Amen. Take your Bibles and open up, if you would, with me to Proverbs, Chapter 22, verse six. We're going to look at a very familiar verse this morning and answer a few questions as we continue looking at God's design and purpose for marriage. We have looked at the fact that we answer the question why we were created. We were created for fellowship for stewardship and for worship to glorify God. The other question we had answered and are in the process of answering is why were we created male and female. Why did he make men and women. The first reason we looked at was for lifetime partnership. We looked at God's purpose in marriage. Now we're looking at lineage through parenting. Last week we looked at God's purpose for children having a proper view of children as we explored Psalm 127. Part of that message when you're able to get that I'll have that in the next few weeks for you on CD. I want you to go back and listen. There was a specific point that I made in the message last week that I'm going to expand upon a little bit this week specifically. That was the point that as parents Parents are responsible to know what God is doing in the lives of their children. Parents are responsible to discern and to understand and to seek to spend time with God so that they might know what he's doing in the lives of their children, how he has gifted them, the calling that he has on their life, the talents that he's given them to be used in the kingdom of God. Too many parents today don't have a clue about what God wants to accomplish with their children. We're looking at this verse in Proverbs 22, 6. I want to start there for a specific reason, because we're going to answer a few questions about that as we parent. We know that God has a purpose for children, but what is his plan for parenting? And that's this week's message, looking at God's plan for parenting. We'll look at this in a lot more detail in the coming months as we get into Ephesians chapter six. But I just want to introduce the topic today, God's plan. for parenting and in Proverbs 22, six, it is written, train up a child in the way he should go. And when he is old, he will not depart from it. I'm going to start by debunk debunking a few more myths. You've noticed every text we've hit that has dealt with marriage and family and children. There are myths out there in most of the evangelical church today about what these verses mean simply because people don't literally, I believe they don't take the time to read the Bible nearly as much as they're taking time to read all of the psychological self-help books that are available in so-called Christian bookstores today. And we have taken the Bible and we've tried to make the Bible fit what we want to do as husbands, as wives and as parents. We can't do that. We have to be a parent like the Bible dictates. We have to be a child like the parent dictates. We have to be a family like the Bible describes it, not try to bend the Bible to fit the picture of our family and our life. This verse says, train up a child in the way he should go. And several very popular preachers have said that this means that you find out how your child is bent, what his natural abilities and inclinations are, and you encourage him and you build up his self-esteem and you help him be all that he can be. That's half true, so that means it's all wrong. When this is train up a child in the way he should go, that means you train that child in the way that the Bible says that child is supposed to go. You don't train the child the way he is naturally bent, because all of us are naturally bent to sin. If you want to investigate the life of your child and figure out how you can help them with their self-esteem and how you can help them reach their potential at being a human being, you're going to aid that child in furthering depravity. Because we are all born sinners, you don't train up a child the way they're bent. Look at the parents today who are doing that. Look at the parents who let the children do whatever they want to do, just because that's the way the child has an inclination. That's the way the child's been. That's the way the child's made. What happens when we do that? We lose our families. We lose our children. And we're losing our society as a result. He says here, train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it. There's a promise, but there's an expectation here. You train those children up, you show them the way to go. What we're going to do this morning is ask two questions. Why does a child need to be trained? And then how do we train a child in the way he should go? The promise is when he is old, he will not depart from it. Now, the other thing that this has been told to mean is that you train up a child and you take a child to church and you take a child to Bible school and you do all of these things. And even though he's going to be a rebellious teenager and get involved in all sorts of immorality and drugs and whatever else, eventually he'll come back to God and find himself when he gets older. And they try to claim this verse to say that that is not what this verse means. What this verse says specifically, when he is old, he will not depart from it. The word for old there means when he has whiskers and not a beard whiskers. Now, when does a guy have whiskers? If he's lucky, by the time he's twelve or thirteen, fifteen, some of us were a little later. Train up a child in the way he should go. And when he's old enough to have whiskers on his face, he's not going to depart from it. What does that mean? That means you teach that child from birth the way to go in the way of God. And when he is growing up and when he becomes mature, he will not depart from it. It's a promise. You train your children. from birth up. Remember, we talked about that last week. The word for children in Psalm 127 does not mean every child that's ever born is a blessing and a reward. It's a very specific word that means children who are desired, children who are rejoiced in and children who are trained properly in the ways of God. Those children are a blessing to their families and to everybody else. Children who are trained up to go however they want to go with this hope that by the time they're 70 years old, they'll come back to Jesus. That's hogwash. That's nonsense. You don't encourage depravity and hope that that will lead people to Christ. You present holiness. So train up a child in the way he should go. And as that child is growing up. He will not depart from the way that he has been taught. This really from this text is an application of what we learned last week. We learned last week about how we are to view children to effectively apply what we learned last week. We have to ask these questions. Why does a child need to be trained and how do we train a child in the way he should go? When we ask the question, why does a child need to be trained? I'll give you a few verses. One is right down there still in Proverbs 22 and verse 15. Because Proverbs 22, 15 tells us foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child and the rod of correction will drive it far from him. Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child. What is foolishness? Well, what does the psalm say? The fool has said in his heart there is no God. What does a fool really say? A fool in saying that is really declaring I am my own God. I will make my own decisions. I will do what I want to do. Who knows a child that doesn't think like that? A child wants what he wants, what he wants, because he wants it right now. The parents better give it. Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child. We're born fools. And have to be taught from the word of God and through the loving nurture of our parents. And others around us to love God, foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child in Proverbs chapter twenty nine, also verse fifteen. The writer says here. The rod and rebuke give wisdom but a child left to himself bring shame to his mother. You can't just leave a child to their own because we're born sinners. We can't lose sight of the fact that we are born depraved. We cannot lose sight of the fact As we've heard in the movies, there's no such thing as a bad boy. And all children are innocent and all people are innocent and all people are, they're good at heart, even though they might do some bad things. No, we have to understand we are born with a fallen, corrupt, sin nature and we are totally depraved. We are born sinners. We are born enemies of God. The rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child left to himself bring shame to his mother. You want to bring shame to your parents. You want your kids to shame you. Let them do whatever they want to do. And the foolishness that is bound up in their heart, if it's not driven out from them, will overcome them and will rule them for life. I want to define this term. What do we mean by total depravity? What do we mean that we are all born sinners? David even talks about it. Psalm 139 and sin. My mother conceived me. That doesn't mean that she committed an act of sin and conceiving him. It means that even in his conception, he was conceived in sin. As soon as we are a living human being at conception, we are sinners inheriting the guilt of Adam's sin, according to Romans five. Well, what do we mean when we talk about depravity? First Corinthians two fourteen. Says it this way. First Corinthians two fourteen says, but the natural man does not receive the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, nor can he know them because they are spiritually discerned. Listen to that verse again. The natural man does not receive the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, nor can he know them. Because they are spiritually discerned. Who is the natural man? The natural man is a man who is not saved, a man who has not been regenerated. He's not been convicted and brought to Christ. This is a sinner, a lost man. A lost man does not receive the things of the spirit of God. And it says it's not that he just doesn't receive their foolishness to him. The gospel is foolishness to those who are perishing, Paul tells us elsewhere. It's the fact that they don't understand the gospel. They don't understand their need for God. They have no desire to come to him because Christianity is foolishness to the lost man. The natural man doesn't receive the things of the Spirit of God, and it says, nor can he know them. He can't know them because they are spiritually discerned. If the Holy Spirit is not working to bring these things to your mind, you won't think them. We have to understand the role of the Holy Spirit in dealing with our depravity. If God left us on our own, we would never come to God. We sing the song. Oh, how I love Jesus. Oh, how I love Jesus. Why do we love him? because he first loved me. If he did not love us and come to us with his spirit so that these things could be spiritually discerned, we would not know them. We would be hopelessly lost. There's a difference between being lost and being hopelessly lost. You can be lost and have hope in Christ when the gospel is preached. But if you are not being worked on by the Holy Spirit, if he does not give you discernment to understand and he does not convict you of your sin and of your need for the Savior, you are hopelessly lost because left on our own, none of us will ever come to God. Romans, chapter eight, Paul phrases it this way to the church in Rome in Romans eight, verses seven and eight. Because the carnal mind. The lost mind, the unregenerate mind. Is enmity against God, for it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can be, can a lost man be subject to the law of God? No, that's what the Bible says, a lost man, the carnal mind is anything against God, for it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can be. We cannot expect a lost person to obey the word of God. They are incapable of doing so. It says in verse eight, so then those who are in the flesh cannot please God. When Paul uses the term in the flesh, he's talking about a lost man, someone who is not in the spirit, who's not in Christ. That person cannot please God. Writer of Hebrews said it this way, for without faith, it is impossible to please God. What is faith? We know that faith is a gift. We know it's a fruit of the spirit working in our lives. Faith comes by what? By hearing. Hearing comes where? From the word of God. If the spirit is not applying the word to give us faith, we cannot have any hope of pleasing God. We're depraved. In Romans chapter three, let me read verses 10 through 18. Romans three, 10 through 18. He says this, it is written, there is none righteous, no, not one. There is none who understands. Jesus said it this way in Matthew 19. There is one good, only one. And who did he say that was? That's God. If you're not God, you're not good. What does that say to the myth that all people have a good heart? All people are really good people. There's no such thing as a bad person. God said he was the only one who was good. So here there's none righteous. No, not one. There is none who understands. There is none who seeks after God. They've all turned aside. They have together become unprofitable. There is none who does good. No, not one. How many times does he have to say the same thing for us to get it? There's none good. It says in verse 17, the way of peace they have not known, there is no fear of God before their eyes. They don't get it because they can't get it because the Holy Spirit has to open our eyes. And verse 23, we all know this one for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Why do we need to train our children? Because we are all lost, because we are all born sinners. There's another group out there today who's wanting us to believe that we should just expect that God is going to redeem our children just because we're Christians. God does not save anybody because their parents are Christians. Christianity is not inherited by birth, it's inherited by spiritual adoption. God saves who he chooses to say and what we have to understand is that we cannot assume that our children know God we have to teach them we have to train them we have to deal with the fact that we're all born depraved sinners and need to be taught the gospel John six Verses forty four and forty five, just to sum up. The need for training because of depravity, John six, forty four and forty five, Jesus himself says, No one can come to me unless the father who sent me draws him and I will raise him up at that last day, it is written in all the prophets and they shall be all taught by God. Therefore, everyone who has heard and learned from the father. comes to me. We can't even look toward God with a desire to come to him unless he calls us. He has to call us. He has to work on us to bring these things as we talk about the conviction of the spirit. We talk about Charles Spurgeon, the story of his life, where for weeks he was under severe conviction from the Holy Spirit. And he kept going from church to church to church, trying to hear a preacher preach something that would relieve his conviction. And it only got worse until finally he walked in and heard preacher preaching about grace. and heard about Christ. And then he understood what the spirit was doing. The spirit was convicting him of his sin, bringing him to the end of himself so that he could proclaim his need for a savior. And God worked that in his life. Spurgeon said he didn't desire it and he would never have chosen it. But God chose him and called him. We have to know that God is actively calling people to repentance. And if God doesn't work on us, we're lost. We're depraved. That's why a child needs to be trained. Now for the meat of the message, how do we train up a child in the way he should go? How do we do that? And it's simple. I'm using the word train to explain it. T.R.A.I.N. We train, we restrain, we admonish, we instruct, and we nurture. We train, we restrain, we admonish, we instruct, and we nurture. Under the word train, I've titled it that we disciple our children. The word disciple means a learner, a student or an apprentice. What did the disciples in the New Testament most often refer to Jesus as? Teacher, rabbi. He was their teacher. They were the disciples. That's some kind of official term now that we use. A disciple is nothing but a student, an apprentice who's being taught. We have to understand something. You will teach your children to be just like you, either by trying or not trying. Did you hear that you will teach your children to be just like you by trying or by not trying, by trying, by instructing them, by teaching them, by discipling them, you will teach them what it means to be godly. If you're not involved in your children's life and you just do whatever you want to do and let them do whatever they want to do, you're going to teach your kids to be just like you. Matter of fact, Jesus said that a disciple would be like his teacher in Luke chapter six, verse 40. Jesus says a disciple is not above his teacher, but everyone who is perfectly trained will be like his teacher. You will be like the ones teaching you. Our goal is to work in our children's lives to teach them to be like us in as much as we are being like Christ. You know, Jesus expected the disciples to come and to be like him, didn't he? When Jesus called the disciples to understand what it means to disciple someone, what did Jesus do in Matthew four, nineteen? He said to them, follow me and I will make you fishers of men. Do a study sometime. We don't have time to go through all the verses I've referenced, but do a study sometime just in the Gospels of the number of times that Jesus uses the word follow. When he says, follow me, that means come be discipled by me, come learn from me, come be like me, come imitate me, follow after me. In Luke 923, he said it this way. If any man would come after me, let him do what? Deny himself, take up his cross daily and follow me. Follow after me. Didn't Paul say the same thing? Jesus asked the disciples to follow him. Actually, he didn't ask, he commanded. It was a command. You follow me. They left their boats and their nets and they did. Paul, pretty similarly, in Philippians chapter three, verse 17, in talking to the church in Philippi, Paul says, Brethren, join in following my example and note those who so walk. As you have us for a pattern, the pattern in the church is for us to disciple one another by being examples. We're going to teach. You're going to follow. And the good news about discipleship is that everybody is subject to it in the body. We're to disciple one another, to teach one another, to set an example for one another. Paul said, you follow my example. He said the same thing in First Thessalonians six. Turn over with me to Second Timothy, chapter three. I want to read this verse specifically. And second, Timothy 310. Paul writes to Timothy, but you have carefully followed my doctrine, manner of life, purpose, faith, long suffering, love, perseverance, persecutions, afflictions, which happened to me at Antioch, at Iconium, at Lystra, what persecutions I endured. And out of all of them, the Lord delivered me. Yes, and all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution. But I want to continue right there in verse 10. The key is in verse 10. You want to know how to disciple someone. To be disciple means to carefully follow doctrine, manner of life, purpose, faith, long suffering, love and perseverance. There's a perfect definition of discipleship. Timothy, you've carefully followed these things, you've paid note to them, you've paid attention to them and you have followed in this path doctrine. Don't be discipled by somebody who is not teaching sound doctrine. They'll lead you astray in the word of God. Manner of life. How important is it that the people who are discipling you live a holy life? Well, Peter spent two chapters in the second book that he wrote in Second Peter, telling the church how to distinguish between good teachers and false teachers. And he said the way you tell false teachers is by the way they live. They may say the right things, but how do they live? Look at their lives. You know, we have such big churches today with so many people. Nobody knows how the preacher lives because nobody knows his address or where he is. They see him up on the pulpit way down there on the big screen on Sunday and they never see him for the rest of the week. How are you supposed to disciple somebody who doesn't know you in the week? You follow a manner of life. That's why there are qualifications given in First Timothy and Titus for the life of elders in the church and the lives they're supposed to lead, because they're examples to the rest of the church. This is how you live the Christian life. That's why we're called to a higher standard if we dare try to teach the word of God, because people will follow our example. It's the same in the home. Parents, your children are going to follow your example. What kind of example will you set? He says you followed my purpose. What is your purpose? What is the chief end of man? Amen. Somebody remembers the catechism to glorify God and to enjoy him forever. And then he says, you followed my faith, my long suffering, my love, my perseverance. You've even followed persecutions and afflictions. You've seen me fight these battles. You've seen me walk by faith. You've seen me win and lose. Because you've carefully followed my example, you want to disciple your children, understand they are learners, they are students, they are sponges that are going to soak up the example that you teach. There are a couple of illustrations, by the way, of bad examples, the first I'm going to give is in second Peter, chapter two, talking about the false teachers that I just mentioned in second Peter two. Verse 14. Talking about the depravity of false teachers, he says these having eyes full of adultery that cannot cease from sin, enticing unstable souls. Here's the key right here. They have a heart trained in covetous practices and are accursed children. They have forsaken the right way and gone astray. They have their heart trained. Remember, we're talking about training children, discipling children, teaching them, training them because they're learners. What happens if their heart is trained only in sin? Then they're going to do what they've been taught how to do. And they're going to follow a bad example. Proverbs chapter 17, verse 25, says it this way. Proverbs 17, 25, a foolish son is a grief to his father and bitterness to her who bore him. A foolish son, one who is not trained, who is not taught not to be foolish, will grieve his parents. The sad thing is, he's just following their example in Proverbs 1913, a foolish son is the ruin of his father and the contentions of a wife or a continual dripping, a family that is not in submission to God's plan for the family will be a ruined family. We use the word dysfunctional, there's no such thing as a dysfunctional family, it's just a family and sin. That's all it is. You either do it God's way or you do it your own. If you do it God's, you'll succeed according to the word of God. If you do it your own way, you're guaranteed one thing, and that's to utterly fail. Sounds like an easy choice, doesn't it? Utterly fail or be blessed by God. Hmm, OK, I'm going to go utterly fail because we choose to do things our way. We are to train our children to disciple them. They're learners. They're going to follow our example. They will learn more from what you do than what you say any day. So show them how to live. The second one, the letter R, we've got train, T-R-A-I-N. We have train as in disciple. Now we have restrain from evil. This I've termed discipline. Remember in our study from discipline in Hebrews, this is to correct, restrain and instruct. Parents are responsible in training their children to restrain them from evil. The tool God gives you to do that is the tool of discipline. In Proverbs 13, 24, it's written, He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly. You'll hear parents today say that if they they're not going to spank their children, they're going to teach their children to hit. They're going to love their children. The Bible says if you spank your child, it's because you love them. And if you don't spank them, you hate them. What does that say? That just goes to point that our culture doesn't know what love or hate either one is. Because we think that to love someone is to let them live in their depravity and do whatever they want to do. He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly. You discipline, you restrain them from evil, you tell them no, and if they do it again, there are consequences. Now, let me say here when I talk about discipline, I'm not talking about punishment. I grew up in a home where when we did something wrong, we were punished. Christian parents don't punish your children, correct your children. And there's a world of difference to punish means to be vengeful and angry and to bring about severe consequences for something just because you're mad to punish his retribution. We don't need to punish our children. We need to correct them when you correct someone, which is what discipline means to correct, to train. You teach them what not to do. You teach them what to do and you help them do it. You always discipline and you're calm when you do it and you do it with love and you do it for the right reasons, because if you discipline in anger, you can't even claim that that's discipline. It's not. That's just punishment. Does God punish his children? We talked about this in Hebrews. God doesn't punish his children. No, he punished Jesus on the cross. There's no condemnation to those who are in Christ. He corrects his children. The correction can use a rod. There can be a swat, there can be a spank, there can be consequences, but don't just get on to your kids because you're mad about something they did. You set the rules, you uphold the rules, and you do it consistently with love because he who spares the rod hates his son. Another verse, Proverbs 19, verse 18. The anti spankers out there. Don't like this verse chasing your son while there is hope and do not set your heart on his destruction, chasing him while there's hope, what does that mean? That means restrain him from evil, correct him, stop him from doing that and don't set your heart on his destruction. How do you set your heart on his destruction? Don't discipline. Let your kids do what they want to do. And you are setting your heart on your children's destruction. Because they will destroy themselves. Proverbs 22, 15. Says it this way, we read it already, foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child and the rod of correction will drive it far from him. Use God's means of discipline. And this doesn't always mean A physical rod, by the way, it doesn't say that you beat your kid with a stick. It says the rod of correction. This is correcting your children, disciplining your children in whatever way is appropriate. And correcting them will drive away that foolishness in Proverbs 23, verses 13 and 14. This one is really good. I love it when people do this one out of context. Do not withhold correction from a child, for if you beat him with a rod, he will not die. You shall beat him with a rod and deliver his soul from hell. The word in Hebrew does not beat beyond recognition, it means to strike. It's not like whacking your kid until he just can't take anymore. It's painful, it's sudden, it's swift and it's over. Now, we don't spank and spank and spank and spank and spank. You know, if you have to continue spanking your children most of their lives, they're not being trained. That's a parent's fault, not a kid's fault, because children can be trained. And if you have to continually be after your kids constantly, you're not training them. You may be setting the rules without giving any kind of a discipleship and without giving any correction, without restraining from evil, without teaching what to do right. You can't just set a rule and then discipline your kid when he breaks the rule. You have to teach your children how to live, because if you just set a list of rules, OK, you've got to do this or you're in trouble. That teaches the child nothing other than how to avoid a spanking. How many people grow up like that, they know just how to do exactly what they have to do, just keep their boss off their back because they've not been trained in integrity and in living a life of character, discipline. Don't worry about spanking. If you spank, that's a good thing. Don't withhold correction. If you're going to use the rod, use it. You're not going to kill him. You're not going to die. You might sound like it while he's getting spotted. I think he's dying. He's not going to die. He says you will beat him with a rod and deliver his soul from hell. Here's another choice. Let's see. Send my kid to hell or spank him. Sounds pretty easy to me. Get the rod. Train your children, teach them. I'm firmly convinced that parents who train their children in the Word of God and who train their children by example probably should not have to spank their children after about the age of three or four. That's the truth. If your kid's 10 years old and you're still threatening a beating, you're a bad parent. Go and repent in dust and ashes. Do it God's way and it works. In Chapter 29, verse 15 of Proverbs, you notice we're in Proverbs a lot. Proverbs is the best book ever written on parenting. The rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother. And verse 17, correct your son and he will give you rest. Yes, he will give delight to your soul. Do you like well-behaved children or misbehaving children? You're out in public. I guarantee you, the children who are behaving are children who are being trained and they're being disciplined and they're being restrained from evil. We have to understand that discipline is a restraint. It's not just a correction. It's a restraint. We keep them from doing what will hurt them. Remember, that's what the word evil literally means. Evil at its root means something that will hurt you. When you restrain from evil, you are protecting your children from something that will hurt them. So we train, we restrain. Next, we admonish in the Lord. The word for Edmonish, turn with me to Ephesians six, four. I'm going to make one more comment back to the spanking thing, a lot of parents today think it's OK not to spank and just give your children time out, time out, just gives you a rebellious little depraved child time to think about how to get back at you later because you didn't drive that foolishness out of his heart with a rod. Sometimes time out is appropriate. Sometimes it's appropriate to spank. Don't be afraid to be the parent in the family and in the home. In Ephesians six, four, he says, You fathers do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. The word admonition there is the Greek word news that we get it from the word. We get the word new FedEx. Have any of you ever heard of new FedEx counseling? It might be a term you've heard, might not. It's a little bit new. It's a term used to describe biblical counseling. The word new, the word admonish in the text means to warn, to instruct or to counsel. New counseling means we're not using psychology or psychiatry. It means we're using the word of God to counsel and to bring about resolution to a situation in someone's life. Well, we're told we're to admonish, to counsel, to warn, to instruct our children. In the training and in the admonition of the Lord, how do we do that? Turn with me back to Proverbs to chapter three. We're going to read a couple of lengthy passages in Proverbs and how we counsel our children. You know, parents, more than just instructing our children and being teachers to our children, we really do need to be our children's counselors. To be giving them warnings and giving them instruction and giving them counsel and giving them encouragement. in the truth in Proverbs three verses eleven through twenty six. He writes, My son, do not despise the chasing of the Lord, nor to test his correction. For whom the Lord loves, he corrects just as a father, the son in whom he delights. Happy is the man who finds wisdom and the man who gains understanding. What we're going to talk about in these next few verses is teaching your children the value of wisdom. What is wisdom? Wisdom is your perspective, having God's perspective, seeing things with a view toward eternity, wisdom and understanding. Understanding is a correct application of knowledge. You want your children to have wisdom and to have understanding, and you encourage them to have these things. Why? It's as happy as the man who finds wisdom and the man who gains understanding for her proceeds are better than the profits of silver and her gain than fine gold. Which would you rather have, rich kids or wise kids? She is more precious than rubies and all the things you may desire cannot compare with her. Length of days is in her right hand and her left hand riches and honor. Her ways are always of pleasantness and all her paths are peace. She is a tree of life to those who take hold of her and happier all who retain her the Lord by wisdom founded the earth by understanding he established the heavens by his knowledge the depths were broken up and clouds drop down the do. My son, let them not depart from your eyes. Keep sound wisdom and discretion. They will be life to your soul and grace to your neck. Then you will walk safely in your way and your foot will not stumble when you lie down. You will not be afraid. Yes, you will lie down and your sleep will be sweet. Remember back to last week. Remember the first part of Psalm 127. We talked about if God's not building the house, they who are trying to build it are laboring in vain. We talked about the fact that it's God who gives us safety. If God's not guarding the city, the watchman is there in vain. We talked about those who rise up early and stay up late, those who think that if you get up early so that you work hard, you can sleep good at night. Or if you work all day long, if you put things off to the last minute and stay up late, then you'll sleep good. If God doesn't give you rest, you're not going to sleep. We talked about the fact that in God's prosperity, God's prosperity, according to Psalm 127, is understanding that God is building your family. God is giving you safety and God is giving you rest. That's what it means to prosper. And he's done all that in Christ, by the way. He's building his family by Christ. He's giving his family safety in Christ. He's giving us rest in Christ. Well, listen to this right here. What does it just talk about? Those who are being wise, those who have understanding, those who have knowledge of the truth, it says you will walk safely. In your way, when you lie down, you will not be afraid, your sleep will be sweet. You want to be safe? You want to rest? You want God to build your family? Seek after wisdom. Seek after the right perspective to see things the way God sees them. Do not be afraid of sudden terror, nor of trouble from the wicked when it comes, for the Lord will be your confidence and he will keep your foot from being caught. It's God who watches out for us and who keeps us safe. Teach your children that. The first Bible verse I ever Learned I ever memorized when I was probably somewhere between the ages of two and three years old with Psalm fifty six three. What time I am afraid I will trust in me. I was taught that verse because I was scared of thunderstorms. But how much more has that verse come to mean in my life to understand whenever I'm afraid I can trust in God. Teach your children the Word of God. Counsel them with the Word of God. Teach them what it means to be wise and to have understanding. You know, our children are so capable of wisdom. They are so capable of being taught. People teach us nowadays that human beings are just dumb and that it's just going to take years to teach them anything. Your children are going to learn more in the first three years of their life than they'll learn the rest of their life combined. Start from the moment you know they're in the womb to teach them the Word of God. Apply it. Teach them to be wise. Our children can be so much more wise than we are. They can know so much more about the truth of God. How many of us had the benefit of growing up in the word in our families from birth? You have an opportunity to give that to your children, to give them from day one the word of God. Encourage them. In chapter four, he goes on. Starting in verse 10, he says, Hear my son and receive my sayings and the years of your life will be many. I have taught you in the way of wisdom. I have led you in right paths. When you walk, your steps will not be hindered. And when you run, you will not stumble. Take firm hold of instruction. Do not let it go. Keep her for she is your life. Teach your children like what you're teaching them, like their lives depend on it. Do not enter the path of the wicked. Do not walk in the way of evil. Now, that doesn't mean to your kids don't do it because I said so, because I'm a parent. It means you teach them to avoid evil. You tell them why you show them why. The problem is most parents tell their kids to avoid evil and then they go do evil and the kids hear one thing and see another. Live what you teach. Instruct your children to follow your example. Avoid the evil pathway, he says. Don't travel on it. Turn away from it. Pass on. He says in verse 18, but the path of the just is like a shining sun that shines ever brighter until the perfect day. The way of the wicked is like darkness. They do not know what makes them stumble. My son, give attention to my words. Do not let them depart from your eyes, keep them in midst of your heart, for they are life to those who find them and health to all their flesh. Teach your children, counsel your children in the word of God. Proverbs five, one and two says it this way. My son, pay attention to my wisdom. Lend your ear to my understanding that you may preserve discretion and your lips may keep knowledge. Teach your kids to be safe. Teach them to be right. Teach them to be wise. Teach them to walk with God. And when they're old, they'll never depart from it. We train through discipline, through discipling. We restrain through discipline. We admonish through encouragement. Now we instruct in righteousness. This is to teach. Why was the word of God given to us? All scripture is God breathed, inspired by God and is profitable for what? For correction, instruction in righteousness. God's word has been given to us so that we can be so it says that the man of God can be thoroughly equipped for every good work. How do we equip ourselves? How do we instruct ourselves in righteousness with the word of God? Give your children the word. Somebody it was that I read this week, I think it was J.C. Ryle said it this way in something he wrote. While it's important to use catechisms and things like that for your children, don't just teach your children the catechism to know the answer. Teach your children the catechism to know the word of God. Because it's the Word of God that makes a difference in our lives. It's the Word of God that he uses to convert the soul. It's the power of God to salvation. It never returns void, but always accomplishes the purpose. Do we even understand the tool that we have in the Word of God? No wonder the devil has been fighting the Word of God since the garden. Did God really say? The Word of God is sufficient. We have to use it to train our children. Back in Proverbs chapter four, He says here, my children, the instruction of a father and give attention to no understanding, for I give you good doctrine. Do not forsake my law. Don't forsake my law, give your children good doctrine, teach them the word of God in Proverbs, chapter eight, verse thirty two, he says it this way. Now, therefore, listen to me, my children, for blessed are those who keep my ways here instruction and be wise and do not disdain it. Blessed is the man who listens to me, watching daily at my gates, waiting at the post of my doors for whoever finds me, finds life and obtains favor from the Lord. But he who sins against me wrongs his own soul. All those who hate me love death. Listen to me, my children, for blessed are those who keep my ways. Teach your children the word of God. Turn with me to the book of Deuteronomy. I want to get real specific now. In the teaching, we train for discipling, we restrain by discipline, we admonish through encouragement, through giving good counsel. When we instruct our children, we have to understand that God assigns parents to be the teachers of their children. This is biblical. We have to understand that we've been taught in this society that you let everybody else in the world teach your kids, that you send them off to school and off to Sunday school and off to everywhere else in the world and let everybody else teach your children. Parents are the primary responsibility before God. Their primary responsibility is to teach their children. If anybody else is teaching your child, you're allowing that child to be taught, you better know what they're being taught and you better understand God holds you responsible for what your children learn. Now, let's bring that point home. If someone is teaching your children things that are not true and you don't correct that or you even allow that to continue without dealing with it biblically, it is as if you are teaching your children things contrary to the word of God, because you are responsible, held responsible by God to teach your children these things. You don't just let your kids go on their own way and do what they want to do. You actively involve yourself in instructing them. Proverbs 1 8 says, My son, hear the instruction of your father and do not forsake the law of your mother. Hear their instruction in their teaching. God says it this way in Deuteronomy, chapter six, starting in verse eight. Actually, starting in verse one, we'll get to verse eight. Now, this is the commandment, and these are the statutes and judgments which the Lord, your God, has commanded to teach you that you may observe them in the land which you are crossing over to possess. that you may fear the Lord your God to keep all his statutes and his commandments, which I command you, you and your son and your grandson, all the days of your life, and that your days may be prolonged. Therefore, here, O Israel, and be careful to observe it, that it may be well with you and that you may multiply greatly as the Lord your God of your fathers has promised you, a land flowing with milk and honey. Verse four, here, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your strength. And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. And what he just gave us, the great commands, didn't he? Jesus said this is the greatest. This is the law. This is all of it in one phrase. Love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength. What does he say about that specifically in verse seven? You shall teach them diligently to your children. You shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down and when you rise up, you shall buy them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as front lips between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorpost of your house and on your gates. What does God say? You take my word and you surround your children with it in the house. Whether it's on the wall, whether it's in the door, but most importantly, whether it's coming out of your mouth, teach this to your children. Your children should know the word of God before they know anything else. And you should understand that your primary responsibility in rearing children is to teach them. You are the agents, the tools, the teachers that God has given to your children. Teach your children. In Deuteronomy four, just back a few pages. Verses nine and ten, he says, only take heed to yourself and diligently keep yourself, lest you forget the things your eyes have seen, unless they depart from your heart all the days of your life and teach them to your children and your grandchildren, especially concerning the day you stood before the Lord, your God and Horam. When the Lord said to me, gather the people to me and I will let them hear my words and they may learn to fear me all the days they live on the earth and that they may teach their children. Teach your children what God has taught you. Teach your grandchildren what God has taught you teach them what God has done. Don't just leave them to discover it on their own. Actively instruct your children. In Deuteronomy 11, verses 18 through 21, he says it this way. Therefore, you shall lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul and bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall teach them to your children, speaking of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down and when you rise up. You shall write them on the doorpost of your house and on your gates, that your days and the days of your children will be multiplied in the land which the Lord swore to your fathers to give them like the days of the heavens above the earth. Teach these. When it talks about being a frontler between your eyes, they used to put scripture in a little thing that would hang down between your eyes. You know what literally that means. Literally that means whatever you're looking at, you better see it as it relates to the Word of God. See the Word of God everywhere you look. On your hand, wherever you are, whatever you're working with, whatever you're doing. Between your eyes, teach your children the word of God. It says you speak to them when you're sitting in your house, when you're walking by the way, when you lie down, when you rise up. What does that mean? That means when you're at home, when you're not at home, when you're asleep, when you're up, wherever you are with your kids, be teaching your kids with your words and with your example, the word of God. Teach your children how to love God with everything they are. Children have a wonderful capacity for love. Channel it by teaching them to love God. God has assigned parents to be the teachers of their children, and God's program for education is discipleship. You disciple them through moments in life, through rising up, through sleeping, through walking, through sitting down, wherever you're at with your children, be teaching them how to love God. By the way, when we say teach them to love God, you know, I've said this a number of times. What does it really mean to love God? Means to obey him, doesn't it? First John 5 3. And this is the love of God that we keep his commands. What are you teaching your children? You teach your children to obey the word of God. Teach them every opportunity you have. Instruct them in righteousness, in right living and being right with God. To close out then, we're training through discipling, we're restraining through discipline, we're admonishing through encouragement and counseling, we're instructing by teaching them how to love and to obey God. The end, the last one, to nurture. We train our children by nurturing them, by having tender care, by loving them. I've used the word here guardianship. We really don't understand what that word means, but remember, it starts with the phrase guard, guard your children. Guard your children. We live in a wicked society, in a wicked day and age. Guard your children. Don't let them surf the evil that's around them on television, on the Internet, everywhere else. It's there and it's easy to find. Guard your children. You know where they are. You know what they're doing. You train them in righteousness. You trust that they're learning, but don't let them go off on their own. Some parents make the mistake, they think they can just teach their kids the difference between right and wrong, and their kids will then choose to do what's right. Children have to be encouraged to continually choose to do what's right, because again, it's not in our nature to do what's right. Guard your children. This is the most precious trust parents have been given. Guard your children. It only takes but a split second for the devil to inject something into their minds that they will never forget for the rest of their lives. Think about it, parents, adults. Think about those times you've stumbled and you've fallen and you've given in to temptation and you remember it to this day. And it changed who you are. Guard your children more than just restraining them from evil, you actively protect your children. Dad, let me talk to you a minute. You better be protecting your family. If it means turning off the TV, turn it off. If it means not going certain places because things are going on, don't go. Be proactive. Don't wait to react and say, oh, we don't do that or we don't approve that you be proactive in protecting your family. We are so familiar today in the church with what evil is. Paul says, I want you to be simple concerning evil and be wise concerning the good. You don't have to know the gory details about sin to know that it's wrong. You don't have to be experienced in it to know that it's bad. You don't have to have somebody go to a rated R movie to tell you Christians shouldn't go to this movie. You don't have to see a TV show and think, well, there's this and that and that that we shouldn't do. But overall, it was a good story. Hogwash, if it's full of sin, protect your family. Stand up and be a man. Stand on the word of God and protect your wife and your kids. Is the devil not a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour? Do we really believe that the devil is after our families? The devil started in the garden by attacking a family. Adam didn't protect Eve. The devil came and tempted. Eve gave in. Adam fell. Adam was right there with her. Adam didn't protect her. He didn't do what he was supposed to do. And what happened? Now we're all born in sin because the devil attacked the family and he attacked the family at the root of the word of God. Adam didn't protect his wife and he doubted the word of God. And between the two of them, they sinned. When the devil comes and he tempts you and he tempts your children and he tries to attack and he tries to do whatever he's going to try to do, the world, the flesh and the devil is enough to contend with, it's bad enough we have to deal with our own lust. But men protect your family. We need men who stand up and act like men, men who say no, men who are willing to stand up and take it on the chin for their families, who are willing to be derided in public and who are willing to give up relationships and are even willing to lose jobs if necessary, if it means protecting the sanctity of their home and their family. Am I preaching a little bit or what in here? Stand up and be a man. Our children have got to be protected. There is so much out there. We know this because we live in the world and we see it. Praise God that our children in that respect are innocent and can be protected from the things that we have to see and have to deal with in day to day life. We live in a fallen, depraved world. And we are given the task to nurture our children. Loving your children is not letting them do whatever they want. Loving your children is doing whatever it takes to protect them. To spare them. To keep them simple, concerning evil and wise, concerning that which is good. This is so serious in Titus. Turn with you to Titus, chapter two. In Titus, chapter two, we're given the qualities of a sound church. And in verse versus one three, just let me read this. Paul writes to Titus, he says, but as for you speak to things which are proper for sound doctrine, that the older man be sober, reverent, temperate, sound in faith and love and patience, that the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanders, not given to much wine, teachers of good things, that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children. To be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed. You know, the word of God is blasphemed if the family isn't working like God established it to worship, to work. We do it God's way or we blaspheme his word. Part of a healthy church, part of a healthy family, is that the older women in church teach the younger women how to love their husbands when their husbands can be totally unlovely. And how to love their children when their children can be totally depraved. Mothers. Love your husbands and your children, this is part of nurturing, love them, be discreet, be chaste, be a homemaker, be good, be obedient so that the word of God may not be blaspheme. He says it this way in Second Timothy. Chapter three. in giving requirements for elders for leadership in the church. He says this has to be one who rules his own house while having his children in submission with all reverence. For if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God? It's a qualification to be a leader in the church that you have to be able to take care of your family, to lead them, to protect them, to have them in submission with all reverence. You can't do that if you don't love them, if you don't nurture them and if you don't protect them. Family comes first. That's a question I ask every every man that I sit on his ordaining council. One of the questions I ask him is if it came right down to it and you had to choose between a successful ministry and your family, which would you choose if your wife came to you and said, if you stay at this church in this ministry, I'm leaving you, what would you do? Thankfully, nobody has ever answered that wrong yet. But there are a lot of people out there who would rather take the successful ministry and just let the family go and just, well, that's just persecution. They're just not doing what God wants. They're just not being submissive and obedient. Folks, if you don't have a family, you don't have a successful ministry. You're fooling yourself, because if you don't have a family, you have nothing but the praise of man. We're to teach in the church how to love husbands, how to love children, how to take care of families, how to nurture. In verse 12, when talking about deacons, let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children in their own houses. Well, That's for qualified leadership in the church, and we're to be setting the example for the rest of the body. The body is to nurture the children and to protect them. I want to read a few paragraphs to close. This is from a little booklet. I'm going to see if I get copies for all of you. This is the duties of parents by J.C. Ryle. In summing this up and guarding your children in tender care, taking care and training them, he says this. Train your children, remembering continually how God trains his own children. The Bible tells us that God has an elect people, a family in this world. All poor sinners who have been convinced of sin and have fled to Jesus for peace make up that family. All of us who really believe on Christ for salvation are its members. Now, God, the father, is ever training the members of his family for their everlasting abode with him in heaven. He acts as a husband when pruning his vines. that they may bear more fruit. He knows the character of each of us. He knows our besetting sins. He knows our weaknesses, our peculiar infirmities, our special wants. He knows our works. He knows where we dwell, who we are, who our companions are in this life. And what are our trials? What are our temptations? And he knows what are our privileges. He knows all these things. And he is ever ordering everything for our good. He allots to each of us in his providence the very things that we need in order to bear the most fruit as much of sunshine as we can stand and as much of rain as much of bitter things as we can bear as much of sweet reader if you would train your children wisely mark well how God the father trains his own children. He does all things well. The plan which he adopts must be right. See then how many things there are which God withholds from his children. Few could be found, I suspect, among them who have not had desires which he has never been pleased to fulfill. There have been often some one thing that they wanted to attain, and yet there has always been some barrier to prevent attainment. It has been just as if God was placing it just out of our reach and saying, This is not good for you. This must not be. Moses desired exceedingly to cross over Jordan and to see the goodly land of promise, but you will remember that his desire was never granted. See, too, how often God leads his people by the ways which seem dark and mysterious to our eyes. We cannot see the meaning of all of his dealings with us. We cannot see the reasonableness of the path in which our feet are treading. Sometimes so many trials have assailed us. So many difficulties have encompassed us that we have not been able to discover the need be of it all. Why is this happening? It has been just as if our father was taking us by the hand into a dark place and saying, ask no questions, only follow me. There was a direct road from Egypt to Canaan, yet Israel was not led into it, but round through the wilderness. This seemed hard at the time, the soul of the people we are told was much discouraged because of the way. See also how God often chastens his people with trials and with afflictions. He sends them crosses and disappointments. He lays them low with sickness. He strips them of property and friends. He changes them from one position to another. He visits them with things that are most hard to the flesh. And some of us have well-nigh fainted under the burdens that have been laid upon us. We have felt pressed beyond our strength. We have been almost ready to murmur at the hand which chastened us. Paul, the apostle, had a thorn in the flesh appointed to him some bitter bodily trial, no doubt, though we know not exactly what it was. But this we do know. He besought the Lord thrice that it might be removed, and yet it was never taken away. Now, reader, notwithstanding all these things, did you ever hear of a single child of God who thought that his father did not treat him wisely? I'm sure that you never did. God's children will always tell you in the long run. It was a blessed thing that they did not get their own way and that God had done far better for them than they could have done for themselves. Yes, and they could tell you, too, that God's dealings had provided more happiness for them than they ever would have obtained themselves and that his way, however dark it was at times, was the true way of pleasantness and the only path of peace. I will ask you to lay to heart the lesson which God's dealings with his people is meant to teach you. Fear not to withhold from your child anything that you think will do him harm. Whatever his own wishes may be, for this is God's plan. Hesitate not to lay on him commands of which he may not at present see the wisdom and to guide him in ways which may not now seem reasonable to his mind, for this is God's plan. Shrink not from chasing and correcting him whenever you see his soul's health requires it, however painful it may be to your feelings or his. And remember, medicines for the mind must not be rejected because they are bitter, for this is God's plan. And do not be afraid, above all, that such a plan of training will make your child unhappy. I will warn you against this delusion. Depend on it. There is no more sure road to unhappiness than always having your own way. To have our wills checked and denied is a blessed thing for us. It makes us value enjoyments when they come. To be indulged perpetually is the way to be made selfish, and selfish people and spoiled children, believe me, are very seldom happy. Remember that in order to train a child, in order to instruct a child to disciple, To teach, you have to possess those things yourself. In order to impart them to others, that's the lesson of discipleship, is it not? The lesson of discipleship, you can't give somebody something you don't have, and when we talk about discipleship in the home, that's where it starts, but this is God's plan for the church, isn't it? Go and make disciples. Disciple one another. So to sum up, we're to train our children. How do we do that? We train by discipling them, by setting an example. We restrain them from evil through discipline, correcting, restraining and instructing. We admonish them in the Lord by encouraging them and counseling them in wisdom. We instruct them in righteousness by teaching them the word of God and the right way to go. And we nurture them by guarding them. and training them like God trains us. Remember, you have to possess it to impart it. Disciple your children. If God hasn't given you children, he has given you people to disciple. You can use all of this in every relationship that you have to disciple people in the truth. Let's pray. Father, we do thank you for your word. Father, above all, I pray that you would apply this message to our hearts so that we would know how to be a good discipler, so that we would know how to be a good parent. Strengthen us in this task, we pray in Jesus name. Amen.