Go ahead and take your Bible and turn to Genesis chapter 1. Boy, I am excited about this weekend. We've been looking forward to this and just spending time together studying God's Word and learning about what God says about the family and specifically what it is that he's called us to do. And so, tonight or this afternoon, we are beginning with A session on marriage. Marriage, God's covenant design. Actually, Michael and Heather, I've got a PowerPoint that I sent to the email if you want to put it up there, but you don't have to. It's okay, I didn't tell you about it. So don't worry about it. Nothing like a last minute surprise. No worries. Genesis chapter one. So tonight, we're gonna be looking at marriage, and I'd like for this to be practical, but in order for us to really understand what it is that God has called us to do in marriage, I think it's important that we get really a 30,000 foot view of marriage. And so hopefully, as we kinda get this big picture view of what marriage is and what God has called us to do, that's going to then enable us to be able to live out his calling. And hopefully, if you're not married here this afternoon, you'll see that even some of these truths are applicable really to all of us. Because marriage is one of those things that God has designed to bring him glory. We'll talk about that here in just a little bit. But I want to begin with this. Recently, 45 married couples, most of them had been married for many years, some of them 10, 20, even 30 years, they were asked to share their secret to a successful, long-lasting marriage. And that's a good question. I mean, when you see somebody who has a successful marriage, you want to ask them, what are you doing? What's working for you? What's your key? So here's what some of them said. I just thought these were great. I wanted to read them to you. A couple who had been married 22 years had found that this was their key to a successful marriage. They said, have your own separate hobbies. That was the key. Another said it was important to find a way to split up the household chores. Seems like a very practical solution. One couple who had been married 26 years had discovered this key. They said, if talking doesn't work, try texting. How many of you are buying that one? I don't know if I'm buying it. Here's a solid piece of advice from another couple. They said, make date night sacred. I like that. And yet on the heels of that, one couple who had been married a full 22 years had concluded that this was the key. Self-love must come first, they said. Some of the advice had to do with how you talk to each other. One said, be polite. Another said, don't ever mention the D word, referring to divorce, of course. One couple said, you should always be prepared to say, in any conversation, you're right. And then another said, in any conversation, you should always be prepared to say, no. So I guess you've got to figure out when is the right time to say those two things. I love this one. One couple who had been married 13 years offered this very practical key to their successful marriage. They said, don't talk to them while they're using the bathroom. I think that feels like it's spoken from experience. And then one couple of 22 years offered three simple words as their key. They said, king-size bed. That was the key to a successful marriage. I thought that was fun to read through those. Some of the advice is good, some of it's terrible, but it's just interesting to be able to see kind of what people think has worked for them in marriage. What's your key to a successful marriage? But I think even when we ask that question, there's actually two burning questions right underneath the surface that we're not asking. The first is this, why is it that we feel the need to even ask that question? Right, like why when we're in a restaurant and we see an elderly couple who's been married for 40 years and they're happy, they're not throwing stuff at each other, we want to go up to them and say, what'd you do? What's your key? How did you last so long in your successful marriage? Why is that? Why is it that we wanna go ask them that question? Well, it is because, I think we all know this, marriages in our society today, and even in the church, are often, we would consider, unsuccessful. I mean, you break open the outer shell of just about any marriage, and it's possible that you will see harsh words, or corrosive bitterness, or outbursts of anger, maybe recurring unfaithfulness, or sometimes even the rumblings of divorce. And some of you have even lived that. And that's why we want to know the secret, right? We're asking about the secret, the key, because marriages are often unsuccessful. But then that brings us to a second burning question. What even is a successful marriage, right? I mean, could it be that marriages are failing today because we don't even know the goal that we're aiming for? I mean, you ask your average newlywed what the goal of marriage is, and what are they gonna say? They're probably gonna say, well, something like real happiness or lifelong friendship. Nice goals, but is that actually the goal? Because a marriage with the wrong goal will ultimately be unsuccessful. So this afternoon, we're gonna consider this important question. What's the goal of marriage, and then how do we get there? But we're not gonna ask newlyweds. We're not gonna ask aging couples. We are going to ask the God who invented marriage. We're gonna ask him, what's the goal? What did you design marriage to be? And then what's the key? How do we get there? And what we're gonna see is that marriage, as God designed it, isn't actually about us at all. Marriage was designed to bring God glory. And the key is the gospel. And we're gonna look at that key, the gospel key, in three truths this afternoon. And really, these truths are truths that you know very well. It's the story of the Bible. And if you're taking notes, these are gonna be the points. God created marriage, and it's a good thing. Sin damaged marriage, and it's a hard thing. And Jesus redeems marriage, And it's a glorious thing. God created it, and it's good. Sin damaged it, and it's hard. Jesus redeems it, and it is glorious. And we're gonna conclude, hopefully, with some practical applications based on those truths. And let me encourage you, if you are not married here this afternoon, could I encourage you to still listen very carefully? Because what we're gonna find is that marriage actually exists to showcase the glory of your creator, God. God designed marriage so that you would look at it and then look at God. And so you have the opportunity to do that today regardless of your marital status. As you see God's design for marriage, what you're actually going to see is God at work in the gospel, and in so doing, you're gonna get to know God better. So if you wanna know God, one place that you can look is his design for marriage. So let's begin. Marriage exists to bring God glory, and if you want to bring God glory, you need to know this first key truth, which is going to pave the way for the gospel, and that is this, God created marriage, and it's a good thing. In the first chapter of your Bible, that's where you are right now, what you see is the triune God creating the whole universe, and then what he does at the end is he actually creates you and me, humanity, as the capstone to his creation. Isn't that crazy? We are the capstone to God's creation. And when he makes us humans, he makes us with a specific purpose. You know this well, but I think it does good for us to rehearse this. Look at Genesis 1, verse 26. Genesis 1, verse 26, it says, So God created man in his own image. In the image of God, he created him. Male and female, he created them. And God blessed them. And God said to them, be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth. What do we see here in these verses? Well, a basic truth. We see God creating you and me in his image, which means that we are here to actually reflect him. It's like humans are all of these little mirrors all over the face of the earth reflecting God in his glory. How are we supposed to do that? Well, he goes on to say that we do that by ruling, by having dominion, by cultivating the earth in such a way that we bring God glory. We could say it this way, we're here to make the world a better place. And then he says, we're supposed to turn around and fill the world with more people who do that. So if you ever wonder why you exist, this is why. This is why you're on planet Earth. You exist to bring God glory. You say, well, I know that. But if you keep reading, you actually encounter sort of an obstacle, almost like the first problem in the Bible, when Adam in chapter two goes to do these things. He's put in the garden to work and to keep it, but he's alone. And then God says in Genesis 2 verse 18, it is not good that the man should be alone. I will make him a helper fit for him. And in the next few verses, we watch the triune God officiating the first wedding. Look at verse 21 of chapter two, verse 21. It says, And then the man said, she shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. And then Moses, the one writing this book, narrates this, he remarks, therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife and they shall become one flesh. So whatever we just saw is gonna be prototypical for the rest of humanity's existence. Well, what did we just see? We just watched the first marriage ceremony. And what did it look like? Well, there was one man, And there was one woman, and God joins them together into a lifelong monogamous relationship. That is marriage. God invented it, and he designed it, and it's good. And he invented it for a purpose. Why did he do this? He invented it to glorify him. I mean, think about it, the husband and the wife, they're both created with the same purpose. Male, female, we've got the same purpose. We are made in the image of God, and we're both given rule over the earth. That means we are co-rulers. You got a king, you got a queen, and we're both tasked with being fruitful over God's creation. We both have the same purpose. But I want you to notice also that the husband and the wife, the male and the female, are created differently. They're created with different roles within marriage that actually help us to achieve the purpose for which God created us. And the differences are intentionally designed for maximum glory. God made man and woman different, male and female, to maximize his glory. While the husband is given the oversight of working and keeping the garden, the wife here, what's she called? What did you see? She's called his helper. Now I think we get a little bit tripped up with that word helper because in our modern context, helper kind of reminds us of like a toddler in the kitchen, right? A big helper. But that's not the way helper is being used here. That word helper actually carries the idea of a strong support. In fact, it's most often used to describe God. A strong support, a reinforcement, a delivering ally that turns the tide of the battle. Picture this with me. Picture like a battlefield, let's say you're commanding an army, and there's the enemy army, and you're being pushed back, and you're losing forces all the time, and then like over the crest of this hill, you see the flag of an ally, right? And then as that flag rises, you see thousands of troops of your ally forces, and they come down and they join you, and instead of retreating before the enemy, you actually turn the tide of the battle together. That's what the wife does. She is a delivering ally. She comes along and she actually supports the husband in such a way that she reinforces him and turns the tide of a battle. Think rebar in a concrete structure. She is reinforcing him. And so the husband and the wife together then are able to maximize God's glory by reflecting him on earth. Do you see what a good plan this is? Marriage was created by God to help us fulfill our purpose here on planet earth. And it's a good thing. Now, you might be single right now, and you might be thinking, wait, do you have to be married in order to accomplish our purpose for being here? Well, absolutely not, right? because God has given all of us the command to bear his image, and that actually precedes the first marriage. But we also shouldn't shy away from the fact that marriage was actually intentionally created as a powerful tool to help you and me bear God's image and glorify him. Marriage is a good thing. I remember one time talking to a coworker about this. She and I both worked on the same marketing team in the business that we worked for. And she was in a long-term relationship living with a man who was not her husband. And so I asked her if she was considering marrying the man. And she said to me, she said, we don't need marriage to prove our commitment to each other. And then she went on to say, she said, in fact, marriage actually just complicates things. It would only complicate our lives. Do you see what she was thinking? In her mind, marriage was actually an obstacle to avoid. Is that God's view of marriage? No, he says that marriage is actually his idea and it's very good. And it's not good because we think it's good or because it makes us happy or because it makes us feel more fulfilled. It's good because God created it to help us glorify him. And it could be that right here at the beginning, you might need to sweep away some misconceptions that you've had about marriage. Maybe you went into marriage thinking that somehow it was gonna help you feel more fulfilled or happy, and that was the goal. But remember this, marriage actually isn't about you. It's way bigger than that. It is a lifelong covenant that brings God maximum glory. Marriage is a good thing. That's the first truth. God created marriage, but I have to tell you a second truth, and it's one that you all know well, and it's one that you live every day, and that is this, sin damaged marriage. And because of that, it's a hard thing. After that very first wedding, the first couple decided that they were going to do life their way, right? They were going to rebel against God's rules and make their own decisions. That's what we call sin. They reject God's good plan. And the day that sin entered the world was the day that all of creation fractured, and that included marriage. In fact, look at this with me, Genesis 3. Can you turn to Genesis 3, next chapter? Look at verse 16. God's talking to the woman, and first he talks about her pain and childbearing. Look at what he says, to the woman he said, I will surely multiply your pain and childbearing, and pain you shall bring forth children. And then he talks about marriage. Look what he says, your desire shall be for, and you probably have a footnote there, don't you? If you look down at the bottom in your footnote, it says against. Your desire shall be contrary to your husband. And he shall then rule over you. These aren't good results, are they? You remember those differences that we talked about between man and woman, male and female? Well, those were supposed to be good differences. Those were supposed to be differences that actually, when combined, provided maximum glory to our creator. But when sin enters the world, those very good differences between male and female, husband and wife, actually become the point of contention. Did you see that? Instead of loving and leading his wife like he's supposed to do, we husbands are now tempted to use and dominate our wives. Instead of submitting and helping their husbands, wives are now tempted to usurp and manipulate their husbands. The very thing that God created to be so good has now become a point of contention. Even though marriage was created to help us glorify God, you're a sinner and I'm a sinner and our sin has damaged our marriages. What was once a powerful tool for bringing God's glory, God glory has now become a minefield. Do you remember the day that you discovered that your spouse was a sinner? I mean like in a big way. It probably didn't surprise you, right? Like you knew that. You knew she was a sinner. You knew he was a sinner. But I would guess that you saw your spouse's sin more clearly after marriage than you did before marriage. Am I right? Is that a correct assumption? When you're a sinner, marrying another sinner, what happens is that very close relationship is going to bring out your failures. It doesn't create the failures. It merely brings out what was already there. What was once hidden and under the surface is then brought to light and exposed and it's not pleasant. When two sinners enter into such a close covenant with each other, what happens is that relationship becomes a pressure cooker, right? And pressure cookers can do really good things, and pressure cookers can do really bad things. And it depends on what's inside the pressure cooker, right? And that's the way marriage is, because you've got one sinner marrying another sinner, and they enter into this very pressure cooker situation, what ends up happening is it damages that relationship. And if you're married here today, that explains why marriage is sometimes difficult. And that explains why marriages around us are crumbling. In fact, that explains why every single one of us living on planet earth today has to some extent a broken marriage, right? It's because sin has damaged marriage. Tim Keller says this, he says, you will never marry the right person. That feels a little blunt, doesn't it? Because you're a sinner and they're a sinner. And not a day will pass that you don't somehow experience the effects of sin in your marriage. Sin has damaged marriage, and because of that, marriage is very hard. But here's the good news. There's a third truth about marriage, and it's really this truth that is just at the heart of the gospel. Jesus redeems marriage, and it is glorious. In fact, go ahead and turn to Ephesians. All the way in the New Testament, Ephesians chapter five. God, because he created marriage to bring him glory, he has a vested interest in marriage, doesn't he? And though sin has damaged marriage, God isn't done with marriage yet. And what has happened is through the gospel, through Jesus and his work on the cross, God has actually redeemed marriage. And there is no passage that I think so clearly displays what a truly Christian marriage should look like than Ephesians chapter five. Ephesians chapter five is where you are. In this passage, we're gonna see what a Christian marriage looks like, and really, we're gonna see this. Through Jesus, three things have happened to your marriage. This is a part of point number three. Sorry about all the threes. Got three points, and these are three things that have happened to your marriage through Jesus. We're gonna see, first of all, that a Christian marriage has power. A Christian marriage has power. You're in Ephesians chapter five. This is a description of the way a Christian husband and wife are called to relate to each other. And as I read through this, I actually want you to listen, not to what the husband's supposed to do necessarily, and not to what the wife is supposed to do, but I want you to listen to how many times this passage about marriage mentions Jesus. Are you ready? In fact, if you've got maybe something to underline with, maybe you could underline it. Here we go, verse 22. Ephesians 5, 22, how many times does it mention Jesus? Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church. and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself, for no one ever hated his own flesh. but nourishes and cherishes it just as Christ does the church because we are members of his body. Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Do you see that? It is everywhere. Jesus is all over this passage. In fact, you probably didn't do this, but if you were to count the English words, you got 216 words in here. You wanna guess how many words refer to Jesus? A full 106 of these are somehow about Jesus. That is nearly 50% of this passage about marriage that's about Jesus. You know, that's why we call it a Christian marriage. It's not a Christian marriage because somehow it follows this little set of rules or because it looks a certain way. It's a Christian marriage because it's all about Jesus. Because Jesus redeems our marriage. In fact, let's try something. This is terrible what we're about to do. Let's remove Jesus from this passage for a second. Don't try this at home. We're gonna remove Jesus and we're gonna see what happens to this passage when Jesus is removed from it. You ready? Here we go, this is terrible. Wives, submit to your own husbands. For the husband is the head of the wife. Wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives. Husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself, for no one ever hated his own flesh but nourishes and cherishes it. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother, hold fast to his wife, the two shall become one flesh. The mystery is profound. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Did you see what just happened? The life just got sucked right out of that passage. And it could be that some of you have been trying to operate your marriage like this. It could be that you've been trying husbands to love your wives or wives to relate correctly to your husbands and it is hard and you are failing and you don't know what's wrong. Could it be that you've been trying to operate your marriage without Jesus? It is clear from Ephesians chapter five, let's go back to the correct way to read this. It is clear from Ephesians chapter five that it is Jesus and Jesus alone who can redeem broken marriages like yours and like mine. How did Jesus do this? He did this through an event we call the gospel. When Jesus, the Son of God, shows up on planet Earth, he is here to redeem his fallen creation. And this passage tells us in particular that he is here to find for himself a bride. What kind of bride? Here to find a beautiful bride? What he finds is somebody, a group of people that is defiled and rebellious, but he wants them. and through his perfect life, his atoning death, his victorious resurrection, he actually redeems her for himself. He redeems you and me. He forgives our rebellion against him. He washes it away with his blood. He lays down his life for his bride, and he makes her part of his kingdom. And this is crazy, he actually makes her a part of his new creation. If any man be in Christ, he's a new creation, a new husband, a new wife with new desires coming from the Holy Spirit living inside of us. That's what Jesus does. In fact, we could say that's the main event. If anything, marriage points to that. And that husband or wife is your source of power in your marriage. So, what's the starting point? What's like base level starting point? It's not for you to go home and get to work and try to get your act together as a married couple if you are one. Your starting point is to go back to the source of your power in marriage. First, you need a relationship with Jesus, right? I mean, you need to come to the point where you are converted. That means that you've repented of your sin, that you've said, Jesus, you're my Savior, I believe in you, I place all my hope in you, save me. You repent of your sin, you say, Jesus, you are my Lord. And this is not an external change, this is something that actually gets changed on the inside. And then what happens is Jesus begins to grow us from the inside. And that's the second thing, you need a growing relationship with Jesus. If you want your marriage to be successful, you need to start with your personal relationship with Jesus. And as Jesus grows you, as he changes you from the inside out, he actually transforms your marriage. This is what we call a Christian marriage. It's not Christian because that's just the label that's been attached to it. It's not Christian because it just looks a certain way. It is a marriage of those who have been redeemed by Jesus Christ, are being empowered by Jesus Christ, and are ruled by Jesus Christ. Because of Jesus, a Christian marriage has power. That's your power, but power to do what? What's the goal, right? We saw that the goal at the beginning was to bring glory to God, but now Jesus has come. He's the perfect groom. Gathering his bride, is marriage even, does it have a purpose anymore? Well, we find that Christian marriage not only has power, but get this, a Christian marriage is also a picture. And that's what we see actually in this text. Did you catch it? Paul says in verse, let's see, where are we? Chapter five, verse 32. He says, this mystery is profound, and then he says very clearly, I am saying that it, marriage, refers to Christ and the church. Do you see what Paul is actually saying here? He's saying that all along, ever since the very beginning, marriage was designed not to be an end in itself, that's not the goal, but to be a picture of a far greater reality, the gospel of Jesus Christ. Your marriage is supposed to picture the gospel. Back to Tim Keller. This is the secret, he says, that the gospel of Jesus and marriage explain one another. That when God invented marriage, he already had the saving work of Jesus in mind. So now, the way you, a Christian husband and wife, relate to each other, what are you doing? Well, you are actually forming a high-definition picture of the gospel of Jesus Christ by the way you relate. If you're a Christian and you're married, your marriage actually exists to shine a spotlight on Jesus and his gospel. My wife and I like to watch trailers to movies, and sometimes when we can't decide what movie to watch, we just keep watching trailers, that's just what we do. So when you watch a trailer, what are you getting a picture of? You're watching a preview of the real thing, but it's not the real thing, it's just a snapshot of the real thing, right? That's kind of what marriage is. Marriage is a trailer or a preview that when people watch it, when they look at your marriage, they say, oh, I see, there's a real thing coming. A preview that just gives you a snapshot of the good news of Jesus Christ. Well, how do we do that? That feels like a pretty tall order. Well, Paul tells you. Look back at verse 22. You're in Ephesians 5, verse 22. What does he say? Verse 24, now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. What he's saying here is that when a wife submits to her husband, she is actually picturing the gospel of Jesus Christ and the very lordship of the king of the universe. Picture with me a Christian wife, and she's married to an imperfect husband. Can you believe it? He's a sinner, he's saved by grace, but he is still imperfect. And let's say that he realizes, boy, I'm here to exercise biblical authority in my home, I'm here to work and keep this garden that God has put me in, and so he makes a decision to begin to exercise authority in the home. And he begins to make decisions that his wife doesn't quite understand or agree with. She asks questions, she gets a little more clarity, but maybe there's one decision and she still fundamentally disagrees because her idea is better. But she comes to the point where she says this, you know what? Jesus is my Lord and I love him. And I choose to submit to my husband so that the whole world can see that Jesus is the King of the universe and the Lord of his church. So that the world can see the beauty of the gospel. What's she doing? Well, she, in a way that you won't see anywhere else, is picturing the gospel. And if you're a wife here, this is your job, to picture the gospel, and listen, that is only possible through dependence on Jesus Christ. As your husband's helper, you are called to lovingly respect and submit to him, and the way that you do this actually gives the whole world a picture of the good news. What about verse 25? What about husbands? Look at verse 25. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water by the word. And we could go on. He's called to love his wife sacrificially, attentively, committedly, being in tune to her every need. When a husband self-sacrificially loves his wife, when he dies to his own desires, his own plans, he's actually picturing the gospel and the way Jesus laid down his life for his bride. Picture with me a Christian husband. He wants to do the right thing, he wants to serve his wife, but surprisingly she's a sinner. And sometimes she does or say things that makes it hard for him to serve her. Maybe she has even hurt him with her words. But then he remembers what Jesus did for him, what Jesus did for his bride when she was defiled, when she was running from him, how Jesus sought her and loved her and laid down his very life for her. And the husband comes to the point where he says this, he says, you know what, Jesus is my Lord and I love him. and I choose to die to myself today so that I can committedly and self-sacrificially serve my wife. It's not going to be easy, but Jesus did it for me and he will help me do it for her. What is that husband doing? Well, according to this text, he's actually picturing the gospel. He's this trailer, this preview for the gospel. And if you're a husband here today, this is your job. And it is only possible through dependence on Jesus Christ. As the leader and head of your home, you're actually called to love and protect your wife. What kind of love are we talking about? Paul says it, it's self-sacrificial, it's self-emptying, it's self-denying. It's the kind of love that led Jesus to actually lay down his life for his bride. And the way you do this, giving up your own desires and plans, forgiving if necessary, gives the whole world a picture of the good news. And can I talk to those of you who aren't married here yet and you hope to be one day, if that's you, then you can actually begin today to love Jesus above all else and self-sacrificially lay down your life for other people. You can begin this today. Now, right about now, you might be thinking, that all sounds really nice, but I cannot do that. I mean, where the rubber meets the road, on my typical day, those kinds of things are unattainable for me. And if you're thinking that, then you're spot on, right? You can't, you can't do it. But let's not forget what makes up about 50% of this passage. It's not you doing this. It is Jesus empowering you by his Holy Spirit who dwells in you. You are a picture for the gospel. But there's more. Not only does a Christian marriage picture the gospel, but by God's grace, a Christian marriage does something else too. It actually prepares husbands and wives for the biggest day of their lives. The day that they stand before Jesus face to face. A Christian marriage is preparation. I want you to look with me at verse 25. Verses 25 through 27, it says, husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her that he might sanctify her. So he's making her holy, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word so that he might present the church to himself in splendor without spot or wrinkle or any such thing. that she might be holy and without blemish. You see, the love that a husband is supposed to have for his wife is not just sacrificial, it's not just selfless, it's also sanctifying. What do we mean by that? Well, it means that through the husband's work in his wife's life, he is actually preparing her and helping her to become more holy, to be ready for the day she stands before her ultimate groom, Jesus Christ. In that sense, your marriage is a ministry. If you're married here this afternoon, the Spirit is actually using your marriage to make you and your spouse more like Jesus. And that's not just because you're hard to live with, right? It's because you are actually using your words and actions to minister to your husband or wife. So husbands, you wake up every morning to a ministry. You are here to minister to your wife. Through your words, through your actions that day, you are actually helping your wife become more like Jesus and preparing her for the day that she sees Jesus. And you can do this with your words. Instead of tearing her down, use your words to build her up. You can take time to read the word with her and pray with her. You can listen to her worries and her struggles and then point her attention to Jesus. You can also do this with your actions. Just like Jesus, you can be quick to forgive and slow to anger. Let's say you're tired or worn out at the end of the day, you can stop what you're doing and come alongside and self-sacrificially help her. You can then intentionally serve and give to her so that she gets a clearer picture of what Jesus is like. And in the same way, wives, you wake up every morning to a ministry. You minister to your husband with your words. Instead of tearing her down, you seek to build him up. When he's struggling or fearful or stressed, you point him to Jesus. You also minister with your actions. You picture the gospel to him with your forgiveness, with your submission. Once again, you might be thinking, well, I can't do that. I'd like to read a brief story, actually an excerpt, from the journal of a pastor. His name was Tom Carson, and he was a long-time pastor in Quebec. And after he had been married to his wife, Marge, for many decades, she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, and her health began to fail, and he was her primary caretaker. And at one point during that time, he writes this, he says, I must really get a hold of Marge's needs. I must love her. And then he says this, here I must interject, oh, I have so much to learn about really loving my wife. The thought comes to my mind, does God ever ask his children to do that which is impossible for them? Then if he asks me, no, tells me to love my wife, then if I am really saved, really a child of God, I can with all the resources of what it means to be saved. Or if he tells me as a wife to submit myself to my own husband, then I can, or I am not a Christian. In this goes, God help me for everything he has outlined for his children. You see what he's saying? He's saying that through the gospel, through what Jesus has done, he's given you everything you need to fulfill this ministry of marriage. So in conclusion, what should you do? What are kind of your homework assignments as you go home? Well, I've got three kind of big bullet points here. Number one, if you're married here today, you should seek to grow together with your wife or husband. If you want to help each other grow, you must be personally growing. One of the most powerful ways that you can be a catalyst for change in the life of your spouse is to be changing yourself. to be a growing follower of Jesus Christ. So prioritize your time with God in his word and prayer. You might be thinking here today, I sure wish my spouse would change. If that's you, then the best place to start is to say, God, would you change me? Would you grow me? I wanna be more like Jesus. Number two, pray together. Think about this, your marriage is a platform upon which God wants to display his grace and glory. But it is also a platform upon which the enemy would love to dishonor God's name. In other words, a lot is at stake in your marriage. Too much. to try to do it without regularly coming to God in prayer. I would encourage you to bake prayer into your married life routines. Take time to pray together. Abby and I, we have decided to make an effort to pray together every night before we go to sleep. And sometimes we are super tired and the prayers are super lame, but we do it every night. And that has actually been this thing that's been baked into our schedule, and it's not super fervent sometimes, but it's not the amount of time or the fervency of prayer that matters, but rather the fact that you and your spouse are coming to God together, asking for his grace. He loves to answer the prayers of his children. And then number three, and this almost goes without saying, but it's something that we can forget. Stay together. Stay together. There will come a day when marriage gets hard, when it loses its luster. But as Andrew Peterson says in his song about marriage, Dancing in the Minefields, I'd encourage you to go and listen to it. He says that's what the promise is for. And it is the little things over the long haul that make the biggest differences in your marriage. And one of the most powerful things that you can do for your spouse is to simply stay put. To love them and love God over the long haul. Trust God and stay together. And one day you'll stand before God, and this work of transformation will be done, and pardon all the Tim Keller quotations, but here's another one. Tim Keller says this, when you get there, when you get to heaven, you will look at each other's magnificence and say, I always knew you could be like this. I got glimpses of it on earth, but now look at you. Let's read about that day, Revelation 19, verses six through nine. The Bible, did you know this? The Bible begins and ends with a marriage, Revelation 19 verse 6, She was given fine linen to wear, bright and pure, for the fine linen represents the righteous acts of the saints. Then he said to me, write, blessed are those invited to the marriage feast of the Lamb. He also said to me, these words of God are true. If you're a Christian, that's your future. One day you will meet the king of the universe, the groom himself. And I don't know what it's gonna look like if you're married, Maybe you'll have the privilege of presenting your spouse to him on that day. Maybe after you've faithfully ministered to each other over the long haul, you'll be able to say something like this. You gave us the job of preparing each other for this day. We've grown together, we've prayed together, we stayed together, and now here we are. And maybe it's then that you will join this vast multitude that we see described here with their voices. Look what it says, they sound like cascading waters. like the rumbling of loud thunder, and with them you'll say hallelujah, because the Lord our God, the Almighty reigns. Let us be glad, rejoice, and give him the glory, because the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his bride has prepared herself.