Oh, wow. That's about as emotional as I've ever seen her get. I thought she was going to shout there for a minute. I thought, go at it. Amen. Been all right. I could have stood it. I tell you, it's been so good tonight, I hate to preach on this subject matter. I thought maybe I needed to change my message or something. Or either the Lord was just preparing you ladies so that nobody would be mad at me when I left. Oh, my. But I tell you, it sure has been good today. It's good to see Jerry Wayne and Michelle and Jaden back there. Thank you for visiting with us tonight. And I think I saw Darius Collins back there and his family. I don't think I ever met your family, Darius. Hope you get to do that tonight. And I appreciate him and a number of other folk that are our guests tonight. Thank you for being here. Good crowd tonight. Boy, my heart's been blessed. And, you know, I wish that husbands were always, you know, it'd be a whole lot easier to be a wife if husbands were what they ought to be. I know that. And my wife would have a little bit easier time if I was a little better to deal with. You know, I understand that. And, you know, it reminded me of the newly wedded bride who wanted to please her cantankerous husband, and she wanted to serve him breakfast in bed. So the first morning she took him, she got up early and fixed breakfast, you know, bacon and sausage, and fried two eggs, and I mean, boy, they were just perfect. And Sonny sighed up, took him up there, he lifted, and there he was just smiling, put the tray down on the bed, and he lifted the cover, and he looked at her and said, what are you doing? He said, you fried these eggs, and I wanted scrambled eggs. Well, you know, she's a little bit upset, but she put the lid back on, went back downstairs, you know, and thought, well, I'll do better tomorrow. So she got up the next morning real early, and she scrambled two fluffy eggs and bacon sausage, took it up there, and put it down beside his bed. He lifted the cover, and he said, he said, you scrambled them, and I wanted them fried today. And so she's a little broken, and so she had a little tear, but it's okay, she's gonna be all right. And she had an idea, not to be deterred, rose early the next morning, And so she said, I know what I'll do. She said, I'll fry one egg and scramble the other one. And so she fried one egg, scrambled the other, took it up there, put the tray down beside of her husband, and he lifted the cover, and with a look of dismay in his eyes, he said, you scrambled the wrong one. And so, anyway, she couldn't win for losing, could she? One of my favorite ones, a ladies' seminar, sort of like an LPA, a ladies' prayer advance, except this was a marriage-type seminar. And one speaker there, a ladies' speaker, was speaking to that group of ladies and said, how many of you want to mother your husband? And one lady in the way, back and back, lifted her hand in sort of surprise. She said, ma'am, she said, you want to mother your husband? And she said, mother, I thought you said smother my husband. And so, you know, sometimes it's just tough being a wife. I understand that. But, you know, I think it's also a glorious thing. And I'm grateful. The Bible says, he that findeth a wife findeth a good thing and obtaineth favor of the Lord. I'm really proud of our men. I said, now, men, get your wife back here tonight. She's on, even she's on life support. More men got their wives here tonight than wives got their husband here last week. I've noticed that. So get the CD and play it on vacation, you know. Say, honey, let's listen to the preacher while we're going on vacation, you know. And you can get that for him and all. But don't you look in your Bibles tonight, Genesis chapter number 2, if you would please. Genesis chapter number 2. And I want to talk to you about treasuring your husband. Genesis chapter number 2 and verse number 18. Many modern versions of the Bible have changed this verse. They use a different word for the wife. They use the word helpmate as if they want to correct the Lord in that area. But I believe the Lord knew what He was doing. Amen. And He uses a different word. He talks about a helpmate. And the reason is because God gave us more than a mate. He gave us someone that was a suitable companion for us as men. Notice what the Bible says, "'And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone.'" Now you need to understand the context of the passage. Up until this point, God has pronounced His creation good, good, good, and very good. Then you come to chapter 2 and verse number 18 and suddenly he says it's not good. Now that doesn't mean that what God had done was bad or it wasn't what it up to be or wasn't up to par. What he basically was saying is that creation is incomplete. He's now made the man. He's brought the animals to Adam to see what he would call them. He's fostered in him a desire for someone to meet his needs, a companion for himself. And so God said it's not good for man to be alone. Do you realize that God meets all of our needs? Now I understand that He's all we need. But yet it's interesting that God meets our needs in different ways. There are some needs that God meets directly Himself. There are other needs that God meets indirectly through other people. And Adam had needs that God would meet through a woman that He would make him, called Eve, a helpmate, and God would institute marriage and bring to Adam, into Adam's life, the most perfect thing in all the world for him, And that was a wife, a woman, who would be a helpmate for him. And he says, it's not good that the man should be alone. I will make him a helpmate for him. A companion who is fit, suitable, comparable for men. Someone to share life with. someone like men, but yet different from men, that he might enjoy life and that needs might be met. And God created marriage to be one of the most gratifying and satisfying and enjoyable of human experiences. Now we know that sin has messed all that up. And we know that marriage isn't everything that God intended it to be because they're two imperfect people. And you cannot have two imperfect people and have a perfect home. But I tell you what, I believe you can have a good home, and I believe you can have a godly home, and I believe you can have a gratifying home in marriage. And I believe that's what God desires for every one of us. Notice if you would, verse 21, And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept, and he took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh instead thereof. And the rib which the Lord God had taken from man made he a woman and brought her unto the man. Hebrew word for man is ish, Hebrew word for woman is ishah. The word for man has the idea of burly, has the idea of someone who's broad shoulders, man who's able to bear up. God created the man to bear the load. The word woman has the idea of someone that's soft, a nester, and it literally means to be soft. And you know, God made a woman different from that of a man. And it's more than just looks. And I praise the God for the look different. Amen? The looks that are different. But, I mean, she's different in every way so that she can complement and complete you. I want to share with you what I believe is very important because the woman was taken from man for man. Eve was God's answer to Adam's need and just as a husband has a ministry to his wife, so a wife has a God-given role, a ministry to her husband. And I want to share with you five needs that every man has that his wife can supply for him. And I want to share that with you tonight. I want to talk to you about treasure and your husband. Let's pray. Father, we love you. Help this preacher. And Lord, meet our needs and challenge our hearts tonight. Let us be sensitive to you. And Father, we're going to thank you for it. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen. Five things that I believe every husband needs from his wife. First of all, we're going to look at various Scriptures tonight, and I'm going to move as quickly as possible. Number one, I want you to jot this down. A husband needs his wife's response. A husband needs his wife's response. Would you look with me tonight in Ephesians chapter number 5 and verse number 22. Ephesians chapter number 5 and verse 22. And as you're turning there, I'm going to give you some clarity about what I'm talking about. When you say, preacher, my husband needs my response, what do you mean by that? He needs your response to his leadership. You see, God built the man to lead. That was God's intention. Now, can I tell you that God did not make a man superior to a woman. He did not do that. Listen, you ladies are infinitely superior at being a woman. than what we would be, okay? So you need to understand that God made you different than He might make us one. And so it's not a matter of superiority-inferiority, it's a matter of function in the home. And God said that in order for the home to function correctly, I have placed a divine order and I have invested in the man the responsibility to lead, but yet, lady, yet, wife, I want to impress upon you, God says, that it's your responsibility in that home and in that relationship to respond to your husband's leadership. Look, if you would, verse number 22 of Ephesians 5. The Bible says, wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord. Now, it's interesting when he talks about submission in the verse before that, he talks about a mutual submission. submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. And so there's a mutual submission one to another, but yet God said, for the ultimate function of the home, in order so that it will not be chaotic and so that it will function the way I intended it, I'm going to invest in that man leadership and men you all to lead. Amen. We talked about that last week, and you need to set the lead in your home, and you need to take the lead in your home in matters that are important, and lead your home spiritually, and to be the man in that relationship. But ladies, God said, I want you to submit, I want you to respond, I want you to follow your husband's leadership. Now let me say this, submission is not subjugation. I don't believe this has anything to do with suppressing women's rights and elevating men over women. Can I tell you, Christianity has done more to liberate women than any other entity on the face of the earth. You say, Preacher, how do you know that? I tell you what, you just go to Afghanistan tonight and talk about women's rights. You go to China tonight and talk about women's rights. You go to Central and South America and you'll be a wife with several mistresses and you'll understand that there's not a whole lot you can do about it. You want your family, you just live with it. You go to Africa tonight, it's not much different. We find that it's in Christian lands that women have found the greatest sense of freedom and the ability to function as God created them to function. Notice that God limits this submission to one's own husband. Now, that word, on, is the word idios, it doesn't mean that your husband's an idiot, okay? It has the idea of being peculiar to yourself. That means that he is peculiar to you and you're to submit to one's own particular husband. The wife is not to submit to every man, just her man. Do you realize the authority as a pastor only goes as far as the ministry of this church? People follow the pastoral leadership as it relates to the church. What you do in your home is your business. Now, can I tell you, it ought to be according to the Bible. Amen? But the wife is to submit to the husband's leadership, the family submits to the pastor's leadership only as it relates to ministry of the local church. And so we understand that in that home, God is saying that you're to submit to your man and you're to respond to his leadership and submission is one equal willingly placing themselves under another equal that Jesus might be glorified. You say, preacher, what do you mean by all this? What I mean is work with him rather than against him. be a partner rather than a competer. A wife that fails to respond to her husband's leadership is actually failing to respond to the Lord. Notice, if you would, verse 22. The Bible says, Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord. You say, Preacher, but you just don't understand. If I follow my husband's leadership, he's going to sink our family. We'll have absolutely nothing. Our finances will be chaos. Preacher, you don't understand. I have to lead. No, you don't. You can learn to follow. I can get a whole lot of amens right there, but I'm right in the pages of God's Word. You see, you do it as unto the Lord. You follow that husband as he follows God. Now, listen, that does not mean, okay, that you have to follow him into sin. That does not mean that you have to follow him into disobedience to God. It doesn't mean that at all. But what it does mean is you need to follow your husband's leadership. Now, you know what? I don't think there's a thing wrong if a husband wreck it. And by the way, fellas, God says be a good manager. Amen? And if you recognize you have a weakness in financial areas and you can't keep a checkbook, give it to your wife. That way you'll have something when you retire. Amen? That's called mutual submission. It's recognizing that God offsets the needs in our lives that our wives complete us. And there are weaknesses in my life as a man that my wife comes alongside of and she strengthens me in. And that's why we're a partnership. And we move our family forward. But I make the final decision in our home. It takes a lot of pressure off my wife. It really does. Because now she doesn't have to bear the weight of that. I bear the weight of that. And men, you should bear the weight of that. And ladies, can I tell you that if you're seeking to dominate your husband and you're seeking to dominate your home, your house is out of order according to the way God dictates it. And that we need to follow God's direction. And notice if you would, verse 24, Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. In everything. And God said you need to follow the lead of that man in your life. Now listen, I doesn't mean if he goes to the bar and says, now I want you to come down here and drink a beer with me that you have to do that. No, there comes a point where God's law and God's authority supersedes that of a husband or anybody else. Amen? And we ought to obey God rather than men. But yet at the same time, there needs to be a response to his leadership. But men, you need to take the lead. You need to love your wife in a sense that where this thing of submission will come easy for her because she can trust you, because you take her interests and her concerns and her cares and her heart in mind. And she realizes that your leadership, although it's not a perfect leadership, has her best interests in mind. You see, too often the reason some wives rebel against their husband's leadership is because you have a selfish leadership rather than a selfless leadership. And we seek to need to be selfless in this matter of leading. So a wife needs to respond to her husband's leadership. And men, you need to step to the plate, and I need to step to the plate. And we need to arise to the occasion. And we need to be spiritual leaders in our home. And we need to be the ones leading in prayer. And we need to be the ones leading in Bible study. And we need to be the ones leading our family in church. And we need to be the ones who, like Joshua said, as for me in my house, we will serve the Lord. Too often women are having to take the lead in spiritual matters and do things God never intended them to do because husbands are passive and unwilling to be leaders. And I'm going to tell you something, God said it's time for us to be what God wants us to be. I'm going to tell you something, our nation is dying for a lack of masculine leadership. It is. It's dying for a lack of masculine leadership. Now I know if a husband would be what he ought to be, it would make it a lot easier for that wife to be what she ought to be. But you know what? That's not always going to be the case. And I want you to hold your place in Ephesians because we're going to come back here. But I want you to look, if you would, in 1 Peter chapter number 3 because the Lord already anticipated that objection. And can I be honest with you tonight? It's not a matter of what I say. And it's not a matter of what we think. It's a matter of what God says. And it's not really an issue as it relates to me. It's an issue as it relates to the Lord. This is what God said. And just as I said last week that we as husbands don't naturally recognize our role and responsibility. We learned that from the Lord. So ladies, this is your heavenly Father's direction to you as a godly wife. Notice chapter 3 and verse 9. By the way, do you know it was Eve that got out of order in the garden and she was being the head and Adam was being the follower and it plunged the human race into sin? I'm not blaming the lady. Adam ate with his eyes wide open. He was in the transgression. He ate of it, but yet guess what? He followed his wife's lead rather than his wife following his lead. And God said that one of the effects of that sin would be that the desire of the wife would be to her husband that she would seek to rule over him. And that's been Satan's ploy all the time, if he can create chaos in the home and create a marital breakdown in the home. And watch this, I can tell the difference between a mama-disciplined child and a daddy-disciplined child. There's a definite difference. Well, I let the wife do all of that. Well, can I tell you, you're putting her at an unfair disadvantage. Dad, you need to take the lead. You need to take the responsibility. You say, Preacher, I thought this was for my wife today. You see, it only works, men, when we're what we ought to be. And it gives opportunity for that wife to rise and be the godly woman that God wants her to be. But can I say something, ladies? If your husband isn't what he ought to be, that does not relieve you of your responsibility of being the godly wife that God wants you to be. It doesn't negate anything. Look at 1 Peter 3, verse 1. Likewise, you wives, be in subjection to your own husbands, that if any obey not the word. That means he's a disobedient husband, whether he's unsaved, or whether he's disobedient to the Lord, or whether he's not being what he ought to be spiritually. Maybe he's a bear to live with. God said, your own husbands, that if they obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives. That word conversation doesn't mean you chewing him in submission. That word conversation means lifestyle. While they behold your chaste conversation, coupled with fear, whose adorning, let it not be that outward adorning of the plaiting of the hair and the wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel, but let it be the hidden man, that hidden woman of the heart, and that which is corrupt, not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God, great price. And notice God said there comes a point when beauty becomes corruptible. That means it fades. And you don't have the beauty of youth anymore, but I'm going to tell you that woman that you develop in your heart, that never fades. And God said, while we don't neglect the other, the emphasis is that we develop this woman inside of us to be the woman, God's kind of woman, a woman after God's own heart. By the way, ladies, if you don't strive to be a woman after God's own heart, pray tell me why your teen daughter would want to be. The Bible says, as a mother is, so is her daughter. What pressure, what responsibility is placed upon us to walk in the way of righteousness? God said He did it that He might have a godly seed. And so a husband needs his wife's response. Number two, let me share with you tonight, a husband needs his wife's respect. Look, if you would, in Ephesians chapter 5 in verse 33, the Bible says, nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself. I mean, if we love our wives like ourselves, if we would love our wives the way we love ourselves, it would be a whole lot easier for them to follow our leadership. And the wives see that she reverence her husband. That word reverence means to give honor or respect. Too often, wives down at the job or in the office or maybe when they get together and have a little ladies time together, you know, maybe at their local restaurant or wherever, they gang up and have a husband bashing. Well, that ain't nothing. Y'all ought to try my husband." And they started talking about what he does, you know. Y'all don't hear about mine. And suddenly they're bashing husbands. Boy, they used to do that with my wife's office, and I was so grateful that I knew that while she was there that she was the oddball out because as they were bashing their husbands, she was newly married. Of course, she hadn't got to know me a whole lot yet. But she said, oh, I got a wonderful husband. I hope after 22 years she can still say that. But you know what? One of the worst things we can do is bash our husband. Instead of bashing your husband, why don't you brag on your husband? You say, but preacher, you just don't know all of his faults. Can I tell you, there's a few things that evidently drew you to him or you wouldn't have married him. Maybe you need to go remind yourself of what those things are and make you a list of all those things that you love about him and focus on them rather than that book of faults that you have. Does that make sense? Instead of finding the negative, look for the positive. Focus on the good rather than the faults. The faults. Turn, if you would, back to 1 Peter 3, verse 6. I want to show you something that I believe is very important because you're going to find that Sarah was not always the kind of woman that she should have been. Abraham's wife. I thought this was interesting as I was studying for this message. And men need respect. And there are things that while, listen, we're imperfect and I have faults and there's things about my life I'm sure that my wife cannot respect. I pray there's things in my life she can respect. And I want to strive to be the kind of man that is respectable. Amen? But ladies, your husband needs your respect. Notice, if you would, example of Sarah in verse number 6 of 1 Peter chapter 3. Even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord. Now that doesn't mean she bowed before him as if he was a god. That's not what that means at all. You know, one time Sarah's name was Sarai. Sarai, before God changed her name. You know what Sarai means? It means contentious. contentious. She had to learn some lessons the hard way. You remember the little Hagar incident? That was Sarah's idea, not Abraham's. She said, well, maybe God wants you to go into my maid Hagar and she'll have a child for me and I'll sort of adopt it as my own and this will be the promised heir. And then you remember what happens. Abraham goes into Hagar as Sarah's maid and takes her as a wife, so to speak, a concubine. By the way, God never recognized that as a wife. God always referred to her as Sarah's maid. They were acting outside the will of God. And he went into her, and she bare a son called Ishmael. She got pregnant, bare a son called Ishmael. And suddenly she began to look on Sarah in a different light, thinking, Hey, I'm giving Abraham something, Sarah, you can't. And Sarah comes up, she's mad about it, and says, Abraham, my wrong be upon you. Look what you did. She's a contentious lady, cantankerous. But you know what? She learned some lessons and God changed her name to Sarah Princess. And you know, sometimes you have to learn some things the hard way. The Proverbs 21, 19 says, it's better to dwell in the wilderness than with a contentious and an angry woman. Ladies, can I tell you, I don't believe it pleases the Lord when we're continually contentious, and always stirring up a fight, and always ready when He comes home to pounce on Him. Can I tell you, God wants you to be that hidden woman of the heart, the meek and the quiet spirit, the right kind of spirit. She called Abraham a Lord in the term of respect and honor. And I don't believe that when your husband comes home you need to say, hey Lord, I don't believe you have to do that. I don't believe that's what it means at all. You say, Preacher, listen, I've went so far, but I'm drawing the line. Listen, let me just be honest with you. What she was doing was she was showing respect to Abraham as the head of the family. And I believe there's a sense in which you show the respect for that husband, and you respect him in front of your children. And the reason I'm not saying more about the negative aspect of that, because I'm going to come back to it in a different point. But too often, we find that wives are bashing husbands in front of their children, in front of their friends, in front of people at church, and they're talking about how bad and sorry their husband is, and suddenly, It deflates him, it distances him, it creates a coldness within the relationship. And God said that you need to respect your husband. Just as your husband needs to love you unconditionally, and genuinely, and sacrificially, and selflessly, you need to respect him and honor him as the man in your life that I've placed there. Let me give you a third thing that a husband needs from his wife, and that's encouragement. A husband needs response, the response to his leadership. A husband needs respect. Thirdly, ladies, a husband needs his wife's encouragement. Thank God for the encouragement of my wife. I'm going to tell you, I've been in the ministry for 20 years and you say, preacher, it's all been a bed of roses, hasn't it? Yeah, with thorns. Listen, I wouldn't want to be anything other than what God's called me to be, and that's a preacher. There's nowhere I'd rather be than pastoring Calvary Baptist Church. This is God's perfect will for my life. I'm exactly where God has placed me and where He wants me. And I have absolutely no doubt about that in my mind. But that does not mean that I never get discouraged or I never get down or I never go through difficult times or that I never get depressed in my spirit. And thank God for a wife who comes alongside of me and she doesn't kick me when I'm down and she doesn't say, hey, why don't you get up from... No, she comes alongside of me and she tenderly nurtures me and loves me and encourages me and say, honey, it's alright. it's gonna be okay we're gonna make it you know I know this for a fact and and and and I trust that that that I'm sure that not everybody loves me all the time and I understand that and I'm okay with that I hope most of you like me most of the time but you know something I do understand I know this that if everybody turned against me, my wife wouldn't. She's there for better, for worse, richer, poorer, sickness, health. I know that if today, tomorrow, I was in a car accident and I was a paraplegic and I'd never walk again, my wife would be right there by my side. I have no doubt she'd take care of me. I have no doubt. If I could never meet another need she has, she would meet my needs. I know that. I don't worry about it. I don't doubt it in my mind. I don't have to worry about being a vegetable in a nursing home and my wife divorcing me. I don't have to worry about that. You say, preacher, why? Because she's demonstrated in 22 years of commitment and nurture. And I'm not trying to build her up. She's not a perfect wife just like I'm not a perfect husband. And we have our moments just like everybody else. I'd be lying if I didn't say that. But the commitment level. In my heart, my heart. You know, the Bible says of the virtuous one, Proverbs 31 in Ladies, can I tell you that the heart of her husband safely trusteth in her. And you need to live in such a way that the heart of your husband safely trusts in you. And men, our wives, the heart of our wives ought to safely trust in us. They'll never have to wonder who we're talking to, where we're at, what's on our cell phone or on our computer. If you've got something to hide, you've got a problem. If your computer is so passworded and padlocked that the FBI couldn't get into it, you've got a problem, you've got something to hide, and you need to get right with God more than likely. You say, Preacher, I think you're stepping out on a limb. I think I'm preaching right where it needs to be. Because too often, if we're not careful, we get in things we don't need to be in. Sin is always a click away. The Bible says, Proverbs 12, 25, Heaven is in the heart of a man, make it stoop, but a good word maketh it glad. Thank God for the good words of wives. Proverbs 15, 23, a word spoken in due season. How good is it? There are some times that men fail. You know, there's times that we launch out into things, and boy, we have such zest and gusto, and we think, boy, this is going to be successful, and maybe it's starting a business, maybe it's starting a venture, maybe it's in a different area, and then it winds up in failure, and it crashes, and it burns, and suddenly there's a wife saying, see, I told you not to do that mess. Rather than come along and say, I'm saying, honey, I know it didn't work, but you know what? Hey, it's okay. We're going to make it. We're going to make it. That's what a husband needs. He needs encouragement. Because he's going to fail. I promise you that. He's going to fail. And he needs your encouragement. He needs you to come alongside him and say, honey, it's going to be okay. We're going to make it. I'm with you for better, for worse, whatever. I'm here. And boy, I'm going to tell you something. I know with my wife, with the encouragement of my wife, listen, I can tackle anything. Because I know she's there. Some wives have a black belt in verbal karate. Most wives have a little more eloquent speech than their husbands, and they can chew them up and spit them out. Can I tell you Ephesians 4.29 of the Bible says, Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which ministers. Let me just read it. I had it quoted in my mind. Ephesians 4, let me just read the verse 29. Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace in the hearers. God said build, don't break. God said lift up, don't tear down. Let me just tell you, our wives and men, they need that same encouragement. They need that. They need us to love them. They brought children into the world for you. They've raised them up, they've washed, cooked, cleaned, worked. They need us to come alongside them and love them and assure them and encourage them and be there for them. They need that. Number four, not only does a husband need his wife's response, and a husband need his wife's respect, and a husband need his wife's encouragement. Fourthly, a husband needs his wife's attention. Look at 1 Peter chapter 3 and verse number 5. The Bible says in verse 5, for after this man are in old time, the holy women... God's talking about a holy woman right here. He's talking about a woman of God. Also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection to their own husbands, even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, whose daughters you are as long as you do well, and are not afraid with any amazement or astonishment." God said, don't be afraid of this thing. This is My way, and this is the way I have designed it. And listen, when we do things God's way, it works right. Amen? It does. Now, let me tell you what that word obeyed means, because you're saying, oh boy, here it comes. You know, he's the dictator and I'm the subject. No, that's not what that word obeyed means. It's not like he's the daddy and you're the child. That word obeyed means to pay close attention to something or someone. It's the idea of attending the needs of another. Sarah attended the needs of Abraham. You know, so often we preach against husbands neglecting and failing to spend time with their wives. But ladies, let me encourage you not to be guilty of the same. Don't take your husband for granted. Listen, if you've got a husband that loves God and seeks to live right and do right, you need to thank God for him. Amen? He could be out there running in a world, could be out there in the cesspools of iniquity. He could be tearing your family inside out. But hey, He's sitting in here tonight beside you, and you ought to thank God for it, and you ought to reach over, and you ought to just tell Him, say, Honey, I love you, and I'm glad we're in church together. Take time to be with Him. Make time. If you're not careful, children in classes and this and that will clamor for your time and distract you and not have time for the husband, and he can become resentful. I'm going to talk more about that in a little bit. Give him your attention. Make every effort to spend quality time together. The only time some wives spend with their husbands is the time they need to gripe, complain, or criticize. Pay attention to his needs. Pay attention to his accomplishments, those things. Listen, I've said this before, I'm going to say it again. If he takes out the trash like a man, build him up for it, okay? He needs that. Listen, he does something good. Recognize his accomplishments. Encourage his failures, but recognize his accomplishments. And then number three, pay attention to your appearance. Notice, if you would, verse 3, who's adorning, let it not be that outward adorning of the plating of the hair and wearing of gold or putting on apparel. Now, I know some that take this verse and they take it to an extreme and they say that women ought not braid their hair and shouldn't wear jewelry and makeup and all of that. Well, if that's what that verse means, she shouldn't wear any clothes either. That's what it says. Who's adorning, let it not be that outward adorning of the plating of the hair and wearing of gold or putting on of apparel. I don't believe that's what God intended. Amen? I believe God's saying, listen, don't go to the extravagance. It's not implying that a woman should not look attractive for her husband because I can't stress that enough. It's important to do so. Men are out in the world and many times maybe you're at home and listen, I'm grateful for women that are in the home and keepers of the home and take care of those things. Listen, I recognize not everybody can do that, but you film that role or whatever. Let me just say this to you. Too often, husbands are around women that are in the office, they're dressed to kill, and they smell good, and they come home rather than to the total woman, she's the totaled woman. And it's five o'clock in the evening and they haven't got out of the pajamas yet. Ladies, if you want him to be noticeable, and when she wants to be noticeable, men, you better notice. Amen? Pay attention to your wife. But ladies, pay attention to your husband. Be considerate of him, his needs, his desires. Make him feel important in your life. And then let me give you the last thing tonight and I'm done. A husband needs his wife's affection. A husband needs his wife's affection. Would you look at Titus chapter 2, please? Folks, this may be some of the most important messages that I preach to our church. You say, preacher, you haven't pulled any punches through this. You know what? If it doesn't hurt us, it doesn't help us. Listen, I've beat me up for three weeks. It's her turn. I'm inspecting her notes. I'm the head of the house. I'm inspecting her notes. We get out of here tonight. If I'm in the emergency room again, you know what happened. I'm blaming this stuff on a blood clot. I've been preaching on marriage for six weeks. Titus chapter 2 verse 4. Can we pick up at verse 3? Here Paul is giving order in the church and he said that the aged women, that doesn't mean a woman that's necessarily old. What it means is a mature, sainted woman, a woman of God. A woman who's lived long enough and walked with God that she can mentor other ladies, and you know that's a principle ladies that we're losing, is mature Christian ladies mentoring young Christian ladies. We need that so desperately in our churches. Says, the aged women likewise that they be in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things. Verse 4, that they may teach the young women to be sober. That doesn't mean not to be drunk. That word sober means to be serious minded. to be mature, to love their husbands, to love their children. Now you know what? Immediately, you would think that's a moot point. Why in the world do you need to tell a wife to be affectionate toward her husband and toward her children? Because that word love is a different word than the word used for a husband loving his wife. This word has to do with showing tender affection, has the idea of cherishing. Just as a husband cherishes his wife, a wife cherishes her husband. That word cherish means to make warm. It's the idea of passion and passionate love. It's the idea of affection. You would think it'd just come natural for a woman to affectionately love her husband and her children, but however, that is not always the case. In working with couples who have experienced infidelity in their marriage, I have found, as a pastor, that the breakdown in the relationship oftentimes can be traced to a lack of affection on the part of one or both spouses. The wife can become distracted by children, household duties, work outside the home that causes her to neglect her role as a wife and her ministry to her husband. And it results in the distancing of their relationship. And the husband becomes bitter and resentful of whatever he feels is robbing him of his wife's affection. Ladies, I cannot stress enough, your husband needs your affection. He needs it. Colossians 3.19, the Bible says, Husbands, love your wives and be not bitter against them. As a young Christian, I always wondered, what does it mean not to be bitter against them? But yet, the longer I've been married, the longer I've been in ministry, the more I've worked with couples, the more I realize that that husband builds up a bitter resentment in his heart toward a wife that does not pay attention to his needs and does not show him affection. Ladies, listen to me carefully. Listen, the biggest danger is when a woman has children to devote all of her life to that child and neglect her husband. And while that husband loves that child, he can become resentful of his own offspring because it's robbing him of the affection of a wife. The best thing you can do for your children is to love their daddy. To become affectionate with your words by saying, I love you. I appreciate how you care for me. I could never be complete without you. I'm glad I have you. It's nice to wake up next to you each morning. I'm proud you're my husband. I'm glad God put us together. Wives, build his ego. Every man's got an ego. Just does. Build it. through affectionate words, by telling him that you appreciate his manhood, that you appreciate his leadership, that you appreciate his role as a husband, and that you're glad God gave him to you. Hey, he's not a perfect man. He's got his faults just like I and every other man have. But yet you recognize your role as a wife is to be affectionate and encouragement to him and to build him and to help him in his own personal life and be affectionate with your words. Don't wait on him to say, I love you. You say, I love you. Don't wait on him to show affection. You show affection. Be affectionate with your actions, such as an affectionate touch, kiss, etc. To just reach over and take his hand. to come up behind him and kiss him on the cheek. By the way, your children need to see you as parents showing affection. They need that desperately. I'm tired of the excuse, well, my mom and daddy wasn't affectionate. So what? Don't throw that excuse on me. That's just an excuse. Listen, that may be a reason why you struggle in that area, or maybe you never saw it happen, and so you don't know how to emulate it, but that doesn't mean you can't learn, and it doesn't mean that it may be a reason why you struggle, but it should never be an excuse to let you go on being disobedient to God. And when you don't show affection to your husband, ladies, it's not just being who you are. It is disobedience to God Almighty. That's what it is. Because God said, love your husband. Be affectionate. Not only does it teach your children affection, and by the way, kiss on your children. Hug on your children. Touch your children. They need that. Men, listen, I know as our daughters get older, and I realize that they go through changes and stuff, but that doesn't mean that I can't, in the right way, hug my daughter, or love my daughter, or kiss my daughter on the head. That doesn't mean that I can't show her affection. Let me tell you something, there's teenage girls dying for the affection of a father, and if they don't get it from you, they're going to get it from some boy out there. I know tonight's plain preaching, but I'm going to tell you something. I'll be honest with you. I think we as preachers have sidestepped some stuff too much. And we're afraid somebody's going to get upset, and we're afraid this, and we're afraid that. And I'm going to tell you what I believe our nation's dying of, too. It's just somebody opening the book of God and saying, listen, this is what God says, and this is what we need to be striving for, and we need to be God's kind of person, and we need to quit making excuses. And God said, great peace have they which love thy law, and nothing shall offend them. And I'm going to tell you something, if you're a Christian that loves God, and you love this Bible, there's nothing this preacher can say in a heart of love that should make you offended or mad. because ultimately the problem's not with the preacher, it's with God. That's where it's at. It assures them that mom and dad love each other and are going to stay together. They need it. When they see mom and dad showing affection, and there's affection in that home, When they see that, it brings about to them an assurance that mom and daddy love each other. That's what it brings. And it teaches them when they become adults. It models before them biblical truth to teach them to love one another and to show affection for their mates and for their children. And it brings a sense of harmony and love in that home. that's different from the world. God says of the world that they're hateful and hating one another. Their homes aren't full of love. But our homes ought to be fulfilled with love. When an unsaved person in our family or the world enters our home, they ought to tell immediately that it's different. It's different. They just should. And they need to see that you're different. You know, one of the things I don't get to do very often, but one of the things I enjoy about revival meeting is there's a time, and one of the reasons why I don't sit on the platform, I could. My chair up here is a whole lot more comfortable than that chair down there, I can promise you that. But the reason I come down there is not only because I want to submit to the authority of the Word of God, and I want something to help me, but I get to put my arm around my wife in church. I like that. You know, I'm next to her. She travels with me wherever I go. You say, Preacher, I know Miss Laurie, she doesn't fly. You're right, she doesn't. Only time she's gonna fly probably be the rapture. That'll just be it. But I carry her with me in my suitcase. I do, it's a picture of her. And I set it up in my room, and it reminds me. And I want to just tell you, little things will make the difference. Put little notes in his lunch, ladies. Write him a note and say, I love you. Write him a note and tell him what a great man he is, that you're thankful that he's a leader, that you're glad God gave him to you. I realize there's hurting ladies here. You say, Preacher, I've been through a bad marriage and I'd love to have that opportunity. I understand that. I want you to know my heart goes out. There's some of you who struggle because you're here by yourself or you're trying to raise children by yourselves. I'm gonna tell you as a church family, we need to come around you and love you more. We sure do. Be a help to you. So you're not out there by yourself. But I'm gonna tell you something, ladies and men. If you've got your marriage, you better guard it. And you better protect it. And you better treasure it. And do everything you can to be God's kind of person. Because you don't ever, ever, ever want the scar of divorce in your life. And those that have experienced it, and maybe they're in another marriage, God wants you to make this marriage everything He intended it to be. And you know what I'm talking about, the scar that's there. And the pain that's there. And I just want to challenge you tonight, and I just want to encourage you tonight. Protect what God's given you. Value and treasure it and work at it. Listen, some of these things that I've talked about tonight, hey, we're a work in progress. That's why we call it sanctification. We're growing. Ain't none of us arrived yet, including the preacher and his wife. Okay? All you gotta do is live with us for a week and you'll figure it out. We ain't got it all mastered yet. We're still growing. We're right where you are. Trying to grow our marriage and our family and be what God would have it to be and fail. Oh yes, we fail. We have to get right with each other and get right with God and all that stuff. And you know, I don't think there's ever such a thing as a good fight. Okay, I don't believe that. And I know men preach messages on how to have a fight. And I don't believe you ought to have... I don't want to teach you how to do that. You can do that on your own. That's natural. I don't have to tell you how to do that. But I will tell you how to get it right afterwards. You know? Because I'm going to tell you, I'm stubborn. I am. I'm stubborn. So is she. Don't you let her fool you. See, she's got you snowed. Let me just tell you. You come on. No, I'm kidding. But there's times that I just have to come and say, honey, I'll tell you something. I was wrong. I was a sorry husband. I lost my temper, and I said things I shouldn't have said, and I had a wrong attitude. I have to get that right. But boy, I tell you what I like. I likes when I get that right, you know? And I like the hug and the kiss afterwards. That's good stuff. You know, I like that. That's good. You know? And you know what you need to do? Listen, don't be holding grudges for the next 20 years and your marriage and all that kind of stuff. Listen, get it right, forgive, and go on. You know? And make it what God has. Listen, I just want... I love you tonight. I want you to have everything God wants you to have. And I want our young couples. I want you to have the kind of marriage God wants you to have. And I wish your preacher was always a better example. Sometimes I blow it. I just want you to know that. But I'm sure we're going to strive to. And you know what? We're just going to strive together to be what God has us to be. Amen? Be godly men, godly women, godly home. Just do the best we can as we seek to walk with the Lord. To take what God says and put it into our lives. How important that is. And I hope you'll strive to do that tonight. That you'll just maybe come down and seal that with a prayer as a husband, as a wife, maybe together. Maybe it's been a long time since you prayed together. Maybe tonight you need to pray together. Maybe tonight you need to whisper in your wife's ear and tell her you're sorry. Maybe in your husband's ear, maybe you need to say, honey, I've not been affectionate like I need to have been paying attention to you. I'm going to do better at that. Now, what you don't do is go up and say, now, preacher said, I'm reminding you. No, you don't need to do that. Listen, the Holy Spirit will do His job. You just let Him, okay? But maybe you need to come up tonight and just pray together. Listen, I just want God's best for you. I know I've preached for a while tonight, but I'm going to tell you something. Carolina and Duke's already played today, so it doesn't matter. All right? It doesn't matter. So we're here to get what God wants for our lives, and you can't rush it, folks. We can't always take and capsulize a service into an hour. Sometimes it just takes a little longer, because God wants us to get something, okay? I hope you'll strive to make your marriage what God wants it to be. Let's stand on our feet, heads bowed, eyes closed.