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Jim Wetterlund | Greer, South Carolina
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Suber Road Baptist Church
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Greer, SC 29650
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The Concerto of Grief (pt. 2)
THURSDAY, JULY 14, 2011
Posted by: Suber Road Baptist Church | more..
5,040+ views | 370+ clicks
In the previous post we noted three movements of grief: crescendo – trust in the Lord – decrescendo. There are several practical lessons that we can learn from this pattern.

The first implication is a warning against unreasonable expectations. Whether we ourselves are in the process of grief or trying to help a friend, we tend to look for the quick fix. A parent loses a child and we expect them to "get over it" within a week. A husband walks out on his wife and church people think her unspiritual because she is taking too much time to get on with her life. If prophets such as Jeremiah and David take the time to grieve, shouldn't we expect the same from ourselves and others?

There are two unhealthy extremes in times of grief and pain: 1) all smile and no tears 2) all tears and no smile. Regarding the first, we should be a bit concerned when people short circuit the process and don't take the time to grieve after a traumatic experience. It is with good cause that prophets such as Habakkuk and Jeremiah take some time to shed tears. Like Jesus, who wept at the death of his friend Lazarus, they acknowledge the pain and suffering in the world. As they begin to look to the Lord, however, their tears give way to joy. This shows the danger of the second extreme. While it is good (and necessary!) to acknowledge the pain of the world, the biblical writers do not allow themselves to wallow in their grief. They look to forward the day when God will deal with the problem of evil permanently. Even in times of suffering the promises of God give us reason to rejoice. In short, the first extreme fails to consider the terrible results of Fall; the second refuses to acknowledge the ultimate hope of the Gospel. The pattern we have noted (crescendo – trust – decrescendo) models itself after the story of the Bible. We lament the presence of evil that came as a result of the Fall; however, as we remember the Gospel, grief can only give way to joy.

There is another implication that is a bit subtle, but extremely important: a warning against grieving and suffering alone. Notice how the biblical writers put their grief on display. Just by authoring a book such as Lamentations or writing a Psalm, the biblical authors are sharing their grief with the broader community of God's people. It almost seems as if they are inviting people into their pain. Although the first reaction is to withdraw from people in time of suffering, inviting people into our grief can help guard against bitterness. As difficult as it is for any of us to hear, in times of pain when our lives are falling apart, we need accountability to ensure that we stay within the bounds of healthy grieving. We need friends and family to help us lift our eyes to Christ. We also need them to remind us that the prophets and even Jesus himself took time to grieve. Apart from this loving accountability, we are prone to fall prey to one of the two extremes we outlined above.

Grieving in a community also gives our brothers and sisters in Christ an opportunity to grow in their walk with God. The Lord brings pain into our lives for a reason, and the purpose is bigger than just for us personally (2 Cor. 1:4). By inviting people into our grief we give them the opportunity to grow in their own understanding of the Gospel. Furthermore, we must acknowledge the evangelistic side of grief. As Christians, we preach that God can comfort and give hope through any trial. That message comes to life when unbelievers see, right before their eyes, the Spirit of God giving hope to one of His children in time of need.

Finally, we should note that even in this concerto of grief there are ups and downs. Growth through suffering is more like "stock market growth" than "money market growth." Money market growth is steady over time. An account may grow at a consistent rate of 5%. Stock market growth is a bit different. There are ups and down from day to day, even month to month, but over time we anticipate measurable growth. For sure, grief gives way to hope as the promises of God encourage our hearts. There is measurable growth over time; however, we should expect ups and downs from day to day.


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