tonight as we we have been on the course of the last several Sunday nights. We've been looking at this idea of the fact that every Christian is a counselor. Every Christian has the responsibility, the command to offer wise and biblical counsel to other people in their lives. So we've been looking at that theme and we've talked about that as a responsibility and as a command. We've looked at different aspects of that and tonight I want to continue in that vein and really talk about the content of the counsel. Really, maybe the methodology of the counsel that we're giving to other people around us as we seek to have speech that reflects the character of Christ. It comes down to this, that the truth must be spoken, because it is the truth of God that changes people's lives, but love must govern how the truth is delivered. Because the goal, when we speak the truth, is growth, sometimes it's challenge, sometimes it's restoration, but it's definitely not humiliation. We never speak the truth towards someone in an effort to hurt them or humiliate them. We do understand that the Word of God sometimes has a cutting effect. It hurts when we have the truth because it impacts us so deeply, but we never set out with that as the motivation. We allow God to do sometimes that cutting work, but we never want to seek to humiliate. And I think the book of Ephesians tells us that speaking the truth in love is one of the main ways the church grows up into the likeness of the Lord Jesus Christ. That's what it says in Ephesians 4.15, but, "...speaking the truth in love may grow up in all things into Him who is the head, Christ." That is the point. That's what we're seeking to accomplish is that we're growing, that we're strengthening. And as I offer counsel to you that's based on the Scriptures, as you offer counsel to me that's based on the Scriptures, then we are all growing up in this together. I don't know about you guys, I think this is true of me at times and probably true of all of you, but many of us hesitate at times to speak the truth of Scripture into the lives of people because maybe we feel like, oh, it's going to cause conflict. Maybe we feel like we don't know what we ought to know and they're going to have some sort of response and we're not going to be able to handle it. But as we've talked about over the past weeks, Scripture calls every believer to teach, to admonish, to warn, to encourage, and to comfort one another with the Word of God. We need to speak the truth, but we need to speak it with love, because truth without love becomes harshness, but love expressed without truth becomes sentimentality, right? It's just, we want to make everybody feel good, and that's not our aim either. It is the growth. We must hold both of these things together. So, in that Ephesians 4.15 passage, Paul describes to us how the body grows in maturity. Growth happens when we undertake this process of speaking the truth in love. You guys have all been in settings, y'all have all experienced this I'm sure, where there's a whole lot of truth, but it doesn't have a whole lot of love attached to it. I'm sure you've been in a church that was, we're about the truth, we're about the Word of God. but we don't bring the love aspect into it. It seems like every time you encounter maybe an individual or this thing, it's like, yeah, they tell you the truth, but it's like they just beat you over the head with it. It's not offered with the spirit of love. Look, now I'm saying sometimes that's on our end, right? Somebody tells us the truth and we don't like it, so we say they're beating us up with it. No, sometimes God's beating us up with it. That's the way that happens sometimes, because sometimes we need it. We need a harsh correction. But when it comes down on our end, when we're seeking to speak these things out into the world around us, to those in our lives, whether it's here in the church, whether it's in our family, whether it's out in the community, in your workplace, whatever the case may be, the question we have to ask is, what is our motivation? Are we trying to help people? Do we have a heart of love that would seek for someone who is a believer to mature in their walk with Christ? Or do we just like to catch people in gotcha moments? We like to be the one that points out somebody else's faults because maybe it means they're not looking at us as much. The aim has to be that we're seeking to help someone grow up into the image of Christ. This isn't just a command for those who are in some measure of leadership or anything like that. It's a duty for all believers if we want to see the body of Christ be what it ought to be. We should all, as a people, and I know it's just a handful of us, but that's all right. It's so funny. You ever wonder what black hole happens from Sunday morning to Sunday night? But I'm glad y'all are here. It is a bit shocking, even this far away from Thanksgiving, that it'd be just us here tonight. But y'all can tell them it was the best message you ever heard in your entire life. And we want to keep it off of sermon audio so nobody else can hear it. But no, but this is a duty for all believers because we should all want our church to grow. We should want to grow as individuals. We should want to see other people around us to grow in maturity. I'm not talking about just in number. That can happen in a lot of ways. And it's a good thing when that happens. We've seen some of that happen here and I'm excited when we see numerical growth. But I want to see you as individuals. I want to see families. I want to see our church mature in the truth. But the way that happens is that we're consistently speaking this truth in love to one another. That's the goal. That's the goal of offering this kind of counsel. I got too many scriptures so I topped them all up. Now I can't find them in my notes. Look at Colossians 3.16. Colossians 3.16. There the text says this, it says, "...let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another." Here's the Apostle Paul writing to the church at Colossae and he's telling them the things that they need to be doing toward one another. And he gives us several things. First of all, the Word of Christ has to dwell richly in you. So, before we undertake these other things, we better make sure that it's dwelling in us. Sometimes that's a problem. We've got a lot of people that want to teach and admonish, but they don't have the Word of Christ dwelling richly in them. They're not saturated in the truth. And if you're not saturated in the truth, then whatever you're going to offer to those around you, whether you're trying to teach them or admonish them, which is like teaching, but it's got the idea of correction or even pushing forward into faithfulness there in that word admonish, then if I haven't had the Word of Christ dwelling richly in me, then guess what? When I try to teach or admonish, it's going to be my own wisdom, it's going to be halfway truth. And as the old preacher said, a halfway truth is a whole lie most of the time. We've got to be careful. Because if our lives aren't saturated by the truth, then the things that flow out of us will not be saturated with the truth. Teaching and admonishing one another, though, if we are those who are giving ourselves to the Word of God, we're hearing the Word of God taught and preached in a corporate setting, we're bringing the Word of God into our lives through reading it and studying it, through prayer, supplication. If that's where we're walking, then guess what? We all, again, we have this responsibility to each other. I have a responsibility to you, and you have a responsibility to me to teach and admonish. This isn't speaking about an office in the church of teacher, pastor, no. We are all commanded to bring the truth to bear into each other's lives as brothers and sisters in Christ. It's our command. The truth must be spoken within the life of the church. It's a picture of ordinary, everyday wisdom, advice, coexisting with those around us in the church and outside of the church. It is the reality that Scripture in the mouth of the believer is a great benefit to the other believer who's nearby them who needs to hear a word of truth from them. It boils down to this. We must take seriously our command and our responsibility to one another as brothers and sisters in Christ to speak the truth in love. But the only way we do that rightly is that the Word of God is dwelling richly in us. Let me turn you to Proverbs for a moment. Proverbs 27, 5 and 6. And let me remind you of this because we can say all this and we can say, yeah, that's right, we ought to do that and all this, but when it comes down to the fact where I've got to be taught or I've got to be, God forbid, admonished or corrected, then I don't like it near as much. So let me temper that for you with a word from Solomon in Proverbs 27, 5 and 6, open rebuke is better than love carefully concealed. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful. The Bible tells us that it is a good thing when your friend, your brother, your close loved one, When they rebuke you, that's a good thing. If the only relationships you've got in your life is relationships where all they want to do is tell you how good and great and wonderful you are, and they'll never look you in the face and tell you what an idiot you're being, you've got trouble. You've got a bunch of yes men. Brother Harold's my friend. I got a lot of preacher friends. I got friends in the church. I know a lot of people, but I'm gonna tell you something. The best relationships I got are with those people. The best friendships I got are with those people. And when I call them on the phone, I say, what do you think about this? They say, I think it's dumb and you better quit talking about it. People are gonna think you're crazy. You say, do y'all really have friends that talk to you like that? Yeah, and I talk to them that way too. Will they listen to me or not? Why? Why do we say that? Obviously, I'm pushing the edge of that a little bit, but what it comes down to is that if I'm getting over here and I'm drifting away from the truth, if Brother John pulls me outside after church one day and says, hey, you said this this morning, I don't even know if you know that, but you're flirting with heresy. I say, whoa, let me think about that just a minute. That's love. It's hard. It's difficult love, but it's love nonetheless. The wounds of a faithful friend are valuable because they're aiming at restoration. They're not aiming at hurt. They're aiming at protection. And so, we can say all this about, yeah, we've got to speak the truth in love, but we better understand that sometimes that means we're the ones on the receiving end of hearing that harsh truth in the moment where we might not receive it in the best way. And we've got to be willing to hear it. To be able to offer counsel, we've got to be willing to be counseled first of all by the Word of God and by the brethren. Truth must be spoken. The believer that would offer solid counsel has to be clear, they have to be accurate, and they have to be courageous when speaking the truth of Scripture. Clarity that honors Christ is the aim. We live in a day, an age, a time, a culture of confusion. So much so, I'll never forget one time, I was a young pastor, and we had had this big revival meeting, and all these preachers at this revival meeting, and it was all over with, and we went to the pastor's house, and we were all sitting around eating and talking, and they had something on TV, gosh, this was years ago, I don't even remember what politician happened to be on TV, but they were letting it run. in about a 20 minute speech. And we were sitting there pretty well paying attention to it, cutting up, probably making fun of whoever it was on the TV. I don't know. But I remember when that guy got done speaking, one of them turned to everybody else and said, you know what, he spoke for 20 minutes and he almost said something. That's the kind of world we live in. A world where no one speaks clearly, no one speaks definitively, no one wants to be pinned down because they're afraid that you'll think they're not on your side, or they're afraid that they'll be lumped in with this group or lumped in with that group. We must seek clarity. And the only place that clarity can truly be provided is in the unchanging Word of God, because everything else changes. Language changes even. There's words that once meant one thing and now they mean another thing, and you don't even know if I'm supposed to say that word anymore, because I might be saying something that I don't intend to say. Or I'm going to offend somebody, which that's not even that close to being on my radar, but I don't want to be inaccurate at least in the things I'm talking about. Truth must be spoken. Clarity must be desired. It's the place that we stand. It's how we express ourselves, and it's how we point people in the direction of Christ. But as we said before, love must govern the manner of speech. If I offer truth without compassion, I can crush a soul that's already weary. Somebody that comes, hat in hand, under conviction. Someone dealing with tragedy of circumstance. Someone deep in sin, but they're repentant. And they're trying to call their way out. If all we want to do is beat them over the head with the truth of, well, you're a sinner, bless God. Well, they know that already if they're repentant. Sometimes there's some people who need to hear that. You know, sometimes other people need to hear that they need to walk in the fruit of repentance. And that God has said that if you confess your sins, He's faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. People need to hear both sides of that. We need to hear, yes, sin is a problem and there is a punishment for sin, and even for the Christian, there is chastisement when we walk into sin. But they also need to hear that there is a place of hope and love and forgiveness and peace that comes through repentance and faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. So love must govern the manner of speech. Love doesn't weaken truth. It delivers truth in a way that's patient and kind and long-suffering. Look, I know that one of the great problems we have in the world is that everybody puts everything under the banner of love. You can't say that. That's unloving. Well, they're wrong. They don't understand what love actually is. We've got to dispense with that. But let it not be said of us that we're not a people who are shaped by biblical, sacrificial love. Love governs the manner of speech and Scripture shapes the conversation. Not driven by personal opinion or clever insight. It's driven by the Word of God that dwells richly within believers, as we've already talked about. of our counsel. I'm not just talking about back and forth. I think our everyday conversation, we talked about that a little this morning even in Sunday school, this idea of our speech season with salt, and I brought it up in the morning message. That salt, that seasoning salt that should be sprinkled all throughout our conversations is the Word of God. It provides preservation and help. Scripture has to shape the conversation. Even if we're not quoting Bible verses, the things that we bring out into a conversation should reflect a heart that's saturated in the Word of God. I'm going to tell you, a church where Scripture shapes conversations becomes a church where biblical counsel flows naturally among members, and it's a place where godly counsel flows out into the community from the body of believers. Biblical help and support. But I would remind you again that if you're going to be about this, offering biblical wisdom to those in your life, courage and compassion are both required. Proverbs told us the faithful wounds are a work of a friend. Avoiding a necessary correction is not kindness. If there is a correction that needs to be made, if there's a truth that needs to be spoken and you refuse to do it because whatever fear you might have, that's not kindness, that's neglect. But our compassion will keep us from being hard-hearted and overly sharp. The counselor must speak again with clarity and conviction while maintaining tenderness. "The Christian offering that kind of counsel. True counsel, I wish I'd come up with this because boy do I like it. True counsel holds, biblical counsel holds conviction in one hand and compassion in the other. And you don't turn loose of either one. That's what it looks like for us to speak. You say, well, why are you spending weeks and weeks on this? I'm spending weeks and weeks on this because I want you to understand that I know a lot of you guys know that I do a ton of counseling, but that is not necessarily what we're talking about. We're not talking about necessarily having to sit in an office and have a regular appointment and all that kind of stuff. I'm telling you that the vast majority of biblical counsel that takes place, it takes place before and after church services, it takes place in foyers and out in parking lots, it takes place in phone calls and text messages where we are offering the biblical wisdom to others in a practical way that they're able to see and put into practice in their life. And I want to encourage you to think about and be serious about what you're offering out into the world and to others in the church. Because it is the great, I think it's the great missed opportunity that we all have in our lives that we're not using because it's presented to us every day in dozens of different ways and avenues. It is the great opportunity we have. You say, well I can't be quoting Bible verses in my job, I'll get in trouble. Okay, give them biblical wisdom without quoting chapter and verse. It's not hard to do. Lord, half the good stories that you've ever read or ever seen robbed out of the Bible. That's what we're called to do. But we have to do it with compassion and courage. I would encourage you to speak the truth in love. I would encourage you to practice Scripture saturation so that you might have taken that which you would pour out. I would encourage you to confront sin both in your own life and in the life of those around you. Confront sin, but do it with gentleness. You say, well, shouldn't I be radical? Jesus told me to cut my hand off if I sin. Yeah, Jesus says be radical, but I think you can be radically gentle. You can speak the truth even to yourself when you're convicted. Run to repentance and be corrected, but you need to be gentle as you're confronting sin. Again, we don't seek to offend by our manner. If the truth offends, let it offend, but let not our manner about things be the thing that brings offense. And I would just ask that you would pray and I'm going to continue to pray that we continue to seek to build a church of holy conversation, biblical counsel offered among the brethren. Well, I think we have a lot of that that goes on, but I think there's always more that can go on. I'd encourage you to seek to have conversations with your brothers and sisters in Christ that go beyond surface matters. I pray that you'd ask deeper questions. I pray that you'd listen well to one another and be able to respond, yes, with biblical wisdom, but also with biblical action toward one another, like we talked about some this morning. A culture of holy conversation strengthens the entire body of Christ. I'll close with this tonight. A church that learns to speak the truth in love becomes a place of Safety for the wounded and accountability for the wandering. We need both of those things. Our pride will be humbled, our fear will be quieted. Yes, our sin will be exposed, but our hope will be strengthened. And in all of that, most importantly, Christ will be exalted. When we take our conversations seriously, they become instruments of God's sanctifying grace. The ministry of conversation becomes the shared work of the entire body, and I believe that's what God intends for His people. The words you say, hey look, I talk too much. I talk with the best of them. I mean, I do. I can talk about nothing for a long time. I just can't. But if I'm taking seriously the commands of Scripture, the things that I talk about at the very least, should have up the guardrails of Scripture, and at best, and hopefully more often, they are pointed at offering the truth of what God says, so that other people might hear the truth of the Gospel, so that my heart might be encouraged by others who are doing the same to me. and that people will be comforted, challenged and convicted, and that we will all together walk and be strengthened and grow up into the image of Christ. That's my prayer for myself, for you, for the church as a whole, so that we might have a greater impact on one another and a greater impact in our community and in our world for the gospel. of Jesus Christ. Let's pray. Lord, I thank You for the day You've given to us. I thank You for the folks here. And I pray that You'll use this word in their lives and in mine, that we'll take it seriously, God, that You will season our conversations with salt, the salt of Your Word. It's preserving in power, and just as salt does, it should make others thirsty for You as they hear our conversation about You. Lord, I pray that where we fall short in this, that You would convict us but Lord that you would strengthen us all by the power of your mind to speak the truth in love. We pray in Christ's name. Amen and amen. God bless y'all. Thank you for being here tonight.