00:00
00:00
00:01
Transcript
1/0
I have been waiting for this. My wife asked me, are you ready
for this third session? I said, the question is, are
you ready? Ladies, do I want you to feel the love that from
your heavenly father, like in first Peter, chapter three, verse
seven, where God says, you know, husbands dwell with your wives,
live with them in an understanding way. or according to knowledge,
grant them honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life so
that your prayers will not be hindered. That word hindered
means blockaded. And it's almost even though God's
talking to men in that particular verse, I want you to kind of
feel the sensation of listening in on that. It's almost like
God comes to the wife and he puts his arm around her and then
he says to the husband, you had better treat this woman right.
or it messes up what you and I have going on. Your prayers
will be blockaded. I will not listen to your prayers
if you mistreat this woman. If you do not grant her honor
as a fellow heir of the grace of life and dwell with her according
to knowledge. And as a woman in the arms of
your Heavenly Father and listening to Him talk to your husband in
that way, I just want you to go, man, my Heavenly Father loves
me. And He's looking out for me.
And if that Heavenly Father that then speaks to you and says,
hey, here's what I need from you in your marriage relationship. Marriage is invented by me and
it's my intellectual property. I define it and I make the rules.
And here's what I've patterned it after. I've patterned it after
the gospel. And I've told your husband what
I need from him for you to have a glorifying, God-glorifying
marriage. And now I want to talk to you
about what I need from you in order so that I might be able
to look at your marriage and say, this is what I invented
marriage to be. Be sobered, ladies, by the power
that you possess. The Scripture actually affirms
this. So much in Scripture to women is a nod to the power that
women possess. Nancy lay Demas says, the more
I study the ways of God, the more sobered I am by the incredible
influence we as women have for better or for worse, for good
or for evil. You possess enormous power in
the church and in the lives and in the hearts of your husband.
And think about it. You know, you think about what
happened in the fall. The serpent, Satan, went to Eve
first. He didn't go to Adam. But his
first point of attack was with the woman. And you want to be
sobered by the fact that, you know what, if the devil is going
to attack our home, it may very well be that I am the first place
of attack. He's going to get to me. And
if he can get to me, he knows that I can get to my husband
and I can drag him down. I can drag our children down. So, you may be the first line
of defense. You may be the first point of
attack. And the reason that the devil
often will go to the woman first and bring her down is because
he knows the power that the woman possesses in the life of her
husband and in the home. So be encouraged by the love
of God for you, how he's looking after you as you listen in on
what he says to the the husbands and also be sobered by the power
you possess. And your thought should be, I
want to use this power for good. Let me just read 1 Peter 3, 1
through 6. Peter says, Wives, likewise,
be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey
the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of
their wives when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied
by fear. Do not let your adornment be
merely outward, arranging the hair, wearing gold or putting
on fine apparel. Rather, let it be the hidden
person of the heart with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle
and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.
For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted
in God also adorned themselves being submissive to their own
husbands as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, whose daughters
you are. If you do good and are not afraid
with any terror. What I want to do with the time
we have is kind of walk you through five instructions to help you
endear the gospel to your husband. And the very first instruction
is that exact point, and that is make it your ambition to endear
the gospel to your husband each day. Peter actually is implying
that. that your role in your marriage
is predominantly to endear the gospel to your husband. Look what he says in verse one.
Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands so that
even if some, in other words, even if some husbands do not
obey the word. Now, the issue is that when Peter
in First Peter uses the expression the word, you know what he's
thinking about? The gospel. He's not thinking about the canon
of scripture, although by extension, we could certainly go there.
But in Peter's mind, the word is the gospel. In fact, look
down at the last verse on page 13. Like back in chapter one,
Peter says, being born again, not of corruptible seed, but
of incorruptible by the word of God. When Peter says word,
he's talking about that seed by which we were born again,
which is the gospel. That would be a logical inference
just from the context there. But then he makes it very clear.
He says, "...which liveth and abideth forever. For all flesh
is as grass, and all the glory of man as the flower of grass.
The grass withereth, and the flower thereof falleth away.
But the word of the Lord endureth forever." And the question is,
well, what is that word that endures forever? What is the
word by which we were born again? What is the word which was the
seed by which we were born again? He now makes it very clear, at
the very end of chapter 1, He says, and this is the word, literally
in the Greek text, which was gospeled to you. The word that
I'm talking about is the gospel word. It is the message of the
gospel. And so, coming back up to 1 Peter
3, verse 1, what he's saying is, be submissive to your own
husbands, so that even if some husbands are not obeying the
gospel, they may be one. to the gospel by the behavior
of their wives. Now, it might seem weird that
Peter says obeying the gospel, but actually that's not unusual
at all. Paul in First Thessalonians 1.8 refers to those who do not
obey the gospel. And even later in First Peter,
chapter four, verse 17, Peter says, For the time is come that
judgment must begin at the house of God. And if it first begin
at us, what shall be the end of them that obey not the gospel? of God. And that Greek word obey
is exactly the same word that we see in chapter 3, verse 1. In fact, the word obey in chapter
3, verse 1, as well as in chapter 4, verse 17, it's the word that
means to be persuaded. It can have the idea of obedience,
but it's an obedience that is born of persuasion and of belief. And so technically, the idea
is so that even if your husband is one who is unpersuaded by
the gospel, he may be one, he may become persuaded to the gospel
by the behavior of the wife. Now, it's just intriguing. that
Peter says, hey, wives, be submissive to your husbands. And and here's
why I want you to be submissive to your husband, because even
if your husband is presently in an unpersuaded place with
regard to the gospel, he's not believing the gospel. And so
he's envisioning a nonbelieving husband. All right. That husband
may be persuaded and become a believer in the gospel simply by observing
your behavior. You might say, well, man, that's
a great promise for a wife whose husband is a nonbeliever, but
it doesn't say a lot to me. Actually, it should say a lot
to you. Peter here is citing a worst case scenario. He's going
to the farthest extreme and imagining the worst case scenario of a
woman whose husband is completely unpersuaded by the truth, the
glory and the beauty of the gospel. And he's saying, even if your
husband is over here on this extreme, he can become persuaded
by the beauty and the glory and the truth of the gospel as he
observes your behavior. For those of you that do have
Christian husbands, You need to realize that Peter is citing
the worst case scenario, which means anything in the whole spectrum
that is to a lesser extent would also be included. He goes to
this extreme to just say, hey, everything is included. Even
if your husband is a believing husband, he still daily needs
to be persuaded towards the beauty and the glory and the truth of
the gospel. I'm a saved man. I've been in
the ministry for a number of years. It is a daily battle for
me to be persuaded by the gospel and to actually believe it. Sometimes
I just disbelieve gospel truths, or sometimes I want to believe
it, but it's like, man, can God really forgive me for what I've
done? I mean, there have been times where I've been so overwhelmed
by the guilt of my sin that I've been inconsolable. And it's like,
can God really forgive me for what I've done? Does He really
love me? And there are moments where it's
like hard to be persuaded of that. I want to believe it. I
want to grasp it. But it's like it's a battle to
believe that. And so your husband, whether
you think about it or not, even as a believing man, every day
needs to be persuaded towards the beauty, the glory and the
truth of the gospel. He is fighting that fight every
day. I'll never forget a number of years ago. I don't know why,
but some sins from from years ago, just came back to haunt
me. And I was inconsolable. I had gone to a men's group meeting,
and then I was on my way to the church office on a Wednesday
morning, and I was preaching the gospel to myself, and it's
like, just trying to rehearse gospel truth. I started singing,
Just As I Am, Without One Plea, just the truths in that song
to get them to sink in, and I couldn't get that load off of me. And I finally, I just picked
up my cell phone sitting in the church parking lot, and I called
Donna, and I said, I don't know why, I'm just, I can hardly talk.
I said, I'm just overwhelmed with the guilt of my sin, and
I need you to pray for me right now. And she, just on the phone,
just spoke God's grace, God's forgiveness, and then she prayed
over me. And it lifted. The whole burden
lifted. And God used her in my life in
that moment to help persuade me that I'm forgiven. To persuade
me of the glory and the beauty and the truth of the Gospel.
So just realize, even if your husband's a believer, he's fighting
a fight every day to believe the Gospel and to be persuaded
by it. And that your husband is probably
laboring daily just under thoughts of condemnation Does God love
me? Does God forgive me? Am I really
free in Christ? And God has put you in his life
to help him become persuaded of the glory, the power and the
truth of the gospel. And he expects a wife to go,
you know, he's saying, submit to your husband. And he says,
let me tell you how powerful you doing this can be in terms
of him really being persuaded of the glory, the truth. and
the beauty of the Gospel. He says, because even if your
husband is a non-believer, a total non-believer, which includes
everything less on the spectrum, he can be one to faith in the
Gospel, to being persuaded of Gospel truth just by observing
your behavior. So realize the power that you
possess. And when you get up in the morning,
it's like, I want to play a role in the life of my husband to
help him to see. I want to be a living embodiment
of Gospel truth. I want to be a force. in his
life, a gospel force in his life. I want to be someone that God
uses to help my husband to grow strong in faith in the gospel. I mean, imagine your husband
just walking in the good of the gospel, believing in God's love,
believing in God's forgiveness, that all of his condemnation
has been wiped away through the cross, and so he's walking in
God's grace, and he's got a ton of grace to give to other people,
and to give to you whenever you fail. And to give to the children,
what woman would not want a man who is living in the good of
the gospel each day? And Peter says, ladies, you have
a significant role to play in being used by me to persuade
your husband to just be a deeper and deeper gospel believer, fully
persuaded of the truth of the gospel for him. in his life. So make that your ambition. And
so what do I want to do today as a woman of God that can just
help endear the gospel to my husband? So make that your ambition,
but then, number two, endear the gospel to your husband by
submitting yourself to him. So he's saying, submit to your
husbands, and here's the reason why, because here's the gospel
benefit of that. Here's what can take place in
his heart towards the gospel if you submit yourself to him. So he doesn't just say, hey wife,
submit to your husband. Why, Lord? Because I told you
so. Just submit, just do what I say. No, do this because of something
great that that submissive spirit can wield and accomplish in the
heart of your husband with regard to the gospel. It serves God's
gospel purposes when you submit to your husband in the appropriate
way. Now, what submit does not mean? Let's just real quickly look
at this. It does not mean that men are to subject their wives.
There's nowhere in the New Testament where God says husbands subject
your wives. Men are not commanded to subject
their wives. Women are commanded to submit. But it does not mean that men
subject their wives. It also does not mean that women
are inferior to men. In fact, this command implies
equality. This is a command that is spoken
to someone who is actually an equal. And it's a command to
place oneself underneath. In other words, you place yourself
underneath, you're right here, you're equal to your husband,
arrange yourself underneath the leadership of your husband in
the home. Okay. So it implies equality
and a decision is made by the woman to step from that position
of equality in terms of being positionally underneath her husband. And it does not imply inferiority.
In fact, if it does, then it would mean that Jesus Christ
was inferior to his father, because in 1 Corinthians 15, 28, that
same word is used to speak of Christ submitting himself to
his father. In Luke 2, 51, Christ submitted himself to his earthly
parents, Joseph and Mary. Was he inferior to them? No,
but he arranged himself underneath them. He was actually superior
to them and arranged himself underneath. When we're commanded
to submit to the governing authorities, That doesn't mean that we're
inferior to our police officers or to our government officials.
It's just God tells us to step down and be underneath them positionally
for the operating of an orderly society. So women, this does
not imply that you are inferior in any way. It also does not
mean that wives are to do whatever their husband says, even if it's
wrong. You are only to submit insofar as submitting does not
mean that you're violating a clear command of scripture. And then
it also does not mean that wives can never voice concern, criticism
or disagreement with their husband. It just means that when they
do so, they do so in a way that's colored by a submissive disposition. In fact, I told my wife before
we got married, that if I am ever being a jerk, I'm commanding
you to tell me that. I want to know that." And my
wife has fulfilled that calling with excellence throughout our
married life. But I wanted that. It's like,
I need you to call me on things if I'm being a jerk. And I've
even told my kids that. If I'm ever being a jerk, I want
you to tell me that. And there's been a few times
They've been real nervous. They're like, Dad, you remember
how you told us a long time ago that if you're ever being a jerk
to tell you and well, like I'm thinking that right now is one
of those times. And and and they're very respectful. But, you know, the times where
that's occurred, I've had to repent in front of them and say,
you're right, you're right. And and I stand here. So it doesn't mean that you just
got to be a doormat and you can't speak up and voice concerns,
even criticism or disagreement. But it does shape the way you
go about doing that. What submit does mean, it means
that women are to arrange themselves underneath the leadership and
the authority of their husbands. That's the essential definition
of the word submit. Involved in that, number two,
is that wives are to fight and be victorious over the violent
desire within them to master their husbands. It's like we
talked about, you know, last night. When you look at a submissive
woman who's in a biblical, godly way, submissive to her husband,
that's a powerful woman. That is a strong, it's the strongest
of women who can do this, who can do battle against that violent
desire that is in them as a result of the fall and be victorious
over that. My greatest admiration is towards
women who have just perfected the art of submission, knowing
the battles that they've had to fight and win to get to that
good place. And number three, in terms of
what it does mean, it means that women are to submit themselves
to the purposes for which God has given them to their husbands.
See, some women submit is just something they do occasionally
when push comes to shove. rather than being a way of life.
They just kind of get up. They just do what they want to
do. And then occasionally there will be an issue that they and
their husband will disagree on. And the husband says, no, it's
got to be this way. It's like, okay, I'll submit. Like submission
is kind of a mode you kick into occasionally when push comes
to shove and there's a disagreement. That's not the biblical picture.
Submission is to be a way of life. You get up in the morning
and you see yourself in this way, underneath the leadership
and the authority of your husband, and you realize, God has given
me to my husband for a purpose, and that is to be his helpmeet,
and so I embrace that. I surrender to that. And God's
creation of Eve, I mean, God said, that it is not good that
the man should be alone, I will make him a helper that is meet
for him. In other words, a helper that
corresponds to him in terms of his needs. And so Eve was there
to complete him and to be a help to him. And a part of what it
means for a wife to submit to her husband is to submit to that
purpose for which God has given her to her husband, Wayne Mack,
in his book, Strengthening Your Marriage, says this I think better
than I've ever read. He says, Submission means that
the wife puts all of her talents, abilities, resources, energy
at her husband's disposal. Submission means that the wife
yields and uses all of her abilities under the management of her husband
for the good of her husband and family. Submission means that
she sees herself as a part of her husband's team. She is not
her husband's opponent fighting at cross purposes or trying to
outdo him. She is not merely an individual
going her own separate way. She is her husband's teammate
striving for the same goal. And so a woman says, you know,
I've got gifts, I've got abilities, I've got time, I've got resources.
I will surrender myself and all that I have, all the gifts and
abilities and resources I have to serve my husband and to be
a help to him as a significant player on this team that includes
my husband and I. That's a woman who is doing submission
as a way of life. So getting up in the morning,
how can I help my husband? How can I be a significant player
on this team? How can I use my resources, my
talents, my abilities to be a help to my husband? Now, why submit? Well, because when rightly done,
submission is a most powerful way to influence, to influence
the heart of your husband towards God and the gospel. That's what
Peter says in verse one. If you do this, ladies, it'll,
It'll endear the gospel to your husband in ways you can't even
imagine. It will it will persuade your
husband. It will help him to believe and
be persuaded by the glory and the truth and the beauty of the
gospel. There's a third thing, a third
instruction. And that is, endear the gospel
to your husband by being sexually devoted to him. Endear the gospel
to your husband by being sexually devoted to him. He says in chapter
3, verse 2, he says, so that even if your husband is disobedient
to the word, he may be won without a word by the behavior, by the
conduct of the wife, look at this, as they observe your chaste
conduct. Chaste conduct. So, to be submissive,
Also includes the idea of I give myself sexually to my husband
and I save myself entirely for my husband. I belong to him. My body belongs to him. This
speaks of sexual fidelity. So a woman is not out committing
adultery. A woman is not giving her heart
away. to any other man. A woman is
not reading books that are causing her heart, at least in her mind,
to go astray and to be fantasizing with thoughts of other men, but
it's a woman who says, I will give my body to my husband. My body doesn't belong anywhere
else other than giving it to my husband. I will be sexually
devoted to him. There are women who withhold
their bodies. from their husbands because they don't believe their
husbands are deserving of their bodies because maybe the husband
is failing in some way. But I want you to see how the
gospel reshapes that. You know, a woman's praying,
God, help my husband to believe that Christ died for him. Help my husband to believe the
glories of the gospel. Help my husband to believe that
Christ gave his body over in death. Christ gave. He surrendered
his body for the salvation of my husband. And then that same
woman's mentality is my husband ain't getting this body until
he shapes up and starts treating me how I deserve. Aren't you
glad that Christ didn't withhold his body until we deserved for him to
surrender his body and death? You want your husband to really
believe that Christ surrendered His whole being, even in His
incarnation, over for your husband? You actually have a beautiful
way to just mirror that grace and that self-giving. through
being sexually devoted to your husband, surrendering your body
to him. Don't underestimate. It's just
amazing God goes here. It's like, I want your husband
to be persuaded of the glory, the beauty and the truth of the
gospel. And so here's what I want you to do, ladies. I need you
to submit to your husband. And here's what all that means.
And also, I want you to be sexually devoted to your husband. And
so as you're doing that, God's like, OK, this is perfect. I
know the power of this. in the heart of your husband
and helping him to see the glory and the beauty and the truth
of the gospel. Also, endear the gospel to your husband by being
respectful towards him. Endear the gospel to your husband
by being respectful towards him. He says, when they observe your
chaste conduct accompanied by fear, this word fear, it's the
Greek word for respect. Some translations say, respectfulness,
as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. So ladies,
respect your husbands. What does that mean? It means
you speak to him respectfully. So whenever you're talking to
your husband, speak to your husband respectfully. It means that you
speak of him to others respectfully. So your husband needs to know
that when you're not in his presence and he ever comes up in a conversation
that you are respectful in the way that you represent him and
speak about him to other people, to where his heart can safely
trust in you in that way. His reputation is safe in your
care. Also, think of him respectfully. So not just speak to him and
speak to others of him respectfully, but even think of him respectfully.
It's interesting that Peter makes reference to Sarah. He says who
called him Lord. The amazing thing is the occasion
Peter is referring to Sarah wasn't even talking to Abraham. Did
you know that she was in her tent and she heard a conversation
through the tent about the fact that they're going to have a
child, you know, at this point next year, she'll be conceiving
and having a child. And she's in the tent. She's
not even in a moment of faith. This isn't her strongest moment.
And she's like, how can this be me being old and my Lord being
old also? She's just thinking and talking
to herself. And she doesn't even know that
anyone hears her. And she's thinking of her husband
respectfully. even in a moment of weakened
faith. So, speak to your husband respectfully,
speak of him to others respectfully, and think of him respectfully.
And I'll tell you a great way to help you think of your husband
respectfully. Do for him what I just challenged men to do for
you, and that is see your husband in the context of the gospel.
Just read Gospel Truth in Ephesians 1, 2, and 3, Colossians 1 and
2, and Romans chapter 5 and 6, And eight and God gives you ample
material to to look at your husband through the lens of those truths.
And if you can see your husband that way, you're going to have
a ton of respect for him as you look at him in the context of
his gospel past, gospel present and gospel future. Also, voice
ideas, concerns and disagreements. Respectfully, when you're disagreeing
with him on something, don't come off like, you know, you're
an idiot. And here's the right way to think about this. Just
be careful how you come across. Also, respect what is good in
him. Be a lover of good, ladies. And
any good thing that you see in your husband, make a big deal
out of that. Respect the good that is in him. And then, lastly here, give him
a respectful reputation to live up to. Actually, respect your
husband even a little more than what he deserves and let him
know that how you view him and give him something to live up
to. Men really respond to that. If you if they've got a reputation
to live up to and they know someone views them in a certain way,
they may be thinking, man, I'm not all that, but I want to be.
And it encourages them to to rise to the occasion and be what
how they're being viewed. You guys know who Earl Herscheiser
is the pitcher for the Dodgers, who are my mother-in-law's favorite
baseball team. But He had a nickname, Tommy
Lasorda nicknamed him Bulldog. And that's all I knew when Herrscheiser
was playing. And then sometimes in real intense
situations, I'd see Herrscheiser on the mound and he's got this
mean look on his face and he looked like a bulldog. And no
matter what the situation was, he was just fierce and determined
and wouldn't back down from anybody. And I'm like, man, I can see
why Tommy Lasorda nicknamed him Bulldog. Well, I found out later
the story And the truth of the matter is, Hersheiser was anything
but a bulldog. But Tommy Lasorda, the manager,
wanted to instill that mentality in Hersheiser. And he gave him
that nickname and said, this is how I view you. This is who
you are. And he just pumped that mindset into him. And Tommy Lasorda
gave Hersheiser a nickname to live up to. And it was amazing
to watch Hersheiser actually becoming that on the mound in
many intense situations. And so I'm not saying call your
husband Bulldog, or to come up with nicknames. But the point
is, let your respect for him actually be a little bit ahead
of where he actually might be right now. Give him something
to live up to. Men really respond to respect. You know that. One of the greatest
ways that you as a wife can love your husband is to love him in
the form of respect. Can I add one more thing to the
list? Be respectful of the differences between you and your husband.
Your husband's different than you are. He thinks differently
than you. And a lot of wives are sitting
around waiting for their husband to grow up and mature and think
exactly like she does. That's probably never going to
happen. And you probably don't want that to happen. Your husband's
different. He processes things differently
than you. He processes feelings differently
than you. When you have feelings, you speak
them out loud, right? And you articulate them. And
and then when you're done articulating your feelings, you feel like,
oh, I'm glad that's out of me. And you walk away feeling better
in your husband that you just articulated all of that on is
like overwhelmed by by all that you have spoken to him. A husband
will process his feelings often just internally, and he doesn't
want to speak them out loud because he doesn't want to give those
feelings life. And I'm not saying as men that
it's okay to never speak your feelings at all. I'm not making
excuses there. I'm just saying to the wives,
just respect the fact that he may process his feelings differently
than you process them. And the fact that he's not speaking
them and processing them the way you do doesn't mean he doesn't
have feelings. We actually do have feelings.
And you just have to accept that by faith sometimes. But there's a lot going on in
here. And just accept that by faith. And also, someone was
telling me recently, they read somewhere where someone likened
a woman's brain to spaghetti. You ever heard that? Women are
spaghetti. Men are what? Waffles. And so like for a woman,
everything's connected. Everything's always connected.
And sometimes you'll sit down with your husband to, you know,
there's a problem in the marriage. And you'll start describing the
problem. And by the time you're done,
you've just traveled everywhere. It's all connected. And your
husband's like, there's no solution for this. I mean, we're done.
Our marriage is over. And that's not what your intention
is. But men, we're like waffles. It's compartmentalized. And understanding
that difference, if you can come to your husband and just say,
you know, honey, you know, we've got a good thing going. Here's
an area that I'd like to bring to your attention. and just give
it to them in a bite-sized chunk that's manageable, you actually
will end up getting far greater results with that approach. Just
a bite-sized piece at a time, rather than this everything's
connected kind of approach. So just respect the fact that
there are differences and that's by divine design. God made your
husband to think differently than you. Okay? Hurrying on here. Number five. The gospel to your
husband by making yourself beautiful for him and dear the gospel to
your husband by making yourself beautiful for him. First Peter
three. Do not let your adornment be
merely outward. That word adornment is the Greek
word cosmos. And then even later, he says,
women who trusted in God also adorned themselves. That's the
verb form of cosmos. The idea is, he's saying, beautify
yourselves, women. Don't beautify yourselves necessarily
with You know, think depending on jewelry and wearing gold,
putting on fine apparel and doing stuff with your hair. It's all
great to do that. But he's saying, don't depend
upon that to make you beautiful. Instead, beautify yourself with
the qualities of a gentle and a quiet spirit. So he's saying,
be beautiful. God's saying, be beautiful for
your husband. Because it'll serve my gospel
purposes if you do that. And you might say, OK, I want
to be beautiful. So what do I need to do to my hair and everything?
God said, you know what? That's great. Do all of that. But be adorning
yourself, be beautifying yourself with the qualities of a gentle
and quiet spirit. At the end of the day, that's
the ultimate way to a man's heart. The word cosmos is the word we
get our word cosmetic from. the cosmetics of a gentle spirit
and a quiet spirit. This word speaks of an orderly
arrangement, an orderly system. That's the idea of a cosmos and
even cosmetics. What are you doing when you're
using cosmetics, ladies? You're trying to create an orderly
arrangement, right? In fact, some ladies will say,
let me go arrange my face. They're trying to create a cosmos,
something that is orderly, and that is attractive and beautiful
as a result of that. And so if the cheeks are too
low, through the miracle of cosmetics, they can raise them up. If their
lips are not large enough, they can make them seem larger with
lipstick. If there's blemishes, they can
cover those up. And by the time a woman is done,
she's got this cosmos that is intended to be beautiful. And
Peter is saying, beautify yourself with a gentle and quiet spirit.
Look at this gentleness. It speaks of something that is
amiable, friendly versus rough or bad tempered. A quiet spirit
is a spirit that is calm, peaceful, tranquil versus restless, rebellious
and disturbing. Be the kind of person that when
problems, difficulties come, you have a diminishing effect
on those problems rather than You know, when it gets to you,
it tends to get blown up as a result of your response. The value of
this, it's described in the text as incorruptible. Gentle and
quiet spirit is incorruptible. This is one aspect of beauty
that will never age. Though physically you may grow
old and wrinkled and gray, your physical beauty may diminish.
This is incorruptible. It's imperishable. You will only
become more and more beautiful to your husband And then also
it's precious in the sight of God. That's the second item there
under their value, precious in the sight of God. In other words,
God thinks this is beautiful. And sometimes I talk to women
whose husbands are just in a bad place. And this woman's a godly
woman and the husband's not respecting or appreciating that. And I have
to tell women in those situations, remember, God's the third member
of your marriage relationship. Just be this way. Even if your
husband doesn't recognize it, just enjoy being beautiful in
the eyes of God. Enjoy the fact that God looks
upon you and says, there goes a beautiful woman. God is saying
to his angels, look at that woman right there. She is beautiful.
If you want to catch the eye of God, by your beauty than have
a gentle and quiet spirit. That's where God's eyes go. He's
like, oh, wow, look at that beautiful woman. And most of the time,
your husband will respond ultimately to this kind of beauty. But even
if he doesn't just enjoy being beautiful in the eyes of God,
that God thinks you're beautiful by having this gentle and quiet
and submissive and chaste and respectful disposition. In order
to do this, go to letter D and then I'll come back to C real
quick. In order to be able to do this, ladies, you have to
have your hope in God. We don't have time to look at
this, but in the passage, Peter speaks of women of old who put
their trust in God. The only way you're going to
be able to be this way is you have to have your confidence
in God. Don't put your confidence in
your husband. You put your confidence in God. And God is the one who
has control over the heart of your husband. So let God be your
confidence. And if you have your confidence
in him, he says you won't be afraid with any terror. God gets
it. He understands that to do these
things actually for a woman is often terrifying. Living with
an imperfect man who often doesn't lead the way he's supposed to
and he messes up and and I need leadership from my husband and
he's not providing that. But I'm supposed to be all of
this. There are women that we talk to at our church out in
California that are just terrified of true submission. But God says,
listen, it would make no sense and you should be terrified if
I weren't in the picture. But I want you to do this for
me. OK, put your hope in me, not in your husband, and just
be this and do this. With your confidence in me and
I will take care of your husband. In fact, someone has said that
submitting to your husband is simply God wants you to submit
so that you don't get in the way when he goes after your husband. And there's a lot of women that
are getting in God's way, trying to micromanage and to change
their husbands when God is saying, listen, how about you be you
and let me be me? All right. You just you do what
I'm telling you to do here. And and I can do a much better
job. in changing the heart of your
husband than you can. But you in this role that I'm
giving you, you can be extremely powerful. Now, let me close with
a secret about men. All right. You can write this
down. Men will do anything for a beautiful
woman. Men will do anything for a beautiful
woman. Put on your refrigerator if you
need to, ladies, that beauty is power. Beauty is power. If Peter in all of these instructions
is not putting women down, Peter's actually showing you the path
to power over the heart of your husband. If you actually do this,
you will have scary power over the heart of your husband to
such a degree that you actually have to be careful. I know of
women who seek to live this out to such a degree that when their
husband comes to them wanting advice and counsel, the woman
has to be careful because she knows whatever she's going to
say, the likelihood is her husband's going to turn around and do that.
So they know the power they possess and they have to be careful with
that. Peter is trying to elevate you to a position of enormous
influence and power in the life of your husband. And here's the
path to that power. Some women try to gain that power
through ugliness. Now, no woman would say, I want
to be ugly, right? But often a woman will choose
ugliness over beauty because ugliness will get me what I want
right now. And so they will choose to be ugly and come across in
an ugly way, be verbally ugly in their whole demeanor. And
the husband sees that and it's like he gives in and she gets
what she wants. So even though none of you ladies
would say you ever want to be ugly, I think as you look back
over the history of your marriage, you would probably say, yeah,
I can see how many times I've chosen ugliness. I preferred
ugliness to beauty because ugliness got me what I wanted, at least
in the short term. But ultimately, beauty, the kind
of beauty that Peter's talking about is the true path to power. But all of this, Peter's not
just saying do this and you'll get what you want, ladies. He's
saying the agenda is be this way towards your husband, because
this is God's agenda for you. This is how God wants you to
play a role in the life of your husband, to endear the gospel
to him. So just dream a little bit, imagine
a husband and wife who see their need for the gospel, a husband
who daily is seeking to be a living embodiment of the gospel towards
his wife and a wife who is daily seeking to endear her husband
to the gospel. And the gospel is the power of
God. It is the ultimate location where
God's power resides and does its greatest work. That is a
marriage that is on fire. That is a marriage that is exploding
with the glory and the beauty of the gospel. That's what I
want for my marriage. And I feel like Donna and I are
in kindergarten in terms of figuring all of that out. But what we
have learned has been tremendously exciting. And we're on that journey.
I know many of you are on that journey, and I'd like to pray
for us as we close that God will just help us to have marriages
that are on fire with the glory of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
Let's pray together. Lord, as we close our time today,
we thank you for all that you have said to us, the perspective
that you have provided for us from your word, Lord, you've
designed marriage after the pattern of the gospel, which means that
it's actually the ultimate location in which we display the gospel
before a watching world. It's the ultimate location through
which we display the gospel in the church. Here at Burge Terrace, Lord,
all the families represented and the couples represented,
just Lord, if each of these marriages, Though they stumble along in
so many ways, if just the beauty and the grace and the glory of
the gospel is just shining forth in ever increasing measure from
each of these marriages, how powerful can that be? What warmth and growth and healing could
that bring? What warmth and comfort and security
could that bring to the children represented by these marriages? what lives could be changed. May our children say, whenever
they hear truths of the Gospel, may they say, listen, I have
no trouble believing this because I see it with my eyes when I
watch my mom and dad. I see the Gospel. I know what
it looks like. I've seen it displayed beautifully
in a very picturesque way as I watch their marriage. I see
grace. I see forgiveness. I see dad
being like Christ. being an embodiment of the crucifixion
of the cross to my wife. I see my wife daily, or my mom
daily, endearing deliberately the gospel to my dad. May they see this displayed,
Lord. and experience the gospel in this way. Again, Lord, just
finally, I just pray for these marriages represented in this
room. Thank You for bringing these couples here. Thank You
for their willingness to come. I pray that if there's any ways
that any have fallen short, Lord, that You would just truly persuade
them. May they be persuaded that this
is what Jesus died for. And however far their marriage
has fallen short, Though they should be so much further now
as they look at where they're at now, and there's so much mess,
so much growth that's needed. May they hear you, Jesus, say,
I died to be the one. I got myself crucified to be
the one to help you right now, right where you're at, and to
take you from here. Thank you, Lord, for your love,
your love for us, and your willingness to give up yourself that you
might be our Lord and Savior and the healer of our marriages and the one who beautifies our
lives. We thank you for these things,
and we, in response, give ourselves and our marriages to you. We
do so in Christ's name. And all God's people said, Amen.
For Wives: Evangelizing Your Husband
Series 2010 Couples Retreat
| Sermon ID | 1013101515201 |
| Duration | 48:05 |
| Date | |
| Category | Special Meeting |
| Bible Text | 1 Peter 3:1-6 |
| Language | English |
Add a Comment
Comments
© Copyright
2026 SermonAudio.