All right, we're continuing our study of the Fifth Commandment, specifically with application to husbands. There should be three pages, three, four, and five at the bottom of the page, applications or application to husbands, page three, page four, and page five, which we'll consider this evening. And just as a brief reminder of what we looked at last week, We looked at the duties of a husband. The first application, know the duties your wife owes to you. Now, we could also talk about the sins forbidden to the wife, but we just dealt with the duties and I think within that we covered more or less the sins forbidden. So we're not going to deal with all of the rest of it. But the second application to husbands, know the duties you owe to your wife. So it's not merely that there is a duty in one direction, it's that God requires duties in both directions. So last week we looked at knowing the duties your wife owes to you, respect in heart, word, and behavior toward her husband, prayer and thanksgiving for her husband, imitation of her husband's virtues and graces, willing obedience to her husband's lawful commands and counsels, due submission to her husband's corrections, fidelity to, defense, and maintenance of her husband's person and authority, bearing with her husband's infirmities, covering her husband's infirmities in love and being an honor to her husband and to his government. So now, what does a husband owe to his wife? What is the reciprocal duty that as a superior, it's not optional, it's mandatory. He must do these things. He's required by God to do so. First is to love your wife. This is the duty a husband owes, the basic duty of love. And you find this in the various passages of scripture that address husbands in the relation that they ought to have to their wives. We see this in Ephesians chapter 5. We also find it in the book of Colossians chapter 3. The duty of a husband is to love his wife. And this love, again, back to the paradigm of the heart, loving with the heart. Loving your neighbor as you love yourself. But this is a more particular or an increased or more direct duty of love. The general duty of love to all men is one thing, but the duty a man owes to his wife is another thing. It's an increased measure of love. that he must treat her, as Paul says, as he would treat his own body. So the mind of a husband, again back to what is the heart, it's the mind, will, and the affections. So when we think of loving, we must think of love as a function of the heart. So the thoughts that he thinks about his wife ought to be thoughts of love. The way that he remembers his wife should be with the memory of his love for her. The way that he reasons about his wife should be in a loving way. So this would include things like the oftentimes you'll find Early on in a marriage, there are lots of special memories that are made. Those things should be remembered by the husband with respect to his wife. The good things that she does, those ought to be remembered by the husband toward his wife. And the way that he reasons about her conduct, her speech, this is not different from the general duty where to think well of others or to assume the best about them. But this is especially the case with the manner in which a husband reasons about his wife and her words and her actions and her deeds. There are some things that are unmistakably evil. But there are some things in life that could be constructed in a good light or could be constructed in a bad light. And the general duty of the Ninth Commandment, which God willing we'll get to eventually, is to view what people do and say that could be taken either way, to look at it in the better part, give them the benefit of the doubt. Now this is especially true with regard to a husband as he thinks about his wife, as he evaluates, as he remembers her, as he reasons about her actions and words. He could choose to rush to the worst part, or he could choose to suspend judgment and assume the best. So that's the idea, one part of the heart. Now the other is the will. And again, these are not exhaustive lists. but just the things I'm illustrating are just meant to show where you could go with this. The will, the priorities, the choices, the things that matter to a man. So when a man prioritizes his hobbies over his wife, then he's got this extra time and extra energy And he chooses to prioritize one thing over another. This is not indicating a man can't have hobbies. Doesn't mean he shouldn't prioritize his work. But when he has lawfully free time to do one thing or another, what's the priority he gives to his wife? So his will. Where is she on the rank priority? Is it his friends? Is it his hobbies? Is it the internet? Is it the news? Or is it his wife? So this is the idea of love is not merely the thoughts but also the will. And then the other part that we tend to confuse with love and exclusively think of love as this is the affections. And affections are the movement of the soul and the mind toward particular objects. So we tend to think of love, hatred, anger, fear. These are all affections or sometimes we talk about emotions. Affections are the movement of the soul. It doesn't indicate whether they're forced out of you or whether you put them there. Emotions is always passive because it means you're moved from outside. So people tend to confuse those two, affections and emotions. You can have affections that you yourself direct, that you choose to have, which is how we're supposed to be. The mind informs the rational will, the will informs the affections, and the will chooses specific objects. Emotions ex motio. Ex means from outside and motio means to be moved. So ex motio means I'm moved from outside. I'm pressed. I'm a victim. In other words, I'm passive in emotion. Whereas affection is, well you could be moved toward an external object by external compulsion or force, or you could choose what the object will be. So it's neither passive nor active when we talk about affections. When affections are ascribed to God, God is not passive at all. He's never moved by external objects. He's always moved toward external objects by his own will, by his own holiness, by his own justice, by his own decree. So God is always active. He always works, Jesus says. My father worketh until now. He's always active in what he's doing. He's never suffering. He doesn't have emotions. That's why we would say that. God has affections. He has no passions. because he's never pushed to suffer things from external forces. Okay, so back to the love for your wife. Your thoughts, your will, and your affections are to be directed toward her as the primary object that you have of human affection. So much so that Paul says that a man never hated his own flesh, right? He always takes care of himself, unless he's a lunatic. He'll look after his own body. He'll look after his own comfort. He'll look after his own safety. He nourishes himself. He informs himself. He directs himself. That's how he's supposed to think about his wife. And those are affections. the natural affection a person has for their own well-being, removed to take care of themselves, that's exactly how a husband is directed by God to think about and act toward his wife. And this is love, the mind, the will, the affections. So a husband is commanded to love his wife and the mind, will and the affections produce actions, words. So those things that happen inside in the inner man are to produce specific conduct and thoughts and words toward his wife. And these are actions of love. Now, Again, in a romantic framework, as the Western civilization has been corrupted to be, the notion of love is always emotional. So if a man gets married, it's because he feels emotions for a woman. And then if he wants to get a divorce, why is that? Well, I don't love her anymore. So what does he mean by that? My feelings aren't the same as they once were. Or if they say, I never loved her, I never felt, you never made me feel good. That's what they're saying. So it's all about me. That's what emotional love is all about. It's all about me. The affections are directed toward an external object. So if it's a rational love, if it's a volitional love, it's a love of affections, then it's moved toward the good of that object, of the beloved. And the beloved is loved according to a specific standard that God himself set. which is why the apostle says love is the fulfilling of the law. Love does its neighbor no harm because love is the fulfilling of the law. So in this context, what does the law of God require of a husband toward his wife? The basic duty is love. Now, some of the other things we're gonna look at in this context are like expositions of what does it mean to love your wife? But that's the general duty under which the rest reside. Love is the fulfilling of the law. Then the particulars. Well, how does a man love his wife? Here's one. To pray for your wife. So again, this is a duty that superiors owe to their inferiors in general, but especially if she is the prime object of your love. then she ought to be the prime object of your prayers. And that's convicting if you think about it as a husband. Again, it's not that she trumps God or she trumps the Lord's prayer, but when you're choosing which people in my life am I going to pray for, who should be the first one? Your wife. She should be at the top of the list. Okay, and this is also true of children. You know, they're number two on the list. First is the wife, second is the children. So, if you have children, you ought to be praying for them as well, but especially your wife. Praying for what? Well, of course, love seeks the benefit and the good of the beloved. So what is for my wife's good? What is for her benefit? Those are the things that should be prayed for. So ultimately, that is her salvation. If your wife is not a believer, that's priority number one is to pray for that. And if she is a believer. And what are the priorities that God sets for her? And it's clear. That's why we talked about knowing the duties that God requires of your wife, not merely to have a standard by which to teach or to correct, but a standard by which to pray. What does God require of my wife? Let me pray that God will enable her, by His grace, to fulfill those duties that she owes to me, that she owes to our children, that she owes to her parents, to the community at large, to the body of Christ, praying that she would be filled with the knowledge of God, like Paul prays for the Ephesians, that they would be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the height and the breadth and the depth and to know the love of Christ which passeth knowledge. Paul says he bows his knee for the Ephesians to that end. So also, a husband should pray for his wife, that she know those things. And to that end, what are the means of grace at her disposal? As she reads the scripture. as there's family worship, as there's public ordinances of preaching and the sacrament of the Lord's body and blood, and as she has received the sign of God's covenant and baptism, all of those are things to pray for her to advance and to grow in so that she may flourish in her faith and in her holiness. And so that she may be like a mother in Israel who can be a blessing to many and be doing good to the broader community of the saints and also to the broader culture and civilization you're part of, including and especially her children and her husband. So if you think about reading through the scripture yourself as a husband and you notice this is what God requires of my wife. You can immediately in private prayer or private worship, you can turn that into a prayer request. God help my wife to love her husband, love her children, be a keeper at home. You know, it's just real brief, real quick, but there it is. You're reading in the scriptures. You see what God requires. Generally of all believers, you can pray that as well, but there are specific things God says uniquely to women and praying those things for your wife. Okay, blessing your wife. Eulogia is the Greek verb, and it means to speak well. And usually it's direct address, speaking well to someone directly to them. It's wishing or calling down from a superior to an inferior, that God would bless this person, that God would give them, not just in the praying to God, but in speaking to the person, words of blessing, that the Lord would prosper your wife, that he would do good to her. And this idea of blessing can also include what we'll look at in a little bit, the idea of countenancing or encouraging good. But this is a little step up from that because it's using your office as a superior to speak words of blessing into her life. So this is the idea. And also the actions can be a blessing or a curse. The action of a husband toward his wife, like our Lord talked about cursing your parents. Well, what was the context in Matthew 15? It was taking care of them in their old age and infirmity. That was blessing. would be to take care of them. Cursing would be, I'm not looking after you in your old age. So transfer that over. What does it mean to bless your wife? Look after her, take care of her. Look after her needs, look after her interests, provide for her those things that are needful for the body and for the soul. So again, not just words, but also deeds can be a source of blessing to your wife. The fourth duty, not just love as the general category, not just prayer as a particular, not just blessing as a particular, but instruction. And again, this has to do with the usage of the tongue. correlated with the usage of the means of grace, instructing your wife. This can be done by a husband, and it can also be facilitated by a husband. If you guys remember when we were reading about Elijah, he was told that his job was to anoint Hazael, to anoint Elisha and to anoint Jehu. And you'll remember, there's no record that he anointed any of them with oil. The literal action was not done by him. But he facilitated for Elisha by taking order that Elisha would tell Jehu about it. or Hazael. And then as far as anointing Elisha, it appears that he did something symbolically to anoint him, which was the casting of his mantle upon him. But in the other two cases, it's very clear there's no record in scripture that he ever anointed those two to be king of the Syrians or of the Israelites. So instruction can include seeing to your wife being instructed, especially God has institutionalized this. There are teachers ordained in the church, both in the office and in God's providence, particular persons put in place to do that very thing. See to it that your wife is instructed by lawful ministers who can build them up with knowledge. But this also includes what Paul talks about, If the wives have any questions, it's not permitted to them to speak in the church. So, at home, the husband is to answer his wife's questions. He's to instruct her. And that's more of responding to particulars, but there's also the duty of family worship, in which a husband, as the head of his household, is to instruct his wife and build her up with the knowledge of God, and to see to it that she is also reading the Word of God so that she can even instruct herself. So there's family worship, there's occasional answering of questions, there's her private worship, and there's the public ordinances where she receives instruction publicly. And all of these are the duty that a husband owes to his wife. So the general duty of love, the particular duties of prayer, blessing, and instruction, and then in the fifth place, to counsel and admonish your wife. If you do not know how to counsel your wife, it would be good to learn. There are good materials available. There's one book that we use in our denomination to train pastors and elders, and that is Competent to Counsel by J. Adams. It's just a basic introduction of what the Bible says about counseling. And then how does a person go about counseling his fellow man? Well, can you counsel your wife? Can you hear her troubles, her sorrows, and then help to direct her mind and her thoughts and her will and her affections and her words and her actions in a way that's pleasing to God. So the general counsel would be positive, building her up in the knowledge of her duty. The responsive counsel would be, here's this problem, how do we deal with this? How do we address this? What's the right way? And this is the impartation of wisdom, counsel and wisdom, imparting of these things so that she may know what is it that God requires of her? How should she respond to this person or this situation? And then an admonition, as opposed to a counsel, is to warn. And the idea of admonition is J. Adams' Competent to Counsel. His theory of counseling is called euthetic counseling. Eutheo means to put something in a person's mind by way of warning. That's what the word admonition means. means to put into the mind of a person, to give them a warning beforehand about this is where this path leads, this conduct, these choices, these words, they lead to this thing. That's the idea of admonition. And within the ecclesiastical discipline, you'll remember that pastors and elders are told to admonish those under their care. And you'll see that when I'll do exhortations in the readings or sermons, often there'll be a warning. Don't do this. Avoid this. Because scripture gives that, right? Scripture is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, which includes admonishing. Be warned about this. Don't follow this pathway. If you do, it leads to these conclusions. That's admonition. So a husband ought to be doing that. Not merely counseling, but also warning his wife, giving her wisdom, and wisdom that sometimes has to be negative. Bad consequences for bad actions, that's admonition. This is a bad action, don't do this, or it leads to this consequence, and God threatens that consequence, so you ought to avoid the action, or the word, or the thought, or whatever it happens to be. Alright, page four of your handouts. Number six, again, duties you owe to your wife, to countenance your wife when she does well. Now this is related to the idea of blessing, as is the next one, and maybe the one after that. But the idea here is to demonstrate with physical gestures and words that you approve of what has been done well. It is much easier to disapprove when someone does evil for most of us, because we tend to be fault-finding and self-righteous. So it's much easier to come down on people when they've done evil. But God requires that when people do well, especially those under your authority, that you ought to countenance them. So if your duty generally is to countenance all your inferiors, and your duty of love is greater toward your wife, then of course it logically follows that the countenance you show to her should be greater. the approval you show for her doing well should be greater and more extensive than the approval that you show to your children, for example. This is a sore spot in many marriages, is that sometimes a husband will show his approval to, I mean, there's a hierarchy, right? Wife, children, and then others. So often a dad or a husband is approving of people outside of the family very vocally. What about those in his family? Does he ever approve of them when they do good? Sometimes no, actually. Sometimes people become very bitter because of this. Children and wives become very bitter because it's like, if you're out here approving of everybody else, you never say anything good about what we do. And that can breed, and actually logically leads to bitterness, because then it's like, well, you're a hypocrite. You want other people to think well of you because you approve of them, but what about us? We do things that are worthy of approval occasionally. It's not like we're not sinners, but there are things people do that are worthy of approval, and you never do that for us, but you're so quick to do it for other people. It's like the dad who won't provide for his own family, and he gives everybody in the neighborhood gifts, or whatever. All the neighborhood kids, they get candy, but his own kids, what do they get? Nothing. So, the idea of countenance in your wife is recognizing there is a hierarchy of those that you ought to be approving of, and your wife should be at the top of that. She ought to be the one who hears your praise more than anybody else. And then your children after her, and then the community around you after that. Now, again, this is not to say there aren't exceptions to the rule. You have a wicked wife who's a continual dripping, as Solomon says. He says he'd rather live on the rooftop all the way on the other side of the house than be in the house with her, right? So there are exceptions to the rule. This isn't like Pollyanna. Let's pretend like every wife is super awesome when they're not. Some wives are wicked. So you have to recognize, realistically, there may be an exception to this rule. But this is the basic rule. We don't live by exceptions. We live by rules. And then we recognize that there may be exceptions. So countenancing your wife when she does well, that's the context. But if you're a fault-finding sort of person, you may not realize there are things she does well. And so you'll overlook it, and you shouldn't. That's sinful. All right, and then not just countenancing, but also number seven, commending. That is where you, to her or to others, demonstrate your approval with words. I approve of this good thing that you've done. And again, back to the countenancing, same idea. There has to be a hierarchy of the wife receiving the heaviest commendations that you have to give, children secondary, everybody else trailing behind. So commendation, speaking words of approval when good things are done. And again, back to biblical ethics, God blesses and he curses, God commends and he condemns. So the husband in this case, or the father toward the children, he's to reflect what God does. He's to imitate what God does. So if God blesses in words, so should he, should imitate God. If God shows his approval for those who do what is good, so should he, in imitation of God. Which leads to number eight, reward your wife when she does well. Show her in tangible, real ways, specific, tangible ways, I approve of you. And sometimes this can be for some, it's different for different women, but most women like flowers. We're talking about that recently. I don't give as many flowers as I used to. That's a sin on my part. Reward your wife when she does well. Some women like jewelry, some like sweets, some like other things. Understanding your wife and knowing what is the reward that would mean something to her, that's an important feature in the authority structure of a family rewarding your wife when she does well and Then number nine on the negative side is to discontinence your wife when she does evil So this again, this countenance, the face, the eyes, that's usually when the Bible talks about the countenance. It's usually the eyes or the face. But it can include gestures as well. It can include body language as we call it. You know, someone who shrugs their shoulders and kind of brings them up. Well, that tends to say, I'm upset about what's going on here. Their face is flush red. What do you think? Are you real happy? You'd think that person's TO'd, like they're real mad. and then the furrowing of the brow. That's disapproval. Some people have a natural look on their face that tends to be nasty. That's not what we're talking about. You can tell. People can adjust to what's the natural nasty face this person makes and when they disapprove. There are very few people you can't tell the difference. But there are some, I suppose. There are exceptions to the rule. But most everybody, you can tell by their face, does this person approve Do they think I'm retarded? Are they upset? Just by looking at their face, you can often tell, at least have a general idea, what is the status of this person? So a face and eyes, they can countenance or discountenance. It's important in this regard to distinguish the two. This is a mistake some people make, is they'll countenance by their gestures. While their words say one thing, their gestures say something else. Oh, Jimmy, don't do that. And then they laugh about it. Just poke your sister in the eye. The word says, don't poke your sister in the eye. And the gesture says, I approve of that. What are you saying to your child in that case? So you want your countenance to be consistent with what God discountenances or countenances. What does he approve of? What does he disapprove of? When your wife does evil, don't approve of it. Don't demonstrate approval by the look on your face or the gestures that you make or the words that you speak. Which brings us to reprove, number 10. Reprove your wife when she does evil. Now, reproofs hurt, actually. That's the prohibition to Timothy with regard to older men, is he's not to issue corrections to him that hurt, but not to be biting or forceful. Because reproof hurts. It's shaming someone, you might say. And again, it's appropriate sometimes. People think in our day, well, you're hurting people's feelings. Yeah, we live in a fallen world. We don't worship people's feelings. Now, let me rephrase that. We shouldn't worship people's feelings. But in our society, you know, what happens is that people's feelings are worshipped. as if they have a divine right to feel that way. I feel like I'm a cat. Well, you're not, and that's stupid. That needs to be reproved. If you're a human, you're not a cat. I don't care what you feel about it. It's retarded. It's ridiculous. It's unnatural. It's contrary to all observable phenomena. So it doesn't matter if you feel like something you're not. You see, that's a reproof, right? That hurts. If a person were to receive that, it's supposed to hurt. because it's reproving something that is absurd, ridiculous, or evil. In this case, there are times to reprove. There can't be Mr. Nice Guy in the household at all times, unless your wife is sinless, which is the other problem in a worshipping the feelings psychological environment is women are elevated to goddesses that you can never blaspheme and speak against. I've observed this firsthand. Don't say anything bad about the woman. But the man will crush him with his sins. Pastors and elders do this. Will crush the man for his sins. What about the woman? When are you going to deal with her sins? Oh, we'll excommunicate the guy first, then we'll get to her. Do they ever get to her? No, they don't actually. Because she's presumed to be floating on air angel, and he's presumed to be a demon. And so they never deal with it justly. But even husbands have to reprove their wives at times. So, should pastors reprove women from the pulpit? Yeah, the scriptures say it. That's their duty and they're not doing it. Or if there's a potential that they could be tempted not to, admonish them about it. But if there's an observable sin that's pointed out in scripture that women commit, they should be reproved. So that they don't commit it if they're not committing it. Or if they are committing it, they can repent. But pastors have been trained to worship the feeling of women, and women tend to be more emotional creatures. So if feelings are to be worshiped, guess who's on the top of the deity chain in that pagan concept? Women are always on the top. So it's not appropriate. There are times to reprove. There's a time for every purpose under heaven. Okay, so the duty of love. The duty of prayer, blessing, instruction, counsel, and admonition. Countenancing your wife when she does well, commending her, rewarding her when she does well. Discountenancing your wife when she does evil, reproving her when she does evil. And then on page five, we'll run through these last four. Number 11, to protect your wife. This is a duty a man owes to his wife. Again, whether he does it himself directly or sees to it. If a man has the means to provide a more safe place for his wife, And he says, well, I'm going to save some money. We're going to move to a shanty town in San Francisco because we can save money that way. We could live in a tent next to the crackheads and all these people. Well, we could save money. What's the big deal? Calm down. I'm just looking after our finances. Well, you have a duty to protect your wife. That's an extreme example. But you get the idea. If you have the ability to protect your wife in a more significant way and you say, yeah, but my money is more important. What are you saying? I hate my wife because the general duty of love is one specific way is to protect her from harm. to protect her from crime to protect her from heresy to protect her from false voices that speak into her life that tell her you're a goddess and your feelings should be worshipped and everybody should sniff you and say that you smell like roses or something that's that's unsavory but it's out there in the church i can assure you there are plenty of voices who want to tell women you're a goddess they're not going to say those words They're going to use Christianese words that tell her she's a goddess and she has no sins and she doesn't need to repent because, after all, it's all her husband's fault. There are voices that tell women, assure them, in the most pious language possible, they have no sins to repent of. You have to protect your wife from that. So there are all sorts of dangers in life. There are dangers physical, spiritual, emotional, mental, etc. Peter talks about dwelling with your wife in an understanding way, according to knowledge, giving honor under her as a weaker vessel. That means protecting her. That means keeping her from you sometimes, because you might be tempted to conceive of her as another one of the bros and to push her as if she could handle what you can handle. That's not protecting your wife. That's not recognizing that she can't actually, maybe emotionally, maybe physically, maybe mentally, she can't put up with what I can put up with. But if I expect her to keep pace with me, and I'm ready to go to war and kill, well is she made for going to war and killing? No, so part of protecting her is recognizing there's a time that I might have to go off to war and kill. And that's true literally, but also figuratively. There are times that men have to be ready to go off and kill. And you see this in the Bible all over the place. Play the man, Joab says, for who? people at home, cities of our God, where our wives are, they stay here, we go out and fight. And so there's a recognition even within the scriptures that there's a general duty of men to protect women, but this is a specific heightened duty toward his specific wife, to protect her in particular. And this, of course, is related to number 12, to provide for your wife and all things necessary for soul and body, not just to ward off the wolves, but to feed your wife, to give her those things that she needs to live, nourish and cherish. That's what Ephesians 5 says. Nourishing is literally feeding. That's what that means. And cherishing means you keep someone warm. so that they don't go cold and get sick and die. So it's the preservation, the necessities of life. Solomon says a man should go out and prepare his field first and then prepare his house. So provide a means by which you can sustain a household, in other words. That's the natural order. Can you provide? This is a question for dads. You know, if you've got a daughter, a guy comes along, Question number one, does he know the Lord? She's a Christian, she can't marry outside of the faith. Question number two, can he provide for her? All things necessary for body, and soul. Soul first, body second. Does he have the capacity to communicate and to instruct this girl who will be his wife and she'll be the woman in the house? Can he instruct her? Can he guide her? Can he counsel her? Can he admonish her? He might be Mr. Nice Guy. You know what that means he can't do if he's Mr. Nice Guy? He can't actually rebuke her when she needs it. So if he comes along, Mr. Nice Guy, and there's no hard side to him, guess what sort of husband he's going to make? One that can't be respected. So it's going to lower her esteem for him if they're married. And then if he needs to reprove her, what's he going to do? He's just going to let her be. He's just going to let her walk all over him because he doesn't know how to reprove. So again, Back to the illustration of a husband and a wife, what is necessary for her soul? What is good for her spiritual well-being? What is necessary for her body? Those are the things that must be provided, not just protecting from the dangers, but also building up and feeding in the actual requirements of the spiritual and the physical life. OK, and then number 13. Now we're not talking about so much duties toward her directly, but indirectly. To carry yourself with gravity, wisdom, and holiness as her example, so as to procure glory to God and honor to yourself. All right, so here, again, this is an indirect means of obeying what God requires of you toward your wife, because it's directed primarily toward yourself. How do you carry yourself? How do you govern yourself? How do you conduct yourself? Gravity means that you're not a light person, flitting about with no grounding. Carried away by zeal without knowledge, or by ignorance itself, or by your emotional fancies, or by the latest whatever fad that pops along in doctrine or culture or whatever. That's lacking in gravity. Gravity means you're a little more heavy than your person. You're not as easily moved. And this, again, if you look at the virtues and vices, gravity can go to excess by a person being too tenacious and not being willing to be taught, for example. So you can be so heavy nobody can move you. Sometimes you need to be moved. So gravity can go to an excess. Anyways, gravity is a basic virtue that requires you to have some weightiness about your character and your conduct and your words. Wisdom Do you know what means lead to what ends? Do you understand what God requires of you and the duty he imposes on your inferiors? Do you understand the relative priority of the duties that God requires of you and of those under your authority? Do you know how to avoid Satan's pitfalls where he'll offer you a ditch on this side of God's path or the ditch on the opposite side of God's path but wisdom says I ought to be on God's path. That's extremely important. I was talking to somebody recently about the idea of feminism and the idea of patriarchy and the Bible presents things that honor women which the feminist pushes to an excess and says, kind of like what I was saying earlier, women are infallible and they ought to be worshipped and they ought to rule, they ought to dominate and be the equal of men in society. Well, no, that's not true. Should women be honoured? Yeah, and that means to place a premium or a high price on her. That's literally what Peter says. Okay, so here's one ditch is feminism. Now, patriarchy just means that the man rules, the father rules his household. That's fine so far as it goes. But some people idealize it and don't take it in the biblical context, and they push it way too far over here. And what they'll say is, for example, here's an extreme patriarchy position. I am the head of my household, therefore no ecclesiastical authority can teach my inferiors." Is that what the Bible says? No, absolutely not. The Bible says that the whole congregation is under the authority of the elders, teachers and elders ordained by Christ. So the extreme patriarch says, my family is only under my authority, nobody else is going to teach my family. No, that's not biblical. But Satan presents it, just like Satan presents feminism. Women should be looked after. Yeah, that's true. So let's extreme that and turn it into an ideal. No, that's not true. Men should be honored and respected in their households. Yes, that's true. Therefore, there is no authority over them. No, that's not true. So both of those would be extreme positions. Wisdom says, I can direct between the extremes that Satan sets. I know that the means lead to that end. I know the relative rank and priority, so that the tithing of mint and anise and cumin is down here, and justice, mercy, and the love of God are up here. And that I give this the emphasis that God says, and this the emphasis that he says. I ought to do both, but never one to the exclusion of the other. That's wisdom. And then holiness, of course, is being purely devoted to God, being consecrated to Him, growing in holiness and sanctification, more and more devoted to God over time, growing in grace. All of that brings glory to God and honor to himself. And then finally, just to wrap this up, number 14, to preserve the authority which God has put upon you. This is the duty of a husband. You must not behave yourself, speak, think, prioritize, plan, act. You must not do things to waste away your authority. Now, your authority exists because of your office, but what this is talking about is how you conduct yourself in your office either tends to lend credence to your office or it undermines your office. A foolish husband is still a husband. Still has rights. Wife still owes him duties. Fine. Absolutely true. And in counseling a wife, she needs to recognize that. He's still your husband, even if he's a fool husband. But when the husband is being counseled, he has to understand you're supposed to be preserving your office. Your conduct in your office as husband should be with a goal, one of the goals, that I don't do anything to undermine my authority. Now, indiscretion, foolishness, levity in your office, hypocrisy, all those serve to undercut the authority that a husband has. So this is saying, and this is what scripture teaches, is that a husband has to behave himself, think, act, plan, etc. in such a way that his authority doesn't get eroded by the foolish things that he says or does. You must act to preserve the authority. Why? Because God put it upon you. You're reflecting God's image. What sort of representation do you make toward your wife? Well, it ought to be the sort that preserves as opposed to undermines. And with that, we'll conclude.