I have been waiting for this. My wife asked me, are you ready for this third session? I said, the question is, are you ready? Ladies, do I want you to feel the love that from your heavenly father, like in first Peter, chapter three, verse seven, where God says, you know, husbands dwell with your wives, live with them in an understanding way. or according to knowledge, grant them honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life so that your prayers will not be hindered. That word hindered means blockaded. And it's almost even though God's talking to men in that particular verse, I want you to kind of feel the sensation of listening in on that. It's almost like God comes to the wife and he puts his arm around her and then he says to the husband, you had better treat this woman right. or it messes up what you and I have going on. Your prayers will be blockaded. I will not listen to your prayers if you mistreat this woman. If you do not grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life and dwell with her according to knowledge. And as a woman in the arms of your Heavenly Father and listening to Him talk to your husband in that way, I just want you to go, man, my Heavenly Father loves me. And He's looking out for me. And if that Heavenly Father that then speaks to you and says, hey, here's what I need from you in your marriage relationship. Marriage is invented by me and it's my intellectual property. I define it and I make the rules. And here's what I've patterned it after. I've patterned it after the gospel. And I've told your husband what I need from him for you to have a glorifying, God-glorifying marriage. And now I want to talk to you about what I need from you in order so that I might be able to look at your marriage and say, this is what I invented marriage to be. Be sobered, ladies, by the power that you possess. The Scripture actually affirms this. So much in Scripture to women is a nod to the power that women possess. Nancy lay Demas says, the more I study the ways of God, the more sobered I am by the incredible influence we as women have for better or for worse, for good or for evil. You possess enormous power in the church and in the lives and in the hearts of your husband. And think about it. You know, you think about what happened in the fall. The serpent, Satan, went to Eve first. He didn't go to Adam. But his first point of attack was with the woman. And you want to be sobered by the fact that, you know what, if the devil is going to attack our home, it may very well be that I am the first place of attack. He's going to get to me. And if he can get to me, he knows that I can get to my husband and I can drag him down. I can drag our children down. So, you may be the first line of defense. You may be the first point of attack. And the reason that the devil often will go to the woman first and bring her down is because he knows the power that the woman possesses in the life of her husband and in the home. So be encouraged by the love of God for you, how he's looking after you as you listen in on what he says to the the husbands and also be sobered by the power you possess. And your thought should be, I want to use this power for good. Let me just read 1 Peter 3, 1 through 6. Peter says, Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. Do not let your adornment be merely outward, arranging the hair, wearing gold or putting on fine apparel. Rather, let it be the hidden person of the heart with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves being submissive to their own husbands as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, whose daughters you are. If you do good and are not afraid with any terror. What I want to do with the time we have is kind of walk you through five instructions to help you endear the gospel to your husband. And the very first instruction is that exact point, and that is make it your ambition to endear the gospel to your husband each day. Peter actually is implying that. that your role in your marriage is predominantly to endear the gospel to your husband. Look what he says in verse one. Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if some, in other words, even if some husbands do not obey the word. Now, the issue is that when Peter in First Peter uses the expression the word, you know what he's thinking about? The gospel. He's not thinking about the canon of scripture, although by extension, we could certainly go there. But in Peter's mind, the word is the gospel. In fact, look down at the last verse on page 13. Like back in chapter one, Peter says, being born again, not of corruptible seed, but of incorruptible by the word of God. When Peter says word, he's talking about that seed by which we were born again, which is the gospel. That would be a logical inference just from the context there. But then he makes it very clear. He says, "...which liveth and abideth forever. For all flesh is as grass, and all the glory of man as the flower of grass. The grass withereth, and the flower thereof falleth away. But the word of the Lord endureth forever." And the question is, well, what is that word that endures forever? What is the word by which we were born again? What is the word which was the seed by which we were born again? He now makes it very clear, at the very end of chapter 1, He says, and this is the word, literally in the Greek text, which was gospeled to you. The word that I'm talking about is the gospel word. It is the message of the gospel. And so, coming back up to 1 Peter 3, verse 1, what he's saying is, be submissive to your own husbands, so that even if some husbands are not obeying the gospel, they may be one. to the gospel by the behavior of their wives. Now, it might seem weird that Peter says obeying the gospel, but actually that's not unusual at all. Paul in First Thessalonians 1.8 refers to those who do not obey the gospel. And even later in First Peter, chapter four, verse 17, Peter says, For the time is come that judgment must begin at the house of God. And if it first begin at us, what shall be the end of them that obey not the gospel? of God. And that Greek word obey is exactly the same word that we see in chapter 3, verse 1. In fact, the word obey in chapter 3, verse 1, as well as in chapter 4, verse 17, it's the word that means to be persuaded. It can have the idea of obedience, but it's an obedience that is born of persuasion and of belief. And so technically, the idea is so that even if your husband is one who is unpersuaded by the gospel, he may be one, he may become persuaded to the gospel by the behavior of the wife. Now, it's just intriguing. that Peter says, hey, wives, be submissive to your husbands. And and here's why I want you to be submissive to your husband, because even if your husband is presently in an unpersuaded place with regard to the gospel, he's not believing the gospel. And so he's envisioning a nonbelieving husband. All right. That husband may be persuaded and become a believer in the gospel simply by observing your behavior. You might say, well, man, that's a great promise for a wife whose husband is a nonbeliever, but it doesn't say a lot to me. Actually, it should say a lot to you. Peter here is citing a worst case scenario. He's going to the farthest extreme and imagining the worst case scenario of a woman whose husband is completely unpersuaded by the truth, the glory and the beauty of the gospel. And he's saying, even if your husband is over here on this extreme, he can become persuaded by the beauty and the glory and the truth of the gospel as he observes your behavior. For those of you that do have Christian husbands, You need to realize that Peter is citing the worst case scenario, which means anything in the whole spectrum that is to a lesser extent would also be included. He goes to this extreme to just say, hey, everything is included. Even if your husband is a believing husband, he still daily needs to be persuaded towards the beauty and the glory and the truth of the gospel. I'm a saved man. I've been in the ministry for a number of years. It is a daily battle for me to be persuaded by the gospel and to actually believe it. Sometimes I just disbelieve gospel truths, or sometimes I want to believe it, but it's like, man, can God really forgive me for what I've done? I mean, there have been times where I've been so overwhelmed by the guilt of my sin that I've been inconsolable. And it's like, can God really forgive me for what I've done? Does He really love me? And there are moments where it's like hard to be persuaded of that. I want to believe it. I want to grasp it. But it's like it's a battle to believe that. And so your husband, whether you think about it or not, even as a believing man, every day needs to be persuaded towards the beauty, the glory and the truth of the gospel. He is fighting that fight every day. I'll never forget a number of years ago. I don't know why, but some sins from from years ago, just came back to haunt me. And I was inconsolable. I had gone to a men's group meeting, and then I was on my way to the church office on a Wednesday morning, and I was preaching the gospel to myself, and it's like, just trying to rehearse gospel truth. I started singing, Just As I Am, Without One Plea, just the truths in that song to get them to sink in, and I couldn't get that load off of me. And I finally, I just picked up my cell phone sitting in the church parking lot, and I called Donna, and I said, I don't know why, I'm just, I can hardly talk. I said, I'm just overwhelmed with the guilt of my sin, and I need you to pray for me right now. And she, just on the phone, just spoke God's grace, God's forgiveness, and then she prayed over me. And it lifted. The whole burden lifted. And God used her in my life in that moment to help persuade me that I'm forgiven. To persuade me of the glory and the beauty and the truth of the Gospel. So just realize, even if your husband's a believer, he's fighting a fight every day to believe the Gospel and to be persuaded by it. And that your husband is probably laboring daily just under thoughts of condemnation Does God love me? Does God forgive me? Am I really free in Christ? And God has put you in his life to help him become persuaded of the glory, the power and the truth of the gospel. And he expects a wife to go, you know, he's saying, submit to your husband. And he says, let me tell you how powerful you doing this can be in terms of him really being persuaded of the glory, the truth. and the beauty of the Gospel. He says, because even if your husband is a non-believer, a total non-believer, which includes everything less on the spectrum, he can be one to faith in the Gospel, to being persuaded of Gospel truth just by observing your behavior. So realize the power that you possess. And when you get up in the morning, it's like, I want to play a role in the life of my husband to help him to see. I want to be a living embodiment of Gospel truth. I want to be a force. in his life, a gospel force in his life. I want to be someone that God uses to help my husband to grow strong in faith in the gospel. I mean, imagine your husband just walking in the good of the gospel, believing in God's love, believing in God's forgiveness, that all of his condemnation has been wiped away through the cross, and so he's walking in God's grace, and he's got a ton of grace to give to other people, and to give to you whenever you fail. And to give to the children, what woman would not want a man who is living in the good of the gospel each day? And Peter says, ladies, you have a significant role to play in being used by me to persuade your husband to just be a deeper and deeper gospel believer, fully persuaded of the truth of the gospel for him. in his life. So make that your ambition. And so what do I want to do today as a woman of God that can just help endear the gospel to my husband? So make that your ambition, but then, number two, endear the gospel to your husband by submitting yourself to him. So he's saying, submit to your husbands, and here's the reason why, because here's the gospel benefit of that. Here's what can take place in his heart towards the gospel if you submit yourself to him. So he doesn't just say, hey wife, submit to your husband. Why, Lord? Because I told you so. Just submit, just do what I say. No, do this because of something great that that submissive spirit can wield and accomplish in the heart of your husband with regard to the gospel. It serves God's gospel purposes when you submit to your husband in the appropriate way. Now, what submit does not mean? Let's just real quickly look at this. It does not mean that men are to subject their wives. There's nowhere in the New Testament where God says husbands subject your wives. Men are not commanded to subject their wives. Women are commanded to submit. But it does not mean that men subject their wives. It also does not mean that women are inferior to men. In fact, this command implies equality. This is a command that is spoken to someone who is actually an equal. And it's a command to place oneself underneath. In other words, you place yourself underneath, you're right here, you're equal to your husband, arrange yourself underneath the leadership of your husband in the home. Okay. So it implies equality and a decision is made by the woman to step from that position of equality in terms of being positionally underneath her husband. And it does not imply inferiority. In fact, if it does, then it would mean that Jesus Christ was inferior to his father, because in 1 Corinthians 15, 28, that same word is used to speak of Christ submitting himself to his father. In Luke 2, 51, Christ submitted himself to his earthly parents, Joseph and Mary. Was he inferior to them? No, but he arranged himself underneath them. He was actually superior to them and arranged himself underneath. When we're commanded to submit to the governing authorities, That doesn't mean that we're inferior to our police officers or to our government officials. It's just God tells us to step down and be underneath them positionally for the operating of an orderly society. So women, this does not imply that you are inferior in any way. It also does not mean that wives are to do whatever their husband says, even if it's wrong. You are only to submit insofar as submitting does not mean that you're violating a clear command of scripture. And then it also does not mean that wives can never voice concern, criticism or disagreement with their husband. It just means that when they do so, they do so in a way that's colored by a submissive disposition. In fact, I told my wife before we got married, that if I am ever being a jerk, I'm commanding you to tell me that. I want to know that." And my wife has fulfilled that calling with excellence throughout our married life. But I wanted that. It's like, I need you to call me on things if I'm being a jerk. And I've even told my kids that. If I'm ever being a jerk, I want you to tell me that. And there's been a few times They've been real nervous. They're like, Dad, you remember how you told us a long time ago that if you're ever being a jerk to tell you and well, like I'm thinking that right now is one of those times. And and and they're very respectful. But, you know, the times where that's occurred, I've had to repent in front of them and say, you're right, you're right. And and I stand here. So it doesn't mean that you just got to be a doormat and you can't speak up and voice concerns, even criticism or disagreement. But it does shape the way you go about doing that. What submit does mean, it means that women are to arrange themselves underneath the leadership and the authority of their husbands. That's the essential definition of the word submit. Involved in that, number two, is that wives are to fight and be victorious over the violent desire within them to master their husbands. It's like we talked about, you know, last night. When you look at a submissive woman who's in a biblical, godly way, submissive to her husband, that's a powerful woman. That is a strong, it's the strongest of women who can do this, who can do battle against that violent desire that is in them as a result of the fall and be victorious over that. My greatest admiration is towards women who have just perfected the art of submission, knowing the battles that they've had to fight and win to get to that good place. And number three, in terms of what it does mean, it means that women are to submit themselves to the purposes for which God has given them to their husbands. See, some women submit is just something they do occasionally when push comes to shove. rather than being a way of life. They just kind of get up. They just do what they want to do. And then occasionally there will be an issue that they and their husband will disagree on. And the husband says, no, it's got to be this way. It's like, okay, I'll submit. Like submission is kind of a mode you kick into occasionally when push comes to shove and there's a disagreement. That's not the biblical picture. Submission is to be a way of life. You get up in the morning and you see yourself in this way, underneath the leadership and the authority of your husband, and you realize, God has given me to my husband for a purpose, and that is to be his helpmeet, and so I embrace that. I surrender to that. And God's creation of Eve, I mean, God said, that it is not good that the man should be alone, I will make him a helper that is meet for him. In other words, a helper that corresponds to him in terms of his needs. And so Eve was there to complete him and to be a help to him. And a part of what it means for a wife to submit to her husband is to submit to that purpose for which God has given her to her husband, Wayne Mack, in his book, Strengthening Your Marriage, says this I think better than I've ever read. He says, Submission means that the wife puts all of her talents, abilities, resources, energy at her husband's disposal. Submission means that the wife yields and uses all of her abilities under the management of her husband for the good of her husband and family. Submission means that she sees herself as a part of her husband's team. She is not her husband's opponent fighting at cross purposes or trying to outdo him. She is not merely an individual going her own separate way. She is her husband's teammate striving for the same goal. And so a woman says, you know, I've got gifts, I've got abilities, I've got time, I've got resources. I will surrender myself and all that I have, all the gifts and abilities and resources I have to serve my husband and to be a help to him as a significant player on this team that includes my husband and I. That's a woman who is doing submission as a way of life. So getting up in the morning, how can I help my husband? How can I be a significant player on this team? How can I use my resources, my talents, my abilities to be a help to my husband? Now, why submit? Well, because when rightly done, submission is a most powerful way to influence, to influence the heart of your husband towards God and the gospel. That's what Peter says in verse one. If you do this, ladies, it'll, It'll endear the gospel to your husband in ways you can't even imagine. It will it will persuade your husband. It will help him to believe and be persuaded by the glory and the truth and the beauty of the gospel. There's a third thing, a third instruction. And that is, endear the gospel to your husband by being sexually devoted to him. Endear the gospel to your husband by being sexually devoted to him. He says in chapter 3, verse 2, he says, so that even if your husband is disobedient to the word, he may be won without a word by the behavior, by the conduct of the wife, look at this, as they observe your chaste conduct. Chaste conduct. So, to be submissive, Also includes the idea of I give myself sexually to my husband and I save myself entirely for my husband. I belong to him. My body belongs to him. This speaks of sexual fidelity. So a woman is not out committing adultery. A woman is not giving her heart away. to any other man. A woman is not reading books that are causing her heart, at least in her mind, to go astray and to be fantasizing with thoughts of other men, but it's a woman who says, I will give my body to my husband. My body doesn't belong anywhere else other than giving it to my husband. I will be sexually devoted to him. There are women who withhold their bodies. from their husbands because they don't believe their husbands are deserving of their bodies because maybe the husband is failing in some way. But I want you to see how the gospel reshapes that. You know, a woman's praying, God, help my husband to believe that Christ died for him. Help my husband to believe the glories of the gospel. Help my husband to believe that Christ gave his body over in death. Christ gave. He surrendered his body for the salvation of my husband. And then that same woman's mentality is my husband ain't getting this body until he shapes up and starts treating me how I deserve. Aren't you glad that Christ didn't withhold his body until we deserved for him to surrender his body and death? You want your husband to really believe that Christ surrendered His whole being, even in His incarnation, over for your husband? You actually have a beautiful way to just mirror that grace and that self-giving. through being sexually devoted to your husband, surrendering your body to him. Don't underestimate. It's just amazing God goes here. It's like, I want your husband to be persuaded of the glory, the beauty and the truth of the gospel. And so here's what I want you to do, ladies. I need you to submit to your husband. And here's what all that means. And also, I want you to be sexually devoted to your husband. And so as you're doing that, God's like, OK, this is perfect. I know the power of this. in the heart of your husband and helping him to see the glory and the beauty and the truth of the gospel. Also, endear the gospel to your husband by being respectful towards him. Endear the gospel to your husband by being respectful towards him. He says, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear, this word fear, it's the Greek word for respect. Some translations say, respectfulness, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. So ladies, respect your husbands. What does that mean? It means you speak to him respectfully. So whenever you're talking to your husband, speak to your husband respectfully. It means that you speak of him to others respectfully. So your husband needs to know that when you're not in his presence and he ever comes up in a conversation that you are respectful in the way that you represent him and speak about him to other people, to where his heart can safely trust in you in that way. His reputation is safe in your care. Also, think of him respectfully. So not just speak to him and speak to others of him respectfully, but even think of him respectfully. It's interesting that Peter makes reference to Sarah. He says who called him Lord. The amazing thing is the occasion Peter is referring to Sarah wasn't even talking to Abraham. Did you know that she was in her tent and she heard a conversation through the tent about the fact that they're going to have a child, you know, at this point next year, she'll be conceiving and having a child. And she's in the tent. She's not even in a moment of faith. This isn't her strongest moment. And she's like, how can this be me being old and my Lord being old also? She's just thinking and talking to herself. And she doesn't even know that anyone hears her. And she's thinking of her husband respectfully. even in a moment of weakened faith. So, speak to your husband respectfully, speak of him to others respectfully, and think of him respectfully. And I'll tell you a great way to help you think of your husband respectfully. Do for him what I just challenged men to do for you, and that is see your husband in the context of the gospel. Just read Gospel Truth in Ephesians 1, 2, and 3, Colossians 1 and 2, and Romans chapter 5 and 6, And eight and God gives you ample material to to look at your husband through the lens of those truths. And if you can see your husband that way, you're going to have a ton of respect for him as you look at him in the context of his gospel past, gospel present and gospel future. Also, voice ideas, concerns and disagreements. Respectfully, when you're disagreeing with him on something, don't come off like, you know, you're an idiot. And here's the right way to think about this. Just be careful how you come across. Also, respect what is good in him. Be a lover of good, ladies. And any good thing that you see in your husband, make a big deal out of that. Respect the good that is in him. And then, lastly here, give him a respectful reputation to live up to. Actually, respect your husband even a little more than what he deserves and let him know that how you view him and give him something to live up to. Men really respond to that. If you if they've got a reputation to live up to and they know someone views them in a certain way, they may be thinking, man, I'm not all that, but I want to be. And it encourages them to to rise to the occasion and be what how they're being viewed. You guys know who Earl Herscheiser is the pitcher for the Dodgers, who are my mother-in-law's favorite baseball team. But He had a nickname, Tommy Lasorda nicknamed him Bulldog. And that's all I knew when Herrscheiser was playing. And then sometimes in real intense situations, I'd see Herrscheiser on the mound and he's got this mean look on his face and he looked like a bulldog. And no matter what the situation was, he was just fierce and determined and wouldn't back down from anybody. And I'm like, man, I can see why Tommy Lasorda nicknamed him Bulldog. Well, I found out later the story And the truth of the matter is, Hersheiser was anything but a bulldog. But Tommy Lasorda, the manager, wanted to instill that mentality in Hersheiser. And he gave him that nickname and said, this is how I view you. This is who you are. And he just pumped that mindset into him. And Tommy Lasorda gave Hersheiser a nickname to live up to. And it was amazing to watch Hersheiser actually becoming that on the mound in many intense situations. And so I'm not saying call your husband Bulldog, or to come up with nicknames. But the point is, let your respect for him actually be a little bit ahead of where he actually might be right now. Give him something to live up to. Men really respond to respect. You know that. One of the greatest ways that you as a wife can love your husband is to love him in the form of respect. Can I add one more thing to the list? Be respectful of the differences between you and your husband. Your husband's different than you are. He thinks differently than you. And a lot of wives are sitting around waiting for their husband to grow up and mature and think exactly like she does. That's probably never going to happen. And you probably don't want that to happen. Your husband's different. He processes things differently than you. He processes feelings differently than you. When you have feelings, you speak them out loud, right? And you articulate them. And and then when you're done articulating your feelings, you feel like, oh, I'm glad that's out of me. And you walk away feeling better in your husband that you just articulated all of that on is like overwhelmed by by all that you have spoken to him. A husband will process his feelings often just internally, and he doesn't want to speak them out loud because he doesn't want to give those feelings life. And I'm not saying as men that it's okay to never speak your feelings at all. I'm not making excuses there. I'm just saying to the wives, just respect the fact that he may process his feelings differently than you process them. And the fact that he's not speaking them and processing them the way you do doesn't mean he doesn't have feelings. We actually do have feelings. And you just have to accept that by faith sometimes. But there's a lot going on in here. And just accept that by faith. And also, someone was telling me recently, they read somewhere where someone likened a woman's brain to spaghetti. You ever heard that? Women are spaghetti. Men are what? Waffles. And so like for a woman, everything's connected. Everything's always connected. And sometimes you'll sit down with your husband to, you know, there's a problem in the marriage. And you'll start describing the problem. And by the time you're done, you've just traveled everywhere. It's all connected. And your husband's like, there's no solution for this. I mean, we're done. Our marriage is over. And that's not what your intention is. But men, we're like waffles. It's compartmentalized. And understanding that difference, if you can come to your husband and just say, you know, honey, you know, we've got a good thing going. Here's an area that I'd like to bring to your attention. and just give it to them in a bite-sized chunk that's manageable, you actually will end up getting far greater results with that approach. Just a bite-sized piece at a time, rather than this everything's connected kind of approach. So just respect the fact that there are differences and that's by divine design. God made your husband to think differently than you. Okay? Hurrying on here. Number five. The gospel to your husband by making yourself beautiful for him and dear the gospel to your husband by making yourself beautiful for him. First Peter three. Do not let your adornment be merely outward. That word adornment is the Greek word cosmos. And then even later, he says, women who trusted in God also adorned themselves. That's the verb form of cosmos. The idea is, he's saying, beautify yourselves, women. Don't beautify yourselves necessarily with You know, think depending on jewelry and wearing gold, putting on fine apparel and doing stuff with your hair. It's all great to do that. But he's saying, don't depend upon that to make you beautiful. Instead, beautify yourself with the qualities of a gentle and a quiet spirit. So he's saying, be beautiful. God's saying, be beautiful for your husband. Because it'll serve my gospel purposes if you do that. And you might say, OK, I want to be beautiful. So what do I need to do to my hair and everything? God said, you know what? That's great. Do all of that. But be adorning yourself, be beautifying yourself with the qualities of a gentle and quiet spirit. At the end of the day, that's the ultimate way to a man's heart. The word cosmos is the word we get our word cosmetic from. the cosmetics of a gentle spirit and a quiet spirit. This word speaks of an orderly arrangement, an orderly system. That's the idea of a cosmos and even cosmetics. What are you doing when you're using cosmetics, ladies? You're trying to create an orderly arrangement, right? In fact, some ladies will say, let me go arrange my face. They're trying to create a cosmos, something that is orderly, and that is attractive and beautiful as a result of that. And so if the cheeks are too low, through the miracle of cosmetics, they can raise them up. If their lips are not large enough, they can make them seem larger with lipstick. If there's blemishes, they can cover those up. And by the time a woman is done, she's got this cosmos that is intended to be beautiful. And Peter is saying, beautify yourself with a gentle and quiet spirit. Look at this gentleness. It speaks of something that is amiable, friendly versus rough or bad tempered. A quiet spirit is a spirit that is calm, peaceful, tranquil versus restless, rebellious and disturbing. Be the kind of person that when problems, difficulties come, you have a diminishing effect on those problems rather than You know, when it gets to you, it tends to get blown up as a result of your response. The value of this, it's described in the text as incorruptible. Gentle and quiet spirit is incorruptible. This is one aspect of beauty that will never age. Though physically you may grow old and wrinkled and gray, your physical beauty may diminish. This is incorruptible. It's imperishable. You will only become more and more beautiful to your husband And then also it's precious in the sight of God. That's the second item there under their value, precious in the sight of God. In other words, God thinks this is beautiful. And sometimes I talk to women whose husbands are just in a bad place. And this woman's a godly woman and the husband's not respecting or appreciating that. And I have to tell women in those situations, remember, God's the third member of your marriage relationship. Just be this way. Even if your husband doesn't recognize it, just enjoy being beautiful in the eyes of God. Enjoy the fact that God looks upon you and says, there goes a beautiful woman. God is saying to his angels, look at that woman right there. She is beautiful. If you want to catch the eye of God, by your beauty than have a gentle and quiet spirit. That's where God's eyes go. He's like, oh, wow, look at that beautiful woman. And most of the time, your husband will respond ultimately to this kind of beauty. But even if he doesn't just enjoy being beautiful in the eyes of God, that God thinks you're beautiful by having this gentle and quiet and submissive and chaste and respectful disposition. In order to do this, go to letter D and then I'll come back to C real quick. In order to be able to do this, ladies, you have to have your hope in God. We don't have time to look at this, but in the passage, Peter speaks of women of old who put their trust in God. The only way you're going to be able to be this way is you have to have your confidence in God. Don't put your confidence in your husband. You put your confidence in God. And God is the one who has control over the heart of your husband. So let God be your confidence. And if you have your confidence in him, he says you won't be afraid with any terror. God gets it. He understands that to do these things actually for a woman is often terrifying. Living with an imperfect man who often doesn't lead the way he's supposed to and he messes up and and I need leadership from my husband and he's not providing that. But I'm supposed to be all of this. There are women that we talk to at our church out in California that are just terrified of true submission. But God says, listen, it would make no sense and you should be terrified if I weren't in the picture. But I want you to do this for me. OK, put your hope in me, not in your husband, and just be this and do this. With your confidence in me and I will take care of your husband. In fact, someone has said that submitting to your husband is simply God wants you to submit so that you don't get in the way when he goes after your husband. And there's a lot of women that are getting in God's way, trying to micromanage and to change their husbands when God is saying, listen, how about you be you and let me be me? All right. You just you do what I'm telling you to do here. And and I can do a much better job. in changing the heart of your husband than you can. But you in this role that I'm giving you, you can be extremely powerful. Now, let me close with a secret about men. All right. You can write this down. Men will do anything for a beautiful woman. Men will do anything for a beautiful woman. Put on your refrigerator if you need to, ladies, that beauty is power. Beauty is power. If Peter in all of these instructions is not putting women down, Peter's actually showing you the path to power over the heart of your husband. If you actually do this, you will have scary power over the heart of your husband to such a degree that you actually have to be careful. I know of women who seek to live this out to such a degree that when their husband comes to them wanting advice and counsel, the woman has to be careful because she knows whatever she's going to say, the likelihood is her husband's going to turn around and do that. So they know the power they possess and they have to be careful with that. Peter is trying to elevate you to a position of enormous influence and power in the life of your husband. And here's the path to that power. Some women try to gain that power through ugliness. Now, no woman would say, I want to be ugly, right? But often a woman will choose ugliness over beauty because ugliness will get me what I want right now. And so they will choose to be ugly and come across in an ugly way, be verbally ugly in their whole demeanor. And the husband sees that and it's like he gives in and she gets what she wants. So even though none of you ladies would say you ever want to be ugly, I think as you look back over the history of your marriage, you would probably say, yeah, I can see how many times I've chosen ugliness. I preferred ugliness to beauty because ugliness got me what I wanted, at least in the short term. But ultimately, beauty, the kind of beauty that Peter's talking about is the true path to power. But all of this, Peter's not just saying do this and you'll get what you want, ladies. He's saying the agenda is be this way towards your husband, because this is God's agenda for you. This is how God wants you to play a role in the life of your husband, to endear the gospel to him. So just dream a little bit, imagine a husband and wife who see their need for the gospel, a husband who daily is seeking to be a living embodiment of the gospel towards his wife and a wife who is daily seeking to endear her husband to the gospel. And the gospel is the power of God. It is the ultimate location where God's power resides and does its greatest work. That is a marriage that is on fire. That is a marriage that is exploding with the glory and the beauty of the gospel. That's what I want for my marriage. And I feel like Donna and I are in kindergarten in terms of figuring all of that out. But what we have learned has been tremendously exciting. And we're on that journey. I know many of you are on that journey, and I'd like to pray for us as we close that God will just help us to have marriages that are on fire with the glory of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Let's pray together. Lord, as we close our time today, we thank you for all that you have said to us, the perspective that you have provided for us from your word, Lord, you've designed marriage after the pattern of the gospel, which means that it's actually the ultimate location in which we display the gospel before a watching world. It's the ultimate location through which we display the gospel in the church. Here at Burge Terrace, Lord, all the families represented and the couples represented, just Lord, if each of these marriages, Though they stumble along in so many ways, if just the beauty and the grace and the glory of the gospel is just shining forth in ever increasing measure from each of these marriages, how powerful can that be? What warmth and growth and healing could that bring? What warmth and comfort and security could that bring to the children represented by these marriages? what lives could be changed. May our children say, whenever they hear truths of the Gospel, may they say, listen, I have no trouble believing this because I see it with my eyes when I watch my mom and dad. I see the Gospel. I know what it looks like. I've seen it displayed beautifully in a very picturesque way as I watch their marriage. I see grace. I see forgiveness. I see dad being like Christ. being an embodiment of the crucifixion of the cross to my wife. I see my wife daily, or my mom daily, endearing deliberately the gospel to my dad. May they see this displayed, Lord. and experience the gospel in this way. Again, Lord, just finally, I just pray for these marriages represented in this room. Thank You for bringing these couples here. Thank You for their willingness to come. I pray that if there's any ways that any have fallen short, Lord, that You would just truly persuade them. May they be persuaded that this is what Jesus died for. And however far their marriage has fallen short, Though they should be so much further now as they look at where they're at now, and there's so much mess, so much growth that's needed. May they hear you, Jesus, say, I died to be the one. I got myself crucified to be the one to help you right now, right where you're at, and to take you from here. Thank you, Lord, for your love, your love for us, and your willingness to give up yourself that you might be our Lord and Savior and the healer of our marriages and the one who beautifies our lives. We thank you for these things, and we, in response, give ourselves and our marriages to you. We do so in Christ's name. And all God's people said, Amen.