Hello and welcome to the sermon podcast from Logos Community Church. We're going to get ready in a few minutes this week and then next week again to talk about marriage. And I don't, I can't always see who's here and who's not. I imagine we may have a few that aren't here because we're talking about marriage and then maybe a few that have joined because we're talking about marriage. And it's just, we're not doing some special, marriage series in the next two weeks that the scriptures talk about marriage. I also realize when we talk about marriage that the evangelical church in America has not done a very good job with singles. I see this stuff on social media all the time and singles or single again due to death or divorce often feel like just unwelcome in church because we always seem to talk about family. And so, man, if you're single here, there is a message for you as well, whether you are widowed, divorced, or you just may be waiting to one day be married, or maybe the Lord has called you to singleness. But we all are around married people. We come maybe from married people. And so marriage matters. You're going to be discipling married people at times. And so don't, this is not a two week period to check out. Let's pray then as we get ready to get into chapter three of 1 Peter. Father, we are people of your word. Your word says that it was your word that saved us. That is how men and women come to faith is by the preaching of your word. And so it is also the way in which we grow up in Christ. And we want to grow up. We want to listen to your word. We want to have your word do what it needs to do. We want to be challenged and convicted. We want to have our will challenged. We want to have our hearts encouraged. We wanna have our mind sharpened. And so we call upon you this morning. We submit to you and ask you to do all those things through your holy word. We pray this in Jesus' powerful name, amen. So our text then this morning is 1 Peter 3 1-6, listen to God's word. Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external, the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry or the clothing you wear. But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves by submitting to their own husbands as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord. and you are her children if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. This is the word of God. There's a story about two Texas political candidates that were having a heated debate, and in the midst, one apparently shouted out, let's talk about the powerful interests that control you. And the other guy screamed back, hey, you leave my wife out of this. Women, I pray that it's not a frightening thing as Peter ended that verse that we talk about this. Where will you decide how marriage is to be handled? Where will you decide who designed marriage? All through the Bible, Verse after verse, you and I are told to look around us to what we see, look to creation, look to the mountains, look to the universe, look to the animals, to see all that God has done. And what we see over and over is the beauty that God has designed. And of course, as we see those, the writers of Scripture know what will follow. We will just know that by design, then there is a God. We see design everywhere. Isaac Newton, you might know him if you are a math or physics student. But listen to this quote from him. He says, the most beautiful system of the sun, planet, and comets could only proceed from the counsel and dominion of an intelligent and powerful being. I think in all the apologetics and all the arguments as people are debating atheists, it is this aspect that floors me the most, that they can look upon the same things that you and I see, and they can conclude that there's this randomness, that there's not design. You look at the eyeball. if you're a biology student. You look at the circulatory system, even something as boring as like the skin system, and you really understand how it works and how it's critical to your vitality. You look at the universe. You look at how if the sun was any nearer or any further away, Earth would be uninhabitable. We look at all these things and we are just left seeing design. The intricate workings of the watch demand that there is a watchmaker. And so, with all that, and all that evidence for design, is it then logical to think of the family and of marriage and think, did this master designer god, this grand architect, then just decide to leave the family to hit the family form and function to chance? That makes no sense. And so as the world pushes back and argues against design, and really as they do that, argues against the designer, they do it in science and in creation, and make no mistake, they also do it against the design and social order from the creator. They push back. And an attack on that design is an attack on God. It stems from a loss of awe in God to then say, well, everything is random. Even how you design family is random. And so the attack on the design of family is also an attack on the design of God. I say all this because as we study this this morning, and this matters not just about marriage and family, but really any challenging issue in Scripture. Where you go to get your answers will determine what answers you get. Where you go to get your answers will determine what answers you come away with. And so you may go to society, You may go to your bridesmaids or your groomsmen. You may go to your parents, what you saw growing up. You may go to a sitcom. You may look to culture. You may go to other books or even other Christians. Or you may decide in this issue and in every issue to go to scripture. But where you go for your answers will determine what answers you get. And so as we begin to talk about this issue of wives, be subject to your own husbands, I want us to go back to the beginning. We talked of the designer. I wanna go back to the design, starting in the very first chapter of the Bible, Genesis 1, verses 27 and 28, the plan from the beginning. So God created man in his own image. In the image of God, he created him. Male and female, he created them. and God blessed them and God said to them, be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth. Man and woman created equal, both given responsibility, both blessed, both acting as vice regents of the Lord, And then Genesis 2.18 describes in more detail how this coming about of woman happened. So this isn't later, this is just a more detailed explanation. And so, as God had created everything, then the Lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone. I will make him a helper fit for him. All through creation, If you go back today and look at that passage, God has been saying after every day, it is good. It is good. I'm looking out and seeing the work I've done in that day and it is good. And this is the first time he says, it's not good. It's not good. There has not been, to this point, aloneness in creation. The Trinity, eternal, and so for the first time, man is alone, and God looks down and says, it's not good. And so as the story unfolds, Adam has been naming all of creation, and still, God says, but for Adam, there was not found a helper fit for him. God looked at all of creation and all that he created and all the animals and said, there's something missing. There is not a helper fit for Adam. And so God makes woman from Adam and Adam names her. In Genesis 2.24 then, what I think is the most foundational important verse in the Bible on marriage We are told, therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. See, in his design, God knew that man needed woman. He says, it's not good that man should be alone. Again, not that his creation was wrong, that he had made a mistake, this perfect God. I think more that he was incomplete. I'm not done on this one. And so he made man, not a twin, Not another being exactly like him, another man with the same attributes, but someone different. Someone equal in God's eyes, but different. Whose very role in creation is described as helper. Someone to help Adam. Someone to compliment Adam. Not the same as him, but a helper fit for him. Suitable for him. Equal in value. Unique in role. Unique in responsibility. And I love in verse 24, they are united to create one flesh. This is all before the fall. We were studying this week, as we try to most weeks, with Pastor Marco in McAllen, and we looked through the passage, and he said this, submission from wife to husband is not a post-fall curse, but a pre-fall design. It's not a post-fall curse, it is a pre-fall design by the designer. So then what does happen in the fall? If this is God's perfect design, what happens? Sin happens. Sin happens, and it brings death, it always does. It wrecks and distorts the plans of God. It mars, we know, we look at creation, we look at relationships, and we say, we can kind of, in all of those things, everything that we see, we can see the imago Dei, the design of God, the image of God, and yet imperfectly, marred by sin, not so beautiful bodies that slowly decay and die because of sin. Things not working exactly right. And the serpent comes to the woman, and this is what the serpent always says, did God actually say? and always tries to one-off us from Scripture, takes the Word out of context, appeals to our flesh, and the woman in the flesh sees the benefits of the very tree that she's told not to eat, of discarding God and His Word, and agreeing with the serpent. The Scripture says the woman saw that the tree was good for food, that's true. that it was a delight to the eyes, that's true, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise. All true, and so the woman does what you and I always do, we begin to justify. And so she eats, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her. So the woman is tempted and sinned, the man is with her, and notice, does not act as he is supposed to, as the spiritual leader, but follows, oh, okay, fruit, yeah, sure, whatever, and follows his wife into sin. And this is what happens, and they are then cursed by God in Genesis 3.16, and this is what God says, to the woman He said, I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing. Those of you pregnant, it's going to be okay. In pain, you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you. This desire that that verse speaks of is the same, watch, as in Genesis chapter four, verse seven, and listen to what God says. He's talking to Cain. He says, if you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is contrary to you, but you must rule over it. And so after the fall, The woman will want to buck God's design and master and dominate her husband and be the leader. It will be contrary to her husband's lead. And as a result of the fall, the man will not rightly guard and protect and lead his wife like a shepherd, but perhaps dominate in some distorted, twisted, ungodly way, dominate and be harsh and rule over his wife. Again, I hope you see what sin is doing. It's doing what it always does. See, often we mess up because we think that in every instance, perfection and God's plan is that wall, and then 180 degrees is this wall, and we say, well, we don't ever do that, so we're pretty good, but often sin is like two degrees off. And we take what God has designed, and we twist it ever so slightly, and it is 180 degrees off. And it brings distortion, and it brings brokenness, and it brings death to God's plans and designs. And so I want to take you back to the quote again. Submission from wife to husband is not a post-fall curse, it is a pre-fall design. It is a pre-fall design. So what then, with that backdrop, what does it look like? What does it look like when Peter says, be subject to? And I want you to see, wives, this morning, it involves conduct, it involves character or your attitude, and most importantly, it involves being content in the Lord. And so in verse one, Peter says, likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives when they see your respectful and pure conduct. He's speaking to their conduct here. Why does he say likewise? If you weren't with us last week, go back and listen. And that's the reason these two sermons are bookended. And I hope you see all of the relations. So last week, we, all of us were told, support, respect the emperor and his governors, his underlings. Whether you're an R, or a D, or an independent, respect those in office. Obey them. Likewise, if you find yourself as a house servant, and you have a master, even one who is unjust, all of you obey with kindness. These things are gracious things to the Lord. And it probably stung last week, and it should sting. Because it goes against our very flesh. Things should be fair. Things should be equitable. And Peter is saying, they are not. And you are still to submit. You are still to arrange yourself under. You are not to be forced. You are to arrange yourself under those institutions. And now he says, likewise, wives. in the same manner, to the same degree, wives be subject to, arrange yourself under your own husbands, not other husbands, not other men, not all men, to your own husband. Arrange yourself. And I want you to see, ladies, just like last week, this is not Brazilian jiu-jitsu where you submit after a rear naked choke. Because if you don't, you will have to tap out. This is you willingly, willingly coming under the authority of your husband. Wives, be subject to. Subject yourself to. Your own husband. And Peter says your conduct has gospel implications. Are you seeing the pattern? As he's unfolding these issues of holiness in the last several weeks, all of us, brothers and sisters, how you treat each other has implications to the lost world. All of us. How you obey the government, how you obey your bosses, has implications in your gospel witness. Wives. How you do this to your husbands has gospel implications. You are on gospel mission in your marriage, wives. Now, it certainly applies to all husbands, but here, Peter is specifically addressing there were women new Christians who were finding themselves married to non-believing husbands. The word, when it says they do not obey the word, it's they do not obey the gospel. They have not repented of sin. They are not living for Jesus. And yet Peter says, they may be one. They may come under the authority of Christ. They may receive Christ without a word by the gospel. They may be won by the respect and conduct of their wife. I've done, because I started in ministry as a college pastor, I've done a lot of marriages. And so I've done a lot of premarital counseling and a lot of marital counseling. And I would say, I think wives sometimes you might underestimate the power you have when you show respect to your husbands. I will watch a husband come in. beaten down, depressed, just going through the motions at work, going through the motions at home, and when you begin to help a woman see, you have power in your word. If you speak life to your husband, you say, listen, I love you, I respect you. Thank you for what you do for this family. We follow you. Man, you will watch a man, man, that man who could not basically look up will be ready to climb Mount Everest, tackle kingdoms, fight armies because he has the respect of his wife. And Peter's addressing this and he says, wives, your conduct, you are living with focus on your daily behavior. Peter's been using this language that talks about conduct and your walk again. None of us, not just wise, none of us can get away that Peter, as he's brilliantly just told us the greatness of the gospel in this letter, he's also saying conduct matters, conduct matters, your walk matters. Keep your conduct honorable. And in this instance, the picture, as one writer said, is a woman who is walking well and worthily in her marriage. This woman is walking well and worthily. Wives, God is more interested in your conduct than your debate skills. He is more interested in your conduct Even if you're right, He's interested in your conduct. Husbands can be won and converted not by shouting, not by being compared to other men at church, not by being compared to Matt Chandler or Francis Chan or your father who was like hung the moon. But Peter says, rather, the strong, quiet, gentle life that points to Jesus. A hard, ungodly man might be broken and cry out in repentance to God by the beautiful conduct of his wife. The conduct then, the walk of the born-again woman is a powerful thing even to be used by God to convict and even save her husband. He moves on in verses 3 and 4. Do not let your adorning be external, the braiding of hair and putting on of gold jewelry or the clothing you wear, but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. Now he's talking about character. He talked about conduct. Now he's talking, I think, about character. This is who you really are. This is what counts. And he is not saying, Peter is not saying to these first century wives, you can't braid your hair. This is not a prescription against braiding hair or wearing a ring or a necklace. There is, there should be a desire, I think, for us to remain somewhat attractive to our spouses. Now certainly, 50-year-old spouse is not 20-year-old spouse. But here's what Peter's really saying. The wife is to spend more time on character development than on developing a six pack or wardrobe development. The new way of thinking of the converted woman, she now takes her cues from God, not Cosmopolitan, not Instagram. She takes her cues of what is valuable, not from culture, but from her Lord. And what God is attracted to and is calling women to is the hidden person of the heart. You don't see that on Instagram very often. And that is what God is calling you wives to, a heart that is captivated by Jesus, that is gentle, that is quiet. These things are precious to God. And they're not often precious to the world. See, there's a dichotomy. The very things that are precious and seen as good and wholesome and righteous and pleasing and powerful to God are not seen those ways in the world. And that's why we struggle. We're reminded In 1 Samuel chapter 16 verse 7, of course, is with King David, and he's not the one we would pick, but the word says, for the Lord sees not as man sees. Man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart. And so regarding character then, it is the inner beauty, not the external adorning that the Lord is after in his daughters. As they are conducting themselves, they are walking in a way worthy of the Lord, now with their character, it's the inner beauty, not the external adorning, that the Lord is after in his daughters. He continues in verses five and six. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord. And you are her children if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. We sang, I loved, we sang a song about our hope is in the Lord. And Peter says, this is how the holy women who hoped in God adorn themselves. See, You have to be willing to have conduct that God is asking you to, wives, and display the character. But the way it happens is contentment in the Lord. In our fallen condition last week, none of us want to submit to the person we didn't vote to. None of us want to submit to an evil boss. The way we do that, the way we decided last week, is that we are content in the Lord. In our fallen condition, wives, you don't want to do this. We don't want to come under someone else. We want to Lord over people. And yet this is asked of wives, and we're told to look to Sarah, to Rebecca, to Rachel, to Leah, these matriarchs of the faith. And they adorned themselves inwardly. Do you see that the very adorning that God is calling them to, they, by submitting to their own husbands, that's the adorning. by submitting to their own husbands. And they did it because they hoped in God. They were not driven, wives, you will not be driven to submit to their husbands because their husbands were just superior intellectually or even spiritually. That won't be the driving factor. These great matriarchs of the faith submitted because they hoped in God. They hoped in a redemptive God. He is especially worthy. That's why Paul handles this in Ephesians chapter 5 verse 22 and says, Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. Not submit to your own husbands because he is fantastic every day. Submit to your own lives as to the Lord. And so these great matriarchs of the faith can give in and follow because they are secure in Jesus. And the only ones that can do this are those who have hoped in God. A couple of weeks ago, 1 Peter 1, verse 21, as he was talking to these believers, he said, you who through him are believers in God, who raised him from the dead and gave him glory, so that your faith and hope are in God. Same concept this morning. This theme that Peter is developing through the letter is in tough times, as you are submitting to pagan governments, as you're starting to feel oppression, you're sometimes dealing with cruel masters, wives you're being asked to submit to even unbelieving husbands, they do not make sense unless one's hope is in the Lord. pointing to the fact that He has come, and you see this theme in Peter's letter, He is coming again. That is where their hope is, pointing to the future return of the Lord. And so these women of old, they don't fear life here. Even submitting to their husbands, they don't fear. Charles Spurgeon said, the fear of God is the death of every other fear. Like a mighty lion, it chases all other fears before it. Wives, if today you find yourself, I don't know, I don't know in 2019. Fear of the Lord is the death of every other fear. And so a wife who does this difficult, abnormal, against the culture thing in 2019, and desires to subject herself to her husband, who sees the gospel implications to her husband's and also to people watching in submitting, and who actually submits. That is a wife whose faith and hope are resting fully and completely and continually in Jesus. They're not in her husband, who's good some days and not others. They're not. So today, ladies, a few takeaways. And the same categories really as last week. because Peter said, likewise. So really have for you the same categories with maybe just a few different specific takeaways. The first, I'm just asking you from Scripture, in 2019, don't explain submission away. This is not just first century. This is not just in other countries where they're not as enlightened as us and not as liberated as we are. Don't explain it away. This is not just after the fall. This is not just two awesome husbands. Human understanding, rules of fairness, liberation, philosophy, do not trump the Word of God in this issue. Our standard in this issue, wives, is not current culture, but the Word of God. Period. Number two, don't say that you will submit in theory and then not submit practically. Colossians 3.18, Paul says, wives, submit to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord. This is right. And so you're gonna need to ask your husband, those of you who are married, do I humbly submit? Am I subject to? And then you ask deeper questions. Where do I, perhaps, and where don't I? Am I, do you see me as gentle, as quiet, as submissive? You're gonna have to ask these questions. No one better to weigh in on this than to the own husband that you are to be subject to. When you do it practically, it's going to be when you disagree, even strongly. I want to give you just an example from our marriage. again as I've done this and I've sat down with young couples and when this topic and it comes up about halfway through my premarital you know I do like usually four to six weeks sessions and man I just see like crossed arms and like young lady right out of college been told she's gonna take the world and she's like wait what are you insane? And so I use this example, and you know, in our own marriage of 23 years, this has just not been a big deal. This is not, Jennifer every day gives tons of advice, tons of input. There are many issues in our marriage. Jennifer is smarter or more gifted, and so I defer to her in those issues. What we're talking about, wives, is these few occasions that pop up in a marriage. And we know, right, we don't elect co-presidents. We don't, they're not, as a company is deciding, should it go public or stay private, or sell, or take on another, we don't go to the two CEOs. There is a person at the end that says, this is what we shall do. And so in our marriage, what has happened routinely, big decision, Are we gonna move across the country? Are we gonna move from this house and buy that one? Are we gonna do this with the kids? What major discipline issues? We talk ad nauseum, almost to the point it's laughable. There are times I will go to Jennifer and say, hey, what do you think? And she's like, hey, we've talked about this for like two weeks. I'm exhausted. I've told you everything that I think. I'm gonna go finish dinner. You go pray and make a decision. And the kids and I will be behind you. We will support you 100%. I don't have anything else to add. And I'm like, but I, still, please help. And she's like, no, I'm done. Go lead this family. It's just those few occasions where a decision must be made and a leader needs to make a decision. Wives, in those instances, you are to be subject to your own husbands. Use, give your input, use your gifts. But when there is not agreement, you must be subject to your own husbands, Peter's saying. So don't explain it away, don't do it in theory, but not practically. Don't do it with a grudge. Don't be subject to with a grudge. Do it like Jesus, with joy and meekness. Watch Jesus submit to the Father, equal, right? Equal in the Trinity, and submit to his Father. That's why you are told, wives, as to the Lord. You have been born again, and your submission has gospel implications, and so you do it with joy. We don't witness, right, angrily. We witness with joy. And Peter's saying, then be subject to your own husbands that way, not with a grudge. As Paul says in Ephesians, as the church submits to Jesus, wives are to submit to their husbands. And so we would not think it appropriate, church, to submit to the head, Jesus, with anger or with a grudge. So do not be subject to with a grudge. And finally, Just like last week, submit because you have met Jesus and he's worth everything. I want you to see this from Scripture, submission. See, we've made it a bad word. It is glorious and right when the son submits to the father. It is glorious and right when children submit to parents. It is glorious and right when you and I submit to the emperor or the president. or when house servants submit to their masters. It is glorious in right when the church submits to the head, Jesus. Wives, it is glorious and right when you are subject to your own husbands. Wives who do this have decided and tasted and experienced that Jesus is better than everything. They can then, knowing that He's better than everything, they can then turn and submit in everything to their own husbands. The key is that you have met Jesus and He's worth everything. Let's pray. Heavenly Father, as we drove in today, we saw your grandeur displayed in the sky. We see it in our children, in a newborn. We see it if we know anything of biology. We cannot discount your design, your plan, down to atoms and molecules. And so we then, Father, we know that you have a design for a family. And it is maybe not how we would make it in our minds that are sometimes committed to you and also have flesh. And so we submit to your design for your family, Lord. You are Lord. We joyfully, willingly submit to you today. We see, Jesus, you're on the cross. You're beautiful and perfect submission to the Father on our behalf. We know you were powerful enough and even right in a judicial sense to call down angels and stop the whole process. And you would have been right, and yet you did not. You submitted and obeyed all the way to the cross. We thank you for that. Jesus, we proclaim your death and that submission right now as we come to the Lord's table. We see that submission displayed in the bread which represents the broken body of you, Jesus. the cup that represents your shed blood. Your submission to your father cost you, but it benefited us. Father, we thank you for sacrificing your son for our lives, for putting him on the cross. Jesus, we thank you for your submission. I ask you Lord to bless the bread and the cup right now in Jesus' name. Pray, all of us, may we pray to be submissive in our relationships, that we be subject where we don't want to be subject, where we have problems in this area, and then may you come to the table that the Lord has set out for you when you're ready.