00:00
00:00
00:01
Transkrypcja
1/0
This morning, turn with me please to Colossians chapter three, verses 18 to 19. That's on page 894 in the Blue Bibles. Excuse me, 984 in the Blue Bibles, Colossians three. We've reached the second in a three-part series on men and women. Last week we talked about men and women at creation, this week in marriage, and next week in the church. And then as I mentioned before, the plan after that is to move on to the book of Romans. Colossians chapter three, verses 18 and 19. This is God's word. Wives. Submit to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. Here ends the reading of God's word. Let's pray. Our Father in heaven, we thank you for the clear teaching of your word. We pray that you would cause these clear instructions to deeply root in our hearts so that we might understand it and live according to your grace toward us in the gospel of Jesus Christ. We ask it in Jesus' name, amen. It may happen sometimes that you go to the grocery store And you just have to pick up a couple things. So you pass by the carts, and you walk inside, and you grab a basket, because that's all you need. But as you walk through the store, of course, you see multiple things you forgot you needed, and those go in the basket. And then pretty soon you're wishing, I wish I'd grabbed the cart. I need something that's equal to the task I have here. I wish I had the cart. In marriage, there are roles. And these roles that we just read about are like equipment or like a structure. Here the Lord tells us that the wife is to submit to her husband and the husband is to lead in love and not be harsh. That is a kind of structure. In that structure, by those means, The Lord delivers to us greater things. He has aims and goals for us, blessings for us that he delivers by means of these marriage roles. Even if you're not married, you need to know about these in order to appreciate and support marriage, as outlined in God's word. So two points this morning. First of all, the roles of marriage. We're to welcome these, these roles. And that's our first point from our passage. And then secondly, the goals. The goals that God has in mind, and we are going to see that looking at scripture more broadly. roles and goals. First, the roles of marriage. Here the Apostle Paul very succinctly puts his finger on what's crucial. He doesn't talk about everything. And I'm not gonna talk about everything this morning, what this doesn't imply and all the possible cases and whatnot. We're just focusing on what's crucial in how husbands and wives relate to one another. I think, too, that these two things he says about submitting on the one hand and leading in love and not being harsh on the other, those are the hardest two things in marriage, I do believe. So we start with the wives in verse 18. Here God tells us through the Apostle Paul, wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. It's fitting in the Lord because it's the Lord who ordains authority in the human race, authority of many kinds. And as we read through the scriptures, we see God telling us to submit to a host of different sorts of authority, to God himself, of course, to God's law, to God's righteousness, to God's word. We're also called to submit to government authorities, church leaders, servants are to submit to their masters, children to their parents, and wives to their husbands. Submitting is something that affects all of us. We are all called to submit to multiple kinds of authorities in our lives. Submitting means, submitting means to subordinate your ideas and maybe even your abilities to the leadership of someone else. To subordinate your ideas and abilities to the leadership of someone else. Now this word, submit, I think is a little uncomfortable. Maybe not our favorite word. It feels kind of like a burden or a hard word. And I think that's because that word really gets at the difficulty of being under leadership. When you're under leadership, and all of us are, you have ideas about what's best in your situation, but your leader, Your leader may agree with you. Your leader may not agree with you and may not support you. And submitting means swallowing your pride, shelving your idea, and going with what the leader says. Staying true to the leadership. And so here God says wives should keep supporting their husbands. Now this support role belongs to God's original design in marriage. It's his original design. Remember how God creates the man, and then he contemplates this man he has made, and he says, it is not good for the man to be alone. I'll make a helper suitable for him. God makes Adam a helper. So he puts Adam in a leadership role, then he brings along Eve to help and support. And that's what wives do for their husbands. To support a husband does not merely mean to be a holding tank for his ideas and to echo all of his opinions. That wouldn't be much help. God makes wives to help their husbands, and of course, helping includes the wife bringing her wifely wisdom and perspective to bear on things in their marriage and in their family, to be a real contributor to the leadership of that home. It is kind of like a pilot-co-pilot sort of situation. The co-pilot doesn't just echo the pilot. If the pilot's not doing it right, the co-pilot's going to say something, and that's like a wife. A wife may even vigorously disagree with her husband if she feels he is being foolish or unbiblical. None of that's in conflict with submission. Here is submission. And I'm not talking about the case where a husband is being wicked, where he's being destructive, where he's being crazy. Those are different sorts of cases we're not talking about this morning. I'm talking about run-of-the-mill interactions that may be very stressful and emotional and very fraught. Nevertheless, they fall in the category of normal. At the end of the day, God says, wives, stand with your husband. even if he doesn't agree with your input, even if he has heard you and has decided to overrule you, and hopefully that's a rare case in a marriage. Nevertheless, it may happen. And so you are to continue to support and respect him. Obviously, that means not defying him, but it also means not tongue-lashing him or disrespecting him in front of the kids or rooting for his failure, or passively resisting and undermining him, or punishing him with iciness, none of those actions would be submissive, not really supportive. What God is calling wives to do is to support their husband, and I would add to that, to support him in a way that he feels supported. So that if somebody asked your husband, Does your wife support you? He might say, well, she's not always perfectly happy with me, but I've never had a doubt that she is in my corner, she's pulling for me, and she wants my leadership to succeed. Yes, she supports me. If your husband can say that about you, then you are you are doing what the Lord says, you're in the ballpark of what God is telling you to do. You know, you might be so brave, wives, as to ask your husband, do you feel supported by me? And then, yeah, hear what he has to say. Husbands. Verse 19 says, husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. Husbands, love your wives, Now we might think that the husband got the easier one. Love doesn't just, it doesn't strike us as an uncomfortable word in the same way as submit. But I think love actually is quite an uncomfortable thing. At least the way God means it. Men and their approach to marriage and family do tend to be very results-oriented. I'm stereotyping here, but I think this stereotype is true. What does a man want? Well, he wants a sweet and affectionate marriage and a well-run home. Is that too much to ask? That's all I want. If I get those results, I'll be happy. And of course, no marriage is uniformly sweet and affectionate nor successful. And so, that's life. No marriage is always perfect on a man's terms. Therefore, the Apostle Paul is right on the money when he reminds men, don't be harsh. Don't be harsh, because that's going to be a temptation for a man. The word here is literally embittered. Do not be embittered. And it's when a man is bitter that he gets harsh. When he tries to shape his wife into the woman he wants her to be, and turns up the heat of pressure, and criticism, or comparison, or scorn and ridicule, and puts a squeeze on her in that way, that is harsh. Or some men will will withdraw and emotionally quit. They'll be there, but they're not really plugged in because they've been disappointed. That's harshness of another kind. Don't be harsh, scripture says. The embittered husband has a conversation with himself and his own heart. He says, how can I love her? How can I love her? She disrespects me. She's an affectionate with me. How can I love her? And a man who says that has forgotten. He's forgotten what delighted him about that woman in the first place. He has forgotten all the things she's done for him. And so he's become ungrateful. He's become ungrateful to what the Lord has provided. And perhaps he's comparing her to others who he thinks are more ideal. Of course, they're more ideal because he's not married to them. Nevertheless, that comparison may be going on. Really, he's ungrateful to God. That's the embittered husband. You know, how does God look at it? God is results-oriented, too, in a sense, but the result God wants is love. That's what he's after. He's not after... Well, that's what he's primarily after. Husbands, if you lead with love, that's success in God's eyes. The embittered husband needs to remember that God makes us leaders. God makes us leaders. We're not victims in chief. We're not whiners, and we're not quitters. We're leaders. The question for you, husbands, is not so much, how can my wife improve? That's not so much the question. The question for you is, how can I lead us to a better place? How can I lead us to a better place? That's a loving, caring question that takes the husband's responsibility on board. That's a loving way to look at it. And what God wants husbands then to do is to continually invest towards your wife. And what this means for husbands is much time spent with your wife, much time, and many, many words, many thousands of words heard and given as you, loving husband that you are, get to know your wife and get to understand what makes her happy and sad, what makes her feel secure or threatened, what makes her tick. As a husband draws close to his wife, he's going to be able to encourage her and the Lord from God's Word in appropriate ways. He's also going to be able to confess his own faults to her and get help for the marriage, if that's needed. And I should say, too, make sure you're having fun together. That's also really, really important. So a husband who loves his wife is investing toward her in those sorts of ways. And so, If someone were to ask your wife, men, if someone were to ask your wife, does your husband love you, hopefully your wife, hopefully she should be able to say something like this. Well, it's not always roses all the time, but there's never a doubt in my mind that my husband really cares about me. and that he's going to do what he can to use his leadership to make me thrive. I've never doubted that. Hopefully our wives should be able to say that about us. And if she can say that, then husbands, you are in the ballpark of what God is telling you here. It's probably not a bad idea for a husband to have the courage to ask his wife that question. Do you feel loved by me? Listen to the answer and learn. So, wives, husbands. You know, God gives us these roles in scripture. Many people today would prefer a different system, a system where husbands and wives lead equally in the home. Not one is in charge, but they lead equally. That seems more fair to many people. But it's often not. Because what happens is, if you don't specify authority in the home, then authority will emerge randomly. C.S. Lewis writes about this. He writes about rule in the home. He says, the alternative to rule is not freedom, but the unconstitutional and often unconscious tyranny of the most selfish member. Or you could say it a little differently. You could say it this way. Absent biblical norms, if you're going to junk these roles and try to do something else, absent biblical norms, what happens is that the most assertive person takes over under the guise of equality. That's what happens. Friends, God's system is best. He knows best. And so here's what we affirm. We affirm, first of all, that men and women are equal in God's sight. They are of equal worth and dignity, equally made in God's image, and equally precious to him. So we affirm that first of all. And then we say that for the good of marriage and for the good of mankind, God specifies roles and authority in the home where a man takes loving leadership and then a wife submits to and supports her husband as is fitting in the Lord. That's what we believe in. That's the system I should say, too, that system can look very different in different marriages. There's a lot of room for variation within these biblical parameters. Sometimes I look at other couples and I think, that would never work in my marriage, but it works for them. And if it's in keeping with God's Word, great. We're not after a cookie cutter here, but we have to stay within the guidelines of what God is saying. And when this is working well, When it's working well, it's highly collaborative. It really is a kind of pilot, co-pilot thing, and it's not oppressive, it's fulfilling. It's a beautiful thing the Lord has set up. So that's his system, the marriage roles. Secondly, these marriage roles serve God's larger goals. Again, marriage roles are like that shopping cart. It's a structure. It's a structure to hold and to deliver important things. At least four things we'll touch on this morning. Four goals of marriage, four benefits. First of all, marriage, the marriage roles provide for our personal needs, our personal needs. Back in Genesis chapter two, God sees that the man needs a companion and a helper. That's what he needs. Implicitly, the woman needs a protector and provider, especially as a wife, in most cases, is going to be bearing, nursing, and raising children. She needs him in his role. God designs our spouses to meet our needs. And he knows best. He knows best. We need to trust the one who knows best. You know, I think of a father who may be present at the birth of his child, maybe it's his first child, and in the crucial moment there, the hospital staff are keeping an eye on him, may ask him to take a seat, because even though he doesn't think he's about to faint, they know it's a real possibility. Would you care to sit down, sir? They know more. A lot of times other people know more about our own needs than we do. And our Creator, our great God, of course He knows more about us than we do. And so He gives us a husband or a wife that is matched to our needs. He designs our spouses to meet our needs in their role. Personal needs. Secondly, our sanctification. This is a big one. We all have a long way to go in being like Jesus Christ, a long way to go in our holiness. And so here God puts husbands and wives into these roles, which are hard. He tells wives to submit, and that requires sacrifice. It's not easy. He tells husbands to lovingly lead, and to love in the way he's talking about requires sacrifice as well. So what happens in this marriage experience, as we're trying to carry out these roles, the Lord sort of holds a mirror up to us, to our own character, so we can get a look. And we say, wow. I have found myself, and I think most married people would say the same thing, that marriage really did open up a window for me on my own self-centeredness. It did. And if we reject biblical roles, one of the things that is happening is that we are not allowing God to hold up this mirror to us in the same way. We're not as able to see the truth about ourselves when we're not even engaging in the challenge of doing what he says. But when we accept our roles, then our eyes are opened in a good way, and we say, how I need Christ. How I need his sacrifice to wash away my sins. I always knew I was a sinner. When I got married, I really, really came to know it. I need Christ. How I need the spirit of Christ to train me and to teach me to behave in a way that's fitting to a Christian husband. So the Lord, through those marriage roles and their challenges, trains us in sanctification. So it meets personal needs. It builds our sanctification, our holiness. Thirdly, and this is a kind of a big thought, a big overarching thought, but marriage roles help us to understand and take our place in human history. And I say that because God created mankind, as he said in Genesis 128, we talked about this last week, be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion. God lays out a task for mankind to rule the earth wisely and well. As we saw last time, right down in the heart of that task is multiplying, and that implies marriage, and that implies child rearing. So all that's right down to the heart of God's plan for humanity. Now, as the generations have gone on, our Lord Jesus Christ was born, And He has done His work, and He's poured out His Spirit on us to equip us as Christian husbands and wives. So all that's great. But the mission of mankind continues. We are to, as redeemed people, if you're married, as married people, to carry out these roles in a God-glorifying way. I guess what I'm saying is, That the role God gives you isn't just kind of some meaningless script, but it fits into this big picture of what he's doing, of building humanity and redeeming humanity. So it fits into that big picture of human history. And then finally, finally, God designs marriage roles to picture Christ in the church, to picture Christ in the church. The Apostle Paul says in Ephesians chapter 5 verse 23, he says, the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. And then he proceeds to draw the implications of that in our marriages. But just taking that thought, that the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, we can see that God is painting a picture for us in marriage. Marriage is teaching us. Marriage roles are teaching us. Who is Jesus for us? Well, he's like a husband at his best. He's a good leader. He cares. He provides. He's fiercely loyal. He's protective. He loves. That's who Jesus is for us. He's like the best husband possible, but perfect and all-powerful. And he loves us dearly, like a good husband. That's who He is for us. Who's the Church for Christ? Who are we for Him? Well, if we think of a wife at her godly best, being glad to be led, and seeking her leader's well-being and success, seeking her leader's success. So we, the Church, we love having Christ as our King, and we seek to lift up His name and glorify Him. That's who we are for him. And if we don't accept biblical marriage roles, then it is like we take that beautiful portrait and we turn it around so we can't see it. We conceal it. No, that's the picture that God has for us. We should not hide or deface God's illustration. He shows us his love for us in Christ, and we realize this as we accept biblical marriage roles. As we accept it, we understand, again, who is Christ for us? He is the fulfillment of what every godly husband is trying to be. Who are we for Him? We are the fulfillment of what every godly wife is trying to be in supporting her husband. And so that is the greatest goal of marriage. And that is a goal that speaks to all of us, married or not, that speaks to all of us. In marriage, Whether you're married or not, in this institution of marriage, God speaks to us. He shows us his great love for us in Jesus Christ. And showing us that glorious love, he draws our heart to him. Let's pray now and ask the Lord's blessing on his word. Our Father in heaven, we thank you so much for the institution of marriage. And as we look at what you have done, we do see what a wonderful institution it is and your wisdom and how you have put it together. Father, we also see in all honesty how far short we fall as husbands and wives in carrying out our proper roles. Reminds us of how we need a Savior, how grateful we are for Christ. And how amazed we are as we reflect that this whole institution is set up to picture him. So Father, we pray that you would equip all husbands and wives here, make us diligent and faithful in our callings. Help us, Father, we pray. We pray even more than this, though, that you would help all of us here to better understand and experience the love of Jesus Christ. That seeing his love for us and his fierce loyalty to us, his protection and his provision, to be drawn to him, and so loving Christ to experience what is the deepest significance of marriage. Father, help us to understand these things and to give you the praise, for we ask it in Jesus' name, amen.
Men and Women in Marriage
ID kazania | 1021181212241 |
Czas trwania | 28:38 |
Data | |
Kategoria | Niedziela - AM |
Tekst biblijny | Kolosan 3:18-19 |
Język | angielski |
Dodaj komentarz
Komentarze
Brak Komentarzy
© Prawo autorskie
2025 SermonAudio.