Good to be here today. Let's open our Bibles to 2 Corinthians. I think so. We good? 2 Corinthians chapter 12. And I do have to say this this morning that I think our music guy went home and spent a little time with Jesus after the marriage retreat, because he had a home run this morning. Good job. Now you'd have to be at the marriage retreat to really respect that and appreciate that. I gave him a hard time. this weekend, but I enjoyed the music. It was a blessing. It's a joy to have my wife of 42 years with me today, Katie, and she has been by my side through a lot of things. Not through thick and thin, through thin and thick. She has been by my side, and she is a blessing and an incredible woman of God, and I am blessed to have her. And we bring you tidings from the thriving metropolis of liberal Kansas, home of Fellowship Baptist Church, Dorothy's house, and the International Pancake Race. I can see you're totally underwhelmed. All right, let's do it this way. How many of you like beef? Come on, if your hand's not raised, we'll have an invitation at the end of the service. Get your heart right. Chances are the last beef that you ate came from liberal Kansas. How many of you are wearing now or have worn Nike shoes? Raise your hand. All right. Chances are even better that the leather on your Nike shoes came from our town, Liberal, Kansas. Liberal is the home of the nation's fourth largest beef packing plant. National beef packing process is about 6,000 head of cattle a day. And they say that the leather on one out of every two pair of Nike shoes comes from our plant. So there. I mean, come on, what do you got? The Browns? Right, huh? I really, well, you probably won't now that I said that, but I really hope you'll come back tonight because this is going to be a two-part message. It used to be a one-part message until one of our sweet ladies at home approached me one Sunday morning. I was out in the foyer, it was before church, and I was just kind of mauling around out in the foyer, and she walked up to me and she said, Pastor, you've got some tissue on your neck. And sure enough, I reached up and I pulled it off. Sure enough, I did. I forgot that it was there. So I began to explain to her that earlier that day when I was getting ready for the day, I was shaving and I got to thinking about my message and I cut my neck. and just left it at that, it was all good. And that morning after church, I was back out in the foyer doing what pastors do, just greeting people and welcoming people and thanking folks for being there. So as the crowd began to die down, she came up to me and said, pastor, I've got some advice for you. I said, okay, and I guess maybe she thought I had preached a little long that morning. And she said, how about next Sunday, instead of thinking about your sermon and cutting your neck, she said, why don't you try thinking about your neck and cutting your sermon? Well, okay. So here we are, this is now a two-part sermon. All right, we'll share some things this morning and then come back and we will wrap it up tonight. I'd like to begin our time together this morning this way. There are three basic problems, your pastor alluded to this in the introduction, There are three basic problems that are common to all of us. Doesn't make any difference who we are, or where we come from, or what our background is, or what level of spiritual maturity we may be at, or whether or not we're even a Christian or not. It doesn't matter. We have to live with all three of these things. And they are sickness, sorrow, and suffering. And as long as we live in this fallen world, we're gonna have to deal with all three of those things. Now, sometimes we will deal with them indirectly as they come into the lives of people that we know and love. And let me just take this opportunity to tell you about our little book in the back. I think some of you probably already have it. But one of the real advantages of this little book that the Lord allowed us to put together a couple of years ago, they're out in the fore, they're $5. One of the uses that people have found for this little 77-page mini book is that, and I know you've been there, you've encountered people who've gone through a loss, and you just don't know what to say, right? You just, what do you say? And because we don't like that awkward silence, we feel like we have to say something, And so we end up saying something, and as it's rolling off the end of our tongue, we're thinking, that's not good, that's not good. And we're trying to bring it back in. And honestly, sometimes people can say the silliest things. Like, well, I guess God needed another angel in His choir. Or God needed another flower in His garden. Those things are just, I mean they're hollow, they're meaningless, they don't even make any sense. God doesn't need anything. And so this book has been a real help to folks as they have tried to minister to others who are going through grief. And they can say something like this, I have no idea what you're going through. I've never been there, I don't know what it's like. But recently we had a man and his wife in our church who do know, they have been there, they have walked your path. And God allowed them to write this little book and I got one of these and I just wanna give it to you and maybe you can read it when you get a chance. I hope it'll be a blessing to you. I just want you to know I'm praying for you. And so sometimes we will encounter sorrow, sickness, and suffering when they come into the lives of other people. So it's indirectly. But then there may come a time, and such was the case in our family, as your pastor mentioned, when it comes into our life directly. February the 6th, 2018. It was a Tuesday night. It was about 7.30 in the evening. I was sitting up in bed in our bedroom. Katie was sitting out in the living room. And my phone rang. I had my phone on the bed beside me and my phone rang and I looked down and it said, Sheena. Well, that's our daughter-in-law, and she never called me. She always called Katie. So my thought was, well, TJ, that's her husband, that's our oldest son, TJ has left his phone in a deer stand again, he doesn't know which one, and so he's using Sheena's phone to call me. And so I picked it up, I answered it, and it was Sheena. And she said, is Katie there? And I said, yes. She said, would you get her? I need to talk to you guys. And so I grabbed my phone. I put it on hands-free. I went out in the living room. And as we stood there together in our living room at 910 Apollo in liberal Kansas, we heard three words that just changed our life forever. Through her tears, Sheena said, T.J. is dead. T.J. was 35 years old, married to a beautiful, beautiful wife. Her name was Sheena. I think we've got a picture of him and his family. Three beautiful daughters. Mallory Page there on the ground, and Ellie Grace in her daddy's arms, and Callie Mae, in her mama's arms. When that picture was taken, Mallory was seven, Ellie was three, and Callie Mae was six months, almost seven. Now here's a little connection. Mallory, the one on the ground, has a little bit of a connection to Cleveland Baptist. I was here the night that I was here for GIBF meeting, and that night during the service, my phone rang. It was the final service on Wednesday night. My phone rang. Our granddaughter, the reason I came here is because she was supposed to be born later. And so I got a phone call. I went out in the foyer. It was my son. He said, Dad, Sheena's about to have the baby. And so I got on my phone, I changed my plane, I flew into Wichita. And so anyway, that's her connection. She doesn't even know it. That's her connection to Cleveland Baptist Church. I was here when she was born. And so I flew in, she'd already been born. Her daddy was holding her when I walked in the hospital room. It was such an incredible, incredible moment. As you can imagine, that night, changed our lives forever. Not long after T.J. died, Katie and I began praying that God would bring a man into Sheena's life because we really felt like Sheena needed a husband and those girls needed a daddy. And so we began praying that God would bring someone into Sheena's life, not that would take TJ's place. Nobody will ever take TJ's place, ever. But somebody that loved the Lord and somebody that would love Sheena and love those girls and lead them spiritually. And as we begin to pray about that, it's an amazing story how God brought Derek and his son, Boston, into the lives of our daughter-in-law, Sheena, and our three granddaughters, Mallory and Ellie and Callie. And I'll tell you, he has just picked up where TJ left off. He loves the Lord. He loves Sheena. He loves those girls. They love him. He's leading them spiritually. And we could not be more pleased with the way God answered our prayer. Now let me say this, as I know how I prayed, as I was praying that God would do that, I was also praying for grace. because nobody would ever be TJ. And I just knew me, and I would have difficulty accepting that. But it's amazing the grace that God gave us and we love Derek and he loves us and he's not intimidated by any talk of TJ or any praise of TJ. Those girls talk about their daddy, it doesn't bother him. I mean, it's just a wonderful, wonderful thing. There's so many, so many things that I would love to tell you about TJ. But just suffice it to say, and I really mean this with all of my heart, that at the time of his death, that guy right there was everything that a mom and dad could possibly hope that one of their adult children would be. He loved God. He served God. loved his family, loved the little community that they lived in, served as a trustee in the church where they were members, served on the school board, helped raise money for different things for teenagers in the community there. He was just an incredible guy. To know TJ, look at that smile, I mean seriously. To know TJ was to love him. He just had a way of worming His way into your heart, and you just couldn't get Him out. That's just the kind of guy He was. He was such a good, such a good guy. To know Him was to love Him. And as I've already said, that night, as you can imagine, changed our lives forever. And though the initial brokenness of our loss has subsided, The shockwaves of pain are something that we still experience. And in some ways, we'll always experience at certain times during the year. Like Thanksgiving, and Christmas, and Mother's Day, and Father's Day. We'll experience them every December 3rd here in just a few weeks. That was his birthday. and every February the 6th for the rest of our lives. Let's get into our text this morning, and then I wanna share some things with you that I trust will be a help to you today. You say, well, Preacher, I don't know that I need this today. Listen to me. It just takes one phone call. Just one phone call, just one knock on the door, and you open it, and there's a police chaplain. It doesn't take much. And so I hope that if you don't need this today, listen to me, I hope you never need it. Never. But I also hope and pray that it'll be something that you'll file away. and because there may come a day when you face somebody who needs it or you may need it yourself. And I hope it'll be a help to you. 2 Corinthians chapter 12, I'm gonna give a reading in verse one. Paul writes, it is not expedient, the word means profitable, beneficial, for me, doubtless to glory, I will come to visions or revelations of the Lord, said, I knew a man in Christ above 14 years ago, whether in the body I cannot tell or whether out of the body I cannot tell, God knoweth, such in one caught up to the third heaven. And I knew such a man, whether in the body or out of the body, I cannot tell, God knoweth, how that he was caught up into paradise and heard unspeakable words, which is not lawful for me to utter. Of such an one will I glory, yet of myself I will not glory, but in mine infirmities. For though I would desire to glory, I shall not be a fool. For I will say the truth, but now I forbear, lest any man should think of me above that which he seeth me to be, or that he heareth of me. And lest, verse seven, and lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure. for this thing, this thorn in the flesh. And by the way, we don't know what it was. And there's a lot of speculation out there to what it may have been. But at the end of the day, we really don't know. But whatever it was, it was difficult because Paul said that he besought the Lord thrice, three times that it might depart from him. And he said unto me, this was God's answer every time. Paul, my grace. is sufficient for thee, for my strength is made perfect in weakness." Paul said, most gladly, therefore, will I rather glory in my infirmities, but the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore, I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake, for when I am weak, then am I strong. If you're taking notes this morning, the first thing I want you to write down is simply this. With respect to loss, you don't have to get over it. Shortly following T.J.' 's death, my dear friend, your pastor probably knows him, maybe he's preached here, I don't know, Brother Dean Herring, pastor's in Kuna, Idaho. Brother Dean had also gone through a tragic loss of his grandson. And it really rocked his world. He grieved and still grieves to this day. His name was Josiah. And Brother Dean reached out to me and he shared these three thoughts with me. He said, Bill, I'm not going to keep you long. I just want to share three things with you that really helped me and I hope will help you. And he said, number one, he said, you don't have to get over it. Number two, he said, you can't get over it. And probably the most comforting to me was this, God doesn't require you to get over it. Now think with me for a minute, church. Assuming that Paul received this thorn in the flesh, whatever it was, immediately or maybe soon after having these revelations that we read about in the opening verses of our text, That means that at the time that Paul wrote this second letter to the church at Corinth, he had dealt with that thorn in the flesh for 14 years. And I stand to be corrected this morning, but I don't recall reading anywhere in any of Paul's writings or anybody else's writings that God ever took that away from him. In my mind, if God would have taken that away from him, then Paul, knowing Paul from what we know of him, he certainly would have stopped and praised God for it. He would have thanked God for it and been so gracious about it and so thankful for it. But we don't read that anywhere in the scriptures. And so I think that it's safe for us to assume this morning that he never got over it. He lived with it every day. And I tell folks this, the concept of getting over it is a misleading and empty expectation. We get over breaks and sprains. We don't get over amputations. Not too long ago I was mowing my grass, and I enjoy mowing my grass and edging, doing all of that, I enjoy that. I was mowing my grass and I would just walk along, had my ear pods in, I was just listening to music and mowing my grass, enjoying the day. And I don't know if I stepped on a rock or I stepped in a little hole, I don't know what it was, but I twisted my ankle. I mean, it just went over and like my ankle touched the ground. It hurt and I'm gonna tell you, it hurt bad. And I hit the ground and it was burning and it was stinging and I grabbed it and I'm rocking back and forth and just hoping nobody's seeing me acting like a little sissy there on the ground. But listen, I'm 63 years old. I ain't got time for that kind of stuff. And it hurt. And so I sat there for a few minutes But you know, I was eventually able to get up, and though I limped at first, I just kept walking, and eventually I was able to walk just like normal. But let's say that I got a cut in my foot, and that cut got severely infected, and that infection began spreading rapidly up my leg. And so I go to the doctor, and the doctor says, Mr. Prager, I hate to tell you this, But in order to save your life, in order to stop this infection from spreading, we've done everything we can, we're gonna have to amputate your leg just above the knee. Now, how many of you would agree with me this morning that that's not something that I could just walk off? That's not something that I would ever get over. I mean, come on, a piece of me is missing. It'll never be there, it'll never be back. So yeah, but you can get a fake one, you can put it on there. Yeah, but at the end of the day, I gotta take it off. And I'm still gonna be looking at a nub for the rest of my life. A part of me is missing and I'll never get it back. We get over breaks and sprains. We don't get over amputations. The loss like we suffered and some of you perhaps have suffered and no doubt some folks that you know have suffered, that's an amputation. You with me? A part of us is gone and we'll never get that part back. Yeah, granted God brought Derek into Sheena's life and into the girl's lives, but listen, he's not TJ. A part of us is missing and it will never, ever be back. I heard it explained this way. We don't look at the people around us who are experiencing life's joys until tell them to get over it. For example, let's say some friends of yours are blessed with the birth of their very first child, and you're excited for them, and you're happy for them, and so you go and you get a card, and you write a little congratulatory note in there, and you give them a little gift, and you take it to them, and you're all excited about it, they're excited about it, and you celebrate with them. And then let's say it's five years later, and you're standing at the counter, and you're sorting through the mail, and you come across this card, and you open it up, and it's an invitation to this kid's fifth birthday party. Who looks at that and says, are you kidding me? Another birthday? Come on. All right, we get it. You got a kid. You've had him five years. But really, you just need to get over it. Who does that? None of us do that. We don't expect people to get over the birth of a child. So why should we expect them to get over the death of one? Or to get over any other tragedy as far as that goes? Helping others understand that they don't have to get over it will hopefully deliver them from the unrealistic expectations of people, and I really mean this, people who mean well, they really do, but they've never walked their path. If you've never walked that path, you just don't understand. You just don't get it. A man by the name of Jerry Sitzer lost his wife, his daughter, and his mother all in the same car wreck. And in his book, A Grace Disguised, he writes this, can anyone really expect to recover from such a tragedy? Considering the value of what was lost and the consequences of that loss? Catastrophic loss, by definition, precludes recovery. It will transform us or destroy us, but it will never leave us the same. There is no going back to the past, which is gone forever. Only going ahead to the future, which is yet to be discovered. Whatever that future is, it will and must include the pain of the past with it. Sorrow never entirely leaves the soul of those who have suffered a severe loss. If anything, it may keep going deeper. I mentioned my good friend, Brother Dean Herring. He writes a blog on occasion, and on one of the anniversaries of his grandson's death, Brother Dean wrote empty slogans of people who have never suffered deep loss. Why do we feel ashamed of sorrow as though it's some sort of leprous emotion? Why do we hide our tears when our Savior wept openly at the death of a friend? The ability to sorrow and weep is a gift from God and is a sure sign of a living heart and a greater love. The pain remains and the tears come like rogue waves. But God has somehow enabled us to all live through the unthinkable. We're here. We live on in our sorrow. And with our pain, we live in His grace. So the first thought this morning is this, you don't have to get over it, but here's the next thought, you can get through it. Sometimes people speak of someone getting over a loss as though they're supposed to just move on. I mean, just move on like it never happened. You know, just shut the door behind you and do your best to pretend the pain away. But let me tell you something this morning, it is not that easy. It just doesn't work that way. And that's not what I mean when I talk about getting through it. Let me tell you what I'm talking about. Getting through a loss is about that time that eventually comes When someone accepts a horrible event that brought them so much grief and sorrow, and with the Lord's help, obviously that's the key, with the Lord's help, they find the strength to move forward in life despite the loss and pain. A sense of closure comes when someone finally allows themselves to accept the reality that what was done is done. And nothing will bring back the past or undo the damage. Though Paul never got over his thorn in the flesh, I do believe that he did get through it. That is, I believe that he came to accept it and he found the strength to move forward in his life in spite of it. And I say that because of what we read at the close of verse nine, where he said, most gladly, therefore, will I rather glory in my infirmities that the power of Christ may rest upon me. And if you know anything about the life of the apostle Paul, the power of Christ did rest upon him, amen? as he went from city to city preaching the gospel and reaching the lost and establishing churches. Now understand this, acceptance doesn't mean that everything is okay. Can I just be real honest with you this morning? It's not okay that we're gonna observe another Thanksgiving without TJ being there. I'm sorry, but that's not okay. It's not okay that we're gonna gather and we're gonna have family pictures at Christmas time and he's not gonna be in the picture. That's not okay. It's not okay that we don't get that weekly phone call from him for no reason. He's the only one of our children that doesn't live in liberal with us. He lives about four and a half hours away and he misses his family. And he would call us every week and sometimes it would just be, hey, what are you doing? Well, son, I'm really not doing anything but talking to you on the phone. Okay, good, see ya. He just wanted to talk to his mom and dad. And every now and then we'd get that call and it would be like this, tell Tyler to answer his phone. Because he'd want to talk to his brother and his brother wouldn't answer his call. Just aggravated fire out of him. So it doesn't mean that everything's okay. But here's what it does mean. It means that we are okay. And we are. We're okay. We're getting through it. We have our moments. And we'll always have our moments. But we're okay. God's been good. God's helped us. Doesn't mean that we were always okay. Because we weren't. We were a mess. Our lives were turned upside down. I told the folks this weekend, there's not a sermon or a Bible study or a passage of scripture that could possibly prepare a parent for a phone call like that. There's just not one. And so even though we'll never get over it, by God's grace we are getting through it and we're thankful for that. Let me give you this final thought for this morning. God can use pain for our good and His glory. One of the most familiar verses that Paul ever wrote was, of course, Romans chapter 8 and verse 28. We know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to His purpose. Pastor, I don't know how many times I preached on that verse and explained what that verse meant, and all you need, like bacon and cake, you have all these ingredients and none of them by themselves taste good, and they're all yucky, but when we put them together, you got this awesome cake. I mean, I preached all of that. But it's easy to preach. It's not so easy to accept. All things? Seriously, Paul? All things? Someone may ask, well, what good could possibly come from a tragedy like ours or like those that others have suffered? Let me give you three things to think about real quick and I'll be done today. Number one, pain produces a deeper relationship with the Lord. Some scriptures here, I encourage you to write those down. Now I'll be the first to admit this morning, I don't, I do not understand why God does what He does. I don't understand why God allows what He allows. But I know this this morning. I know He loves me. There's no doubt in my mind. I know He loves me. And I know that He wants me to draw near to Him. And here's what I've had to learn. And it's this, sometimes He will allow me to feel the pain of this world's unhealed hurts if it brings me closer to Him. John Kitchen said this, I want you to think about this, write it down, meditate on this. He said, our deepest encounters with God may come wrapped in the deepest pains of life. Our deepest encounters with God may come wrapped in the deepest pains of life. The second positive outcome of pain is that it helps conform us into the image of Christ. The testing of our faith can bring a spiritual maturity that nothing else can bring. I mean, think back to Romans 8, 28. We know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his what, church? His purpose. And Paul goes on to explain what God's purpose is for whom he did foreknow. He also did predestinate. Predestinate to what? To be conformed to the image of his son. It's God's plan that every saved person begins to look more and more like Jesus. That He might be the firstborn among many brethren. So God's purpose in your life and my life is to make us more like Christ. And so God is going to chisel away everything that detracts from Christ in us so that His glory may be seen through us. There's a Skip Guy's video, maybe you've seen it, it's called The Chisel. And so this guy's standing there and he's praying, and he's asking God to help him look more like Jesus, and all of a sudden, God comes up behind him with a hammer and a chisel. And he starts hammering, and the guy, oh wow, what are you doing? You said, you want to look more like my son, right? Well, yeah. I said, well, this doesn't look like him. So he comes around here, and I said, ow, stop it. That hurts. Why are you doing that? He said, hey, that doesn't look like Jesus. And it's great. It's very moving, and it's very, very convicting. And I'll just tell you this this morning. The process of it all is painful, but the product is beautiful. So pain produces a deeper relationship with the Lord. Pain conforms us into the image of Christ. And then as your pastor mentioned during the introduction, God permits pain in our life so we can help others with pain in their life. It's a biblical principle. 2 Corinthians Chapter one, verses three and four, here's what Paul said. Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort. And then look at this. Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God. We have spent, my wife and I have spent so much time trying to live out that principle in our life. That's what we're doing here this morning, and we'll do again tonight. As we or you go through a time of tribulation, a time of trouble, and a time of heartache, and heartbreak, and sorrow, and grief, And God comes to us or God sends someone to us and they comfort us in that time. We then become obligated to use that same comfort to go to others and I can't tell you how many people we have talked to over the course of the last three years who have shared their stories with us and we've wept with them and we've prayed with them and we tried to use the things that others have given us to help them. And then hopefully they will take that and help somebody else. And it'll just keep going right on down the line. And here's what we found throughout that process. When we talk with someone who is farther along the path of recovery, It encourages us not to quit, to keep moving forward with the hope that things will not always seem as they seem right now. And on the flip side of that, when we share from our experience with those whose lives have been recently shattered, It not only encourages them, but it also helps us see how far God has brought us. Does that make sense? So even, listen, even when our circumstances aren't good, God's purposes are good. And I'm going to stop there this morning.