...it. My point is that he was completely alone, abandoned, beaten, mocked, and spit upon, etc., and even though he suffered more intensely than any of us ever will, he persevered, suffered, and died alone because he loved us that much. He chose to die so that we could live, and no matter how much you're suffering now, he suffered all the more for you and none of us have the right to give up when he never gave up on us.
Carl, as far as the church is concerned, people give away dogs all the time, so I wouldn't fret about that, but if it does come up, you can just explain. Carl, I'm no stranger to a toxic life in general, but also a toxic home life. I understand and can relate to the living nightmare of what youre up against. Let me say this quickly before I forget...I sure hope you would never take your anger over the dog out on the dog. That would be irresponsible and downright mean. I need to remind you that first and foremost, you're a Christian. I know when things seems bleak and no way out, how alone it can feel, but you must know that you're not alone, Right? We all know that Christ died for us, you and me, but I often wonder if people consider all that He went through leading up to that day when He was forced to carry his own cross with a crown of mocking thorns pressed into his head, ordered to lay down onto the cross so huge nails could be driven through his limbs, and then very painfully hoisted up, shreiking in pain, and left to hang there in unimaginable pain and gasping for breath as he waited to die. This is often what most visialize, but stop short and don't consider the trauma he experienced, most likely being brutalized, physically and emotionally, the days leading up to
Hi.im meeting with my pastor soon hopefully. I'm sat in the car weeping. She's going to spend her entire months benefits on this damn dog. All I get thrown back at me is that I go to work and she's on her own. Well I only work part time and that's during the night. Also our church is having a weekend away soon and they have offered to pay thinking we are broke. Well it's going to look awful when she brags about this dog. And what's going to happen on the weekend away?? I'm sick and tired. I've even researched suicide
Carl, while grabbing a dog without your consent might seem like an isolated incident, and silly to some as something that would put you over the edge, I understand that it speaks to a much larger picture, with a dog being the latest crime against you. I say, crime, because not only do you hate dogs, not sure why, but that aside, you're the one who will be fully taking care of it. I get that, and it's about the lack of respect, feeling emasculated, overall, and feeling like you have no control. Did you take my advice about speaking with a qualified, mature, biblically sound, well-seasoned Pastor, and getting everything out? Just having another person knowing what you endure can often take the edge off, and its almost always beneficial to get the thoughts of someone on the outside looking in, or their objective thoughts based on the situation you relate to them. I'll bet you didn't. I think you're so used to putting everyone else first, that you've forgotten to, or how to take care of yourself. Take my advice and do something for yourself, Carl, instead of dealing with everything internally and allowing it to consume you. By the way, you're not only around for the kids...get your headspace out of things and thoughts of this world.
Carl, I don't have the full details, but I think I can safely assume that I know someone in your very position, two, in fact. Wives with very severe control issues, among other behavioral problems. You're not alone. More tomorrow...hang in there.
I spoke to soon. Even though we are borderline poverty,and she knows how much I HATE dogs,she's buying one. She's disabled so I I know it's gonna be me cleaning up the poop again. It's the straw that broke the camel's back. I'm only here because of the kids.
Christopher000 wrote: Sorry, final question which I meant to include earlier: In your biblically based opinion, and for the reasons already covered, say divorce becomes inevitable, and ultimately happens...adultery if one were to remarry at some point?
Christopher000 Yes, that is a huge minefield of a question!
In my understanding of His Word; Remarriage, "afterwards" when all the sin, garbage, ones own contribution to the mess is put behind and under the blood and the wounded brother or sister is on their feet again in the faith, serving God, Then only in the Lord, with a committed believing born again sister whose heart is to serve Jesus Christ with and in being a helpmate to her husband ... would not be adultery; and actually honor the mercy and grace of God, and please Him for all the good two God-fearing spouses would bring to each other and His kingdom and family
I hope you appreciate that is enormously different for someone who finds a lover and divorces a grievous troublesome spouse to marry them
Another Michael wrote: God help us to stand with and for our hurting brothers and sister, as if it was we ourselves going through the hell on earth an ungodly hateful unbelieving spouse can so often bring - They need our prayers not our condemnation
Sorry, final question which I meant to include earlier: In your biblically based opinion, and for the reasons already covered, say divorce becomes inevitable, and ultimately happens...adultery if one were to remarry at some point?
Honestly, it was refreshing to hear Mike, Ladybug, Michael, and Pennelope take those particular stands. I really thought everyone would point solely to adultery, or a spouse not tolerating a new life as very specific, and one and only scenarios.
Thanks for the feedback. I always pretty much never looked past adultery, for the most part, but after Carl's situation, I began wondering about how much a human being should or can take if a marriage is so toxic for so long that a person begins to shut down, and reaches dangerous levels of depression, etc., over it all.
Good points Mike, I agree. For example,should a woman stay in a marriage where she is beaten repeatedly, sometimes in front of the children? The damage to children as a result of this is horrible. Abuse doesn't just come in physical form either, mental abuse and verbal abuse are just as damaging to both a husband and/or a wife. Many women have stayed in abusive marriages and suffered terribly as a result, all because a pastor told them they must.
My own dad was an abusive drunk, yet my mom stayed with him. The damage done to the family was not worth staying in that marriage, in my opinion.
This might raise eyebrows. Eyebrow position aside, is there biblical requirement to stay in an abusive relationship? Hasn't the abuser already divorced, i.e. separated him or herself mentally and emotionally from the spouse? Isn't there more to marriage than physical presence, or state approval?
Thank you, friends. Michael, I'll check the links when I have time, and thanks for taking the time. Some good points from every two of you...ha-ha, whatever...I guess I was just wondering if there was some gray matter when very specific situations were involved, like in Carl's case, for example, where the relationship is so harsh, and the home life so intense, that one feels they need to get out in order to potentially save a life. I more specific examples I want to give to get some extended thoughts. Good comments though.