Reed, would you please join me in seeking the Lord's blessing and prayer? Lord Jesus, we ask that you would teach us what is your will in our marriage, that we would be able to understand what you, by your spirit, led the Apostle Paul to write, to teach, to command, that we would respond with faith and practice it in our lives where it is appropriate. Lord, we ask that you would fill us with your spirit so as to be able to have comprehension, to understand, and to continue to grow in faith. We need to learn your word and live by it. So help us to do that. We pray this in Jesus' name, amen. 1 Corinthians chapter seven. Please give your attention to God's word. Now concerning the matters about which you wrote, It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman. But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, The wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time that you may devote yourselves to prayer, but then come together again so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. Now, as a concession, not a command, I say this. I wish that all were as I myself am, but each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. To the unmarried and the widows, I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to be aflame with passion. 1 Corinthians 7 is about not failing to uphold the obligations placed on you within the temporary gift of marriage. Again, 1 Corinthians 7, the beginning is about not failing to uphold the duty that you have if you were within that temporary gift of marriage. Now, all the Corinthian Christians have the most important gift. They have Jesus Christ. Jesus has become, for the Corinthian Christians, their righteousness, their sanctification, their redemption. This is the gift that you must have. You must have the mind of Christ. You must have the person of Jesus Christ as your power and wisdom. But not everybody in the Corinthian church has the same marital status. You have widows, you have some who are married, and you have singles. And so Paul, filled by the spirit of God, is answering the question that the married Christians in Corinth write to him. This question is, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman. Right? Do you agree with this, Apostle Paul? As you're reading through 1 Corinthians, you will come upon sections that make it clear that there has been some sort of a previous letter. Paul has been going back and forth with the Corinthian church, and we don't have all of that. What we have is what is necessary for our salvation and our good, but we get these moments where it ends that prior communication. And here, it's a very clear example concerning the things you wrote. Because this is things, plural, we know that we have a few more of those things ahead of us. But the first is this. It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman. One of the things that is key for interpreting all of Scripture, but especially 1 Corinthians is, in order for us to understand it, to read it wisely, we first need to figure out what are the Corinthians asking Paul? And what was the message, the command, the words that the Spirit gave Paul to give to them? And then it ministers to us. The kind of flow is understanding what is Paul saying to the married couples in Corinth, and then how does it apply to us here in Elkins Park? Paul is not aiming at answering all of the questions that American married Christians may have about sex within their marriage. He is answering verse one. And so what I'd like to do is rule out a few things about verse one, and there will be times throughout the sermon where I will be asking us to kind of take out a magnifying glass and look closer at certain phrases, words, to really get a sense of what is at play here. First, it's a clear command in the Bible that an unmarried man should not have sex with an unmarried woman. A sex outside of marriage is a sin and a violation of the seventh commandment. And so what that shows us is that here in our English translations for verse one, there is some decisions at play. What do I mean by that? Well, in Greek, the same word that you would use for man is the same word you would use for husband. And the same Greek word you would use for woman is the same for wife. And so in verse two and three, where you see husband and wife, it is the same thing as man and woman. So they're not asking Paul, should the seventh commandment be obeyed? Because they would know that. What they are asking is, should a husband not have sexual relations with his wife? Their question is focusing on what is the good. Remember, that's what they're asking. Is it good for a man, a husband, not to have sexual relations with his wife? When you are in that Corinthian culture, when you are asking about what is the good, you're not asking what is permissible, you are asking what is the height? What is the peak of married Christian spirituality? How do we get there? So before I kind of examine that a little bit, I'd like to note that I think there are two things that we can applaud the married couples in Corinth for. First, they want to know how they can experience deeper communion with God as husband and wife. Day to day in your marriage, usually your primary focus is how do we make sure we're not at each other's throat? How do we make sure things are going well and we're taking care of our responsibilities? And often what can fall at the wayside is how are we as husband and wife growing deeper in our communion with God? How are we growing in the grace and knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ? And by asking this question, would this be good in our marriage? The Corinthians are showing that they desire increasing communion. The second thing is they are seeking the good of marriage within the context of the local church. A marriage is a covenant that is private. It is between husband and wife. But notice how they are reaching out to their apostle, their teacher. Tell us, is this what we should be doing? Is this a good thing? The way that marriage is to be enjoyed is in fellowship with the local church. It's to be enjoyed and lived under the teaching and instruction of elders. This is one of the ways in which the Lord aids us and helps us in loving each other. Not too long ago, I needed some dear brothers to tell me, don't linger on this too long. Let it go. You have a lot of life ahead of you, and Lord willing, a long ministry, and you have a wonderful family, a beautiful wife, let this go. You need that. And so I would urge you to recognize your marriage is a private relationship covenant between you and your spouse, but do not try to live it and enjoy it in secret. Be around older brothers and sisters. When you have questions or you want input, seek your minister, seek wise counselors. But still, it's kind of interesting if, maybe even odd, if married Christians are saying, we want to practice celibacy. What is that? That would be shocking to us. And why is it that this is something that the Corinthian Christians would be interested in? One, the culture of Corinth at that time is very different from sex-crazed America. That is, that abstinence was seen as a way to personal wholeness and power. A celibacy was a way to get the most out of something. It was a way to aid devotion. If you were devoted to attaining glory or attaining some sort of rank and philosophy, abstinence was the way. And on top of that, there are certain interpretations of scripture. Actually, I wanna go back, actually, on 1.2 about culture. That's something that every church always, no matter the age, needs to acknowledge. How much has the culture's view of sex, its purpose, its good, informed the way that Christians are viewing marital intimacy? Is it the word and godly wisdom, or is it movies, novels, other relationships that I have witnessed And so culture for the Corinthian Christians was celibacy, aids, devotion. Now, there's also certain interpretations or possible interpretations of certain scripture passages. What does Jesus mean when he says, there are eunuchs who were born this way? And there are those who became eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom. What does Jesus mean when he says those who belong to this age, remember the age that the apostle Paul is telling the Corinthian Christians you don't belong to anymore. Yeah, those who belong to this age, Mary, but those who are worthy for the age to come are like angels. And of course we have the apostle Paul. As he is writing letters to them, we don't get a signature of the Apostle Paul and Mrs. Paul. They know that their apostle is single. And so this is why the Apostle Paul doesn't simply say to them, you want to practice celibacy in your marriage? That's ridiculous. But rather he reminds them of something that married couples always forget. A marriage is shared between a sinful man and a sinful woman. There's times where you just forget your spouse is a sinner. How could they respond that way? How could they do that? How could they not be like this? There you are on your high horse, forgetting that they are a sinner and you are a sinner too, and you need the grace of Jesus Christ. The specific sin that Paul reminds these Corinthian married couples that want to practice celibacy is pornea. Now remember, I was talking about that magnifying glass. This is the first time where we're gonna use it. Can you look with me at verse two? Now it says, because of the temptation to sexual immorality. That phrase, temptation to sexual immorality, is trying to capture one Greek word, pornea. Pornia is not simply sexual desire. Paul is not saying you cannot be committed to marital celibacy because your husband might be attracted to you, or the wife might desire her husband. This is not what Paul is aiming at. If sexual desire is a fire that mutually warms the love and affection between two spouses, pornia is a fire that's just looking to burn. It will consume whatever image, person, screen, object to continue to burn. And this is what Paul is highlighting. Pornia is a fire that continues to burn. And he is saying, you can't forget that. Demonstrating that when you place your faith in Jesus Christ, you are once and for all sanctified. You are set apart. But there is also what is called progressive sanctification, whereby the spirit you need to be able to die, to sin more and more and live unto righteousness. And he says, what about Pornia? And so I'd like to give a scenario. So consider then there is a Corinthian marriage where one spouse struggles with Pornia and their spouse decides to commit themselves to celibacy. The apostle Paul says, well, what would happen to the other spouse? For this reason, Paul writes, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. This is another one of those magnifying moments. Could you look with me again at verse two? Often this section of verse two, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband is interpreted to mean, well then go and get married, go and get a wife, go and get a husband. But I'd like to present to you that the have is sexual intercourse, that each husband should have sex with his wife and each wife with her husband. Normally, as you read through the biblical literature, you take a wife, you get a wife, but here, As Paul is addressing the question posed to him by married Christians, we know later he'll do that switch to widows and singles. He is saying, have, meaning intercourse, intimacy, not go and get married. This is not what he is presenting to us. And so from here, we get our first command. Each spouse must give their conjugal rights to their spouse. It's stated again in verse five, do not deprive one another. I want to state also that Paul is not saying that what's present here exhaust all the good of marriage. I think Westminster Confession of Faith, chapter 24, really summarizes it well. There is the mutual help between husband and wife. There is the increase in mankind generally. There is the increase in the church with a holy seed and the prevention of uncleanness. And this, that, the prevention of uncleanness is what Paul is after. Paul's counsel is with concern for a spouse who would be falling into the temptation of Satan who would fall into Satan's plot and scheme. He says, but then come together again so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. There's a commentator and I think it's very interesting. There's no way to verify this, but he mentions if you had the case where marriages were removing from coming together in intimacy and they were practicing celibacy, It wouldn't be surprising, is what he says, that in the previous chapter, we hear of people in the congregation going to visit prostitutes. Well, here is the scenario where the spouse who is struggling with pornea is being deprived of their conjugal rights, and then they turn to find a place for that fire to burn elsewhere. What is very interesting about that is that that is often an excuse used many a time. Well, because I am not getting, I went elsewhere. Because I am not receiving this, I will look elsewhere. But I think what's very helpful to remember is that this idea of defrauding, this isn't the first time that we come into this kind of language here. Do not deprive someone of their right. And if you were to do though, you would be defrauding that person. But earlier, remember the Apostle Paul says, better to be defrauded than to sin. Better to be deprived. And so he would say to the person who is going to, if this was taking place, going to visit a prostitute, I'm not giving you license to do that. Better for you to be denied your right than to sin against God. Well, I gave a scenario earlier. I'd like to give a scenario spouses. I'd like to present spouses that I think often come to 1 Corinthians 7 for unfortunate reasons. There is the spouse who believes that their intense and uncontrolled sexual desire is normal. That's just how everybody is. It is normal and therefore it is their spouse's job to put the fire out whenever it burns. What is missing here? One, the Bible does not teach that pornea is normal and acceptable. Again, Paul's not talking about normal sexual desire, but a fire that has no self-control and looks to rage and burn. And you'll see that the Apostle Paul doesn't present marriage as the realm in which the uncontrolled desire runs free and is fulfilled. Marriage is the realm where the fire of pornea is snuffed out. This is how he presents it. And so we can't say of the Apostle Paul that he is downplaying the body. No, he is not a Gnostic. He says that marital sex has its place in helping combat pornea. But the Apostle Paul is not a naturalist. What do I mean by that? He doesn't simply say that if you are struggling with pornea, all you need to do is be intimate with your spouse and it's gone. When Paul is asked, how do I not gratify the desires of the flesh, which would include pornea, he says, walk by the spirit, keep in step with the spirit. Paul gives habit and helper. If I can put it that way, you know, preachers, we like doing that. Habit, be with your spouse. Husband, have your wife. Wife, have your husband, but helper, the third person of the spirit. Your spouse is not a savior. Intimacy within marriage is not a power. If Pornia will be put to death, it must be the helper. It must be the spirit of God. And so spouses who struggle with porneia must practice honesty with their spouse. They must confess and acknowledge that they are subject to be overcome by the fire of porneia. When I was talking with Angie about this sermon, she said, you know, could you give me kind of an example of what that might look like for somebody in the Corinthian church? And I said, oh, well, here's one example. Let's say you have just been a normal Corinthian man for most of your life. And you have been participating in all kinds of immorality and sexual promiscuity, and then you converted. Now there are certainly times in which the Lord in his kindness not only saves sinners, but immediately removes temptations. But sometimes it's not removed as quick as possible. And so now here you are, you are a converted man and you take a Christian wife. And so you want to have devotion to the Lord, but maybe the memories, the experiences struggling to put them to death. And so that spouse must be honest, confess their weaknesses and seek the help of the spirit. Well, that's one scenario spouse. And here's another. One who refuses to see marital sex as anything but romance. That if we are to be intimate, it needs to be perfect. The perfect time, day, season, energy, feel, mood, everything has to be perfect. We're here. It is certainly true that you have authority over your spouse's body. And so when you give a no, it is to be honored and respected. But there is a time where sex in marriage is an act of service and it is for the good of your spouse. Again, verse five, do not deprive one another. And then he gives his description of what the concession is, but he says, you don't want that spouse to be tempted because of their lack of self control. I want to say this. Paul is not putting on a spouse the responsibility of mortifying, that is, putting to death the sin of Pornia or the temptation to Pornia. He is calling that spouse to help. And that help does come with authority. Here it is asked of the spouse, commanded of the spouse, to not deprive their spouse, in order to keep the connection going, but to keep them from temptation. So underneath these specifics of the Corinthian question is a call for all married people, no matter their location or place in time. Two things. One, in your marriage, be honest about your temptations and sins. In the church membership class, sometimes the students have to listen to me talk about being a dad and a husband. I'm sure it's the most exciting part for them. And one of the things that I was talking with them about today when we were focusing on repentance is that it is embarrassing in marriage to have to confess your sin. There is shame in having to go to the person you have made vows to love and cherish and serve. Please forgive me because I was angry. Please forgive me because I was selfish, having to be honest about your temptations and sins. And so I think one of the general principles that we can get from this is if you are an angry spouse, if you are tempted to be an angry spouse, be honest about it. If you are a bitter spouse, a gossipy spouse, a jealous spouse, be honest with your husband, your wife about your temptations and sins. And the second thing is be willing to serve and help each other in your weakness. The natural response when you see your spouse's sin and weakness is to say, you need to fix that. And if it's really a problem and it's affecting you, you say, you need to fix that immediately. You need to hurry up. All calls us to do this is not what the Lord Jesus calls us to do. We are to serve and help our spouse in their temptation and in their sins. And of course, we could ask, well, I would ask with a little bit of a grumpiness to it, but why? Why do I need to help my spouse? Why do I need to not reject them and push them away in their sin and weakness, but to serve and to help and support? And the answer is, beloved, because that is where we find the true good of marriage. What is the height of spirituality in Christian marriage when you get a picture of the Lord Jesus to your spouse? It is not celibacy, but the height of spirituality is that In the face of your spouse's temptation and sin, you respond to their weakness and sin the way that Jesus responds to your sins and weaknesses. You give, you serve, you love, you encourage. You respond to their sin the way that Christ responds to your sin. That is where we see a true spirituality. And I would add that where that is absent, we are certainly moving away from the Lord Jesus. As we have a deeper fellowship with the Lord, and we see and understand His great love and care for us, how He covers our sins with His grace and forgiveness, the way He bears with our failings and weaknesses, If we are fellowshipping with the Lord, how could we not extend that to our spouse? We're with all the time. Here is the peak of Christian marriage, treating your spouse the way Christ treats you. Well, here's another scenario. Let's say both spouses agree to practice celibacy, but one says, I am going to acknowledge I struggle with pornea. Well, the apostle Paul says this one, if you are committed to practicing celibacy first, it must be by mutual agreement. You both need to agree. And it needs to be for a specific time with a specific plan. I don't think we should take devotion to prayer as exhausting all the spiritual graces to be enjoyed during that time. Now they cannot read from Genesis to Revelation because they at that time don't have all the scripture like we do. But they can talk and pray and meditate over the words that were read in their church gathering and the word that was preached to them. But here is a specific time and plan in which you are practicing devotion to the Lord together. And then he says, come together again so that Satan may not tempt you. It's interesting. Here is a scenario where two spouses would be devoted to a time of prayer. And even then, Paul says, if you do not come together again, the spouse who struggles with pornea would be tempted because of their lack of self-control. Then the Apostle Paul switches his focus. He was writing again to married couples. Now he writes to singles and widows with a controlling question. I'm putting this controlling question in there. Do you have self-control? Again, notice as he's writing to singles, he does not say, do you not have sexual desire? One of the things that sometimes we can think or act on as a mistake as we're discussing singleness and celibacy is that if someone's called to singleness, they have zero sexual desire. That actually isn't what Paul is assuming. He asks, do you have self-control? Do you have control over Pornia? If yes, then it would be better for you to remain unmarried like the Apostle Paul. If no, then you should marry. Again, he's not teaching that marriage or sex in marriage is a savior, but as a help. I'd like to finish with a word to the church and then a word about Christ. As far as the word to the church, whenever the church is squeamish or silent about sexuality and our bodies, the world, the flesh and the devil say, you don't want to talk about it. I'll gladly take up this conversation. So it can be weird having to think, how many times did my minister say that word? But if it is not heard here, where the word of God is preached, where it's being discussed not to please ourselves, but to please the Lord Jesus Christ, who would take up that conversation? And how unfortunate would it be? We need to talk with our children and to talk to each other about these things again, Notice the Corinthian church, as they are talking about sexual relations within marriage, they, not in a very graphic or detailed way, present the subject to the Apostle Paul and say, teach us, speak into this situation so that we would do right. And so I have two A's here for these kinds of conversation. One is appropriate. Discuss this appropriate to the person you are speaking with, their age. I heard a minister say recently that when he was talking with younger children or children in the church about this, if they would ask, he did not want to take away their innocence. The example he gave is he wants 12 year old boys to still primarily be thinking about, can I jump off this tree without snapping my arm? And so what is his goal? He does want to speak about it with a particular aim. I wanna talk about this as I'm moving you towards devotion to Christ now. But I wanna speak about it in an appropriate way that's not removing the fact that you should be going riding your bike. And so the two A's is appropriate to that person's age and that aim of devotion to Christ. If I could recommend a resource, I'm not getting paid for this, it's just something that I've read and I think it's very helpful. It's called the New Reformation Catechism on Human Sexuality. The New Reformation Catechism on Human Sexuality. I've been reading it and I've really enjoyed how they have tried to tackle these questions that are very prominent, that are all over. And it is a very easy way to slip it into family worship. And now about Christ. Christ is to be our sole devotion. Later in this chapter, Paul will conclude that at the end of the day, what matters is undivided devotion to Jesus Christ. And so I would ask to the spouses here, is that what you desire for your spouse? Are you concerned about their love and trust in the love of Jesus Christ? That is a great good that you desire and want for them, their undivided devotion to Jesus Christ. And because it is so great and good, it is a goal that doesn't just belong to married couples, but to all of us. no matter your age, whether you are called to singleness or simply unmarried and waiting for the Lord's leading, devotion to Christ is that one devotion that will never disappoint, that will never result in shame. If you give your ultimate devotion to your spouse, there will be times where you were disappointed. If you give your ultimate devotion to trying to have the best career, the best education, the best family, there will be times where you are disappointed because this involves sinners. But devotion to Jesus Christ, undivided devotion to Him, brothers and sisters, it will never result in shame. It will bring you no loss. It will only give you gain and it is guaranteed to satisfy. Let's pray. Lord, you have filled us with your spirit. And so we pray, Lord, that we would have self-control, not just over pornea, but the many passions of the flesh, the many ways of this world that tempt us to turn away from Jesus Christ and to follow this world. I pray, Lord, that you would allow the church to have a bold and clear witness against the many lies and many things promoted to destroy what you have created and called good. I pray, Lord, for all of us here, that you would place undivided devotion to Christ in our hearts. I pray this in Jesus' name, amen.