I feel a little bad about James chapter 1 because I got stuck in one verse and I'm going to be in that same verse this morning. So I'm doing a little study this morning, early in the morning, I like to get up. How many of you, early morning is the best time of the day, is it not? Any other early? I love getting up early and studying, especially on the weekdays if I get to the office before everybody. Man, that's nice. That's so nice, you can get so much done. So this morning I'm sitting on the couch and I'm writing, and I got to reading, we got stuck in verse 19, James chapter 1 verse 19, and some of you remember we talked about, whereof my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, we talked about that, it's been a whole lesson on learning to hear properly, taking the time to listen to what other people are saying, or listen to the preaching, or listen to the Holy Spirit, or listen to the Word of God. So be swift to hear, slow to speak. That was two weeks ago before the mission conference we talked about proper use of the mouth right all of us can learn a lesson there all of us like I said before I think the older you get the better you get at that right you've learned not just to spit out words really too quick and then of course this morning a slow to wrath now here's the thing I noticed this morning and I've noticed this before I I understand a little bit about how the Bible was written and I understand a little bit about the Greek language. I'm not a Greek scholar, but when you look at this, here's the thought I had this morning, wherefore my beloved brethren, I always think about that, it's the next phrase that made me stop, let every man, Now I know, you don't have to teach me anything in this, I know the word there for man means human individual, right? Most of you know that, most of the times, unless it's speaking about a specific man, we're talking about man, we would say mankind, right? So let every man, but then I got to thinking about this, wait a minute, swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to wrath, those are things we need to work on. Well I know it's every human individual but you gotta admit that does sound like a man thing. Right guys? Be quiet, learn to listen, learn to respond properly, right? And stay cool. Don't get upset, don't let your anger burn within you. I'm not saying that women don't have the same problem, I'm not saying that by it, but overall, I hate to beat on guys, but overall, guys, that's kinda us. I mean, that is kinda, and when I read that this morning, that's the first time I thought of it that way, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to wrath. I think if you could pull that off as a man, I think you're a real man. If you could learn to be quiet and listen all the way through, get all the facts before you speak, and then be careful how you speak, and control your temper when you speak, To me that's a mark of manhood you know growing up most of you guys maybe thought like I did growing up I thought the best thing to prove I was a man if I could whoop you I'm a man I mean that was kind of the only that was kind of the only thing I thought about if I could beat you in basketball I'm a better man if I could you know outsmart you in wise comments I'm a bet it was always about winning no sometimes it's about just shutting up and Right? And listen. How many women would say, I wish my spouse or other men, so just pick on your husband, I wish they would listen. Any women feel that way? You're not gonna raise your hand, you cowards. Okay, there's a few women, few women raising their hand and pointing. So it's an issue. Well, obviously the idea of slow to wrath is another issue, right? Controlling your temper. You guys know I started a whole series on this in the summer months a couple years ago on how to control your anger, what's the cause of that. So I'm not gonna go into that whole series, but there's some issues here that are obvious. Now I want you to notice a couple things. There's two different levels here. One is control your temper, right? And the other is, is it okay to be angry? Well obviously it has to be okay to be angry. because Christ was angry, more than once. I know in Luke chapter 13, it talks about him being angry with the people in the temple. He was gonna heal this guy with a withered hand, right? And he did that. And they immediately attacked him and said, you can't do that on the Sabbath, which I think is hilarious, right? You can't heal somebody on the Sabbath. Glad that's not a hospital theory. And they said Jesus looked at them with anger. So obviously anger is not necessarily a bad thing. But it's not a good thing sometimes either. So let me go through the notes, I'll show you what I'm talking about. I like this little thing, this came from William Barclay's commentary, this top part, and I think it's good. He said this, we certainly should be slow to wrath. Christian people should be slow to wrath. Anger always has, would you agree with this statement? Anger always has dangerous possibilities, amen? It's not always dangerous, but it does have the danger, even if it's righteous anger directed at the person for their own good, or directed at somebody for the glory of God, you can cross the line. Even as a pastor, if I'm standing in the pulpit and I'm complaining or criticizing the government, or I'm talking about another religion, it's okay for me to be angry at the fact that they're teaching an ungodly truth. But when that crosses the line, and I hate them, and I want their whole church destroyed, Okay, so it has always, no matter how it's used, it always has dangerous possibilities. It goes on to say this, it means a temporary loss of self-control. Any men ever been there? How many of you have ever lost your temper and later on said, man, I can't believe I did that? Pretty much everybody in the room, right? That's that temporary loss. It's almost like it wasn't you anymore. I know, I know, and I hate to admit this, after 48 years of marriage, you know this had to happen once or twice. I've said things to my wife or things to my children in anger that later I'm like, I can't believe I said that. I mean, it came out, it was my mouth, right? And I heard the words come from in here, out there, and then I looked at myself like, wow, that was cruel. That was mean, because she knows my weak spots, and well, I know hers too. I know how to get there, right? And sometimes we do that in anger. So it means a temporary loss of self-control, and then he makes another point, and more important, it means a loss of the Holy Spirit. If your flesh is in control, guess who's not in control? The Holy Spirit's not in control. And as a Christian, if the Holy Spirit's not in control, and the flesh is in control, and you're angry, how many of you know that's gonna be a problem? Right? That's an immediate problem. Now, here's what I found to be true, especially when I was younger. When that happens, there are times in the middle of my anger, I know the Holy Spirit convicts me, right? And I know this is wrong, but pride has taken over to the point I don't stop. Anybody else? Okay, you don't have to raise your hand, but you know what I'm saying? And you even know, you ever been angry, you knew you were angry, you knew you were wrong, but you continued anyway. Been there? And so that's what he's talking about, that dangerous possibility that it's okay to get angry in certain circumstances, but if you're not careful, you can cross a line that you're gonna regret crossing. And he goes on to say this, it leads people to say and to do what they would never dream of doing or saying, and I like his phrase here, in the right mind, right? By the right mind, by the way, we mean in the mind that you've been transformed into the way of thinking like Christ. Let this mind be in you which is also in Christ Jesus. It's not a Christ-like mind to attack people for the sole purpose of hurting them. There's nothing Christ-like in that, okay? So we'll talk about how that means in a minute. It is James' advice, he goes on to say, that was Stevenson, Barclay says this, it's James' advice that we should also be slow to anger. He's probably meeting the arguments that there's a place for the blazing anger of rebuke. In other words, there's some people that agree with me, I think, and don't get me wrong here, I'll explain it later, but I think there's a place for anger. I think there's a place for anger in the ministry. I think there's a place for anger in parenting. I think it's good when my children do something that I've told them is wrong, and I've showed them from the scripture that's wrong. They choose to do it anyway. Now, my children are adults now, but I mean, when they're under my authority, I think it's okay for them to be angry and say, that was wrong, and you're not gonna get away with that. Would you agree with that? I think that kind of righteous anger is good But again, has dangerous possibilities. Let's just put it in the area of parenting. Would you agree that in the area of parenting, righteous anger can be good, yes or no? Would you agree that righteous anger in parenting can't go too far? And it's no longer righteous, right? Because been there, done that. I have to admit this, when my kids were growing up, especially when they were younger, I ruled by fear, okay? And my theory was this, you know, I'm 200 pounds plus, I'm six foot two, and you weigh about 30 pounds, and you ain't even close to being my size, so you will do what I say. You know, that's, by the way, do you think my children obeyed me when they were young like that? Yes, they did, yeah. They didn't obey me because they loved me, they obeyed me because they were afraid the big mockster would beat the living daylights out of them if they didn't obey me. Sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes the administration of punishment, you gotta know what that is, right? Let's just say spanking, wasn't so much about the crime as my anger. Everybody understand that? Would you agree that that happens? Okay, thank you. All right, so that's what we're talking about here. So keep going, it has its proper place. And he goes on to say this, too often, this is made an excuse for petulant and self-centered irritation. Sometimes I discipline my children, sometimes I get mad at work, not because somebody did something wrong, but because they did something that irritated me. Or they did something that made me look bad, right? Boy, you're such innocent people sitting there so quietly like, wow, you're terrible. You've all been there, you've all done it, understand it, so that's why it's such a warning. It's just one phrase here, we're going to spend the whole week on this phrase, slow to wrath, okay? And then he goes on to make some examples. The teacher would be tempted to be angry with the slow and backward and still more the lazy scholar. I had a teacher in my high school, Mrs. Lindler, who literally embarrassed me in front of the entire class. By the way, I deserve to be embarrassed. She did the right thing. It's a long story. I won't give you the whole story, but I continued not to turn in a report, final term paper, senior year. Didn't turn it in, didn't turn in the note cards on time, didn't turn in footnotes on time, didn't turn in the rough draft on time, didn't do it. I don't remember what it was, I don't know if it was a note card. At one point, something was due, like the fourth time I didn't have it done on time. And people passed in, and I didn't pass mine in because I didn't have it done. And I'll never forget to this day, Mrs. Lindler just literally walked down the rows of the classroom, walked right up to me and said, Morris Hunsucker, you are the most procrastinating student I have ever had, and you will never amount to anything. public high school senior year. How many of you know I was embarrassed? You can't stand up and say anything. Well, you could, I guess, today in classes, but in my day, you didn't dare challenge a teacher, and I never forgot that. Some of you know now, if you know me, my Sunday school lesson is usually done on Wednesday. I'm preaching next week in chapel for Crosspoint. That sermon's at home on my desk. I flipped that scale. I was like, if I'm never gonna amount to anything, That anger in her, maybe the way she did it was wrong, but boy, it was necessary. I needed somebody to shake me and wake me up and say, quit doing that. And by the way, if you have a problem with procrastinating, putting stuff off, can I tell you something? Life is so much better when you don't. I love having things done ahead of time, because I never know what's going to happen tomorrow, right? That's another sermon. Okay, let me move on. So the teacher might be tempted by anger to do that, but except on the rarest occasion, he will achieve more encouragement than by the lash of the tongue. She could have done that in a better way. It helped for me, it wouldn't help everybody. Same thing with the preacher, same thing with the parent. I'm gonna go through all that, but you get the idea. So here's the question I get when I start talking about that, and this happened when we were doing the series on anger. Somebody came to me and said, this is the actual question, what about Ephesians 4.27? Anybody know what Ephesians 4.27 says? The whole passage there, but verse 27 says, be angry. Now the rest part of it says, and sin not, neither give place, yeah, let not the sun go down upon your wrath, neither give place to the devil, right? And somebody told me, they said, you're always talking about anger, but the Bible says there are times we should be angry, right? Two things I get from that verse. Look at your next page here real quick. Two things from that verse that I want you to understand. And I understand this, okay? We're gonna discuss this real quick. Number one, that there may be anger without sin, right? You can be angry without sinning. Everybody agree with that? Because it just said, be angry and sin not. So obviously, there is a type of anger that can be had that is okay. So if you have an anger problem, or you're angry because of unrighteous behavior of someone else, you're angry because maybe of unfair treatment of another, you're angry because somebody's blaspheming the name of the Lord. There are some righteous angers out there, right? And you say, well, I don't like it, I get so upset when people do that. Okay, well, that's okay. I'll be honest with you, I am upset with evil. I don't like evil. I'm so frustrated. I'm a little happier with the United States today than I was last week. And not just because who won, it is because it shows we do have some common sense left, right? The majority, even the popular vote, the majority, okay, there's hope. You know, I was, how many of you were worried that that was not gonna happen? I shouldn't say worried, I was very concerned, I was like, you know, I didn't watch anything on that last Saturday night, I just went to bed. Like, I'm not gonna watch this nonsense, I'll wake up tomorrow morning and they'll tell me, okay? And that's the way I look at it. But I did not wanna wake up last Sunday morning, or last Wednesday morning and go, oh no. So I had a little hope for America, but I will tell you this, And I mentioned it's four. I think both sides frustrate me. Both sides irritate me. And I don't think that's wrong. I'm not mad at those people, I'm mad at their philosophies, and I'm mad at what they're doing to our country, and I'm mad that the standards have dropped. You know, things that happened when I was in high school, you know, I mean, things happen in high school today, if they'd happened when I was in high school, you would be out of high school, there would be no, you can't get away with the stuff kids get away with today, that's crazy. Or adults, you know, somebody commits murder and they go fit to jail for 15 years? I'm sorry that you took a life. I think I should be angry and upset about that, amen? Okay, so there is a sense of righteous anger. Here's the second thing, not only can there be anger without sin, but that also says this, that there is in most cases a danger that our anger will be accompanied by actions or sinful thoughts. Okay, so I'm gonna give you this. So yes, are there times, I'm trapped. There are times where anger's okay. But even when it's okay, understand you can sin. Because it says, be angry, but don't sin, right? So there is a, would you agree that verse is saying there is a line? that you can cross and in every situation there's a line that you can cross you have to be careful you know as a parent I'm very upset very disappointed in something that my son did I'll pick on him since he's not here and and I should be that should bother me and I should be angry about that but that anger doesn't continue into the punishment and the correction and into the rebuke that's a problem right so you cross that line alright keep reading Because I want you to get this. This is some, I think, some good stuff. Anger is an excitement or an agitation of mind. That's a good phrase. That would be me. That's a perfect description of me younger. Excitement or agitation of mind. Always mad about something. And it's produced by the reception of a real or supposed injury. You ever been angry at somebody because you thought they did something? Right? only to find out later, oh, that didn't happen, that's not what you meant, that wasn't, yeah, we've all been there, okay? So sometimes anger can be aroused because of something that did happen, anger can be aroused because of something you think happened, right? Okay, so a real or supposed injury and attached commonly with a desire for a response, and I would say, I would add to that, nine times out of 10, if not 10 out of 10, when I say response, I mean a prideful response, with me, My anger is almost always connected to my pride. You've offended me, you've untrustfully treated me, you've disparaged me, you've said something about me, whatever. You outdid me on the pickleball court, made me look bad, right? You think you don't get angry at that, do you? Not outside of my body. But still struggle, okay, so prideful anger or anger can be aroused for protection. That's a good thing, right? If I'm walking down the street somewhere with my wife and somebody comes and starts attacking my wife, I should stay calm as a Christian and never lose my temper. Oh, no, Jack. Now, by the way, I get asked this a lot, so let me end this question. You know how many times I get asked, especially when we go to Daylight Savings Time, are you okay with Becky working downtown at the Good News Mission on Rule and Washington Street? Does anybody know the area? Not the best area. Everybody's like, you know, she comes out in the dark. Let me say this, Becky's been there 15 years? Huh? Since 2008. You can't do the math, is that the problem? Sorry, 16 years, and... Sorry, babe. See, that's righteous anger right there. Becky's been there 16 years, all the men of that mission, especially those guys who are living there and work there, they love Becky. If you wanna die quickly, attack Becky at Good News Mission. There'll be 90 men taking your sorry little head off. I know I don't, I worry about the drive sometimes, but on the property, yeah, you don't wanna try that. You wanna see some righteous anger, just grab her. I almost wish somebody would. Just so I can watch. No, I'm kidding. But there is an interesting, some of you know, I told you a story, I got attacked one time, a guy pulled a knife on me, and I was doing the, I don't know if you know anything, I was doing the two-step back thing, kind of giving him a little room, and I walked into, I think it was four or six men, all of them bigger than me, and one of them was saying, touch the chaplain, touch him. I was like, that's right, touch the chaplain. They protect their people, so don't worry about Becky. I have no idea how. Oh, protection. Response protection, or here's a big one too, right? Your anger ever fired up on revenge? They did that to me, and I'm gonna tell you something, you don't wanna ever do that to me, and if you try that with me, hmm, okay. Understand, that's where it's produced from. The desire for revenge may not always accompany our anger, but the desire to express, one, our displeasure, two, our rebuke, punishment for the offender, or change of circumstances, it's usually always evident. That's what you're trying to do, right? Would you agree that that's what you're trying to do in your anger? Number one, you're either trying to express your displeasure, right? Or you want to rebuke the person, rebuke, biblical word, tell them that they're wrong, show them why they're wrong, right? When I got angry early on in our marriage, my goal was to explain to Becky why she's wrong. Right? And her goal was explained to me, and sometimes that got out of control, right? To punish them, I'm angry, so, and you did this, I'm gonna punish you, or I'm just going to see the circumstances change. I found out early on, when you're a big guy, sometimes you can blow up and buff up, and people will back down. And so sometimes in my life I use that. I wasn't always an old man. Anger's excited when we hit our finger with a hammer or when you stub our toe or when someone raises a hand to strike us. There's also those physical causes. The cause of God's implanting this passion in the mind of man is to rouse him to immediate defense of himself when suddenly attacked. And to do this before the reason would have time to suggest a proper means of defense. Anger prompts us at once to self-protection. And that's a good thing, right? That's a good thing. Pain is the same way. There's nothing wrong with self-protection. There's nothing wrong if you're attacked for self-defense or defending a weaker brother or sister, right? Everybody with me on this so far? Okay, so let me move on. Now, here's the part I want you to get into. Check this middle paragraph, because this is an important paragraph. When the danger is passed, the righteous use of anger ceases. If you've got a pen or something, you need to underline that, especially if you're a man. When the danger is passed, right? Then the anger should pass with it. When the situation is now under control, you need to be under control. Does that make sense? If it's under control and there is no longer danger and you're still angry, can I tell you this? I'll be honest with you. You are in sin. Because now it's all about you. Right? When you cross that, to me that's the crossing line. When, okay, a guy attacks me, I defend myself, he goes down and runs off. Now I'm gonna run off and beat the daylights out of him. When I catch him, I'm gonna, no, no, no, no. What are you doing? By the way, that's not a wise maneuver anyway. You never know who you're going to run into. But you get the idea, okay? Keep reading here. If anger is continued after the danger has passed, it becomes sinful, hateful, or revengeful, and in such cases, it is always wrong. Okay, so here's the question. I'm gonna go to the next page. You can read the rest of this on your own, but let me go to the next page. So how do I know? Let me give you eight warning things, okay? Can I do that? And we'll be through this morning, and I'll promise you next week I'll start on another verse. Four weeks on one verse may be enough for anybody, but it's a good verse, okay? So how can I figure if my anger is righteous or sinful? Number one, when it's excited without any sufficient cause, when we're in no danger and do not need it for protection. Read that again, look at it, look at the verse, look at it while I'm reading it, so I want you to understand it. It's wrong or sinful when it's excited without any sufficient cause, no real cause, we're in no danger and do not need it for protection. I don't know where I got this quote, it's not my quote. If we would be safe without it, without anger, we would be sinful with it. That is a good quote, right? I do not need to be angry, raise my voice, and be threatening ever to my wife unless she's got a knife trying to kill me, right? There's no cause for that in a normal conversation. Look at me, guys. There's no cause for that in a normal conversation. You say, but you don't know what she did, and I'm sorry. You're wrong. I don't care if she screamed at you. I don't care if she threatened you. I don't care what she called you. There's no danger in it. You don't need anger. That won't help. I can tell you that right now. I've done enough marriage counseling. Two people getting angry. If one person gets angry, a second person angry does not make the situation better. It never, it never works. Well, she was angry, so now I'm angry. Okay, well, good. Game over then. Nothing good is gonna happen at that point. Do you understand that? How many of you would agree with that? Anger never makes things better. If you have an angry person and add another angry person, That didn't make it even. That made you both in the negative column, okay? So understand that. Number two, when it exceeds or surpasses the cause, if the cause really exists, all that is done in anger beyond, listen to these three lines, beyond the necessity of immediate self-protection, right? Or the protection of the innocent. Even if it's not my child, you go to hurt a child in my presence, I'm probably stepping in. I still remember, Dean actually did this, my son did this in a grocery store. You know how you have the carts in a line in the register? He was standing in front of, he had pulled his cart in behind him, and there was a cart in front of him, and a little kid sitting on the cart, and the little kid grabbed something off the shelf, and the mother put it back, and he grabbed it again, and the mother grabbed him and went to, I mean, she was gonna put the hammer on him, and Dean reached up and grabbed her hand, and said, there's better ways to deal with this. And she kinda said some nice things to him. But, you know, I thought that was good. I asked myself after it happened, would I have done that? I don't know what I would have done, but I think that was a righteous cause. I think that was good, okay? Protection of the innocent or the glory of God. Anything apart from that, you know, that's sin. Proverbs 27.4, wrath is cruel. I love this phrase, anger is outrageous. The concept of outrageous in the Hebrew there, it's a verbal picture of a flood out of control. You ever watch it, you see all the floods this year, the hurricane, and you see the flood come through, and you see houses and cars floating. How many of you know that houses and cars floating down the mountainside is not good? Right? It's just out of control. If you get in, if you said, well, that's my car, I'm going to jump in and stop it. Okay, that's what anger sometimes is. It is outrageous. It is out of control. And I hope you never get into that position. Unfortunately, I can say I have been there before. Number three, when it's used to harm the person rather than to heal the offense. I'm not trying to fix anything, I'm trying to pay you back for what you did or what you said. That anger's wrong. I can tell you biblically that's wrong, okay? The object is not to injure another, it's to help them or to protect ourselves. Proverbs 27 five right before that other verse says this, open rebuke is better than secret love. Do you know there is a, if you really love somebody, there are times you're gonna have to say to them, you are wrong and what you're doing is wrong and you can't do it. You have to do it, you can't do it with anger. It has to be said, but that is part of love. Sometimes rebuke is part of love. I trained my kids, I don't have any problem, sometimes I did it wrong, but my goal was always to train them to be good God-fearing adults who mind authorities. And by the way, nothing's wrong with that. I should have trained him that. How we train him is the question, right? So rebuke is good. Number four, when it's accompanied by a desire for revenge, that desire is always, always sinful. You want to do a really good Bible study, just spend about four weeks. You could actually spend four months in Romans chapter 12. I mean, Romans chapter 12, there's so much there. Recompense to no man, evil for evil, right? What's the last part of the verse? Avenge not yourselves, give place to wrath. Over and over and over in that passage, especially the last part of that passage, verse 21, be not overcome with evil, but overcome evil with good. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. I mean, there's no question, there's no biblical question, there's no question for a Christian that your personal revenge-seeking is wrong. But you don't know the situation. Don't have to know the situation. I'm telling you, your person, I'm not talking about justice here, I'm talking about revenge. I will hurt them because they hurt me. If you're doing that, you're wrong. And if you're doing that in anger, you're definitely in sin. Amen? Let me keep reading, number five. When it's believed it be your right, and therefore cherished and heightened by the reflection, This is something I see a lot in young men. He disrespected me. I won't be having that, people can't treat me like that. Who do you think you are? I mean, seriously, who do you think you are? That you have a right? Listen, you live in America, everybody in America, not everybody, but most people in America believe in the right to free speech, right? People are gonna say things that you aren't gonna like. They're gonna say things politically, they're gonna say things personally, right, that you don't like. Okay, let them say it. That didn't physically hurt you, and you're in no danger from that, right? Now, you can say the truth, that you should respond to that. If you think that's error, then you should respond in truth. You shouldn't respond in anger. I'm not telling you anything you don't know, but you better remember these things. Number six, by the way, by the way, that reminds me of Jonah. Remember Jonah at the end of his trip to Nineveh, he hated, he wanted all those people to die and burn in hell. I mean, what a great attitude. And then, you know, God puts the gourd there and he takes the gourd and it says he was extremely angry. And God himself asked Jonah the question, do you do well to be angry? Anybody remember what his answer was? He said, yes. He said to God, I don't know if that freaks you out, but that freaks me out. He said to God, yes, I do. He's angry talking to God. Yes, I do well to be angry. No, you don't do well to be angry. And if it's good enough for Jonah, you too. Number six, when you have an unforgiving spirit with a determination to exact the utmost satisfaction from the injury that has been done, when it's violent, excessive, uncontrollable, and continued in after the danger has been removed, it is always sinful. We were looking at Ephesians 4. Ephesians 4.31 says, let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you with what? With all malice, evil intent. What's the next verse say? And be you kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving, right? There's an obvious comparison here. Don't be this person, be this person. Now, look at me, Christians, don't get upset with me. Many of us, many times, have read that, don't be this person, be this person, and we still chose to be this person. That's sinful. I don't care what you think about it. Well, you don't understand. Again, don't give me the circumstance. That's sinful. God said, don't be that, be this. You said, no, I'll be that. You're just as bad as Jonah. You're saying the same thing. Okay, keep reading here, number seven, when it's excited, not because of physical danger, but because of the wrong or the perceived wrong done to you by others, and it fires at the person and not the wrong done, it is wholly evil. Are you trying to hurt the person or correct the offense? Remember what Jesus said in Luke 17, right? If your brother sins against you, what do you do? You sin against him. That's what it says, right? Isn't that what Jesus said? If your brother sinned against you, you sin against him. That's not what he said. If your brother sinned against you and comes repenting, what do you do? Say it. Forgive them. I did a whole series on forgiveness, and if you can't understand that, there's something lacking in your Christian maturity, right? But again, it's what we do. Number eight, when you just won't let it go. I don't know how many times I've had to deal with this. Sometimes it's in parents until it's, you know, parenting, counseling for parenting. Sometimes it's in marriage. When something, by the way, something tragic almost always happens in every marriage. If there's two sinners living together, one of them, if not both of them, at one point in time is gonna do something stupid. Agreed? You don't agree with that? I'd like to know how your marriage is going then. Sooner or later, 48 years, I'd love to say I never did anything stupid. You wouldn't buy it anyway, okay? And there sits Becky and you'd go talk to her and say, really? Okay, so that's going to happen. Sometimes it's gonna be very foolish, very sinful and very painful. But can I tell you something? You better learn to get past that. You better learn to grant forgiveness and move on from that or life is just a bitter mess. I don't know how, I don't know how couples stay together for 40, 50 years and it's obvious they still hate each other. That's a miserable, why would you live like that? Why would you be miserable like that? I always dreamed, and I know I'm sometimes a dreamer, I always dreamed that someday Becky and I would be old and we would sit on the porch together or on the couch together and laugh and joke and enjoy each other's fellowship with all the things that happen. And we do. And I think that's the way it should be. It changes after so many years. You go through things and if you learn to get through those things together, that bond gets stronger, not weaker. And if it's getting weaker, there's probably an issue there with anger, pride, or bitterness, right? I mentioned the other day, I was talking about this, and I'm gonna close with this. I mentioned the other day I was at a marriage conference, actually a seminar, and I had four or five guys sitting at a table, and they're asking different guys about what's the biggest problem in marriage. And several people said several things, and one of them said, the guy right in front of me said, communication and finances. cause more problems in marriage than anything else. And I thought, well, that's pretty good. You know, what am I gonna say? When they asked me, I don't know what made me say it, maybe it's because I've been in enough counseling situations, I said, I don't think any of those things they've mentioned are the main problems. I think those are things that come off of the main problems. The root problem for me has always been pride and selfishness. Everything else falls, if you have a problem with pride, and if you're a selfish person, you're gonna have all kinds of, there's gonna be all kinds of marriage problems, right? And I think sometimes in the Christian life, you know, we talk about marriage problems. I think that's true with all of our problems, stemming from pride and selfishness. Why don't we give like we should? Why don't we support our missionaries like we should? Why don't we witness to our neighbor? Why don't, you know, the list goes on and on. Pride and selfishness. My time is my time. I want to do what I want to do. I'm more important than you are. And I'm more important than people dying in Africa or people dying in the Congo. I'm more important than them. Pride and selfishness, an issue with all of us. If you can get past those two things, you can find out fairly fast, you don't have as much problem with anger. I know who I am, and it ain't pretty. Only thing I can depend on is the grace and mercy of God in my life, amen? I hope you can get there. Lord, I pray that you'll continue to work in our hearts and lives, help us to see that we have a responsibility to control our temper. I think it's time, there's times when it's right, and I think it's time when we cross the line. Unfortunately, I think it's more than we would like to admit. Help us to be Christians who not just say we have a good testimony, not just talk a good Christian life, but to actually live it in front of a lost and dying world. We ask it in Christ's name, amen. You're dismissed, worship services start shortly.