Jeff Crippen, Pastor | Tillamook, Oregon
Podcast + Codes
Sermons Embed Enjoy sermons from this broadcaster on a variety of mobile devices.
MyChurch: crc | Set MyChurch Code#: 05792
Gen 3:1 Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?”
Over the years in this ministry to abuse victims, I have been contacted numbers of times by people (mostly men) who are domestic abusers and Christian pretenders. Their line is always pretty much the same: “I don’t want a divorce. I haven’t been a great husband, but that has all changed. I am willing to go to counseling with my wife but she refuses.” Done. Finished. Call ended. Communication over. Why?
Because he is a liar, just like his father the devil. Such wicked ones think they are sooo smart and crafty because they have been used to deceiving everyone and gaining them as allies against their target. But in fact, they are fools. No one who was truly repentant would:
Call me and ask for my assistance Pressure the victim to go to counseling Oppose the divorce Quote the Bible Or even open their mouths – Job 40:4 “Behold, I am of small account; what shall I answer you? I lay my hand on my mouth.” Ask for her forgiveness (often in the form of a demand) No, a truly repentant man would shut his mouth, be overcome with the weight of his sin, go away and leave the victim alone, and do all he could “from a far place” to send funds and provision to her but with no direct contact. And he would expect NOTHING in return. Nothing. He would lay all the blame where it belongs – on himself and he would plead with the Lord for salvation and forgiveness even though confessing he is the worst of sinners, deserving of hell.
Oh, and he would NEVER start a “ministry” to help or counsel others. Never (yet we see this kind of thing all the time).
So the moment an abuser phones or emails me, I know what he is. I know that all his claims are lies and furthermore I know that he is never going to change and that I am wasting my time if I try to help him.
This is why I am so critical of “ministries” that focus on counseling and teaching abusers with the goal of “fixing” the marriage. Oh, I know they make claims that they have seen “real results” through their ministry to abusers, but I don’t believe it is real change. Sometimes they aren’t dealing with abusers as we define them at all, but some “difficult” personality. But even then, I mean let’s be honest, which of us really wants to be married to a person who has to be pressured or taught to be kind to us? It would be a sham.
Fred is much better now since he went through this program for abusive men. The leaders are holding him accountable.
Ok, so Fred is a better husband now because he knows that the hammer is going to fall if he steps out of line. Yeah, that’s a real loving husband for you alright.
I hold to my basic anchors which I encourage everyone to found their decisions on:
Abusers (as we define them and know them here) never change. A marriage to an abuser does not need to be fixed, it needs to be ended. Because as soon as you stop talking to and listening to the abuser, you will also stop being fogged and deceived by the devil’s lies.
And that is why I never talk to abusers. Don’t call me. Don’t email me. It isn’t gonna work.
(originally posted on unholycharade.com )
Our Blog
-- recent blog posts -- 08/27/2022 - But He has Changed! 08/25/2022 - Abusers Expose Themselves: Some Early... 08/25/2022 - If a Victim Divorces Her Abuser, She is... 08/23/2022 - Honor is not about Deserving - Really? 08/20/2022 - He is Just the Nicest Man I've Ever Met... 08/18/2022 - Does the Bible Teach Meritorious... 08/16/2022 - Can You Change a Wolf into a Sheep by... 08/13/2022 - How Evil Lies 08/11/2022 - A Fresh Look at Evil and an Open Call... 08/09/2022 - Bunyan's Insights into The Devil's... 08/06/2022 - More Thoughts on How Evil Isolates in... 08/04/2022 - The Tentative Love of Counterfeit... 08/02/2022 - Being Abused does not Justify Abusing 07/28/2022 - They Go too Far - Watch Out for Leaders... 07/26/2022 - Do as they say, Not as they do?? What... 07/21/2022 - Challenging the No Divorce for Abuse... 07/19/2022 - More Thoughts on Why an Abuser Cannot... 07/12/2022 - Our Suffering is Not Redemptive - We do... 07/07/2022 - Divison as an Abuse Tactic 07/07/2022 - Divison as an Abuse Tactic 07/05/2022 - Desiring Justice or Craving Revenge?... 06/30/2022 - The Lord's Other Prayer - Psalm 109 06/28/2022 - If Your Plumb Line is Off...Everything... 06/23/2022 - Some More Thoughts on Perpetual... 06/21/2022 - Let me Tell You the Story of Randy 06/16/2022 - Twisted Theology Produces a Den of... 06/14/2022 - You Must be Born Again 06/09/2022 - And a third Piece of Wisdom (from Lynn) 06/07/2022 - A Second Vital Truth (from Lynn) 06/02/2022 - Some Very Important Points (from Lynn) 05/31/2022 - I have Married three Abusers - Am I... 05/26/2022 - More Thoughts on Getting Free from... 05/24/2022 - Words of Wisdom About Abuse 05/19/2022 - Why Couple's Counseling is a Disaster... 05/17/2022 - Christ Can Heal Us 05/12/2022 - The Comforter 05/10/2022 - Right Back at Ya! The Abuser's Tactic... 05/05/2022 - We Have a Choice: Follow Christ or... 05/03/2022 - Moving Beyond Victimhood 04/28/2022 - One Bad Apple... 04/26/2022 - The Do-Nothing Pastor 04/21/2022 - This is a very Damaging Teaching that... 04/19/2022 - Forsaken by a Traitor's Kiss 04/14/2022 - Are you Flawed? Is it your Fault? 04/12/2022 - Zeal Without Knowledge: Interpretation... 01/03/2022 - Foolish Naivete About Evil Disqualifies... 01/02/2022 - You Have the Right to Choose Your... 01/01/2022 - Abuse and Divorce: The False Teaching... 10/28/2021 - Wayne Grudem isn't Sorry for the Damage... 10/27/2021 - Incompetent to Counsel 10/25/2021 - Another Accusatory Letter from Pastors... 10/22/2021 - Psalm 64 - Protection from the Secret... 10/21/2021 - The Disguised "Friend" 10/20/2021 - More on Revilers I Have Known 10/19/2021 - Abuse of Pastoral Authority is Rampant 10/18/2021 - Info: Here is a link to an Excellent... 10/15/2021 - The Lie of Toxic Positivity - A Guest... 10/14/2021 - A Common Evidence that Most People... 10/13/2021 - Let's Talk about "Peace" 10/12/2021 - A Rotten Apple...? 10/11/2021 - Fruitless Searches for a Church, and... 10/11/2021 - Hezekiah's Prayer as a Model for Us 10/08/2021 - Wising Up to the Abuser's "Christian"... 10/07/2021 - Is He a Christian? 10/06/2021 - When You Can't Benefit Them Anymore -... 10/05/2021 - Let's Talk About "Marriage Intensives" 10/04/2021 - Some Thoughts from Proverbs 10/01/2021 - How many Sins are Required to... 09/30/2021 - Thank You to Carma for this Term: Toxic... 09/29/2021 - This What Enables Evil to Hide in Our... 09/28/2021 - The Haughty Evil of the Wicked and... 09/27/2021 - Kelly Orr Tells Her Story of Abuse 09/24/2021 - Seeing, Yet not Seeing Evil 09/23/2021 - Loyalty is a Fundamental Quality of Love 09/23/2021 - Abusers are not Your Average Sinner 09/22/2021 - Be Sure to Read This Comment by Lynn -... 09/21/2021 - Tell Me What You Think of These Claims 09/20/2021 - Love Does Not Always Conquer 09/17/2021 - This Evil of Matriarchal Abuse Deserves... 09/16/2021 - Let's Talk about FEAR - a Red Flag in... 09/16/2021 - The 10 Commandments of a Narcissist... 09/15/2021 - Classic Abuseer From the Old Testament 09/14/2021 - Straining a Gnat to Swallow a Camel -... 09/13/2021 - Silence as a Sign of Abuse 09/10/2021 - Exodus: Getting Free of "the Family" 09/09/2021 - Still More About Background Checks 09/09/2021 - Let's Talk More About Background Checks 09/08/2021 - Let's Think Some More about What it... 09/07/2021 - Listen to Me! - A Common Demand of... 09/06/2021 - The Matriarchal Kingdom of Abuse 09/03/2021 - Friends May Desert Us - Christ Never... 09/01/2021 - We Become Like the Master We Choose 08/31/2021 - What Does a Real Church Look Like? 08/30/2021 - What if Timothy Continued to Hang Out... 04/23/2021 - Image Maintenance is Idolatry 04/22/2021 - Exposing Sin andEvil is not Gossip 04/21/2021 - Be Sure that Justice is Coming 04/20/2021 - The Power of Love - Really? 04/19/2021 - Does 1 Corinthians 3 Teach that an... 04/18/2021 - The False Appearance of Godliness Has... 04/18/2021 - An Appearance of Godliness: Case... 04/17/2021 - An Appearance of Godliness: Case... 04/16/2021 - Wisdom from Proverbs about Abusers 04/15/2021 - Is Social Justice only for the liberals? 04/14/2021 - Divorce for Abuse - An argument from... 04/13/2021 - The Infernal Circus Perpetrated on... 04/12/2021 - Focus-Shifting: It's The Tool of... 04/11/2021 - An Appearance of Godliness: Case... 04/10/2021 - An Appearance of Godliness: Case... 04/09/2021 - Does 1 Corinthians 13 Requires us to... 04/08/2021 - Please Watch this Video Bible Study -... 04/07/2021 - The Trap of Assuming Everyone is "Good" 04/06/2021 - A Chief Reason that "friends" Betray Us 04/05/2021 - "I will never leave you" - A Certain... 04/04/2021 - An Appearance of Godliness: Case... 04/03/2021 - An Appearance of Godliness: Case... 04/02/2021 - The Pain of Being Shunned - by Tiffany... 04/01/2021 - The Error of Regarding the Wicked as... 03/31/2021 - An Abuser is a User: an Ab - User 03/30/2021 - A Warning Sign - Counselors who are... 03/29/2021 - Why is Forgiveness Even Possible? 03/28/2021 - An Appearance of Godliness: Case... 03/27/2021 - An Appearance of Godliness - Case... 03/26/2021 - Don't Fall for the OPC's New Horizons... 03/25/2021 - Rudeness is a Sign of Evil 02/25/2021 - We are Children of the Promise - Take... 02/24/2021 - The Lord's thoughts Really are Higher... 02/23/2021 - What did Jack the Ripper look like? 02/19/2021 - Life After Abuse - How to Move On 02/18/2021 - The Remnant - this is an extremely... 02/17/2021 - Sorry, not Sorry - Thoughts on False... 02/16/2021 - Can God Save Anyone? 02/15/2021 - The Letter of the Law is not Enough and... 02/12/2021 - Scandalizing the Worship of God 02/11/2021 - Is Suffering Required by God? Is it a... 02/10/2021 - These Words of the Lord in Isaiah are... 02/09/2021 - Arrogance is the Friend of Evil 02/08/2021 - Idols are False Gods, a dream, an... 02/05/2021 - The Blinding Work of our Enemy in this... 02/04/2021 - A Warning to Those who Harbor the Wicked 02/03/2021 - Some Common Sense from the Ananias and... 02/02/2021 - Watch Out for this Leaven - It has... 02/01/2021 - More Wisdom About the Wicked 01/29/2021 - Christ Can Heal Us 01/29/2021 - With Out for the Usual Suspects 01/28/2021 - Blind Leading the Blind - Don't be led... 01/27/2021 - An Appearance of Godliness - Case... 01/26/2021 - An Appearance of Godliness - Case... 01/25/2021 - An Appearance of Godliness (Part 7) -... 01/22/2021 - An Appearance of Godliness - Cases... 01/21/2021 - An Appearance of Godliness - Case... 01/20/2021 - An Appearance of Godliness: Case... 01/19/2021 - An Appearance of Godliness: Case... 01/18/2021 - An Appearance of Godliness: Case... 01/15/2021 - A New Series: An Appearance of... 01/14/2021 - Judgment of the Wicked is Part of the... 12/04/2020 - Is Your Faith Supernatural or... 12/03/2020 - Some Thoughts on Churches that Abuse... 12/02/2020 - Don't be One of These False Prophets... 12/01/2020 - Betrayal by Friends and Family is... 11/30/2020 - Let's Think Some More about the Popular... 11/27/2020 - Most Professing Christians Tell Christ... 11/25/2020 - When the Church becomes the Enemy 11/24/2020 - A Central Scripture on the Evil of... 11/23/2020 - The Domestic Abuser is Actually a... 11/20/2020 - Even the Best Bible Teachers Get it... 11/19/2020 - A Primary Handbook for Understanding... 11/18/2020 - A Short Post Consisting of Just one... 11/17/2020 - Evil People Lie - They are of their... 11/16/2020 - Lessons from Laodicea 11/13/2020 - What "Do Not Think Too Highly of... 11/12/2020 - Watch out for Flattery 11/11/2020 - The Lord Knows Who are His Own - and... 11/10/2020 - A Huge Defense Against Abusers and... 11/09/2020 - Boys' Clubs in the Church 11/06/2020 - Trusting Experience Over Scripture - a... 11/05/2020 - Growing Accustomed to Evil 11/04/2020 - Saul - A Case Study in False Repentance 11/03/2020 - When Family Forsakes Us 11/02/2020 - "If You Only Understood..." Using... 10/31/2020 - When Anger is Godly 10/19/2020 - The Other Way to Peace 10/16/2020 - Magic, Superstition, and Biblical Faith 10/14/2020 - The Wicked Demand Secrecy - Darkness... 10/12/2020 - Child Custody and Solomon's Wisdom 10/09/2020 - Beware of Marriage "Intensives" and... 10/07/2020 - "Everyone is a Christian" - Another Lie... 10/05/2020 - "Never Say Anything Negative About... 10/02/2020 - The Persistent Widow of Luke 18 09/30/2020 - She's marrying a sociopath and there is... 09/28/2020 - The Wicked Sow Evil in the Fields of... 09/25/2020 - "Friends" of Victims who Refuse to... 09/23/2020 - One of the Worst Letters I Have Seen... 09/21/2020 - The Wicked Work to Alienate Others... 09/18/2020 - Pharaoh Pursuing the Israelites is a... 09/16/2020 - Follow Up to the Abuser Seeing his wife... 09/14/2020 - Churches Need to Stop Practicing... 09/11/2020 - Most Local Churches are Actually... 09/09/2020 - Usually, "Loving the Sinner" means... 09/07/2020 - The Double Standard of the Wicked
Older
Newer
Top