Please turn in your Bibles to Proverbs chapter 15, as we look at verses one through four. And again, let's listen to the Lord's word. A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise makes knowledge acceptable, but the mouth of fools spouts folly. The eyes of the Lord are in every place watching the evil and the good. A soothing tongue is a tree of life, but perversion in it crushes the spirit. This is the Lord's word. If you'll bow with me, let's ask for his help. Again, our Father, we do thank you for your word and thank you for the wisdom that is before us and pray that this servant will handle your word faithfully and that your people would hear and be encouraged and strengthened and that we would, again, Father, walk in wisdom the wisdom that is laid out for us here in your word. And we pray it, Father, for this end, not just that we would have peace with our neighbors, especially during a holiday season, but, Father, that we would, actually, that our words would be full of light and salt, that they would be redemptive, that they would be leading people to know you. We ask for your mercies upon this time and upon your people now. We humbly ask this in Jesus' name, amen. Where you have oxen, says one proverb, you have a mess. And where you have people, you will have tension. We're all getting ready to celebrate Thanksgiving. And it's always the notorious time of year, the holiday season, when you get around your family members who you don't see for many months at a time. And as they grow, they have their own political convictions, and they have their own ideas and worldviews, all of these sorts of things. When you consider the body of Christ as we travel this earth together, as we get to know one another's strengths and weaknesses, we will be tried by one another. We can't help but say or do certain things that at least irritate one another, and strong feelings and strong opinions develop, and ones that may infuriate one another. And so we see this dynamic during the holiday season, Again, multiple family members all under the same roof for a period of time. And what happens is tensions arise. Somebody makes a comment. They make a comment, and anger rises to the surface. Offense is given, and offense is taken. Proverbs 18.19 says this. A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city, and contentions are like the bars of a citadel. You don't want to get to that point. And if we're not careful, families are destroyed, relationships are broken, churches are split over offenses given and taken, and peace, once lost, is difficult to regain. I think that's an important point to remember. Peace, once lost, is difficult to regain. And our homes and our churches are bigger than any one of us. Psalm 133, one says, behold, how good and pleasant it is for brothers to dwell together in unity. Remember that Solomon is writing to the covenant community, and this is not Proverbs. I love the Proverbs because of the wisdom that's put forward in them. And the danger is, is that we tend to think that the Proverbs may be laying out an alternate way of salvation. If I just did all of these things, But that is in no way what Solomon is doing. He's writing to the covenant community and writing to them how they should live in light of the grace that God has bestowed upon them as a covenant people. So he writes this proverb, these proverbs to instruct the Lord's people how to speak to one another when tensions arise so as to maintain peace among the people. And it's beneficial, as we're saying, for families and husbands and wives and churches and even, I would say, library boards. As Ray so wisely pointed out, that this is a big issue right now in Fremont County, the library matter. And we have to live together. And so what's the way that we have to try to handle these things? As we look here, we look at verse 1. Solomon writes, a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. This may seem like no kidding, right? What is wrath? Wrath is, according to Bruce Waltke, anger's inner emotional heart or heat and excitement. Anger's inner emotional heat and excitement. Esau, remember, was furious with Jacob for having stolen his blessing, the blessing of the firstborn, we're told in Genesis 27, 41. So Esau bore a grudge against Jacob because of the blessing with which his father had blessed him. And Esau said to himself, Days of mourning for my father are near. Then I will kill my brother Jacob." That's wrath. That's a grudge. He's stewing on this. It is there. Wrath, then, is that deep, under-the-surface emotional heat and excitement. You might think of it like the molten rock and movement of magma. underneath the surface of a sleeping volcano. People become wrathful or are full of wrath. Sometimes it is for justifiable reasons, and sometimes it is for perceived wrongs. In regard to the library board, there have already been hurtful words that have been exchanged. And so everyone's dukes are up, and they're ready to blast away. And a sure way to lose an argument is by doing this, We have to ask ourselves, what ought to be our goal in dealing with people of wrath? How do we handle this? How do you handle the person at the dinner table who shares a different political party or allegiance or different political ideas? How do you handle the people across the aisle holding to different views on the ALA? We'll see that it's not to out-anger them, or to put them in their place or to shut them down, but to deescalate and lead them to a much better place than where they are. I want to state that again, that when you're dealing with a person of wrath, the idea is that we're not there to beat them into submission or to win an argument. It's actually to rescue them. It's to come alongside of them and lead them to greener pastures. It's to leave them in a better place. So he writes about a gentle answer. How do you defuse this ticking time bomb? Rather, what not to do is, as Solomon writes, is not to give a harsh word. A harsh word stirs up anger. If you want to make a bad situation worse, if you want to get everyone, if you want to be on the cover of the Lander Journal, Go in there and poke, no, rather go in there and smack them like a hornet's nest. That's how you make a bad situation worse. Say something harsh and bitter or sharp, something that stirs up, that escalates the situation. Vindicate your flesh and think only of yourself at that very moment. So when they say something, just say, well, who do you think you are? Or what, you want a piece of me? Or how about this? What's your problem? That's sure to win someone's affection. That's sure to win them over. This is not the way to diffuse a bomb. A person of wrath is a bomb waiting to explode. We have to think about this. A person of wrath, again, they've got all this deep emotion, the heat and intensity of this emotion beneath the surface. They've been hurt. They're steaming like Esau. They're just stewing, reliving the hurts against them, and they're ready at any time to blow up. Rather, what he says is, but a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. A word that is spoken in gentleness, it has, according to Walkie, the quality of being tender, soft, delicate in substance. It connotes a response that in both substance and style soothes and comforts and listens. I want to read that again to you because I'm not so good at this myself. The quality of being tender, soft, delicate, and substance, it connotes a response that in both substance and style soothes and comforts the listener. In case you think this is weakness, it isn't. There is great humility in such a response. And I would add that there is also great strength in this kind of response. What's our purpose? Again, Proverbs 16.32 says, he who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who captures a city. James would exhort us, saying, everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger. I notice in these city council meetings or library board meetings, we get the challenging people and saying, you don't love. You're not compassionate, right? And I think they think they're being compassionate. And so you go in there and you say things, I know you want what's best for these children, as do I. And then you start off by giving them the benefit of the doubt. And I really think that it's misplaced compassion in regard to our library board. I think there's misplaced compassion. And the idea that it's compassionate to give a child what they think they want. But I would argue as a parent, and now a grandparent, that it is not compassionate to allow your child to sit down and eat an entire bag of candy. They want it. But that's not compassionate, right? But we have to think now. We're trying to work and trying to keep some kind of peace and not stir up anger unjustly. So James, again, says, everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger. The man or the woman of wrath is at a breaking point. It does no one any good, does not bless the library board, your marriage, your family, your church family, your extended family, to smart off and let it fly. That's the deed of the flesh. That's what Christians ought not to be known for, is reacting hastily in our flesh. But rather, a calm and gentle response will turn away the wrath, which is what we want to see. There's a wonderful example given to us in 1 Samuel, chapter 25, if you would turn there. 1 Samuel chapter 25. You will know this story immediately. I'm looking at verses 10 through 13, and then we're gonna skip to verse 23 through 31. Listen to this. Remember, David has been running away from Saul. He's been hiding, running around, and he's got 400 men behind him now, and they've been taking care of Nabal. And we read in verse 10, we'll start in verse 9. When David's young men came, they spoke to Nabal according to all these words in David's name. Then they waited. Now listen to Nabal's response. And Nabal answered David's servants and said, who is David? And who is the son of Jesse? There are many servants today who are each breaking away from his master. Shall I then take my bread and my water and my meat that I have slaughtered for my shears and give it to men whose origin I do not know? So David's young men retraced their way and went back, and they came and told him according to all these words. David said to his men, each of you gird on his sword. So each man girded on his sword, and David also girded on his sword, and about 400 men went up behind David, while 200 stayed with baggage." That's it. I'm done. I'm fed up. We've looked after this guy. We've protected him from all sorts of evil things. And this is how he treats me. This is how he responds, right? I'm now going to repay him in kind. This is David's, this is David's attitude. We come to verse 23 and we read when Abigail saw David, she hurried and dismounted from her donkey and fell on her face before David and bowed herself to the ground. She fell at his feet and said, on me alone, my Lord, be the blame, and please let your maidservant speak to you and listen to the words of your maidservant. Please do not let my Lord pay attention to this worthless man, Nabal, for as his name is, so is he. Nabal is his name, and folly is with him. I, your maidservant, did not see the young men of my Lord whom you sent. Now therefore, my Lord, as the Lord lives and as your soul lives, since the Lord has restrained you from shedding blood and from avenging yourself by your own hand, now then, let your enemies and those who seek evil against my Lord be as Nabal. Now let this gift which your maidservant has brought to my Lord be given to the young men who accompany my Lord. Please forgive the transgression of your maidservant, for the Lord will certainly make for my Lord an enduring house, because my Lord is fighting the battles of the Lord, and evil will not be found in you all your days. Should anyone rise up to pursue you, to seek your life, then the life of my Lord shall be found bound in the bundle of the living with the Lord your God. But the lives of your enemies he will sling out as from the hollow of a sling. And when the Lord does for my Lord according to all the good that he has spoken concerning you and appoints you ruler over Israel, this will not cause grief or a troubled heart to my Lord, both by having shed blood without cause by my Lord having avenged himself. When the Lord deals well with my Lord, then remember your maidservant." And so who was the victor in this matter? Was it Nabal or was it David? It was Abigail. She's the victor in this matter. And notice David was ready. He was hot. He's ready to go to battle. He's ready to go kill Nabal and every male in his household. And because of her quick thinking and wise words, she brought to a wrathful, vengeful situation, she brought peace. She spoke gently, and she spoke wisely. So by her words, she diffused this time bomb. But it is more than merely the manner in which she said it. How we say things does matter, and certainly part of it. But we are called to present considerate words to the man of wrath. And so again, looking at Proverbs 15 verse two, the tongue of the wise makes knowledge acceptable, but the mouth of fools spouts folly. What are you saying to the man of wrath? Do we just blurt it out and say, well, stop being angry, right? This requires us to be thoughtful friends. When you're talking to somebody of wrath, platitudes and just quick, and I'm notorious for these kinds of things. Well, that's stupid, just don't do that. But I'm realizing that's not the way the Lord would have us talk. The tongue of the wise makes knowledge acceptable, but the mouth of fools spouts folly. Solemn is not only addressing how we speak, but the manner, the things that we actually say. It's a good answer versus a bad word, mentioning both their instruments, that of the tongue and of the mouth, and their sources, which are rooted in the character of the wise versus that of fools. What's going to come out of your mouth? The wise man adorns knowledge. He makes knowledge beautiful. He makes it desirable. Going in there with your brains and putting them on the table and reasoning with the wrathful, explaining to them methodically why something is good. This might be a reason why two minutes, a time limit to speak, is such a bad thing, because you hardly can get get the greeting out before your time is up. But this would be the goal. It would be to take and address an angry person, a wrathful person, who's dug their heels in, and you adorn the knowledge. You make the knowledge beautiful, you make the knowledge desirable. We are not seeking, remember this, we are not seeking to win an argument, but we are seeking to win the person. We're not seeking to win the argument. We're rather seeking to win the person. Waltke says this. He says, the wise have tongues controlled by loving emotions and sound thought, and so speak in a way that makes their internalized knowledge of the moral order attractive. Instead of brutalizing people with their knowledge of the cause-effect relationship in God's ordained moral order, The wise state it kindly, sensitively, and gently with an aim to save their audience, not to condemn and destroy it. Their content and then form of speech make them convincing. " It's a lovely statement. Again, the goal is not to win the argument, but to win the person, to bring them to the Lord. And the Lord will change them. And so wisdom, praying for how we talk, we speak the truth, and love, and we adorn knowledge and make it a beautiful thing for people. But the mouth of fool spouts folly. The fool misses the goal. He thinks it is to win, is to be quick, to spout off, and to speak without thought. And he reacts hastily. From his mouth gushes forth nonsense. David said of the wicked in Psalm 59.7, behold, they belch forth with their mouth. Swords are in their lips. For they say, who hears? They shoot off. And the fool ends up destroying people. He destroys his family, and he destroys the church, the covenant community. And we think to ourselves, well, what does it matter? Like the wicked, we say, well, who hears? And nobody's going to hold me responsible for these things. It just needs to be said. You just tit for tat, just knock their block off and be done with it. And that's the way the world does this. This is why, perhaps in part, why much doesn't get done in Congress, because there's a lot of this back and forth. What I say to others, be it good or hurtful, this is the attitude, doesn't affect much. But Solomon states a fact that would be good for all of us to remember. In verse three, he says, the eyes of the Lord are in every place, watching the evil and the good. And so now he takes us back beyond the mere situation we're in, and he's telling us to be circumspect, to consider this, that we're in the presence of the Lord, and we will be answering Again, the eyes of the Lord are in every place watching the evil and the good. So this idea of what does it matter, in need I care what I say, how I approach others, the answer is obviously yes. Again, friends, we are not to be living individualistically, individualistic lives, thinking about merely ourselves, how others affect my life, without also thinking about how my life affects others around me. I was thinking about this, this upcoming Thursday, we're going to have a house full of people. And I was thinking about this very thing. What do you say? You know, these are the opportunities where you're sitting down with your children and all of your grandchildren, and you have an opportunity to speak things, either good or bad. You have an idea, an opportunity to lift up the Lord. It's a big deal what we say. It's a big deal because we will answer to the Lord. We will give an account who has placed us here, not to destroy, but to bless. Jesus said in Matthew 12, 36 and 37, but I tell you that every careless word that people speak, they shall give an accounting for it in the day of judgment for by your words, you will be justified or by your words, you will be condemned. Proverb, according to Walkie, teaches that no small act of goodness is too trivial or peccadillo, too commonplace to catch his eye and earn his blessing or his condemnation. So our words matter because the Lord sees what we're saying, and we must remember that we are the Lord's representatives in all of these things. Finally, then, Solomon points out that our goal in dealing with one another is not to win an argument to prove that you are a bigger man or a more sharp-tongued woman. It is to win the individual, to lead them to a better place. And we see this then in verse 4. A soothing tongue is a tree of life, but perversion in it crushes the spirit. A soothing tongue is a tree of life, but perversion in it crushes the spirit. Soothing tongue is a good tongue. It is a wholesome tongue. It is a healing tongue. It's a tongue that brings life. It mends and it restores. It's a tree of life. If you think of it, a blessing, a picture of a flourishing tree, a tree that continues in blessing. It's like these cacti you were talking about. They thrive. They just grow. And you're clipping them because it's healthy and it's producing life. That's what these words do. Again, a soothing tongue is a tree of life. The man who is wrathful, who is bothered, who needs not only to be diffused, but restored, so that there is no breach in the relationship, but ongoing growth and fellowship. But perverse words, words that are twisted and false, destroy and fracture." This is the idea or the picture of, like in Leviticus 21, it talks about the person who has broken his foot or his hand This word is also used of the earth that is split open by an earthquake of a potter's vessel in Isaiah 30 that is broken by shattering. Here it is used metaphorically showing that perverse speech destroys the vitality and presumably of the person that you are seeking to answer the man of wrath. So I have mentioned this before, but it has stuck with me, how important our words are and how careful we should be with our words. I know a man who, when he was a little boy, was criticized by his grandfather. And his grandfather said to him, you have about as much value as a hole in the ground. And that little boy, now in his 60s, said to me, my grandfather said that and he never got over it. Just those things that we stick people with, and we hurt them, and we damage them, like a broken foot, or a broken potter's vessel, or the earthquake. They're perverse and they're destructive, quite the opposite of the very thing we want to see happen. It is entirely possible that our words, if not wise, truthful, and delivered in love, especially important for us with our children and our grandchildren, can destroy the life of another person and crush their spirit. I wish I had been more careful earlier in my life. When you are around the table this Thursday, this Thanksgiving, when you're in the library at the library board meeting, friends, be careful what you say. And I think about this because of the instructions that we're given in the scriptures about older men and older women. Oftentimes, the older people sit by and say nothing. And so I'm looking at a group of people who are older. And you have the opportunity to speak words of life. to hold up the Lord, and to encourage, and to instruct. This is a golden age. In our culture, we put old people in another room, and we say, here, drink, sip your coffee, and watch Fox News, and be done. But I would encourage you not to do that. I would encourage you to sit with your children, sit with your grandchildren, and invest in them, and use your words to be a word of life, a soothing tongue a tongue of beautiful speech, as that is a tree of life. Make sure that your words are gentle, make sure they are full of knowledge that is attractive, and bring life to all who hear. Let's pray. Thank you, Father, for this brief but timely and pertinent proverb for us. We confess, Lord, that we are a people who are becoming a people of wrath, angered by the things that we see, the woke nonsense that we hear about daily in the news, the pursuit of ungodly things. And I, for one, Lord, I know that I'm angry with these things. But Father, we pray that we would love our enemies that we would come to understand that their hearts are where they are because they are ensnared. And we pray that you would give us wisdom. We pray that this wisdom that's before us would be on our tongues this upcoming week and in the light of the events taking place in our county. We pray, Lord, that our words would be gentle, that they would be wise, and that and that we would make knowledge acceptable, that we would adorn truth and make it desirable. We pray, Lord, for our library board. We pray that you would bless those who go to speak and that they would not hurl accusations and insults, that they would reason well, and that your love would be seen in them as they speak, especially, Lord, I pray, of course, for those who are your people. We ask, Lord, that you would help us to win not only arguments, but Father, we pray that we would win souls to Jesus Christ, that they would be curious as to why we are kind and gentle. And we pray that we would be careful with these things. Likewise, we pray that as we sit around the dinner tables this upcoming week, we pray, Lord, that our words would be full of grace and truth. And we pray that you would open opportunities to speak of you and to encourage our children and grandchildren to look to you for the greatest blessings, that of life in Christ. Again, we thank you for this evening, and I now pray all of these things in Jesus' name, amen.