The following sermon is brought to you by Capitol Community Church, located in Raleigh, North Carolina. Capitol Community Church is a people awakened to a holy God. If you are searching for a new church home, or from out of town looking for a church to worship with, or simply seeking for answers. Please join us for worship at 1045 a.m. every Sunday morning and six o'clock p.m. for our evening service. If you have any questions, please email us at info at CapitalCommunityChurch.com. We pray this sermon will help you grow deeper in your walk with Jesus Christ. I invite you to open your Bibles to Ephesians chapter six. Ephesians chapter six, we are doing a study this month for family month called God's Design for the Family. Last week we walked through verses 22 to 33. This morning we're going to look at Ephesians six, one to four. Ephesians six, one to four. Paul writes, children, obey your parents and the Lord for this is right. Honor your father and mother. This is the first commandment with a promise that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Let's go to the Lord in prayer. Heavenly Father, we pray, Lord, that you would Inhabit the thoughts of our minds as we think about the family this morning, and you give us instructions about our responsibilities in Christ as children and as parents and as grandparents. And we pray, Lord, that we would look at these responsibilities as sinners that have been saved by grace, that we're not trying to earn our salvation, but all of this is our duty and responsibility for those of us who have trusted in the Lord Jesus Christ to be faithful servants of you, that we obey our parents, that we honor our parents, and that those of us who are parents, that we bring up our children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. We ask all these things for the sake of your name and for the sake of your kingdom, in Christ's name, amen. This morning, people are coming from different walks of life, different family structures. Some of you grew up possibly from a broken home. Some of you grew up, like I did, partially without a father or without a mother. And it's important, I think, when we come to the Scriptures that we remember that Christ is our Savior, that Christ is our Redeemer, that Christ has the supernatural power to transform lives, that Christ can change any life, and therefore Christ can change any family. Christ can change any family. He is Savior. He is our Redeemer. And the great thing is, is with Christ there's always hope. There is always hope. And that's why if your family's in a difficult place, that's why you go to the Lord in prayer. There is hope that Christ will redeem lost members in your family, that Christ can bring forgiveness in the most difficult of situations. We also have to remember that Christ is Lord. Christ is Lord. One of the principles that you discover in the Christian life is when you become a Christian, you find out that Christ is Lord of all. He's Lord of everything. our family life, our business life, the way that we vote in the voting booth, the way that we conduct ourselves, both in public and private, it's all underneath the lordship of Christ. Abraham Kuyper, who was the prime minister of the Netherlands about a century ago, said, there's not one square inch over which Christ, who alone is Lord, does not declare mine. There's not one square inch in your life. There's not one room in your heart that you can cordon off and say, Christ, I'm gonna keep this for myself. Christ says, every square inch of your life is mine. Martin Lloyd-Jones said, Christianity has something to say about the whole of our life. There is no aspect of life which it does not consider in which it does not govern, end quote. Francis Schaeffer, quote, the Lordship of Christ covers all of life and all of life equally, end quote. It's comprehensive, it's comprehensive. When I went into the Marine Corps, what I quickly found is the Marine Corps claimed a comprehensive lordship over my life. Not in the sense that Christ does, but when you become a Marine, You now have a new set of values. It's honor, courage, commitment. It's Semper what? Fidelis. Semper Fidelis. Always faithful. Even the words that we used had to be changed. I quickly found out. Walls were no longer walls. They were called bulkheads. Floors were no longer called floors, they were called decks. Shoes could no longer be called shoes, they were called go-fasters. And one of the worst sins that you could do is call your rifle a gun. A gun is one of those large firing devices on a Navy boat. Your rifle is a rifle or a weapon. You see, words mean things in the Marine Corps. This is what it means to be in an immersive environment. And what you find out is, you really don't have a say about where you go, where you deploy, where you live. There's a slogan in the Marine Corps, they say, if the Marine Corps wanted you to have a wife, we would have issued you one. It's comprehensive. And on a microcosm, that's what Christianity is like. And that's, by the way, why so many people reject Christianity, is they understand the truth of the gospel, but when it comes down to it, they do not want to submit to the lordship of Christ. Over and over and over, I talk with people, they understand the gospel. They get it here, but it's here. It's the fact that Christ is Lord, and they do not want In the words of Kuyper, one square inch of that. But Christ does profess lordship over our lives, and you see this so explicitly in Ephesians. This is not about earning salvation. This is about the Christian life. This is how we are to live as saints in this world, and what you see is that the Christian life has a lot to say about the family, and we've seen that in regards to marriage, and now we see this in regards to children. Paul is following a line of thought. If you look at verse 21 of chapter five, Paul has laid out a governing principle in the life of the church. He says we're to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. So there's these relationships of submission. We're all equal in Christ. Every single person is equally covered by the blood of Christ. We're all equal image bearers. But in the life of The family, there are different roles. In the life of business and employment, there are different roles. So he's going to say in verse 22 that wives are to submit to their husbands. He's going to say in Ephesians 6-5 that bond servants are to obey their earthly masters. And he's going to give this charge to children in chapter 6, verse 1. He says, children, obey your parents in the Lord. And this leads to my first point this morning. I want you to write next to verse 1. Children, obey your parents. Children, obey your parents. This is one of the most fundamental principles of the life of the family. is that families function well when children obey their parents. This is the most foundational and basic responsibility of a child. And remember, Paul is giving this instruction to new Christians. You might wonder, okay, I've become a Christian. I've submitted my life to the Lordship of Christ. What does that mean in regards to my non-believing parents? Am I supposed to submit to them? And Paul says, yes. Children, you need to know this, Christian children, that you have a responsibility to obey your parents. That word, Greek word for obey, is an important word. It's hupakouo. Akouo just means to listen or hear. That prefix hup at the beginning means under. It means literally to listen under, to give ear, that you obey, that you hearken to someone. You are looking up for a command and then you carry out that command that you hear. So here's the important thing that you need to understand about this word is it begins with listening. It begins with listening. Listening is the transmission of the command, and that's part of wisdom. If you're a young person, it's part of wisdom. If you're any person. Is learning to listen. Proverbs 1215 says the way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens. To advice. Proverbs 13 one a wise son hears his father's instruction, but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke, so it starts. Obedience starts with listening. When I was a kid, this was my big problem. My big problem was I was a daydreamer. So I would start getting instructions from my parents, my grandparents, and I would start thinking about something. While they're talking, I'm thinking about something else, probably a Western or something, a John Wayne movie. And I'm nodding, yes, yes, yes, and somebody's speaking to me, and then at the end, do you understand? Oh yeah, oh yeah, I understand. One time my grandfather, was giving me instructions about how to work his tractor. And I'm listening, I'm listening, he's telling me, what you do is you press the clutch, then you change gears, then you hit the brake, this is how all this works. And he's going through this, he goes, you understand? And at that point I realized, oh man, that transmission, there was a disconnect here. And I don't understand at all, but I was too nervous to say anything. So I get up on the tractor. This is just one of those John Deere mowing tractors, and I'm making loops, mowing around the yard. I make a tight loop around one of the trees, and it was too tight that I didn't have room to turn, and I T-boned his truck. And my grandfather said, and I distinctly remember this, hit the clutch! hit the clutch. I'd forgotten what the clutch was. So he had to jump on that tractor and hit the clutch, get in reverse, all that stuff. But obedience begins with listening. And then The willpower, the follow-on action that then carries out that command. And Paul says in Colossians 3.20, he says, children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. This is how you begin to please the Lord, is through obeying your mom and your dad. Proverbs 6.20 says, my son, keep your father's commandment and forsake not your mother's teaching. that we're teaching literally is Torah. So it's the Word of God that God gives the responsibility to the father and mother to teach their children. And this was so important in Israel. I'm going to read a section from Deuteronomy 21, beginning in verse 18. Deuteronomy 21, verse 18. For a Hebrew child, fundamentally, what the parents were instructed to do is to instruct that child In the fear of the Lord in the scriptures if that child Were not to obey their parents It was understood that therefore they would not obey who? God therefore If they wouldn't obey their parents God's instruction for the parents Look at this. This is verse 18. He says if a man is a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice, you hear this emphasis on listening, the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, and though they discipline him, will not listen to them. then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of the city at the gate of the place where he lives and they shall say to the elders of the city this this our son is stubborn and rebellious he will not obey our voice he is a glutton and a drunkard so obviously he's an older child that has refused to obey and then all the men of the city shall stone him to death with stones. So you shall purge the evil from your midst and all Israel shall hear and fear." The reason why they did this is because Israel was a covenant people with God. Their position in the covenant depended upon them keeping the laws that God had given them. Their position in the land depended upon them not worshiping in the high places. So God says, if you have a child that won't listen, this is the consequence of that, if they won't obey. Sometimes as parents, I think especially in America, because we're naturally more on the rebellious side, we kind of like what we call a strong-willed child, a strong-willed child. We kind of joke about it. And strong-willed, normally what we mean by that is they don't listen. They do their own thing, and they go against the grain. Here's the reality. In reality, that's a weak-willed child. Because they only bring their will to do what they want to do, and not anything that is outside of themselves. Who had the strongest will of anyone that's ever lived? the Lord Jesus Christ. The Lord Jesus Christ had the strongest will of anyone who ever lived. And you remember, after Jesus was in the temple, remember Jesus' parents couldn't find him, they started to go all the way back. to Nazareth, they couldn't find him on the road, they went back to Jerusalem, they looked for him for three days, they finally found him in the temple and Jesus said, didn't you know I would be about my father's business? And they started to go back to Nazareth at that point and Luke records this, Luke 2.51, I find this one of the most remarkable verses. And he went down with them and came to Nazareth and was submissive to them. and his mother treasured up all these things in her heart. So our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, who had a will strong enough to resist the devil's temptations, He had an iron-sharpened will to obey the Father. That's John 6, 38. He says, for I've come down from heaven not to do my own will, but the will of him who sent me. This one with an iron-clad will submitted himself to his father and mother, to Joseph and Mary. He still obeyed them. So, young people, listen, a strong will is a will that is able to submit to your parents and ultimately to God. And when you're tempted at school, somebody puts that magazine in front of you, that phone in front of you, says, watch this. You say, I will not look at that because I have decided that I will obey my parents, I will obey the Lord. He says, that's impure. That's what a strong will is. I was at a pizza place this past week with my kids, and behind me there was somewhat of a little disobedient boy, and I know that because his dad kept calling out his name. And it just so happened that his name was my name, Grant. So every time he called it out, I'm looking over, Grant, Grant, Grant, Grant. So he's calling the name of this little boy, and we get our pizzas, we go out, and we're sitting outside, and we're eating, and then this little boy and his dad walk out, and I just, I said, hey, you got a great name, Grant. He goes, yeah. The dad goes, is your name Grant? I said, yeah, that's my name. And I looked at the boy, I said, what's your middle name? He said, Robert. I said, that's my middle name. I said, that's my middle name. Wow, what a coincidence. There must be probably two of us in the world, Grant Robert. At that point, I felt compelled to say something. I said, you want to live a life that's going to flourish? You need to obey your dad right here. You need to obey your dad. At which point, he rolled his eyes at me. So. We'll see, maybe the Lord will get ahold of that kid's heart, right? But here's the thing, it starts at its basic level. There's a reason why this is the most basic command, because obedience to God begins with obeying your parents, obeying your grandparents. So in our household, we have very simple rules. One, it begins, obey your parents. Obey your parents. Two, obey the Lord. Three, no whining. God hates whiners. Remember the children of Israel? God, you know, we're so upset about this bread. God says, you're done. So, you expect obedience. And look back at verse 1. Look back at verse one, who this obedience is to be rendered to. It is the parents. Children, obey your parents. The Bible emphasizes both the authority of the father and the mother in the life of the children. Obviously, he's going to address fathers momentarily. Fathers have the ultimate in authority. God is going to hold fathers accountable, but mothers also have authority over the children. Proverbs 1.8, hear my son your father's instruction and forsake not your mother's teaching. This, by the way, is why Jews were not to marry pagans. Jews were not to marry pagans because what would happen if you had one pagan husband or wife? They would teach the children their pagan values. So in Malachi chapter 2, God says, look, you're going to have to divorce these foreign wives because the children aren't going to be brought up. God wants holy children, so he wants us to marry, as Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7 39, in the Lord. You are to marry another believer, and then you and your spouse are to raise your children with a biblical worldview on the same page in the fear of the Lord. Now, some of you are in a situation where Perhaps you married an unbeliever and one of you has since become a Christian. What does God say to that? Well, God says there is still hope for your family. God says there is still hope for your children. In fact, Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7, 14, he says, for the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise, your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy." Now, by that, Paul doesn't mean that they're saved. He means that you, as the believing parent, have a sanctifying influence on your lost husband or wife and on your children. That you have a sanctifying influence in their life. And the classic example of this in the Scriptures is Timothy. Timothy's dad was a Gentile. He wasn't a believer, but his mother Lois, his grandmother Eunice, or his grandmother Lois and his mother Eunice, they were believers. And so Paul says, 2 Timothy 1.5, he says, I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and now I am sure dwells in you as well. So Moms that are out there that are married to an unbelieving husband, there is still hope for you. There's hope for your children, that God will use you to bring your children into the kingdom. Now, Paul then says that this obedience is given to the parents, but ultimately, it's to the Lord. Look, he says, in the Lord, in the Lord. So this is how, if you're in a difficult situation, let's say that you have, you're saved, you're a child, you have a very harsh parent, an unbelieving parent. My friend Afshin Ziafat was like this, his father, was a Muslim, and he was saved in that, and his father is expecting him to do certain things. How is he to live in that context as a Christian? Well, he submits to his father as much as he can and honors him in the Lord, all the while seeing that Christ is his ultimate authority. So there came a moment in his life where his father said, I want you to go to med school, and Jesus said, I want you to go to seminary. And he said, Father, I want to honor you, I respect you, but I have to obey Christ at this point. So Christ trumps the authority of your parents, but as much as you can, even if they're not Christians, you do your best to obey them and honor them. Martin Lloyd-Jones says, quote, grace raises the commandment to the highest level. And we are to obey our parents and to honor them and to respect them in order To please our Lord and Savior who is looking down upon us in quote. And Paul says when we do this, look, he says right there at the end of verse one, this is right. This is right. The word for right is the same word for righteousness. It means that it's in accordance with the law of God and the character of God. When we obey our parents, we are in step with God's law and God's character. Did you hear that? It is your righteousness, young people. to obey mom and dad. And you know when this gets really hard? Is when you're a teenager. Is when you're a teenager. Because you begin to think that you know better than mom and dad. You begin to think, okay, I've started to get this figured out. But, whose household are you in? Mom and dad's. Obviously you haven't figured things out that much. When you're in your parents' household, you are to obey your mom and dad. What did David do? His father says, I want you to take the bread and the cheese to the army. Did he stop along the way, you know, get lost in the Jerusalem arcade? No. He went to the battlefield. He took the bread and the cheese. Too many young people want to live like James Dean, a rebel without a cause, and not like David. You put yourself on the path of righteousness when you obey your parents. Second point, look at verse 2. I want you to write next to verse 2. Children, honor your father and mother. Children, Honor your father and mother. Now what Paul's going to do is he's going to expand the command. Obey your parents is a very narrow command. Now he's going to give a very broad instruction and this pertains more to the attitude of the heart. That you are to have an attitude in your heart that desires to honor your mother and your father. And Paul says, you do this, and it may go well with you, and that you may live long in the land. And of course, you see that this is in quotations. In the English Standard Version, it's in quotations. I'm sure it is in your Bible. It's in quotations because it's a quotation of what? Fifth commandment. Paul's quoting the fifth commandment. Remember, ten commandments were given when? Sinai. Did they start to exist then? No, they did not. They go all the way back to creation. It was wrong to murder somebody before God instituted the Ten Commandments. The Sabbath was instituted at the very beginning. God's worship was instituted at the very beginning. It was wrong to commit adultery at the very beginning. It was wrong to steal at the very beginning. But the Ten Commandments are given so that we can see the law of God before our eyes, so that we can see this righteous standard. And Paul says something very interesting here. And this is his commentary on it. This is not part of the quote. That's why it's in parentheses. He says this the 5th commandment. Is the first commandment with the promise you see that? Here's why that's interesting. Go read the 10 commandments. Go read the 10 commandments. What you'll find is is that it's the only commandment with the promise. There's no other commandments with the promise. It's the only one. But Paul says. It's this first commandment with a promise. Why does he do this? Here's why. I think he emphasizes this first commandment language because the fifth commandment is the entrance into all the other commandments. The first commandment that a child is to learn is the fifth commandment, to obey their mother and father, to honor their mother and father. And here's a connection. Now, don't turn there, but write down Leviticus 19.3, Leviticus 19.3. It says, every one of you shall revere his mother and his father, and you shall keep my Sabbaths. I am the Lord your God." Keeping the Sabbath, who teaches you how to do that? Your mother and your father do. Who teaches you how to worship God? Your mother and your father do. Who teaches you how to revere the Lord your God? Your mother and your father do. So the fifth commandment is the introduction to the Ten Commandments. This is the first one that the child learns. And Paul says, he reiterates this truth that there is a reward to the children that honor their father and their mother. And what's the reward? It's that they live long in the land. Staying long in the land is the reward for living righteously before God. So here's the connection. In the Ten Commandments, the promise is that you live long in the land for obeying your mother and father. When you read the rest of the Old Testament, living long in the land is the reward for obeying God. Do you see that connection? You're like, well, I thought in the Ten Commandments it was obeying father and mother. Well, in the rest of the Old Testament, it's obeying God. The implication is you get to obeying God and live long in the land because you were taught that from your mother and father. Let me show you the verses. Proverbs 2, 21, for the upright will inhabit the land. upright before God, right? And those with integrity will remain in it, but the wicked will be cut off from the land. Proverbs 10.30, the righteous will never be removed. Removed from what? The land. But the wicked will not dwell in the land. Psalm 37.9, for the evildoers shall be cut off, but those who wait for the Lord shall inherit the land. Psalm 37.22, for those blessed by the Lord shall inherit the land, but those cursed by him shall be cut off. So the fifth commandment is to teach the child ultimately how to fear God so that child can live long in the land. Now, here's what's fascinating. Paul, in Romans chapter four, expands the land to include the entire earth. Why is Paul quoting this? Ten Commandment about the land, which was a promise given to who the Jews. Why is he quoting this to Gentiles? Ever thought about that? Do Gentiles inherit Israel? No, they do not, but they will. Paul says in Romans Chapter 4. Inherit the earth. they will inherit the earth. Romans 4.13, for the promise to Abraham and his offspring that he would be heir of the world, cosmos, did not come through the law but through the righteousness of faith. So the land is the blessing of salvation. And what Jesus is going to do one day is he's going to remake this entire globe. It's all going to be made new. You can read about it in Revelation 21 and 22. And what Paul is saying here in Ephesians 6 is something so important. He's saying, you honor your father and mother, Christian child, one day, you're gonna rule over the earth with Christ. You're gonna be in the land. You see, we're not just gonna be floating on clouds like ethereal angels forever. We are going to be here. and a remade earth. And it starts with honoring your father and mother. And this is the broad principle, that we live our lives before God, honoring our parents. And one of the great examples of this in the Old Testament is Ruth, the Moabitess. Remember, her husband dies, and she says to her mother-in-law, Naomi, she says, I'm going with you. I'm going with you. Ruth 116, she says, do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go, I will go. And where you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people and your God my God. She was not a Jew. She was not a Jew. She was a Moabite. And she comes back to Bethlehem. She picks up the wheat, and Boaz is filled, catches Boaz's eye. Boaz ends up redeeming her, and she becomes the great-grandmother to David, and therefore, the great, great, great, great, great, 17 times, or however many times, to the Lord Jesus. And it begins with her simply honoring Naomi, saying, your people will be my people, your God will be my God. And young people, that's the bread of life right there. I mean, you wanna make your parents flourish, your family flourish, they can't do this for you, you must decide. Your God will be my God. Your people, my people. And that's how families thrive. That's how families thrive. Third and finally, look at verse four. Paul gives instructions now to the parents. He switches the perspective. He's been giving instruction to Christian children, and now he's going to give instruction specifically to the fathers. So next to verse four, I want you to write, fathers, bring them up. Fathers, bring them up. The picture of the parent's responsibility, the father's responsibility, is active and not passive. That's why I emphasize bring them up. Paul says in verse four, fathers do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up. That word, ectrepho, means to bring a child to maturity, to raise them from being a little baby to a responsible adult, but it's an active verb. In other words, as fathers, we are not merely to be responsive or passive to our children's lives, but we have an active responsibility. It's the difference between a thermostat and a thermometer. Do you know the difference? A thermometer simply measures the temperature. It's a gauge. It simply responds to the climate in the room. The thermostat sets the temperature. Sets the temperature. And that's what Paul's saying to fathers. He's saying, you are the thermostat of your family. That you have a responsibility. You bring them up. you have that responsibility to set the temperature of your home, to set the temperature in your child's life, and you're to bring them up, and we're gonna flesh this out, in the Lord. It's not just how you wanna do it, or how your family has always done it, but how Christ desires you to bring them up. He first says, and this regards more this atmosphere that you're to set, he says, do not provoke your children to anger. Paul says in Colossians 321, fathers do not provoke your children lest they become discouraged. When you provoke your children, they become discouraged. And there's numerous ways that fathers and mothers can provoke their children. And let me just give you a few of these. One of them is, is disciplining for failures. There's a difference between disobedience and a failure. Disobedience is disregard for instruction, whereas a failure might be spilling the milk at the kitchen table. You discipline for disobedience, not for failure. Another thing would be demeaning comments. Sometimes kids aren't flourishing. Sometimes kids aren't performing well in school or in sports or whatever it is. And you can guarantee that they're getting an earful from their peers. I grew up with this. I grew up with this. Kids that were struggling and their parents get frustrated that their kids are struggling. And so rather than building them up, they also, begin to tear that kid down. And that does a devastating thing in a child's life. It's one thing to hear it from a peer. It's another thing to hear it from a parent. You're no good. You'll never succeed. You're a failure. You're a travesty to our last name. Those types of comments are going to push your child away where they're not going to want to be part of your family. They're not going to desire to obey what you say and to listen to your thoughts. Another one is cold-hearted neglect. Cold-hearted neglect, and we, in the day of smartphones, sometimes we don't even realize that this is happening. Oftentimes when a child is misbehaving, it's because they've been neglected by mommy and daddy and they just want attention, and they'll get attention negatively. because negative attention is better than no attention. And fathers, with your daughters, this is really important, is that we need to give them attention. We need to give them attention because they're under our leadership. And if you don't give them attention, they will go find attention from another man who will. And you might not be happy with who that man is. So give your daughter's attention, give your son's attention too. But obviously this is important, especially for fathers with daughters. Playing favorites is another one. We don't need to elaborate on how deadly that is. Just look at the life of Jacob with Joseph and how his brothers treated him because of his father's favoritism. Here's another one that we're prone to do is making promises that you can't keep. Making promises that you can't keep. You say, hey, I'll be at the game, I'll do this with you, we'll take this trip, and then, yeah, we can't do it. Yeah, I'm sorry, we don't have time. Oh, we don't have money. Well, don't make the promise to begin with if you can't follow through, because you want that child to trust your word. And this is another one, lastly, I'll just mention this, because I saw this a lot in sports growing up, but it's parents trying to live vicariously through their child. you know, they weren't successful with something, with whatever sport it was, but by golly, my son is going to be the next Dan Marino, and if he's not, I'm on him, and I'm tearing him down, or, you know, it's about living my life through that child, and that's not the idea. The idea is that child belongs to the Lord. not to you, and you're just there to steward as a responsible parent what the Lord wants to do with that child's life. The child is not called to walk necessarily in your exact footsteps or the footsteps that you wish that you had taken. And remember, Paul says, Romans 2, 4, that is the kindness of God which leads to repentance. It's the kindness of God that leads to repentance. If they don't seek kindness from you, their earthly father, sometimes it's hard for people to believe that they'll receive kindness from their heavenly father. It's the kindness of the Lord that leads to repentance. Paul goes on, it's not just this atmosphere of not provoking them to anger, but he says two things, we are to bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. I want you to underline that word discipline or circle it. It's the Greek word paideia, P-A-I-D-E-I-A, if you transliterate it, paideia. And this word means so much more than simply disciplining a child in terms of correction. What this is talking about is an all-intensive culture of training to bring about certain results. So you think about the Greek city-states. Each city-state had their own specific paideia. So if you go to Sparta, you remember Sparta? The Spartans' paideia was an entire culture trained to make that young man a warrior, you know, with your shielder on it. As soon as that child was born, all the way until they joined the Spartan army, that was the goal. You go to Athens, what's the paideia? Well, they were thinkers. They grew up in the Agora, right there in Athens. They were trained. They had the different porches of the philosophers. You go to Crete, what's the paideia? Well, Paul says in Titus that they're gluttons and lazy. So, the paideia was we sit around. We're basically 21st century Americans. So, the question is, what is the culture that produces a godly child? What is the culture of your household? What is the training like of your household? What is your household culture producing? That's a great family discussion. Just ask your kids, what is the culture of our home like? If you were to describe our culture in five words, how would you describe it? And Paul's point is that this culture look at this last phrase, is of the Lord. That it's a godly culture, it's a culture that's informed by the Word of God, and it's under the Lordship of Christ, and it's a culture that then nurtures these children to grow up and walk in a manner that is pleasing to the Lord, and to walk in a manner that is worthy of the gospel, And Paul says, fathers, this is your responsibility. You can't just go and work and bring enough money into the home and come home and watch Andy of Mayberry reruns. I don't know if anybody does that, but you have a responsibility to train, to train, train, train. And this training includes everything. How the child speaks, how the child treats others, how the child uses money, how the child eats at the dinner table. My parents relentlessly drilled me about how I held my spoon. I grew up, I grabbed my spoon like this, like I was a, you know, one of the bears in Goldilocks' story. And they taught me, you know, I need to hold, you know, if you want to survive one day at a business interview, you need to hold your spoon like this. The training includes how you dress, how you dress. Wayne Roper and I this morning were talking about our grandparents both emphasizing tucking in your shirt when you're a kid. and and how what what's appropriate and and how you look and how you dress how to work that's another biggie how to work to teach your children uh what we call the the protestant work ethic which is that you work heartily uh colossians 3 as unto the lord and not unto men how you worship that you bring your kids to the house of God on the Lord's day, your grandkids, whatever it is, that you're here and that you're training them. Look, yeah, you can sit there and draw, you can read a book, but we're here and we're going to worship the Lord. This is what we do. How you shake hands. How you speak to adults. How you listen. How not to interrupt. These are all things that you train your children because this is your responsibility. You can't pass the buck off to the public school system. It's your responsibility. And this is why it's so important that we do this in a spirit of love. There will be times when we need to give correction. Correction. A father who loves their children. Will discipline them in terms of correction. Hebrews 12 seven says it is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons for what son is there whom his father does not discipline. Proverbs 1324 Solomon says whoever spares the rod hates his son. but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him." Notice that both Solomon and the apostle in Hebrews do not say punish. There is a difference between punishment and discipline. Punishment is simply the wrath for doing something wrong. Discipline is what God gives his children in order to curb their behavior and change the heart. You see the difference? God is not going to punish his children. God is going to punish the evildoers on the last day. God disciplines his children. So that gives you a mindset when you discipline a child. It's not cold-hearted punishment. It's corrective discipline in order to restore fellowship in the life of the family. In order to restore fellowship between that child and the Lord, because they've ultimately sinned against the Lord as well. So you're trying to teach that child that this behavior, what they've done, is dishonoring to you, and most importantly, it's dishonoring to the Lord. And that's why Solomon says, you use the rod. You use the rod. And trust me, if you use the rod right, they remember it. Patrick told me this week, he said, I hate spankings. If you use it right, they remember. And the thing is, I was going to say something else. Come tonight. Tonight, this is what we're talking about. This is a free commercial for tonight. We are talking tonight about how to train children and how to discipline them. How to train children and how to discipline them. But here's the thing, you're going after the heart in this. You do it in love, you do it in kindness, because you don't want that child to grow up walking in disobedience to the Lord. Proverbs 4.23 says, above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. So in addition to the discipline, then Paul says you bring them up in the instruction of the Lord. Bring them up in the instruction of the Lord. And what this is, is you're wanting to impart to that child a biblical worldview. Obviously, it's the gospel, it's understanding the Lordship of Christ, that we are sinners, that Christ came into the world to redeem us, that Christ died on the cross for our sins, that Christ rose again from the dead, that Christ is ruling and reigning at the right hand of the Father, that Christ is coming to judge the living and the dead, and that Christ is Lord over everything. And what we want our children to have is 1 Corinthians 2.16, Paul says, is the mind of Christ. The mind of Christ. Because then, after we're long dead and gone, everything that our children and grandchildren face, they face it with the mind of Christ. They face it with the mind of God. There is a huge emphasis right now on mental health. Have y'all noticed this? Everywhere we were at Chick-fil-a the other day and the stuff that they're handing out to the kids It's you know, this is how to have good mental health or maybe you have poor mental health. Here's what you can focus on Everybody's talking about mental health Let me tell you the secret to mental health It's the mind of Christ It's a biblical worldview the the biblical worldview it's like It's it's practical Theology and ethics are always woven together like bark on a tree. They go hand in hand. So if you know how to think about the world the way God thinks about the world, the way that Christ thinks about the world, then whatever you encounter in life, you have a biblical framework from which to understand it. That right there is the key to 99% of all counseling. Most, most, almost every single instance. You know, these guys that are struggling with mental health coming back from the war. What's the deficiency? It's a biblical worldview. It's the mind of Christ. That's the key to PTSD. Whatever you're facing. That's the key to facing whatever has happened in your past. Maybe there was a horrific sin that you did, or a horrific sin that was committed against you. Romans 8, 1, You see that? The biblical worldview confronts everything that you're facing. And so what you want to do is you want to give your children the mind of Christ. Obviously, God has to do that. God has to give that to him. But as much as it depends on you, when we're driving around, we might be going to the dump. We're talking with the kids. I bring the kids along. Hey, let's talk about the difference between law and grace. All these other religions, they're a religion of law. You have to try to climb this ladder to earn your way to heaven. Christianity, it's a religion of grace. Christ has accomplished it for you. We stand on grace by faith. What's the instrument by which God gives all of Christ's benefits to us? Faith. What overcomes the world? Faith. Have these conversations with your kids. Ask them, you have a limited time. Paul says earlier in Ephesians 5, he says, redeem the time. Buy it back for the days are evil. You have a limited time with your children and grandchildren. Impart to them the mind of Christ, a biblical worldview. There's nothing that's more important. And what will happen is, is long after you're gone, they will begin to think like Christ thinks. Let me just read to you one other section of scripture here in Deuteronomy 6. God says, and these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. So they need to be in your heart. And then you shall teach them diligently to your children. You shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise. It's all of life is under Christ and you're imparting this biblical worldview to them. I want to read this passage. This is from a book I read years and years ago. And I think it's helpful in understanding this. This point, the author says, to the Hebrew mind, everything is theological. That is, the Hebrews make no distinction between the sacred and the secular areas of life. They see all of life as a unity. It is all God's domain. He has a stake in all that comes to pass, whether trials or joys. And human beings have an awareness of God in all that they do. The psalmist states clearly this aspect of Hebrew thought quote. I have set the Lord always before me in quote Psalm 16 eight. It is also taught in the proverb in all your ways. Acknowledge him and he will make your past straight. Proverbs 3 six. Thus God is seen to control both fertility. Genesis 30, 22, and barrenness. First Samuel 1, 5, and 6. The book of Ruth gives concrete examples of this teaching. Ruth 1, 6 states, quote, the Lord came to the aid of his people by providing food for them, end quote. A reference to relief from a famine that had ravaged the city of Bethlehem and the territory of Judah. He goes on and on, and I'll read you the last sentence. He says, thus to the Hebrew mind, all the circumstances of life, the good times and the hard times, come not by chance, but under the sovereign control of Almighty God. So that's what you have to teach your children. Life is short. It will soon be past. Only what's done for Christ will last. Heavenly Father, we pray, Lord, for the grace and the wisdom to do this. We pray, Lord, that we would be obedient children, that we would honor our fathers, our mothers, that as parents we would bring up our children in the fear of the Lord, that we would bring them up, that we would be proactive, that we would be active and not passive, that we would not provoke our children to anger, but we would discipline them when necessary, that we would provide that comprehensive culture in which we train them. that we provide that correction when needed, and then we provide this instruction in the Lord that these children begin to understand all of life and all of reality in light of our sovereign God. And we ask this for your sake and for your glory. Amen. Thanks for listening. For more sermons, information, and events, check out our website at capitolcommunitychurch.com.