If you look in your bulletins on the song sheet, but on the other side of the song sheet, you'll see our outline for today. Before we get into that, let's pray together and ask for the Lord's help and favor on our time. Father, we come to you in the name of your Son, because of what he has purchased and accomplished for us, by what we even just sang about, that the greatest stroke to Pearson was the one that justice gave. And we know from your word that that came from you, that you were pleased to crush him. that he would make his soul a guilt offering, even for our guilt. And Father, as we come to your word, we will see a measure of how guilty we really are with something that we claim to know so well. Help us not to harden our hearts, Help us to receive the truth, to receive conviction, to receive encouragement, and Lord, grant us repentance and faith and a heightened view and appreciation and love for the Lord Jesus Christ. It's in his name we pray, amen. The title of the message is Honor in the Home, the Foundation of Society. And as you recall from last week, we did a review, not on the head side, but on the heart side, and we looked at John chapter 15, and we saw that abiding in Christ is synonymous with love and obedience, that to love Christ is to keep his commandments. And here, if you turn with me to 1 John chapter 4, First John chapter four, if we look at verse 16 and following, we'll see a confusing on the surface passage, but our understanding that we learned from last week and the study that we've been going through, along with a few words from today, will help us better grasp what the apostle is teaching us here. First John 4.16, and we have come to know and have believed the love which God has in us. God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in Him. By this. By what? By this abiding. Love has been perfected with us, so that we may have confidence in the day of judgment, because as He is, so also are we, In this world, there is no fear in love. But perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love. We love because He first loved us. What is it to be perfected in love? God's love being expressed through our person in actions that demonstrate our love. This is synonymous, as we learned last week, with abiding. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and abide in his love. What John is teaching us here is love to God and love to neighbor, one another, our brothers. Perfected love is not the same as flawless love. We have to remember that. And when he says there is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear, he's saying when we joyfully keep God's commandments, then we abide in his love. It's very similar to John 15. Then love, when we keep those commandments, has been perfected within us. And this produces assurance. This is the confidence that we have in the day of judgment. It's assurance. This also removes our fear of punishment that when your conscience starts railing against you and that it raises within you when you sin. So perfected in love is that disposition of the heart of the believer that desires and longs to be obedient to Christ, willingly, joyfully. So there's no, well, I want to do this, but what if I get caught? What if I get in trouble? What if I am found out and then I get punished for this? There's none of that because you are living obediently to the law of God by faith in Jesus Christ. You're expressing the love of God effectually in your life. And there's no penalty for obedience. So you're living in love, by faith, walking the same way Christ walked. in obedience to the commands of the Father. 1 John 5, 3, For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments, and his commandments are not burdensome. When they're burdensome, we are not perfected in love. And this brings us to our second heading, the linchpin. The linchpin. Today, by God's grace, marks our move from the first to the second table of the law. The first table of the law, commandments one through four. The second table of the law, commandments five through 10. Picturing the two tablets that Moses brought down from Sinai. And since, as we've been learning, love is the sum of the law, and love must have an object, our love has two objects. God and our neighbor. And these objects correspond with the two tables of the law. The first table, commands 1 through 4, primarily are directed towards loving God. The second table, commandments 5 through 10, primarily are directed towards loving our neighbor. And this is one of the main points of 1 John, is proper obedience and placement to the law of God. We know we love God. When we joyfully obey his law, that love will also be expressed in part by love to one another. First John 4 20. If someone says, I love God and hates his brother, he is a liar for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot is not able to love God whom he has not seen. And we know that love for one another when we obey God's commandments Look at 1 John 5, 2. By this we know that we love the children of God. When we love God and do His commandments. Do you see this reciprocal nature between this love? How am I to know that I love God? Well, I'm going to love my brother. How am I to know that I love my brother? I'm going to love God and keep His commandments. It's a circle. That's what John is teaching us here. Love is identical with joyful, lawful obedience to God's Word. And the fifth commandment is that linchpin that connects the two tables of the law. For here we see, in a sense, a repeat of the first commandment. The same principle, the same precept. Authority. Authority. God, our affectionately authoritative sovereign, has delegated his own authority to his image bearers as his vice regents, even as we saw all the way back in the garden that he did with Adam. But he has not delegated his authority equally to every image-bearer. Rather, what he's done is he has assigned a measure of authority in a hierarchical fashion. And he's deputized particular positions and offices in which select image-bearers are then authorized to exercise a limited measure of power and control for the glory of God and for the good of mankind. We'll get into those limits, Lord willing, next week. And so, we see this link between the first commandment and the fifth, and that link is affectionate authority. Affectionate authority. So let's see how this fifth commandment unfolds. Let's get into it. Exodus 20. Exodus 20, verse 12. Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which Yahweh your God gives you. And this command breaks nicely up into two parts. The command, honor your father and mother, and the promise, that your days may be prolonged in the land which Yahweh your God gives you. We're only gonna focus on the command today. And I don't even know if we're gonna have time for that. The command. Honor your father and mother. What is honor? What does it mean to honor? And it's the verb form of the noun glory. Glory. Let's hear it used in Exodus 14, four. God says, thus I will harden Pharaoh's heart with strength and he will pursue them And I will be glorified. There's our verb. I will be glorified through Pharaoh and all his armies so that the Egyptians will know that I am Yahweh. This is our word for honor. The idea behind the word is one of weight. Weight, something that's heavy. It's used both literally and figuratively. We see it used literally in 1 Samuel 4.18. When Eli the priest heard of the ark being captured, he fell off his seat and broke his neck because he was, some of your translations say, a very fat man. But the word is heavy. Figuratively? The prophet Samuel was deemed a man of weight. When Saul and his servant were going and looking for the donkeys, the servant said, this is a man of honor. He's weighty. This concept of weight carries over in English as well. If you're in Portland or something and some vagabond comes up and says to you, you have been found guilty. You're probably not going to pay him any mind. You might just ignore him. You're not going to listen. You're just going to keep going. But if a judge in a courtroom says to you, you are guilty, now those words carry weight. Weight. And you'll feel the weight of those words. So the main thrust of this command, honor your father and mother, is give weight to your father and your mother, value them highly, glorify them, honor them. And honor begins as a heart attitude, a heart attitude. And as we've learned, these commands are aimed at our heart. And I've listed those principles again for you at the bottom of your notes page. Let's see how many of them you see coming into play here, because they all are, and they all will today. These commands are aimed at our hearts, for the very reason that the heart is the mission center control of our person. Thinking, intending, feeling, willing. Both sin and righteousness begin in our hearts. And so this command will no doubt be challenging for many of us as we've been smothered and inculcated and saturated in a culture that champions equality and now equity, independence, autonomy, pride, and just all around good old-fashioned, unvarnished selfishness. The whole Disney theology. Follow your heart. where their main storyline from a handful of movies is a young girl disobeying her father's authority, and their father comes at the end after she's victorious and wins, and she's right and her father's wrong, and the father seeks the forgiveness of the daughter. And yet, when we come to the world that God has described for us in his word. When we come and we see what God has spoken with his own mouth, what Yahweh has written down on tablets of stone with his own finger, we see that we are not all equal. There are superiors and there are inferiors. There are those that are properly termed our betters. And if this bothers you, In any way whatsoever, no matter how small, then I just want to gently and lovingly remind you that you are under obligation right now to repent. Because you're fighting against a structure and a hierarchy that God has created. For good. Now, in honoring our parents, and by extension from that, all authorities, it involves no less than three aspects. Fear, submission, and gratitude. Let's look at the first one together, fear. You can note down Leviticus 19.3, and I'll read it for you. Every one of you shall fear his mother and his father, and you shall keep my Sabbaths. I am Yahweh your God." This is a striking verse considering people are not to be feared. Time and time again, we're told not to fear people. In fact, fear of man is a snare. Dozens of times throughout the scripture, Even in Deuteronomy, if you start in chapter 1, you'll find dozens of times by the time you get to chapter 10, do not fear him, do not fear them. God alone, Yahweh alone is to be feared. And yet here we see God bestowing upon parents a measure of His authority, rationing out fear that rightfully belongs to him, and commanding children to fear people. And he's doing it in his own name. He ends with, I am Yahweh, your God. So we see that family authority stands as a divine pillar in the structure of human life. Its collapse signals the unraveling of society's very soul. When parental authority is disregarded, it opens the door to moral decay and cultural disintegration. Also, you probably heard that this sacred principle is inseparably bound to the Sabbath command, which points to its transcendence, that these commands are not the product of societal consent, This isn't just a structure made up by people. Rather, this is a call to honor a divine order greater than humanity, an order established by God himself. And so to reject this order is not just a sabotage of our own social fabric in which we live. It's an insult to the Creator's authority, and it's a descent into temporal and eternal chaos. The erosion of family authority and the Sabbath deteriorates the bonds of any society when someone chooses to disregard them, and it invites collapse, where love, honor, reverence, and obedience should reign. Now, fear This word fear, it's kind of an elusive word for us English speakers. We tend to link fear with being afraid. Sometimes we like to be afraid, sometimes we don't like to be afraid. You can watch a scary movie, and sometimes you like that little bit of scare, but then you don't like when your child or your spouse is hiding in the closet and jumps out and scares you. What is the fear? We're afraid of some harm, of some evil befalling us. And the term is used this way. Since we're in Exodus 20, let's look at verse 18. After the giving of the Ten Commandments, it reads, And all the people perceived the thunder and the lightning flashes and the sound of the trumpet and the mountain smoking. The people perceived it, and they shook. They're trembling, and stood at a distance. Then they said to Moses, Speak to us yourself, and we will listen. But let not God speak to us, lest we die. And Moses said to the people, Do not be afraid. That's our word. For God has come in order to test you, and in order that the fear, that's our word again, The fear of Him may be with you so that you may not sin. What is going on here? Do not fear. This is happening so that you will be afraid. What? Well, we learned that there are two kinds of fear. Even from this passage. There's a sinful fear, which Israel obviously had, and then there's a holy fear, the fear that Moses calls them to. And what we notice in our own life is not dissimilar to the experience we see from the Israelites. What we fear ends up controlling us. Fear motivates us. Fear captivates us. And there's times that fear can even paralyze us. I'm afraid of heights. And I can remember, when I was younger, being stuck and basically paralyzed from fear, just from looking and seeing how high up I was. For most of you, it probably wasn't very high up. But for me, it was high enough. And if you study this word fear and its synonyms, which, Lord willing, we'll do in the future, you'll find that holy fear is a motion of the heart, and it's unique to those who are regenerate. We notice in Romans 3.18 that one of the marks of the unregenerate is that there is no fear of God before their eyes. It's a gift of God's grace, and it's linked with the promise of the new covenant. If you're up for it, turn to Jeremiah 32. Jeremiah 32, we'll look at verse 38. And they shall be my people, and I will be their God, and I will give them one heart and one way, that they may fear me always for their own good and for the good of their children after them. And I will cut an everlasting covenant with them that I will not turn away from them to do good to them. And I will put the fear of me in their hearts so that they will not turn away from me. So what is it to fear God? What is it to fear God? Let's look at Deuteronomy 10. Deuteronomy 10 verse 12. So now Israel, what does Yahweh your God ask from you but to fear Yahweh your God? And then he sums up what it looks like to fear Yahweh your God. to walk in all His ways and love Him, and to serve Yahweh your God with all your heart and with all your soul, and to keep the commandments of Yahweh and His statutes, which I am commanding you today, for your good." The fear of God is the soul of godliness. John Murray said that. The fear of God is the soul of godliness. It's the essence of true piety and holiness. It's going to be the difference between someone that's pietistic and pious, godly. And what Moses terms fearing God in Deuteronomy 6, 13, when he says, Yahweh your God you shall fear, and him you shall serve, and by his name you shall swear. This is the verse that Jesus quotes in the first temptation against Satan, except Jesus says it's worship. He replaces the term fear with the word worship. George Swinnick puts it this way. Those that worship God give him their hottest love, their highest joy, their deepest sorrow, their strongest faith, and the greatest fear. Now, although the fear of God and the believer is not primarily concerned with dreadful terror, when there is a cause for terror, and the professing believer does not experience that terror, it is a sure sign of hardened ungodliness. The immature believer will occasionally experience fear of discipline. That's different. So there's the fear of punishment, fear of condemnation that we saw in 1 John. And then less than that, there's fear of discipline. You know, when you are wanting something that is, quote-unquote, off-limits, you know it's wrong, you know it's sinful. But you're not pursuing it because of the pain that you'll likely experience by a loving father when he disciplines you. That's fear of discipline. And this is an immature motive for holiness. But it's better than choosing to sin. The mature believer is governed by love. By love. He knows God's law. He delights in God's law. He studies God's law with joy, day and night. He's not cringing. and creeping around every corner wondering when he's going to get spanked. Oh great, here's God, God's coming. He doesn't see the law as a list of do's and don'ts, things I want I can't have. He doesn't even ask, what will God do to me if, fill in the blank. He loves God and he fears displeasing Him. That's what he fears. displeasing him, and thereby causing a rift in that sweet communion that he has with his heavenly Father. He's captivated by God. He's motivated by communion with him. He's controlled by God's law. And this is not just Old Testament. This is for the believer in any age. Look with me at 1 Peter. 1 Peter chapter 1, beginning in verse 14. And I know you already know this. As obedient children, not being conformed to the former lusts, which were yours in ignorance, but like the Holy One who called you, be holy yourselves also in all your conduct, because it is written, you shall be holy, for I am holy. And if you address as father the one who impartially judges according to each one's work, conduct yourselves in fear during the time of your sojourn. Why? Knowing that you were not redeemed with corruptible things like silver or gold from your futile conduct inherited from your forefathers, but with precious blood as of a lamb unblemished and spotless, the blood of Christ. Peter has the same understanding of fear. The love, and the cherishing, and the gratitude, and the thankfulness, and the affection for the Lord Jesus Christ that stir his heart. So we see fear of God is a result of regeneration. And it grows in degrees as we've seen. You could have fear of punishment, And if that keeps you from sinning, that's a good thing, but it's still immature. You could have fear of being disciplined, and if it keeps you from sinning, that's a good thing, but it's still immature. But when you have a fear of displeasing your father, how could I do that? You're like Joseph. How could I do this act of wickedness and sin against my God? I can't do that. It grows by having a hunger for knowing Him, His holiness, His character, His glory, His attributes. It's expressed by an increase in wonder, love, and captivation that leads to continuous worship all throughout the day, no matter the task you're doing. And it's evidenced by a progressive working of obedience to His law. And so we, as Christians, must labor to know Him more, to love Him more, to serve Him more, As George Swinnick puts it, the whole soul embraces God. His will chooses Him. His affections love Him. His desire is after Him. His fear is of Him. His trust is upon Him. His care and endeavor to walk worthy of the Lord and to please Him at all times and in every respect. And so, what about you, Christian? As you hear this, and you're examining your own life, is your worship dull, lifeless? Is your obedience often half-hearted? I don't want to do this, but I know I have to do this. How often do you find yourself distracted, mindlessly being pulled away by worldly desires or anxieties of this present age? Do you want, do you desire to grow in the fear of Yahweh? To embrace Him with your whole soul? To feel His holy presence enlivening your entire being? Then we should all pray with David. Teach me your way, O Yahweh, and I will walk in your truth. Unite my heart. to fear your name, Psalm 86, 11. So with that cursory understanding of what the fear of Yahweh is, what is it then to fear one's parents? What is it to fear one's parents? Well, we are to have a holy reverence for them that falls just short of worship. There's only one man that's to be worshiped, and he is the Lord Jesus Christ. But this, remember, is first a disposition in our hearts. It's not primarily external. We're not Pharisees. This is heart worship. We ought to love our parents and seek to glorify them. It's expressed in the way that we use our words, the tone of our voice, the gestures that we use, the facial expressions that we use with our parents. We should speak honorably of them when they're not around. We ought to seek to cover their nakedness when they fall. You recall that with Noah. Ham went in and was like, ha, look at that. But his brothers walked backward and covered their father's nakedness. Because this is out of character for him. And he's our father. He is to be honored. We should serve them joyfully in every and all lawful commands. Now, we must remember, and for you young children, little kids, listen closely, and if you're taking notes, write this down. How do you honor your parents? Is this something that you think about? How do you honor your parents? I want you to think about that and not give a Sunday school answer. How do you, filling with your name, so how do you, Noah, Joshua, Chloe, Ava, Jack, Elizabeth, how do you, Leanna, Isaiah, honor your parents? How often do you think and pray on honoring your parents? Whenever you fail to honor your mother and your father, do you know what you're telling God? This is serious. When you fail to honor them, you're saying, I don't care what you say. I will be my own God. I will have my own law. How horrible is that? I know you would never say that in those words. So why would you want to say it? with your actions and your attitudes. Now, parents, listen closely. The way you conduct yourself will either help your children or harm your children. There's no neutrality. There's not a neutral coasting gear that you can get into. You're either helping them or you are harming them. And we recognize, ultimately, they're responsible before the Lord. But you also share in that responsibility, because you're the one that's training them. How often do you consider your conduct, your tone, your facial expressions, the words that you use with your children? Are you honorable in the home? Now, they have to honor you either way, whether you're honorable or not, but love would have you help your children. You want to make sure you're giving them no cause for their flesh to rebel and to express dishonorable conduct against you and ultimately against the Lord. There's much more that could be said here, but we're pressed for time. Fear. Submission. Submission. Honor also involves submission. Let's look at our favorite book, Ephesians 6. Ephesians 6. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment, with a promise. Now, this is interesting, because in Rome, this is countercultural. This is countercultural. Not that children were to obey their parents. But listen to how Cicero described the Roman family core ideals. He said that the highest moral duty was first to one's country, then to one's parents. So in Paul's day, the allegiance was first and foremost to Caesar, then to one's parents. And after all, Caesar is Lord, right? In one sense. But what does Paul include here? Children, obey your parents in the Lord, because there is a new King, King Jesus. And the fact, listen to this, because this is gonna be really helpful. The fact that children are directly addressed is very significant. And I wonder if we've thought about this as we read through our Bibles. It shows that in early church gatherings, children were present. Not like you see in a lot of churches today, where they ship the kids off to some Sunday school class. No. That's not how it was done. That's recent. That's recent. Even 200 years ago, you're not going to find that. 150 years ago, hard-pressed to find that. These children would be old enough to understand, and at the same time, still living at home. so they could be anywhere from a toddler to early 20s. Also, with that, the primary and normative cause for leaving the parents' house in a way that honored Christ, guess what it was? Marriage. Marriage. Genesis 2.24, from before the fall. For this reason, a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be united to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. Now, I'm sure many of you disagree automatically that the reason that one ought to leave their household is for marriage. But I want to ask you, why do you disagree? And as we keep going through this, and it gets worse, ask yourself, why? Or better yet, what clear biblical evidence and argumentation do you have to say that it's wrong and to defend the position that you automatically hold. So the norm, the standard, is that children leave their household to get married. That's the standard. Now, are there exceptions? Yes. But remember, they are exceptions to the rule. We don't take the exceptions and make them the rule. They are exemptions and allowances. They are not the standard. They are not the rule. They must have clear evidence and cogent reasoning. They must not be trivial. And above all, they must not be based on feelings and anecdotes. Well, so-and-so did this, and they turned out. That's pragmatism. Here are the exceptions against this. Let's start with sons. Inheritance. Inheritance. Sometimes the father would give one of the sons, not the oldest, an inheritance to be used for establishing a business and a home for marriage. It'd be provided by parental approval. So think of the prodigal son as a bad example. He received his inheritance, and rather than using it to start a business, because he's not taking over the family business, he went and wasted it. That was for him to establish livelihood, so that he could start a family. Second would be the father's death. The oldest then takes over the family home. The third would be the pursuit of religious training or a special vocation, like the Apostle Paul. Or like young Samuel. Provided, again, there's parental approval. If there's no parental approval, you're not honoring your parents. And the fourth would be military service. And there's some exceptions in there as well. But what about daughters? Let's look at Exodus 21-7. There's two exceptions For daughters. This is one of them. Economic hardship and indentured service. If a man sells his daughter as a female slave, she is not to go free as the male slaves do. And it continues on for several verses in this chapter. I can't afford this. There's too many mouths to feed. So I can sell my children to one of my brothers, and he can work for them for a period of seven years. The second exception is when a woman is taken captive in time of war. And that's it for the daughters. Now, I know our modern satanic feminist world, this seems restrictive. And part of you is probably upset and bothered by this. But that's only because we are worldly, and because we're not growing in the fear of Yahweh as we ought. Think of what feminism has attacked. Feminism has attacked the biblical view of affectionate male authority in the marriage, in the home, in the church, in the civil sphere, And what God has designed, designated, and commanded as good, which is male headship, it's been marketed time and time again as evil. Men and women are not equal. Men and women are not equal. Ontologically, with respect to our being, yes, we are equal. With respect to our value before God, Yes, we are equal. But functionally, in the way God has designed us, we are not. We are not. Feminism has attacked the biblical view of humanity. Neither men nor women were created to have autonomy. Autonomy, auto, self, namas, law. We weren't created to be a law unto ourself. We were created for theonomy, theos, God, namos, law, to be obedient to God's law. We aren't to be independent. Oh, look at the independent man, look at the independent woman. We can change that out and say, look at the sinful man, look at the sinful woman. That's what it is. We were made to be dependent and interdependent. dependent upon God and interdependent upon one another. We aren't to elevate self over community. Feminism has attacked the biblical view of womanhood. The role of the mother has been attacked and diminished in our society. And why? Why? to fight the patriarchy by giving your time to a man that is not your husband, that doesn't love you and doesn't care for you. And now we have victory. More than all this, feminism, which is just really critical theory, Marxist theology, which we already had a heads-up to in Genesis chapter 3 with the curse, your desire will be for your husband, but he shall rule over you. Feminism has infiltrated our thinking, and our morality to the extent that we shrink back from God's law when we see things like this. If we're being honest, there's passages of scripture you read through and you're like, oh, I don't know, I like that. Don't pretend like it's not true. Bring it to the Lord. And when we shrink back from God's law, we take sides with the creature over the creator. Tell me if this sounds familiar. Young woman, don't settle down too quickly. Get a college education. Start a career. Live your life. And then start thinking about marriage. Biblically, how do you support that? I know it feels good. Biblically, how do you support that? Now, all things being equal, sons are to remain in the house until marriage, unless their parents approve of them learning a skill to provide for marriage that they don't already have. This doesn't mean that you're some kid that's 40 years old living in your parents' basement playing video games. And daughters are also to remain in the home until marriage. We have a long way to go if we're going to be in the world but not of the world, because we have been very, very infiltrated and infected by this, and so is the culture that we live in. Children, obey your parents in the Lord. Now, it's important to note this part, too, as we shift a little. Children, your obedience to your parents is not ultimately for your parents. So, children, Joshua, Koieva, Noah, Isaiah, I see you. Good job. Your obedience to your parents is not ultimately for your parents. You do not obey your parents because your parents said to obey. You obey your parents because the Lord Jesus Christ commands you to obey. That's why we obey our parents. Your first allegiance is not to your mom and your dad. Your first allegiance is to the Lord Jesus Christ. Now, your parents should be a picture of that, a signpost of that, and be directing you to Christ. But Christ is King of heaven and earth. Allegiance number one is to the Lord Jesus, and then to your parents. So kids, when you obey your parents, this is cool. Guess what? When you obey your parents, you are being obedient to the Lord Jesus Christ. You are doing the Lord's will when you obey your parents. But when you disobey your parents, you are sinning against the Lord Jesus Christ. Paul adds here, for this is right. When children disobey their parents, It is wrong. It is lawlessness. It is sin. I love how Paul includes in Colossians 3.20, children obey your parents in all things for this is well pleasing to the Lord. It's not just right, it's also pleasing to God. God is pleased when children obey their parents. Now in the Roman family, In the time Paul's writing, the father held absolute power. It's called patria potestas. Absolute power over his whole family for life. For life. He could imprison, scourge, sell, or even kill his own son, and then adopt another to be his son. regardless of his status, the son's status in society. Even a son who was a magistrator, who held a public office, was still under his father's authority. A father had more authority over his son than a master had over his slave. In the Christian family, it's different. The nature of the father's authority shifted when his child married and started a new family. It's not altogether gone, but it shifts. And remember, the goal of parents that are Christians is not the same as the goal of parents that are pagans in Roman culture. If you look again at Ephesians chapter 6, we also see this. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. He's the King. The Lord is King. And in Ephesians, the way the Lord is used is of Jesus Christ. So, do not provoke your children to anger. This speaks of unnecessary provocation, undue harshness, injustice, things that are wrong. Because children can become angry for a whole host of reasons, many of which are sinful. It's not saying you've got to tiptoe around your kids and let them rule. That's not what it's saying. The Father is to ensure that He, The father does not unfairly or unjustly inspire anger. Curbing dangerous behavior, exercising appropriate discipline, this is going to look different depending on the situation. So, a young child running into the street ought to be addressed very differently than a young child who missed a spot cleaning up. One is going to sound very harsh. The other should not, because of the level of danger associated with it, because love is to guide everything you do. A child that is obstinate or rebellious ought to be addressed differently than a child that is confused and needs help. So the severity of the parent's discipline and instruction ought to be related to the seriousness of the sin against God, the danger of the sin to the child, and not in any way whatsoever have to do with the father's pride in appearance. So instead of inciting unnecessary anger, fathers are to bring them up in the discipline, which means child training, and admonition of the Lord, admonish, to put or to place in the mind. You are teaching, you are instructing. The father is the primary educator of the children, and the wife educates the children under the father's authority. So as parents, we need to use biblical wisdom in shepherding our children. especially as it gets to older children still living in the home. Here's an oversimplified, hopefully helpful, general overview. Young children, from the time they're born, should be taught to obey parental commands, to obey the first time, to obey with a joyful attitude, to complete the task commanded. And do not reason with your young children. They don't have that capacity. You are exasperating them. They are to be taught and to learn how to obey. And as you're doing that, you're using appropriate times to teach them how to reason as their mind is developing. So you're already laying the framework down there. They can't think, but they can memorize. help them memorize truth. And then when they come to that point where they can think, you have capital already placed into them, and you can teach them what these verses mean and how they apply. Now, young men and young women that are children living in the home should already be obeying. They've already been taught that the first time they're told. You don't have to tell them a second time. We recognize here and there, every once in a while, we need reminders. As adults, we need reminders. So don't be strictly legalistic about this. We're talking about pattern and character. We're talking about the norm. A joyful attitude, no grumbling, completing their assigned tasks. And moreover, they should also be trained to take the initiative. Train them to take the initiative in designated household tasks. Do not negotiate with your children. Do not negotiate with your children. Use appropriate times to give them a choice so that you can see what they choose. Why? Because you're getting invaluable feedback. When you give them those opportunities, it's a window into their heart. Let them make mistakes. Let them get hurt. And follow up with them. How did that work out for you? You remember we talked about this? You remember how Daddy said this? Okay, what happened? Why did you want to do it? What were you thinking and feeling when you did that? Remember, you're teaching them to think and live in the fear of the Lord. You can't save your children. You can lead them to Christ, but you can't save them. What you're required to do is to train them in the fear of Yahweh. So some other things that are helpful. Love your kids. Show them affection. Play with them. Don't be that person that's always too busy for your kids. When you're in a rush to leave, an extra 15 seconds to make sure you kiss them and hug them isn't going to make a difference. But it will to them. It will to them. Don't shut them down when they're coming and they're trying to talk to you. Get them to open up their heart. Ask them questions about their day. Hold high God's law in your home. Exalt the Lord Jesus Christ, His deity, His life, His death, His resurrection, His lordship, His priesthood, His coming again to rescue His people and establish His kingdom. Magnify the grace of God that saves sinners while we're still rebels, and do not grieve the Spirit of God. Be filled with Him. Walk in His law. Love His standard. Repent and seek forgiveness when you sin, especially when you sin against your wife or you sin against your children. Repent and seek forgiveness. If the whole family was present when you sinned against your wife, make sure the whole family is present when you repent and seek forgiveness from your wife. Love His standard. Teach your children the same, not just by word, but also by example. So, question now, throw it back on you. How do you view submission? How do you view submission? Is it your delight? When you think of submission and obedience, children, parents, and everybody in between, over and under, how do you view submission? Men, do you delight to obey the Lord Jesus Christ. Women, do you delight to submit to your husbands? Children, do you delight to obey your parents? Do you see submission and obedience as good and as glorious? If you don't, then I wonder what you think of Christ. We read it today in Hebrews 10, and it's quoting Psalm 40. I desire to do your will. I desire to do your will, oh my God. Your law is within my inner being. A true Christian delights in God's sovereign governance because he knows his Father's power, his goodness, his love. He knows that infinite wisdom has ordained this situation, whatever it may be, at whatever time and whatever place. He knows that especially in the midst of human injustice, there's no sweeter fellowship with Christ than to bring our wounds and our injuries to him with a clear conscience. Are you abiding in Christ's love by following His example, His commands of obedience and submission? That's what 1 Peter 2 tells us. It's an example for us. Are you striving to keep a clear conscience before the Lord? Are you going, well, I can ask for forgiveness later. There's going to be one time you do that, that's one time too many. And you can't come back from that. Is your primary allegiance to Christ or to yourself? Is your chief goal to be vindicated before men or to please and to glorify your loving Savior? You have to answer these. Fear, submission, gratitude. Gratitude. Just as the Sabbath command contains the principle of gratitude, as we saw a couple weeks ago, it's a thankful giving back to God. And as we see not only from the term honor, but also from the link between fearing one's parents and keeping the Sabbath in Leviticus 19.3, children ought to be thankful and give back to their parents with gratitude. This is all throughout scripture. God chastises Israel severely for failing in this area. Note down Malachi 1.6. A son honors his father and a slave his master. Then if I am a father, where is my honor? And if I am a master, where is the fear of me? Says Yahweh of hosts to you, O priests who despise my name. But you say, how have we despised your name? This is coming right after God speaks of his love to Israel and they go, how have you loved us? I don't see how you've loved us. So it's fascinating to me to see that when God brings about a seemingly from the outside severe, but completely gracious discipline against Israel, he could have just let them go. Both Israel and those watching begin to question God's love for Israel. Instead of questioning Israel's love for God, this happens when parents must discipline a stubborn, rebellious, and ungrateful child. If you're a parent, you've experienced this to varying degrees. The child fights back, forgetting the parent's love, taking everything for granted. And then witnesses or other people that the child takes in jump to take sides with the rebellious child. The more outraged I am, the more vindicated I am. That's what my culture says. And we see this in law enforcement increasingly today. When a man is resisting arrest, failing to comply, and he's screaming for help while he's fighting the police, and people take the side of the criminal, There's a huge difference, though. The policeman's heart is not wounded as the parent's heart is. The policeman is just doing his job. The parent has fed, nurtured, and provided for his child as God did for Israel, but the parent, imperfectly, The parent loves and has loved his child, and the child does not remember the love of the parent. Thankfulness and gratitude to God is a glorious work. It's a sacred duty for every single one of us that have tasted God's mercy. To cultivate a soul rich in gratitude, we must meditate deeply on God's abundant grace. Because we see in his hand every blessing. And we go, this is where true contentment is. This is where true contentment is. As one has said, the greatest saint is not marked by his fasting or praying, but by his overflowing heart of thanksgiving. Ever confessing each gift as a sign of God's boundless love. Are you a thankful person? The culture we live in loves to complain and we're just grumbling. It's not thankfulness. Out of the 86,400 seconds, 86,400 seconds that God gives to you every day of your life, how many of those seconds do you use to thank him? You have over 50,000 opportunities to thank God. every day. One pastor puts it this way, memory keeps gratitude fresh, and gratitude keeps faith fruitful. And in this well-known passage, 1 Timothy 5.8, if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. One of the ways that we show gratitude to our parents is by returning the loving care that they gave to us when we were weak and unable to care for ourselves. Think about God's love, God's care. He cares even for sparrows. What do they give to Him? We as people don't even give anything to Him, we can't add anything to Him. Let alone birds, and yet He cares for them. Should we not care for our own family? Jesus spoke to this with the Pharisees. Look with me at Matthew 15. Matthew 15. Some of the Pharisees and scribes came to Jesus from Jerusalem. Why do your disciples break the tradition of the elders? For they do not wash their hands when they eat bread. And Jesus answers them and says, why do you yourselves transgress the commandment of God for the sake of your tradition? The Pharisees exalted their culture over scripture. We don't do that. For God said, honor your father and mother, and he who speaks evil of father or mother is to be put to death. Out of all the crimes in the Old Testament that merit the death penalty, isn't it fascinating that this is the one that Jesus upholds to show its continuing force and weight? Proverbs 28, 24, he who robs father or his mother and says, it's not a transgression, is the companion of a man who destroys. 1926, he who assaults his father and causes his mother to flee is a son who brings shame and humiliation. Exodus 21, 15, he who strikes his father or his mother shall surely be put to death. Let's look at Deuteronomy 21, 18. Deuteronomy 21, 18. If any man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey his father or his mother, and when they discipline him, he will not even listen to them. Then his father and mother shall seize him and bring him out to the elders of his city at the gateway of his hometown. Then they shall say to the elders of his city, this son of ours is a stubborn and rebellious. He will not listen to our voice. He's a glutton and a drunkard." That's one example of the sins, but it shows you we're not talking about five-year-olds and six-year-olds here. We're talking about the young men that still live at home that ought to be pursuing marriage. Then all the men of the city shall stone him, and he will die. So you shall purge the evil from your midst, and all Israel will hear of it and fear." The family is the building block of society. Did you know that the state is an overflow of the family? That the church is called what? A family. That the church is God's family. That a pastor ought to be able to manage his own household well, otherwise if he can't, how will he care for the church, which is God's family? The family is God's means, both of the cultural mandate and the redemptive mandate. What about Jesus' example? We'll have to skip Scripture's exposition of the fifth commandment. Let's just go to Jesus' example. Let's look at Luke 2, Luke chapter 2. And let's start in verse 41, and we'll cruise through this. This is when his parents go to Jerusalem for the Passover. In verse 42, it says Jesus is 12 years old. And as they were returning, Jesus stays behind in Jerusalem. Verse 43, his parents didn't know. They went a day's journey away, verse 44. They didn't find him, verse 45. After three days, they found him in the temple, verse 46, sitting in the midst of teachers, both listening to them and asking questions. And all who heard him were astounded at his understanding and his answers. When they saw him, they were astonished, and his mother said to him, Child, why have you treated us this way? Behold, your father and I have been anxiously searching for you. Now, we don't normally read it like that, because we normally read everything, Child, why have you treated us this way? You rebellious and deceitful soul. Think about this. Did Jesus sin? Or did his parents? And then they come, and they take it out on who? They'd take it out on Jesus. You ever been mistreated by your parents? Look at the friend that you have in the Lord Jesus Christ. He knows intimately. He's experienced it. And he said to him, why is it that you were searching for me? Did you not know I had to be in my father's house? But they did not understand the statement which he had spoken to them. And he went down with them and came to Nazareth, and he continued in subjection to them. And his mother was treasuring all these things in her heart. And Jesus was advancing in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and men. Christ perfectly obeyed the fifth commandment, so that we who have broken it might be healed. forgiven and counted righteous in Christ by faith. Look at Matthew 12. Matthew 12, verse 46. While he was still speaking to the crowds, behold, his mother and brothers were standing outside speaking to him. Someone said to him, behold, your mother and your brothers are standing outside seeking to speak with you. Now, seeing the value of family, and especially that Jesus is the oldest, and his stepfather's dead, and he's in charge, this is a big deal. But Jesus answered the one who was telling him and said, who is my mother and who are my brothers? And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, behold, my mother and my brothers, for whoever does the will of my father who is in heaven, he is my brother and sister and mother. In a culture that prized family as central to life, Jesus' dismissal of not just his family, but his own mother, calls a world of attention to his next words, the one who does the will of my father. But Jesus doesn't cast his mother out. He's not being coarse. Look at John 19. John 19. Verse 25. Christ is on the cross. But standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother and his mother's sister, Mary, the wife of Clopas and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus then saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, woman, behold your son. Then he said to the disciple, behold your mother. From that hour, the disciple took her into his home. As the oldest son, he's caring for his mother's well-being because he knows that responsibility falls to him. Not just her soul, but her temporary life. He's caring for her soul on the cross about to take the wrath of God. And he's caring for her temporary life. And how temporary? He knows he's coming back on the third day. And still, still he cares. See here the tender heart of Christ, the tenderest heart, who in the midst of his sufferings remembers and sees the needs of his mother. He makes provision for her, a small thing perhaps, yet he leaves us an example of love to our earthly relations even unto the end. that while on the cross, engaged in the greatest act of love for the world, he does not forget the specific love he bears to his mother. Here's the Savior who does not overlook the smallest duty. What do you want from me? I'm dying for your sins up on the cross. No. His love flows like an ocean, embracing the world, while at the same time caring for one heart. In commending his mother to John, he shows that his love is not diminished by pain, but only increases just as gold is refined by fire. Here is a lesson for us in times of trouble. Let our sufferings drive us or let not our suffering, excuse me, drive us from our duties, but rather inspire us to fulfill them. Because we see our Savior, the Lord Jesus, even on the cross, showed that love is to be executed in action, not abandoned in times of distress. And if you have not yet come and submitted your life to this Savior, what a precious and tender heart He has. How do we not see this? We see this perfect balance. He's not legalistic, nor is he casting off the smallest law. Love is motivating everything that he does. Love motivates even my ability to give you this command now. Repent and believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved. Christians, see the heart of your Savior. No matter what situation you're in, He's never too busy for you. He sees you. He hears you. You have 86,400 seconds in every day. Use them and pursue your Savior's heart. Let's pray. Father, thank you, not just for your beautiful and magnificent plan of redemption, not just for your word and your law that is good, not just for the regeneration that you give us and the forgiveness of sins and the imputation of righteousness, but that you unite us to Christ. You give us a savior who is a brother, a king, a prophet, a judge, a priest, who still intercedes for us, who's been beset with weakness, who sympathizes with our pains and our struggles, who is ready, willing to help us in every moment of every day. Let us take hold of Christ and let our hearts be shaped and fashioned after His. Perfect love, perfect obedience, perfect wisdom, perfect tenderness. Let us have Christ and let us be like Christ for your glory. Amen.