Well, we're working our way through 1 Peter in our evening services and the title, the theme that is very popular for 1 Peter is to stand firm. Peter's writing to Christians who are facing persecution And we work through chapter one and the beginning of chapter two about rejoicing in our salvation even when persecution comes. And now we're in this really big section beginning in chapter two verse 11 all the way through 414. It's about godly living in an ungodly world. I can't think of anything more relevant for the church now because we live in a very ungodly world and we need help in knowing how to live godly. You say, well, how do we live godly? Well, this is a little bit of a review. It is always right to abstain from the fleshly lusts that wage war against our souls. And the first thing we have to do in the midst of this ungodly world is realize the first thing we need to do is just set aside the world for a second. My greatest enemy is inside me. And I have a flesh and it lusts and I have to abstain from those lusts and pray that the first thing God does is do a work of grace in my life and help me to say no to temptation and say yes to Jesus Christ. And chapter two, verse 12, then engage in good works. It's always right, abstain from fleshly lusts and do good works. Those two thoughts, man, that's great biblical counsel for a whole lot of challenges that we face. Then Peter's going to begin a series of practical applications, and we've been through these. Chapter 2 verses 13 through 17 is all about submission when you live under an ungodly government. And that was a difficulty then, and it's certainly to a degree a difficulty now. Chapter two, verses 18 through 20, submission and ungodly masters, that was addressed to slaves. Many of them in very, most of them, no doubt, in incredibly difficult situations. And Peter encouraging them in how to live godly. And then Peter gives us an incredible example of submission and the suffering of Christ. And we look both at the example of the Lord Jesus Christ and the efficacious sufferings of the Lord Jesus Christ. And now we're gonna begin something new tonight as Peter begins with what we would know as chapter three beginning in verse one, submission and ungodly husbands. And this is a word for wives. So we're gonna actually take this section and I'm anticipating three messages on this. Now, one reason would be because I am actively trying to be cautious on our Sunday nights, to have the messages a little briefer. And I think that's helpful. I know many of you have young family and you wanna get the children home and schools tomorrow and all of that. So that's part of it, but it's also just wanting to make sure we understand this crucial passage. So tonight's message, I've called the Christ-like wife, And we're going to focus on 1 Peter chapter 3, part of verse 1, letting the context of the scriptures really help us to understand what's going on here. 1 Peter chapter 3, I'll read verse 1. In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands. And then Peter continues, even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives. I'd like us to look at a couple of things and my goal is for those ladies in our congregation who struggle with being married to ungodly men, and yes that's a reality in our congregation, for those maybe who thank the Lord that we're not in that situation, but we certainly know of people who are, and we wanna know how to give them wise counsel. My hope is that this passage, this message tonight will help us. So what we see in this message is about a Christ-like wife. Number one, the first point, she may suffer under an ungodly husband. And that's what Peter's talking about here. Peter says, in the same way you wives. You say, what do you mean in the same way you wives? Okay, let's talk a little bit about context. Peter is talking to people that are suffering in an ungodly world. And what Peter is doing is he's addressing women that are married. Women that are married and have disobedient, you see that in verse one, even if any of them are disobedient to the word. So women that are married to men that are most probably not saved, men that we would include perhaps in this they claim to be saved but aren't really actively following Christ. And notice that Peter is dealing with them right parallel to the other groups of people we've talked about. Parallel, for example, to citizens under an ungodly government. It's parallel. You might be living in a country where the emperor, the Roman government, is very ungodly. That would be parallel to a woman being married to an ungodly man. You say, well, what would that woman do? Well, let's review a little bit tonight. We're gonna go back to chapter two. Would you just kind of scroll up or turn the page or maybe just look back a little bit at chapter two? Notice what Peter says in verses 13 through 17. Submit, key word, submission yourselves for the Lord's sake. To every human institution, whether to a king as the one in authority or to governors assent by him, for the punishment of evildoers and the praise of those who do right, for such is the will of God, that by doing right you may silence the ignorance of foolish men. Act as freemen, do not use your freedom as a covering for evil, but use it as bond slaves of God. Honor all people, love the brotherhood, fear God, honor the king. No one wants to live under an ungodly government. I don't, you don't. But God in his sovereignty ordains that at times that's reality. No woman wants to be married to an ungodly husband. But in reality, in God's sovereignty, that is frequently true. And if you're a person living in a country with an ungodly government, it doesn't mean you're out of God's will, It doesn't mean that you have sinned and God's punishing you. I hope you know where I'm going. If you're a woman married to an ungodly man, it doesn't mean you're out of God's will. It doesn't mean that God is somehow punishing you. It means that life is very, very difficult. And you need help knowing how to be a godly woman married to an ungodly man. Just like citizens in an ungodly government need help in knowing how to live godly lives. That's the first parallel. Notice the second parallel. It's in chapter two, verses 18 through 20. And Peter addresses slaves that have ungodly masters. I'll begin reading in 2.18. Servants, we could say slaves. Be submissive to your masters with all respect, Not only to those who are good and gentle, but also to those who are unreasonable. There are slaves with unreasonable masters. There are women with unreasonable husbands, unfortunately. For this finds favor for the sake of conscience toward God, a person bears up under sorrows when suffering unjustly. For what credit is there if when you sin and are harshly treated, you endure it with patience? But if when you do what is right and suffer for it, you patiently endure it, this finds favor with God. So what's the point that we're making? We're trying to draw the parallel to make it clear, being a Christian doesn't guarantee a trial-free life. There are people who are active followers of Jesus Christ, they love Christ, and they're living in countries where the government's incredibly ungodly. In this era, there were slaves loving Jesus Christ, and they had masters that were incredibly ungodly. And even today, there are women who are actively following Christ, and they love Jesus Christ, and their husbands are incredibly ungodly. And that's a reality. And ladies, if this pertains to you, I don't say that lightly. I don't say that glibly. I hope you know my heart. My heart towards you is your brother in Christ, is one of love. My heart to you is I want to encourage you from the scriptures. And I regret that that's the case, even as I would regret having a brother or sister in Christ who's being persecuted by government. And so I want to encourage you that even though you may be in that situation, it doesn't mean you've done something wrong. It doesn't mean God is displeased with you. Under the sovereign hand of God, he has ordained that here you are in a marriage and you're married to an ungodly man, and we as believers should realize that that's a reality. It was a reality back in the first century, and it's a reality today as well. You say, okay, Greg, so what does a woman do? Well, let's go back to verse one, 1 Peter chapter three. In the same way, you say, what do you mean in the same way? Well, in the same way it refers back to something, and most people would believe it would refer back to the paragraph, chapter 2, verses 21 through 25. In the same way that Jesus Christ suffered A believing, godly woman will be ready to suffer in the same way that Jesus did. That's our second point. Not only will the Christ-like wife, number one, she at least may suffer under an ungodly husband, number two, she would follow Christ's example in suffering. And again, we're gonna let the scripture just kind of flesh this out for us, and this again will be a review. How did Jesus Christ suffer? Let's review chapter two, verses 21 through 26, the suffering of Christ. Notice, first of all, He didn't sin. Verse 21, chapter two, you've been called for this purpose since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps, who committed no sin. nor was any deceit found in his mouth. Much easier to say than to live, I would easily acknowledge that. But even when your husband sins against you, that would not make it right for you to sin in return. And you say, where can I find an example of somebody who actually lives that way? It's right here, it's Jesus. He is your example. That's what Peter's saying in verse 21. Number one, he didn't sin. Number two, he didn't retaliate. It says right here in the text, what, verse 23? While being reviled, he did not revile in return. And I think we're all tempted to do that. You hurt me, I'm gonna hurt you back. My husband gives me a hard time, let him learn what it's like too. And that's never God's way. Jesus didn't sin, two, he didn't retaliate, three, he didn't threaten. It says here in verse 23, while suffering he uttered no threats. Three negatives, but here's the wonderful positive, this is Old Review number four, but kept entrusting himself to him who judges righteously. And I reminded us, especially if you're reading A New American Standard, you see that the word himself is in italics. This may mean that Jesus kept entrusting himself. It may be broader. It may be he kept entrusting to him who judges righteously. Entrusting what? Much more than just himself. The whole situation. A woman who is married to an ungodly man and who is suffering, what does she do? She does more than entrust herself to the one who judges righteously. She entrusts the whole situation. That's what Peter is saying. And so when we talk about a Christlike wife, she would, number one, she would realize, yes, she may suffer under an ungodly husband. And again, I don't wanna be glib in saying that. I don't wish that on anyone, but it's a reality. Number two, she is to follow Christ's example in suffering. And then let's look for a third point in verse one. Chapter three, verse one, in the same way you wives Be submissive to your own husbands. And that's number three. The Christlike wife submits to her own ungodly husband. To submit, we've covered this word, but just a quick review, it means to place yourself under another's authority. It's the idea that, yes, I will order myself under you. It's frequently used in a military context. So when you're in a military setting and the general or whoever's above you says to you, private or sergeant, do this, then you would say, yes, sir. And whatever's appropriate, salute in a respectful way. And you would do what he tells you to do. That's submission. You don't fight. You don't push back. Peter says that's what a Christ-like wife would do. She would be submissive. It says, to your own husband, and notice, even if any of them are disobedient to the word. So this includes an ungodly husband. Now I wanna be careful, let me make a point. This does not say all women are to submit to all men. The Bible does not teach that all women submit to all men. The Bible teaches that there are specific instances, marriage one of them, when a wife would submit, notice the wording, she would be submissive to your own husband, not the next woman's husband, but your own husband. And it says, even if any of them are disobedient to the word, that's an ungodly husband. I would never use an illustration that would be from the church family, so I guarantee this is not from our church. In fact, it's not even from the person who is struggling. Occasionally, pastors, whatever, we talk to each other, and there's another pastor, and he said to me, Greg, can I bounce something off you? I said, yeah, what's up? He said, there's a couple and she's a really godly woman. She's following Christ. She's married to an ungodly man who sometimes says he's saved, sometimes says he's not. I don't think he's a believer. He doesn't keep a job very long. He spends money freely even though he doesn't really have it. And they continue to plunge into debt and it's getting worse and worse. And she's thinking maybe she's going to separate from him so that she can then get her own bank account, she makes more money than he does, and she can save herself from financial ruin. Greg, what do you think of that? Well, I said to him, let's open up to 1 Peter 3, verse 1, where it says, in the same way you wives be submissive to your own husbands, even if any of them are disobedient to the word. My understanding of the scriptures is even though it makes logical sense, and even though Christians would disagree with me, based on the authority of the Bible, I would encourage her not to do that. She would submit to her ungodly husband. And the gentleman, he wasn't pushing back, but he was saying, even if it means her financial ruin. I don't have a text that says I'm not allowed to face financial ruin. He said, even if they end up losing their house. I don't have a text that says I have to keep my house. But I do have a text that says a wife is to submit to her ungodly husband. Now, there are many other things we talked about. I would hope somebody would talk to her husband, would encourage her husband, show love to her husband, and talk to him about how faithful Christ is to him and how he should wanna be faithful to Christ if he is a believer. And that would include working faithfully. That would include providing for his household. And certainly somebody would want to talk to him about the responsibilities of learning to be content with such things as you have and not plunging into debt for things you don't need. So there's many, many things that we would want to talk to this man about. But the gentleman asking me the question said, Greg, all of that's taken place. She's struggling with, do I pull out? Do I separate? Do I financially go separate to protect myself? And my answer to the gentleman who's counseling with this woman was, spend some time meditating in 1 Peter, and really get a handle on the end of chapter two, how Christ suffered, and then transition into chapter three, verse one. Because as I understand it, God's word would be in the same way, meaning as Christ suffered, you wives, you godly wives, Be submissive to your own husbands, even if they're disobedient to the word. Okay? Those are the three points I wanted to cover tonight. And you're like, wow, this is awesome. We're out of here. I didn't say we're out of here. Those are the three points I wanted to cover tonight. And my guess is many will have questions, and I want to hit a few questions. A few questions that I would assume many of you had that relate to submission in the role of wives. So let's hit a few questions real quick. Number one, Greg, are husbands and wives equal? I mean, if this is a reality, then are men and women in a marriage relationship equal? And the answer would be absolutely yes. Men are not better than women. Husbands are not better than wives, I assure you. The Bible makes it clear, Galatians 3.28. There's neither Jew nor Greek. There's neither slave nor free man. There's neither male nor female. You are all one in Christ Jesus. So when the Bible talks about submission, we're not saying that a husband's better than a wife. In God's eyes, all people are equal. We're all sinful people desperately in need of a Savior. And to teach what the Bible teaches is not to say that somehow a husband is better. Simple illustration, I think I've used before. When I'm driving down the road and I see blue lights in the back, which thankfully is not often, I immediately pull over. And when the officer says, sir, may I see your license? I don't say no. I mean, I'm a pastor. Are you a pastor? I have a PhD in New Testament. Do you? I mean, I think in many ways I'm better than you. Why don't you show me your license? I don't say that. I look at the police officer, regardless of who he is, and I say, yes, sir, because God has given him a place of authority related to law enforcement. It doesn't mean he's better than me. It doesn't mean I'm better than him. In Christ, we're equal as believers, even if we have different roles. That's the point we're trying to make. So our spouse is equal, yes. You say, well, then gender roles are identical. Well, slow down. Before you would say yes, let's think that through. It is becoming very common in the church of Jesus Christ, unfortunately. for people to say yes, gender roles are identical. And I think it'd even be good for you to know what that word is. Many of you know this. It's the word egalitarianism. There are many churches, I regret, that would practice an egalitarian view of gender roles. They would say there's no difference between the role of a husband and the role of a wife. There's no difference in the church. That's why in many churches, and I regret this, they are now ordaining women as elders. I believe that is contrary to the Scriptures. But those who would say yes, they take what is called an egalitarian viewpoint. I would believe the Bible teaches very clearly that gender roles are not identical. You say, what's that called? A complementarian view. God has made men and women equal in His sight, yet with different gender roles, not one better than the other, they complement one another. And within a marriage, the role of a husband and the role of a wife, different should complement. And so gender roles would not be identical. You say, okay, so how do you determine whether you say, yes, gender roles are identical and take an egalitarian view or a complementarian viewpoint? I believe it just goes back to authority. Is the Bible your authority? If I accept the authority of Scripture, I come to a passage. What passage? We'll take the one we're at, 1 Peter 3.1. In the same way, you wives be submissive to your husbands, even if they're disobedient. And I don't run from it. I know it's not popular today. I know people will make fun of you ladies if you dare believe this. And some of you ladies I know have Christian friends who would make fun of you if you lived this kind of life. That is like so old-fashioned. I mean, that's how my grandparents lived. But we have a Bible. And I am fully committed to the authority of Scripture, regardless of how our culture changes. And the very best I understand what the Bible teaches, there are different roles for males and females. Now some people just don't care what the Bible teaches. There are other people who would take an egalitarian viewpoint, and they would say, I believe the Bible, but there should be no distinction in gender roles. You say, Greg, how do they try to pull that off? That'll take us to a third question, number three. They would say submission is cultural. So I ask my third question, isn't submission cultural? Well, let me pause. There are items in the Bible that are cultural, a very common example. We are taught repeatedly in the New Testament to greet one another with a holy kiss. We don't do that in our culture. Now for some of us, we're in families where we kiss one another and we're openly affectionate, and I'm from a family like that. But I don't walk up to you men, and my understanding is that was the same gender kiss. I don't walk up to you men and kiss you on the cheek and say, the Bible says so. And if you say, why not, Greg? I would say, well, because I believe that's cultural. Okay, so let's deal with the question. Well, isn't submission cultural? I don't think it's difficult to answer that. Let's just address how the Bible deals with it. Just one passage, 1 Timothy 2, 11 through 13. I have it on the screen. A woman must quietly receive instruction with entire submissiveness. That's the teaching of the Bible. But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet. That's the teaching of the Bible. And you might say, but the Bible also teaches to greet one another with a holy kiss. So how do you know this is not cultural? Just the next line answers that. Paul says the reason we do this, verse 13, 1 Timothy 2, it was Adam who was first created and then Eve. There was no culture at creation. Creation precedes culture. Before there was a culture, God created Adam and God created Eve. And Paul, writing as he would be led by the Spirit, says, this is why there's a difference. And so it is rooted in a truth that precedes culture. From the very beginning, from the creation itself, God ordained that there would be a difference between the role of a man and the role of a woman, as Paul speaks of in 1 Timothy 2, 11 through 13. He also gives a second reason in verse 14, and you can look at that if you'd like. So when we deal with, is submission cultural? Paul makes it very clear that the answer would be no. Now, some people will play hardball with you, and they'll say, fine, so I guess you believe in slavery too. And you go, what? And they'll say, open up to 1 Timothy. I mean, if you're going to say chapter three, verse one still applies that a woman has to be submissive to her husband, even a disobedient husband in that, then I guess you're going to go back to chapter two, verse 18 to 20 and say that slavery is ordained of God, right? And that's a question that people will ask. And it's not really a question that they're looking for an answer. It's a question that's supposed to show you, see, I told you this doesn't work. I've worded the question this way. Is a complementarian position an endorsement of slavery? And the answer is no. Because slavery was cultural. God did not establish slavery. God did not ordain slavery. Yet, At this time, there was slavery. And the way that Christians could live godly lives in an ungodly world, even when they had ungodly masters, was to what? We've already seen this, remember? It was to fight against the fleshly lusts that wage war against their souls, and then to do good works. And to live that kind of exemplary life, even with an ungodly slave master. But that does not mean that slavery was ordained of God. The scripture makes it clear, submission of a wife to a husband was ordained of God. So to take 1 Peter 2 and to say if you believe that chapter three verse one still applies today, then slavery would still be proper today. I would say it's certainly not the case, and that's simply not logical reasoning. One was ordained of God, and one was not. Those were the four questions I wanted to deal with. And as always, you might have others, and you're always welcome to let me know. Contact me, email me, or what have you. I wanna end our time tonight with what I'm going to call practical pastoral counsel. And yes, again, I am aware and my heart is heavy for some of my sisters in Christ that are married to ungodly men. So I didn't wanna just leave this too soon. And my concern is for our congregation as a whole. I'd like to share in closing four items that I hope you'll give some thought to, and especially as one who teaches college-age students, as one who still has two daughters that are not married yet adults. My first point is this, women, be careful whom you marry. And I say that sincerely, be careful whom you marry. The Bible teaches that the husband is the leader in a marriage relationship. If I could address those of you that are not married, what happens when your husband wants to do something not only stupid, but really stupid, right? Like, honey, I'm quitting my job. Let's sell the house. I got a great idea. I'm sure it's going to work. I have the world's greatest invention. And nobody agrees with me because they don't see it. But it's awesome. And you come to me and say, Pastor Greg, what do I do? And I would say, appeal to your husband. Reason with your husband. And you say, he's unreasonable. I would say, I will try to reason with your husband. And I come back and say, you're right, he is unreasonable. And then you say, what do I do as a godly woman? You submit to your husband's foolish ideas. And if that means selling the house and quitting the job, that's what you would do. You say, wow, that's what the Bible teaches. Yes. You say, if that's really what the Bible teaches, I ought to be really, really careful before getting married. And all God's people said, amen. I mean, boy, he's so cute. Guys, that doesn't last very long. Cute guys can make very stupid decisions. You want to make sure that you're taking your time, ladies, and being careful who you would marry. so that you're confident that this is somebody who loves Jesus Christ. And because he loves Jesus Christ, he loves you. And he would be the kind of person who would be a good spiritual leader. Women, please, be careful whom you marry. I say that with the heart of a pastor. Number two, wives. God has ordained law enforcement. I've mentioned this before, it is so easy for someone to hear what I'm not saying. Great, Greg, my husband beats me, so take it and trust Christ. No, your husband beats you one time, dial 911 and trust Christ. And trust Christ that law enforcement will come and arrest your husband and will put a restraining order on him if needed and will incarcerate him as needed. And that's a good thing because God has ordained law enforcement. And I would never say, if your husband were to abuse you physically and hurt you, well, just claim 1 Peter 3 and hang in there. I would say, let me get the order right. Dial 911, claim 1 Peter 3. and then hang in there and get your brothers and sisters to help you and encourage you as you go through this difficult time. That is a godly thing to do. And I know that guys can manipulate and can say, oh, great, so now you're going to call the police and ruin the marriage or ruin the family. And the godly wife says, no, when you hit me, you ruined the family. Don't put it on me. Right, you are the one who engaged in criminal behavior. I'm just reporting it. Don't try to twist that and somehow blame me. It's your fault. And that woman would dial 911, and I have zero reservations in encouraging a woman to do that. Wives, God has ordained law enforcement, and you would want to counsel your sisters in Christ that way if something physically abusive would take place. Number three, spouses, both men and women, husbands and wives, the Bible permits divorce. And obviously we can't be overly detailed, time doesn't permit it, but Matthew 5 and 19 say in the case of adultery the Bible does permit divorce and remarriage. First Corinthians 7, in the case of abandonment, So if you know of a godly woman living for Christ, and here's her husband, and he is living a very ungodly life, out committing adultery, and then yet what? Well, I guess you're stuck with me. No, that's not the case. And if that's the kind of life you're living, then a godly woman would certainly have permission to file for divorce, to protect herself, to protect the children. And Jesus makes that very clear in Matthew chapter 5, Matthew chapter 19. Paul addresses that with abandonment as well. And so I say that again, that we don't take 1 Peter 3 out of context. lest somebody think, wow, my husband's out living an incredibly adulterous, immoral life, and here I am, and I guess I just sit back and take him back anytime he wants. These would be things we want to be cautious that we don't jump to unwise conclusions. Finally, last one, suffering wives. You may be married to an ungodly husband. He's not beating you, but he's an ungodly husband. He may not be committing adultery, but he's an ungodly husband. And he doesn't appreciate you. He's not kind towards you. He treats you in ways that are definitely not Christ-like. Now, if he's a believer, then of course there's a way for Christians to follow up with that and appeal to him. He may not be a believer. But Christ gives an example of how a woman would respond. Even in her suffering, she would submit to a disobedient husband. That's the word of God. 1 Peter 3, verse one. So if perhaps, maybe, I know of some of our ladies that are in this situation. You may say, Greg, I'm there and you don't know it. Okay, the heart of the elders of our church is we wanna help you. So if you would be in a situation like this, talk to one of us and our heart would be to pray with you and encourage you and to go through a perhaps very difficult time of being submissive to a disobedient husband. You say, I don't know if I could do that. I don't know if I could do that. I don't think any of us could do that apart from God's grace. And the great need in this situation is certainly for God's grace. And if you're going through a situation like this, you need the church, you need sisters in Christ to come alongside and pray with you and encourage you and help you. And it may be that you need men in Christ to reach out to your husband, and that would be a good thing. And yet taking off, running away, saying, I'm out of here, this guy just drives me crazy, and I've had enough, is not Peter's counsel to a Christ-like wife. But she, by God's grace, would follow the example of Christ in submission even to a disobedient husband. You say, why? What's the goal? What's the purpose? Well, by God's grace, we will continue in this passage next time and hopefully be able to answer even more of the questions that you may have. As always, if I can be of help to you, if any of the elders of Trinity can be of help to you, if you have Maybe not a personal situation, but just questions and concerns. Contact me. I'd be glad to meet with you ladies, be glad to meet with you with my wife, or have one of the other ladies of the church meet with you. Let's pray.