This morning, in part of our 10-week series, I've been asked... I have three sermons to preach in the 10-week series on morality in marriage, and two of the three are great. I got to kick it off with a normal message about what marriage is supposed to be like. That's wonderful. And even the message I'm going to preach in three weeks on singleness and what God expects from singles and how singles should function as they anticipate marriage, it's a great message. I'm so excited about that. They're both from the Song of Solomon. And tucked here in the middle, I got one of the other ones. And so if you're not aware of the topic, this morning I was asked to speak on a Christian's biblical view of pornography. And I've been dreading it until I started studying God's Word. And I just gotta tell you, the same thing happens every time. I'm just full because God has great answers and great perspective on this matter. In the Pixar classic, A Bug's Life, The movie opens with a couple of mosquitoes or gnats or whatever they are, moths perhaps, flying around near a bug zapper. And they say, don't look at the light! Don't look at the light! The other one says, but it's so beautiful! More recently, in the renowned classic Wreck-It Ralph, they resurrected this concept of the light eradicating the mosquitoes, the bugs. And I'd just like to begin with that image. It's more kind of comically, but not comically at all. What happens to the moths when they look at the bug light? It's not good, but it's so beautiful, seemingly so. Well, let me tell you what I think we need to accomplish today. Our need today is to understand God's attitude, to see His mind, to see His thoughts about two things, the nature of pornography and the consequences of pornography. We need to discover how important it is to God how important it is to God that we absolutely avoid this perverse and dangerous worldly lifestyle. Why would we address this topic? I mean, can't we just look past it? Well, we haven't talked a lot about this, but the main title of our sermon series is not even a hint. taken from this text in Ephesians 5.3, but among you there must not even be a hint of sexual immorality or any kind of impurity or of greed. Now I want you to stop for a minute and see the word greed. This idea of selfishness as it relates to the perversion of God's design in sex is pervasive, important, and if you don't get the idea that any perversion of God's design in sex comes out of a heart of selfishness and greed, you've missed the point. We'll unpack that a little bit more, because these are improper for God's holy people. Why address this topic? Because it's everywhere. Who's holding a smartphone? It's everywhere. It's insidious and it's growing. It's attacking. It's taking lives. Why address this topic? Because it's everywhere. In fact, it's supposed to be something that is hidden and private and dirty. And now, it's on my TV. I can't go up 69. Why a restaurant called Twin Peaks? Why do I have to change the way I drive and not go north on 69 to see the billboard with the breasts? Just right there every day when I go to work. So we'll go Keystone Avenue instead. Why? You have heard it was said, Jesus said, you shall not commit adultery. But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Now during the Sermon on the Mount when Jesus spoke of this way, he used this expression. You've heard it said, don't commit adultery. Check. Almost 25 years through my marriage and I have not, praise the Lord, failed on that one. But that was inadequate in Jesus' mind. Oh, that external, not enough. But I say to you that everyone who looks on a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery in his heart. This was so important to Jesus that he added intensifying language to this, that he didn't add to any of the other ones. He said, hey, if your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away, because it's better that you would lose one of the members of your body than your whole body be thrown into hell. Why would he use that language? Probably this way. Paul expanded on this in 1 Corinthians 6, 8. Hey, run away from sexual immorality. Every other sin you commit is outside your body. Stealing? Outside my body. Lying? Outside my body. But the sexually immoral person sins against their own body. Sexual sin is unique and distinct. Have your attention yet? It's just the introduction. It grabbed mine. It grabbed mine. Everywhere we go. In fact, guys, Proverbs chapter 5, talking about the pervasiveness and just the lunacy of this sort of thing would have been foreign to the biblical writers, although there was certainly sexual sin at that time. In the Old Testament, the sexual nature of a man was pictured poetically as a spring. And the sexual picture of a woman was pictured as a well for anatomical reasons, obviously. And so listen to Solomon's writing in Proverbs chapter 5. He said to his son, Rehoboam, drink water from your own cistern, water flowing from your own well. Should your springs flow in the streets, streams of water in the public squares? Why are there billboards? Should it be out there in the public? No. They should be for you alone, not to share with strangers. Why, my son, should you be infatuated with a forbidden woman or embrace the breast of a stranger? For a man's ways are before the Lord's eyes. He considers all the paths. A wicked man's sins trap him. He gets tangled in the ropes of his own sin. He will die because there's no discipline, and he will be lost because of his great stupidity. We have to see God's mind on this. Well, just a whisker here of introduction. And let me back up just one second. Let me tell you how this is gonna go here. I'm trying to tease you with the idea of pornography and get your mind in that thought. Then we're gonna step away from that because this is Sunday morning. This is not a workshop. This is not a seminar. This is a sermon. and I want to teach you from God's Word, and I want to bring exaltation and great glory to the name of Christ, and I would hope to benefit you in your spiritual life. So God led me to a great text that we read that I think will do that, and also will allow me then to come back at the end, and we'll come back to pornography and the idea of that, and make some observations that I hope help you see it through God's eyes. and allow you to battle it more effectively in your life. That make sense? So I'm just teasing it here for a minute, then we're gonna step away and we're gonna study a text a little bit without considering pornography, just in its normal context, and then come back to this, okay? Well, guys, it's a $15 billion industry a year. B-b-b-b-b-billion. Just put your mind around that. I know the NFL has grown. This was about four years ago that I read the statistic that the porn industry was bigger than all of the major sporting industries combined. I know this is a little hard for you to read. From 2014, the following percentages of men say they view pornography at least once a month. 18 to 30 year olds, 79% say they view pornography once a month. 67% of 31-49 year olds, 49% of 50-68 years old. At least several times a week, 63% of young men, 38% of middle-aged men, 25% of senior men. People say it's only a man's thing. No, that's not true. The following percentages of women say they view pornography at least once a month. Young women, 76%. Middle-aged women, 16%. Senior women, 4%. And at least several times a week, young women, 21%. One in five. So sad. 31 to 49-year-olds, 5%. Senior women, 5%. It is a huge industry. It started as, back in the day, before the digital age, VHS and magazines, playing cards, Boy, it's changed. And morphed. And that's what makes it so insidious. I don't want to spend a ton of time on that, you probably understand. But let me make it very plain to you. It's enormous. It's after you. It wants your wallet, and the byproduct is it takes your soul. It wants your children. It wants your grandchildren. It is evil. And I'm trying to be a little dramatic here, and I'm not the most dramatic guy, but I hope that you're getting the point. And it is not anything to be ignored in our culture. In younger cultures, or in previous cultures, where this was on the shelf and a little bit behind, Children were not exposed to this sort of thing as regularly and as frequently, but my goodness, friends, we live in a sexually explicit and addictive culture. It's everywhere. Everywhere. Even your innocent little sitcoms are all about sex. Not so innocent. All right. Turn your Bibles to Ephesians, chapter four, where you just were. What a great text. I'm gonna try to step away from the idea of pornography just for a minute and teach this text. And you're smart guys and ladies, you'll probably begin to see the seeds of things that are gonna come out of this again. But I love the book of Ephesians. It's wonderful. If you've never seen how the second half breaks down, it's wonderful. Paul uses an expression, peripeteo in the Greek means to walk. It's commonly translated to live. And verses one through six, he says we're supposed to, I should, I'll butcher this and you don't have to turn all of this. I just want to explain the, organization of the book to you. I should have been turning here while I had you turn there. In Ephesians chapter 4, he says that we're supposed to walk in a manner worthy of our calling, that we're supposed to live up to Christ. Here in Ephesians 4, 17 through the end of the chapter, he says we're supposed to not walk as the Gentiles do. In Ephesians 5, he says we're supposed to walk in love. Later in Ephesians 5, he says we're supposed to not walk as unwise, but as wise. And then we come to the end of the chapter, chapter six, and he says, finally, we're supposed to be strong in the Lord and in the power of his might. And so there's these very natural sections of the book of Ephesians here, where Paul addresses a variety of topics. And this particular one, he draws a contrast. He says, you used to walk like the Gentiles. Now we're all Gentiles here, so that might Most of us are. I don't know if there's any actual Hebrews here. There are Jews nationally. But I would assume most of us, if not all of us, are Gentiles. This is a little bit of a metaphor for the unsaved. It was used in that fashion still in the New Testament, where Jews and Gentiles, still a very Jewish church. And so he says, now listen, I'm telling you this from the Lord, that you shouldn't walk the way unsaved people walk if you know Christ. I'm assuming you know him. That's right, that's kind of a funny thing to say. No, Paul said it. Remember reading that? Assuming you've heard about him and been taught in him. Well, how do the Gentiles walk? How do they live? What is this understanding we should have? Well, in verse 17, he says, they walk in the futility of their minds. Now, this is a direct reference and allusion to the Old Testament book of Ecclesiastes, where we learn that all of life is futile under the sun, apart from God. If you do not have God in your equation, you learn, as Nietzsche did, the German philosopher, and Hegel did, that life's meaningless. What's the point? What are we living for? Why are we even doing anything? I mean, nothing really satisfies me. It's kind of boring. What's the big deal? And so they seek to make meaning out of their life, and truly, a life apart from God is rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. You hate to have that job? I mean, the Titanic is sinking, and we're trying to get everything just right in our lives, and we are on our way to a godless eternity in hell. That is pretty futile, isn't it? That is pretty meaningless, isn't it? That is pretty empty, isn't it? Oh, I grab a little pleasure here at Ruth Chris, and oh, I succeeded in my job, and for what? In the futility of their minds. In fact, 1 Corinthians 2, Paul says it very, very plainly. He says, of the world apart from Christ, professing to become wise, they're foolish. They don't ask the right questions so they could never get the right answers. I'm so tired of talk news and talk radio because they never ever bring God into the equation. And so I have this semantic equivocation that I constantly have to do in listening to them. And I'm like, you know what? You are putting band-aids on people where they need tourniquets. It's horrible. The futility of their minds. He goes on in verse 18 and he says, they are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that's in them. Now I can't help but Paul is thinking about Jesus in his life when he looked out on the masses and had compassion on them because they were like sheep without a shepherd, and he said, the fields are white unto harvest. Pray the Lord of the harvest that he would send laborers into the field to tell people about Jesus. They don't know. They are ignorant. We are born dead, Romans 6 says, right? We are born ignorant of God. What a sad thing, right? People don't know any better. And you know, we get so angry at the unsaved people, and sometimes, and we're so short, and we get angry at the culture, and angry at the way they're hijacking my nation, and angry. They're just doing what they do. They don't know any better. Jesus looked at that, and he had compassion. We really have to think about our motivations, and how we behave and respond to the things that are going on in the world. Do you expect someone who doesn't know the Lord to act like they do? Oh, I do sometimes. I wish they would, but they don't. Due to the hardness of their heart, they have become calloused. And why would you expect any different? They have given themselves to every kind of sensuality. They are greedy to practice every kind of impurity. Well, if you don't have anything ultimate you're searching for, and there's no meaning and purpose in life, what do you find yourself chasing? I'm only here 80 years, I might as well have a little fun while I'm here. And if you don't know the Lord, I don't blame you. But there's a better way. But this is the way, this is what we were called out of, right? A meaningless, empty, small life where we are grabbing every, greedy for every kind of pleasure. Where every meal is about me, and every relationship is about me, and every image is about me, and every dollar is about me. Greedy to practice every kind of immorality. Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me. God is love, love is giving. It's just a total cultural worldview difference, right? And so he says and draws the distinction again, but that is not how you learned Christ. Assuming you've heard about him. Isn't that funny that Paul would say that? He wrote to this church to tell them you shouldn't be acting this way. You shouldn't be acting this way. This is not how I taught you about Jesus. Were you paying attention? Did you really learn? Because if you don't have any fruit on your root, I wonder if you have a root. Right? At least you should ask the question. The entire book of 1 John was written for that. If you say you walk in the light, or if you say you are in the light, but you walk in the darkness, you lie. The truth is not in you. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. Paul says, I just want to put it on the table here. I know I taught you about Christ. I know we had a nice cathartic exchange where you said, yeah, that's cool, but nothing's changed. You still live like you used to. Can I ask you, did it make a difference? Is it real? Because Christians live differently than the unsaved. assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him as the truth is in Jesus." What a great little phrase there, the truth is in Jesus. I don't have time to unpack that, but... It's wonderful. All right. So what do we do? What were we taught? How does it change? Well, this is a great text about, there are different ways that we're taught in the Bible about how we grow. And this is one of the classical counseling texts and one of the classical texts on how do you make a difference in your life because you were called out of one style of life to another. What is the process that I use to change? And there are three-step process here that God gives us that He then illustrates through the rest of the chapter. And they are the fact that we are supposed to put off the old man. There are things we're supposed to stop doing. Anyone here ever tried to stop a bad habit? Yeah? Me too. Is it easy? No? No? That's hard. And God knows that, so He says, okay, we're not just supposed to put off certain things. Hey, let's replace them. Anyone ever tried to replace a bad habit with a good habit? That's easier, by the way. It's easier. By the way, the statistics tell us it takes about three weeks to stop an old habit and three more weeks to start a new one. So if you're ever involved in some time, that's just basic anthropology. If you're ever in the midst of trying to change your life and like three days in you're like, gosh, this is hard. Yes, you're not quite there yet. Sometimes it takes three weeks to break an old one, three more weeks to create a new one. So there's nothing wrong with that. The spiritual life is a growth process, right? So understand that. So put off the old man. put on the new man." A little image here, shedding the old clothes, let's get some new ones on, okay? Colossians, actually, in a very sister passage, where Paul maybe wrote these letters in very, very close proximity to one another from a chronology, uses very, very similar language and over there says, hey, we should take off those clothes and put on these clothes. What a great image, right? We should put off those nasty old clothes and put on the new clothes. All right, well, If you look at verse 22, we're gonna learn something about the old clothes. You gotta get rid of the old clothes, okay? What do the old clothes look like? I mean, I can't say get rid of that ugly plaid blazer, you know? If I tell you throw your clothes away, you might throw them all away. I gotta tell you which ones to throw away, which ones to keep. To put off your old self, which belongs to the former manner of life, that's what he just described, the way the Gentiles live, and is corrupt through deceitful desires. Which clothes do you need to get rid of? The ones that are full of lies that gets you to behave in a greedy, selfish, desire-oriented way. Does that make sense? The old manner of life is being corrupted through deceitful desires. We say you can't live according to your feelings. This would be one of those key texts that you shouldn't just do what you want. If it feels good, do it. No. Those jackets and jeans and shirts should be in the fire. That is corrupting you in accordance with deceitful desires. Your desires are deceitful. What does deceitful mean? They lie. Your desires lie to you. The heart is deceitfully wicked. Who can know it? There is no one who seeks God. No, not one. We have all turned away, and every one of us has gone their own way, and the Lord laid on Him the iniquity of us all. This is basic Christianity anthropology, one-on-one. When you have a desire, you should ask, is it lying to me? Aren't there things in the world that look good that are not good for you? Oh, I'm getting ahead of myself. There are things you want that aren't good for you, right? And even too much of a good thing can become a bad thing, right? The old man is corrupted. through deceitful desires. We must not live in a way that is simply giving capitulation to our urges and our feelings and our desires and our wants again and again and again and again. This is the lifestyle of an unsaved person. Okay? So those are the clothes we got to get rid of. They need to go to Goodwill. No, don't give them to Goodwill. Someone else will buy them and that'll be bad. Just burn them. Okay? Now we're supposed to put on the new clothes. Verse 24, put on the new clothes that are put on the new self created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. So where the old clothes were characterized by deceitful desires, the new clothes are characterized by true righteousness and holiness. So over there we had deceit, over here we have truth. Over there we had desires, over here we have righteousness and holiness. Okay, Sunday school quiz. This is the easy one, right? Okay, so you already know the answer, right Greg? Because I already told you it's a Sunday school quiz, so you know the answer. What things do you know that are full of truth, righteousness, and holiness? Two answers. God's Word and God himself. Very good. Anybody want to submit any other answers for consideration for things that are full of true righteousness and holiness? There are no others. Jesus. Yes, exactly. That's the Sunday school answer. So, in contrast to that, the clothes that we put on are things that, or maybe we say it this way, that we would live more principally. that we would seek to do to know what is true and imitate God in heaven who is righteous and holy. That make sense? See the contrast there? Okay. But right now, guess what? That's all you. It's all you. And the Bible says I'm crucified with Christ. Nevertheless, I live. But not I. It's Christ who lives in me. In the life I live, I live by the power of the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me. So this can't just be some behavioral concoction where I summon the strength to ditch the bad habit and run over here and exist another three weeks and create a new habit and replace it and I did it and call it spiritual growth. No. It could be good. Could be good for you. Might not be a bad thing to get sent out of your life and do it. I'm not saying that would be evil. I'm simply saying that might not be Christ-like growth. because we skipped verse 23. Did everyone notice that? And verse 23 is probably the most important part, and I think it's one of the most neglected parts of this whole equation, and it says that we are to be made new in the spirit of our minds. It sounds kind of like Romans chapter 12, where we're told not to conform to the pattern of this world any longer, but to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. And if you think about this, the New Testament of 2 Corinthians 11, 3, we're told we're supposed to take every thought captive to the obedience of Jesus Christ. By the way, did you know that? Did you know you could take your thoughts captive? I like to say it this way. The air in your lungs that wants to come out of your mouth can go through your brain first, and be stopped. I know it's a little shorter there, but it's good to let it effervesce there into the cranium and then let it come back down in the mouth. And sometimes you'll actually think of something and not say it. It's actually possible to begin to think about something at two in the morning. Can't sleep, failing to trust God, getting worried, and say, no, I need to take those thoughts captive. Captive to the trust of God. You are in charge to some extent about how you think and what you think. And so, we have to begin to see life through God's eyes and allow God to renew our minds and change our hearts so that this putting off and this putting on is the expression of Christ living in us and God is receiving the glory for the change that occurs in us. And that's the missing ingredient that many, many people don't understand. And so he gives, I'll give you an easy one that we're not talking about this morning, but he says, let him who stole steal no longer, let him labor with his hands so that he may have something good to give to the one who's in need. Okay, so we're not gonna talk about that, I'm just gonna illustrate the put off, the put on, and the new mind, okay? So, let him who stole steal no longer, but let him labor with his hands so that he may have something good to give to the one who's in need. What is the put off? Don't steal. Let him who stole steal no longer. That's the put off. What's the put on? Well, let him work. What's the new mind? So that he may have something good to share with the one who is in need. Why do people steal? Because I want that. I want that. Who are they focused on when they want that? Themselves. Does that sound like a deceitful desire? Is that the old man? I want that. I want that. Oh, yeah, yeah. Wait a minute. What does God say about love? Love is you before me. Love is, like God said, God demonstrated His love for us and that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son. Love is giving and extending and not worrying about yourself but giving to other people. When you begin to see that others need stuff more than you do, now you're changing your thinking. Now God is living in you and it's going to be much more natural for you not to take. And it's going to be much more natural for you to give because you understand it's not about you. It was about them. Does that make sense? It's the new, my God, change the way you think, change the way you think. All right, now verse 25. In our text, that lends itself much more to pornography. Okay? I've often wondered about this. And through this study, I've come to some conclusions. Verse 25. Therefore, Having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, because we're members one of another. The first two questions are pretty easy, right? We've got to think about that third one for a minute. Hopefully your mind, I'm smelling a little smoke out there and that's a good thing. That means you're awake and thinking. What's to put off? Falsehood, lying, dishonesty, right? So will we all agree, Christians? that the Bible says that we should put off lying, dishonesty, falsehood. Yeah? Anyone besides me still struggle with that a little bit? I mean, that's all shades, right? That's everything. Embellishment. White lies. Lies to not disappoint somebody. Lies to make yourself look a little better. Lies, even, that you're going to go fix in a minute. Yeah, I cleaned my room. Whatever. But we're supposed to get rid of all of them, right? And instead, we're supposed to tell the truth. Now what happens, and I've discovered in counseling, even in my own experience, that some people decide I'm not going to lie anymore. and that's incomplete. If they only do step one, take off the old, you know what happens eventually? That old manner of life comes back. And they get painted into a corner at work, or at home, or at school, or something, and a little lie pops out to take the pressure off. So you can't just decide not to lie, that's only step one. But step two is even better, where you say, okay, I will become a truth teller. Are you a truth teller? Are you a truth teller? What a great thing, right? Remember what I said earlier, God is truth? If you're a truth teller, that means you tell people about God. Are you a truth teller? Have you decided that you will never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, under any circumstances, no matter what, represent anything that isn't true? Now, I don't want to get into some of you guys out there who are already being skeptical of me. Well, what if you're a spy in a war and you're told to pass out disinformation? Yeah, okay. I'm just talking about your daily life, all right? Let's deal with the exceptions later, okay? But you've decided, hey, under normal life circumstances, I'm just telling the truth. I think it was C.S. Lewis who says, politicians could really learn from this. C.S. Lewis used a sentence that only used one-syllable words to describe whether something's a true or a lie. If one says of that that is, that it is, or of that that is not, that it is not, he speaks the truth. If one speaks of that that is not, as it is, or of that that is not, that it is, he does not speak the truth. What is the meaning of the word is, you know, Mr. Clinton? You don't know where we are. This is truth and lies. And I'm so tired, I watch Fox News and I'm like, oh my gosh. I mean, but this is our society, okay? But have you decided, rabbit trail there, back here, lasso, every thought captive, and have you decided that you will only tell the truth, only tell the truth, only tell the truth? I hope so. But now we've got to get to the middle ground. Because those things are just external decisions you can make that might not allow Christ to live in you, which is what we want. So, that third part's a little tricky. Now remember, it's going to describe the new mind. The new mind. And this is what he says about why. Why, for the glory of God, and for the good of his church, we should put off lying and tell the truth. Ready? Because we are members of one another. Huh? What? I don't get it. Oh, yeah, you do. It's the difference between reality and fantasy, and whether you engage into real-life relationships or whether you live in fantasyland. When my five-year-old cheats in a game to win and says, I won, Daddy! You didn't. That's fantasy. It's not real. You've disconnected from reality. How can we have an honest relationship when you are lying and cheating? We are no longer members of one another. You have gone off into fantasy land. You have disconnected from the group. Who's the leader of the group? God? Does God lie? God is truth. So when you lie, you disconnect yourself from truth, God, reality. It's not real. You're in fantasy land. Who wants to live in fantasy land? Maybe it's a good place, I don't know. Man, you apply this all over the world, husband and wife. I promise, you only, you only, you only. Fantasyland. At school, you cheat on a test. You get a grade. Fantasyland. Oh, the teacher might think it. It might show in the book. It's not real. It's not real. Where's the truth? Does that make sense? You have disconnected from truth and honesty and you are just inevitable. And I got to ask you a question here. What do you want to be? Do you want to be honorable or just deceive everybody into thinking you're honorable? Is there a difference? Do you want to be spiritual or are you satisfied with just everyone thinking you are? Is there a difference? We were laughing last night, me and my girls, about that wonderful clip, it's Reformation Sunday, from the movie Luther. I don't know why more people just can't get their mind around this and what reveals the heart that doesn't understand, that lives like the Gentiles. When people come to you and say, that was wrong what you did, everyone wants to say, no, no it wasn't. And instead you should say, you don't know the half of it. You think I'm bad? I'm really bad. What is wrong with that? We say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. Put off, put on, see life through God's eyes, take into account the divine perspective, understand wisdom. So as far as it relates to this, the first example, when he just goes through, hey, don't let the sun go down in your anger. Don't give the devil an opportunity. Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but only that which is good for the edification of the saints. I mean, he just illustrates this again and again and again and again through the rest of the chapter. We don't have time to mine it all out. It's not my point this morning. But put off, put on, don't ignore that middle part. Isn't that a fun exercise to think? Doesn't that help? To think that when I lie, steal, and cheat, I disconnect from God himself, who is only true and only purports truth? The stakes become so high and I think, oh no, no, I will not trade. I pray I won't trade. I don't want to trade my relationship with God for a white lie. Or for skeletons in my closet. Or for little sections of life that I don't want anyone to know about. Alright. What can we learn from this text about pornography in the last few minutes here? Well, let me tell you a few things about pornography as it relates to this text, and specifically verse 25. First of all, porn is futile and destructive. Now sex is a wonderful thing created by God, given to married couples. And I like to picture it this way. I don't know if you can see those pictures there. In fact, God said that love is the very flame of Yahweh and sex is the greatest expression of love that a husband and wife can give as long as it's self-less sex, not selfish sex. where that is a great opportunity for them to express their love, their giving, pleasure, one to another, not worried about themselves, worried about the other person fully in that regard. And so on the left there, you have a picture of fire in a fireplace. Anyone have a fireplace? Fire pit, don't you enjoy that? Marshmallows, hot dogs, warm, just beautiful. On the left there, fire out of control. You see the house fire there? Anyone ever been part of a house fire? Been around a house fire, couple hands, no fun. No fun. God understands this. That sex, remember, any sin that a person commits, sexual sin, is a sin in their own body, and it is addictive, and it is grabbing, and it is pointless, and it grabs you, and it wants more, and more, and more, and more of you. When you take the fire out of the fireplace, I'm just telling you it's a bad idea. We'll unpack that a little bit more here. Does that make sense? It is futile. It's not meant to work that way. The end of it, I had another graphic there, just said, one more, one more, one more, one more, one more, one more, one more. Because any type of greedy, deceptive, desire-oriented lifestyle, you have to go right back to the book of Ecclesiastes where Solomon wrote, the eye is never satisfied with seeing, the ear is never satisfied with hearing, there will always be a little more you want if sex is you taking. You'll never be satisfied. it will not satisfy you. Any more than that last dress you bought that was so cool the first time you wore it, and then the third time you wore it, it's like whatever, and now it's laying in the bottom of your closet. Or the new car you bought that was so great, or the first bite of the meal when you're really hungry, where does the satisfaction level go from there? If we live craving lifestyles, we will never, ever, ever be happy. Ever. We're not made that way. We're made in the image of God, as Pastor taught us last week. So we were designed to serve and to give, not to take. We can only be happy when we are giving. So that idea of futility is so important. Another thing here that's really, really important as I'm just transitioning there and I was on to it. Sex perverts love into, I'm sorry, porn perverts love into selfishness. The feelings of romance and infatuation and sexual pleasure are desires, right? And if we allow our lives to be oriented around desire, what was the word used to describe those desires? Deceitful. Will those desires ever lie to you? Will they ever lie to you? Will they ever take you to the bug zapper? Don't look at the light, but it's so beautiful. In fact, our society is so, so messed up. When people say, I love you, what many of them mean is, I love me, and I like the way you make me feel. And by the way, if you ever stop making me feel this way, I won't like you anymore. because they have not thought so deeply. The premarital counseling I do, I'm like, okay, I know it's cool. I mean, I'm talking to my own son. I was in a relationship. I'm like, look, I know it's cool. I know it feels exciting. I know it's great. But are you ready? Have you decided for her, nobody else, as long as you live, that you are done with your own desires, your own wants, your own initiatives, and you are ready to love that person, for better, for worse, in sickness and in health, no matter what happens to their appearance, no matter what happens to their mental state, whatever happens to their spirituality, are you ready to be, Old Testament image, Hosea to Gomer if you marry them? Because it is not about, I love me, and I happen to like the way you make me feel. Man, that's horrible. Sex perverts love into selfishness. In fact, 1 Thessalonians 4, verse 3, this is the will of God for your life, your sanctification, that you abstain from sexual immorality, and that each one of you know how to control, listen, look at this, control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who don't know God. Does that sound just like the passage we just read? Well, he's applying the sexual nature of it, and so I gotta transition here for a minute. If I might say, turn the tape off, okay. There are Christian counselors who actually teach that masturbation is a great gift to singles. Now, I want you to think about this for me, just for a second. I know it's a little bit, oh my God, did he say that? Yeah, let's just think about it. We're already talking about pornography, right? What do you think the natural extension of that is? This is about taking pleasure for yourself, self, self, self, self, self. Do you really think, we talked about how hard it is to break habits, and we're not even done talking about porn yet, we gotta move, but if you start a boy at 10 years old on pornography and masturbation and just self-pleasure, okay? I'll just call it self-pleasure, okay? And so pornography and self-pleasure, and now this is a habit and a lifestyle begins ingrained, and it's going, and he is all about pleasing himself. and it's a secret sin and it is duplicitous and he is hidden it from parents and siblings and friends because it's dirty and nasty and nobody wants to know and he's disconnected from reality and he is not a member of one another. He is out there, okay? And then he hides it, and he meets this girl, and it's all fun, and you know how hormones and romanticism can take over. Can you imagine them getting at the altar, and they get married? And now he's supposed to figure out how to change 12 to 14 years of intense sexual habit, of selfish orientation, and now decide, oh, I'm going to make it 100% about her. Are you kidding me? That is no gift to singles. We are not to engage in selfish pursuits of pleasure as it relates to sexual sin. We are not. Not, not, not, not, not. Greedy. Greedy for every kind of sexual pleasure. Take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take. That is ungodly, is the perversion of love, yes? Love is you before me. Love porn just perverts, perverts love into selfishness. totally changes the whole equation. Sickening. Because it gets to the character of God himself, who is loving. And love is the greatest expression of God. It's horrible. I hope that's helpful. Well, can't miss this. Porn leads to addiction. Deborah, I couldn't help it. I had to put the Dr. Pepper up there because everybody knows. The thing about this, you know you're an addictive person. Everyone's an addictive person and if it gets a little, they call people workaholics, right? Golfaholics, you know, whatever, but the thing about work and golf aren't naturally addictive. We already have addictive people, people who like habits, people who like routines, they get into things, right? Everyone gets into things, right? So, we're a little addictive by nature, but work's not bad and the golf's not bad and, you know, the different hobbies we have, sometimes they go too far, right? But now we're talking about little bitty substances. Now the substance is a little addictive. How much more dangerous do you think it is to have an addictive person with an addictive substance? Do the stakes go up just a little bit? Now again, I'm not stopping drinking my Dr. Pepper. It's right over there. I don't think this is a dangerous one. But I'll tell you, I'm an addict. I am addicted. I drink one in the morning. I drink water the rest of the day. But if I do not have that sugar and caffeine in the morning, I will have a horrible headache. I am addicted. Maybe it's not the worst addiction. Now, you can all throw stones at me, but I went ahead and put coffee up there because I know that got most of the rest of you. So, I made myself feel just a little better there by tossing coffee up there with me. So, I don't know. Raise the stakes. Again, I'm not... I just raised the stakes a little bit, didn't I? These substances are a little bit more addicting, aren't they? Can't be right. Japanese have a proverb about alcohol. First the man takes a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes the man. seen great dangers of alcohol. I don't like it. Tobacco obviously harmful for your body. I'm not going to delve into whether these are, you know, what everyone's opinions are about those things, but all I'm talking about is addictive people with addictive substances, okay? Everyone understand that? That's danger. Anytime you're dealing with an addictive anything and you're an addictive person, young people, will you think about that for a minute, okay? You can't change these facts, okay? So just be aware. Be smart. That's cocaine and heroin. Why did you put cocaine and heroin up there? It's a little off color here. Engaging in pornography not only erodes the soul, It also physically impacts the way that your brain is wired. John Piper, in a recent article, explains some research within the medical community that shows that pornography has an addiction effect similar to cocaine and heroin. Cocaine and heroin cause a high in two distinct ways. But as the article explains, viewing pornography taps into both of these causes. A drug addict needs more and more drugs to realize the same sensation, right? Likewise, pornography rewires the brain in the same way. Pause. Every other sin is a sin outside your body, but he who sins sexually, what does he do? Sins against his own body. Rewires the brain in the same way and thus needing more and more pornography to feel the same effects. By the way, they know that. That's why 73% of porn online is free. It's the softest, mildest stuff because they know that once they get you looking, you will get your checkbook out, you will get your debit card out, and they will draw you in. You will need more and more. Therefore, pornography is not only addicting in a spiritualized, sin-craving manner, but your body becomes physically addicted to the high and needs more material to achieve this high. This addiction is both spiritual and physical, and it can all be accessed alone, anonymously, in the comfort of your personal computer or your smartphone. killing yourselves. What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin that grace may multiply? Absolutely not. How can we who died to sin still live in it? Or are you unaware that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into His death? Therefore, we were buried with Him by baptism into death, in order that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, so we too may walk in a new way of life. For if we have been joined with Him in the likeness of His death, we will certainly also be in the likeness of His resurrection." Because we know that our old self was certainly done away with, so that sin's dominion over the body may be abolished, so that we may no longer be slaves to sin. Because a person who has died is freed. Now, if we die with Christ, we believe we will also rise with him from the dead and not die again. Therefore, do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its desires. And do not offer any parts of your body to sin as weapons for unrighteousness, but as those who are alive from the dead. Offer yourselves to God and all the parts of yourselves to God as weapons for righteousness. Because sin will not rule over you, because you are not under law, but under grace. Besides this, knowing the time, it is already the hour for you to wake up. from sleep, for our salvation is nearer than when we first believed. The night is nearly over, the daylight is near, so let us throw away the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. Let's walk in decencies in the daylight, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and promiscuity, not in quarreling and jealousy, but let's put on the Lord Jesus Christ and make no plans to satisfy our fleshly desires." It just can't be stronger. Romans chapter 6. The gospel freed us from sin. Jesus did not die so that we could keep living in the dirty old clothes. He wanted to transform us. And He calls us out of darkness to live in His marvelous light. Isn't that great? Do you want to live in slavery? Porn will enslave you. By the way, don't do heroin either. I'm not joking. It's going crazy in our state all of a sudden. Young guys, there are some things just not worth trying. How about porn and heroin? That's not even worth it. It is killing yourself. Porn leads to hiding and lying. I guess this picture didn't turn out very well, but this is Adam and Eve, remember in the garden. Where are you? God said. I heard the voice of you walking in the garden, so I knew I was naked, so I ran and hid. People who engage in porn, especially Christians, who engage in pornography, they know it's wrong. They're embarrassed by it. And so it leads to a life of pulling away. Pornography separates friends from friends. Pornography separates people from churches. Pornography separates kids from parents. It's horrible. It removes you from the membership you should have. And you end up hiding and lying and living in your box. Do you really want to embrace a lifestyle of lying and hiding? When you worship a God who is truth, and the book of Titus says, he cannot lie. It's horrible. It leads to a lifestyle that is full of dishonesty. Put off lying, tell the truth. You ever been thirsty? Anybody? I am right now. I mean, I'm bad, aren't I? I mean, really thirsty. Oh, come on. I mean, like, where's my water bottle? All right. A book that helped me, I'm going to close with here, just a section here, a wonderful section. I think it's from the late 1990s. It's called Point Man by Steve Farrar. The title of the chapter is Telling Your Kids What You Don't Want to Tell Them. It's a section on parents talking to their children about sex, and most parents struggle with that. We as pastors have some resources for you. And again, I know this wasn't a workshop this morning or a seminar, but if, I mean, if you are struggling with this and you want to break this bondage, please see us. We do have help, we have resources, but let me just finish up here this morning. It's a story of a dad talking to his son. I'm getting into the middle here, and the father has just finished telling his son about his wife and him and what sex is. Now, John, I continued, I want you to know, it's really hard to understand right now, but I want you to know that it's really a great thing. Moms and dads enjoy it a lot. You'll enjoy it with your wife. But remember, this is something so special that God only wants mommies and daddies to do it with each other. Now, John, as you grow up, you're going to have friends and guys in school say things to you about sex. Most of them don't know anything what they're talking about. The reason they don't know what they're talking about is they haven't heard it from their dads. I'm telling you stuff tonight that most seven-year-olds don't know. In fact, right now, you know more about this than most of your friends. Seven. Hey, friends, seven might be too late. You looked around at the culture. I hate to tell you that, maybe you could wait longer when they were in previous cultures, but my goodness, don't be second. Don't be second, be first, talking to your kids about this issue. Be first. Nobody else. All right. But I want you to understand something very important. If you hear something you're not sure of, any questions, you can always come talk to me. I wanted them to know we had an opportunity. Then I said, hey John, what do you know about Playboy magazine? He said, well, Joey down the street told me his dad subscribes to Playboy. Have you ever seen it? No, but Joey told me it has pictures of naked women in it. Listen, John, one day one of your friends is going to want to show you a magazine like that. And if you see a picture of a naked lady, you're going to like it. You guys think so? You know the Hebrew of Genesis chapter 2, when God created Eve and showed him to Adam for the first time in the Hebrew, I think he said, booyah. I think that's what it was. I could be wrong on that. And he said, if you see a picture of a naked lady, you're going to like it. But not everything that is appealing to us is good for us. There are all kinds of magazines that show all kinds of naked ladies doing all kinds of things, and that's called pornography. And even though it's tempting to look at those magazines, it's very important that you don't. It's very important, John, that you protect your mind. Let me ask you a question. It's kind of gross. If you were really, really thirsty, really, really thirsty, and the water in the fridge wasn't working, and the water in the sink wasn't working, The water out of the tap wasn't working. Would you walk over to the toilet and scoop a little water and get a little drink? Dad! That's gross! I wouldn't do that! I know you wouldn't, John. But that's what you do to your mind when you look at pornography. It's like putting toilet water in your mind. You want to protect your mind. So when someone wants you to look at that stuff, Be man enough to walk away. They'll probably make fun of you. But you tell them you're not going to drink that toilet water. You're smarter than that. Yeah, it'll quench your thirst. Yeah, we were made. We have cravings. Don't drink that water. It's what it is. By the way, all those ladies? Somebody's daughter. Somebody's sister. Somebody's son. All of them. Nearly. Bondage. Poverty. Sexual disease. It's horrible. It's fantasy. It doesn't even reflect reality. What's going on after the vision? It's horrible. It's toilet water. It's toilet water. I invite the praise team back to the platform. We have one final song. Thank you for going down this little journey with me here. And I hope that, like I said, if we as a pastoral team can help anybody with this, please don't hide. You won't be the first, you won't be the last. And it is, as one author wrote, everyone's battle. Sexual sin is strong and addictive. Let's pray together. Father, thank you for your love and mercy and grace. Pray that this would be helpful this morning, but I pray mostly that we would have learned more about you, about the cross, about how to grow spiritually as well. And Father, thank you. The things I've said about you today that are so true, that you are truth and loving and can be trusted, and you're the best lover there is. Never worried about yourself, but always seeking to pour out your blessings into our lives. Help us to live lives that Seek true righteousness and holiness. In Jesus' name, Amen.