I want you to turn to Ecclesiastes chapter 2, please. And it's something that I believe, Brother Bicey, we need to stick this sermon in with the depression series, our depression sermon and a few of those I preached on depression and, you know, anxiety and dealing with some of those things. I wanna talk to you about something tonight that I believe will help you, I really do. I believe it'll help somebody you know if you get them the CD and give it to them. Somebody from your life is affected by this, or will be affected by this, so you keep this, because you may need it, all right? I wanna talk to you tonight about how to deal with grief. How to deal with grief, tragedy, death, or loss. Let's pray, and then we're gonna get into this. Father, I pray you'd be with us now, Lord. I really pray, dear God, that you please would speak to hearts. And Lord, I know there's some people that have not dealt with grief properly, and they're probably in this room even. And they'll be under the sound of my voice when this goes online or anywhere else that somebody hears it. Father, I just pray that you'd help them to take heed and to understand where this can lead if it's not dealt with properly, if grief is not dealt with properly. And Lord, I want to really help somebody tonight. I want your word to help them, Lord, and I pray you just use me and you do the work that only you can do, Lord. We pray in Jesus' name, amen. Ecclesiastes 2, verse number 23 says, For all his days are sorrows, and his travail grief. Yea, his heart taketh no rest in the night. This is also vanity. You know, dealing with grief is such an important thing for us to try to understand. So many people do not deal with grief in a biblical way. When grief is not dealt with properly, it can lead to death. I've seen it. You know, one of the major causes of suicide today, now listen to me very closely, one of the major causes of suicide today is grief over the loss of someone or grief over death or grief over major loss and sorrow in the heart that is not dealt with properly. That leads to death. It does. It leads to death. What's the definition of grief? Here's the definition that Webster's 1828 gives it. The pain of mind. Think about this for a second. The pain of mind. Produced by loss. Misfortune, injury, or evils of any kind. Sorrow or regret. You know, sometimes our heart is filled with a lot of regret and we start thinking back on our lives. And we start thinking back on things that we've done in the past. Or we have sorrow that is so pent up in our mind. It is a pain of mind. It's a pain of mind. Thank you. I want you to think about that. The pain of mind occasioned by our own misconduct, sorrow, or regret that we have done wrong. Pain accompanying repentance, it can be. We feel grief when we have offended or injured a friend, and the consciousness of having offended God fills the penitent heart with the most great grief, mostly grief. Cause of sorrow, that which afflicts, who were a grief of mine to Isaac and Rebekah, it says about Esau when he took the wrong wife. A foolish son is a grief to his father, Proverbs 17.25 says. That's that pain of mind. And that pain of mind is not the same as the pain of the body. You know, you can take a lot of pain of the body. Your body can take excruciating pain and you can still move forward and continue on through that pain and suffering. But when grief, when that pain of mind comes, it's not easy to continue. Grief is that pain of mine, it is a deep emotional pain that we feel. It's in the mind and the heart, and many times it's bottled up and never dealt with properly. When this occurs, there's a depressing downward spiral that takes place in the mind that can lead to death. Many times it brings thoughts of wanting to die. It is that grief that leads to depression. It is that depression that leads to the desire to die. And in the lost, it is that desire to take one's own life, to escape this life. In many, it brings the thoughts of taking your own life. to be the master of eternity and to dictate to self how long you will allow yourself to live. You become your own God and think in your own authority and power to end your own life. Suicide is where grief that is never dealt with leads to. So much pain in the mind. Listen, I've talked to so many, I've seen it. I've been around people. I've had people close to me commit suicide. People that I've known since they were 13 years old. Right? The people that were, you know, close to me my whole life, I mean, I pretty much grew up with them. Right? And I watched them, their lives spiral out of control. I watched them not be able to deal with grief properly. I've watched them not be able to deal with that grief properly and what it does to them and how it affects them. So let's look, we're going to look at grief. We're going to look at it, how to deal with it effectively, how to deal with it the right way, the biblical way. Okay? If we understand that, then our minds and our hearts will not be overtaken. as people of God. And some of you, I'm gonna tell you something right now, you can deny it all you want to, but you've got some grief stuck inside of your heart that you've never gotten rid of, you've never expressed it, you've never gotten it out, and it eats you up. So number one, I want to get to this many examples of grief for grieving in the Bible Isaiah chapter 17 verse number 11. The Bible says in the day shalt thou make thy plant to grow and in the morning shalt thou make thy seed to flourish, but the harvest shall be a heap in the day of grief and of desperate sorrow. That grief is tied with desperate sorrow. That's a desperation. Isaiah chapter 53, the Lord Jesus Christ, the man of sorrows. I want you to turn there, Isaiah chapter 53. I'm going to preach on this chapter sometime soon. Also on Isaiah chapter 61. Isaiah chapter 53 verse number one, Who hath believed our report, and to whom is the arm of the Lord revealed? For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of dry ground. He hath no form nor comeliness, and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him. He is despised and rejected of men, a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief. How about that? A man of sorrows, acquainted with grief. And we hid, as it were, our faces from him. He was despised, and we esteemed him not. You know, everybody forsook him. Everybody walked away. When he was in the most grieving and sorrowful time of his life, everyone deserted him and walked away from him. Do you understand that? Which is the total opposite of what should be done when somebody is going through that. The Bible says, and we hid as it were our faces from him, he was despised and we esteemed him not. Surely he hath borne our griefs. We'll talk about that, that's the cure, isn't it? And carried our sorrows. He carried them. Yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions. He was bruised for our iniquities. The chastisement of our peace was upon him. And with his stripes, we are healed. You will notice something about grief. It is closely linked to sorrow. Sorrow will accompany grief. It is part of it and cannot be separated from it. The Bible says, Yet it pleased the Lord to bruise him, and he hath put him to grief. He bore the grief. You know Jesus grieved. The Bible says Jesus wept. Jesus grieved and God grieved. Yet we think that we are somehow weaker if we grieve and have sorrow. Listen to me. Listen closely. Don't you ever teach your children that it's wrong for them to cry or it's wrong for them to express or show emotions. If you teach them that, if you stop them from having any emotions, you will teach them to suppress their emotions, and you are raising a ticking time bomb that will explode one day, and when it does, it will blow up all over everyone. It'll cause much damage. Don't teach them that. You teach them to control their emotions, but to teach them not to have any at all, or that it's wrong for them to cry, is not good, not good at all. So, well, if they're whining too much, well, put them to bed, they're tired. When they get that whiny, they need to go to sleep. It's pretty easy, right? Yeah, well, you know, not if it's your fault they're up. If it's your fault they're up, it's your fault. That's the one thing I always have to look at before I do that is, well, is it my fault they're out this late or they're up this late or they're not in sleeping? Because if it is, then I'm just, I'm just sowing, I'm just reaping what I sowed. Right? I can't expect a miracle out of a child like that and think like, well, they're going to be perfect if they don't sleep. No, they're going to be like you are without sleep. Yeah. That's right. Lamentations 3, 31. For the Lord will not cast off forever. But though he caused grief, yet will he have compassion according to the multitude of his mercies. For he doth not afflict willingly, nor grieve the children of men, to crush under his feet all the prisoners of the earth, to turn aside the right of a man before the face of the Most High, to subvert a man in his cause, the Lord approveth not. The Bible says Jesus had grief and sorrow of heart. 1 Peter chapter 2 verse number 19, turn there please. and talking about grief and sorrow. 1 Peter 2.19, For this is thankworthy, if a man for conscience toward God endure grief, suffering wrongfully. For what glory is it, if when you be buffeted for your faults, you shall take it patiently? But if when you do well and suffer for it, you take it patiently, this is acceptable with God. For even here unto where ye called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps, who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth. who when he was reviled, reviled not again. When he suffered, he threatened not, but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously." You know, God was grieved over man's sin. He had a deep pain in mind over man's sin. Remember what he said? He said it grieved him at his heart. He looked down at the sin of the world and it grieved him at his heart. He had sorrow in his heart. You know, we cannot... God was grieved over man's sin, but notice God acted on his grief. God did not hold that grief in. He dealt with it. He did something with it. For some reason, we think it's weak to cry or to show emotions or to mourn, which we're going to talk about. That's not weakness. Remember the weeping prophet? Right? You know, it's interesting, the word grieved is found 40 times in the scriptures. That number 40 is the number of trials. This life is full of grief and trials. How about Hebrews chapter 3 verse number 10? This links that number 40 together with grief. Listen to this. Hebrews chapter 3 verse number 10. Look, he said he was grieved in his heart for that generation, right? See that number 40? Grieved 40 years. Let me ask you something. When's the last time you wept? When's the last time you wept? When's the last time you cried out to God? When's the last time you wept over something that has happened or taken place? Over deep sorrow and pain and grief of heart and anguish of soul? When's the last time you did that? You better be awful careful that you're not internalizing that grief and leaving it inside of you and allowing it to eat you up and to harden you. We're going to talk about that. Genesis chapter 3 verse number 16 and 17 shows us that we will have sorrow in this life. Turn there. Genesis chapter 3. We go back to the curse there, right? Genesis chapter 3, 16 and 17. On the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception. In sorrow thou shalt bring forth children, thy desires shall be thy husband and he shall rule over thee. And unto Adam he said, because thou hast hearkened to the voice of thy wife and hast eaten of the tree of which I commanded thee, saying thou shalt eat of it, cursed is the ground for thy sake. In sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life. Thorns and thistles shall it bring forth to thee, and thou shalt eat the herb of the field. And the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread till thou return to the ground, for out of it wast thou taken." What did he say to him? He said to him, you're going to sow in sorrow is what you're going to sow in. You know what he said to her? He said, you're going to conceive in sorrow. Why? Because you're going to bring forth little sinners that are going to break your heart. And what happened? Cain killed his brother Abel and broke her heart. Right? Didn't take long, did it? Grief and sorrow will come over the many trials we have in this life. Grief and sorrow connected. Number two, let's talk about Naomi. Turn to the book of Ruth, please. Naomi had sorrow and grief over death, but I want you to notice how Naomi dealt with her sorrow, how she dealt with her grief. You know, I talked to somebody this week, and I won't say who, just because it's not proper, but I talked to somebody this week, and probably Monday, and they said they really needed to talk to me and contacted me at, I don't know, one o'clock in the morning on Sunday. Said, I really need to talk to you. I said okay, and it was through Messenger, and I answered it. It's somebody that I've known for many, many years. And I wondered what they wanted, you know. I wasn't sure what they wanted, but I wondered what it was. And Monday after, Monday mid-morning came along, and the person started writing me and telling me about their problems, why they wanted to talk. And what we're about to talk about here with Naomi is really the same reason they wanted to talk except this is a little more graphic because this person's close relative and loved one committed suicide. And I've known both of them for, well, the one for a long time, the one that committed suicide, I knew her for 24 years, ever since I was a boy, young boy, young man. Luke Sage. I talked to this young lady and she doesn't know how to deal with it. And she said it keeps her, she works nights and she said it keeps her up at night. Like while she's working she can't stop thinking about it. She thinks about her loved one that killed themself. She thinks about her nonstop and she can't get it out of her mind and her heart. And she's afraid. She's afraid that she's going to end up just like her. She feels very alone. And She's afraid of that feeling. And I'm watching this, and that's why I'm preaching this now, because it broke my heart to listen to that. It made me weep. I sat here, I sat right here, that desk was set up right here, or that table was set up right here. I sat here and I cried like a baby when she was texting me. Because she's, Reaching out and I thank God that she is and I thank God that she did reach out and she did get a hold of me and she's talking that's good. And there you know there's a lot of things you can say to people that time and I'm going to give you some instructions about how to deal with that. But anyway. It's just it's sad. It's sad to see that sad to see somebody you know She needs the Lord. She needs to be saved. Listen to me, I'm gonna tell you something right now, no matter what anybody tells you, it's not enough for people that they have children to live because this lady that did that, she had young babies and she still hung herself. Do you understand that? So telling somebody that's enough isn't always enough. See, that's the ministry. Do you understand? That's the ministry. Not playing games online with spooky videos and dealing with stuff like that. No, it's answering the phone at three o'clock in the morning because somebody wants to die. That is the ministry. So people can make all their little fake videos and do all their nonsense out there and play all those games, but that's not real life. 3 o'clock in the morning, answering that phone call. That's real life. That's as real as it gets right there. I'm going to tell you something. That ain't the first time I've done it. It won't be the last. I can guarantee you. And Elimelech, Naomi's husband, died, and she was left and her two sons. And they took them wives of the women of Moab. The name of the one was Orpah, and the name of the other Ruth. And they dwelt. They dwelt there about ten years. And Malon and Chilian died also, both of them, and the woman was left of her two sons and her husband." Imagine this, if you would, please. Here's a lady that is moved. Her husband moves her to a strange country. Right? She goes to dwell with the Moabites, right? So she leaves the place where she's at. She's in a strange country. Her husband dies. Then her two sons die. What does she do with all that grief? Where does it go? How did she handle it? Well, she handled it wrong. But it's pretty extreme, isn't it? It's a lot to go through. What grief that would cause. She never had time to properly grieve the death of her husband, because then her two boys died as well. Verse number 20, it says, And she said unto them, Call me not Naomi, call me Mara, for the Almighty hath dealt very bitterly with me. I went out full, and the Lord hath brought me home again empty. Why then call ye me Naomi, seeing the Lord hath testified against me, and the Almighty hath afflicted me? She didn't know how to deal with it. Oh, don't be too hard on her. You've never been in that place, have you? But you know what? There's some of you here tonight that you've had loved ones die. And I'm just wondering, how are you dealing with that grief? How have you dealt with it? You have loved ones that are hurt, that are sick, that are in pain, that are suffering. You've had things happen to you. You have that grief. How are you dealing with that grief? Are you dealing with it biblically? Or are you just completely internalizing that? If you don't deal with death properly, then you'll become bitter. I'm gonna tell you that, you'll become bitter. You know, Naomi was not wrong in tracing all her changes and conditions to God, but she erred in ascribing any bitterness to God in his treatment of her. God allowed it to happen, but he wasn't bitterly dealing with her. I don't believe that she grieved properly. One of the biggest problems I see among people today in this fast-paced life that we live in, they do not take time to properly grieve the death of a loved one. And if you do not, it will eat you up inside and cause bitterness in your heart. It'll destroy you. You know, dealing with death is never easy. Dealing with loved ones that go on sooner than we believe that they should or tragically is very difficult to accept. You want to know one of the steps in grieving and to get that grief out? One of the definitions of how to express that grief is to mourn. You know, we don't ever have a time of mourning for anything anymore. It's like we move on to the next thing. All these people die in Vegas, and boom, they're ready to move on to the next story. Society and life just steamrolls and continues to move on, and we never have time to properly grieve anything and deal with anything. But in the Bible you see a time of mourning that took place when someone died. Turn to Genesis chapter 23. A season of grief, that's right, of mourning. Genesis chapter 23, and Sarah, excuse me, and Sarah died in Kirjatharba, the Sabaeus Hebron in the land of Canaan. And Abraham came to mourn for Sarah and to weep for her. He mourned for her and he wept for her. How about Genesis chapter 27? Turn there, please. Genesis chapter 27 verse number 41. And Esau hated Jacob because the blessing with his father blessed him. Whoops, I think I got the wrong one maybe. Maybe this is the right one. Oh no, this is right, excuse me. And Esau said in his heart that days of mourning for my father at hand, then will I slay my brother Jacob. So in this verse we see that there are days of mourning that take place. Right? They actually spent time mourning their dead and weeping and sorrowing over the dead. Not to sorrow as others who have no hope, but nevertheless, we have to properly grieve the death of a loved one. You know, here's the thing that we do today in this fact, well, you know what? They're going to heaven or they're this or that, so I'm over it. No, you're not over it. It's not that easy. You don't get over things like that. If you love people, you're not gonna get over things that easy, okay? Things are not gonna be, you don't get over that that easy. Even though they're in heaven, you're still gonna miss them. You're still going to mourn them. Now, we don't mourn in sorrow as we, we don't sorrow as the world does as we have no hope, but there is nothing wrong with weeping and wailing and crying and getting it out of your system and taking time to do that. That's not weakness. You know they mourned Jacob's night 70 days in Genesis chapter 50 verse number 3 and 40 days were fulfilled for him and so are fulfilled the days of those which are embalmed and the Egyptians mourned him three score in 10 days. Numbers chapter 20 verse number 29 says this and when all the congregation saw that Aaron was dead they mourned for Aaron 30 days even all the house of Israel. Are you are you catching this? What does that mourn mean? Now listen to this. Remember what grief means? All right, Joshua, what does grief mean? Remember the definition of grief? Pain of mind. Okay, now you know what mourn means? It means to express grief. You see that? The definition of mourn means to express grief. So you express that pain of mind. You get it out. You express it. I have a real problem with somebody and it frightens me half to death when I see people that don't mourn when someone dies that they love or they know or they're supposed to love or they're very close to it. In fact, It could mean that that person, because they didn't mourn, maybe that grief is inside of them and it's causing them to do things they shouldn't do. Maybe act out of character. Maybe when you think that somebody doesn't care, maybe it's that no, they've just internalized it all and they're not willing to let it go. And that grief will eat you alive. Mm hmm. So to mourn means to express grief or sorrow, to grieve, to be sorrowful. Mourning may be expressed by weeping, listen, or audible sounds, or by sobs, sighs, or inward silent grief. What did the Israelites do during a mourning period? It's a good question. Let's talk about that. Deuteronomy chapter 34, verse number eight. You know, how did they mourn? What did they do during that grieving and mourning period? The Israelites grieved for Moses in the plains of Moab 30 days until the time of weeping and mourning was over. The normal mourning period for a person in Jewish culture was seven days. Turn to Genesis chapter 50, verse number 10. Man, you can't get seven minutes out of that. We can't even get to a funeral half the time. Right? We're so busy, we can't even get to a funeral. Barely pay our respects for five seconds. Then act like it's over and we're done with it. Genesis chapter 50 verse number 10, and they came to the threshing floor of Atod, which is beyond Jordan. And there they mourned with a great and very sore lamentation. By the way, there's a whole book called Lamentations, right? What is that? It's a book of weeping, right? Lamenting, weeping. Right? And he made a mourning for his father seven days. So it says seven days. When they reached the threshing floor, it says, that's when he did that. For a greater well-known person, a longer mourning period may have been in common, just like we've seen the 70 days with Jacob. In the case of Moses, the Israelites mourned for 30 days. It's uncertain what specific mourning practices were in place at the time Moses died, but Judaism includes elaborate practices of mourning the loss of a loved one. Jews often practice the rending or tearing of garments. Right? Traditionally, a person is buried the same day as his or her death, followed by seven days of mourning, a special meal of condolence. Listen, it kind of sounds familiar, doesn't it? A special meal of condolence is provided after the burial. Mourners, listen, mourners remain in the house of mourning with friends and family throughout the week. Prayers are offered and readings from the Bible are shared or the Torah for them. Memorial candles are often lit. I'm not telling you to do all these things, I'm telling you that's what they did. I'm showing you that they actually understood that there was a time of grief and mourning. It wasn't just over and move on, go back to work and get your life back together and act like nothing ever happened. And then continue to internalize all of this pain and sorrow and suffering in your heart and never get it out, never deal with it. Traditional grooming stops, as do marital relations, so they fasted from those things, okay? Entertainment and regular study. In some cases, mourners waited 30 days before cutting their hair. What were they doing? They were showing that it bothered them, okay? That they were bothered, that they mourned, they wept. Like David, when you look at David, when Abner was killed, He wept for Abner. He rent his clothes. He wept for Abner. Why did he? I believe he rent his clothes. I can't remember, but I think he did. But he showed that it was not of the king that Abner should die. He made sure the people understood that he mourned him. Right? He expressed that. He wept. He wept for Jonathan and Saul. You say, how in the world did David weep for Jonathan and Saul? Well, he loved him. You think he loved Saul? Sure he did. Saul was his father-in-law. Yeah, but he tried to kill him. Yeah, but David didn't care. David still loved him. He's a type of Christ. David said, I won't lay a hand on him. And he wouldn't, because he loved him. The New Testament speaks of mourning. mourners loud wailing. For example, when Jesus came to the home of the synagogue ruler whose daughter had died, the people were mourning, right? Turn to Mark 5, 38, please. Do you understand that it's not wrong to weep and to mourn? Says here, and he cometh to the house, verse number 38, and he cometh to the house of the ruler of the synagogue and seeth the tumult and them that wept and wailed greatly. Says they wept and they wailed. You ever wailed? I have. Mm-hmm. I sure have. Many times. Mourning sometimes includes shaving one's head or putting ashes or dust on the head in addition to rending garments. These actions communicated to everyone that the person was in mourning. Jeremiah 25, 34 mentions the actions of a mourner and a judgment on evil rulers. Talks about weeping and wailing over the shepherds for your time to be slaughtered has come. So there was a, you know, what happened here? They had a celebration of that life, but then what did they do? They ate together, they mourned, they talked about that person, they memorialized that person, right? They wept over them. They spent time together as a family and as people together, weeping over the loss of someone to get over it. So what do we do now? We send people to therapy. Yeah, and what do they do? What do they do? They go talk to somebody. Well, I'm going to help you with something, okay? If you have a family and they're going through that, you're the somebody to talk to. You're the one to talk to. Yeah, it is. And instead of having people that have to go to therapy and take psychomeds, what do you do? You all sit down and you talk about it. Well, nobody wants to talk about it. Well, that doesn't matter, they have to. Got to get it out, got to deal with it. Got to talk about it when a tragedy happens, when somebody dies, when a car accident, when somebody's death. Got to talk about it. Got to get it out. Right? That's what starts to heal. I have taken grief and internalized it and it will drive you insane. It'll make you go nuts. You'll think you're crazy. How about Job? Job chapter 2 verse number 13. They sat down with him upon the ground seven days and seven nights and none spake a word unto him for they saw that his grief was very great. But notice they sat seven days and seven nights with him. Now they didn't do a very good job after that. But they sat seven days and seven nights and they were afraid to say anything to him. They didn't want to say anything to him because they knew his grief was great. Right, they watched him. Seven days, seven nights. The last thing somebody needs to do is be alone during that. The first thing they're going to want to do is be alone, usually. That's the last place for them to be. Right? They need to be with people. They need to talk to people. Why do you think the Jews did that? They had everybody come together, they all mourned, and they all stopped doing their other things that they did, and they all took the time and they healed together. Because they could properly close that out and get some peace with it. Right? That's what has to happen. Not to hold it in, but to express it and to get it out and deal with it. Not hold it in and act like it doesn't affect you when it turns you bitter. Listen to me, you are not stronger for suppressing your emotions, but you are stronger by expressing them. Do you understand that? I didn't say losing your emotions or losing control completely, but you know what, there's a time for that too. I don't mean in anger, I mean in weeping. There's a time when you just need to weep and let it all go. Man, I've been around people that had to do that. You just gotta let them do it. They need it. They have so much pain in their mind, in their heart, that they gotta get it out. They can't hold it in, because it'll kill them. You wanna know why people have heart attacks? You want to know why people get sick? Stress. One of the number one ways that somebody gets sick, stress and sorrow in their heart that turns to, that starts to turn. And we're going to talk about what it turns into. What does the Bible say? You know, remember I told you this? I'm going to back this up with scripture. I said, you're not stronger for suppressing your emotions, but you are stronger by expressing them. Matthew chapter 5 verse number 4, blessed are they that mourn for they shall be comforted. See that? God says to mourn. Jesus wept. Right? He wept when he saw their unbelief. Right? He wept for them. Lazarus, that's where he wept. He wept very hard. If you don't mourn, then you won't be blessed. You've got to mourn. You've got to mourn properly. Next, number three or four, whatever number it is, many times we don't properly grieve over the tragedy or loss of loved ones or loss of anything, friendships. There are times that we will lose a friend. I'm talking about they betray you. They turn their back on you. It's never wise to suppress that hurt and pain and not mourn over the loss of a friend. I've lost many friends in serving the Lord. I've seen many over the years turn their back and walk away. It's not an easy thing to take. That's why I talk about it. Some of these people don't think it's politically correct to talk about it. Well, I've never been that anyway, so not much will change with that. But the one thing I do understand is that together as a church, we feel better when we talk through those things and we dealt with those things. When we dealt with the loss of those, we dealt with our wrongs and our rights and what we needed to do and what happened and we got through it. Why? Because we dealt with it. Right? And you don't heal properly until you come back and you're able to get through it. Somebody said, we shouldn't talk about anything. You know, that doesn't work. Sorry, that don't work. Now there's a time when you need to be done with that. And we hit that time and we were done. But we had to get through some things. See, we were the one with deep pain and loss. We weren't showboating on a video. Because we were the ones that were hurting. You know, if you suppress those emotions or feelings and don't properly grieve, it'll turn to anger and resentment. and a hard heart. Losing a spouse is one of those things that can really do that. I've never lost a spouse, but I have seen in the Bible where that's taken place and the great pain that's caused. I've seen others that have. In cases of divorce, when you've loved them and cared for them and they betrayed so deeply, that brings on grief and sorrow and loss and pain. A father, a mother dying. friends you've lost along the way for serving the Lord. Job dealt with the loss of family, the loss of life, the loss of property, and he had to continue to serve the Lord, and he had to grieve properly. He had to get it out. His friends were always trying to shut him up. Do you ever notice that? That's the last thing you can do is tell somebody to shut up when they're grieving. You don't want them to do that, right? You don't want them to shut up. You want them to keep talking. Right, when somebody's grieving like that, turn to Job, please. You want people to grieve. You don't want them to internalize those things. It's very dangerous to do that. You know, people pent up those emotions for years like that. How many of you have pent up things in your heart that you've never dealt with? You got some pain and some sorrow in your heart and you never dealt with it. You just kicked the can down the road and thought it'd go away. It don't go away. That's right. It don't go away. Job chapter three. After this, after all that happened to him, in verse number 13 in chapter two, it says, so they sat down with him upon the ground seven days and seven nights, and none spake a word unto him, for they saw that his grief was very great. They could see the grief on him. After this, opened Job his mouth and cursed his day. Boy, that's a tough spot. And Job spake and said, Let the day perish wherein I was born, and the night in which it was said, There is a man child conceived. Let that day be darkness. Let not God regard it from above, neither let the light shine upon it. Let darkness in the shadow of death stain it. Let a cloud dwell upon it. Let the blackness of the day terrify it. As for the night, let darkness seize upon it. Let it not be joined unto the day of the year. Let it not come to the number of the months. Low, let that night be solitary. Let no joyful voice come therein. Let them curse it, that curse the day, who are ready to raise up their morning. Let the stars of the twilight there be dark. Let it look for light, but have none. Neither let it be the drawing, the dawning of the day. Because it shut not up the doors of my mother's womb, nor hid sorrow from mine eyes. Job said, I wish I was never born. Now that's some sorrow. That's some grief. But he's getting it out. Right? He's getting it out. Why died I not from the womb? Why did I not give up the ghost when I came out of the belly? Why did the knees prevent me or why the breast that I should suck? For now should I have lain still and been quiet. I should have slept. Then had I been at rest. That's interesting, by the way. with kings and counselors of the earth which built desolate places for themselves, or with princes that had gold who filled their houses with silver. Or as in hidden, untimely birth, I had not been as infants which never saw light. By the way, those infants which never saw light, yeah, those are babies. You see that? Those are life, Peter Ruckman. Oops. Did you see that? Infants, it says. That's never saw light. Yeah, there you go. That wasn't very hard. There the wicked cease from troubling, and there the weary be at rest. There the prisoners rest together. They hear not the voice of the oppression. The small and great are there, and the servant is free from his master. Wherefore is light given to him that is in misery, and life unto the bitter and soul? See what he's doing? He's lamenting. Jeremiah did the same thing. He lamented. He wept. He cried. He howled. Which long for death, but it cometh not. and dig for it more than for hid treasures, which rejoice exceedingly and are glad when they can find the grave. Why is light given to a man whose way is hid and whom God hath hedged in? For my sign cometh before I eat, and my roarings are poured out like the waters. For the thing which I greatly feared has come upon me, and that which I was afraid of has come unto me. I was not in safety, neither had I rest, neither was I quiet, yet trouble came. So what's his friend say? Then Eliphaz the Temanite answered and said, If we assay to a commune with thee, wilt thou be grieved? But who can withhold himself from speaking? Behold, thou hast instructed many, and hast strengthened the weak hands. Thy words have upholden him that was falling, and thou hast strengthened the feeble knees. But now it has come upon thee, and thou faintest. What a nice guy. What a Baptist. I mean, he's like, what a, man, I've met these guys. I've met a few of them. They're preaching now. They're pastors somewhere. I've met a few of these guys. I've heard that same thing right there. Uh-huh, I've heard that. I'm serious. It's like a playbook they used or something. It's scary. You're supposed to not do this, not use it. Right? They're supposed to not do this, right? Not use it. Well, hey, there it is. I think I'll try it. He says, It toucheth thee, and thou art troubled. Well, of course he's troubled. He lost everything in front of him, you idiot. What are you expecting? To be happy? See how there's no consideration at all? And they wanted him to shut up. Oh, stop expressing your grief, right? And then he accuses him. Remember, I pray thee, whoever perished being innocent, or where were the righteous cut off? Come on, Job, you're guilty. You did it, Job. We know you did something. I don't know what you did, Job, but you did something. Right? There's the conspiracy. There's the YouTube comments. Right? Here we go. Right? I'm just telling you, hey, that's it. Even as I have seen they that plow iniquity and so wickedness reap the same. So they're just accusing him. All right, they're just accusing him of all these things, right? Well, that's not accurate. But his friends would shut him down every time he told them something that they kept telling him he was wrong. But listen, one of the lessons we learned from this is what? Let people grieve. They need time to grieve. Don't tell them, oh, you just need to get over it. No. You don't just get over things like that. That's not how you get over it. You don't get over it by not talking about it ever. loss of friends and family and all those things. How about betrayal? Betrayal when you love people and they betray you. How about Psalm 55? Turn to Psalm 55, 12. The extreme turmoil of heart and soul when you are betrayed. For it was not an enemy that reproached me, then I could have borne it. Neither was it he that hated me that did magnify himself against me, then I would have hid myself from him. But it was thou, a man mine equal, my guide and mine acquaintance. We took sweet counsel together and walked into the house of God in company. Let death seize upon them. Let them go down quick into hell for wickedness is in their dwellings and among them. As for me, I will call upon God and the Lord shall save me. Evening and morning." Now look at this. Evening and morning and at noon will I pray and cry aloud and he shall hear my voice. That's how you express grief. You cry aloud to God and you get it out. You know, Jesus, you know, sometimes part of expressing grief, listen to me, sometimes the part of expressing grief is asking God why. Sometimes that's part of it. Right? That's what Jesus did. Didn't he? Jesus said in Psalm 22, my God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me? David said it too, didn't he? David wrote it. Why art thou so far from helping me and from the words of my roaring? Why was he roaring? Crying. Oh my God, I cry in the daytime, but Thou hear us not. And in the night season, am I not silent? But Thou art holy, O Thou who inhabitest the praises of Israel. Our fathers trusted in Thee. They trusted and Thou didst deliver them. They cried unto Thee and were delivered. They trusted in Thee and were not confounded. But I am a worm and no man, a reproach of men and despise of the people. All they that see me laugh me to scorn. This is Jesus on the cross, by the way. They shoot out the lip, they shake the head, saying, He trusted on the Lord that he would deliver him. Let him deliver him, seeing he delighted in him. But thou art he that took me out of the womb. Thou didst make me hope when I was upon my mother's breast. I was cast upon thee from the womb. Thou art my God from my mother's belly. Be not far from me, for trouble is near, for there is none to help. Many bulls have compassed me, strong bulls of Bashan have beset me round. They gaped upon me with their mouths, as ravening and roaring lions, I am poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint. My heart is like wax, it is melted in the midst of my bowels. My strength is dried up like a potsherd, and my tongue cleaveth to my jaws. And thou hast brought me into the dust of death. For dogs have compassed me, the assembly of the wicked have enclosed me. They pierce my hands and my feet. I may tell all my bones, they look and stare upon me. They part my garments among them and cast lots upon my vesture. But be not thou far from me, O Lord, my strength. Haste thee to help me. Deliver my soul from the sword, my darling, from the power of the dog. Save me from the lion's mouth, for thou hast heard me from the horns of the unicorn. I will declare thy name unto my brethren in the midst of the congregation while I praise thee. David is dealing with some things, but this is a messianic prophecy, right? It's dealing with the future. It's dealing with what Jesus did on the cross. And what did Jesus say? He said, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me? He wanted to know why. He knew why. It was written for our admonition, right? And the way he was addressing God there was not Father, but God, right? A covenant, right? That's a covenant situation. That's a covenant expression there. But if you look at that, Jesus is crying out there, why? You know, I don't think it's wrong to ask God why. I think it's wrong to believe God's wrong. I don't believe it's wrong to ask God why. Sometimes we don't understand. You know? That's part of properly grieving, I believe, is crying out to God. You know, I've been in different situations in my life, and the only way I've ever gotten through them is to cry out to God. To get alone and to cry out to God. And it wasn't until I got alone with God and cried out to him for hours that I got out the grief and the tears and the fear that I was able to start to heal properly. Holding it all in doesn't do it. It'll never work. It'll eat you up. It'll destroy you. Grieving and mourning properly the loss of a friendship is important. It's important to healing. David encouraged himself in the Lord, but he spent many nights wetting his couch with tears and crying out to God for him to come near to him when he felt alone and that God was far away from him. Emotions and grief and fear pent up inside us will bring fear to us. When tragedy happens, we have to properly grieve it. The loss of a baby, a miscarriage, the loss of a friendship, or even great distress of losing one's job or health. We need to grieve those things properly, understand how to deal with those things. Some of you have not grieved and mourned the loss of loved ones properly and it's caused bitterness and strife in the heart, a lot of anger. Anger happens when grief is not dealt with properly. People become very angry. They have pain of mind and they become angry. You cannot deny, denial is another way people do not deal with grief properly. They act as if they're not bothered by tragedy or loss of life, loss of a friendship, loss of a relationship, families that are broken up and can't talk to one another. They act like that doesn't bother them, like, I'm all right with it. No, you're not. Nobody's all right with that. It's not how God made us. God didn't make us to be all right with those things. He made us to love one another. And when you love people, you hurt. When you love deep, you hurt deep. That's how it works. But better to love deep and hurt deep than never to love at all. Any day. You gotta ask God to strengthen you through your grief and cry out to him. You know, the lost, they don't grieve like we do. They can't grieve like we do. Lost people sorrow as there is no hope when death comes. That's how they handle death. The Bible says, but I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that you sorrow not, even as others which have no hope. Can you imagine some of those folks trying to get through the grief of people that, why do you think there's so many suicides out there? So many people taking their lives. So many people on psychotropics and antidepressants and everything else, why? Because they can't handle the grief and sorrow. And the only remedy to that is Christ. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him." Amen? That's the promise of the resurrection. The lost sorrow with worldly sorrow, and they'll never see their loved ones again. They're lost and they have no hope of the resurrection. We that have hope, we still sorrow, but not to the depths of despair that they do. We have hope. That's not a maybe, that's a promise. That's Bible hope, it's different than Barack Obama's hope and change. Right? But the poor lost out there, they deal with family members who commit suicide, they've got no hope. Poor, miserable creatures without the hope of salvation. They need the Lord, they need the power of God, they need salvation. Those people need to grieve properly as well, but they need Jesus more than anything. That's why we've got to give them the gospel. You know, there's another side of preaching the gospel that you've got to understand, and one that we ought to express out on the streets as well. And that's talk to people about their grief and their sorrow out there. Because some of those people, yeah, they're all wicked sinners on their way to hell. But some of those people are brokenhearted. Some of those people are not just rebellious, angry people, but they're people with a broken heart. Most of them are. Most of them have lost friends, lost loved ones that have died and went on before them. They've been tragically harmed or hurt or abused or anything else. And part of preaching, and that's what I'm gonna talk to you about, part of preaching is binding up what? Brokenhearted. Preaching liberty to who? Captives. Right. We're going to talk about that. We're going to break those down. I'm going to show you what. Preaching, that's right. What God said about preaching. He's talking to lost people there. What they need. They must be born again, that's what they need. All right, lastly here tonight, how can I help those that are grieving or need to grieve? Well, number one, you can be there for them. Be a sympathetic ear that'll listen. God gave you two ears and one mouth, so then use them accordingly, right? Don't over-talk them like Job's friends did, but just listen, right? When someone suffers loss and needs to grieve or has not grieved properly, they reach out to someone in despair and they feel alone. Be there, whether it's night or day, at a phone call, a text, or in person. Be there. Be someone they can talk to. Be ready to minister to them for as long as it takes them to get through that grieving process. Right? It's not going to happen overnight. Be ready to minister to them. Remind them of the Master who is able to cheer them and comfort them. The Bible says the Holy Ghost is the comforter. Right? Isaiah 53 says what? Surely he hath borne our griefs and carried our sorrows. Introduce them to the Savior. That's who they need. Tell them that he bore our griefs and carried our sorrows. Yeah, we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted, but he was wounded for our transgressions. He was bruised for our iniquities. The chastisement of our peace was upon him, and with his stripes we are healed. Remind them of the man of sorrows, and that he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows. Pray for them. Pray for them. Pray with them. Pray for them. Psalm 2517 says, the troubles of my heart are enlarged. Oh bring thou me out of my distresses. Psalms 107 verse 6 says, then they cried unto the Lord in their trouble and he delivered them out of their distresses. They need the Lord. They need the Lord. That's the only way you can help them. But how about you? What about you? How about the grief that you need to deal with? Is there? Is there pent up emotions and sorrow and pain that you've never really dealt with, you never got right? You never took it to the Lord and got it right? If there is, maybe it's a loss of a loved one, somebody you loved. You never grieved properly for them, you never let yourself grieve for them. You know, sometimes you just gotta, you know, losing friends, sometimes you just gotta weep. I just have to. I've done it many times since I've lost many friends in the ministry. Just sit there and weep and cry over it. Cry out to the Lord. Because it isn't easy. God made us to love people. And when you get saved, you've been given the heart of God to love people. And you're going to grieve just like he grieved. And you need to weep just like he wept. Amen? That's important. You ought to be concerned if you don't ever weep for things like that. If you're not ever heartbroken over things like that. It doesn't mean you're tough either. Right? Some people think they're tough because they don't cry. I've told people before. Somebody told me that the other day. They said, well, you know, I try to be strong so I don't cry. I said, well, that'll make you stronger. That makes you weaker. That's gonna make you weaker. You know, yeah, real men cry. Real women cry. Real people that love cry. They don't have a heart of stone. I'm more concerned with people that never cry. They don't ever cry. They're never brokenhearted. Their heart's never broken over anything. They're never sorrowful over anything like that. Right? There ought to be a time when you You do that. And listen, if that is you and you need to do that, you better get along with God and you better get along. You better weep and cry and grieve and mourn properly. Part of that getting over something is mourning that. Properly mourning. That's very important. Father, Lord, thank you. I pray, Lord, it helps someone. I pray that he'd help us to take it to heart. and learn from Your Word and grow and be able to assist and help others through that. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.