We want to read through two passages of Scripture this morning, the first of which is found in Ephesians chapter 6. Ephesians chapter 6, verses 1 through 4, and then the second of which is one verse out of the Old Testament, Proverbs 22, verse 6. So let's look at Ephesians chapter 6 verses 1 through 4 first. It's found on page 1347 of the Bibles that are there in your rows. Page 1347. And the Apostle Paul tells us, children obey your parents and the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise, that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth. And you fathers do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. And then our next passage, which will be our sermon text this morning, is Proverbs 22, verse 6. Proverbs 22, verse 6, and it's found on page 750. Page 750. And in this verse, we read, train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Thus far the reading of God's holy word. Remember the grass withers and the flower falls, but God's word abides forever. Amen. Well, for the last few weeks, we've been doing a series or walking through a series where we've been taking various passages of scripture that are familiar And yet, what's familiar to us in it, when we start investigating it, we actually find out that it's familiar... It's wrong. It's familiar, but what's been said isn't correct. And interestingly enough, in Proverbs 22, verse 6, we have another one of those twisted scriptures. A passage that's been taken straight out of context. And so this morning we want to see, well, what is it that some have said? And from that then, what does the verse actually say? And consequently put it all together and go, well, what does this mean for us? This passage has been misinterpreted and also misunderstood. The basic gist of how this has been misunderstood is that, well, if you do good, you'll have a good outcome with your kids. And even if you do good and the outcome doesn't initially show itself to be good, it'll be okay because in time it will right itself or correct itself. And this verse has been used either to paralyze parents into action while kids are still in the home, just so that they'll make sure that they do all the right things and enough things so that then they can claim the promise that, well, when my child's old, he won't depart or she won't depart from what's been set. Or, on the flip side, this verse has been used as a means of providing tremendous heartbreak to parents. Because then the question becomes, well, your child didn't turn out. So, well, what did you do wrong? After all, God said, if you train up your child in the way that he should go when he's old, he won't depart. Well, if the child has depart, then what did you do wrong? And so there's this sense of pressure. There's this aspect in which you feel some who are judging you with their cheat vision, as it were, just trying to peer into your very soul in order to pry out, to bring up to the surface, all the things that you did wrong so that they might guilt you or convict you. They may ask the questions, well, what's wrong with you? How did you let this happen? What kind of job did you do? It's awful. It's awful to live under that. It's hard to deal with that sort of pressure in that issue. Wow. That must be a really important thing, huh? So as we look through this, basically we just want to go, is that really what this verse is about? And if not, how do we then approach this so that we might rightly interpret what's before us and consequently, how do we gain benefit and draw comfort accordingly? The classic approach to this verse is to say, this is a promise. Basically, people note that, hey, the promise is if you do the right things, if you say the right things, if you pursue the right course of action, then you can be certain and sure that at the end, things will be right. Those who are trained well will turn out well. Do you buy that? We've bought it quite a bit, haven't we? But that's not the purpose of a proverb. Proverbs aren't to put forward promises, they're instead to put forward instruction. The purpose of this proverb isn't simply to make sure that the church has an avenue to uphold its Sunday school programs and its VBS programs, to make sure that our kids know the Ten Commandments and pray and do so at bedtime, mealtime, and in times of emergency, or to ensure that a steady diet of the Bible comes before them, just so that way when our kids may rebel and sow their wild oats, we can be assured that God has promised He'll overcome that and things will be righted. Proverbs are set in the context of poetry. we see at the outset of the book of Proverbs that Solomon notes to us in chapter 1 verses 1 through 7 that he is simply establishing wisdom and instruction and guidance and understanding in order to set forth knowledge and a perspective so that as individuals would hear this and heed it, they in turn would be benefited as they love the Lord God with all their being and recognize Him in all things. He's ultimately noting common sense principles in one's life accordingly so that it gives general direction for godly living. The immediate proverb is found in the section of Solomon's sayings that start in chapter 10 and go all the way to the end of chapter 22. And the particular form that Solomon uses here is to note that there is a consequence of what is noted in the first part of the proverb, but because these are general guidelines or directions for godly living, then it is not a blanket promise, but consequently general common sense principles for life. Consider a few of these sayings in chapters 10 through 22 in order to see how we might be able to change what we think about Proverbs 22 verse 6. For example, start in Proverbs chapter 10 verse 27. And these have just simply been randomly chosen, but Proverbs 10, verse 27, Solomon says this, the fear of the Lord prolongs days, but the years of the wicked will be shortened. Well, if we interpret this as a promise, like we would do with chapter 22, verse six, then what this means is that anyone who fears God will live a long time, anyone who doesn't won't. What should we conclude? Anyone who reaches what? 80? 90? 100? They must fear God. But anyone who died prior to that? Sorry. And yet is that Solomon's point? Or is he instead simply noting a general principle? Go to chapter 13 verse 11. Chapter 13, verse 11, wealth gained by dishonesty will be diminished, but he who gathers by labor will increase. So if we apply the hermeneutic of Proverbs 22, what this then means is that anyone who is shady in their business dealings, they're going to be poor, but anyone who is rich, well, they must have done it right. But is that what we really believe? Is that what we ultimately think? Go immediately to chapter 22. Look at some of the other statements that are made there. For example, in chapter 22, verse four, Solomon says, by humility and the fear of the Lord are riches and honor and life. You fear the Lord, don't you? Do you feel honored? Bank account increased by a couple of zeros and not after the decimal point? Or is he giving a general principle here? Chapter 22 verse 29, and we'll conclude with this one. Do you see a man who excels in his work? He'll stand before kings, he will not stand before unknown men. So basically anyone who's blue collar, Just wait until the time comes for you to stand before the king or before a president as you do good work. But I think we understand that the point is just simply this, that one who works hard and works well will be recognized by those who are discerning people. And so as it pertains to Proverbs 22 verse 6, we don't want to nor should we look at this as some sort of promise that says it is a fact or it is the automatic truth that as long as you train a child and you do everything that is necessary and is right, then It's guaranteed, it's this dispenser as it were, where out comes that at some point when the child is older, they're with it and they're good. There's another issue with this, and that's this. There's no foolproof process for training children. doesn't exist. There's no foolproof process for training children. For example, think about the godly who are recorded through the scriptures. And yes, among the godly we see that they also have a godly seed, but did they only have a godly seed? How did all the children of Abraham turn out? Well, we think of Isaac and we go, yeah, right on. What about Ishmael? Abraham and Ishmael were both circumcised on the same day, and yet Ishmael, trained in the household of Abraham, who was identified as a friend of God, one whom God confided in regarding his activity on Sodom and Gomorrah, we see that one of his offspring ended up being godless. But according to Proverbs 22, verse 6, he would have trained up his child in the way that he went, and when he was older, he shouldn't have departed from it. Uh-oh. Isaac had two sons, Jacob and Esau. You know the rest of the story there. David had many sons. His fourth son, Adonijah, who is recorded for us in 1 Kings 1, when David was old, he wanted to be king. And so as a result, he asserts himself to ascend to the throne of David in order to be the next ruler in Israel. And the passing comment that is made by the author of that book says that part of the reason Adonijah pursued this was that he was not rebuked at any time. David, man after God's own heart, didn't rebuke his son. There's an issue there. The kings of Israel, there were some who were bad who were followed by those who were good, and there were some who were good who were followed by those who were bad. There's no pure line of faithfulness or faithlessness. We see that there is this weaving and this intermixing among the things or the lines or the generations. And the point is to encourage us to go, that there's more to Proverbs 22 verse six than to tell us, train up a child in the way he should go, and ipso facto, he's older, he won't depart. One last point, and I think this is powerful. Who would you consider to be the greatest father ever? Some of you might be thinking George Washington, the father of our country, right? Maybe you would go, well, we gotta be biblical here, right? How about Father Abraham? Had many sons. How about God the father? who identifies himself as a father in Hosea 11, verse one and two, to the nation of Israel. And he notes this, when Israel was a child, I loved him. And out of Egypt, I called my son. As they called them, so they went from them. and listen to what happened. They sacrificed to the bales and burned incense to carved images. What kind of father is that? if he would have a son, a son whom he loved, a son whom he called, a son whom he instructed, a son whom he taught, and yet this one whom he taught, he ends up seeing that this one goes after his own way and pursues his own things, even in the issue of idolatry and fornication, both physical and spiritual. If we take Proverbs 22 verse six, as is always set before us, then we would have to look at God and go, what did you do? What kind of father are you? Do you see the point? Do you see the problem? Do you see the guilt? Do you see the struggle that occurs when we start looking at this verse in the manner that it's been set before us as some sort of promise or guarantee that we somehow or another just have to follow or do the right things. And as long as we make sure that they've been instructed and that they've been taught and that we've done this and done that and had them at church and made sure that they were there every time the door was open, It's secure that consequently, it's all gonna work out. So what's the point? Well, the point is training. And the point is that there is a consequence to training. But it's not as it's been set before us. And noting this call to train, it basically is calling us to have regard or thought for our offspring. In terms of talking about our children, it's not minimized to simply up to a certain age, but it really is noting as a child is under the roof of his or her parents. Because this word is used for newborns, it's used for children who are weaned, it's used for preteens and teens, and even those who are getting ready to go off and be married. And the age varies from birth to 4 to 12 or 13 to 17, even upwards of 40 years of age. But it has this idea that there is an interaction and an engagement that ought to happen as we come alongside of our children. And that engagement and interaction is simply that we ought to take the time to cultivate learning in them. The idea to train is used only in this instance as it relates to instruction, but three other times in the Bible, it's used alongside of dedicating a building, whether it was a house or a temple. The root of this word speaks of a nursing child who has a midwife that would come along and dip its finger in a bowl of crushed dates in order to stimulate the taste of the child through that interaction. Solomon isn't saying, let go and let God as it pertains to your children. He is instructing us and guiding us to note that there is to be engagement with those who are in our house, that we are called to teach them and to train them. But here's the interesting thing. It's this phrase, in the way he should go. You wanna find a variety of opinions, look up that. Two basic thoughts seem to be present for this. The way of the child and the way of God. Not the way of the child as in you just let go and show indifference towards your little one or the one who has been entrusted to you so that you just simply allow them to run their course however they want to. But instead, it's engaging your son or your daughter according to their bent, their interest, their desires, their gifts. This is a powerful thing that's been set before us. It's powerful for a few reasons. Number one, it means parents, you don't know it all. Now, those of you who are older parents, you're like, well, I know that. After all, my child tells me almost every day, you don't know what you're talking about, mom. But number two is you have your second or your third child, you realize that as well. But the bigger thing here is that as you deal with your child, your child is not some blank slate that is soft and pliable and ready to be molded into your perspective. One author brought this out. They noted instead that your little one, even at birth, has already been given certain capacities, certain abilities, certain perceptions that need to then be learned and discovered so that in turn, as you would teach and train that one, you would do so according to where they are. This is where this is powerful because it speaks to a whole nother level of what the psalmist notes in Psalm 139 when he says that we are fearfully and wonderfully made and that God even notes our inward parts. In other words, when God has made us from birth, he's already equipped us with powers and abilities, with traits and characteristics. Those things that manifest early on, whether it's the thought of being creative versus being a perfectionist, whether it's being athletic and coordinated or being quick on your feet and able to think clearly and well, whether it's being slow in terms of your approach or how aggressive you are or how assertive you are, all of those traits are already there. And Solomon here is noting that as you discover those and as you learn those, then when you teach that little one, do so in accord with who they are and how they think through things. He's not minimizing or denying the call in Deuteronomy 6 to teach or to train. He's not neglecting the idea that training must occur in morning, noon, and night, and wherever we are, and whatever's happening, whatever we're going through, to use any and every and all occasions to bring God and the Lord Jesus Christ before our little ones. But he's saying, don't take a one-size-fits-all approach. The ones who are instructed more by means of pictures and those types of helps, give consideration. Those who do better by means of books and learning, you give consideration that way. Those who are more inclined towards music and the arts, utilize that too. And consequently, Solomon then is saying that the consequence is that as you effectively teach and train your little one in accordance to their skills and talents and abilities, it'll be effective. It'll be useful. It will stick. Think about times in your own life when a teacher had a tremendous impact. Why was it? It was because they got you. It was because they knew how to connect with you. They were able to explain things in such a way that you went, now it all makes sense. No one else could ever put this before me in a way that I can understand. But this teacher did. Solomon's encouraging parents in a similar manner. Now, Can this apply spiritually? Yes. We don't want to somehow say that this doesn't have any spiritual bearing or any spiritual connotation at all. It does. It does because we know that God has promised that his word will not return void. We know that it has spiritual bearing because God will ultimately utilize his word and it will have an effect But that effect does not necessarily mean that it always is for a good outcome. Sometimes that effect means that God allows that word to remain unto the very end and it's present in such a way that it is always reminding, always convicting, always pricking the conscience of that one. And it does prove the point that even as that one has gotten older, that instruction will have never left, but always be present. And consequently, it means that you as a parent were effective. because the effect isn't the outcome of the child, but the faithfulness that you took upon yourself to lead them in accordance with the vows that you made at baptism, that you would pray with and for them, and that you would show them Christ and teach them God's word. So what are some things then that we ought to reflect on here. What is this passage calling us to? The first is simply that children are a sacred trust from God. If God notes that training of a child is of such importance that he says that it will have an impact in their life, then it means that there is a sacred trust that God has given to us as he's allowed one who's created in his image to be in our homes and to be under our oversight and our care. And so we must give careful thought as to how we train them, as to how we engage with them, as to how we might show cherishing and loving and encouragement through the various things that we speak and how we live. Our New Testament text was quite clear when Paul tells us to bring our children up in the fear and admonition of the Lord. Admonition simply means teaching. Fear means that they recognize and understand who God is. In other words, that we are to teach our children about God, and that teaching isn't to simply go, well, God's there, yep, I recognize that, but I understand who he is, and consequently, I have a healthy respect and love, and I want to honor and obey him in all that I do. Children are a sacred trust that we then are called to teach. And yet in teaching them, we must mold and shape not according to how we want to make that, how we want that child to become, but ultimately as to the interest, desires, and intent of the child. In other words, if our children don't have interest in finance, but we come from a long line of financiers, it would be wrong to force that little one to follow that path. If you're in a household of pastors, generation after generation after generation, and simply because you wanna keep that line, you then burden or pressure your child to enter into the ministry, that's violating what Solomon is saying here. We train, we instruct, we serve as God has equipped that little one in their gifts and talents. And it means then that we ought to see and figure out ways how we might be able to cultivate and enhance and develop those gifts. Think about what a benefit it would be for the church. How often is the question asked, what are your spiritual gifts? I don't know. How often is it brought before us? How is it that you might be able to serve the church? I don't know. Think about how you as families might be able to overcome that concern or that challenge if you understand how that one has been equipped and consequently you begin to cultivate it as you care for them in your home, as you bring them to the church, as you encourage them towards involvement in terms of service and participation so that even at the age of six or eight or 10, they might be able to then pursue the ways that God has equipped them. And consider how that is a benefit to your brothers and sisters in Christ. Noting that if God would keep them within his church, what a tremendous fruit would be produced because as they mature and are older, it's there. But it also means that in terms of that work, that work of teaching cannot be by means of coercion, but rather by means of inspiration. One author noted that as you engage your little ones, you can't do so simply forcing them into certain things, but rather allow that development to pursue. It also means that there is an aspect of correction that occurs in training. And yet this correction is not by means of force or abuse or fear. but it is through love, concern, and thoughtfulness for them. We listen to the scriptures which notes that there is the call for the use of the rod. And yet by use of the rod, it isn't simply being set by means of scaring the child, but showing authority before that little one by means of the scepter of the king. It also shows the aspect of protection as the shepherd carries his rod before his sheep. It is used as a tool. for correction. Listen to the way in which the Lord notes His own correction for us, His children, in Hebrews chapter 12. Hebrews chapter 12 verse 5 and 6, we read this, And then he notes in verse 11, no chastening seems to be joyful for the present but painful, nevertheless afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. Think about that call in light of train up a child in the way that he should go and when he is old, he won't depart. And yet the chastening of the Lord is not meant to discourage. but to reveal love to bear fruit. And so training involves correction, but it's a correction that seeks to nurture in order to do so in a loving manner so that good fruit is produced in the recipient. Lastly, in terms of this, we must remember the work of the Holy Spirit. Training of our little ones is not simply for outward behavior. It's not even simply to deal with the mindset, although that's getting closer. It's ultimately to deal with their hearts. It's instructing them to get to the core of their being. It's correcting them to get to the core of their being. It's leading them to get to the core of their being. It's walking with them in order to get to the very essence of who they are, setting God's word before them, praying constantly before them, praying with them, so that God through all of these means, oh no, God through all of these means, might effectively draw them to himself as he engages in their heart. To deal with hearts means that we at times have to sacrifice time, sacrifice energy, sacrifice comforts, It means that we do not want to seek to set before our kids legalistic standards that they simply follow outwardly but have no sense of connection or interest or encouragement from. Addressing their heart ultimately means that we are bringing our kids to Christ constantly. so that as they would hear Him, they would know Him. And as they would know Him, they would love Him. I also want to say a word to parents who are looking at their situations and noting that they have kids who they've trained, they've instructed, and they don't know what's going to happen with their child. The first one is, Don't beat yourself up over a bad interpretation of scripture. You acted in what you thought was right at the time and in the way that you did. You did what you thought was honoring to God in order to bring his word before this one. And this one has grown and they've come to their own thinking and their own perspective. And you need to stop taking responsibility for how they are thinking now. Number two, you don't know the future. As much as you hurt right now, as much as you want to see things different, as much as you want to see things change, as much as you want to see things be in a manner where you have a restored relationship, that's not what God has given you now. But you don't know what he's going to do in the future. And number three, that as long as we are on this side of heaven, we never lose sight of hope. Because we have the story of the prodigal, who ultimately did leave, and he did run away, and he did abandon, but at the right time and in the right manner, at the right aspect of humility, he came to his senses, he remembered what was set before him, he left the pig pen, he ran home, and he was received. God knows exactly what he's doing for your child and for you, and he will bring that to fruition in the very end. And so cling to that, but not by means of guilt that you somehow did wrong or could have done better, because even the perfect parent still isn't perfect. And in all of this, no matter what phase or stage we are at, no matter our own circumstance or situation as it pertains to training children and thinking about how we engage them and recognizing what happens at the end, it all comes back to the Lord Jesus Christ. How so? The only reason that we can lead our children is because of Him. For without Him, we would be haters of God and disdainers of individuals. Only through the Lord Jesus Christ, who submitted Himself as the Son, who yielded Himself to the training of His Father, who submitted Himself to the humiliation of the cross, Do we then find that He then, through His work, brings about a tremendous fruit in all those who look to Him and are saved? And because of His faithfulness, and because of His obedience, and because of His love for His Father, and His heeding to what the Father said, then all those who are joined to Him will not be cast into utter darkness or be departed into misery, but will be joined with Him in praise to the Father." And so consequently, we train, and we lead, and we encourage, because we believe that Christ will make it effective through His Spirit in the hearts and lives of our youth. May God equip us with confidence, may he overcome any wrong thinking from the past, and may he strengthen us then to go forward, to think about the context in which we live, seeking his will in all things, and encouraging our little ones accordingly, understanding that God will use it in his way, for his purposes, and the lives of the next generation. Let's pray. Our Father in heaven, We pray that you would so encourage us, that you would so instruct us, that you would overcome the occasions of fear and doubt, that you would also overcome the worry that may be present in light of this task that is before us in leading our offspring. May you be praised by our work. May you encourage us in that which we do. May we not lose heart or give up. May you assure us that there is still time and occasion to correct where we have been wrong. And may you allow that work to bear much fruit in all, even as we pray saying, our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.