Let's take a look now, we've been talking about raising children through the seven steps to maturity. I think we'll probably get through these, I hope we will, if I don't bog down and review, which I usually do, and then maybe get into growing old, which is our last one, and then we'll be caught up where we're supposed to be at the end of December and get into something else, okay? Maybe. I don't know. But at any rate, we've been talking about the seven steps of maturity and those seven steps we identified in several places in Scripture. Now, if you didn't get the handouts and you'd like to have some of the others, we may have some of them back there. If you don't have the handout on raising the children, they have one for you right now. Raise your hand, they'll get one for you. Seven steps to maturity are based on the Beatitudes, based on the seven steps that we find there, and the first one, of course, is poverty of spirit. Blessed are the poor in spirit, okay? A person who recognizes his need, who recognizes that he must depend upon God, is a person who's ready to get started in spiritual growth. Now, whenever we've gone through these handout sheets, we've always spent more time on the first three, we have the last four. Why do you suppose that is? Yeah, okay. Yeah, they're prerequisite. That's where the struggle is. Okay, if you get by those first three, the other four come much easier. You know, your initial choices, Romans 6 makes that so clear, that choosing what we're going to do is where the struggle is. Somebody says, I can't do right. Neither can I, but I can choose to do right and so can you. And once we choose, then the Holy Spirit empowers us to do right. We have the ability to choose to do right in the same way we have the ability to choose to do wrong. And once we choose to do wrong, we are then supernaturally empowered by the forces of evil working through our flesh to do wrong. Once the choice is made, it becomes easier because we have help. Once the choice is made to do right, we have supernatural power from God to do right. But God gives us the choice and holds us responsible to make the right choice. Anybody can choose to do right or to do wrong. A person who waits to make the choice until he sees within himself the reserves of strength is trusting his own flesh, trusting his own pride. And we talk about the offense of the gospel, and when we talked last Sunday, and I heard a lot of comments from people who appreciated what we talked about last Sunday, last Sunday night on the Great Commission, and I encourage you to really study that more. That'd make a good series of messages, those five presentations of the Great Commission and the different things that we brought out on those things. I think that'd be good for us to really go into that more in detail. We talk about the offense of the gospel. What is the offense of the gospel? We're gonna touch on that in this morning's message. Yes, sir. That's right. Yes, sir. That's right. That's it. That's the offense of the gospel. Man is absolutely helpless. And people who are offended by their own helplessness, who don't want to admit that they cannot do anything for themselves, those are the ones who are offended with the gospel. The gospel says the Lord offers you salvation freely. The offense of the cross, that's what it is. In Galatians 6, is it 12, where it talks about the offense of the cross. The offense says man is helpless and needs a savior. Now you go to some people today and they want to be Christians, but they say, well, you know, I don't think you can be secure because you have to hold out faithful. What are they trusting? Trusting what they can do, you see. And if you tell them there's nothing you can do to save yourself, that is the offense of the gospel. And a person has got to get over that. That's the first step in the growth series that we're studying, too. It's that initial offense of acknowledging your own helplessness. That's the offense of the gospel. It's the offense of every other step in Christian growth. A person has to get up of swallowing his pride and saying, help, before he's going to get anything. Here's somebody that comes for, you know, their welfare check, or, you know, their groceries from the Five Loaves Ministry, and they have this attitude, well, I don't want your charity. Well, what do you want then? You know? See, there's an awful lot of people in the world today that really want charity, but they think they deserve it, or they think that somebody owes it to them. A lot of people have an attitude about charity that the world owes them a living. You see? They think they got it coming. That's the problem with the welfare state. You see? And a lot of people feel that way about salvation, too. They think they got it coming. What we got coming, folks, is hell. Every one of us ought to be in hell now. You see? It's by God's grace that we're not. And that is offensive to some people because they don't want to admit that they deserve that. And it's pride, as these brethren said, it's pride that keeps us from acknowledging that. Now that same problem has to be overcome in any phase of growth. Whenever we're going to learn any truth, whenever we're going to develop any level of maturity in any area of life, we've got to begin with, I can't do it by myself. I need help. And in rearing children, the first thing that we need to teach our children is you need help. Now they know that innately when they're little. They just don't know for sure how to get it at first. They start out demanding it. And the problem that parents must overcome in their children is to teach them that there is a way to get help without demanding it. Because if a person who is little demands help and gets it in response to a demand, that's where that attitude comes from later in life that says, I want it, but you owe it to me. You see how that works? Now there's some Bible that teaches us that. It says, beat your child with the rod and deliver his soul from hell. I don't think I've ever actually beat one of the children. There have been times when I have sorely desired to do so. Okay? I have spanked them, you know, and I am sure that they felt that they were getting a beating. Okay? Now when it says beat them with the rod, it does not mean what we would think of today as beat them with the rod. Although, the Bible also says the blueness of the wound cleanseth the soul. Now you bruise a kid today and the DSS will come and tell you that you have no right to those kids. But, on the other hand, I think you've got to use a lot of discretion and realize the truth of that verse. That when you teach a child that he will be punished if he does wrong, you're teaching him that there are certain types of behavior that are unacceptable and certain other types of behavior that are acceptable. And when you punish him for that wrong behavior... Now, again, somebody says, well, you know, you just punish a kid for rebellion, right? No, there are some times when you have to punish a child for childish irresponsibility. You've got to learn to distinguish between childish irresponsibility and adolescent rebellion, I guess you might call it, or open rebellion. Rebellion deserves harder punishment than irresponsibility. Let me ask you a question now. I've used this illustration hundreds of times. If your little two-year-old or one-year-old goes over and you find him chewing on a plugged-in electric lamp cord, what are you going to do? You're gonna take all the electric cords and hide them? You're gonna say, no, and be very firm about that, no. Next time you see him go into it, you're gonna wait until he bites and say, well, you know, he'll learn. Is that what you're gonna do? No, you're gonna give them a vaccination of pain. That's why you give them a smallpox vaccination. I don't know if they do that anymore. They used to when I was a kid. You give them a smallpox vaccination, why is that? Give them a little bit of it right there so they'll develop a resistance to it so they won't get the disease and die of it. So you give them a little pain vaccination. You go up there and whack, smack the back of his hand. Now after a while, the Pavlovian response starts to set in and he starts thinking, whenever he gets an urge to bite that cord, he starts thinking about the pain it results. You bite the cord, hand hurts. Hmm, not a good idea. Okay? So he can put that together in his little infantile brain. That's the way that works. Now, if you're consistent. Now, if you smack him one time, you don't smack him the next time, you smack him another time, and you just discipline him when he irritates you, then after a while, his little brain puts all that together. He says, hmm, okay, act good when mom is around. Do what you want when she's not. And who taught him that? Yeah, that's right, you see. Now, and of course a person like that is extremely hard to help because they learn to be manipulators and they really suffer later in life, okay. So you teach him to do what he's supposed to do and you teach him that there are ways that he can ask for and get what he wants and ways that he doesn't. But the first thing you've got to teach him is that he has a need and he needs guidance and he needs leadership, but he cannot demand it. Teach him to appeal for it and teach him to ask for it the right way. Recognition of his dependence. In other words, part of teaching a child to recognize his dependence is to be dependent in the right way. Not demanding, but dependent. Encourage dependence in some things. Now later on, you're going to want to encourage independence. But you can never encourage independence in the proper way unless you've taught dependence in the right way. Does that make sense? A lot of people don't realize this until it's too late. And they get their kids up to 14, 15, 16 years old and then they start trying to deal with a rebellion problem. And it's very hard to do that. Because by that time, their character's established and their choices are set. And especially, as far as the mother's concerned, the children are too physically big to deal with in that way, okay? But you've got to use whatever reasonable force is necessary without injuring the child to make that child depend on you and obey you when he's little, okay? The mourning there is, of course, the desire to follow. Create a desire to follow, okay? a desire to follow, just like in the Beatitude. Blessed are they that mourn, for they should be comforted. Once a person has recognized that he has nothing of himself, then that person has to be sorry about that and be willing to trust God to give him what he needs. And that same thing applies to child rearing. Now, we've applied this in all these other areas. As we apply it to child rearing, the idea of mourning means to teach a child to trust the parent and to be willing to follow. Now, you do that through the motivators of both fear and desire. Get from fear motivators to desire motivators as soon as possible, and try to use both. Psychologists call it positive reinforcement, and the Dr. Spock philosophy, which is as wrong as can be, said only use positive motivators. Well, that's not necessarily right. There have to be some fear motivators, too. I mean, you can't teach a child by desire to stay out of the street. You teach him by fear to stay out of the street. You teach him by fear to leave the electric cord alone. There may be some other things that you have to teach him by fear. Once he has begun to learn by fear, then you can teach him by desire. Once he knows where the boundaries are, then you lead him. And there's nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with that at all. And, you know, encourage that child. Help him. But at the same time, don't just give him sugar-coated stuff all the time. Help him learn the other things too. Nothing wrong with a little reward. I'm all for rewarding right behavior. I'm not for bribing children. But there's a difference between bribing children. I know a lot of fundamentalist Christian parents that don't reward their children enough because they think it's bribing. I believe in paying your kids to read, okay? I really do. Set a certain amount on a certain book and say, you read that book, you get it. Now, don't give it to them and let them go out and buy junk candy or stuff like that. Put it in an account for them. Or, you know, and again, I don't believe in gratis allowances. You know, that's not a good thing for children either. But give them something to do for it, and when they do, then teach them to tithe on a certain portion of it, make them save a certain portion of it. Let them do whatever they want to do with your approval with the rest of it. You see? Yes, sir. When Daniel took our dog to dog obedience school, that was brought home so clearly that if you punish the dog, all you do is make the dog scared and confused. Now again, we're not talking about rearing dogs here, we're talking about rearing children, but at the same time, the principle of positive reinforcement is there. Whenever the dog does what you want him to do, always compliment and praise the dog. because any child wants approval from his parents. And if he knows that certain behavior will get that approval for him, he will do that behavior in order to get that approval. And that's the way that you lead the child to follow. So first thing you do is you establish dependence and let him know where the boundaries are. And then you create in him a desire to follow. And then, of course, meekness is submission to authority. All of that comes together. Now you say, well, wait a minute. I thought that was in the dependence already. Now, the submission to authority is where you are leading the child through a recognition of your authority without physical force. Once you've established your authority, that child will obey you. in every area. You see? Without physical restraint. You won't have to smack him on the hand. You'll say, no. And that's the way it'll be. We've got a father here. I'll tell you who it is. Steve Forsythe. As I've watched him with his children, he'll look at his kids, he'll make eye contact with them. He's got a little noise he makes with his mouth. And wherever he is, regardless of how much noise there is in this building, he'll make that little noise and his kids will immediately look at it. And he'll look at the chair and they'll sit down. That's submission to authority. His kids are exemplary, too, aren't they? Because, beg your pardon? Exemplary. Just testimony. Tremendous. Because they've done these steps right here, these principles, and worked together in that area. So teaching submission to authority is, of course, the idea of meekness. Blessed are the meek. Why? they shall inherit the earth. People who learn to be submissive to authority are the ones that will receive positions of leadership in this world. Yes, sir. That's right. I use this phrase sometimes. I say that we make a mistake when we raise our children to be good children. Many Christian parents are, for some reason or another, rearing their children with selfish attitudes, selfish motivations. Either they're trying to prove something to their own parents, or trying to prove something to their Christian friends. And after a while, the kids get the impression, and sometimes they're right, that the parents want those children to be another trophy in their Christian testimony. You see? And the kids resent that. The kids know whether you are raising them to glorify God, to serve God with their lives, or whether you're raising them for your own selfish ends. And even if you do all of the right things, if you're doing so, as Bernie said, if you're doing so for your benefit and not God's glory, excuse me, not even the children's benefit, but if you're doing so for any reason other than God's glory, eventually you're going to trip up somewhere along the line and your motives are going to be revealed as selfish. Now, again, the child's benefit should override your benefit, you know, at some point in time, but God's glory is the ultimate goal. Yes, sir. That's it. Except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain to build it. No technique or motive is ever going to get us where we ought to be if we're not totally dependent on the Lord. That's right. Boy, that's good. Everybody who I've ever talked to, that had kids that served the Lord when they grew up. And I don't necessarily mean preachers and missionaries. I mean straight Christian people who lived their lives for God. Anybody that I've ever talked to, I say, you know, how'd you do it? They say, well, the Lord was really gracious. They always give credit to the Lord. They never say, well, we did this, and well, we did that, and well, you gotta try this, and well, you gotta try. They always say, blessed be the name of the Lord. And of course, that is the reason that they were able to see that. Okay, we got two hands, one back here. Good principle. You know, I'm sorry to say this, but an awful lot of Christian people, because of the influences in our society today, an awful lot of Christian people fail to understand that principle right there of submission. A lot of ladies, a lot of Christian ladies believe somehow that their submission to their husbands is different than the children's submission, expected submission to them. And a lot of husbands believe that their submission to the Lord is different than the wife's submission to the husband and the children's submission to the wife. The principle of submission is a principle that applies to whoever is responsible to be submissive. And some people get the idea, well, now wait a minute, I'm not a child, you know. And the wife will look at the husband and say, you know, you're not my father, you know, and this kind of thing. And some of you are laughing because you've said that. But it really isn't funny. It's really kind of sad. Now, again, husbands, you're not her father. You're her husband. And you're the lover. And you're not to treat her like she's your daughter or your child. You see what I'm saying? But that principle is very important. And a mother who struggles. And I really believe that ladies have more opportunity to have this problem because they're with the children when they're little. And that's when that business of submission is going to be established. I think ladies have more trouble because they have more opportunity to have trouble with this than men do to a very large degree. I know I can end up counseling more ladies. Maybe they want more help. They're more likely to ask for help. Could be that too. But in this area of having problems with the children because they've never learned properly to submit. Now what is, give me a synonym for the word submit. Obey? Yeah, that's one. Give me a better one. Surrender? Yeah, give me a better one. Trust. There it is, okay. Yeah, in other words, it's trustful obedience. Trust is the basis of true submission. A lot of people teach submission as though it were blind obedience. The word obey. Again, we're going to see that word in the morning message here. The word obey is translated in a number of ways. The same word that's translated obey. Hebrews 13, 17. Yeah, 13, 17. Obey them and have the rule over you. That is exactly the same word that we find in 2 Timothy. I am persuaded that he is able. Let's see. Persuasion, obey, agree. Paul used it, I have confidence, another time. It's translated in many, many ways. Obey is the least frequent translation of that word. So the concept of obedience in the Bible is one of trustful submission. I know this is of God. Therefore, even though I can't see how it's going to work out, I'm going to trust him. I'm going to obey because I trust him. That is the biblical concept of submission. And most women have the idea, not most, well, yes, I think so, in our society today. Many Christian women also have the idea that submission is a punishment for Adam and Eve's problem. I think they really believe that. Yes, sir? In our society today, an awful lot of young people have to learn from the government or the military or an employer what they should learn from mom and dad when they were little. But you know, we've got to come back to what Brother Craven said a minute ago. You know, in order for us to teach these things, beginning with poverty of spirit to our children, we've got to have poverty of spirit ourselves. You know, you ask me, how am I doing with my kids? I'm messing up. I'm really messing up. I mean, it's by the grace of God that anything's working. I mean, I believe that. I mean that with all my heart. And my kids deserve a whole lot better than they're getting. And I'll tell you, I just prayed with the grace of God. And the thing about this thing, it's just about the time you figure out how to do this, you're done. And so, you know, because you've got to learn from them how to do this. Nobody has any preparation for this. That's why I say again, God doesn't give us kids because we've got sense to raise them. He gives us kids so we can learn from them how to have them raise theirs. That's the truth. I really believe that. And we've got to really be honest with our kids. I think it's so important for parents to tell their kids, look, you know, I'm in charge and God gave me this responsibility and this is what we're going to do. But, you know, I've messed up in this area and I'm sorry and I want you to forgive me and this is what we're going to do. I think it's important to do that. I think parents who can't admit that they're wrong are wronger than they realize. Okay, yes, sir. Communication. You know, I really wonder sometimes, Brother Bailey, if parents are able to do that until they've learned to do it as a couple. In other words, what he said here is that we need to teach our children or help our children learn how to read the spirit of their authority. I think one of the reasons that we don't see more of that today is most couples aren't able to read the spirit of each other. And again, it's a sad thing, but the time that most couples grow up themselves, they have already missed a lot of opportunities that they could have had, should have had with their children. Most couples are not ready for marriage today. And most of them have to learn the hard way. That's why so many marriages, 50% of them, don't survive. And of the 50% that do survive, a very small percentage of people really grow up and become contributing, unselfish adults within that relationship. So there are very few people that are really doing this job the way God wants it to be done. I don't take discouragement from this. You can always start wherever you are and do right. Regardless of the mistakes that you've made and the damage that you've done, it's never irreparable. As long as the Bible is true and God is alive, there is hope. Never, ever think that your kids are doomed by your mistakes. If that were true, and don't buy this business that every generation has to do less than the other. One of the things you gotta be careful about with the Gothard materials now, I'm gonna just warn you on this, okay, is that he will leave you, now he doesn't do this intentionally, but most of the folks who've been to the Gothard seminars come away with the idea that the parents are totally responsible for the children's decisions. And that ain't so. If that were so, there would never ever be a possibility of revival. Now listen, there's an awful lot of examples in the Bible of kids that had wicked parents that did right. Okay? And some of you here have unsaved parents, and you're here today. God can take any submissive heart and bless that life. So don't ever get in the idea that you've done irreparable damage to your kids, and don't spend the rest of your life trying to make up for them and spoil them, you know, because you spoiled them originally. Okay, you see? Yes, sir? Have to be consistent. Parents have to be in agreement with each other. And again, this is one of the tragedies of our society today. I think there are a number of reasons for this. I think a lot of it has to do with the social fabric. Let me give you a little history lesson here, okay? I think a lot of it, you know, we can find answers straight from scripture, but on the other hand, we also have to be aware of what's happening in our society generally, okay? When the Industrial Revolution came in the late 1800s, the larger family began to disintegrate. When people used to live on farms, grandma and grandpa lived in the same house. Sometimes both sets of grandparents, if the son or daughter, one son or daughter had been you know, able to put the farm together, and, you know, they'd build a little place out back, and then after a while, you know, the son or daughter that had a lot of kids would move in the big house, and mom and dad would move in the little house where they had started out, and this kind of thing. And they all worked together on the farm, and there was grandpa, and there were aunts and uncles, and they were nearby, and first cousins, and everybody to play with, and all this kind of thing. And there's a larger support community, and sometimes as many as 30 people that would get together on Christmas or Thanksgiving, and all of these interactions of close people that you knew, Well, when the Industrial Revolution came, the men and their families started moving off to go work in the factory. And they started separating from each other. And that developed what we call the nuclear family, where it was mom and dad and their kids. That was the family. And then their friends. And the mill villages. And the factory towns. And the coal mining towns. And all these places started growing up. And then, the larger family became the community of employment. common interests. And we see all kinds of social attempts to rebuild that larger family structure. I really believe that's where labor unions came from. I believe it was an attempt of people with common interests to unite themselves somehow for protection of each other and common goals and these kinds of things. and the various guilds. And now we see all kinds of struggles and things going on. And as these struggles occurred, then Marxism became very popular in many countries, and the socialism idea of community and communal interest in each other. But people aren't interested in each other because they're not related to each other. They don't have any obligations to each other. They're just taking advantage of each other. And then the First World War came. and millions of our people. Well, all the time immigrants were coming over from Europe. England lost 3 million men. 25% of the men between 19 and 32 died in that war in Europe. And another 50% of the men, so 75% were affected by that. Another 50% were wounded in that war, maimed or on some kind of government support. It totally changed the social fabric. And so now we got a lot of widows, we got a lot of even smaller families, all kinds of struggle and the economic develops and all that kind of thing. Then when World War II came around, you know, now mom has been keeping the family together. No longer do we have a patriarchal system where the dad keeps things together and the larger family is there to support. Now we got a matriarchal situation between the wars where the mother is holding the thing together. But now in World War II, Mom goes to the factory and she never came home as a society. She found out she liked it. She stayed out there and people decided that they wanted to make a lot of money and so they went both to work. And that's why we have come to 1989 and we've got this daycare nonsense of believing that the state is responsible to raise the children. You see? And so now we have, so when a couple gets married, Immediately, a young husband or a young wife gets together and expects that one person who has plenty of needs of his own or her own to meet the needs that God had originally allowed 30 people to meet. Now there ain't no way that's going to work. Thank God for close-knit, accountable, local churches. People within them can find some respite from that problem. But you know, a lot of local churches today don't provide what the local bar provides. Now you think about it. Here's a guy. I mean, who can he talk to? The only one he's got to talk to is his wife and she's the one he's mad at. So where's he gonna go? He goes down and he sits down there at the bar. And here's old Joe. And Joe will listen, and he's not going to say, well, you lousy bum, why don't you treat her right? He's going to say, yeah, boy, I know, have another one. Support, that's what he's going to get. And that's why he goes down there. You see what I'm saying? Nobody down in the bar is going to say, well, you bum, you know, why don't you treat her right? He's going to say, yeah, my old lady's the same way, you know. And the next day when they see each other at work, They're not even going to talk about it. It's a non-threatening support group. You know? But you come to your average, independent, fundamental Baptist church, and Joe Doakes goes over to Jim Doakes and says, My wife and I are really having problems. And Jim goes home and tells his wife and the deacon and the assistant pastor, you know, I think I better let you know, you know, that Joe's really having some marital problems. You know, we were gonna make him a deacon, but I think we better be careful. Huh? Ain't that the way it works? Sure it is. That's tragic. The trouble is, all of us need to realize that we're all in the same mess together. You know? That's why, you know, if you just get up and be honest with each other and say, look, we're all having struggles here, you know, and most of the folks that we think that are total successes are about to go under like the rest of us, okay? And it's by the grace of God that we're keeping our nose above water. And we just need to trust the Lord. And those that are strong, you know, need to help those that are weak. And those that are weak at times when they're not weak can help somebody that's weaker than them. And we all work together and be honest with each other and swallow this pride and recognize that we all got to grow and be strong. We'll be a lot better off, I believe. I really do. But there are a lot of hurting people. Even in our fellowship, there are a lot of hurting people that don't want to talk about their pain because that pain is somehow a badge of dishonor. You know, I really, I don't have a whole lot of patience with this Christianity that is worn as a trophy. You know, listen folks, this is not a museum. This is an emergency room. Okay? That's what we are here. Okay? Let's don't ever forget that. This is a hospital. Okay? It's full of sick people. Okay? Yes, sir? I think it's wonderful that we're the bride of Christ and we're sort of a medium Yeah, that's right. That's right. You see, that's it. Boy, what a beautiful picture that is. That's what God is doing for us, his bride. Same thing every man ought to be doing for his bride. Tom Williams, what an illustration of that. You know, without spot or blemish. I'll never forget what Wayne Van Gelderen said to me one time. He was telling me about the sickness his wife went through. She was wracked with cancer, and she was at the point of death, and he just went to the Lord, and he says, Lord, he says, don't take her yet. He said, I still want to help her some. He said, there's some things we're working on. He wasn't being critical or unkind. He says, there's just a few things we're working on here, and I'd just like to help her a little more in this area. And he really meant that. He really meant that. He didn't mean that there was something wrong with her. He meant he wanted to love her a little bit and just make her beautiful. That's the key to it right there. Anne? That may be part of it. You know, that's another thing. I think that we lack skills, Anne. I think we lack skills in knowing how to help people. We also, we're all carrying so many burdens that we tend to want to dispatch other people's problems quickly. In other words, we tend to treat other people's problems like a mosquito, you know, rather than a wound that needs to heal. In other words, somebody brings a problem to us and we say, OK, here's what you do with that. Whack, you know, and here's the answer to it. And I think sometimes we we do have sort of a sort of a mustard plaster, you know, compassion about ourselves that say, well, you know, here's what you need. Just take a good dose of this, you know, and, you know, you'll be fine, you know. And I think the reason we do that is because we have so many things going on of our own. and so many problems, but you're right. I think we tend to abrade each other more than we do help. You have a follow-up on that? That's right. That's right. That's right. I think we're moving in that direction. I do. I think our church, and I'm sure this is true of other churches too, I think our church is catching on to some of that. And I see some of that taking place. And I see more of it. And I hope there will be even more of it. And I hope that we'll continue to grow in that area. And I hope that as we have these times of transparency and honesty and things like this, that we will be able to go to each other more. Several hands. Bernie? I don't think we do. I think some do. That's my point. Sure. Yeah, I think that's a good balance. I really do. I think, though, that the thing we're coming to here is that we're all struggling to help our children. And sometimes we spend more time concentrating on our own problems than we do concentrating on the needs of our children. And the reason that we do that is because we grew up with problems that we never did get worked out. And so we spend a lot of time. Now the truth of the matter is, it takes a lot of time to work those things out once you have to do it as an adult. It's a lot easier to help children get these problems resolved than it is to help adults get these problems resolved. No question about it. And the point we're getting to is that an awful lot of adults still have so many needs in their own lives. And I don't necessarily think that everybody, you know, all the mature Christians necessarily ought to get on a guilt trip because the weak Christians have needs. You know, I think we're all struggling in this thing. But I think it does help us from time to time to be reminded of these principles and to think them through and to be a little more Christ-like in our responses. Had a couple more hands. And by the way, my battery's dead here, so if I get to running low here or running short, start leaving or something, okay? Yes? Yeah, right. You know, so one of the things, let me just confess my sins here, okay? One of the things that I do, I'm involved in an awful lot of things, okay? And there are several reasons why I am. You know, my public response, and this is true too, is that I really want to help people. And I really want to be involved in various types of ministry. But I also am aware, in my own heart, my family's aware of this too, that I get involved in a lot of things where I can succeed because I need some successes to compensate for an awful lot of failures that I'm trying to undo. You understand that? And as a result of that, I make myself so busy and I can't be a good listener sometimes. You see, and that's that thing of, you know, I got all these projects going on and I can always find ways to justify them and say, well, this guy needs me and that guy needs me. And, you know, all these people need me over here when the truth of the matter is I really need to be needed, you know, and I'm going there to meet my own need to be needed. And while I'm meeting my own need to be needed, the people that really need me can't get to me sometimes. You see how that works? Now, I know that's true in my own life, and that's one of the reasons over the past few months I've tried to get myself out of some of those things to be around here to meet a few more needs of the folks here that God put me here to meet the needs of. That's a bad sentence, but you know what I mean. Okay? And God's been blessing that in some ways, too. And I want you to keep praying for me about that. That's an area in my life where, you know, I need to go and do what God's told me to do rather than getting involved in those things that are so easy to legitimize but really help me. You know what I'm saying? That's not bad to do those things, but it is a distraction sometimes. Yes, sir. That's it. That's right. You know, when I graduated from college, I remember how I felt when I put on my cap and gown. You know how I felt? I felt dumb. That's how I felt. I remember putting on my cap and gown and thinking, Man, I thought I was going to be smart when I was a college graduate. And here I am. You know, I'm an imposter. I'm getting ready to march down there and get that sheepskin and I don't know very much. In fact, I've been in school learning how much I don't know. And you know, I thought that, you know, once I got over that, everything would be okay. But I have had that experience repeatedly. And I'm coming to the conclusion that I'm going to keep having that experience. And probably one of these days when I, you know, the Lord carries and gives me the opportunity and I look down at one of my grandchildren, I'm going to feel the same way about becoming a grandparent that I've been feeling about being a parent. And I'm, you know, and about the time that I get around to my deathbed, if I live that long, you know what I mean? In order to have one, okay. Don't die suddenly. You know, and I'm an old man and I look at, I'm going to look back on it and think, You know, too soon old and too late smart, like the German philosopher said. Alexander Throckmorton, you heard me quote that before. Edgar Lee Masters is a profane man, but he wrote a series of poems called The Spoon River Anthology, and there is one in there that says this so well. This was a series of epitaphs that appeared on the tombstones of people who were buried outside on the hill. Remember, any of you read that in your literature? Okay, and Alexander Throckmorton said, In youth, I did not know the mountains, but my wings were strong and tireless. With age, I learned the mountains, but my weary wings could not follow my vision. Boy, that's good, isn't it? Isn't that the way it is in life? Yeah, oh man, I mean, I know how to do all these things, but I don't want to anymore. I'd rather sit down and read a book. But that's kind of the way it is. About the time that you figure out how to do these things and you become wise, Well, you know, but how do you get wisdom? It's like the banker told his son, you know, he was taking over the bank. He said, dad, you know, boy, I just don't know if I'm going to be able to handle this bank. And he says, how do I keep the bank solvent? He said, son, you must make wise decisions. He said, yeah, but dad, how do I make wise decisions? He said, experience. He said, yeah, but how do I get experience? He said, unwise decisions. That's the way it works. Isn't that it? Now, again, we did it again, folks. We reviewed the first three. But that's where they are. The rest of them will fall into line. If you can get those three, if we can do it for ourselves. Now, the point is, it's very hard to teach our kids these things if we're trying to learn them ourselves. And here's what we got to do, folks. We got to get serious. about submission to God. We got to go to the Lord and say, Lord, I don't have a whole lot of time left and I can't be learning this thing about OJT at the expense of my kids. I've got to have some wisdom and I've got to get this thing going and I got to get it going now. So Lord, help me to overrule my stupidity and my stubbornness and all of my hangups and help me just to do what's right and then start getting in the book and doing what it says. And you see, you know, you can get by being awfully ignorant if you just obey the Bible. Mean you just say this what the Bible says I'm gonna do that and you know It doesn't really matter a whole lot whether you understand it or not You know, if you just do what it says, you know, well, then you're gonna you're gonna be as though you knew because this is wisdom right here and We can have the wisdom of Solomon. We'll just read it obey it now right in that beautiful that you can have the wisdom of a wise old man and if you'll just obey the book, because that's what this book is. It's the wisdom of God. All right, time's gone. Hang on to these principles, and next time we get together, we'll get into growing old. We've already gotten into it a little bit. Okay, this series is growing old, I think. All right, let's stand and be dismissed in prayer. Father, thank you for the time together today. Help us, Lord, I pray, to be honest and sincere about ourselves, Not to be self-deprecating and to be proud of our humility, but Lord, to be sincere as we seek to have your wisdom and do what's right. Lord, give us a conviction for obedience to the book. We know that's the answer. And Lord, we know that if we'll do what you've told us to do and trust you, that that is all that is required. So help us to be obedient in that area and convict us and show us our wrongdoing. Lord, bless our children and protect them from our selfish defense of our inabilities in Jesus name. Amen. I are really having problems. And Jim goes home and tells his wife and the deacon and the assistant pastor, you know, I think I better let you know, you know, that Joe's really having some marital problems. You know, we were going to make him a deacon, but I think we better be careful. Huh? Is that the way it works? Sure it is. That's tragic. The trouble is all of us need to realize that we're all in the same mess together. You know, that's why, you know, if you just get up and be honest with each other and say, look, we're all having struggles here, you know, and most of the folks that we think that are total successes are about to go under like the rest of us. Okay. And it's by the grace of God that we're keeping our nose above water. And we just need to trust the Lord and those that are strong, you know, need to help those that are weak. And those that are weak at times, when they're not weak and help somebody that's weaker than them and we all work together and be honest with each other and swallow this pride and recognize that we all got to grow and be strong, we'll be a lot better off, I believe. I really do. But there are a lot of hurting people. Even in our fellowship, there are a lot of hurting people that don't want to talk about their pain because that pain is somehow a badge of dishonor. You know, I really, I don't have a whole lot of patience with this Christianity that is worn as a trophy. You know, listen folks, this is not a museum. This is an emergency room. Okay? That's what we are here. Okay? Let's don't ever forget that. This is a hospital. Okay? And full of sick people. Okay? Yes, sir? Yeah, that's right. That's right. You see, that's it. Boy, what a beautiful picture that is. That's what God is doing for us, his bride. Same thing every man ought to be doing for his bride. Tom Williams, what an illustration of that. You know, without spot or blemish. I'll never forget what Wayne Van Gelderen said to me one time. He was telling me about the sickness his wife went through. She was wracked with cancer, and she was at the point of death. And he just went to the Lord, and he says, Lord, he says, don't take her yet. He said, I still want to help her some. He said, there are some things we're working on. He wasn't being critical or unkind. He says, there's just a few things we're working on here, and I'd just like to help her a little more in this area. And he really meant that. He really meant that. He didn't mean that there was something wrong with her. He meant he wanted to love her a little bit and just make her beautiful. That's the key to it right there. Ann? That may be part of it. You know, that's another thing. I think that we lack skills, Ann. I think we lack skills in knowing how to help people. We also, we're all carrying so many burdens that we tend to want to dispatch other people's problems quickly. In other words, we tend to treat other people's problems like a mosquito, you know, rather than a wound that needs to heal. In other words, somebody brings a problem to us and we say, okay, here's what you do with that, whack, you know, and here's the answer to it. And I think sometimes we do have sort of a mustard plaster, you know, compassion about ourselves that say, well, you know, here's what you need, just take a good dose of this, you know, and you'll be fine, you know. And I think the reason we do that is because we have so many things going on of our own. and so many problems, but you're right. I think we tend to abrade each other more than we do help. You have a follow-up on that? That's right. That's right. That's right. I think we're moving in that direction. I do. I think our church, and I'm sure this is true of other churches too, I think our church is catching on to some of that. And I see some of that taking place. I see more of it. And I hope there will be even more of it. And I hope that we'll continue to grow in that area. And I hope that as we have these times of transparency and honesty and things like this, that we will be able to go to each other more. Several hands. Bernie? I don't think we do. I think some do. That's my point. Sure. Yeah, I think that's a good balance. I really do. I think, though, that the thing we're coming to here is that we're all struggling to help our children. And sometimes we spend more time concentrating on our own problems than we do concentrating on the needs of our children. And the reason that we do that is because we grew up with problems that we never did get worked out. And so we spend a lot of time. Now, the truth of the matter is, it takes a lot of time to work those things out. have to do it as an adult. It's a lot easier to help children get these problems resolved than it is to help adults get these problems resolved. No question about it. And the point we're getting to is that an awful lot of adults still have so many needs in their own lives. And I don't necessarily think that everybody, you know, all the mature Christians necessarily ought to get on a guilt trip because the weak Christians have needs. You know, I think we're all struggling in this thing. But I think it does help us from time to time to be reminded of these principles and to think them through and to be a little more Christ-like in our responses. Had a couple more hands. And by the way, my battery's dead here, so if I get to running low here or running short, you know, start leaving or something, okay? Yes. Yeah, right. You know, so one of the things, let me just, you know, confess my sins here, okay? One of the things that I do, I'm involved in an awful lot of things, okay? And there are several reasons why I am. You know, my public response, and this is true too, is that I really want to help people. And I really want to be involved in various types of ministry. But I also am aware, in my own heart, my family's aware of this too, that I get involved in a lot of things where I can succeed because I need some successes to compensate for an awful lot of failures that I'm trying to undo. Understand that? And as a result of that, I make myself so busy that I can't be a good listener sometimes. You see, and that's that thing of, you know, I got all these projects going on and I can always find ways to justify them and say, well, this guy needs me and that guy needs me. And, you know, all these people need me over here when the truth of the matter is I really need to be needed, you know, and I'm going there to meet my own need to be needed. And while I'm meeting my own need to be needed, the people that really need me can't get to me sometimes. You see how that works? Now, I know that's true in my own life. And that's one of the reasons over the past few months I've tried to get myself out of some of those things to be around here to meet a few more needs of the folks here that God put me here to meet the needs of. That's a bad sentence, but you know what I mean. Okay? And God's been blessing that in some ways, too. And I want you to keep praying for me about that. That's an area in my life where, you know, I need to go and do what God's told me to do rather than getting involved in those things that are so easy to legitimize but really help me. You know what I'm saying? That's not bad to do those things, but it is a distraction sometimes. Yes, sir? You know, when I graduated from college, I remember how I felt when I put on my cap and gown. You know how I felt? I felt dumb. That's how I felt. I remember putting on my cap and gown and thinking, man, I thought I was going to be smart when I was a college graduate. And here I am. You know, I'm an imposter. I'm getting ready to march down there and get that sheepskin, and I don't know very much. In fact, I've been in school learning how much I don't know. And you know, I thought that, you know, once I got over that, everything would be okay. But I have had that experience repeatedly. And I'm coming to the conclusion that I'm going to keep having that experience. And probably one of these days when I, you know, if the Lord carries and gives me the opportunity, and I look down at one of my grandchildren, I'm going to feel the same way about becoming a grandparent that I've been feeling about being a parent. And about the time that I get around to my deathbed, if I live that long, you know what I mean? In order to have one. Don't die suddenly. And I'm an old man, and I'm going to look back on it and think, too soon old and too late smart. Like the German philosopher Alexander Throckmorton. You've heard me quote that before. Edgar Lee Masters is a profane man. But he wrote a series of poems called The Spoon River Anthology. And there is one in there that says this so well. This was a series of epitaphs that appeared on the tombstones of people who were buried outside on the hill. Remember, any of you read that in your literature? And Alexander Throckmorton said, in youth I did not know the mountains.