, neither do you. But if God chose to love me in spite of myself, and then He commands me to love you, then it's not a question of whether you deserve my love, it's a question of my obedience to what God has told me to do, that I choose to love. And remember, when we've talked about biblical love, we try to hit the point each time that biblical love is not a feeling, it is not an emotion. God doesn't command us to feel love, but he commands us to do the loving thing. That's the choice. It is a choice. It is a choice to act. It is choosing to act in a beneficial way for the other person. Not because they deserve it, not because they've earned it, In fact, in spite of what they deserve, we do the loving thing. You know, that little tidbit can revolutionize marriages, can revolutionize families. It can change the lives of believers. Because instead of being reactionary, we shouldn't be reactionary. Love is not reactionary. Love is a choice to actively do the loving thing. And I think that to encapsulate these seven qualities in this passage, that's exactly what we are commanded to do. I choose to actively, proactively do that which is beneficial to the other person, in spite of whether I think they deserve it or not. Why? Because God loves me. And in spite of the fact that I was a sinner, In that while I was yet a sinner, Romans 5, 8, God demonstrated his love through Christ dying for me. I didn't deserve it, I didn't earn it, I can never earn it or deserve it, but he simply has done the loving thing in saving my soul. Now in response, I choose to do the loving thing for the other person. And that is choosing to do what is beneficial. in spite of the question of, well, I would if they, that's not the transaction. It's not I would do good if they do good, it's I'm choosing to do good whether they respond or not. Okay? So, let's think about these very quickly. First of all, and I've already kind of hit on this thought, but let me just touch on it again very quickly. There are only two main points here. God graciously loves us. That's what we see in verse 12 at the very beginning. but put on therefore as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, and so forth. God loves us. The flow of thought is God looked upon us, saw our sinfulness, our helplessness, our hopelessness, and he sent his son to die to pay the penalty for our sins. Aren't you grateful this morning that you have standing with God, not because you are a good person, but because in spite of your not being a good person, God is good. And he has saved us and cleansed us and washed us. He did that. Think about this word holy for a moment, because I think it's important that we recognize what that word holy means. When you and I, and most people in the world hear the word holy, Well, let me ask you this. I'll put it this way. Because I think this is true of most people. Maybe it's not true of you. When you hear the word holy, do you see that as a negative or a positive? What do I mean by that? Do you see holy as, well, because I am called to be holy, I can't do any of these things? Do you see holy as I can't do these things because I'm supposed to be holy. See, that's the negative view. Because the word holy means to be set apart, unto. So the idea of holiness is not, I can no longer do these things that I enjoy doing. I have to sacrifice all the fun in life. Isn't that how most people think of, if you live a holy life, you have no fun. because you can't do any of the fun stuff. But that's the negative view. The positive view is we have been set apart unto God. Let me describe it this way. When two young people are standing, exchanging vows on their marriage day, Would either of them be happy if their bride or their groom in giving these vows was saying, from this day forward, I can no longer have fun because now I'm stuck with you and I have to be faithful to you so I can no longer enjoy life from this day forward. Would the other spouse be there going, oh, this is so great, it's so romantic. No, I think the other spouse would be saying, wait, what? What kind of vow is that? Well, that's what I think some people are doing in their minds when they say, well, God has set me apart to be holy, so I can't have fun, I can't do the fun things anymore because now I'm God's child. It's a negative. when the reality is what is happening between that new husband and wife? They're exchanging vows saying voluntarily and willingly and in love for the other person, I no longer will do these things because I am set apart unto this person. This is my wife, this is my husband. It's a positive, isn't it? I mean, isn't the whole thing of exchanging vows a positive? It is a statement of commitment to be faithful to this person and not the negative, I can't enjoy life anymore. Because that's not a relationship that's gonna last, I'll just be very frank with you. If you go into it with that kind of attitude, eventually you're gonna fall away. But if you go into it with that positive, I love my wife and I will be faithful to her for as long as we both shall live, good, bad, rich, poor, in health or no health. It is a positive commitment. And so too is our relationship to God. He has set us apart to Himself. So my relationship to God is not the negative Of I can no longer enjoy the world because now I'm set apart to God. It's the positive. I am a child of God set apart unto the creator and sustainer of all things. What a joy that I am now his. It's not a negative. We allow it to become a negative because we hear other people complaining about what you can't do if you're a Christian. Well, I'm sorry, if you are a married person, you can't go out and date other women, guys. Is that a negative? If you think it is, you and I need to talk. It's not a negative, it's a positive. And so too is our relationship with God. So this idea that we are holy and beloved, He loves us and He set us apart to Himself. So when we think about that idea, that brings us to the second main point. And the second main point is, what are the qualities then that will demonstrate that I've been set apart unto God because again I want to make sure we understand these qualities should be true of us not because I'm simply saying well I need to do this because I'm a child of God it is because I've been set apart unto Him I need to put off the things that will not help me to honor him just like a new married couple will put off things that are not conducive to building a good, strong, loving relationship, right? So I put off the things that are not going to help me to please the God who saved me, and I put on the things that I know will. And as I put these qualities on, then they have the effect of how I relate to other people. In other words, my relating to God properly will impact how I relate with other people. Does that make sense? Because that's really the key here. If I'm simply trying to follow these seven things in the strength of my own flesh, I'm going to fail. And so will you. But if I look at these seven qualities and realize that these seven qualities are what God is accomplishing in my life as He molds and shapes me into the image of Christ. Sanctification is the big word that we use. When I recognize that and I yield to Him and by His grace, I prayerfully seek to inculcate these qualities into my life, then they will enhance my relationship with Him. I'll be walking more closely with him, and as I'm relating to him properly, then I'm gonna be relating to other people properly. I hope that makes sense. So let's think about these qualities. A couple of observations. When we talk about these qualities, we are acknowledging that every believer should have the quality, but there's freedom for personality types. In other words, we're not all cookie cutters. There was a Barnabas, there was a Paul, there was a Peter. They weren't the same person, personality-wise. I think we can grant that, right? But they each would have exhibited these qualities as they walk faithfully with God. Part of God's glory is the variety of personalities that He gives us. He is working to knock off rough edges of our personalities, but He doesn't erase the differences. And I think that's a good thing. I think variety of personality is a good thing. Number two, all these qualities are modeled after Christ. He was compassionate, He was kind, He was humble, He was gentle, He was patient, He was forbearing, He's forgiving. He is our great example in how we should relate with other people. So let me share these seven with you very quickly this morning, the seven qualities. Number one, Note that he says, put on bowels of mercies. Bowels of mercies. Again, this is an idiom that you and I don't use. We don't go around saying, you know, I love you in my bowels. It's like, oh, I don't know if that's good or bad. We say heart. But if you think about it, the heart is just a muscle. What are they really saying? It kind of makes sense. If you have an emotional response of any kind, don't you kind of feel it in your core? In your bowels, if you will? And it's not just in your chest. And so they described it that way. So we say heart, they say bowels, but you get the idea. The idea here is a heart of compassion. That would put it into terms that we would know. Bowels of mercy would be a heart of compassion. And here's the thing to grasp. This is an emotional term. Now I said that we are commanded to emotionally love because love is a choice, but we have to understand that as these qualities are developed within us by the Holy Spirit of God, emotion is part of it. We're not robots. Emotion is a part of this, a heart of compassion. Being moved with compassion, that involves our feelings, not just our head. We can look and say, that person has a need, I need to help. That would be in the head, but compassion means we're actually moved. We have an emotional response when we see a need. It means being touched by the needs of people so that we respond with appropriate action. We want to help. Now, maybe we can't do everything for this person, but whatever we can, a bowel of mercy, a heart of compassion means that we reach out. Do we see this in the life of our Lord Jesus Christ? Well, it's interesting. This word is used when he told the story of the Good Samaritan. Remember the Good Samaritan? The Good Samaritan felt compassion for the wounded traveler and he was moved to help him. It's used in the prodigal son in Luke 15. The prodigal saw his son Returning to him, he felt compassion. He ran, embraced him, kissed him. He was stirred emotionally when he saw his son coming home. Jesus felt compassion in Luke 7 on the widow of Nain who had lost her only son. Jesus saw the multitudes in Matthew 9 and he felt compassion for them. We could go on and on, but this concept, this word, this idea is exhibited in the life of Christ. He was moved with compassion. And then he did something. And so too, you and I should have a heart of compassion for other people. Number two, notice he says, not only bowels of mercy, but kindness. What is kindness? Well, we've talked about this before. Kindness is a term that's I know it when I see it, right? How do you define what it is? Well, it's the idea of not being harsh, not being rough, not being bitter. The word itself is interesting. This is how I would illustrate it. Years ago, when Jan and I would go visit her mother, and her mom would always want to, you know, provide breakfast for us, and she would always have a little glass of juice. And Jan and I would look at each other, and we would look at the kids, and none of us would want to hurt Grandma's feelings because she's doing this out of love, but she lived alone. And who knows how long that juice has been sitting open, and every time when... There was a bite to the juice. Not very pleasant. And I would always, as soon as breakfast was over, I would always go out to get some beverage because, you know, we just need to make sure we have some other beverages, you know. Maybe some good juice, you know, something like that. Now, I'm not criticizing my mother-in-law. I'm simply acknowledging that we as a family came to understand what it was to drink something with a bite. Well, this word is actually used that way in the original Greek language. It is describing some kind of juice that has reached a point where it is, it has a bite, it has a bitter taste. It's not pleasant to drink. Kindness is the absence of that. Does that make sense? Kindness is when we relate to other people and we're not leaving a bad aftertaste. There's no bite to our words, to our conversation. I think that makes sense, doesn't it? Kindness. It is the opposite of being that way. We're not demanding, we're not pushing. A kind person leaves room for the other person to be imperfect. I mean, that's a very practical way of looking at it. If you're kind, you're not going to hold the other person up to a standard of perfection when you know they're going to fall short of it. you're gonna give them room to make mistakes. Kindness. We're called to have that kind of relationship with other people. Think about some acts of kindness in the scripture. Remember Joseph? Remember when you come to Genesis chapter 50 and the father of Joseph and his brothers dies? And what do the brothers say to each other? Well, you know, when Jacob, our father, was alive, Joseph, to honor dad, took care of us. But now that dad is dead, he will exact his revenge. And what did Joseph say? Scripture says he heard it, he wept, and he spoke kindly to his brothers and assured them. that He was going to take care of them. That what they had intended for evil, God intended for good, and He had no bitterness in His heart towards them. He showed them kindness. He cared for them all the days of their lives. Jesus said that God Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men in Luke 6.35. said that the kindness of God leads to repentance in Romans 2, 4. Peter said that tasting God's kindness is a motivation for us to long for the sincere milk of the word, 1 Peter 2. So kindness. We should be moved with compassion to help when we see a need. And we should be kind to others. Number three is the idea of humbleness of mind. Now, what is humbleness of mind? It's humility. Now, let me kind of nuance this for us. I've said it, and I'm sure you've said it or you've heard it be said, if you think you're humble, you're not, right? But you know, I don't know if that's really fair. First of all, Moses, Jesus, and Paul all said they were meek. So we do see, you say, well, one was Jesus. Okay, fine. Moses and Paul claim to be meek or humble is the idea in those passages. So if they claim to be humble, then is it something that we can't be aware of on some level? That's the nuance I'm trying to describe. I don't know that it's helpful to tell somebody You're supposed to be humble, but you don't know what that is because you'll never know whether you're exhibiting it or not. Then how will I ever be humble? If I have a mark I can never reach because I really can't understand it, and when I reach it and I admit that I reached it, then I'm no longer there, then it's a moving mark that I'm never going to reach. Now, I'm not saying that, you know, I can just stand up and say, I'm just the most humble person in the world, because that's kind of taking a little bit further, right? But I should have a sense of, am I choosing to live in a humble way? Humility doesn't mean that when someone pays you a compliment, you look down and say, well, you know, it really wasn't much. Humility doesn't dump on itself. So what does it mean? What is humility? Well, literally the Greek word means lowliness of mind. And so we see that. here in this passage, that it is humbleness of mind. It is lowliness of mind. The Greeks didn't see it as a virtue. I mean, this is a concept that though you can find it in Greek literature, it is never something the Greeks aspired to be. They saw it as a bad thing. It was Christianity that came along and said, you know that concept you guys criticize? Well, actually, that's what should be true of us as believers. There are three sides to humility. First, a humble person is Christ-sufficient, not self-sufficient. If you want to have a gauge, am I becoming humble? Am I at least seeking to be humble? Number one, are you Christ-sufficient or self-sufficient? A humble person consciously relies on the Lord and recognizes that God has given him all that he has. He knows in himself he is weak, but he is strong in God's strength. That's 2 Corinthians 12, the Apostle Paul, that's Philippians 4, verse 13. So, are you Christ-sufficient? Where is your dependence? Number two, a humble person has a proper evaluation of self. Paul said this back in Romans 12, 3, Paul says, you know what? Don't think that you're really something because you aren't. You're a sinner saved by grace. We have a proper self-evaluation. A humble person doesn't think he's indispensable to God's program. Does that make sense? A humble person doesn't say, well, if it wasn't for me, everything would fall apart. Well, then it deserves to fall apart if it's built on you. Because it's not about us individually. Our dependence is upon God, and I know that God could raise a rock to stand up and do far better than me. Right? God doesn't need me. I'm just grateful that God uses me and any good that is accomplished in my life is due to Him and in spite of me. So God gets the glory. Number three, a humble person esteems others more highly than himself. I like the way Paul says this in Philippians chapter two, when he says, In verses 3 and 4, ". ..let nothing be done through strife or vainglory, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others." So Paul says, don't think of yourself more highly than you should, but think of other people as better than you. Wow. That's hard to do, isn't it? Because aren't we all just a little bit guilty of looking at other people and saying, well, if he was as smart as me, well, you know, if they made better choices like I do, so easy for us to criticize other people. And here's something that's not really that much of a secret. You can always find something to criticize. If that's your spirit, if that's the way you've set your mind to look at other people and find things to be critical of, you will. but you're showing a blind eye to yourself. That's the whole point of, you know, your brother has a speck in his eye, you have a beam in your eye. Take the two by four out of your own eye before you worry about the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye. Don't think of yourself as better than others. Remember, we are absolute dependent upon him. Number four, we see the idea of meekness. Meekness is a word that really, when you take the word and you translate it into English, there is no real good English word that conveys the concept clearly. What is meekness? Well, I think for most people in the world, they think of a meek person as mild-mannered, as compliant, as the term might be, milquetoast, right? I mean, just somebody you can just push around and, you know, there's just no, there's no personality there because, you know, anybody can just come and push them wherever they want them to go and they're just gonna, because they're meek. But that's not really the idea. When we try to translate the idea, it is strength under submission. It is not the lack of strength. A meek person isn't a weak person, which is how we often think of meekness. It's not being weak. It is having strength, but it's strength under control. The classical way that we describe this is a horse. A horse in battle, a horse that is strong and powerful, a horse that has been well trained by the soldier who is riding it, so that going into battle that soldier has absolute confidence that this animal that is far stronger than him, far faster than him, that he can, with just a little bit of a lean or a little pull, he can Take that large, powerful animal and move it wherever it needs to go while the battle is being fought. That makes sense, doesn't it? Because what good would it be if you were riding a horse into battle that you couldn't control? How long are you gonna be able to fight? How effective are you going to be in your fight? But it's having that powerful animal that, in its strength, is yielded to its rider, so the rider can take it and move it in nuanced directions to fight the battle most effectively. That's really the idea. A gentle person is not self-willed. A gentle person is surrendered to God's will. It isn't that they're weak. They may have great talent and great skill and great ability, but they have yielded that to God. That's really kind of the point of all seven of these, isn't it? That here is a person who could strike out on their own and say, I don't need God, I can do it myself, but who understand that as strong as they may be, as skilled as they may be, as gifted as they may be, in lowliness of mind, They've yielded themselves to God to say, I am absolutely dependent upon Him. And I need Him to direct my steps. And I need Him to direct how I exercise the gift that He has given to me. So it's not me, it is Him. It's interesting, Plato used this word of a gentle doctor who used just enough force to set a broken bone. That kind of makes sense, doesn't it? That this doctor has to set a broken bone. Have you ever had a broken bone? Is it pleasant when they have to set it? Now, crack, that's one thing, but I mean, if it's an actual break and it needs to be reset, is that a pleasant thing? Ooh, that tickled. No, it doesn't. I had a broken arm when I was a little boy. And the doctor, when he said it, because it was right behind my wrist and it was sort of almost at a 90 degree angle, it was, you know, something I was proud of afterwards. My arm was broken, it was like this. Not so much at the time. When the doctor said it, He sat me on the corner of the bed, and he's talking to me, and what's your name, and what do you like, and he's got me, and then, he jerks my thumb to pull everything and line it up, and I was no longer talking about my favorite toy. I was, that hurt. I mean, you know, maybe a little more teary than that, but the point I'm making is, A doctor who understands that, who has the strength to do far worse, but who applies just enough strength to set the bone. And no more. That's the idea behind this word. A gentle person is strong to confront sin, but only strong enough to bring healing. Not pushing himself and forcing himself, and in a sense, exalting himself. All right, next. Notice that he is not only meek, he is long-suffering. What is long-suffering? It defines itself, doesn't it? That's one of those words, it's like, I guess you really don't have to think too hard about what long-suffering means because it means to suffer long. I am long-suffering. Or we could say it more literally, to be long-tempered. When it comes to temper, when it comes to losing our tempers, I'm not gonna ask you to raise your hand, but do any of you have a problem with being short-tempered? Is that something that is easy to do, right? I mean, somebody does something to you and, you know, I was raised in an environment where I was taught from a young age, remember I wasn't raised in a Christian home, you fight fire with fire. Those are the very words that my mother drilled into my head I don't know how many times. You fight fire with fire. What did that mean practically? That meant that if I was, sorry teachers, if I was on the playground and some kid pushed me down, I better push him down. Fire with fire. If somebody gets upset with you, you lash back out at them. I praise God for the work of the Holy Spirit. Long-tempered means somebody pushes you down and you don't feel like you have to get up and push them back down. It's not fighting fire with fire, is it? It means being tolerant of imperfections, difference and faults. The patient person gives the other person time to change and room to make mistakes. That's what patience is. It's a virtue, especially difficult if you're a perfectionist. Right? Because if you're a perfectionist, you know the way it's supposed to be done. And if people don't do it your way, they're just wrong. You know, I had a good friend many years ago that proudly proclaimed he was a perfectionist. Sorry to some of you guys, he was an engineer. Maybe that, I don't know if that's endemic to being an engineer or not. But I had to tell him one day, you know, I've come to the conclusion that somebody who claims to be a perfectionist is really saying, you all have to do it the way I want it to be done or you're wrong. Because that's pretty much the practical result of it all. It had to be done his way or it was the wrong way. Well, not necessarily. Just because he wanted it done this way doesn't mean it was wrong to do it another way, right? Now maybe building a bridge would be different because you have to have, I want my bridge builders to have a sense of perfection, all right? But in life in general, If you are a person who has forbearance, you realize that, you know, I may have a sense of the way I think things ought to be done, but I'm willing to give somebody the opportunity to not have to live up to my standard. Because it's not my standard that they're going to be judged by. They need to please God. And then lastly, the last one here. It says, forbearing one another and forgiving one another, even if any man have quarrel against any, even as Christ forgave you. So forbearance is that idea of letting people, giving them room to do it a different way, if you will. Forgiveness is the last one. And it simply means rather than holding a grudge or harboring bitterness or resentment, we forgive the one who wronged us. If you really look at these, they're all predicated on the fact that if you were to be rightly related with other people, you're going to be seeking to be related to people who are in some way gonna let you down. Because you wouldn't need patience or forbearance or forgiveness if everybody treated you well. Does that make sense? So it's acknowledging that in our relationships with other people, other people are gonna let us down. But here's how we should respond. We are to forgive just as the Lord forgave us. Now we could take the next hour and talk about that concept, but I think we get the idea, right? God forgave me even though I never deserved it. And I could never earn it. And I could never do enough. to in any way earn his saying, okay, now I'll give you a second hearing because you've done A, B, and C. He looked at me and said, you are a hopeless and helpless and filthy sinner and the wrath of God, a holy God is hanging over your head, but I love you enough that I'm going to provide a means of salvation through the Son of God, taking on human form, inculcated in human flesh, dying on the cross as your substitute, the only sinless man who ever lived, dying for your sins and paying the penalty you could never even begin to pay. That's what he did for me. That's the standard of forgiveness that I should have for other people. And when you think about that, What can anyone do to us that would not fall under that? Now, that doesn't mean that there aren't, and again, this is where we could get into this far deeper, doesn't mean there aren't consequences for people's actions, right? There are consequences, but we should still have a forgiving heart and a forgiving spirit. While compassion involves our feelings, forgiveness is a decision, and this brings us full circle. Where to have compassion, that's my emotion. I should be emotionally moved when I see somebody who has a need to do something. I have to make a choice to forgive. Feelings may follow, but forgiveness is not emotional. It is a decision. So it's not, well, I feel like I can forgive you now. The world uses feelings an awful lot, doesn't it? It's how they describe everything. Well, I just feel like that's wrong. Well, feeling is not the standard. God's word is the standard. So we choose to exercise forgiveness. So here are the seven qualities. There's much more we could say about this. In fact, there are five nouns. The first five are nouns. before you get to forbearance and forgiveness, and we could get into the grammar of that, but I tried to stick with the spirit of what Paul was saying in this passage, and it simply boils down to this. Relationships are important. We live in relationships, and relationships are a matter of life and death. We need each other. And so I enjoy Thanksgiving because it's time to be with family and friends. I'll enjoy December and the opportunities to be with family and friends. But for you and me as believers, every day is an opportunity to display the qualities and characteristics of what should be true in the life of a believer as we relate to those around us. Some who are brothers and sisters in Christ, family and friends, some who may be unsaved co-workers, but we are consistently who we ought to be in the body of Christ. And so may God help us to consider these seven qualities and make application to our own lives as necessary. May he help us to have the godly relationships that will honor him. Let's close in prayer. Father, I thank you for the opportunity we have to be here together, to think about relationships, Lord, piggybacking on the idea of Thanksgiving, anticipating time that we'll have with others, more so than normal through the month of December, leading up to Christmas day, but understanding this should be true of us every day. God, help us to exhibit these qualities, put off those qualities that are sinful and that dishonor you, and to put on those qualities that please you and demonstrate the work of the Spirit in our hearts as He enables us to become the people of God we ought to be. So bless us. We pray your blessing upon Sunday School. Dig classes now and upon our service tonight. We pray in Jesus' name, amen.