We have, thus far, in our study on biblical manhood and womanhood, started back at the beginning, if you remember a couple months ago, back in Genesis, the fact that God created man, He created woman. Then we looked at the effects of the fall and how it affected not just Adam and Eve, but how it affected all of their posterity. That's us, right? We also looked at biblical masculinity and biblical femininity. And now it's time to take what we've learned from scripture and apply it into different context. And so where we're going with this is today and probably next week as well, we're going to look at specifically applying biblical manhood and womanhood in the home. Then, Lord willing, probably in about two weeks, we'll look at applying biblical manhood and womanhood in the church. What does that look like? Then we'll look at it in society. And so today, we will look at it from the context of applying it in the home. And we'll be looking at Ephesians 5. So if you have your Bibles, turn to Ephesians 5. We'll be looking at verses 22 through 33. Certainly, if somebody were to come to you and say, hey, how do I know how to be a Christian husband? Or how do I know how to be a Christian wife? This would probably be one of the texts that you point them to. And so, let's open our ears to the reading of God's Word this morning as we hear it, as we learn from it. Ephesians 5 verse 22. Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its savior. Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her. having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot, without wrinkle, or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh but nourishes and cherishes it just as Christ does the church because we are members of his body. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound and I'm saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself and let the wife see that she respects her husband." When looking at this text, there's at least three objections that we're actually going to start with that has been raised by secular feminists, but unfortunately, also evangelical feminists. The first, they will say, is that Ephesians 5, and this is on your handout, Ephesians 5 is a temporary injunction. The common rhetoric is this, goes like this, well, yeah, that was fine for them back then, but this is the 21st century. We really have to talk about male headship and female submission. Well, Vodie Bauckham writes in response to that, while it's true that many things in the Bible are difficult to apply because of their cultural setting and nuances so foreign to us, it's a stretch to apply that to Ephesians 5 without, in essence, agreeing that any and all moral teaching in the New Testament is culturally tainted. and therefore open to whatever radical reinterpretation happens to fit our modern fancy. That's true. What he's saying is that if you're going to throw Ephesians 5 out, you have to consider everything that's taught in the New Testament, all the moral teaching, right, as being culturally relevant. And therefore, it's saying that God's Word is fluid, that it's changing. What would our response be to that? Does God's Word change? Why does God's Word not change? Because He doesn't change. Right. So it's that wonderful characteristic of God called His immutability saying that, I am God. I, therefore, do not change. There's no shadow of change with thee, right? So if God doesn't change, His Word doesn't change, and though there'd be difficult things to hear in Scripture, We as believers need to receive it as God's holy infallible word for us. Well, the second objection is this, that male headship is a result of the curse. Male headship is a result of the curse. And therefore, it's no longer applicable to believers. We've looked in our study thus far, but it's important to note again here in this context that male headship was established before the fall. And so male headship cannot be a result of the curse from the fall. Actually, what results from the curse of the fall is that women will want to leave their homes, right, and have a desire, as it puts in Genesis, to rule over the husband. One author explains, if male headship is a product of the curse, then that can be done away with in Christ, and so too should pain in childbearing, right? For Christian women, along with thorns and thistles and arduous work for men, the woman's desire is to be rid of male headship, but there's no way out. It's part of God's created order, and no amount of tortured logic will change that. So, it's actually not male headship that results from the curse, it's that the female will want to rule over the man. That's the actual curse. Well, the third objection is that in Ephesians 5.21 calls for mutual submission. Let me go back and read that. That was the verse before we started today. So, Ephesians 5.21, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. So they take this to mean that we submit to one another. The wife submits to the husband, the husband submits to the wife, we're all in submission to one another. There is a place, and we're going to talk about submission, where in a sense we are to all submit, but we're not submitting to one another per se, we're submitting to the Lord. The husband does not submit to the wife. This context in Ephesians 521 is really more of an introductory statement to what will follow in looking at biblical submission in three contexts. One, what we'll go through today is wives to husbands. Secondly, we see the submission of children to parents in Ephesians 6, 1 through 4. And then we'll also see the submission as you go further in Ephesians, verses 5 through 9 of chapter 6, slaves to masters. Well, these feminists and the objections or positions they hold is not really new. If you think about it, male headship was at the very center of the spiritual battle that resulted in the fall of man. Way back in Genesis 3, Piper and Gruden explained, we think that Satan's main target was not Eve's peculiar gullibility if she had one, but rather Adam's headship. as the one ordained by God to be responsible for the life of the garden. Satan's, listen to this, Satan's subtlety is that he knew the created order God had ordained for the good of the family and he deliberately defied it by ignoring the man and taking up his dealings with the woman. Satan put her in the position of spokesman, leader, and defender. And at that moment, both the man and woman slipped from their innocence and let themselves be drawn into a pattern of relating that to this day has proved destructive. What is that saying? Satan not only chose to attack the family first, but he chose to attack really the created order of male headship and female submission. So these are the common objections, at least three that we've looked at today to this passage in Ephesians 5. But what can we learn from it? What can we learn from this passage? Well, there's at least four observations that we can make in looking at Ephesians 5, 22 through 33 as it relates to biblical manhood and womanhood in the home. The first is that wives are called to submit to their own husbands as to the Lord in verse 22. So let's talk about submission in general before looking at specifically the wife's submission to the husband. To submit, let me say this first, to submit does not denote an inferior position. For we know that both men and women are created in the image of God and we're equal in His sight. We're equal, we're just distinctive, right? We have different roles and different callings, but we're equal. James 4, 7 says, submit yourselves therefore to God, resist the devil and he will flee from you. What's the idea there? It's that men and women alike will submit to a holy God. But we also need to know that men and women are not just to submit to God, but they're also supposed to submit to the leadership of the church, the God-ordained leadership of the church. It's written in Hebrews 13, 17, obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls as those who will have to give an account. Now, in this very room here in another hour, you will see new members publicly received by the congregation. And they, as you at one time when you became a member of the church, were asked five membership vows. One of those vows is, do you submit, there's that word again, do you submit yourselves to the government and discipline of the church and promise to study its purity and peace? So, the idea is that there's a structure that the Lord has ordained in the life of the church. And so, both men and women are to fall under that authority structure and not just be in submission to the leadership of the church, but really be praying. The elders need your prayers as they guard the souls of the congregation. But specifically in the context of the home. We see in Ephesians 5.22 that it's the woman who is to submit. Tim Whitmer writes, the wife's respect of her husband's leadership is not an expression of inferiority but an acknowledgment of submission to God's plan for the family. It's a grave error for a husband to misconstrue his place of leadership as a position of superiority. What does that mean? Well, it ultimately means that while women are to submit to men and men are to be heads of their homes and given the authority to do so, men should not see it as their place to be in a superior position because that is false. We are not superior. We instead should be servant leaders in our homes to our wives and children. But notice that in verse 22, it doesn't just say, submit. It says, submit as unto the Lord. In other words, women, you, as you live in humble submission to the Lord, are also to live in submission to your husband. Matt Merker writes, part of a woman's obedience to Christ is to follow his instruction, to submit to the earthly authorities he has ordained, and in the family, that authority is the husband. And the same phrase, as to the Lord, implies that the wife's first allegiance is to Jesus Christ. And therefore, Paul does not say in any way to expect her to submit to her husband if there's anything that he's asking her to do that violates Scripture. Well, there are some women that don't like the word submission. It's not a popular word, right? One new Christian woman who was newly married wrote in a forum that I was reading this week, what does the Bible really mean when it says wives should submit to their husbands? I'm a capable independent woman who's also a new Christian and I don't like the idea. Some people at my church even say that it's no longer relevant. Now, let's just say you're meeting with this lady over lunch and she asks you that question. How would you answer that? What would you say to her? What's that? Find another church that's saying that teaching is no longer relevant. That's true. That could be true. Right. So that's important, right? Being in a church where your elders are telling you to do what the Bible tells you to do. What else is not relevant, right? So if you're going to throw this out, what else is not relevant? Yeah. Yeah. So part of it, you know, and this is a whole idea even in a teaching through biblical manhood and womanhood. It's not me saying this. It's God, you know, and so as we study His Word and as we look at His Word, there's parts of the Word that have been offensive to us at times, right? And as we grow in our sanctification, it becomes more palpable. We can understand it more and we see how the covenantal thread fits together between the old and the new. It begins to make more sense. So, yes, we may not like certain things at times as we come across them in God's Word, but it is God's Word. When a wife submits to her husband, she does not try to take leadership from him. So really, in exercising submission, the woman is saying, I understand, God, how you created order in the home. And I understand that my husband is the leader, and I need to pray for him. He's the head of this home. And I understand that I should submit. But from the beginning of time, the woman has tried to take leadership from the man. And unfortunately, men often gladly give it away. Even in Genesis 3, we see this. Women may use tactics to try taking control away from the husband, including nagging. manipulation, or even deception. This, of course, is sinful and it results in sorrowful consequences. And when a woman resorts to these tactics, she's ultimately trying to usurp God's given roles and design in the marriage. If a woman is to practice biblical submission, she must first learn to trust God's goodness and His sovereignty. However, a submissive wife, let me say this, is not relegated to idly sitting by while her husband makes all the decisions. That is not at all what scripture teaches. In a healthy marriage, both husband and wife work together as a team. When a decision cannot be jointly agreed upon, the husband will often make that decision knowing he's responsible for it And in these cases, a submissive wife will often offer wise counsel. Men, not if you know this, that sometimes your wife has a different perspective than you, right? That's very helpful in making important decisions. Biblical submission does not mean passivity, and it certainly does not mean muteness. You know, we saw in our study last week in Proverbs 31 how a woman will have gracious and wise speech and will use it to bless others, including her husband and family. Part of having wise speech is knowing when to speak, how to speak, being careful to speak in a way that shows respect for her husband's God-given position as head of the family. Well, certainly a wife is to submit to her husband for this is God's will within the context of marriage. There may be times when a wife is asked by her husband to sin. In this case, it's important that a wife first submits to Christ. John Piper puts it this way, even when a Christian wife may have to stand with Christ, against the sinful will of her husband, she can still have a spirit of submission. She can show that by her attitude and action that she does not like resisting his will and that she longs for him to forsake his sin and to lead in righteousness so that her disposition to honor him as her head can again produce harmony. That's good. So as we look at, before we move on to the second observation from this text, how can we practically, and I'll address it to the women first, how can you as a wife practically submit to your husband? What does that look like on a Monday or on a Tuesday, just in the context of the home during the week? What does that practically look like? Yeah. Yeah. So coming to him with concerns and questions and things to think through. sometimes, let me say this because I can speak to my own gender here, sometimes we as men can be thick-headed and so you think we're perceiving concerns that you may have and we're really not. We may be ignorant of those things. So it is important in the context of a home and marriage for a wife to come to a husband and bring his attention to certain things and concerns. Any other ideas? We'll pray through it, right? And pray as we go through today, even as we receive Ephesians 5 with humility and meekness, all of us, men and women, think about how we can practically apply this particular text in the life of our homes. Well, that leads us to the second observation. The husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. We see that in verse 23. Now, the Catholic Church believes who is the head of the church? The Pope, right? We as evangelicals believe that's wrong, right? That we believe that Christ is the head of the church. Where am I going with this? Well, anybody that says anybody other than the man is the head of the home has an incorrect view of Scripture. It is the man who has the God-ordained role of leader and head of the home. It's not because men are better. Let me just say that. It's simply because we've been given the authority to lead by God's design. So, we have to look at then, the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. How did Christ then serve the church? Well, by leading through humility, through love, and ultimately through sacrifice. In this manner, this is how the husband is to be the head of the wife, through loving, humble sacrifice. Kent Hughes writes, rather poignantly, marriage is a call to die to self, and a man who does not die for his wife does not even come close to the love to which he's been called. That's something to think about. Just as the church follows Christ because it's its duty to do so, so the wife must follow the husband. But as husbands, how much easier is it for you to have your wife follow if you have proven yourself trustworthy to be followed? Thirdly, husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church, verse 25. And you'll hear this a lot, love your wife as Christ loved the church, but they leave out the second part of that, and gave himself for her. So the loving resulted in a giving. The loving resulted in a giving. The love for the church led to the sacrifice, and so it should be in the home. The love the husband has for his wife should lead to sacrifice for her. Let's look at this as husbands are to do this, and we will do it imperfectly for sure. But let's study, how did Christ specifically love the church? What did that actually look like? So we understand it better in the context of how we should love our wives and our homes. First of all, Christ's love is unconditional. That means not conditional. It's unconditional. He didn't love the church because people loved Him, right? We saw that in Romans 5, 8, that God showed His love for us and that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. We not only didn't love God, we had a...frankly, we were at enmity with God. The speech there would denote that we almost have a disdain for God through our sin. And yet, God loved us. Christ loved the church. In like manner, our love for our wives is not conditional, hear this man, it's not conditional on our wives fulfilling their roles. or even how they treat us. No, our love for them remains steadfast, unwavering, no matter what. Basically, man, if you feel like your wife doesn't love you, well, that in no way abdicates your role to love her. Does it make it harder? Yes, but our calling as men cannot be conditional on our wife's response. In other words, men, the love you have for your wife cannot be based on circumstances or reactions or anything. It's to be steadfast, unwavering, growing, in fact, year by year. C.S. Lewis explains further, love is not merely a feeling, it is a deep unity. maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit, reinforced by, in Christian marriages, the grace which both partners ask and receive from God. They can have this love, listen, for each other even at moments when they don't like each other, as you love yourself even when you do not like yourself. Men, how do we do this practically? How do you love your wife unconditionally? Well, certainly by remembering the one who's loved you unconditionally. And remember, even in the context of the home, as men, speaking to the men here, you may feel like your wife sins against you at times, and she will, but she'll never sin against you more than you will sin against God. And He has loved you with an everlasting love that is not conditional. So let us, men, having been reminded of our heavenly Father's unconditional love for us, let us pray that He will produce that in us. Well, Christ's love is not only unconditional, but it's also sacrificial. It's sacrificial. Notice, men, we don't just love our wives, but this leads us to being willing to sacrifice for her. How did Christ sacrifice for the church? Well, he, of course, was the ultimate sacrifice, giving his own life for the elect. Jesus said, I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep, John 10, 11. If we are truly sacrificial, it means that we are looking more to the needs of others than our own needs. It means that our wife's needs are more important than our own. It means that what matters to her should matter to us. It means that we have, maybe for a season, put our hobbies aside so that we can concentrate more fully on the needs and desires of the family. And I will say to us as men that we drop the ball on this, don't we? We come home and we're tired and we're worn out and we don't want to give anymore, we want to get. And yet scripture says, no, we're to give, we're to sacrifice. George Gilder writes this, the mother is still expected to maintain an aesthetically pleasing home for child and husband, to prepare the best meals, to maintain social connections, to continue her own private education and development. There's no question at all that too many husbands have neglected their own role in this process. And so, Scripture turns this upside down, calling the husband to lead sacrificially and model for the children what it looks like to serve others. So, men, as I ask myself, I'm going to ask you, think about this, would your wife say that you are a model of service? What would your children say to that? Well, Christ's love was not only unconditional and sacrificial, but he was also concerned with the holiness of the church. Look with me again in Ephesians 5, 26 through 27, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word so that he might present the church to himself in splendor without spot or wrinkle or any such thing that she might be holy and without blemish. So we have here a picture in Ephesians 5, the husband leading, the wife submitting. The husband's leadership ultimately leads to sacrifice, the fruit of which is that the woman is more sanctified. So just as Jesus gave himself for the church that it might be sanctified, so husbands, are to lead their wives in such ways that they would be more sanctified. The purpose then, men, of your selfless service has this goal in mind. Kent Hughes writes, the man who sanctifies his wife understands that this is his divinely ordained responsibility. That's a powerful statement. But then he goes on to ask these questions and it's what we should ask ourselves. Is my wife more like Christ? Is my wife more like Christ because she's married to me? Or is she like Christ in spite of me? Has she shrunk from his likeness because of me? Do I sanctify her or hold her back? Is she a better woman because she is married to me? These are questions that we need to ask from time to time as we lovingly lead and sacrifice our lives, pointing them to the gospel. And women know us all too well, don't they? They have these radars, these instinctive radars that learn quickly whether a husband is leading them spiritually or whether he is failing them and holding her back spiritually. Listen to this powerful quote from an early church father, Chris Austin. Do you wish that your wife would submit to you as the church does to Christ? Then care for her as Christ does for the church. And if necessary, that you should give your life for her or be cut into pieces a thousand times. or endure anything whatsoever, then refuse it not." Listen, yes, for if you were to suffer in these dreadful ways for your wife, you still would not have done what Christ did for you. For you did this for one with whom you were already united, but he did it for her who until then had only rejected and hated him. So, the idea is loving, sacrificial leadership that's pointing to the cross, helps her grow in her faith. Well, the fourth observation we can make quickly from this passage in Ephesians 5 is that marriage speaks to the entire world about Christ's relationship with His church. The relationship between Christ and His bride, the church, is best depicted, earthly that is, in the marital bonds between man and woman. Notice in Ephesians 5.31, which also notice that it's a quote from Genesis 2.24, therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. But then he goes further in verse 32, this mystery is profound and I'm saying that it refers to Christ and the church. You know, the temptation for us as human beings on this earth is we think about everything in the temporal, right, not the eternal. And so, Paul's bringing us back here and saying, I'm not just talking about man and woman uniting and becoming one flesh, but I'm also talking about that picture ultimately pointing to the unity and the relationship that Christ has with his church. John Piper writes, the union of man and woman in marriage is a mystery because it conceals, as in a parable, a truth about Christ and the church. The divine reality hidden in the metaphor of marriage is that God ordained a permanent union between his son and the church. Human marriage is the earthly image of this divine plan. As God willed for Christ and the church to become one body, he also willed for marriage to reflect this pattern that the husband and wife become one flesh. It's no accident that human marriage provides language even to explain Christ's relation to the church. Jeffrey Bromley says, and he's right when he says, as God made man in his own image, so he made earthly marriage in the image of his own eternal marriage with his people. Let me say that again. As God made man in his own image, so he made earthly marriage in the image of his own eternal marriage with his people. So what do we do with this today? Well, let's pray. We're gonna close out our time and pray, but let's pray individually. And I don't want you to become discouraged about this, but just pray as you look at the context of Ephesians 5 in your own homes. Wives, are you submitting? Husbands, are you loving? As Christ loved the church, even to the point of sacrifice, are you sacrificing for her daily? And is that love and that sacrifice ultimately showing her and showing others around you how strong that bond is and how important that bond is? as it reflects the relationship between Christ and His church. Let's pray. God in heaven, we thank You for Your Word. And we thank You, Lord, that it is true, it is without error. And some things are difficult to read at times, but we thank You for Your Holy Spirit, who not only helps us to understand the Word of God, but also helps us to apply it. And so, Father, would you meet us in our time of need, each one according to our own specific need in the context of our own homes and lives? Would you help us to take my feeble words today and your powerful words from your holy word, Father, and would you cause it to change us? Would you help us as men to lovingly lead our wives and sacrifice for them and ultimately pointing them to Christ? And would you help women in their God-ordained role to lovingly submit to us as they respect ultimately and submit ultimately to you, their Heavenly Father? Thank you for this day that you have made, Father. Help us to rejoice and be glad in it and be thankful for all that you've done for us. We pray in Jesus' name. Amen.