“Greet Mary, who has worked very hard for you.” vs6
Women can do a lot in the gospel. They can do everything except teach and lead men (1 Tim 2:11-12; 1 Cor 14:34-38]. They cannot function as pastors and elders, holding authority, but they can serve as deaconess. (1 Tim 3:11 is better translated, “Women, too, must be worthy of respect...”) They can teach other women, be an example to us, and help the churches. They can work for the gospel.
It’s not about what women can’t do, but what they can. Many excuse themselves because they are not men, but they can go to distant lands and teach children, they can get involved in the lives of the abused, and make drastic changes. Two missionary heroes are Mary Slessor in Nigeria and Amy Charmichael in India, women who were faithful to the gospel, due order, and gave their lives for radical changes and conversions. This good work puts us to shame, encourages us, and causes us to rise up. Paul commends the sisters because they are helpful. God help us to follow them and lay our life down for Christ.
First, Phoebe was a deaconess [Rom 16:1-2]. Paul says, “I commend to you our sister Phoebe, who is a servant [διάκονον] of the church in Cenchreae. So you should welcome her in the Lord in a manner worthy of saints and assist her in whatever matter she may require your help. For indeed she has been a benefactor of many--and of me also.” She helped Paul, helped the church, and she was to be assisted, which shows authority - not to teach as an elder, but to serve. Many pastors' wives or church secretaries function in this role. They are zealous stewards of God’s house. They take care of bills, make sure meals are prepared, and they are the go-to person to get things done.
Men serve alongside them and follow their good example. These sisters are not overbearing: they serve in meekness.
There’s nothing wrong with the title deaconess, though many disagree. (There are at least 5 words for servant in the new testament, but the feminine form of a word translated deacon, &ldq uo;&d elta; &iota ;ά&ka ppa;& omicr on;&n u;&om icron ;ν ,&rdq uo; is used here.) The office, however, does not require teaching, and our sisters can steward the finances, visit the sick, help organize, and alleviate burdens in many ways (1 Tim 3:8-13).
When you see gifted women with godly character, use them and promote them. Our sisters must not be slothful simply because they can’t preach.
Secondly, women can assist in spreading the gospel. Rom 16:3-5, “Give my greetings to Priscilla and Aquila, my coworkers in Christ Jesus, who risked their own necks for my life. Not only do I thank them, but so do all the Gentile churches. Greet also the church that meets in their home.” Priscilla didn’t teach men publicly, but privately, helping Apollos beside her husband [Acts 18:26]! She was sound, knowledgeable, and zealous. She risked her own life, and she is even named BEFORE her husband to show that she was probably stronger, more zealous, and perhaps more knowledgeable.
There is nothing wrong with this - with having a super wife - and let the husband not be intimidated, but be encouraged to run with her, keep up, and extend himself. Let no man tame her! Let her have the zeal of the Lord and the courage to do His will.
Maybe she was barren, or the children were carried along. Maybe they were out of the home. Who knows, but she lived her life righteously.
Some women are gifted with theological minds, and they can be used in private, online, and to write books. They can post blogs, speak to the women, and they can dispel knowledge in non-formal settings among the church, as the saints are gathered to open scripture, as they meet for dinner, or as she takes tracts to the streets. We need our women zealous to convict us, encourage us, and embolden us. They must spread their wings.
Thirdly, they can work very hard for the Lord’s people [vs6]. “Greet Mary, who has worked very hard for you.” She may have been single, perhaps older, or young and beautiful. She may have had many pursue her for marriage but preferred to serve the Lord unhindered [1 Cor 7:38-39]. She may have been disappointed by NEVER finding romance, but used her life wisely, rather than sulking, coveting, or squandering it on vanities. She gave herself to the kingdom.
She cooked, she brought people, or she opened up her home. Like the woman at the well, she told the whole city where Jesus could be found [John 4:28-30]. She passed out tracts and went to the prostitutes and the orphans. She encouraged the church. When something needed to be done, she did it, laboring in prayer, selflessness, and diligence. She was a hard worker.
Finally, do not fear this example in our sisters. Covet it. Stir up the women in church to hold nothing back. Do not give them the pulpit, but encourage them in what they can do. Godly women are happy to serve in ways that please God. Use them fully.