Ephesians chapter 4 this evening. We're going to take as our text verse number 25 in Ephesians chapter 4, but I want to back up and I want to look at verse number 20. We'll read from verse 20 on and we'll get to verse 25, which is our text this evening. With the Lord's help this evening, I want to speak on the subject of speaking truth in our homes. speaking truth in our homes. And this is in the context of Ephesians chapter four, the putting off of the old man, the putting on of the new man. And the scripture reads in Ephesians chapter four in verse number 20, but ye have not so learned Christ. If so be that ye have heard him and have been taught by him as the truth is in Jesus, that ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness. Wherefore putting away lying speak every man truth with his neighbor for we are members one of another now when we Opened this passage a couple of weeks ago. We said that Ephesians chapter 4 the Apostle Paul is speaking in the context of the New Testament church relationship of the way that we relate to one another we're going to make application tonight and to the family relationships that we have, to husbands and wives and parents and children and children and parents and so on and so forth, brothers and sisters, and we want to make application in that area, but specifically and primarily this passage in Ephesians 4 was written to the New Testament church and talking about how to have successful relationships within the New Testament church, just like we talked about this morning from Romans chapter 12. Now, in contrast here, the apostle Paul is going to go through a series of statements where he's going to talk about what to put off. That is the garment that needs to be shed. It's the old man. It's the pattern of life from the way we used to be, where we came from before, how we were raised, the worldly influences on us, what we were before the Lord Jesus Christ, we're to put those things off and we are to put on the new man. Suffice it to be said tonight, we cannot put on the new man if the new man has not been created by the power of Christ Jesus in us, that would be through the new birth, by being born again. And so it's futile to talk about the behavior of the new man if you've never been born again. So the most important thing about in the home would be that you must be born again. If you've never been saved, you're going to have a very difficult time having the kind of home that God wants you to have. Of course, you can obey to a certain degree some of the principles of Scripture, and to whatever degree you obey those, that will be helpful and will certainly help to grease the wheels of your home, if you will. However, to live fully in obedience to Ephesians chapter 4, you're going to have to be a new man in Christ Jesus. Now, he comes to verse 25, and the very first habit or behavior that Paul addresses is this thing of lying versus telling the truth. And he says specifically in verse number 25 where for putting away lying Speak every man truth with his neighbor for we are members one of another you follow the reasoning Of the apostle paul within the context of the new testament church. He says brethren. We're members of one another We are a part of the same body. We need to make sure that we are telling the truth to one another We need to make sure that we are putting away falsehoods and lyings. And maybe you're here tonight and you say, preacher, what's the big deal with that? Lying is not a problem in my life. Well, you might be surprised to find out how much lying is a part of your life. Let me say this tonight by way of introduction. It is that a home that is built on lying and deceit will become a seedbed of hypocrisy, rebellion, and bitterness. Did you catch that? Home that is built on lying and deceit will become a seedbed of hypocrisy rebellion and bitterness lying that takes place in the home deceitfulness that takes place in the home will especially breed bitterness and In the hearts of children, of course hypocrisy is the living out of a lie Let me say this also concerning truth-telling and lying a marriage that is not built on mutual trust will not weather the storms of life. Just yesterday, I sat and talked with Ben and Alyssa a little bit and helped them some in preparation for their wedding. And one of the things that we talked about yesterday was this issue of trust. You know, when two people, a husband and a wife, trust each other, they can solve just about any dilemma or problem that comes their way. When a husband and a wife have complete trust in one another, they can deal with thorny and difficult issues. But when they feel that the other person loves them and cares about them, and they have an implicit trust, you can work through things. You take away that trust, however, and that same couple will not be able to solve the simplest disagreements because without trust, we cannot have strong relationships. And this thing of lying, of speaking the truth versus lying, Strikes right at this very issue of trust in our homes I want to share three thoughts with you this evening about lying and hope tonight will be a challenge and and a Encouragement to you to grow in this area and before you write me off tonight and say you know what? I don't have any problem with this I just urge you to listen to the message and to consider where lying may actually be a part of your life and of your way of living notice with me first of all I'd like to just talk about some reasons for lying. Why do we tell lies? As I thought about this in preparation for this message, I did a little bit of reading. on this subject. A couple of interesting things I want to point out to you. There's a very famous study that is quoted often when it comes to this subject of lying. A fellow named Robert Feldman, who was a researcher at the University of Massachusetts. And Mr. Feldman set up a particular type of test where he randomly chose two strangers and introduced those two strangers to a conversation with one another. Two people that didn't know each other, picked them randomly off the street, had them begin to have a conversation for 10 minutes, and while those two people were talking, he was recording the conversation. He did this with a number of individuals for statistical analysis to see what happened. Interestingly enough, at the end of that 10 minute conversation, the researchers would ask, now, did you tell the truth? And almost without fail, every person that was interviewed said, oh yes, I told the truth. Everything that I said was absolutely true and accurate. And then the researchers played the 10-minute recording back and asked the individuals to listen for things that they had said that were not completely true and not completely accurate. What Mr. Feldman found was very interesting. He said that of the people that were tested, 60% of those subjects were found to have lied at least one time in the conversation, and they were surprised by that. They didn't even remember or realize that they had lied until they heard it played back. Then he said, probably even more alarming, the average number of lies that was told in a 10 minute conversations between two people that didn't know each other was almost three per person. Isn't that interesting? Why would we lie to someone that we don't even know? Why would we lie to a complete stranger? What would be the purpose of that? And why do we lie? So habitually now take note that if 60% of them were found to have lied at least one time then 40% of them were completely truthful and if 60% were found to have lied at least one time and the average was Nearly three that means that a lot of people told a lot more than three lies in a ten-minute conversation Are you all following the math on that? Another lady, Pamela Meyer, is a noted expert on deception. She's written a couple of books about how to tell when someone is lying to you. You might want to pick those up. And she estimates, especially after you hear what she says, she estimates that the average person lies somewhere between 10 and 200 times every day. Most people will lie three times within the first minute of meeting a new person. Now, Pamela Meyer is not even talking about pathological liar. She's talking about normal people. So that would be like you and I. In other words, lying, if you really think about it, is a part of our culture. It's a part of who we are. I asked myself the question, why do we tell lies? Why is it that we do not tell the truth? Of course, we know that God forbids this in the Ten Commandments. He says, thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor, specifically saying that lying is wrong. But why is it that we lie? Well, I came up with at least nine reasons why someone might tell a lie and probably nine reasons why most of us in here have told many lies in our lives. Notice, first of all, one reason that we tell a lie is to gain respect from others. We, we will often tell a lie in order to put on a good appearance or to fit in with those who are around us. So we might tell a lie in order to get people to respect us. An example of this might be how sometimes men will brag about how many hours they work And they will liberally estimate on the generous side of how many hours they actually work. Because, you know, it's nice to talk about how many hours you work. And if you can say, I work 80 hours a week, I work 90 hours a week. In our culture, that causes people to stand back and say, wow, what a man, what a hard worker. And so sometimes people, in order to gain respect, will brag about things like that. Or sometimes, Margaret Thatcher just passed away this last week. Margaret Thatcher was known as the Iron Woman. And one of the reasons was because she could literally survive on four hours of sleep a night. Now, you might think that's an honorable thing. For most of us, that would kill us to sleep four hours a night. In her case, she is actually, doctors tell us, she was actually in the 1% of the population of the world that could actually function on four hours of sleep. Most people cannot do that. And so she was specifically wired that way. Most people need a lot more hours of sleep than that. But sometimes we talk about how little sleep we get and it goes right along with that idea of how many hours of work that we put in. And it's all to kind of cultivate this image about who we are and how important we are. Sometimes a man who thinks this is going to gain him favor in the right circles will fib a little bit, will brag a little bit about how he puts his wife in her place. I told the woman, you know, you're not going to be doing that, not in my home because brother, I'm telling you, I wear the pants. Well, that's nice that you wear the pants in your home. I hope you do. Amen, men. I hope you do. But when a man brags like that about how he put his wife and her place to his friends, he just went down about this many notches in my estimation. You understand? And so sometimes we will say things to get respect from others. I think you could probably all identify times in your life when you've lied for that very reason, to get people to respect you, to get them to think well of you. A second reason that we sometimes will lie is to avoid consequences from a mistake or a bad decision. Any of you ever get pulled over by a police officer for speeding? And then they say, how fast were you going? And what do you answer? I don't know. Now, do you know how fast you were going? Oh, it's very likely that you know how fast you were going and you're ashamed to admit it and you don't want to tell them. I think they probably know that anyway. But we might lie in order to avoid consequences from a bad decision that we've made. A man might lie to his wife because he made a poor business decision and lost a lot of money. And he doesn't want to be truthful about his responsibility in that decision. So he might tell a lie in order to cause his wife to think it's not my fault, it was somebody else's fault, so that she won't lose respect for him, so that she'll continue to follow him. Sometimes we lie in order to avoid consequences. Third of all, We sometimes lie in order to avoid hurting someone else's feelings. Do you ever tell a lie for that reason? Someone asks you a question, and if you tell them what you really think, you know it's going to hurt their feelings. And so you want to be careful about what you say. I read a very interesting, a little blurb about this. They said one common way, researchers that were examining this found that one common way we do this is when the server at the restaurant comes by our table and says, how is your meal? Is everything okay? And we say, oh, it's good. It's wonderful. Thank you very much. And we know it's horrible. It was terrible, but we don't want to tell them and we don't want to tell the cook how bad it was because we don't want to have a big scene. Researchers who studied that actually found that those individuals who lied in that situation also felt guilty enough about lying to the server that they increased their tip because they felt so bad about having lied to the server. Isn't that interesting? They thought they could atone for that. So actually it costs you money when you lie to avoid hurting someone's feelings. There's other many other examples that we could give in this situation. A fourth reason that we tell a lie. Oh, this is one that I've seen before, and I hope that I don't have to see it again. But sometimes people will tell a lie in order to get into a relationship with someone. And this is, this is a sad thing. Like someone, for instance, a young man may start coming to church all of a sudden and may start showing a spiritual interest because he has an interest in a young lady who is committed to the Lord. And he knows that she's faithful to the Lord and she's going to services and, and she's, so he'll start coming and he'll start bringing his Bible and acting like a good Christian so that he can get that girl. It's happened many, many times. Girls, you ought to pay attention to that. Let a guy prove his track record and demonstrate that he's sincere and real and that he's not just after you. And that's not why he's coming to church. A lot of times when girls fall into that trap, that same young man, as soon as he has conquered, because that's usually what men are interested in, is they're conquering, all right, I got her, she's married, she's mine, why do I need to go to church anymore? And they'll drop off the scene pretty quickly. And so sometimes people will tell a lie. By the way, telling a lie for that reason is in no one's best interest. It's going to create difficulty down the road. Sometimes we will tell a lie to preserve our self-esteem. Doesn't the world tell us we need to really jack up our self-esteem? And so we'll be careful. We don't want to admit in some area that we have done wrong. We don't want to admit that what we did was wrong. So we come up with every little scenario and explanation and covering and we try to make it sound so good. And it's all about this. I don't want to feel bad about myself. I don't want to admit that I have done wrong. And so we will lie sometimes to preserve our self esteem. Then number six, we will sometimes lie to shift the blame sometimes because we don't want to take the responsibility. We will say, well, it wasn't all my fault. I mean, After all, this other person was involved in it, all the while knowing that we were quite responsible. But if we can make it sound more like this other person was responsible and like they had a part, then maybe we won't feel so bad. And maybe this other person, our spouse or someone else that we're lying to will not blame us so much. And so we're really trying to save face in front of the other person. Number seven, another reason that we will sometimes tell a lie is to avoid a confrontation. We don't want to have a confrontation about something. And someone just asks us bluntly, maybe your spouse asks you, did I hurt your feelings? Are you upset with me? And sometimes wives can be notorious for this. No, I'm fine. I'm fine, I'm not upset. But you know that you're upset, you just don't wanna have a confrontation, so you tell a lie in order to not have a confrontation. Be careful about that. We ought to learn to speak the truth, and we'll talk about speaking the truth in a little bit. Number eight, we will sometimes tell a lie to get what we want, to get something for personal gain. For instance, a wife who maybe stretches the truth just a teensy tad to convince her husband that she needs a new washing machine, when you don't actually need a washing machine. But if you could just convince your husband that you need a washing machine, by the way, if your husband's so stingy that he won't buy you a washing machine when you ask for one, then don't lie to him either, all right? Help the poor guy out and just tell him the truth. So, sometimes we will lie to get what we want. You say the wives, they're the ones who are guilty of that. Well, you might have a husband who lies to his wife just a teensy little bit to explain why he needs a new truck, or a new four-wheeler, or a new motorcycle, or a new personal watercraft, or a new fishing rod, or a new hunting rifle. Are y'all getting the point? And so, uh, be careful about not speaking the truth. Number nine. Another reason that we sometimes will tell a lie is this. We tell ourselves a lot of lies to make ourselves feel better about our faults and failures. Did you know that the basis of all lying actually begins with lying to ourselves? It begins with telling ourselves that it's okay for me to lie in this situation. It's okay for me to not tell the truth in this situation. It's okay. And God will forgive me and God will overlook it. And after all, if Jesus was in this situation, I'm sure that he would have stretched the truth a little bit. All right, now you're out on a limb. because I doubt if he would. In fact, I know from the scriptures that he absolutely would not. And so we often will lie to ourselves and that is often the basis of our lying to others. That's some of the reasons that we tell a lie. You might have come up with a couple of others about why you've been tempted to lie. And I assume that all of you have been tempted to lie. And probably I don't think I'm off base by saying 100% of us in this room have been guilty of breaking that commandment and telling a lie. Second of all tonight, I want you to consider not just the reasons for lying, but I want you to consider with me the wrong of lying. After all, what's wrong with lying? I mean, what's the big deal? If I'm just telling a little white lie, if I'm just shading the truth a little bit, I mean, after all, aren't there some times when it would be okay to lie and wouldn't it be all right if I just tell a lie once in a while? And, and I don't see the big deal. I don't know that you're being honest with me that God is really concerned about this. Want to point out some things from the scriptures to you about why lying is wrong We could start right here in verse number 25 of our text Ephesians chapter 4 It does seem rather affirmative that God says putting away lying It seems as if God is very serious about us not being involved in telling a an untruth in us Shading the truth or telling a little white lie It seems that God is actually interested in us telling the truth. Would you agree with that tonight? I believe that's clear from the scriptures here. I asked myself, what is lying? Actually, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that lying is a sin of selfishness. Lying is a sin of selfishness because it shows that we are willing to change the truth in order to get what we want in the situation. We are willing to manipulate lying is a form of manipulation because we know what we want this person to do. And therefore we see the way to get this person to that goal is to tell them not the whole truth or just partial shades of the truth. We want to try to direct or steer these people to the right decision. And so it's justified in our minds that we tell a lie, but really what it is is selfishness. I'm going to tell you tonight that habits of lying can be extremely destructive in our homes. Have you noticed that little children don't need to be taught how to lie? I've always been fascinated with my kids the first time that they told me a lie. Because kids who tell their first lie are never good liars. And when I was a kid, I always wondered, how did my parents know that I was lying? Well, because now that I'm a parent, I realize it's written all over your face. You're telling them with your face that you are telling a lie and children don't need to be taught how to lie. It's not like they need to take lying 101 in Sunday school and be taught how to tell a lie there. They actually the Bible says come forth out of the womb speaking lies. The sad thing though is that many children have become refined in the art by watching their parents in action. And that is a scary thing. Because yeah, children are naturally liars, but how do children, some children get to be such good liars? I proposed to you that it could be because they've had some examples. The wrong of lying. Sadly, many people today, Christians included, are raising their children to lie about their family in public because they're desperately afraid that anyone will find out about the dysfunction of their family. And so they say, now you're going to keep the family secrets. You're not going to say anything about this. You're not going to talk about this problem in our home. You're not going to talk about that. Now I'm not proposing that you tell your children to go running around to all their friends and talking about any difficulties that you're having in your home. But let me say this, that if you encourage your children to lie about your family, you are a fool. You are teaching your children hypocrisy and lies. Do not be surprised if that comes around to bite you in the future. Many, many families are structured in that manner. You ask, what is the wrong of lying? What is it that's so wrong about telling a lie? It's nobody's business anyway. Why do people need to know the truth? Well, let's look at some biblical reasons. Turn with me in your Bibles. Hold your place here in Ephesians 4. Turn with me in your Bibles to the book of Psalms. I want you to look at Psalm 31 to begin with. I'm just going to give you several reasons for why I believe the scriptures teach that lying is wrong. Psalm 31 and verse number six. I want you to see this the psalmist writes here in verse number six of Psalm 31. I have hated them that regard Lying vanities, but I trust in the Lord notice that the psalmist creates a word picture He says there's two kinds of people there are those who trust in lying vanities a vanity is something that is hopeless That is baseless that has absolutely no value It's based on a lie and he says these individuals have put their confidence in a lying vanity, but I In contrast, have put my trust in the Lord. I'm going to propose to you this evening that one area that shows us that lying is wrong is because lying causes us to have a vain hope. A vain hope. Listen, when we start to establish patterns of lying, and we start to put a baseline of lying in our home, and we start to say lying is okay in certain situations, and tell our children there are certain areas that you're allowed to lie in, and you can just tell your teachers in this area, you can tell them this lie, it's okay, don't worry about it. You are starting to build a pattern in your home that will cause your children eventually to look to a vain hope. Hey, that's a sad and scary thing. And so we don't want to build that type of habit in our home. Turn over to Psalm 52. I want to show you another reason why lying is wrong. Psalm 52. Look with me at verse number three Psalm 52 verse number three says this thou love is evil more than good and lying rather than to speak righteousness. Notice how the the contrast is built there in verse number three between lying and righteousness I propose to you tonight that another reason that lying is wrong is because it's not consistent with righteousness. When we are telling that which is not true, when we are telling a half-truth or a little white lie or shading the truth a little bit, we are not being righteous, we are not speaking righteously, and we are going to find ourselves in a place of accountability to God. And so we ought to be careful because lying is not consistent with righteousness. No matter how much you justify it in your mind and tell yourself that it's okay, it doesn't make it right. Psalm 119, verse 163. Turn over there with me real quickly. Psalm 119, verse 163. Notice the psalmist here writes about his attitude towards lying. And he says this, I hate and abhor lying, but thy law do I love. He hated and he abhorred lying. But notice that the contrast is that lying is in opposition to God's word, to God's law. He says, I hate lying, but your word I love. I'm going to tell you tonight that lying is in opposition to God's word. When we are speaking in lies, we are not speaking scripturally. We're not speaking according to God's word. And so that is another reason that lying is wrong. Then I want you to think about this with me. Revelation chapter 19 and verse number 11. You don't need to turn there necessarily, but in Revelation 19 and verse number 11, the picture is of Jesus Christ coming back at his second coming at that great battle. And he is on a white horse. And the Bible says that on his vesture and on his thigh, his name is written. Do you remember his name? faithful and true Listen to this Lying is in opposition to God's nature God's name is true. His name is truth His nature is that which is true when we are telling a lie. We are picking the opposite of God's nature We are participating in something that is against God's nature the Bible describes our God as Him in whom there is no variableness, neither shadow of turning. The Bible tells us that it is impossible for God to lie. Therefore, how could we possibly say, I can lie and be in fellowship with God? We're finding ourselves in a dangerous position Because lying is in opposition not only to God's Word, but also to God's name in nature Then here's another reason why I believe lying is wrong Because the Bible says in Proverbs chapter 6 turn over there with me The Bible says in Proverbs chapter 6 in verse number 17 that God hates lying Look in Proverbs chapter 6 verse number 17. We should back up to verse 16 and see these things that God hates So Solomon writes here these six things doth the Lord hate yea seven are an abomination unto him a proud look a Lying tongue and hands that shed innocent blood and heart that devises missed wicked imaginations feet that be swift in running to mischief a false witness that speaketh lies and he that soweth discord among brethren you'll note there are These things that are listed and two of these things are lies. Did you see that one is a lying tongue? and one is a man who lies about his brother who runs to tell lies it is a slanderous type of a lie or a lie that is designed to hurt the character or the reputation of another person and the Bible says God hates these kind of lies and that ought to be reason enough for us to say Well, then I don't want to have anything to do with lying if God hates it Then I don't want to be found in that place Listen to Proverbs chapter 12 and verse number 22. The Bible says lying lips are an abomination to the Lord But they that deal truly are his delight. Let me ask you this question tonight Do you want to be abomination to God or do you want to be his delight? Because they're in Proverbs 12 22 it tells you exactly how you can be his delight and it tells you exactly how you can be An abomination to him and it's our choice about what we're going to do Are you going to be involved in lying or are you going to tell the truth now while we're here in Proverbs chapter 26? Let me give you another one Proverbs chapter 26 and verse number 28. I Lying is wrong for a number of reasons. Here's another reason that I'll give to you, because lying shows hatred for those that we lie to. It shows hatred for those that we lie to. Proverbs chapter 26 and verse number 28 says this, a lying tongue hateth those that are afflicted by it, and a flattering mouth worketh ruin. You see, flattery is telling something to someone that is not true in a good way. It's saying to them something that will make them feel good, but it's not true and we know it. And notice how God equates that with destruction for that individual. It is bringing about difficulty in their life. It's an affliction upon them. It works ruin in their life. You say, why is that? I'll tell you why, because you're not speaking the truth to them in love. And we could just apply this to your children. And you want to be super nice and sweet to your children. You want to be their best buddy and their best friend and all that sounds so nice. I just want to be my child's best friend. Yeah, but sometimes you have to be the parent. And sometimes you have to look your kid in the eye and say, you know what, this is enough of this nonsense of you being disrespectful to the teachers and to those who are in authority over you. I don't care if your feelings are hurt. You are wrong. As parents, we need to take that responsibility. You say, but I'd rather that, you know, I'll just kind of stand back and let the teachers deal with them. You scaredy cat, that's your job as a parent. Don't do that to the teachers. Don't tell them you're gonna deal with my kid and I don't wanna deal with them. You are the parent, be responsible. Your flattery is going to bring destruction in your children's life. Do you understand that? Destruction in your child's life. And so the Bible says that those who lie to others, they really hate. those people that they're lying to. Oh, we ought to think a couple of times about that when we're ready to tell a lie to someone. Because it's saying to that person, I really hate you. John chapter 8. Are you all still friends with me? Because I just want to be your friend. John chapter 8 verse 44. I really do, actually. I really do. John chapter 8 and verse 44. I'll be honest with you, studying for this message convicted me. Convicted me because I started to think you know what I? Don't know if I'm always truthful Sometimes it's more comfortable to tell a lie John 844 Jesus looked at the religious leaders of the day the Pharisees and he said ye are of your father the devil and the lusts of your father ye will do now Let's just pause right there And I'll just, any of you ever read Mr. Carnegie's book, How to Win Friends and Influence People? I don't think this is in there. Jesus is being very pointed in his rebuke of the Pharisees. He is telling them the truth. And you say, why was he telling them this? Because he loved them. He said you're of your father the devil the less of your father you will do. He was a murderer from the beginning and a boat not in the truth because there is no truth in him. When he speak of the lie he speak of his own for he is a liar and the father of it. You say what is another reason that lying is wrong. I believe that lying is wrong because it is spawned by Satan. When we are tempted to tell a lie, we are actually taking something that is a satanic device, and we are trying to put that to work, and shame on us if we're trying to use that device to strengthen or to build our families. How could we possibly think that God is going to honor that when we are telling lies to those who are around us? I'm telling you tonight, the reason that lying is wrong is because it destroys relationships by tearing at the fabric of trust. Oh, it's all well and good if you tell a lie and no one finds out. But the truth is that eventually someone finds out. Someone realizes that you have told a lie. What a sad thing it is for a wife to discover that her husband has been lying to her. or for a husband to find that his wife has been lying to her. The betrayal and the hurt that is found there will be very difficult to deal with. I mentioned it in the introduction to the message that trust is a necessity. In fact, I say this trust is the currency of relationships. If we do not have trust, We cannot have a successful relationship. It's absolutely critical. Without trust, we cannot have a relationship with one another. How do we build trust in our relationships? How do we cultivate this? I'm going to say to you tonight, and many of you who've been married for a long time, you could attest to the truth of this. We build trust in our relationships by careful and consistent truthfulness and honest dealings with one another. How many lies does it take to destroy a fabric of trust that has been built up over years? How many lies? One lie. How many politicians are found having told a lie? Men that maybe a lot of voters looked at and thought that they had a good character, that they were relatively honest and had in their heart the good of the people, and then they're found in some situation where, for instance, they are found cheating on their wife. What does that do to their reputation? No, I know in our culture there are people who say it's irrelevant. It has nothing to do with it. It has everything to do with it. If a man cannot be trusted in his marriage vows, then how can we trust him to lead our country? I still believe, by the way, that divorce disqualifies a man for the ministry. And I believe this for this reason, because if a man is not faithful to his marriage vows, how can we trust him to lead the house of God? You all understand what I'm saying? There is trust that is the currency of relationship. We've got to be careful in our relationships to tell the truth, to consistently and regularly and carefully and even in risky, difficult situations to tell the truth. Tell the truth. Here's another reason why you ought to avoid lying. This is not necessarily biblical, although there are some biblical ties to it. Did you know that lying causes stress and anxiety? You say, oh no, I'm a cool, calm liar. Maybe you feel that you're a sociopathic liar. Interestingly enough, the premise of a lie detector test, do you know how they detect whether you're lying? It's the stress levels in your body. There's four different things that they measure to indicate stress in your body. And listen to this. They tell us, scientists tell us, that that test is 98 to 99% accurate. Someone, for instance, may be able to control their blood pressure from going up, but there will be some other thing that will go up, and they can't control all four at the same time. So researchers say, listen, that lie detector test, that is accurate. If it comes back, then that person, there's a very, very, very high chance that that person has lied. Wow. So lying causes stress and anxiety. I propose to you as a Christian that God would rather have you have peace and joy and contentment. But you know, when we make lying a part of our life, then we start to lose our peace and our joy and our contentment, do we not? And we ought to be careful about lying because it causes stress and anxiety. Well, there's a whole bunch of reasons that lying is wrong. And we ask ourselves the question, then let's go back to our text in Ephesians chapter four, We ask ourselves the question, well, what is the remedy to lying? If lying is such a part of our culture and such a part of who we are, and I challenge you just to sit tonight and think in the quietness of your home and ask yourself, what are some times that I am tempted to tell a lie? When are some situations where I'm tempted to stretch the truth or to gloss over something or to try to deceive, oh, we ought to be careful about that and we ought to really evaluate in our life. We ask ourselves a question tonight, what is the remedy for lying? We've seen some reasons for lying. We've seen the wrong of lying. I want to give you tonight a remedy for lying. First of all, I believe that we ought to confess lying as sin against God and others. You say, why is it important that I would confess my sin as being against God and others? I'm going to tell you this, because we make excuses for our lies, because we justify them. We have got five good reasons why we should be able to lie to this individual and why it's okay and why it's not a big deal. And we need to really get honest with ourselves and with God and say, God, this is not all right. This is a sin against you. And this is a sin against this person that I'm being tempted to lie against. We ought to confess it as sin against God and others. The Bible says here in Ephesians chapter 4 and verse number 25, wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbors. We'll get to the positive side of this, but thinking about putting away lying, we want to put it away. We want to put it in storage. We want to put it in mothballs, get it away from us and stop living in this pattern. We're going to have to confess that lying is sin against God. Let me challenge you with this thought tonight. If you lie to someone, then just make it your policy that you are going to confess it to them as sin and ask for their forgiveness. You say, why? Oh, you'll be less tempted to tell a lie next time, won't you? Because you know that you've already agreed with God that if you get caught in a lie by the Holy Spirit of God, that you're going to go and make that thing right. And so and by the way, that'll help your relationships, too. I think most of us are familiar with the fact that we tell lies, aren't we? Are you all on the same page with that? I know some of you are perfect and you never tell a lie. But I think it says a lot to someone if we go to them and say, you know what, I didn't tell the truth in this situation and this is what is true. Confess lying as sin against God and others. It's the first step by the way of restoration in your family relationships. If you know that you've been lying to your spouse, you ought to think about how you can confess that sin to them and let them know and make that right before them. Second of all, not only should we confess that sin as lying as sin against God, but second of all, we ought to make a conscious choice to put lying away in our dealings with others. We ought to make a conscious choice. He says here in verse number 25, putting away lying. Now, it's interesting that that idea of putting away is not this idea that we do it once. Wouldn't it be nice if you could take the habit of lying and you could just take it home with you tonight, put it in a cabinet, close the door and lock it and never take it out again and never be bothered with it. But notice how he says, putting away lying. In other words, because lying is oftentimes such a part of who we are, it's a part of our culture, it's a part of the world around us, we're going to have to make this choice over and over and over and over and over and over again. It's a continual action that we are taking of putting away lying in our life. Now, we ought to make a conscious choice to do this. One way that you can do this is to try to keep track of how many lies you tell during the day. Just make a little hash mark. That was a lie. Of course, if you go back and confess it as a lie, that'll make it even more put more teeth to it. Are you all still with me? All right, number three. a remedy for lying, we ought to strive for truth in the inward parts. Psalm 51.6, I want you to hold your place here in Ephesians 4 and turn with me to Psalm 51. Of course, you know, the context of Psalm 51 is David confessing his sin with Bathsheba to God. And David had constructed a horrific lie in order to cover his sin. And in Psalm 51 in verse number six, of course, throughout the chapter, he's confessing his sin to God, requesting that God would cleanse him and purge him. And he says this in verse six, behold, thou desirous truth in the inward parts. And in the hidden part, thou shalt make me to know wisdom. I believe what David is saying is this. When we're going to resolve to tell the truth, we must learn to tell ourselves the truth first. We've got to get to the place where we stop telling lies to ourselves. We need to allow the Word of God to renew our thinking about what is the truth. Learn to speak truth to yourself and learn to think biblically and scripturally It will help you to get past this sin of lying in your life. And by the way, that sin is bringing great destruction in your home whenever you indulge in it. And so he says we ought to strive for truth in the inward parts. I believe part of this is allowing the word of God to be a light To our heart to shine in there and to show us where we've been inconsistent and where we've been Not truthful and where we have succumbed to lying We ought to allow the Word of God to be the examiner of our heart strive for truth in the inward parts number four if we're going to Get the victory in this area the remedy for lying number four is this refuse to replace lying with brutal honesty Have you ever heard somebody say that? I don't tell lies, I'm brutally honest. No, you're not brutally honest, you're just brutal. That's the truth. You don't have to be brutal when you tell the truth. Actually, Ephesians chapter 4, I'm going to demonstrate it to you from scripture because some of you aren't sure. Ephesians chapter 4 and verse number 15 says this, but speaking the truth in love may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ. Now, does that mean that we should never speak plainly or clearly? Absolutely not. What it is addressing is what is my heart attitude? You know, when people say they're brutally honest, what they mean is I beat people over the head with the truth. When I get angry enough with them, then I come after them with all guns blazing to tell them how crazy they are and how this they are and how that they are. And I'm brutally honest. No, you're in the flesh. You're not speaking the truth in love. It is not required for us to be brutally honest. In fact, Jesus Christ, though he said many pointed things, Jesus Christ is the epitome of mercy and truth coming together. The Bible says about Jesus Christ, mercy and truth have kissed each other. I like that verse. Jesus was both merciful and truthful. He had the attitude of love, but he always spoke the truth. We ought to make that our goal in our homes to have the attitude and the spirit of love and with that spirit of love to speak the truth to those who are around us. Number five. Number five, if we are going to grow in this area and institute a remedy for lying, I believe number five, we need to actively choose truth in our conversations with others. In our text here in Ephesians four, he says, wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbor. So he says there's a choice that we have in our conversations. We can either lie or we can tell the truth. We can either fib or we can be honest. We can either color the truth or we can just be forthright about what is the truth in this matter. And God is very clear. He says, choose the truth in your life. Now, if you have the Spirit of God within you, you're empowered by the Spirit of God, then I believe that you know that you ought to speak the truth. And I believe that the Spirit of God is working in your life. Do you know that sensation that you get when you're being tempted to tell a lie? The tension that is inside that says, if I tell the truth, this, this, this, and this might happen. And it would be so much easier in this situation for me just to, just to tell a little bit of a lie and I could avoid all those unpleasant circumstances and everything would be okay. But in light of the message tonight, I propose to you that everything will not be okay. When you feel that tension and that temptation to tell a lie, then I want to encourage you to choose to tell the truth instead. I have this in my notes, telling the truth is not always easier, but it is always right. As Christians, we ought to strive to make our homes a haven for the truth. By the way, this is a difficult skill to teach to our children, isn't it? Because they're liars from the womb. They come forth speaking lies. They are pre-programmed in the area of deceitfulness. And as parents, we need to help our children learn how to tell the truth, even when it's difficult. We need to walk them through that scenario and train them in this area of telling the truth so that they will learn how to tell the truth. I'll never forget years ago, One of our young men was at a youth activity. And in a moment of foolishness, he threw a rock. And in throwing that rock, he broke a window. And that young man was of course perturbed about what was going to happen and what the consequences of that were. But he realized this. He said, you know what? I need to deal with this truthfully. I'll never forget this because that young man marched straight over to Pastor Hammett's house at that time. and said, Pastor, I have something I need to tell you. I broke such and such a window. It was my fault. I did it. I was wrong. And I just wanted to make sure that you know. My dad was so blown away by his honesty that he said, I appreciate your honesty. I appreciate you being clear about that. And I believe in that situation, if I remember correctly, he forgave that offense because that young man was so forthright. And that's uncharacteristic, isn't it? No, don't tell anybody. Shh. We'll get away with it. You won't get away with anything. The remedy for lying. If I could encourage you tonight, it is in this that as believers, we ought to be known for keeping our word. Now, I believe that Most of you in this room would say, that's the reputation that I have, is that I'm known for keeping my word, that I tell the truth. But now I want you to dig down deeper into the heart issues, into the tendency or the temptation that you have maybe to tell some lies that nobody knows but God. and be honest with yourself and ask yourself, can I grow in this area of my life? Oh, how we need to speak truth in our homes, how we need to speak the truth in love, how we need to follow the sound counsel of the apostle Paul, allow ourselves to be filled with the spirit of God, to put away lying and to speak every man truth with his neighbor. I propose to you tonight that just this one thing of speaking the truth in our homes, could make a major difference in many of our children's lives. Tonight, would you consider this challenge to speak the truth in love in your home? Let's stand together with our heads bowed and our eyes closed. No one is looking around tonight. The pianist is going to come and they're going to play that song, Have Thine Own Way, Lord, Have Thine Own Way. Now tonight, perhaps God has stirred in your heart, has convicted you about something, and we want to invite you to come and do business with the Lord. I trust that God has convicted you in some way in your life and maybe brought something to your attention that you hadn't thought of before. But tonight in our homes, let's resolve to be truth tellers. Let's come tonight, if God has laid this on your heart, and pray for your children, that you can train them to be truth tellers and not to be deceitful. How to get that, weed that out of their hearts. But tonight, let's do business with God. Heavenly Father, would you have your will in your way in our lives? We thank you for these thoughts. And Lord, we do recognize that because of our sinful nature, because of our tendency to think of ourselves more highly than we ought to think, because of our concern for our selfish desires that sometimes we are tempted to tell a lie. Sometimes we are tempted to stretch the truth or to shade the truth. Sometimes we justify it in our minds and we put it outside of our responsibility. But Father, tonight, I pray that you'd convict us and help us, Lord, to have a clear conscience towards you in this matter. I pray that even tonight might be a fresh start in some homes as some parents would get it on their heart to be truthful with one another and with their children. I pray, Heavenly Father, that you would build strong homes in this church, that we might see the Spirit of God evidenced in our homes, that our children might come to know you. Lord, I pray that you'd continue to work as you already have in our hearts, and we pray and ask all these things in Jesus' name and for his sake. Amen.