Aren't you glad God loves you? God loved you before you loved Him. And you may be here and say, well, I don't know if God loves me or not. Well, He does. That's what the Word of God says. He loves each and every one. He came and died on the cross for each and every one of us. We're going to have a message today. I'll give you the scripture after a little bit of an introduction. You turn over to your Bibles to 2 Samuel chapter 13 and verse 1. We'll be reading 22 verses there. Quite a bit of reading to do this morning. I won't skip around as much as I sometimes do. But verse 1 of chapter 13 will give you just another minute to get there. I want you to read along with me or follow me as I read in the Word of God. I need to understand this story. We're going to go really in depth about the scripture, about what's going on in the scripture today. I think we need to understand that to understand what God is trying to tell us. So the Bible begins in verse 1, and it came to pass after this. Now, I believe it's very important to read through the Word of God, but if you're going to study the Word of God, when you come to a chapter that starts like this, and it came to pass after this. Before you read that chapter, you got to make sure you know what this is. Or you're not going to get the meaning of that chapter if you don't know what the chapters before that are. Now, there's a few things that happened right before this, but the main two things is the sin of David and his repentance. And that has to deal, this chapter has to deal with the results or the consequences of David's sin. And it came to pass after this that Absalom, the son of David, had a fair sister whose name was Tamar. And Amnon, the son of David, loved her. Now you have to understand the family structure of that day. We would say, if that happened today, we would say, oh that's just awful, that's terrible, that's terrible. But that's not the case in that day. Absalom and Tamar are full sister and brother. And Amnon is their half-brother. And we do know in the Word of God back then, people did marry their half-sister and brother. And this is so because David had eight wives. So he had problems, right? He had eight wives. You got multiple problems. And Amnon was so vexed that he fell sick for his sister Tamar for she was a virgin and Amnon thought it hard for him to do anything to her. Notice that the Bible did not say with her but to her. He thought it hard Because if you study a little bit about, again, the family structure, the young men of the king, young sons of the king had their own homes, but the daughters lived with their mother. And different reasons that it would have been hard for him to do anything to her. Amnon had let his sinful desire for Tamar to make him sick. And that's the case when you obsess over something. He was obsessed with Tamar. He was about to explode with lust but could not figure out how to fulfill his lust. He was constantly thinking about Tamar. And verse 3, but Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab. the son of Shimea, David's brother, and Jonadab was a very subtle man. Now you won't get this story at all if you don't know what subtle means. You won't understand it. I'll say this right away, that is not a compliment. Okay? So let's see how subtle is used elsewhere in the Bible. I believe this is right. It's two other times in the Bible. I may have missed one. Genesis 3.1, now the serpent was more subtle. So we know it's not a compliment, right? Because it's comparing him to the serpent. More subtle than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said unto the woman, yea, hath God said, ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden. So we know that story, I hope you do. We're just using that word. In other words, the serpent, Satan, tricked Eve, right? But it's more specific in Jonadab's case, Proverbs 7 and 10. And behold, there met him a woman with the attire of an harlot and subtle of heart. He goeth after her straightway, as an ox goeth to the slaughter, or as a fool to the correction of the stocks. till a dart strike him through his liver, and as a bird hasteth to the snare, and knoweth not that it is for his life." Don't listen to a subtle person. I'll give you a definition of subtle. First of all, no one ever said, they're so subtle, you'd never realize they're such a good person. No, that's not what subtle means. Subtle means to act in an insidious way. Now if you're like me, I looked this word up, and I knew less when I read that verse, that meaning, than I did before. So I had to look up insidious. More dangerous than meets the eye. Jonadab was more dangerous than met the eye. Amnon's mind, full of lust, was the bomb, and Jonadab was the match to light the bomb. A study of the chapter will reveal, and we'll get into some of this, that Jonadab is obsessed with controlling people. That's what a subtle person wants to do. He wants to come up with, he has ideas, he has words, he has thoughts, he has desires to trick you. And if they're subtle, that means they're good at it. So you've got to keep your eye open, you've got to keep your ears open. And so Jonadab said to him, and he said unto him, why art thou, being the king's son, lean from day to day? Remember, he said he had made himself sick. Wilt thou not tell me? And Amnon said unto him, I love Tamar, my brother, Absalom's sister. And Jonadab said unto him, Lay thee down on thy bed, and make thyself sick. And when thy father come to see thee, say unto him, I pray thee, let my sister Tamar come, and give me meat." Now, for context of this story, it helps a little bit. Meat does not mean meat here. Until around 1900, meat meant any kind of food. If my grandfather As a little boy had asked his mama for meat, he might have got a biscuit and got exactly what he asked for. So any kind of food, usually here, usually in the Bible, it means bread. Not necessarily the flesh of an animal. And dress the meat in my sight, that I may see it, and eat it at her hand. Now like Satan, John would have first asked a question that he already knew the answer to. What's the matter, buddy? What's wrong with you? He knew what was wrong with him. He was his friend. He was around him all the time. He knew that. You ever had a friend that started liking a girl or a lady? You ever had a friend that started liking a guy? You knew it. You knew it. He was around him all the time. You may have even said, I know you like him. No, I don't. It happens all the time. He knew what was wrong with Amnon. She said, you're going around it all wrong. You can't get to her, but you can get her to you. Right? Let me tell you how to do it. So Amnon lay down and made himself sick. And when the king was come to see him, Amnon said unto the king, I pray thee, let Tamar, my sister, come and make me a couple of cakes in my sight, that I may eat at her hand. Then David sent home to Tamar, saying, Go now to thy brother's Amnon house and dress him meet. So Tamar went to her brother Amnon's house and he was laid down and she took flour and kneaded it and made cakes in his side and did bake the cakes. And she took a pan and poured them out before him but he refused to eat. And Amnon said have all men from me. And they went out every man from him. And Amnon said unto Tamar bring the meat into the chamber that I may eat of thine hand. And Tamar took the cakes which she had made and brought them into the chamber to Amnon her brother. And when she had brought them unto him to eat, he took hold of her and said unto her, Come lie with me, my sister. And she answered him, Nay, my brother, do not force me, for no such thing ought to be done in Israel. Do not thou this folly. And I wither. And I, whither shall I cause my shame to go? And as for thee, thou shalt be as one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, I pray thee, speak unto the king, for he will not withhold me from thee. He could have married Tamar, but that ain't what he wanted. Now Amnon and Tamar both had training. They were the king's children. They were the children of the king. They had training. They had proper training. They were Jews. They had biblical training. They had training on how to act and how to respect people. But have you ever seen two siblings raised the exact same way and one go astray? Of course you have. You wonder why? Chances are they had a friend. Verse 14, Howbeit he would not hearken to her voice, but being stronger than she, forced her and lay with her. Then Amnon hated her exceedingly, so that the hatred wherewith he hated her was greater than the love wherewith he had loved her. And Amnon said unto her, Arise, be gone. You've heard it said before, there's a thin line between love and hate. There is a thinner line between lust and hate. Take lust, add perversion and abuse, and you get hate on both sides. And she said unto him, There is no cause. This evil in sending me away is greater than the other that thou didst unto me. But he would not hearken unto her. Now after he had done this, she was still willing to marry him. That's not what he wanted. Then he called his servant that ministered unto him, and said, Put now this woman out from me, and bolt the door after her. And she had a garment of divers colors upon her, for with such robes were the king's daughters, that were virgins, appareled. Have you ever heard the clothes make the man? The clothes make the woman too. Then his servant brought her out, and bolted the door after her. And Tamar put ashes on her head and rent her garment of divers colors that was on her and laid her hand on her head and went on crying. The clothes make the woman. Verse 20, and Absalom her brother said to her, hath Amnon thy brother been with thee? But hold now thy peace, my sister, he is thy brother, regard not this thing. So Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom's house forever until she died. To understand what is really going on here, you have to ask yourself, how did Absalom know what Amnon did? It seems he had a friend. But when King David heard all these things, he was very wroth. Now Absalom didn't tell what Tamar What happened about Tamar? We find out later that Absalom was planning his own revenge. He wouldn't have told David, right? He was keeping quiet. He told Tamar, be quiet. Amnon was gifted. He wasn't going to say anything about it. Guess who else had a friend? Verse 22, And Absalom spake unto his brother Amnon neither good nor bad. For Absalom hated Amnon, because he had forced his sister Tamar. So here we have what in the literary world would be called a tragedy. It'd be the greatest literary tragedy ever written. But the greater tragedy is it's a true story. This tragedy affected every Israelite after them. And therefore, it also affected the Gentile world. Today, people follow Amnon's example of following a bad friend and have their own micro-tragedies. God preserved this story in the Word of God so that we could prevent that, so that we would not do that. If this was a soap opera, it would be season 2 of All David's Children. Season 1 began with 2 Samuel 11 and 1. At the time when the kings go forth to battle, David tarried still at Jerusalem. Verse 2, And it came to pass in the evening time that David arose from off his bed, and walked upon the roof of the king's house. And from the roof he saw a woman washing herself, and the woman was very beautiful to look upon. And season 1 ended with 2 Samuel 12. Now therefore the sword shall never depart from thine house because thou hast despised me and has taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be thy wife." He also had Uriah murdered. I don't claim to be the originator of this title. There have been many men who have preached this message. But since this title is the scripture itself, it's but Amnon had a friend. So we need to be careful who our friends are. Now, when we say that, we usually think about children. Same thing for adults. As long as you're living, you need to be careful who your friends are. Number one, the control your friend holds. You say, don't control me. Yeah, they do. If you bought a bag of apples and you brought in the house and you opened the bag up and you seen down in there a rotten apple, this is what you would do, right? I'm going to leave that apple there and the rest of those apples are going to make that one better. No. Once you saw it, you would take the apples out and throw the bad one away, right? Because what's going to happen? The rotten apple will rot the other apples. Same thing goes with rottenness in people. You hang around rottenness, you become rotten. Amos 3 and 3, can two walk together except they be agreed? Proverbs 13 20, he that walketh with wise men shall be wise, but a companion of fools shall be destroyed. Now you say walking with somebody, you may not agree with them when you start walking, but you walk beside them long enough you're going to start walking like they walk. You're going to start doing the things, saying the things, hearing the things, going to places that they do. You can walk in front of them, but you can't walk beside them. I'm not saying don't have anything to do with lost people. I'm not saying don't have anything to do with somebody you might know has some bad habits, but don't walk beside them. You walk in front of them and lead them. Who are you walking with? That's a question to you, not to answer. It's rhetorical. Who are you walking with? Ask the addict, the drunk, the profaner. How did you get started? I had a friend. Right? That's this. Again, rhetorical. How did you start your bad habit? I promise you, you had a friend. That's where it started. That's where it started. Maybe a relative like Amnon. Maybe a cousin. Maybe an uncle. Maybe an aunt. Maybe a dad. Maybe a mom. Maybe a brother. Maybe a sister. Maybe somebody you met at school. Maybe somebody you met on the road. You had a friend. Listen, Amnon became subtle. He became shady, sneaky, and more perverted because he had a friend. I'm not saying that Abner was perfect. He wasn't perfect. He obviously had sin in his heart and in his mind himself. But he had a friend to light that fire. We all have sin in us. So we need friends to show us the right way to go. Anybody can follow somebody going the wrong way. Show me your friends and I'll show you your spiritual direction. You see, if you've ever pastored a church, you know this especially well. There's things that our pastor knows about us that we don't know he knows about us. And he's not going to tell us he knows about us because he's praying for us. He knows we all have problems. He has his problems. We have our problems. But when there's a certain... Sometimes when people are really getting out there and then they gather in somebody and they become friends with them, they're concerned about that one that they've gathered in. And I'm not talking about just Currytown. I'm talking about any church. I'm not talking about just Baptist. Anywhere. Any group of people. When they have a leader and they say, if you was working in a corporation and you was the VP or the president or the manager and you had a sorry worker and suddenly, although that worker, another worker has been there 20 years and you see that worker start hanging around that sorry worker, you're going to be concerned. Because you know which way it's going. Show me your friends and I'll show you your spiritual direction. Ask yourself this, how does your friend treat the church? How does your friend treat other church members? Don't lose your joy because of criticizing church members. You don't want to hear it. And I know some of you, I know all of you I guess, but I know some of you had occasion where you've had to tell people, I don't want to hear it. See, me and Pastor don't have a problem. We don't hear it. Don't come to us. But they will come to you. I know a woman one time that the church that I was at at the time, now we give our pastor a car allowance. They actually bought a car for the pastor. Well, car had a lot of miles on it. Come time to get him another car. And now she was fine with that. Got him another car. But when the first car went to his wife, she left the church. Whose car was it? The pastor's, right? And her and his wife, right? I know I say I drive my truck, she drives her car, but they're both ours. But she didn't like that. She thought, we shouldn't be paying for her car. They didn't pay for her car. But guess what? She left and she had friends. What do you think they did? They left. Don't listen to junk. There are people that would still be members here today, but they had a friend. Next Sunday, if every member that was ever a member of Currytown Baptist Church since we come into this new building was here, next Sunday, and all of y'all were here, and all those faithful members now are here, standing room only. I'm talking aisles, walls, they'd be up here. I'm not exaggerating, that's a fact. but they're not here because they had a friend. Number two, the conversion by your friend. Your friends control who you become. And again, we talk about this as children, you know, watch who you choose as friend, watch who you talk to. That's a bad kid, don't get around him, don't do this, watch that one. And we should do that as parents. We should. So we'll go. Young adult or I'll just say unmarried Christian females should not enter into relationships with unmarried males that are lost. Vice versa. Shouldn't do it. Just don't do it. You should know that they have a testimony of being saved and faithful to a Bible-preaching local church. Or you're in trouble. You're going to have troubles if you don't do that. Not, I think they're saved. That's good, but not for somebody in a relationship with. Well, they go to church. Not even they go to a good independent fundamental Bible-believing preaching Baptist church. That don't mean nothing. Every relationship is a potential marriage. Now I'm going to answer the question that just came up in your mind. Yes, it is. Alright, now this time I will ask for some participation. Parents, raise your hand if you have unmarried children living in your home or plan to have children living in your home that's unmarried. Matt, I know it's new with you, but you got one, right? I got a little phrase you need to learn. If they don't make a good spouse, don't let them in the house. Right? But if you're going to force this, you have to be a faithful godly spouse. Don't lay out of church, don't treat your wife or husband bad, and then tell your daughter or son to choose a good spouse. They ain't going to listen. You can forget it. As a matter of fact, you might make them do just the opposite. You say, but I haven't been. But you can start today. Don't let your sons and daughters hang out with bad friends. Not your house, not anywhere. I don't want to be a helicopter mom. I want them to choose their own friends. You better be a drone mom. You got drones right now. You can't see a lot from a helicopter but you can see a whole lot from a drone. You can see everything from a drone. Adults and young people don't choose a friend that makes your morals bend. That don't take too long. You meet somebody, you're around two or three times, and if you hang around them, you're going to have to either go with them or bend the wrong way. Right? What you want is somebody, then when you set your moral compass, and it's probably a little bit off from north, but when you follow them, you start going back toward north. Many young men and women have met their demise because, anybody want to guess why? They had a friend. Your council of friends, everyone has a council. Your child's council of friends has influence on them. All right. Why did Israel, Israel used to be 12 tribes, right? Right? Why did Israel split into Judah and Israel? Because Roboam had a council of friends. And the elders gave him good advice. His father's friends gave him good advice. But his buddies said, no, you don't want to do that. Right? And split the kingdom. Someone says to you, can Johnny come over and play? Don't say yes because you want Johnny to have fun. Don't say yes because you want to be Johnny's buddy. Don't say yes because you just want Johnny to be happy. Don't say yes because you want to get Johnny out of your hair for a little while. You're supposed to protect Johnny. Alright? That's your job. He's your child. That's your job. That is your job. That is your and your spouse's job. You say, well, I'm doing it by myself. It's your job. Beware of older friends. I'm just going to throw this number out there, and I'm going to say the number until I get a hand raised, OK? Anybody in here have a 12-year-old child? Right here, very good. All right. You know how old Lexie needs to be? 12. You know how old she's going to act if you let her start hanging around 16 year olds? 16, 17, 18. That's just if she hangs around good 16 year olds. Watch older cousins. But it's their cousin. I think if they's three or four, you got two or three siblings. You probably got some nieces and nephews. Probably. I'm not saying everybody. Probably got some nieces and nephews. You shouldn't let your kids hang around. You say it, but it's their cousin. But it's your child. Your sister and your brother are not responsible for raising your child. You are. The consequences of your friend. Now, Hamden thought it was wrong. Right? He said it was hard. He knew it was wrong. He knew it was perverse. He knew it was simple. That's the reason. All those things are the reason it was hard to do. But he had a friend. Abednon had a reputation. He was the king's son. The king's son. And we're talking about King David. One of the greatest... King David and King Solomon, the two greatest kings that ever lived. And he was David's son. Of course, Solomon wasn't king yet, but he was Solomon's brother. He had a reputation. But he had a friend. Choose a bad friend, lose a good reputation. Proverbs 21. A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches and loving favor rather than silver and gold. Again, Amnon was the son of King Date. He had training, but he had a friend. Tamor never married or had children because Amnon had a friend. Amnon is murdered by his brother Absalom because he had a friend. Absalom is murdered by his cousin, studied out, killed by his cousin because Amnon had a friend and because he had a friend. All this happened because Amnon had a friend. Who are your friends? Do they bring you closer to the Lord? Do they? There will be all kinds of checkpoints in our lives. And we don't ever look at most of them. But you ought to check up on your friends once in a while. You may have chosen a good friend that went bad. That's very likely you might follow them. But when they go bad, Your compass, that needle, you want that needle going north, right? You say, well, none of my friends do. Get some more friends. All right? Let me tell you about my best friend. My best friend's name is Robert Shuler. Other than my wife, my best friend's Robert Shuler. Now his godly influence along with my wife's is the reason I'm in church today. God could have sent other people in my life but that's who he sent. Without their influence I probably would not know to seek godly relationships. You are who you are today largely because of the friends you have chosen. I've had friends in the past I had to let go. You are the Christian today largely because of the friends you have chosen. You may need to let some friends go. Do a checkup. But now let me tell you about my closest friend. They beat him. They spit on him. They crowned him with thorns. And he thought of me and said, I'm doing this because I want to be your friend. He carried the cross to Calvary. He saw me and said, I want to be your friend. They drove spikes through His hands and feet. But He felt my sin more than the spikes and said, I'm doing this because I want to be your friend. As He hung on the cross, He took on the sin of the world but singled out my sin and said, I'm doing this because I want to be your friend. I'm nothing on my own. We're nothing on our own. But I am what I am because I have a friend. Do you have such a friend? Jesus wants to be your closest friend. Now you may be here saved today and there may be something in the message that you heard. You say, well, you know, that's right, I need to do that. But you may be here and you're not saved. You've never received Christ as your Savior. And those things that I was saying about me are true. When He was on the cross, He was saying about me. But He was saying about you too. And He did it. The Bible says, For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son. And He gave His Son and His Son gave His life that we may have life. And He wants to be your friend. He wants to be your friend. He died for you. You say, who are you talking to now? I'm talking about everybody. He died for the whole world. I have talked to people that think they have done something in their life or there is something about them so bad that God wouldn't save them. No such person exists. God will save you if you ask him to forgive you of your sin. He will do it. He said he would and he will. We stand to our feet. Susan comes to play. Somebody comes to play. Now, if you're here, you probably have some friends. You have to ask yourselves, if you're a Christian, do my friends bring me closer to Christ? Now, I can't tell you to cut that friend off, but I can tell you this. If they're not bringing you closer to Christ, if they're taking you the other way, don't walk beside them. You can try to lead him for a while, but there may come a point in time where he has to say, all I can do is pray for him. I have to leave him alone. Now, the younger you are here today, the more times you're going to have to make a choice. Do I need this person as a friend? Some of you here today may make that choice hundreds of times throughout your life. Some of you already have made that choice hundreds of times in your life. We have to ask ourselves, are they bringing us closer to Christ? You may be here today, you say, I got friends, but I don't know Jesus as my friend. He wants to be your friend today. If I could have every head bowed and every eye closed, please, I'd like to ask a question. Do you know Jesus as your friend? Have you received Him as Savior? Has there been a time in your life that you know that He's your Savior? If you don't know, if you don't know that when you close your eyes on earth, when you breathe your last breath in the body that you're in, If you don't know that you're going to heaven, would you raise your hand? I'd like to pray for you. Anyone at all? The fact that you're here shows some interest in knowing that you're going to heaven one day. And you need to know that. Would there be one that would raise their hand and say, Preacher, I've never known Christ as my Savior. I do not know that I'd go to heaven if I died today. Lord, we thank you for this day that you've given us. We thank you, Lord, for all your many blessings. Thank you for those that come to the altar. Lord, we thank you for the Word of God. Lord, you give us instructions on our life. And Lord, when we mess up in our life and go the wrong way in our life, Lord, it's always because we did not follow the rule book, we did not follow the Bible, we did not follow your Word. And Lord, we study your Word and we follow your Word, Lord, we'll go the right way. Lord, I pray for that one that may be here lost with this number here. Lord, it's almost inconceivable that there's not one here lost. Lord, I don't know who it is. Lord, I pray for them. And Lord, I pray for your children today. Maybe there's a friend in their life that's pulling them the wrong way, showing them the wrong direction. Lord, whispering things in their ears they don't need to hear. Lord, I pray, Lord, that you would guide them, give us all wisdom, Lord, that we may not follow someone like that. And then, Lord, if that friend is a Christian also, Lord, I pray, Lord, that they would turn back to you, Lord, and they could become a good friend, Lord. Lord, I pray that you help us all. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.