Got your Bibles, turn with me tonight. I think I'll read probably maybe five minutes into the message. I'll read the text, but I want you to go to the text. Colossians chapter number three and verse 17 through 21 will be our text for tonight. I wanna help you. I started to preach this this morning for the simple reason I want every family here that could be here. And, but God just led me the way he did, and I think he did, that was right, I preached the right one this morning. But I know God wants me to preach this tonight. If you're online, will you share this right now? And you folks in the church, will you share it when you leave the church? Because there'll be some things I say some of your friends and neighbors will need to hear, amen? Colossians chapter number three, are you there? Say amen. We'll read in a moment. Let me tell you a little story. I may tell you a couple of little stories by way of just introduction. A little boy, his name was Johnny. He was living in a trailer park. And he was unfortunate that he had a, it was a actually terrible trailer park. And he had a terrible trailer. And as a man came up to him and said, I really feel bad for you, Johnny. I wish you had a home. And Johnny looked up at him and said, no, you don't need to worry about that. We got a home, we just don't have a house to put it in. Some of you might wanna listen to that. See, a home's more than a physical place. Amen. The biblical definition of a home is a husband, wife, children, and then parents. Say amen right there. I'm talking about a home where there's compassion and communication and commitment. I read a story, and I'll get into the message real quickly. I read a story about, how many likes stories about Harry Truman? Harry Truman, it was a wonderful story. If, how many's ever been to his museum out in Independence, Missouri? I don't know if anybody's been there. But they had the museum and they found out that Harry Truman had written his wife 1,300 love letters for every day that he missed her when he was president. 1,300 love letters to nurture their commitment. Now, how many believe that's a serious man about his home? Some people are not so serious. I heard the story of a couple that was going to a Broadway show and they went up to the Broadway show and I mean, I'm talking about New York City, high dollar, seats, they were on the front row. And they went up and sat down, the couple sat down and there was a man there and a seat empty. They never had a seat empty. And they asked him, I guess, just wondering why the seat was empty because they always sold out. Well, he said, that's my wife's seat. And the couple being, I guess, nosy, I could tell you a few people's nosy, but being nosy, he said, well, where's your wife? And he said, well, I'm sorry to tell you, she's dead, she died. And they said, well, don't you have any family to sit here with you? He said, well, they're all at her funeral. Some of y'all get that in about 12 minutes. Not much of a home. Tonight, I brought this as the illustration. I'm gonna preach on a four-legged stool for a godly home, or four legs of a godly home. But now, it could be three legs. Now, stools does come in three legs. But a four-legged one, God help us not to fall, ruin the message. It's stable. Now, I sit on a three-legged one this week, and it's not as stable, but it does work. And you'll see that in the message, sometimes that's necessary. So I'm preaching tonight on a four-legged stool, or four legs, of a strong marriage. How many believe our culture's changed as far as marriage? We don't even know a good definition of one. Now, when I was raised and my parents had me and the culture was different. Now, I'm gonna say some things, some of you young kids, Abby, you ain't gonna have no clue what it is. Kerry, can you either? In our days, they had family shows on. How many remember them? Father Knows Best. The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet. The Brady Punch. And even though they're dysfunctional, the Adams family really had a good story too. But now listen to me. In the 1960s, 95% of the children that were born were born in nuclear families of a father and a mother. The last statistic given only 60%. are born that way today. And that's why sometimes you have to operate with a three-legged stool and not a four-legged, because you might have a mom or dad that's been run out on by the other spouse. Somebody help me preach. Or somebody died. And with that in mind, we're gonna, I'm gonna talk about a godly home. And I'm gonna tell you, I'm gonna approach this. Listen to me, sometimes preachers, when they approach this subject, they get up here and they're kind of ignorant, and they, boy, I've been using that a lot today. They're foolish on how they approach it, and they kind of get arrogant, mean. Well, that's not what I'm gonna do tonight. I'm gonna give you about a 30-minute, 20, 30-minute seminar on what a godly home ought to be. Amen? So let's read the verses. I'll give you the four thoughts and we'll go home. But I'll be honest with you, if you'll follow what I'm preaching, you could have a real happy godly home. And you could have a home that God will bless and be pleased with. So let's read the verses. I'm including verse 17, though it's not a part of the paragraph, but it gives us an idea of how we ought to approach it. And whatsoever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by Him. Now let's read the text. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. That's interesting. Husbands, love your wives. Well, this is interesting, this is an interesting paragraph. And be not bitter against sin. Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing unto the Lord. Somebody say amen. So I'm gonna dive right in for time's sake. First of all, we wanna deal with lives. And I am gonna start with a word And that word is submit. I know that's fighting words. But it's actually not what you think it is. And that's a shame that folks is taught this improperly. I want you to know he didn't, I know a lot of, when I was young preacher here, I had a group of leaders. Not the deacons I got now, but a bunch of guys and not deacons, but a bunch of leaders. They told me, they stressed me, said, in your marriage, make sure you use the word obey. When you're talking to the wife. And I plugged it in. But you know, that's actually an improper word. Now, it does say children obey and servants obey, but it doesn't say wives obey. It says wives submit. And you say, well, it's the same thing. No, it's not the same thing. You think it's the same thing, but it's not the same thing. Somebody help me preach. Now, I wanna say this. When Paul was approaching wives here, This is a radical thing he was doing because he was actually elevating the wife. He was bringing them into focus. And you say, what do you mean by that? In those days, wives were property. By the way, it's sad, but that's even in our day. Husband, your wife's not your property. She's your wife. Somebody help me preach. It's a radical elevating. See, in the Jewish culture, I don't know if y'all know this, but in the Jewish culture, a woman couldn't file for divorce. Read it. She couldn't file for divorce. The Greeks even were so strong, they made them, everything they done was done in privately. But in this passage, Paul's elevating them to a status and say, I want you to submit to your husband. Now, what's that word actually mean? It means to arrange in rank in an order and voluntarily put yourself under another. Somebody help me preach. He didn't use obey. Children obey. See, submission does not have anything to do with slavery. And submission doesn't have anything to do with superiority. I didn't mean, hey, husband, because you're the leader, I don't mean you're superior. I just mean God made that order. Am I preaching? Now, will you do me a favor just so I can prove that? Will you turn over to 1 Corinthians 11? Just real quick, I'll hit it and move, because I got a lot to say tonight. 1 Corinthians chapter number 11. Go there, and when you're there, say amen loud as you can. Okay, let's look at it. I want all y'all to listen to this. Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ, verse one. Now, I praise you, brethren, that you remember me in all things and keep the ordinances as I have delivered them to you. But I would have you to know that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is what? God. Let me ask you a second. Hey, Chad, doesn't Philippians 2 say this? That Jesus thought it not robbery to be equal with God? And made himself of no reputation and took upon himself the form of a servant made in the likeness of man? Amen? So let me ask you a question. Was Jesus, was Christ inferior to God? Absolutely not, he's co-equal, co-identical. But in rank, he voluntarily chose to be under submission of the Father. So are you with me? That's where God wants the woman, to voluntarily submit yourself to the authority of your husband. Boy, that's good preaching. Y'all with me? Now, I want you to notice something. Did y'all see this, or did you see that last phrase at verse 18? As is fit in the Lord, or fitting to the Lord. Now what's that mean? What in the world does that mean? Why did you submit to your husband, but hold on a minute, little caveat. as is fitting to the Lord. Let me explain. If your husband, you're in here right now, listen to me, and you got an overbearing husband who says this to you, you can't go to church. Here's your answer to him, I am. In other words, you don't submit to that. Cause he told you something in error. God's not pleased with that. Second example, your husband says to you, don't read your Bible. Well, you just tell him, I'm reading my Bible. You say, well, I disobeyed him. Hold a minute, says that's fitting in the Lord. Now I'm really going somewhere because I want you to hear this next one. Let's say your husband tells you, if you're going really fat, we're going to be close and we're going tight, you need to go to the bars with me. and go out drinking. And by the way, if you don't think that happened in our day, it happens a lot. Where either a woman or a man put pressure on the husband or the wife to do something unethical and wrong. And I'll tell you what you tell them, no. It's not fit. Doesn't fit God's program. And that's not being a rebellious wife, that's being scripturally right. Am I preaching? I think that's good stuff myself. See here, but I want you wives to listen to me. You need to let your husband lead. I didn't say, let your husband be a tyrant. I didn't say, let your husband be a foolish. I said, let your husband lead and submit and voluntary be under his authority. Cause by the way, when he stands before Christ, he's the one's going to be responsible. Good preacher. So this thing of submission, it's a functionality. You're functioning the way, hey, we got Christ over man, God over Christ, and the husband over the wife, voluntarily. That was God's order, that wasn't us. And that ought not upset anybody. Now, I would be upset if I had an ornery old husband, all he done was boss and arrogant and a couch potato, acting like an idiot. There I go again. That's just not right. Secondly, y'all with me? By the way, I'm preaching Bible. Husbands? Love your wives. And look at his caveat, and be not bitter against them. Now, I want you to know there, I want y'all to hear something. I don't know if you, please get your antenna up. I want you to hear this. The ancient authors of historical religion have what is called, Chad, I don't know if you've ever heard this term, household rules. They were rules for how to run the family. Can I tell you this? Command to the husband does not appear in any household rule. Husband, love your wife, it appears in the Bible. But it wasn't in household rules. Cause see, the man dominated. They just was over the wife. to such a sin of arrogancy. But it tells us to love. Somebody help me. Am I preaching? Now, wives, listen to this ladies. You should love your husband. I'm afraid to ask how many wives love your husband, so I'm not gonna do that. But do you know you're not commanded to love your husband? Show me. You're not commanded to love your husband, but you should, and that's the right thing to do in principle. But the Bible says a man's supposed to love his wife as he loves his own self. Good preaching, Reverend. See, listen to me carefully. He was the authority. but his authority ought to be with affection. Am I preaching? Now, how many's ever took a piece of metal and put it up on a magnet? How many's ever done that? What happened to the metal? It got magnetized. Did it not? See, love's not taught, love is caught. And One burning heart will ignite another burning heart. And that's what God wants the husband to do, is love his wife, that it will ignite love in her, and it will be reciprocal, and they'll have a home that glorifies God because of it. But I'll be honest with you, we're raising up a generation today that doesn't wanna follow the Bible. Amen? I think I'm preaching. Now listen carefully. I'll tell you what God wants you to be, husband. He wants you to be a leader and a lover. If you're a leader and not a lover, that means you're a tyrant. And if you're a leader or a lover and not a leader, that means you're a sap. Amen. You're goofy. Verse 19, listen to this, this is important preaching right here. That word husband, do you know what the word husband means? How many people knows what the word husband means in this room? Raise your hand if you know. Let me tell you what it means, it means a farmer. That's what it means. How many has ever read the verse? I am the vine and you are the branches. And my father is the what? Husbandman. Or the cultivator. Now I know this may not get over real good, but you're responsible for cultivating your home and your wife. You say, how you doing? You cultivate that relationship in the soil of love. See, I know this is gonna go over like that screen door in the submarine again. But man, you're responsible for the spirituality of your home. You say, well, my wife won't let me. You do it anyway. And if she don't, she don't. Amen. It's your job. Your job is to be the most spiritual one in the home. the leader in the home, leads Bible study, leads prayer. You make decisions together, but ultimately, you're gonna stand on the decision. Good preaching, Reverend. See, you gotta have all these legs right, or you're just not gonna make it. Amen. See, the love I'm talking about is the copy love. How many believe that? See, here's what I'm saying. Husbands go out, go all out in your love. Now here's what we got today. Y'all wanna hear it? Well, the world says love her or love him as long as the feeling's still there. I want y'all to know something. I've been married 49 years and the feeling hadn't always been there. It just hadn't. I'm getting old, and the feeling's not always there. Am I preaching? But that don't mean you quit. Now listen to me, if your wife runs out on you and she doesn't wanna be married with you, or your husband does that, you can't help it, then you go on. You hear me? Good preaching, Reverend. See, I want all y'all to know this. Biblical love's not goosebumps and patter of the heart. I hear people say that. Oh, he makes my heart patter. Well, Mexican food does that to me. Verse 19, look at it. Boy, this is awesome. And be not bitter against them. I'll tell you what you need to fight against in your home. You're gonna have problems, right? How many believe that? But you don't wanna be bitter, either party. See, you don't wanna call her honey and treat her like vinegar. Ephesians 5 says we need to love our wives sacrificially as Christ gave himself to the church. We need to love our wives sanctifyingly or teach them in the spiritual realm of life. And then we need to love them supremely. I want all y'all to know something. Marguerite Smith is my queen. I love her supremely. I'll be honest with you. My buddy Dale Vance lost his wife and it's been a struggle. I can't imagine it. Cause she's everything. Y'all don't know how many times she stood behind me when others were against me. You don't know how many times she wept and prayed for me all night long when I was so depressed and discouraged. She was my cheerleader. I love her supremely. I want all you church members to know this. I love her more than you. No offense. I love you a lot. I would die for her, but I'm not sure I'd die for all y'all. Okay, I'm sorry. I love her. Somebody say amen. Number three, let's go quickly. I'm moving, I'm moving. Children, obey your parents. Amen? By the way, it's a four-letter word to some kids. They like to buck up. And by the way, I did a study on the word children there. There's two words for children. This particular word is tekra, which means a child of any age as long as they're under your roof. What that means is, I don't care how old they get, they'll abate under your roof. I don't care if they're in college, they obey under your roof. I don't care, by the way, they're 30, they're obeying the rules. Good preaching, Reverend. See, but there's an attitude above obey that children ought to have, and that's honor. Honor your father and mother, and your days will be long on the earth. By the way, how many of y'all believe that Jesus Christ practiced that? When he went to the cross and he was beaten and scourged and hanging there between heaven and earth, guess what he done? He had his mom and John the apostle there. And she looked at him and said, behold my mother. Behold your son. And son behold your mother. What he actually done was, before he went and died, he took care of mama. I'll tell you what, I wouldn't give you a nickel for a child that don't honor their parents. And God ain't gonna give a nickel for them, because he ain't gonna let them live longer if they don't honor their parents. Good preacher, Reverend. Now let me show you what that word obey, and I'm hurrying. It comes from the word hoop-hoop-coo, hoop-coo-ho. That's tough. That means listen under Parental authority. Children, young people, I don't know how many's here tonight. How many's here under 21? Raise your hand. I wanna see you. Several of you. Well, you say, well, and you people listen way of live streaming. Give me three reasons why I should listen. Well, I'll tell you three. Number one, you're expensive. Hold a minute, don't laugh. To raise a child from infancy to 18 costs $310,000. And some of our children in this church aren't cheap dates. They probably up above that. But not only do you listen to your parents because you're expensive, but you ought to listen to them because it's pleasing to the Lord. God's pleased with somebody that's under the authority of their parents and love it. and then it's foundational. By the way, if you don't obey, I'll tell you what you are, you're a rebel. Why some teenagers go out and choose alcohol over their parents' wishes, because they're rebels. Amen. If you don't obey, you don't listen, you're a rebel. And I'll tell you what that rebel's gonna bring out of you. You have to have run-ins with the law. It's just gonna happen. Run-ins with other people. You wanna know why we got so much rebellion today? It's because we're raising a bunch of rebels. They're not interested in God. They're not interested in their parents' words. They're not interested in what the police says. They don't care what society says. They're just rebels. They don't dress right, act right, and do right. They're in substance abuse up to here. And you know why? Because they didn't listen to parental authority. And I want you to know, here's what happens to parents, and maybe sometimes rightfully, but not all times. You know what us parents do when our kids go bad? We blame ourselves. And sometimes we're the blame, but not all the time, Chad. And we feel so guilty, but they chose to be a rebel and chose not to listen. That's a good preacher. That's pretty straight. Now don't get me wrong, parents can contribute to their kid's rebellion. Because most parents are just older rebels. Then I'm finished. Am I okay? Am I allowed to finish? I'm going to anyway. Look at verse 21. My goodness, I'm leaving, hey Jeff, I'm leaving the hardest one for last. Parents. And what's parents supposed to do? Encourage. Look what it says. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. Now I want all y'all to listen. I'm gonna try to analyze this on how hard it is to raise kids today. It's like having an old car that won't run, and you've gotta push it. And it's in first gear, and the brakes on, emergency brakes on. And it's got four sumo wrestlers in it. And you gotta push it from New York to L.A. Whoa. You see, parenting's that hard? Mm-hmm, yeah, hardest thing I ever done. By the way, young parents, you ought to have a vision for your children. What do you want God to do for them? Can I tell you something? I want my children to be committed followers of Jesus. Listen to me, grades are important, but sometimes you say, man, if you're not an A student, You're not bringing A's in, man. Hey, hey! You're a failure. Now, my mama and dad wouldn't like it. If I brought C's in, they'd kill the fat of the calf. I want y'all to know that. I mean, whoa! I'd come in with C's and an occasional B. My mama, she didn't talk in terms, but she did sometimes. Now I'm gonna tell you something. I'm gonna be frank with you. Look at me, don't miss this statement. You do it all right, and that's not 100% guaranteed it's gonna end up right. They may make some choices. But if you don't do it right, it is a guarantee they are gonna fail. Now, Chad, I'm gonna end up this way. What guarantees a child to end up bad in homes? And I'm talking about father, mother here, parenting. About six or seven things, and I'll be quick. First of all, hypocrisy. When parents say one thing and do another. Oh, I want my kids in church, but when they get in a good, solid church, you don't want them to stay there because it's too strict. Oops. Then inconsistency. You treat them one way one day and one way another day. Tell you how you ought to parent, you need to be fair and firm and consistent. And then criticism. You criticize your child too much. If you criticize them once, you ought to compliment them 10 times. Amen. Then favoritism. I want you to know something. You are not to show any of your children favoritism. Ask Joseph, ask Esau. Am I preaching? Then over commitment. I'll tell you what really gets kids, they don't see dad and mom enough. I'm gonna say something I failed at. And I'm ashamed of myself. I'll confess my sin, okay? When I become your pastor, 45 years ago, I sold myself to Tate Valley Baptist. And I run at the expense of my children. They didn't know who dad was hardly until they were seven years old, eight years old. And I'm gonna tell you something, shame on me. I failed. Cause I want you to know something, I found out something. Your family will love you through a lot, but there's a lot of church members, you just say one thing, they're bolting. I refuse and you need to refuse to sell out your family for somebody else. And then being too domineering, being a control freak. and minimizing your child. By the way, they're worth a lot. And overloading them. Your expectations overloading them. It's good to challenge them. It's good to get the best out of them. But there's some things you need to prioritize above that. Now I'm done. Three statements and I'm finished. Let me give you a biblical definition of a parent. A parent is a partner with God, making disciples of your children and lead your children to Christ. Charles Spurgeon said this, before your child reaches seven, teach them all the way to heaven. Work will thrive if they learn before five. Now, I'm done, and I want everyone to listen to me, and I'm gonna read this to you, because I wrote it down and put yellow on it. I'm gonna read this to you. Where are you gonna take to heaven? Do you think you're gonna take your new car? Do you think you're gonna take your fancy house? I'm not against any of that. The only thing you're gonna take to heaven is not your car, not your house, not your money. but your children. I don't know if you got that or not. Now come on, we're all guilty. We all emphasize materialism. That's why not as many people are getting a call to preach, because parents got the mentality, that ain't gonna pay enough, God won't take care of you, and you better get a big paying job. And right now, we're having a terrible problem on the mission field, because we ain't got enough people going back. You know why? It's folks just don't believe that way anymore. We're not raising servants. We're raising little rebels that want, want, want, want. The lowest one is all over. You're three kids. That's all you're going to take to heaven. That's it. We led to Julian James. That's the only one that's gonna happen. I ain't taking my money. I'm not taking no nothing. I wanna ask you a question. How many of y'all believe it's worth it to raise them where one day they'll be a champion for Christ? I'm not ignoring, I'm not ignoring educating them. I'm not ignoring any of that. I'm just trying to point to the best thing. That's all. I wonder. I'm done. Let's go ahead and play. Sing something. I just wonder. First of all, how many people in this room know you're saved? Raise your hand. Hold them up high. Hold them up high. I want to see them up. Let me ask you something. How much do you care for your children, your grandchildren, your husband, your wife, how meaningful is your marriage? If it's real meaningful, if it really means a lot to you and you wanna be better, why don't you tonight, you wanna be a better man, a better woman, a better, why don't you just come around here, no pressure, and just say, you know, I wanna be better. Stand and let God speak to you, our Father. Lord, I thank you for your truth tonight. I wanna get up here and pray. Lord, just help. Chad, you come up and finish the invitation if you would, or you wanna pray, you can.