Father God, as challenging as it may be, we do come with thankfulness. We come with thankfulness for Christ Jesus. We come with thankfulness for Your mercy that is much greater than our sin. Father, we come with thankfulness Your gift of Ryan in our lives. You are a great God. And we love you. Be in Christ's name. Amen. I have a title of the sermon that you all can't see. How are we to process this? How are we to process this? How are we to go forward? There's so many thoughts. I've talked to many of you. Stephanie, I talked this morning, talked to Jeff and Brother Cal on the way home last night, talked to my wife, talked to many of you, talked to my own children, talked to many of you, and just so many thoughts and questions that come through our mind. I want us to consider some of those thoughts and those questions this morning. One of those thoughts I've heard is, I'm angry at God. I'm angry at God. How could God let this happen? Now, we all know, brothers and sisters, those who are in the Lord, we all know God is sovereign. And we all know there's not one random molecule in all the universe. And yet here we sit today. And so we say, God, why did you do this? Why did you have this to happen? And some are angry with God. I want to remind you, whether you know Christ or don't, I want to remind you that God is good all the time. And God is perfectly wise in everything He does. And that doesn't make sense, does it? But He is. And for me, instead of being angry at God, I praise and I thank Him for the time that I got to have the gift of Ryan in my life. I will praise and thank Him. I won't be angry with God. I'll thank God. Because it's another kindness in my life that he afforded me from my perspective for far too brief a time. But God is good. And I want you to know that if you go and stand before God, angry with Him, that will not go well for you. Another similar thing that I've heard lots. I'm really angry with Ryan. I want you to know it's very natural. And actually, it's fairly understandable. His actions were the epitome of selfishness and hurtfulness. Suicide is the most self-centered thing that anyone could ever do. There's nothing more self-centered. But if you're angry with Ryan, you're making it about you. As if He did something to you. Don't make personal. What Ryan has done, he didn't do to you. He did it toward God. Not toward you. Psalm 37 8. See, this natural reaction we have, it's natural. We talked about it last night. I talked about it with my wife. We get angry. Psalm 37 8, refrain from anger and forsake wrath. Fret not yourself, it tends only to evil. Being angry with God or angry with Ryan, it only tends toward evil. James 1 20, for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. Your anger towards Ryan will not produce any righteousness in you or anyone else around you. Ecclesiastes 7 9 be not quick in your spirit to become angry for angry lodges in the heart of fools If anger is lodging in your heart towards Ryan You're being foolish Be angry and do not sin let do not let the Sun go down in your anger Before you go to bed tonight forgive Ryan I And if you need to tomorrow night before you go to bed, forgive Ryan. It will produce nothing good in you. It was in person. I don't know what was on his mind. but I know it wasn't you or me or you. Something else that I've heard that I want to consider is I'm going to miss him. That's okay because I'm going to miss him too. Nothing wrong with missing Him. You can miss Him and trust in the Lord at the same time. Don't feel guilty if you miss Him, and don't feel guilty if you don't miss Him. The question that I've heard probably more than any is something around how, why, How can this happen? Our heads spin and we can't know why, and we want to try to figure it out. And we can speculate all we want, but we will never know why. We do know this. We do know that God is and will be and was glorified. For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." We all will do it, so it's not as if I'm rebuking you for thinking how and why, but I am reproving us all to tell us it's a wasted exercise. It's a wasted exercise that will probably bring you grief and pain, and more chasing after the why and the how. I don't know why and how. I do know that we've been preaching through the book of Luke, And recently we've been talking about things that are in the dark will not stay in the dark. They will come to light. And I know that's been really challenging for some of us. And I don't know, I don't know of any thing that was taking place in Ryan's life, but I'm confident that there were things that he wasn't confessing that he couldn't deal with. Here's what I know. I know this. I know that if you know of God, okay, if you know of God, everybody in here, I know you all except for this couple I don't know, but I know we all know of God. We know of God quite well in this room. And we know what His Word teaches. And He will either crush you or will bring you joy. The Word of God will either crush you or will bring you joy. I know that. And I don't know of any particular sin in Ryan's life. I know of past struggles with sin. And I know that the Word of God will crush you or bring you joy. And I want to tell everyone in here who's a member of this church, a confessing Christian, if the Word of God is crushing you, confess. Repent. Let the Word of God cut you and change you. Confess and repent. There's something else that most of us at some level, most of us that were members here in Ryan's family, we're going to have some sense of guilt. Another way I've heard that from a few of you is, I should have known. How would you know what can't be known? That's like saying you know what I'm going to do next Thursday. You don't know what I'm going to do next Thursday. I don't know what I'm going to do next Thursday. I got plans for next Thursday. I don't know if it'll happen. So you feel guilty because you didn't know. I should have seen the signs. I should have done something. Listen, we can take comfort in this. I want us to be comforted by this, and it may be challenging for some, but I take great comfort in this. God knows the day and the hour I'm going to die, and you can do nothing about it. And I can do nothing about it. So, for anyone to feel guilty, like they should have done something about it, you're playing God. There's nothing we can do about it. So, so don't live with guilt of you should have known or you should have done something different. It's my fault if only I were a better pastor. If only, this is, this is the things I, I, I fight with. If only I were a better pastor. I mean, if I don't go to Florida, he's alive. It's not true. If only I was a better wife. If only I was a better child. If only I was a better brother or sister. If only I was a better friend. That guilt will crush you. You did not do this. It's not your fault. Could I have been a better pastor? Of course I could have. And by the grace of God, I will be. Could Stephanie been a better wife? Absolutely she could have been. Could his children could have been a better children? Could Tony, could you been a better brother? Of course you could have. But it's not your fault. And if it hasn't crept in, it will creep in. It's not true. That guilt, that guilt, brothers and sisters, for Christians, the guilt that's wanting to be heaped upon you is of the devil. That's not of the Lord. That's not guilt put on you by the Lord. There is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus. So you're not guilty. It's not your fault. You couldn't have known. Being a better whatever wouldn't have solved the problem. But I can tell you that a day like today, It can help us. It can help me to humble myself that I would be a more faithful pastor. That I would be a more faithful brother. You couldn't have known. You couldn't have stopped it. And it's not your fault. God knew, and Ryan knew. And that's all. Something else that I think we think about, is life just going to go on as normal? Are we just going to go back to our day-by-day lives Yes. Yes, and it's okay. It's okay if you sleep well tonight. It's okay if you don't sleep well tonight. It's okay if you grieve for months. Probably okay. It's okay if you grieve for an hour. Life does go on. We live day by day, hour by hour, and we need Jesus every hour, don't we? We sing about that. I need Thee every hour. But life goes on. Men, you have jobs you work. Women, you have families you care for. Stephanie, you have children to care for. And we will walk through this together, and it will be abnormal in many ways, but the normal life does continue, and that's okay. That's God's grace in our lives that allows us to just move on. Step-by-step, minute-by-minute, hour-by-hour, day-by-day, that's what we have to do. And again, you can get these thoughts or these And Sister Stephanie, you're going to, I think you're going to struggle with these thoughts, and many of us are going to struggle with these thoughts of, well, I've got to grieve properly. I've got to do it the right way. I got to, I got to react correctly. Sister Stephanie was telling me when the police came, and she was like second-guessing her reaction, like, here's my reaction, what it's supposed to be. Your reaction is going to be whatever your reaction is going to be, and it's okay. Life, life goes on for us. No guilt. Couldn't have seen it coming. Couldn't have done anything. It wasn't your fault because you weren't a good enough whatever. It's natural to be angry with Ryan, but you need to forgive him. We're going to miss him. So am I. The how and the why is too high for us to know. Ryan Peterson took his life on October the 14th. That's what I know. How? Why? I don't know. There's something else that we have to be careful about spending too much time on. Any time on, quite frankly. Any time. What happened to Ryan's soul? We have a tendency to want to play God. Either in the affirmative or in the negative. We either want to pronounce Him into heaven or we want to pronounce Him into hell. And if we do that, we're simply playing God. Arguing dogmatically as if you know you're placing yourself in the place of God We can't we can't know Here's what I do know. Here's what I know as sure as I'm standing If Ryan Peterson has his faith and trust had his faith and trust in Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of his sins. I And he's in glory. And I know that every sin, past, present, and future, was paid for at the cross and atoned for. I know that as sure as I'm standing here, that if that is true of Ryan, then that's where he is. And I know that's true of everyone in this room as well. I know that if Ryan's hope was in Christ, that his sins were atoned for. Now, I also know that Ryan's actions weren't consistent with those of a Christian. But neither are yours and mine all the time. But I do not want, this is difficult for me, okay, but I need us to understand something. I do not want us to think for one second that taking a life is something we should expect to be able to do and be in glory with God. Don't suppose on God that way. You get in a dark place. You have sin that's weighing you down. Confess it. Repent. Cling to Christ. I know that in the action that took place, there was no hope. Ryan was not exhibiting hope. He wasn't focused on the goodness of God. I know that unconfessed sin is a weight we can't carry. I really want you to hear me about that. It's where we've been in Luke, and it's where we need to understand that you carry around unconfessed sin, Christian. It will crush you, and when you confess it, there's freedom. And we don't know where Ryan is. But we do know this. We do know he bowed his knee to Jesus as Lord. And we do know that he saw the power Reality of who God is and we do know that God was glorified And Because we have hope brothers and sisters because we don't live with people that hope we hope And the sense of we don't know hope as opposed to the sense of the hope that we have in Christ that sure I In the sense of we don't know hope, but we hope. The thought of Ryan being anywhere but glorious is more than I can deal with. It really is. And I don't have to deal with it. And you don't have to deal with it. Listen, this is really true. You will find yourselves, I've already seen it, just in these couple of days, you will find yourselves arguing with yourself or with somebody else. And you will come down with a verdict. Don't. And don't waste your time. All of the chatter and banter will change nothing. Make sure you're right with Christ. That's what you ought to do. Make sure you know where your soul is headed. That's what this occasion ought to have you to do. Professing Christian, don't live under the weight of sin. I don't have all of the answers for myself or for you. But I do have God's Word. I do have Christ as my Lord and Savior. I do have the Spirit living in me. And I do have an unwavering knowledge that God is sovereign God is good, He is perfectly wise, and I can trust Him. Can you? Do you? Will you? How do we process this? I don't know. You're going to get the thoughts you're going to get, but I would spend the processing time, I would keep that to a minimum. Don't forget what's behind, and I would press on towards the goal of the heavenward call on Christ Jesus. Now, I'm not suggesting you'll forget Ryan. I mean, every time I sous vide, I'll remember Ryan. I'm sure of it. And I will, and I'm sure, I don't know for how long, but I know that will bring something in me that will be difficult for me to deal with. And I will quickly want to go to, why didn't I know? And why didn't I do something? And why did I go to Florida? And why was I better pastor? And why did we miss our last meeting? And all those things. And it will do me no good. And I'm pretty sure, much to my shame, I'll wake up sometime and I'll be angry at Ryan. And I'll forgive him before I go to bed. And I... Look, I will want to know things I don't need to know. Protect your own self from knowing things you don't need to know. Don't ask those questions that you really don't want the answer to. I suppose, in some ways, I actually have to confess I'm a little bit premature. Because an autopsy hasn't been done, and it has not been pronounced as suicide. But I believe that to be the case from everything I know, and that's how I will proceed. But I don't need to know anything else about that. It will only cause me grief. It will only want me to question why and how and feel guilty. Here's my closing thought. Brothers and sisters, cling to Christ. Don't just hear that like words. Like, hear that as a charge. Cling to Christ. Confess your sins to the Lord. Repent of your sins. Cling to the hope that you have in Christ, that He's atoned for all of your sins. past, present, and future. Trust in the blood of Christ as you cling to Him. Cling to Christ for hope. I was talking to another brother here, and the last couple of weeks in his life have been really difficult. He's had a tough couple of weeks, and his mind can go to giving up. All he has to do and all he does do is remind himself of the blood of Christ, and the atonement for his sins, and the hope that he has for eternity, and that has him to press on. And so we press on in that hope. To those who have yet to confess their sins before the Lord, to repent of those sins, and believe on Christ, today is the day of salvation. Believe on Christ while you still have time. I want you to hear me really clearly, because everybody who's here knew Ryan. And you're here, some of you are here because you're here every week, some of you are here because you knew Ryan. That's why you're here. And we're here because yesterday, Ryan's temporal life ceased existing, and he went to stand before God in judgment. And you don't know. See, God knows when you're going to breathe your last. You don't know, and there's nothing you can do about it, or I can do about it. But here's the truth. Here's what you must believe. You are a sinner. And those sins you do against a holy God. The God who created you and gives you every breath that you breathe and every morsel that you eat. And this God who gave you rules to live by, you break those rules. Willingly and regularly. And what God said about that is, because you break those rules, you're going to be separated from Him for all eternity. Your judgment will be the punishment, the wrath of God, for all eternity. Nothing but His wrath and anger. And that is what you've earned with your sin against God. Look, you may tune me out, you may be listening to me, but what I'm telling you is the truth. And that no matter how hard you try you cannot make yourself right with God You can't be good enough. You can't be religious enough. You can't be Try hard enough There's nothing you can do To make yourself right with God because you sin against God and the punishment for that sin is eternal damnation and you have no hope. But God so loved the world that He sent His only Son. So what God did is He sent His Son. God the Son came and lived as a person, as a human being, just like you and me, tempted in every way and never sinned, lived a perfectly sinless life. Listen, don't check out, this is the truth. And then, He lived this perfectly sinless life. And then, at the hands of men, in the providence of God, in His eternal plan, He went to a cross to take on the wrath of man, but more importantly, the wrath of God. His life was taken as if He had sinned, who knew no sin. He was crushed for our iniquities. He was crushed He was beaten by men and separated from God the Father to pay the price for the sins of you and I if we would believe on Christ. You see, the only hope that I can have for Ryan is that he had believed on Christ. Look, Ryan was, he served us lots. Most T's and I's got crossed and dotted. That won't have him be in glory. Did he believe? Did he trust in, believe in, turn away from his sins and put his hope and trust in Jesus Christ? For those who are in today who have yet to do that, Today is the day of salvation. Believe what I'm telling you. Turn away from your sin. Let it go. And look to Christ for the forgiveness of those sins. Change your mind about eternity. Because what I'm telling you is true. We talk about this regularly. If Ryan was here, if he could speak through me, he would tell you what he's telling you is true. You must believe on Christ. It's your only hope. But I want you to know, I suppose particularly for the guests, because you're not here all the time, there is no way to be right with God except through Jesus Christ. There's no other way. You can't get there on your own. You cannot. You cannot get there through your religion. You cannot get there through your good works. Because they all fall short of the glory of God. You can only get there in and through the person of Jesus Christ. And that's the only way you can live a life filled with hope. Brothers and sisters, cling to Christ. Those who have yet to confess their sins before the Lord, repent of those sins and believe on Christ. Today is a day of salvation. Believe on Christ while you still have time. Because none of us who know the Lord can make you live any longer than you're already going to live. None of us will it be our fault if you perish and spend eternity separated from God in hell. This is something that, it's an offer that's being made to you by God. It's saying, look to the Son and live. Look to the Son and live. Stop your sinful ways. See the wretchedness of your condition. Know that you have no way to the other side and live. And brothers and sisters, for you, it's cling to that Gospel that saved you. Cling to Christ. Believe on Christ today again, brothers and sisters. Believe on Christ. Believe into Christ every day, all day. Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not on your understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths. Fear the Lord and depart from evil. This is what we do. How we are to process this. God is sovereign. God is good. Perfect in all of His ways. God is holy. We're not. Christ is our mediator. He is the way to be made right. With God, we must believe on Him. Father, thank You for I thank You for the great gift it was to know Ryan. Father, Your kindness, Your grace, Your care for us was poured out through that vessel and we are thankful. Father, we are going to miss Him. But we will not be a people that need to know how or why. We will turn away from our anger toward you and toward Ryan. We will be a people who will know that we couldn't have known, we couldn't have done anything, it wasn't our fault. We will be people that life will go on normally, our normal Christian life of worshipping you, of serving you, of loving you and loving your people. Father, we will not spend our time concerning ourselves with where Brother Ryan is. We will spend our time concerning ourselves with where we will spend eternity and those that are still able to hear our words. Help us to focus on the living and trust you with those who have passed. Because you are perfect and you are good. And you are wise in everything you do. We pray all these things in Christ's name.