Thank you pastor. I really appreciate the invitation to come and we want to be a help and be a blessing to you. And when he asked me about coming, I've been watching these things, the announcements at least online, you know, and just clicking on it that I liked it and shared it with my contacts. You know how that works. And I don't, but maybe you do. But anyway, and I thought I'd just share, but he asked me one time or not long ago about coming in this month. And man my mind began to flood with thoughts and truths from God's word and every February back at our church we take the whole month and dedicate it to families and homes and every service I preach on the home. Every service I preach on the family in the month of February. And I told my wife this past February, I said, I think I'm going to change that up next year. I'm just going to preach, probably take just one Sunday and preach on the home. I feel like our folks are getting just used to it or getting tired of it, so to speak. You can only tell so many people, so many husbands to love their wives. You can just take it so far and things of that nature. But anyway we're honored to be here and I thank the Lord for the opportunity. I'm glad my wife Lisa is able to come with me. We just celebrated our fortieth wedding anniversary this past June. I think your pastor and his wife did this year as well. And so we're very grateful for the faithfulness of God. And I want to take that and just use it as a springboard in the message tonight. And I want you to take your Bibles if you will to the book of Psalm, Psalm 127. And we'll start here. I'm not a little nervous. I'm a lot nervous. And I felt like probably maybe a month or two ago, I was going to call Brother Raines and say, look, just get somebody else to do this. I'm just afraid to come. I'm afraid we're going to mess somebody up. I'm afraid we're going to give somebody the wrong counsel. They're going to go out and jump off a bridge somewhere. and that's going to be on my conscience. Or I thought I just don't feel like I'm qualified to stand up here. I'd rather hear him speak or Brother Josh speak and some other preacher. And I thank the Lord though for the opportunity God has given me. And I want to make as much out of it as I can. And so we are going to be all over the Bible tonight. And so there are several places I want to go. And I don't know what other men have spoken on. I'm sure I'm going to touch on something tonight that you've probably heard a thousand times before. But you're going to hear them a thousand and one times by the end of the night. And we just pray the Lord to help us. Notice here in Psalm 127 you've got your place there. Say amen. He said, except the Lord build the house, that labor in vain that build it. Except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain. It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows, for so he giveth his beloved sleep. low children are inheritance of the Lord, and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man, so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them. They shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate. Notice again what God says in this five verses here of Psalm 127. And I want to speak to you tonight on this subject here, having a marriage that is pleasing to the Lord. having a marriage that is pleasing to the Lord. And this psalm here, Psalm 127 is the central psalm of the 15 psalms that we know as the songs of degrees for Solomon. And this being the centerpiece it seems like that God has again put the family at center stage so to speak as He did in creation. God instituted the home before he ever instituted the government, before he ever instituted the church. And so it all goes back to the family. It all goes back to the home structure and the foundation of our life. Someone said, as the home goes, so goes the church, and as the church goes, so goes God. the nation. And so we find a lot of things that go back to the home. And the center psalm of the Songs of the Green is Psalm 127 emphasizing, putting the spotlight once again on the home or the family. Notice what the Bible says, the first word of this psalm is accept. The word accept means unless the Lord builds the house they labor in vain that build it. We find here unless we come to understand that if we work independently of the Lord and if we work independently of His Word then everything that our house or our home turns out to be falls upon us. Because if we do what man does, then we only get what man can do. But if we do what the Lord can do, then we get what the Lord can do. And so accept the Lord, build the house. And so no matter how sincere we may be, all of our efforts are in vain. We must wholeheartedly depend upon the Lord to aid and to assist us in the building of a family. Notice what he says here again in verse 1. He talks about the vain, the word vain. He said, They labor in vain that build, except the Lord keep the city. The watchman waketh but in vain. Here we note the vanities of life. Our work, apart from the Lord, independent of God, is nothing but vanity. Vanity, of course, we know to mean emptiness. And so we find here that our watch is in vain and our worry is in vain. So our work, our watch, and our worry we find is nothing but vain without the Lord. Then we see number two, the value of life. In verse three, lo, children are an heritage of the Lord. Now understand this, children are not an accident. but they are divine appointments from God himself with an eternal purpose and plan for the Lord. And let me say tonight, men, listen, we should not put our wives in a position where she cannot fulfill that ministry, her ministry of being there with her children and teaching them and nurturing them and raising them up in the nurture and admonition of God by taking on so much debt that it takes her out of the home. And I'm so thankful that God has allowed my wife and even myself, but my wife personally, to remain in the home. We did everything that we tried to do and could do to keep her in the home while our children were young, that she would be there to pray with them, to teach them, to nurture them, to instruct them in the things of the Lord. And God granted that. We praise the Lord for that. We understand, we have to understand the values of life. By the way, listen, the children are her ministry. God has given her the fruit of her womb as a reward. And if God blesses our home with children, we must understand that there's nothing of more value to you and to your wife or to your husband than your children. More valuable than your truck, more valuable than your boat, more valuable than your guns, more valuable than your hobbies, more valuable than your buddies is your children. God's gift to the home. Listen, when we think about building a Christian home, and a Christ-honored marriage that pleases the Lord. There are some secrets, I believe, that God has taught us over the years that we can look from the Word of God and look to the Word of God and find assistance and find some aid and help as we go through this life together. A few years ago we were sitting there in our living room in our home which is in the little town called Rockwell, North Carolina just south of Salisbury right outside of Concord, that area in Rowan County. And we've lived in this home now 29 years and we are very thankful for what God's blessed us with there. But a few years ago a young man came into our home and my wife and I were sitting there in their living room And he came in with his mom, and we were all sitting around talking. And he stood there in the doorway of our living room, our family room, whatever you want to call it, but the room of our home. And he stood there in the doorway, and he said, Terry, he said, I want what you and Lisa have. He's about 17, 18, 19 years old, somewhere in that neighborhood. He said, I want what you guys got. I said, what are you talking about? He said, look at you. You've got a family. You're together. You love each other. You've got children. You've got a home. That's what I want. I want a home like your home. And I thought, man, that's admirable. You know, that's honorable. Thank the Lord for that. But I told him, I said, hold on a minute. I said, you can't have a home like this unless you make the decisions that my wife and I made even before we were married. You see, God took two teenagers. I got saved when I was 17, 1982. In the late 1900s, I came to Christ. The last century. In 1981, my wife came to faith in Christ. She's a year older than me spiritually, but I am older than her physically. Let me get that in there, amen. And I told him, I said, we made decisions years ago to trust Christ as our Savior. We made decisions years ago to surrender our life to the will of God. Before we were ever married, we made those choices. We made the choice to join the local Bible-believing, Bible-preaching, Bible-teaching church. And we were faithful to the house of God. We were faithful to the services. Anything and everything that was going on down at the church house, we were there. We were teenagers, we were in the youth group of this local church. But individually, we made choices to trust Christ, to surrender our life, to have a heart pursuing God and God's will for our life. I know, speaking for my wife, she wanted to do God's will. I wanted to do God's will. She was fully surrendered to the Lord. I was fully surrendered to God. All those decisions happened before we walked the aisle and said, I do. There were some choices that were made that brings us to this very night a long time ago. Now I want to show you some things here I believe the Lord has given me and I said to this young man in our conversation my answer was you can't have this without the secret ingredients. And I want to show you tonight with the help of God with the Word of God just a personal testimony of Lisa my wife and myself and what God has helped us with, and what God has taught me, and I'm sure God has taught her, and maybe we can get some things to help you with tonight. So what are the secret ingredients? How can I have a marriage tonight that is pleasing to the Lord? Well, you write this down. Number one, there is a secret, the secret of self-sacrifice. The secret of self-sacrifice. Go to Proverbs 17 and verse 1. Proverbs 17, verse one. He says, better is a dry morsel and quietness therewith than a house full of sacrifices with strife. He said, I'd rather have dry morsels, empty cabinets, empty cupboards. I'd rather have less the material of the world and have more of God than have a house full of sacrifices with strife. When you look at that word sacrifices, it means to kill a beast. In other words, in our vernacular today, it would be like my freezer's full of deer meat or sausage or a half a cow. Can I get a witness, amen? That's what he's talking about, having everything full but not having the thing which matters the most, full but empty. I want you to think of that verse and go back with me just for a moment over to Song of Solomon. In Song of Solomon here, I told you we're gonna be on the Bible a lot. Song of Solomon chapter six, notice here in verse eight, Song of Solomon six, verse eight and nine, it said, for what hath the wise more than the fool? What hath the poor that knoweth to walk before the living? Better is the sight of the eyes than the wonder of the desire. This is also vanity and vexation of spirit. We have here that God is saying that here Solomon reveals what his palace or his home was like. Solomon's house or his home was a house that was filled with a lot of sacrifices. I'm sorry, I was in Ecclesiastes. No wonder you're looking at me strange. Song of Solomon, yeah, that goes with it too, amen. Song of Solomon, 6 verse 8, there is three score queens and four score concubines and virgins without number, my dove, my undefiled is but one. She is the only one of her mother. She is the choice one of her, her that bare her. The daughter saw her and blessed her. Yea, the queens and the concubines, they praised her. Think of Solomon's home here. He's revealing what his home was filled with. Listen, what good is it to have so much and yet have so much strife? Here he says there in verse eight that he's got 60 queens, he's got 80 concubines, and he's got an unknown number of virgins. What Solomon is telling us tonight is that he has a house, he has a full house, but he has an empty heart. The Bible says, what shall it profit a man if he should gain the whole world and lose his own soul? What shall it profit a man if he should gain the whole world and lose his own health, loses his own home just to gain the world? Here Solomon had all these women, had all these wives and queens and concubines and virgins without number, but listen, he was not satisfied. He had his eye on one daughter. And he called her undefiled, my dove. She is but one. And we find here that Solomon was never satisfied. In I Kings chapter three and verse three, we read there where Solomon loves the Lord. And in eight chapters later in I Kings 11 and verse one, we find where Solomon now loves the ladies. It was the strange women that Solomon allowed not only into his home, but into his heart. And these strange women were pagan women, unbelievers, God deniers. They were strangers to God, strangers to the covenant, strangers to the law. And it was these strange wives that Solomon took into his heart and took into his home that turned his heart from the Lord. And he went in eight chapters from loving the Lord to loving the ladies. And the main problem of Solomon's heart and his home tonight was that he never learned to find true contentment in the Lord. And tonight, sir and ma'am, if we never learn to find true contentment in the Lord, we'll always be a home, have a home that's full of strife. Many will say, boy, if I had a different spouse or if I even had a spouse, then will I be content. Why don't you try being content with what God's already given you? Some will say, listen, while others say, boy, if I had a bigger house or better quality of material possessions, then I would be content. Just thank God for what you've already got. While some would say if I had more time for myself, then I would be content. Let me give you the simplest definition of the word contentment. Will you write this down? What is contentment? Contentment is not having all we want, but rather it's wanting all we have. Solomon learned the hard way. And in order for us not to have to learn the way that Solomon learned, listen, he said, better is a dry morsel and quietness therewith. He said that it is better to have an empty house than to have an empty heart of love and peace and contentment. Many bad and hurtful decisions are made by discontentment. Spur-of-the-moment decisions, off-the-cuff decisions a lot of times cause harm and cause hurt to the marriage and to the home. Solomon's home was full of women, strange women, for the good, the bad, and the ugly, which led to an empty heart. No doubt he thought of the happiness in heaven, this Shulamite woman, this one girl that he had his eyes on would have provided, but he settled for what only hell could provide with all of his heartaches and with all of its headaches. Listen, what we must learn tonight is if I'm gonna have a marriage that pleases the Lord, then there must be a self-sacrifice given to the Lord. In Psalm 127, verse one, our text, except the Lord build the house. Listen, write this down, men. I love this thought. I heard this the other week, and I wrote it down right down the road. I had to pull over and write it down. We don't come home from work, but we come home to work. Let that settle in your heart. We don't come home from work, but we come home to work. We come home to work on our marriage. We come home to work on our parent-child relationship. We come home to work. We don't come home from work, but we come home to work. What are we building our homes with? What are we willing to fill our houses with. You see, it pleases the Lord to be willing to live a self-sacrifice life. We've learned that. Lisa has sacrificed a lot for our home. And in return, I too have sacrificed a lot for our home. That's how we've got to 40 years of marriage. There's a lot of give and take. There's all things that she would love to do, but she can't. There are some things that I would like to do, but I can't. We didn't take time, thank God the devil, we didn't allow the devil to take these and twist them and cause our heart to turn against each other and to grow cold against each other. But listen, it goes back to our decision before we ever made a decision as a husband and wife. Listen, I still tonight have a heart individually to please him. She still has a heart individually, even without me, to please the Lord. And that's what has made it work. is that, listen, we both are in pursuit of God. Both of us are in pursuit of holiness and righteousness and godliness, and we want God. I want God's blessing and favor upon my life. She wants that upon her life. God has brought two together to make one out of us. And listen, that's a double barrel, that's a double portion. We want what God wants. And that's what's made it these last 40 years. and to God be the glory. Number two, write this down, we see the secret of being spirit-filled. The secret of being spirit-filled, you see, the thing about being spirit-filled, it's not that we get more of the Spirit, we get all of Him when we trust Christ as Savior by faith. But it's a matter of Him getting all of us. It's not a matter of content, but it's a matter of control. Who controls your marriage? I've seen some. Them poor little fellas. Walk around like a wimp, whip dog. Like a wet puppy, you know. I mean, she says, jumps, he says, how high? I've seen it, God bless. We had one couple, man, she was a talker. And that poor fella, remember him, Lisa? You know who I'm talking about. He'd just stand over there real sheepish. And man, she did all the talking. She did, I mean, and she, God bless her heart, she passed away. And next time I saw him, I couldn't get him to shut up. I said, man, he's had all that bottled up for these years. He ain't been able to get a word in edgewise. And man, when they lowered her body in the grave and threw the last shovel of dirt upon her, man, I mean, that thing opened up, and he's like an auctioneer. You see him, man, I mean, you can't get away from him. I thought, bless his heart, he's had all that, like a volcano. It's been erupting for the last several years. He's just oozing with words and noise, you know. I probably didn't think he could even talk. I didn't think he could talk for when I first met him. I thought she married a mute guy, you know. I'm doing kind of little sign language to him. You want some drink? He said, no, I don't need no. And I thought, Matt, you can talk. I've seen it. Spirit-filled. Look at Ephesians 5, verse 18, to be not drunk with wine where it is excess, but be filled with the Spirit. What happens when we're yielded to the Holy Spirit of God, and we allow Him to fill us? Every day of my life, God helpin' me, I ask the Lord, and I ask God the Holy Spirit, fill me, control me today. Control my thoughts, control my walk, control my tongue, control, I pray, 1 Thessalonians 5, sanctify me wholly. My wife prays in the morning, sanctify, fill me with the spirit of God. I'm talking about two individual Christians, but yet God has made us one, you understand that? The spirit-filled life is the key, it's the secret here. Notice what it produces in verse 19. Speak unto yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs. You ever heard this verse, Proverbs 15, one, a soft answer turneth away wrath. You know, if I'm filled with the Spirit of God, she's filled with the Spirit of God, and we're desiring the Lord, both of us are individually. I've got my prayer closet, she's got her prayer closet. She's got her walk with God, I've got my walk with God. And thank God we're able to do it together as a husband and wife, as one in Christ, but at the same time as individuals. Listen, friend, when we're filled with the Spirit of God, we're able to talk to one another with a sweet, soft voice. Listen, I was raised in a broken home. I didn't have no model to go after. I didn't have an example how to be a husband or how to even be a daddy. I mean, listen, my dad walked out on us when I was eight years old. And I saw him once a month, if that much. And for the longest time in my most vulnerable years of my young life, when I needed somebody to lead me and teach me how to be a man, how to be responsible, how to be a man of character, how to take care of things and be an example of a husband and father, I had to learn all this on my own. And so listen, I depended on the Lord probably a whole lot more than someone that did have a good example in front of them. And so I'm just saying that what I've learned, it helps us to be filled with the spirit of God, it helps us to speak right. Verse 19, it helps us to sing right. Listen, a song, the song of our hearts should be the songs of our home. Fill your home and our home with Christ's honor and music and sing and get you some of those Rain family CDs. Get you some of that Natalie Blanton stuff. She might have a few things lying around. I mean, pipe it in there. We've got music 24-7 in our home. It's playing right now. It'll play all night, it'll play all day tomorrow. Fill your home with good singing. Verse 20, giving thanks that'll help us with our supply. giving thanks always for all things unto God the Father in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. Listen, recognizing that every need supplied is by the hand of God. But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. But seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you. It is better to have our hearts spirit filled than to have our homes filled with strife. Amen or not? It pleases the Lord to walk in the Spirit and to be filled with the Spirit. God will meet your needs. I remember several years ago. We're young, married, young parents. Charity, our oldest, she was born in 86. 10 years later, God gave us Titus. Boy, that's a great story. I remember, listen, we just believed God and trusted the Lord. One night, we were needing a house payment. It was come and due. You know how God just proves himself to you. And I don't know if any of you have any financial stress on you, but we had financial stress on us. And I remember asking God that night, laying there in my bed, just praying to God myself, and I didn't tell Lisa nothing about it. I just prayed to God. I said, Lord, you know what we need. You know the amount. And I'm going to thank you right now as if I've already got it in Jesus' name. And I went to sleep that night. Two days later, you know the story. Go to the mailbox. Open the mail. There's a card in there. Open the card. There's a check in there from a dear lady, a friend of our family's for the exact amount that I just asked God for two nights earlier. Can I get a witness? I remember, listen, we had a little charity and we were unable to have children for some time, couldn't understand, went through a lot of tests, a lot of things that doctors, her and I, trying to figure it out, you know. Now my brother Tim, him and his wife, they've got 10 children. Every time we turned around, they were having one. We wanted more, Lord. What about us? You know, thank God we love charity. Oh my, she's still my little princess. If you looked at my cell phone, she'll come up princess. We wanted more children, just couldn't, it just didn't work, didn't happen. And I remember one night, one day, I said, Lord, I'm gonna believe you again. I'm gonna trust you. And I went to the app building the shed. I got Charity's old crib out. All of its pieces. And I carried every little piece of that in our little single wide mobile home. And I put it in the little room, what we had designated if we ever had a child, we'd make that in the nursery. And I got pledged and I got the dust rag and I wiped all the mold and mildew and the dust off that little railing, that little wooden cradle. And I began to put those things together. I said, Lord, we're just going to believe you and trust you. I got down, I was missing the last little nut. I hate it when it happens like that. Don't you men know? Can I get a witness, fellas? You know what I'm talking about. And I said, oh, man. And the devil says, you fool, act like you're going to do something. You don't even have all the parts. I said, shut up. I went and got me some black electric tape. Didn't have no duct tape. Got me some black electric tape, and I taped that thing up. I taped her up real good where it would hold. I said, I prayed there at that little crib. I said, God, please, if it be your will. I was in evangelism that time, traveling, preaching. And I was in a meeting preaching one summer. And I went back to the dorm, to my room there. And there was a little sticky note on the door that said, pass test. I knew what test she was talking about. She told me she was going to go to the doctor that morning and get a pregnancy test. And she sent me word past test. Man, I shouted all over that camp. Them little boys, it was a teen camp. They thought, man, I done gotten a hornet's nest somewhere. Crew's done gone crazy. Man, I shouted. Listen, nine months later, our little Titus was born. I said, Lord, I'm just going to believe you. And I'm going to trust you, Lord. My wife said, you put that together to torment me? I said, no, we're going to believe God. We're gonna trust God that God will hear our prayers and God will answer our prayers and give us what we need. And God gave us Titus 10 years later. Isn't that amazing? I tell you, listen, it all talks about, listen, walking in the spirit. Listen, being filled with the Holy Spirit of God, it pleases the Lord. Let me give you a third one real quick tonight. We see the secret of submission. You're still there in Ephesians, just look there in chapter five. And I'm sure you ladies probably thought, yeah, I knew he was heading there sometime. But it's more than that. It's more than you. Here's the kicker, here's the key, I believe. Look at verse 21. Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. You see, being filled with the Spirit of God, it helps me to speak, it helps me to sing, it helps me with the supply to give thanks for all things. And then it helps us to submit one to another. Now understand this here, we find the word submit first things first. Listen, wives I believe cannot submit and husbands cannot love until each one is submissive to the Lord first. Now look at the word submission, it means the act of yielding to the will or power of another. And I believe tonight that when women, when ladies struggle with submission, it may be because they're struggling in submitting to the known will of the Lord. You see, God wants you to submit to Him first. And if you submit to Him first, then you can submit as God teaches you. Listen, if a man tonight struggles with love, it may be because he's struggling. in submitting his will to the known will of God. And if we love him, the Lord, as we ought to love him, then we will not have a problem submitting to him and to his will. You see, this is the secret tonight of submission in any marriage, him first and all others second. All others second. Any marriage will not survive or thrive if there's one of the two. that is unwilling to submit to the Lord. I've seen some sweet, soft-spoken ladies marry some of the roughest, hard-headed men that were just so crude and rude. We've had some come by our way at times. I mean, listen, And it's hard when there's one in the marriage submissive to God and to His will, and another is in rebellion to that. Listen, there's gonna be conflict, there's gonna be friction, there's gonna be strife in that home. But until both of you say, hey, I'm a child of God, I'm a child of God. You're a child of God. I'm a child of God. You seek God. I seek God. God's brought us together as one. You have a heart for God. I have a heart for God. Let's see what God will do. Surrender, submit to the Lord, and watch what God does in your marriage. That is the secret. It pleases the Lord to live in submission to the known will of God. Number four, we see the secret of selfless service. Selfless service. Joshua 24, I'll give this to you. Joshua 24 verse 15. Joshua says, in essence, he says, choose you this day whom you will serve. He said, as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. There are three thoughts about that. Number one, that's a personal decision that each one of you have to make. Number two, it's a pointed decision as to who we will serve. And it's a persuasive decision. Here, it has to be a parental decision as to who you will serve. I remember a father made a decision claim that verse, as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. His wife got on board with it, daughter got on board with it, a younger son got on board with it, but there was an older son just didn't want anything to do with it. And it so frustrated the father trying to get his son to do, who was unsaved, it was so frustrated the daddy trying to get him to do spiritual things. It's hard to get unsaved people to do spiritual things. And so his daddy, he was at his wits end, and so he took a big sheet, a white sheet, and he took a can of spray paint, and he said, ask for me and my house, we will serve the Lord except our son, and he put it out in the front yard of his home for all the neighbors, all the passerbyers to see. His young son, or his son, older son, pulled into the driveway that day coming home from school and saw that sign, that banner, asked for me and my house, we will serve the Lord except my son. He knew exactly who he was talking about. And he said right then and there God opened that boy's eyes and smote his heart with conviction. And he came in weeping to his father and ask Christ to be his Savior. And he said, Daddy, you can take my name off that sign now. I will serve the Lord now. Listen, it's a choice. As a matter of fact, it's a daily decision. Every day we've got to choose. We're either going to serve God or we're going to serve self. You have to make that choice. Romans 12, he said, beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercy of God, you present your bodies, deliver and sacrifice, hold and accept unto God, which is your reasonable service. You want a reason to serve God? The mercies of God is enough reason. He said, Philippians 121, for to me to live is Christ and to die is gain. You want a reason to live? Jesus is enough reason to live. Why should we serve the Lord? Simply because He's worthy of our service. A life that's lived for Jesus is a life worth living. You see, a healthy and a happy home is where each one has a burning desire to serve their Master and Lord. And we cannot serve each other as we all if we're not willing to serve the Lord as we should. A home is a place, a Christian home, is where Christ is preeminent. and our spouse, our companion is preferred before ourselves. You see, it pleases the Lord to live a selfless life of service for the King. Let me give you this last thought here. Number five, the secret of separation. I want you to hold your place in Psalm and go back with me and I gotta show you this verse. To the book of Nehemiah, Nehemiah chapter 4, Nehemiah chapter 4, verse 19, here the people of God have been working on this wall, they've been battling, they've been building, they've been going for some time, several days, weeks, months now, There's been no let up. Matter of fact, you can tell it was no let up because they got it done in 52 days. And they were building, they were battling, they were working. Verse 19, I said unto the nobles, to the rulers, to the rest of the people, the work is great and large, and we are separated upon the wall, one far from another. May I stop there just for a moment and say, listen, the work of God, the work of building a home, a marriage that pleases the Lord is a large and great work. Nothing greater than having a home that honors the Lord. My mind thinks about what it says in Luke chapter six about the two foundations, you know the story. But in Luke's gospel, Luke records under the inspiration of God, two words, dig deep. He said that dig deep, what does that tell us? That tells us that there's a lot of work to dig deep. There's a lot of toiling, there's a lot of sweat and tears, there's a lot of blood and blisters to dig deep to find the solid rock, the bedrock, the foundation to build a home that when the storms come, it will stand the storms by the way the storms are coming. And it takes work. And he said, listen, we're doing a great work, it's a large work, it's a great work. And he says, while we've been working unbeknownst to us, listen, there has arrived a distance between us. We find ourselves separated from one another. We're all busy, we're all building, we're all battling, but we're separated. He says in verse 20, in what place thereof, therefore you hear the sound of the trumpet, resort ye thither unto us, our God shall fight for us. Listen, there is a danger that separation of the work brings. There is a distance that it separates us from one another. There is the devilish deeds that separation offers when we're away from one another. And he says, listen, we've got to come back together at some time. We've got to come back together at some moment. We cannot stay away from each other. We cannot stay separate from one another. Yes, we're building, we're busy, we're battling, but listen, we need one another. We need the strength and the encouragement and the caressing and the love and the intimacy of one another. We must come back together because of the danger. Someone said absent makes the heart grow fonder, and it does. It does. Throughout the day, if I'm thinking of my wife, she'll normally receive a text message from me. If she's thinking about me, she normally sends me one. Some of the sweetest times have been when we had children young in school, they're both grown and married now, and have their own families, but when we would drop the children off at the Christian school, and we would go get a cup of coffee or a biscuit. I was busy in the ministry. I was busy with evangelism, traveling and going a lot of times away from home. She stayed home, stayed by the fires, helping with the children, paying the bills, keeping the house running. I was all preaching. We were separated. Busy. And some of the sweetest times is when we just call time out for each other and say, let's go to the cafe and just get us a cup of coffee or a glass of tea and just sit here and talk about it. I love those memories and thank God for them. This is the way that you can be brought back into fellowship with one another. Take your Bible right quick and I'm almost done. You've been a great audience to preach to. Look at 1 Corinthians chapter 7 and verse 5. Well, let's look at verse 1. 1 Corinthians 7, 1, now concerning the things whereof you wrote unto me, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. May I say it tonight, it's still good. She's not your wife. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife. Say amen there, fellows. Amen. Let every woman have her own husband. Say amen there, ladies. Fellows, you can say amen right there, too. Amen. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence, likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath no power of her own body, but the husband, and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Look at verse five, defraud. Serve with that word defraud if you haven't already. Defraud ye not one another. except to be with consent for a time that you may give yourself to fasting and prayer and come together again that Satan tempt you not for your inconsistency. Incontinency, I'm sorry. Look at that word defraud. The word defraud means to deprive of right, to withhold wrongfully. And I know in 1 Corinthians 7, these verses we've read, it deals with the intimate relationship of husband and wife and the bonds of marriage. but there are times permitted for separation. Notice what the Bible says in verse five, except, there's that word except again. Except it be, number one, with consent. That word consent has the idea of agreement. That you're separated, your separation from one another is driven by a greater need, and that greater need is a spiritual need. And listen, for the work of consecration that you give yourselves to fasting and prayer. Listen, we desire to always grow in the grace and the knowledge of the Lord Jesus. Then after we've had that season of prayer and consecration before the Lord, then afterwards there must be a coming together again. Why? That Satan tempt you not. God said, make not provision for the flesh to fulfill the lust thereof. The Bible says in Ephesians, neither give place to the devil. The Bible says in the book of Mark, what therefore God had joined together, let not man put asunder. God is the one that took two and brought them together and made one. Listen, God is in the business of bringing and keeping people together. It's important. Separation is important at times to seek the Lord. That's what he's talking about in verse five. But once that time is over, he says to come back together. Listen, you may be at work and here or there at home, separated, spread apart, spread out. Listen, it's very valuable. Like Nehemiah said, listen, we've got to resort thither. We've got to come back. Forty years ago, God gave Lisa and I a verse, a Bible verse for our family before we had any children. And it's in Psalm 34, verse 3. And you can borrow it if you don't have one of your own until you get your own. It says, Oh, magnify the Lord with me and let us exalt his name together. Oh magnify the Lord with me that speaks of unity and let us exalt his name together that speaks of harmony. You know what Lisa and I desire for our home more than anything is unity and harmony. Oh you can have unity but no harmony. I don't advocate this but you can tie two tails and tie their tails together and hang them over a clothesline you've got unity but I guarantee you won't have no harmony. Oh magnify the Lord with me, with me. Singular, individual, with me. Let us, plural, let us exalt his name together. Psalm 34, three marker down, get just, we got a big old sign. Big old sign in our living room with that verse printed on it. Every morning, every night, we see that sign. Every time I walk in that living room, I see that verse. It's there. I've got it marked in my Bible. Beside that verse, I've got June 23, 1984. That's our anniversary. It's there. That's our verse. Get you a verse. You see, it pleases the Lord to live a separated life from the world and unto the Lord. Let me close with this here tonight. These are the five things that I believe that God has taught us over these forty years of marriage. Of our marriage being pleasing to the Lord. And all five of these things have derived from the Word of God. God has given us these five principles. What are principles? The word principle means rule to live by or to govern your life by, principle. God gives you a principle from the Word of God. And from that principle you build a standard. You have a standard that you're going to do what God said to do out of His Word, right? And from that principle there's a standard and from that standard there's something called, don't let it scare you now, it's called conviction. You say, Brother Cruz, why do you do what you do and why do you not do what you don't do? It's because of the principle from the Word of God that has developed our standard of our family. And it is a conviction now not to break the standard, not to violate the principle. That's my convictions. And may the Lord help us tonight to see this here. So many times we focus on the flesh, the family, the finances, and overlook the aspect that it is our own personal walk of faith that is the foundation of any and all marriages. The secret is to have two people who are literally lock, stock, and barrel sold out to the Lord's will. And to daily, no matter the season of life, seek to please the Lord above all else. The greatest Christian lady I know tonight is sitting right back there. And she bears my last name. She is my sweetheart. And I can publicly say that I love my wife more tonight, after 40 long years in the wilderness. Boy, I just blew that, didn't I? There goes my Dairy Queen stop. But I love my wife more tonight than I ever have. I mean, I love her dearly. I'm off somewhere, and I just can't wait to be back with her. I can't wait to get home. I can't wait to see her. And she feels the same way about me, oddly enough. You've got to understand, I'm 6'6". She's 5'1". And that's where a lot of my back problems have come from, is bending down all these years. She looks up to me. But the sad part is, I look down on her. And sometimes when I look down on her, I feel like I've already gone to glory. And I'm just looking over the banister, looking down on her. That's how far she seems to be from me, stature-wise. Let the Lord help us to take these things. This is just a personal testimony. I hope it helps you tonight. I hope it stirs some things in your heart and say, Lord, I want that for my life. That young man said, I want what you all have. I said, son, it begins where it began with us, at an old-fashioned altar, at the foot of the cross. And tonight, I have such a desire to please the Lord. She has a desire to please the Lord. And God has brought those two desires together and made them one big desire. And we've got a double portion of it. And that's what God wants for your marriage. That's what God wants for your home. Your children deserve it, ladies and gentlemen. Everybody needs three homes. Everybody needs a church home. Everybody needs a Christian home. Everybody needs a heavenly home. Let's make sure we've got all those homes covered. Thank you, Pastor. Father, we love you tonight. Lord, I'm so thankful for the privilege, God, you've given us. And I pray you take the words that we are conveyed to this great congregation and may something help and sustain and strengthen. God, I pray you move on our hearts, help us to see the importance of all these things. I thank you for my marriage. I thank you for my help meet. I thank you, Lord, for giving me Lisa. You knew what I needed and who I needed. And God, she's my biggest supporter, my biggest cheerleader. Lord, I thank you for her love that she has for me and our family. And I thank you for the love, God, you've given me for her and our family. I pray you knit our hearts together even tighter. I pray, dear God, you'd weave us even closer. I pray, God, you'd help us. Lord Jesus, God, to honor thee with all of our breath, with all of our life, until Jesus comes, until death do us part. God, bless and help me, pray. Bless Brother Raines. Thank you so much for him and this dear church and the vision, God, that you put on him and Miss Chris's heart to have these meetings. I pray, God, you continue to help them, God, to flourish and to go forward with it. And Lord Jesus, we thank You for it. We ask it in Christ Jesus' name for His sake and all God's people said, Amen. Thank you, Pastor. God bless you now.