Just want to let you know that I got great help this week from a book. It wasn't really a book, but it is a book, I guess, a copied book that John let me use from Craig Glickman on this book, and then also from Matthew Henry. So some of the things I'll be referring to were from those places. As you know, we've been talking about sexual unity for a number of weeks now, and there probably isn't a better place to end than the Song of Songs in that regard. And as we move into this text, really, we're going to take three snapshots today from different stanzas, I guess you could call them, in the Song of Songs. The first one will be about a picture of the love of this couple and good reflection for us to see what it should look like, a godly love, from this inspired book. The second snapshot we will look at is when sometimes problems arise and how we should deal with that and how we should look upon that and we have a stanza that will help us in that regard and then we will finish by looking at what is true love and there is just a wonderful stanza on what true love in the Bible between a man and a woman is so We move to Psalm 4-7 and what we have leading up to Psalm 4-7 is characterized by a description of praises in the early part of chapter 4 of the man to his wife, praising her. in all of her beauty and all of His love towards her. It might be characterized, as we would call it today, in a foreplay of sense. It's not a rush, but it's a wonderful expose on Him preparing for what they are about to do. And He is the one that works in this preparation. And so after this praise and after this preparation for this intimacy that they will have, we finish verse 6 and verse 7 says, as a kind of culmination of the praises that He has just given her, you are altogether beautiful my darling and there is no blemish in you. This love that he has for his beloved, his wife, his bride, is such that he now sees her with new eyes, not just for what she is, but for what she will become. And then in verse 8, he says, come with me from Lebanon, my bride. May you come with me from Lebanon, journey down from the summit of Amana, from the summit of Sinir and Hermon, from the dens of lions, from the mountains of leopards. Somebody once said that Hermon might have been one of her old boyfriends and he was trying to get her not to think about Hermon. But really, that was Glickman. So, the fact is, though, that where is she coming from? She is to move away from somewhere that she was. And the interesting thing about the places that she's moving away from or to move away from, they're all good places in the Bible. For instance, Lebanon is called the Goodly Mountain in Deuteronomy 3.25. Also in Isaiah 35, we read about the glory of Lebanon. It was a wonderful, great place. It was a place that smelled beautiful, we see in Hosea. In Psalm 133, it talks about the pleasant dew of Hermon. And also in Psalm 89, the joy of Hermon. So why would He be calling her to move away from these beautiful places? Well, it's a call here in an image that she's to leave these places and now cleave to Him. Allegorically, it would be taught as that you must leave this world and its pleasures for something better. There's a taking of current pleasures and moving and replacing those for new pleasures and for the kinds of pleasures that God has intended for His people. The interesting thing, too, about these places that are mentioned here is that they're all on the other side of the Jordan. They weren't in the Promised Land, but they were on the other side of the Jordan. She was to leave those places now and draw close to Him. those places which had lions' dens. There were dangers in those places. It's kind of a similar passage also when we studied Psalm 45 a few weeks back in verse 10 where the bride was told to forget your people and your father's house. Then we move into verse 9. And notice here that things are not hurried. We read, you have made my heart beat faster, my sister, my bride. There's a marriage covenant play. You have made my heart beat faster with a single glance of your eyes, with a single strand of your necklace. One of the things that can bring disharmony to sexual unity is when husbands see the sexual act as a vending machine. You know, you put your quarter in and you make your selection. And what this whole passage has led up to is the fact that It is not to be rushed. What you're doing is dignified and you need to take time to prepare, to move away from the busyness that perhaps filled your day and to move into the frame of mind and to prepare one another. We read on in verse 10, how beautiful is your love. Notice the appreciation, my sister. My sister was an affectionate term for wife in the ancient world. My bride, how much better is your love than wine, and the fragrance of your oils than all kinds of spices? Your lips, my bride, drip honey. Honey and milk are under your tongue, and the fragrance of your garments is like the fragrance of Lebanon. A garden locked is my sister, my bride, a rock garden locked, a spring sealed up. Your shoots are an orchard of pomegranates with choice fruits, henna with nard plants, nard and saffron, calamus and cinnamon, with all the trees of frankincense. Myrrh and aloes along with the finest spices. You are a garden spring, a well of fresh water in streams flowing from Lebanon. Notice all the byproducts here of this love. What is wine but to cheer a man, we read in Judges 9.13. And here in the song we are told that her love is better than wine. The perfumes signify gifts and graces she grants while pleasing to her husband. The smell of her garments signifies his complete acceptance of her. He's pleased with her. Those that point to an allegory in this instance would say that these garments represent the clothes that are purified when Christ clothes us in His robes. Honey and milk. Notice that long before the French came onto the scene, there was French kissing. Honey and milk. She edifies Him with her passionate love. Throughout the scriptures, milk and honey signify what? They signify blessing. In fact, these were the staple commodities, honey and milk of the promised land. This sweet love is blessing. And then also, this imagery of garden. The woman in her anatomy is compared to a garden. Before the fall, we have to think back of the perfect garden, the place that was inviolable, which here represents a fidelity. Notice that there's a fountain in this garden. True love is perpetually watered. It's like the artesian well. It doesn't run dry, but it continues to flow. It continues to get better. That's the picture. Perpetually watering, increasing love and affection, it only gets better. And also notice that it's a fenced garden. It's a secure place. It's set apart. That's the picture of this couple in their love. Allegorically. It would be compared, as one commentator noted, to John 4.14. Whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst, but the water that I shall give him shall become in him a well of water, springing up to eternal life. This is the kind of water that lasts. The fountain doesn't run dry. This is a picture of the love that husbands and wives should be embodied with. Notice the produce of the garden. There are no thorns or thistles in the garden. In another place in the song, it talks about to beware of the foxes, the little foxes in the garden. But in this image, in this stanza here, there is none of that but pure and complete. love. This is how our marriage beds should be. The produce of our marriage should also be as this. It should bear fruit. There's nothing wanting in this produce. Here also is the most expensive of spices. elaborated on, signifying the rich bounty of this love that this couple has for one another. So what we see in this stanza is that all that is needed for Christian marital happiness is endowed by the Creator in a relationship of the covenant of marriage, and it's really quite a beautiful text to read, and I encourage you to do that, husbands and wives, and take a lesson from the fact that there must be reflection upon our lovemaking. The next stanza I'd like to look at this morning is Song 510 through 16. We know that sometimes in marriage, problems arise. This stanza here is penned at such a time as we see the bride in a state of being lovesick because her husband is not there. He is gone. He's missing. She's not sure where he is. It doesn't really elaborate as to what happened to him or where he has withdrawn to. But the daughters of Jerusalem ask her about her love for him. and why she loves him as she does. And perhaps he has withdrawn because she has misstepped her bounds in the marriage, trying to be the head over him. We just don't know for sure. But she starts to recall in detail what sparked her love for him. in the beginning. And so we read in Song of Songs 510, my beloved is dazzling and rudy, outstanding among 10,000. His head is like gold, pure gold. His locks are like clusters of dates, and black as a raven. His eyes are like doves beside streams of water bathed in milk and reposed in their setting. His cheeks are like a bed of balsam, banks of sweet scented herbs. His lips are lilies dripping with liquid myrrh. His hands are rods of gold set with burl. His abdomen is carved ivory inlaid with sapphires. His legs are pillars of alabaster set on pedestals of pure gold. His appearance is like Lebanon, choice is the cedars. His mouth is full of sweetness and he is wholly desirable. And then listen to this. This is my beloved and this is my friend. Beautiful. So he was handsome to her. And she recounts this. She knows and she loves his bodily features. and this represents her complete satisfaction with him. She recounts his kissing her and his fragrance and his genuine love for her. We see that he had a comforting hand, a reassuring hand, cylinders of gold set with jewels signifies this. We also see that she saw him as strong in stature and character, which is signified by the alabaster pillars. And then she says his abdomen, which in Hebrew is really bowels, are as bright ivory. What does this signify? It denotes It's a word used of God in other places that denotes his tender compassion and affection. And she recalls this tender compassion and affection for her. He spoke carefully and wisely. Notice that his mouth is sweetness. And then she sums it up by remembering that He is not only her beloved, but He is her friend, which is unity, a close communion of unity. Well, perhaps you're thinking that you could love a man with a resume like that, but the point is, perhaps what has happened in your marriage if you aren't feeling this kind of love, is that somehow ingratitude has begun to creep in or has crept in. And as she recounts to these daughters of Jerusalem, that's what's in her mind, is what she really had and what she really misses, and that there was something there from the beginning. And you can see that she's yearning now for it to return. We can't let ourselves begin to wonder of something else when things don't go right in marriage because that, in God's providence, is what we are to have and to hold and to love, which is the spouse that He has given us. So don't let yourself do this. Recount the love that you once had for your spouse, your husband in this case, and rekindle that. It needs to be revisited. It can't be forgotten. It can't be taken for granted. And so we see that picture here. It was from the Lord. This is your husband and you are to love him. Success in marriage is often predicated on forgiveness. Think about that. If you're unwilling to forgive, what happens? Hardness of heart begins to develop, and pretty soon, little things are big things in infinitum, and there's a hardness of heart that is so hard to reverse. We have to remember Christ has forgiven us, and how often are we unworthy of that forgiveness? So we have to be willing to forgive and willing to accept forgiveness. It's interesting sometimes how in the church we will rush to forgive other people, but we're often slow to forgive our own spouse. This is a folly that we need to be aware of. The last stanza is Song 8-5. Charlie Brown once said that love is a warm puppy. Did you ever hear him say that? Ali McGraw says, love means never having to say you're sorry. Someone else has said that love is laughing at old baby photos. Well, if we're going to be loving, we need to know what is love in marriage. The song tells us once and for all what love is. And I want you to listen closely to this, and we'll start at song 8-5-B, which is, in my Bible anyway, there's a break there. Beneath the apple tree I awakened you. There your mother was in labor with you. There she was in labor and gave you birth. Put me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm. For love is as strong as death. Jealousy is as severe as Sheol, its flashes are flashes of fire, a vehement flame. Many waters cannot quench love, nor will rivers overflow it. If a man were to give all the riches of his house for love, it would be utterly despised." This is a biblical picture of true love. At first, the answer is puzzling. What does she mean by beneath the apple tree I awakened you? There your mother was in labor with you. There she was in labor and gave you birth. Well, if you read the song in its entirety carefully, you'll notice that there's three different times in the Song of Songs where we hear the advice given not to arouse and not to awaken love, until it pleases. And now, here we are where she has awakened him under the apple tree. And the apple tree, I'm told, in the ancient Mideast, was a familiar symbol for romance in their culture. The sweetheart tree of the ancient world And so everything was now right for their love to begin. I don't know if you've ever thought about this, but there's always a divine time that's right for love to begin. It happens for some when they're younger, for some when they're older, but there is a divine appointment for such things. And in God's direction, the time was right for this man to find fulfillment under the tree of love. Notice, however, the implicit comparison with the pain of labor preceding birth. His mother had experienced pain when he was born, so how did the birth of their romance bring about pain is the question we have to ask. How did the birth of their romance bring about pain? Well, throughout the song, there is reference to pain. There is a portion that talks about imagery that shows the pain of her insecurity. There's another portion that talks about a pain that she feels about her inferiority in this marriage. There's another pain in verse one I mean chapter one where it talks about how she feels this pain of a worthlessness, how her brothers had treated her, you might remember that, we talked about it last week. The one that we just looked at, there was a pain that she experienced of separation and then also the pain of conflict and The reason I wanted to end with this section today is because we need to realize that oftentimes marriage has pain along the way. Love is painful at times. The best marriages experience pain at times. The most struggling marriages may experience pain more frequently. But the question is, have you ever felt pain in your marriage? Arguments, misunderstandings, things that have developed over years, the pain of romantic love has a price tag. And yet, we must recognize that this pain should be fruitful, though, in the end. I mean, you just need to look at James 1 when you think of pain that God brings through various trials in our Christian lives. It's for our good, and good can come from that kind of pain. In fact, these trials are designed for our good, James tells us. So here she makes a following request. She says again in our text, put me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm. For strong as death is love, relentless as Sheol is jealousy. Its flashes are flashes of fire, a vehement flame. Some of your Bibles have, I think, the Lord or Yahweh in there, but really in Hebrew, you can't, you can't, make that straight connection. So her justification for this request is this, for strong as death is love. Love conquers even death, is what she's saying here. Love conquers even death. As death cannot be reversed, so love cannot be reversed. We need only to look at Christ and his love that conquered death to understand this. In fact, if you look at Philippians 2, 6 and 7, there is a love that conquers death. And it said of Jesus, who although he existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped. But he emptied himself, taking the form of a bondservant, being made in the likeness of man, and we know, even went to the point of death on a cross. But that conquered death. Now in the ancient world, this seal was the signature of the owner of his possessions, that he would mark his possessions with. So what is she asking for here? Well, this figurative seal indicates her desire to always be of great value to the one, her husband, that loves her, and furthermore, that he would never abandon her. This is the seal that she requests. She wants his jealous concern for her to be relentless as Sheol is jealous, the text told us. Did you ever think about Sheol, which is a term for hell, to be a place that's jealous for souls? In here, she's turning that and saying, I want you to be jealous for me in that way. to be possessive of me in that way. Now, I'm not talking about an immature type of possession that we've probably all come in contact with, but a protective possession for her good, for her edification, for her Ephesians 5 type of nurturing. the kind of jealousy God has for his people. And then she says that waters cannot drown this kind of jealousy. And so we also read that this is a kind of love that's persevering. that doesn't just give up, that abides on, that's committed to move forward, even through the difficult waters. That's the picture of this kind of seal that she wants, this kind of love that she wants to be her own. Well, there was a song written many years ago last century, we can say that now. Money can't buy me love. And that's where she ends here, or the song ends. It says that if a man were to give all the riches of his house for love, it would be utterly despised. A man that thinks he can buy love underestimates the value of love. That's the point here. This would be reducing the person to an object and it can't be done. Sex can be bought but love must be given and that's what we see in this context This whole idea usurps God's creation image that he has put in you and in me to think that somehow it can be bought. That would be despised. It cannot happen. It would be wrong. It would be an evil thing. And so love is priceless. That's how this song ends here. Love is priceless and we need to see that when we are married to one that is created in God's image, a soul, we need to view that relationship as a priceless one that God has given us as a stewardship for our mutual benefit. And so by way of application I, you know, sometimes you toss and turn in bed at night thinking about application, at least I do. And the points that were just made is that love is painful at times. Love should be possessive. Husbands, thinking of your wife in a possessive way for her good, for her edification. that love must be persevering. If it's not good right now, we don't give up on it. We don't continue to harden our hearts and our hostilities, but we seek to reconcile that so that it can move forward as it is intended to, and that the relationship is a priceless one, and we need to think of it in terms of a priceless one. It's a gift from God for us to enjoy sexual unity, marriage, and the whole kit and caboodle, if you will. And there's a lot of marriages represented in this room here today, and we don't know what goes on as soon as you walk out this door. Nobody does but you and your spouse. And there's such an important thing that has to be said at this point and that is, turn to Matthew 6.14. We need to have in marriage, and it really clobbered me over the head last night, a compensating forgiveness that we go back to all the time. We are to be in harmony, but so often in our sinful flesh, there's disharmony, and there's embitterments that can grow, there's difficult roads because there isn't that unity that should be there. But what I want to remind you, and this is in the Lord's Prayer, the importance of forgiveness in marriage. This wonderful gift of, in our context today, sexual unity that God has given us, do you see what an affront to God it is when we can't enter into that joy because of our hardness of heart, because of our you know, he gave away my dog five years ago, or he wouldn't buy me a sofa, or, you know, on and on, you know, all these little things begin to crop up and become a point where everything is bad about my spouse. And do you see the sinfulness of that way? And when we read in the Lord's Prayer, if you forgive men for their transgressions, your heavenly father will also forgive you. The importance of forgiveness to one another, to have a short account of forgiveness is really where we end in this song. And so I want you to take that and to think about that. And all the excuses that you've made not to do that for so long, you need to sit down and say no more. You need to say, honey, I haven't served you as I should. And I know that's sin, and I recognize that. Forgive me. Husbands need to come to a place where they can say, honey, I haven't cherished you and nurtured you the way I should. Forgive me. I don't want to be like that. I want to be empowered by the Spirit to be obedient to Christ. Let's pray. Father, we thank you for this inspired book. We thank you for the wisdom that we can gain. We thank you for your good gift of sex, of marriage, And Father, we confess that all too often we, like so many of Your other good gifts, we trample underfoot that which You have given as a good gift from heaven. And Father, my prayer today is that You would, with the power of Your Spirit, open our minds and our eyes to these truths and that You would cause us to be husbands and wives that love and cherish and obey your word. Father, cause us to come to a place of repentance that the marriages in this place might be a beacon of light in this area. It might be a gospel tool, an instrument that you use for your own glory in Jesus' name.