Philippians chapter 2 in your Bible this evening. This coming Wednesday night, Pastor Morris will be completing his excellent series on the topic of forgiveness. Becky, where's Morris? Oh, he's coming around the back. Okay, there you are. Hey, Pastor Morris. He's going to be finishing his excellent series on the topic of forgiveness. Now, he has really dug deeply into that, primarily because a lot of people look for an excuse not to be forgiving. and he has taken away those excuses from us. You know, there are certain things that are issues in the Christian life. One of them, honestly, is forgiveness. I've said this a few times, that whenever I go out of town and preach for a series of messages, unless the pastor has assigned me to a topic, I almost always will preach one message on the topic of forgiveness, because I know that that's a needed message wherever I would go. But it is also, it's controversial, Because after the service, I've never had any preaching where people, more people have come up to me afterwards and argued with me over the matter of forgiveness. Now, Pastor Morris, has anyone argued over the matter of forgiveness with you? They've discussed it, they've discussed it, okay. Let me give you a word of warning. I would never argue with Morris, okay, that's a word of warning. Discussion is fine. But a lot of people want to hold, and why would we argue about forgiveness? Why would we be stingy in forgiveness? We should be generous with forgiveness. But perhaps, for some people, one of the motivating factors is, something that is in their heart that they don't even realize is there. I'm gonna talk about that this evening. Your Bible is open to Philippians chapter two. Philippians chapter two to your Bible, verse number one. The Bible says this, if there be therefore any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any bowels and mercies, that's talking about tenderness and compassion. Fulfill ye my joy that he be like-minded. This is very major, major theme of the Apostle Paul was unity. A few weeks ago I was teaching at Pensacola Theological Seminary and through the book of First Corinthians and it is striking to me that a book, the Corinthian church was a very troubled church. It is striking to me that that book and that book of the Bible, Paul would spend the first four chapters dealing with unity. The first four chapters. If you read your New Testament epistles over and over again, Paul writes to the church and says it is essential that he be unified. Now it isn't essential that everyone has the same ideas on everything. That's not an essential. But it is essential that we be unified on the main things and that we maintain the spirit of unity within the local church. I had the opportunity this week of meeting with a young pastor. He pastors in a state distant from here. And I met him halfway. It was a couple hours drive. I met him halfway at his request to sit down with him and talk to him about a church problem. And he has two people in his church that are just a problem. They're just a problem. He can't do anything right. And by the way, brilliant young man. I taught him on the PhD level at Pensacola Theological Seminary. He has been in full-time Christian service since 2010. So he's experienced, brilliant young man. Probably one of the kindest young men I've ever met. Good preacher, good speaker, all of that. But they're two people that just want to stir it up constantly in the church. And I'll tell you folks, you say, Pastor Monty, what was your advice to him? I said, well, I said, you're a shepherd, and a shepherd sometimes has to deal with wolves. It's absolutely true. And if the unity of the local church is destroyed or damaged or threatened, it's at that point that a shepherd has to deal with that. And so Paul said, he said this, he said, fulfill you my joy, that you be like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Paul said, the one thing that's gonna make me happy is if y'all get along. Verse three, this is very key. Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory. The whole idea of strife and vainglory is something that is motivated by selfishness or a focus on self. Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. So part of the key to unity is to listen to the thoughts and the ideas and the opinions of another person and be willing to admit to myself that that person may be right and I may be wrong. That's a hallmark of humility. If someone has to be right every single time, they're not a humble person in their heart. And then he says this in verse number four. We're going to focus a moment on verse 4, and then we'll get to some things that I feel like I want to say tonight. What in the world does that mean? Now, you have to look to some of the things in your life. You've got to do that. You have to take care of the bills. You've got to mow the lawn. You've got to clean the house. You've got to do the dishes. You've got to do the laundry. When Kelly was traveling out of town for a couple weeks to Alaska, I was tasked for two weeks. This has never happened in all of our marriage. For two weeks, I was alone at the house. And you say, Pastor, was it a disaster? No, no, no, no, no. Gentlemen, if your wife's out of town or something, there's a fine line, okay? You cannot have her come home to a filthy house. That will not be a good thing. You cannot do that. However, however, you cannot let her come home to a perfect house that looks better than when she's in charge, okay? That will be equally offensive. You have to figure out the exact fine line of moderate filth. You have to figure that out. The exact fine line where it looks like you struggled, but you didn't dump a trash truck in the house. And so I was striving to come to that fine line. But you have to take care of things. I did the laundry. Pastor Monty, do you know how to do the laundry? All you gotta do is watch YouTube. It'll tell you exactly how to do the laundry. And I did the laundry and figured all that out. But, you know, if you keep up with it, that'll keep it from becoming a chore. But you've got to look after some things. It says, look not every man on his own things, things that are only his, but every man also on the things of others. Now, that is not saying that you're supposed to be nosy and intrusive into the lives of another person. You're never supposed to do that. But what it does mean is this. The things that are of concern to another person should be a concern to me. I should not be so focused on my goals, my dreams, my desires, that I have no care or concern for someone else. In other words, verse number four nails to the wall the issue of selfishness. Selfishness. When an individual is self-centered. I'm gonna come back to that idea in a moment. Let every mind, pardon me, verse five, let this mind be in you. which was also in Christ Jesus. Now, by the way, I want you to notice something. Verse number two says like-minded. The end of verse number two says of one mind. The next, verse number three, says lowliness of mind. Now, in verse number five, it uses the word mind again. He is telling you how to think. Selfishness begins in your thinking. The corrective to selfishness begins when you change your thinking. Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus. Here is the attitude, the heart, the mind of Christ. Who being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God. It wasn't because he is God. But, verse seven, Jesus, the God man, God come in the flesh, but made himself of no reputation and took upon him the form of a servant, God becoming a servant to man. God humbling himself. God taking upon himself flesh, but made himself of no reputation and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men, God as a man. And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself. I want you to think about that for a moment. You are to have the mind of Christ in regard to your humility. You're to have the mind of Christ in regard to your humility. Pastor, what does that look like? That means I am not always right, that means God has called me to serve, and that means my focus should not always be selfish and self-serving. Being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross. Tonight I'm going to preach just a quick message on the topic, symptoms of selfishness. Symptoms of selfishness. Now, by way of continued introduction, How many of you have ever heard the word thrown about? It's a very popular word, very popular word. People like how it sounds. When they use this word, it makes them sound super smart. When they label someone with this term, it makes them sound clinically intelligent. Are you ready for the word? the word narcissism. How many have heard that word? Oh, yeah, yeah. Narcissism is quite possibly one of the most overused words in contemporary English speech. I would be very careful. I've heard from people over and over again who have a disagreement with someone. Maybe a man has a disagreement with his wife, and the man will say something like this. Pastor Bonnie, we've had a disagreement. She's a narcissist. Be very careful about that label. In fact, did you know that technically speaking, you are not qualified to label anyone as a narcissist? Pastor, I am too qualified. I read about it on a blog online and I know all about it. No, no, no. that is actually a very technical, psychological, medical diagnosis. You say, Pastor, what does it mean? It means someone who is completely, 100%, without any exception in the world, self-centered and self-focused, thoroughly, through and through, blood, body, and bone, selfish. It is not a common disorder. It is not so common as people who like to label other people as narcissistic think. So be very careful. I've had people label someone as a narcissist, and I've even asked them, well, what qualifies you to make a medical diagnosis like that? What qualifies you? And they're standoffish about that a little bit. That is an extreme label. Now, having said that, Understand that there are selfish tendencies in every human being, all of us. All of us have selfish tendencies. And it is something that we are commanded, I've just read the scripture to you, we are commanded in scripture to avoid. It is something we're commanded to curb. No one will be able 100% to curb their selfishness, but you should be able to recognize it. But here's the caveat. Selfish people typically think so highly of themselves that they have trouble admitting and identifying the problem. Do you know the same thing is true of crazy people? You know what one of the marks of crazy is? One of the marks of crazy is you can't see yourself as crazy. That's one of the marks of crazy. Everybody else sees it. We all see it. Trust me, we all see it. We know, but you can't see it even if you were confronted with it. Well, this is often the case of a person who is selfish. So what I did was this, looking at verse number four again, where the Bible says, look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others, I compiled a brief list of symptoms of selfishness. Now listen, oh Pastor Monty, I'm so glad you're preaching on this. It's so good, yeah, this is gonna be good. My wife needs to hear this. If that's what you're thinking, you have one of the symptoms. If you're going to apply the message to someone else tonight, other than your, see, I'm not asking you to diagnose your wife or your kids or your mom or dad. I'm not asking for you to do that. I'm asking you tonight to take the opportunity for a little introspection, a little self-thinking, and ask yourself, am I, not somebody else, am I guilty of selfishness? Am I an individual? who rarely, if at any time, looks at the things of others. Am I somebody who is only and always concentrated on the things of self? You say, Pastor, why is this important? Selfishness will destroy all human relationships, everything, from families to marriages to friendships, it'll wreck it all. Okay, let me give you the test. Are you ready for the test? Remember, you're testing yourself. Testing yourself means this, that when I hit a salient point, you are not going to nudge your spouse. Ladies. None of that arm nudging now. You're testing yourself. Symptom number one, symptom number one is obvious. Selfish people put themselves first on a consistent basis. What is important to them must be the most important thing. And by putting themselves first, they either force that or their agenda always gears toward themselves. In other words, they're never interested in someone else's problem, issue, or need, or by the way, someone else's success. They're not interested in that. They're only interested in themselves. So selfish people put themselves first on a consistent basis. In other words, they never step back from center stage of their own life long enough to help someone else. If you're very, very selfish, you don't even see the need of someone else. May I share something that's a little bothersome to me sometimes? I'm not chiding anyone. But you know, you should come to church early. It's good to come to church early. But rather than just camp in a seat and stare at your phone until the music starts, you should be at church early. and be looking to encourage someone else. When I come to church, I'm always scanning the crowd for new people or people that maybe I don't know. Or maybe I'm scanning the crowd for that person that I know through the prayer request emails, had a hard week or something. And I'm purposing in my mind, I'm going to talk to this person, this person, this person. If I see them, I'm going to speak to them. Well, Pastor Monty, now, you know, I have very important things to deal with on my phone on Sunday afternoon. No, you don't. No, you don't. And the truth of the matter is, we hunker down in church, waiting for something to happen to entertain us or to tickle us spiritually. And if it doesn't do so adequately, we become very benevolent critics, I hope it's benevolent criticism, benevolent critics of the entire thing, from the music program to the sermon, we benevolently criticize all of that and we somehow feel like, well, you know, on a scale of one to 10, Today was maybe a six or a seven. Do you know how you can make every Sunday a 10? I'll tell you how you can't, by depending on the sermon. It ain't gonna work. How can I make every Sunday a 10? When I come to church with the idea that as a member of this church, I am going to minister to the needs of somebody else, I'm not going to sit there listening as a critic and oh, you know, that was a sour note that the choir struck and oh, what was that instrument in the orchestra? I'm not gonna do that. I'm going to say I am here by the grace of God to help somebody out. Now listen. That's a revolutionary idea. A selfish person puts themselves first on a consistent basis. Let me give you another one. Selfish people think others are being selfish if they fail to put them first. Now there's a little confusion of pronoun reference in that sentence, so let me explain it. Selfish people, those who are selfish, think that others are being selfish if those other people fail to put them first. Does everybody get that? Or is this too much on a Sunday afternoon? It's too much for some of you. In other words, if I'm selfish, I will view someone else selfish if that other person fails to put me first. Because I have to be first, and they should know that. In other words, I'm very quick to blame someone else for selfishness, and it's always concerning the things of me. It's always surrounding about me. So what is my attitude toward other people? These people are all just selfish. They're not paying attention to me. When you say things like that or think things like that, it is you who are the selfish one because you're vying for the attention that you're failing to get. Is everybody following me on this? I remember years ago one time, many years ago, probably 20 years ago now, more than that. There was a lady who came to church occasionally, not all the time, and she got sick. She wasn't part of Sunday school class. She wasn't very much involved in church. She got sick, didn't tell anybody about it. By the way, look at me. Contrary to your thinking, I am not clairvoyant. Okay, unless you tell me, I won't know that you're in the hospital. Well, Pastor Monty, I put it on Facebook. I don't have Facebook. I put it on, blah, blah. I don't have that. So communication directly to me and my secretary will help me to know these things, okay? This lady got sick. She was in the hospital. She didn't tell anybody. She expected everybody to figure it out. Nobody figured it out. Then later, she called me very upset, very upset. I didn't even know she had a problem. Very upset. Pashumani, I was in the hospital and then I came home and I was incapacitated for several days and nobody brought me meals on the meal train. Nobody did, nobody did. And my immediate thought was this, did this lady ever participate in the meal train for other people? And I asked her that. I said, have you ever made meals for other people on the meal train? Whatever that thing is, the thing that goes out for meals. Have you ever done that? I didn't yell at her. I said kindly. Have you ever done that? She said, well, no, I haven't. And that was all it took. She understood right then and there that focus on self, that if I don't get adequate attention, somehow the problem is with everyone else. That is a sign of selfishness. Let me give you a third one. Selfish people lack compassion. They lack compassion. Because if the problem does not affect them, it's not important. And so they cannot put their, they cannot walk in another person's shoes. They do not empathize or sympathize with anyone because unless it involves me, I don't really care. They struggle to have a broken heart. for broken people. They struggle to understand that in church sometimes people come looking for encouragement, and they overlook them because they simply don't have compassion. They hear a prayer request, and they don't pray about it because they don't feel, well, pastor, you know, if it involved me, I would hope every member of the church prayed, but they don't pray. because they have no compassion. It doesn't involve them. They never put themselves in that person's situation. And what is worse, sometimes they harden their hearts toward them. Well, you know, pastor, I just want you to know, he is in the place he is today because of the decisions that he has made. Wow, you're brilliant. What a great detective you are. Someone ought to hire you with the FBI for that level of, well, maybe not, but something else. I was gonna say the CIA, but that's just as bad. Somebody ought to hire you as a private detective for as brilliant as you are. The truth of the matter is, to one degree or another, we have all put ourselves in the place where we are, and when we make mistakes, It really should demand the compassion of others and not their judgment. I hope you're hearing me. Selfish people lack compassion. Number four, selfish people are quick to judge and dismiss others. Why is that? They're quick to judge and dismiss others. Why is that? Because if you do anything other than judge and dismiss, you might have to get involved. And getting involved is costly from a sometimes resource standpoint, from a time standpoint. And so if I hear something, I can simply judge a person quickly and then dismiss them so in no way, shape, or form will I feel encumbered by that individual. And so we say things like this, well, that person's just dumb. Well, he got what's coming to him. Things like that. We just dismiss people. Can I say something about that church? That is ungodly. Okay, well, Pastor Marty, you know, they made their bed, they need to lie in it. Well, the Bible does say, as we sow, we're going to reap. But when I use a statement like they made their bed, they have to lie in it, when I use that statement in a dismissive way, it means I don't care about the plight of someone else, by the way, even the self-imposed plight of someone else, it means I really don't care about that person. I had a neighbor that moved away. who was acclaimed to be a Christian. Oh, she was the best Christian in the world, especially when she was talking to me, the preacher. Best Christian in the world. Now, her Christianity didn't get her to come to church, but she was the best Christian in the world. And we had other neighbors that had some personal problems. And every time she saw me in the yard, I'm so glad these people moved away. Every time she saw me in the yard, she'd come hustling over to tell me all the bad things that the neighbors had done, and to syrupy, sweet, pour-out stuff spiritually. It was all about what God said to her. God told her this, and God told her that, and God told her the other thing. And I'm thinking, no wonder I'm not hearing from God. He's busy talking to her. And, you know, I'm thinking, this is crazy. But always something negative. And one day she spoke of one of our other neighbors and she said, well, she said, me and my husband, we don't associate with people like that. as if some other human being was beneath her and low life. May I say that that is the most distasteful form of religion I can imagine. And nothing causes me to bristle faster. than someone who says they will not associate with another human being who is made in the image of God, a human being for whom Christ died, someone that is in need, well, they made their choice, fine, but someone who is in need, when they will dismiss and write them off and instantaneously not care and judge and move on, all that speaks to me is ultimate selfishness. Every step of the way. See, sometimes selfishness looks a little different than we had imagined. These selfish people are quick to judge and dismiss other people. Next one, selfish people guard their comfort zone. Let me pause here for a moment. Selfish people guard their comfort zone. You see, selfish people don't want to go out of the way for anybody else, but their comfort zone, their personal comfort zone is very important to them. It has to go down my way. This church, this building is better. The old auditorium used to be hard to heat and cool. It was either so cold you felt like we're going to hang meat in there, or it was so hot you thought the preacher was preaching about hell. It was one or the other in that old auditorium. I could never get it right. I could never get it right. And I had so many people come up to me, sometimes livid. There were several times. Livid testimony. It is so cold in here. Then I'd have other people, typically menopausal women, who would be like, Pastramani, it's so hot in here, I can't stand it. May I make a suggestion? It's okay to come out of my comfort zone And to even, I'll use a Bible word here, to even suffer a little bit. But it amazes me how many people are so quick to want their way. They have to be comfortable. I have to like this, and I have to like this, and I have to like this. They're selfish. They guard their comfort zone religiously. Next one, selfish people. are demanding, okay? They're demanding. They want something, but they hardly or rarely give themselves to others. Very demanding. Pastor, I demand a certain level, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But they don't give. That's a mark of selfishness. They're very demanding. Let me give you another one. Selfish people insist on conformity to their personal agenda. Let me repeat that one. Selfish people insist on conformity to their personal agenda. It's not enough for a selfish person to have his own agenda that he works on. Everyone else in the world must conform to that agenda to be just like them or they're very uncomfortable with that. You know, nowhere in the scripture does it teach that kind of thinking. And a selfish person wants certain things to happen, and they may have certain reasons they want them to happen, and the reasons might be okay reasons, but they're going to work and strive and argue and push until they get their way and their agenda is number one. Have you ever thought about this? If I'm looking on the needs of another person, my agenda may well change. I read a book years ago about building margin. In fact, the book is called Margin by a Christian psychologist. I read this book years ago about building margin into your life. He said this, he said 80% of your life, I'm paraphrasing the book, now you don't have to buy the book. I'll tell you what the book says. 80% of your life should be filled with stuff. You should get up in the morning and have something to do in general with 80% of your time. That makes sense. If you're sitting in front of the TV watching soap operas and eating bonbons, you've got a problem. So 80%, I've got something to do 80% of the time. Pastor, what's the 20%? The 20% is what this author calls margin. Margin is the 20% of my life that is negotiable so that I can accept opportunities that arise. That could be a leisure opportunity, it could be at home with my family. As someone said about Pastor Ronnie, you're not really working unless you're working 110%. You are headed straight to burnout. And you know what, if you fill your day, every moment of your day with your own personal agenda, with the things that mean something to you and mean nothing to anybody else, if you focus on that and fill your whole day with that, what do you do when an opportunity arises? I love to have enough margin. That's a great word for this. I love to have enough margin in my day so that when someone calls out of the clear blue, and has a real need, that I can respond to that need in a timely manner, or when an opportunity arises, that I can say, yes, I can help you with that. Yes, I can pray with you. Yes, I can meet with you. I've had in the last few weeks some guests come, different ones, some pastors, not even Baptists, but some pastors come, and other ones who come, come to church, hey, can I see Pastor Monty? The secretary will check on me, and if I'm available, and I try to make myself available, yes, I want to see that person. Why? It's margin, okay? It's give, well, pastor, I'm sure you're very busy and you have 10,000 things to do. You wouldn't believe it. You wouldn't believe it. But I have enough margin to set aside a little time to help someone else to go away from my personal agenda. So selfish people insist on conformity to their personal agenda. Next one, selfish people view themselves as the standard to which others should attain. They're better, they're smarter, they've set the standard. They're high up here, everyone else is way down here, but everybody else needs to attain to my level of existence. And whenever we say that, that denies the whole idea in the Bible that every person is individually gifted. There are things that I am good at. There are things that I am not good at, admittedly. And it would be wrong for me to hold every person to my standard of success where I'm good. I love public speaking. I love it. I love it. I can publicly speak whether I have something to say or not. My wife is amazed by that. She says, you can just stand up and start talking. And I'll inspire myself while I'm speaking. I just love it. I love to be up in front of an audience and say, Pastor Monning, does it make you nervous? No. No. Why would it make you nervous to talk in front of people that aren't even listening? Okay? They're not examining every word you say. I have to fight to get people's attention. I know that. But I love it. But what if... It's just us here tonight. Why don't you think about this? Just us here tonight. How many of you say, Pastor Monty, I'm at least nervous. I exist between the realm of nervous and absolutely terrified. I'm somewhere in between there when it comes to public speaking. How many would say that? Just raise your hand. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Beth? No, you're not. What? Jay, is she? I didn't think so either. She loves that. Beth, you love to publicly speak. Put a bullhorn in your hand and you're all over it, okay? But what if one of you, who is afraid of public speaking, what if I said to you, hey, I'm gonna have you speak on a Sunday night. money no no no I'm not gonna do it I there's no way it'll keep me up at night all the before Sunday I'll be up every night I'm not gonna do it and what if I looked in and said listen you're being silly rise up and just do it rise up to what I'm good at rise up to what I love do you know what that is That's selfish on my part. Do you know why? Because not every person, as Kelly calls it, I have the spiritual gift of gab, that's what she tells me, not every person is gifted that way. And it is selfish for me to expect every person to rise to my level, my level of accomplishment, wherever that might be, to rise to my level. Next one, selfish people view others as, no, this is a good one. Selfish people view others as the source of their troubles and they never consider themselves. Selfish people view other people as the source of their troubles and they never consider themselves. And I really want you to zero in on this. I'm going to ask you a serious question. Do you want to ruin your marriage? You want to ruin your marriage. No, Pastor Monty, I don't want to ruin my marriage. In fact, I could have a really good marriage if it weren't for my wife. Okay, that is the precise problem that ruins a marriage. Because selfish people inevitably find someone else as the source of their problems. And they will not consider that their problem, the problem may come from them. And then our wives, I'm just using a negative male example tonight, our wives will gently and subtly hint that maybe we should consider X, Y, and Z. And we're not even going to hear about it. Because we know we're better than that. We know we're not the problem. We know we're not guilty. So men who are not very analytical, who do not have the ability to parse through the issues of a relationship, when they are confronted by what is truly their problem, they will reject the confrontation, and in their heart, they'll say this, ah, she's crazy. You wouldn't believe how many times I've heard that. And the reality is, the problem may well be with him. I had a man a while back tell me, pastor, I didn't do anything wrong. I didn't do anything wrong for any married person. male or female, to ever profess that they have never done anything wrong is the tantamount of ridiculous. And the moment I heard it, I knew precisely where the problem lay, and it was not with her. Selfish people always think they have the answers, that the other person is causing the problem, that the other person is the issue. They simply cannot see themselves as the issue here. And no matter how many people tell them, they reject that idea. Why? Because it bruises the ego. They reject that idea. Number one, next one, selfish people make their spouse miserable a significant percentage of the time. Now remember, we're talking about symptoms of selfishness. If Kelly is miserable a significant portion of the time, It is likely my fault. If she's miserable, Pastor Marty, what is a significant percentage? I'm not sure. But I mean it's significant. Most times she's miserable, and if it's not caused by an outward circumstance or a disease or something of that nature, and it's caused by me, then it is very likely that I am the source of her misery. Well, you know, she's just mad all the time. What's she mad about? Well, I don't know. I bet she's told you. I bet she's more than hinted. Well, I'm not sure. She's just always mad. She always gets upset. She always gets wound up. Could it not be? that I can be the source. I have been in my life. Open, honest confession, I have been. Could it not be that I am the source of my spouse, my wife's misery? And if I am the source of that, a significant percentage of the time of her life, then it may well indicate that I am a selfish person. Here's what we're doing. We're taking a self test. This is not for somebody else. This is for us personally. Ask yourself that question. Okay, next one. Selfish people don't listen well. They engage in one-sided conversations. Selfish people don't listen well. They engage, what's a one-sided conversation? It's where I have to say, I'm guilty of this. There's something I'm guilty of. It's where I have to say everything, and rather than listen to her while she is talking, I am formulating my counter-argument. Anyone ever been there? So you're not really listening to what she's saying. You're not even really communicating. You're just, I said that. And she's talking. That's all I'm hearing. She's talking, but while she's talking, I'm formulating the next brilliant thing I'm going to say. Pastor, that's the only way I can win the argument. The reality is you're not winning anything. You're not winning anything. Selfish people are not good listeners because they engage in one-sided conversation. They must be heard. And when they cannot be heard at a normal volume, they crank up the volume and turn down their ability to listen even more. And let me give you another one. Selfish people trivialize the problems of others while maximizing their own. Selfish people trivialize the problems of others. Ah, you know, that's no big deal. But boy, they have the slightest ache or pain, and the world must come to a stop to acknowledge it, or they have not been sufficiently served. They trivialize the problems of another person, but maximize their own. Selfish people, and this is an observation I've had over 36 years, I think, of pastoring now. Selfish people are prone to anger. They're prone to anger. It's just, they kind of go hand in hand. Selfishness and anger are two sides really to the same coin. When you find yourself repeatedly fomenting an anger, an anger rising up within you, Could it not be that it happens because your selfishness has been invaded by someone else? Your perfect thought has been debunked? Your comfort zone has been intruded upon? You just wouldn't believe what happened. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Why do you get so worked up about it? Because I have a short fuse. Stop blaming God. God didn't make you with a short fuse and the Holy Spirit of God lives inside you. And if you yield to the Holy Spirit of God, you will not consistently blow up and lose your temper and get angry and say things that you shouldn't say and hurtful things. If you are that way, I'm just, God made me with a temper. He did not. You have a sin problem. You have a sin problem. And if you learn to yield to the spirit of God and recognize that that behavior is sinful, well, I just get so angry, I've got to let it out. Okay, idiot. Tell you what you do. This is Indiana, baby. You gotta let it out, do ya? I gotta let it out. You march your fanny out of the house. and go to a cornfield and walk in the middle of that cornfield and yell as loud as you want. Pastor, I would never do that. I would look foolish. To whom, the corn? I'd rather look foolish to the corn than look foolish to my wife. To my, I would never do such a crazy thing. Yeah, but you will openly act the fool in front of the people who love you the most. That is selfishness. It is selfish to say that I should always be rising up in anger because something didn't meet my standard or something wasn't precisely the way that I wanted it to be. And let me give you one more. Selfish people. are often arrogant. They're arrogant. They feel superior to other people because they have a very high opinion of themselves and typically a very low opinion of others, because they have built a persona in their own mind. In the words of the Apostle Paul, they think more highly of themselves than they ought to think. They have built a persona in their own mind that it's a fortress. It's a mental fortress in their own mind that is absolutely impenetrable. Nobody can get in. There is no chink in the armor because in my own thinking, I am everything I ought to be. And when I take that view of myself, I am selfish. Now, Pastor, why a test like this? Back to the scripture, verse four. Look not every man on his own things, that's selfish, but every man also on the things of others, that's compassion. Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus, who being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God? It wasn't, he is God. But he, Jesus, made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men, and being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross." All right, there's the test. I'm not going to ask you how you scored. You in the Holy Spirit know. But if God's dealing with you to cause you to see that you've been kind of selfish, might be a good idea to make an apology. Might be a good idea to say, hey, Holy Spirit, you can pray to the Holy Spirit. Holy Spirit, help me to curb this in my life. Help me to see it and help me to curb it in my life. Father, I pray you'll take real simple and practical thoughts tonight. and that the Spirit of God will convict us about our undue focus upon ourselves. Father, we're all guilty of this sometimes, but some of us have made a great habit of this, perhaps, and your Spirit can bring conviction and speak to every heart. And I pray, Lord, that you'll deal with us right now about this matter. We'll never be perfect. maybe at this, but Lord, we can sure improve. I can certainly, certainly improve 1,000% in this area, never be where I need to be. And Holy Spirit, we pray that you'll deal with those areas of our lives that will help us to see our need to quit focusing on ourselves, quit defending ourselves, quit only standing up for ourselves, but understand beyond us, there is a world of more than six billion people about whom we could care. Bless this thought, we pray in Jesus' name. Stand with me, please, everyone.