Is that fair? The English name Thomas comes from the Hebrew word teom, meaning, anybody know? Hopeless. Hopeless. After the last time we did Matthew, caught you all on a back foot and now you haven't even bothered to look up Thomas and what it really means. It means twin. Who said that? Well, I would expect it from an elder. It means twin. And the Arabic word didymus also means twin. Thomas the twin. And there's no mention of Thomas's twin brother anywhere, only to say that he may have had one. We first read of Thomas in John chapter 11. If you'd like to just turn to that, please. John chapter 11. Of course, the big story here is the death of Jesus. Sorry, not the death of Jesus in chapter 11. That wouldn't be right. But the death of Lazarus, Jesus' friend. Jesus had a close relationship with Lazarus and his two sisters, Mary and Martha. Jesus had been informed that Lazarus had become ill and he was going back to restore him. But the disciples didn't want to go back to Judea because they thought that whilst he was resting, he would recover. In verse 12, you have it. Lord, if he sleeps, he will get well. But the real reason they didn't want to go back to Judea is in verse eight. Rabbi, lately, the Jews sought to stone you. And you are going there again. They were afraid. They wanted to stone you last time, Jesus. Last time you were there, they were ready. If you go back, it's highly likely that you'll be stoned, and probably us as well. So Jesus then makes it very clear that Lazarus was dead. And Jesus is glad that he wasn't there, so that they might believe, verse 15. They were afraid, but look at verse 16. So Thomas, called the twin, said to his fellow disciples, let us also go that we might die with him. There's a bravery here that none of the other disciples had. or showed anyway. And though it's brave, it's pretty pessimistic really. A pretty pessimistic stand to take. Let's all go that we might die with him. Talk about negative. What a bundle of laughs he must have been as a disciple. Pessimistic people can be a pain, can't they? The dour one, always on the downer. They'll always find a reason not to. Struggle to find the good or the joy. The worrier, the complainer, the defeatist, the killjoy. And Thomas wades in, we're all gonna die. Reminds me of the Dad's Army guy, doesn't it? Was it Fraser? We're doomed. We're all doomed. Not much fun at a party, the pessimist. Could be fair to say that Thomas, a negative type person, perhaps, on the dour side, Not particularly an optimist. Pessimistic Thomas rather than doubting Thomas. That will be a more accurate description. But let's see how his character unfolds from the scriptures. I suppose the best spin that we could say of a pessimist is that at least they've thought it through. At least they've thought about it. They're not going gung-ho. But that's not all we have in Thomas. There's a real deep love for Jesus here. And it's that love for him that fortifies his courage and the courage of the rest of the disciples because they all went. So what an influence. He wasn't afraid of anyone or of anything. He wasn't afraid of being stoned even to death, so long as it meant being with Jesus. So long as he was with Jesus, it didn't matter what came his way. He was even prepared to die with him. Being with Jesus Following Jesus, standing with Jesus often means real bravery. Undaunted courage, he was prepared to follow Christ and die rather than forsake him. Rather than let him go, Hope to see you again, Jesus. How many of us are prepared to stay? How many of us would say, so long, Jesus? I'll let you go alone on that one. I'll be in touch when the heat is off. To stand like Thomas against all the odds takes courage. That's love. That we might die with him. Profound love right there. He's thought it through and he's prepared to die with him. Give me some of that. In chapter 14, John speaks of Thomas again, if you turn to John chapter 14. Of course, completely different setting now. Jesus has finished his public ministry. That's all over. It's now his private ministry with his disciples. and it's Thursday night. It's Jesus' final hours, the night before his death. Jesus was telling his disciples that he was leaving them. He says, I go to prepare a place for you, and if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to myself, that where I am, there you may be also. You know where I am going, and you know the way. And in verse five, Thomas speaks up. Thomas speaks up and he says, Lord, we don't know where you're going and how can we know the way? Pessimism strikes again. You can see it in him, but it's not pessimism alone. This is a broken heart speaking. The thought of Christ leaving was distressing him. He was brokenhearted. He couldn't bear to see his life without Christ. Only a few days earlier, he was prepared to even die with him. We'll never find you, Lord. How can we know the way when we don't know where you're going? There's a terrible unease in Thomas now. He didn't want Christ to leave. He couldn't figure it out. The unsettlement of the upper room conversations, the unsettling of Judas walking out. the murmurings of what Jesus meant when the Son of Man must be betrayed at the hands of sinners. What did all this mean? And now Thomas could hear from his own ears, from the lips of Jesus, his own statement, I'm going. He couldn't process anything else. This was pessimism. But it was overwhelming love. And Jesus gently seeks to reassure him. I'm the way, Thomas. I'm the way. I'm the truth. And I'm the life. But Thomas's worst nightmare came true, didn't it? Jesus did go. He died. and in the most inhumane and brutal way possible, cruelly beaten, mocked, scourged to an inch of his life and nailed to a cross like a piece of flayed meat fit for nothing but the dogs to eat. When you see that happen to a loved one, that does something to your mind. Surely. There's real trauma there. How do you really get your head around that? Well, we pick up the next picture of Thomas in John 20. If you turn to John 20. After Jesus had risen from the dead, I think we underestimate the psychological trauma, don't we? Of what the disciples went through, having seen Jesus torn apart and nailed to a cross. The trauma for all of them. after Jesus had risen from the dead, there had been appearances of Jesus to ones and twos of believers. Were they rumors? Were they mystical appearances? Were they visions, dreams, hallucinations? But then something absolutely profound and compelling happened. Verse 19 of John 20, then, so the sentence begins, then at that point, the same day, at evening being the first day of the week, important to notice, When the doors were shut, where the disciples were assembled for fear of the Jews, remember their state of mind? They were frightened. They'd seen Jesus like a rag doll nailed in a bloody mess on the cross. And Jesus came and stood in the midst. The first time Jesus appeared to all of them at the same time. Wow. And he said, peace be with you. When he'd said this, he showed them his hands and his sign. And the disciples were glad when they saw the Lord. I'll say they were. Wow. No mistaking it now, they saw him. All at the same time, no hallucination this time. Psychologists will tell you no hallucination appears the same to two separate people at once. All 12 of them, all, well, all 11 of them saw him. Wow. He showed them his hands and his side. This was absolute. This was compelling. This was assuring. It is the Lord. It is him. Wow. The problem was Thomas wasn't there. How different things might have been if Thomas had been there. The phrase doubting Thomas would not have existed. Now Thomas, the twin, wasn't with them when Jesus came, verse 24. The other disciples therefore said to him, we have seen the Lord. Thomas said, unless I see his hands and the prints of the nails and put my finger into the print of the nails and put my hand into his side, I will not believe. But we've seen him. We've seen him, Thomas, with our own eyes. It was spellbounding. We couldn't believe our eyes or our ears when we heard him speak. He spoke with us, utterly convincing, absolutely true, non-negotiable. It was him, risen from the dead. He even showed his hands and he sighed. He's alive, brother. He's alive. He's risen just as he said he would. Well, I need to see his hands and his feet too, his side too. In fact, I want to put my fingers in those nail prints and his side. And unless that happens, I can't get it. Because this has utterly broken me. You saw it. He was dead and I loved him. My world is shattered. How can I go where he is now? It's impossible. What's the obstacle for Thomas? What's the obstacle? His obstacle is grief. It's grief. It's a blinder. There's nothing Thomas wants more than to be with Jesus. Nothing. This is not dismissive unbelief, a pouting jealousy at being absent, a careless doubt. This is a broken, shattered heart and mind in pieces. that's been crippled by grief. He needs helping, not judging. He needs restoring, not crushing. He needs patience, not impatience. He needs bearing with, not annoyance at. It's strange what real grief does. There are no words to describe it. It takes you firmly by the hand, and it leads you to some very dark places. And despair plays its part. It changes your whole existence experience. And there's a new reality, and it's not a pleasant one. And sometimes years of adjustment have to be made. And sometimes there's not enough time for some to make all those adjustments. Our late queen, having lost her husband Philip, said, grief is the price we pay for love. And that's not a throwaway comment. Talking to Angela, having suffered the same experience, I wanted to add one word to that. The word great. Great grief is the price we pay for great love. We don't know why Thomas wasn't with the disciples, with Jesus, when Jesus appeared to them. Maybe if we were given that information as to why he wasn't there, we could make a judgment. The Holy Spirit would have revealed that to us if it was something for us to judge. But he didn't. We don't know. It's just left blank. The best we can learn from Thomas here is if we really love Jesus, if we can be, don't be absent. Don't be absent. If we really love Jesus, don't be absent. You'll miss the blessing of his presence. You don't get that. on sermon audio, you just don't. And if we're really honest, how different are we to Thomas, really? How many times do we need reassurance in our Christian walk? How many times do we fail to get it, to get the message? because of some reason or for some reason we've been on the outside. I don't want to stand and criticise this man and his trauma. It's not as if it was some incidental comment anyway. A dead man has come back to life. This was You're not exactly asking some small thing of a guy, really. Would we be any different? Are we any different? In fact, all the disciples were of the same ilk, till they saw Jesus. And Luke tells us in Luke 24 that whilst they were discussing the very matter of the three days after the crucifixion, he would rise, they were all talking about this, all the disciples, all talking about it, wondering what it could mean. Jesus stood in the very midst of them all and said, peace to you. But Luke tells us, They were terrified and thought they'd seen a ghost. They were terrified and thought they'd seen a ghost, even though they were chatting about this third day rise. They were struck on. They were just like Thomas. They couldn't get it. They were scared witless. The annuals of history have laid a heavy label on the character of Thomas, haven't they? I'm not sure it's a fair one. But look how gentle Jesus deals with this broken disciple. Verse 26, eight days after his disciples Sorry, eight days later, his disciples were inside again, and this time, Thomas was with them. Although the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, peace be to you. Verse 27, then he said to Thomas, he gently singles him out, Put your finger here and see my hands. And put out your hand and place it in my sight. Do not disbelieve, but believe. Don't disbelieve your brothers. Don't disbelieve what they're saying. Believe them. It's me. risen from the dead. Non-judgmental, not harsh, but lovingly meeting Thomas just where he is. And Jesus always does that. He always does that. No one needed to tell Jesus what Thomas had said, Jesus knew. Nobody went up to Jesus whispering, hey, Thomas just wants to put his fingers in your hands. Nobody said it, but Jesus knew exactly. And so he says, put your fingers here and your hand in my side. Jesus knows exactly what we need. And he knows what we don't need. Although Thomas wanted to physically put his fingers in the nail prints and his fist in his side, all he actually really needed was to see Jesus. That's all he needed. And everything else disappeared. Just disappeared. No inspection needed. There's a difference between doubting what he could have seen as grief, hysteria from his friends and his brothers, not to mention his own emotional state. And the doubting that Jesus is the son of God. The doubting of God's existence or the doubting that Jesus could be risen from the dead. That kind of doubting is sinful, actually in James. Speaks of that, doesn't he, in James 1, when he says, being like a wave, driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose he will receive anything of the Lord. He is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways. James is speaking of double-minded, meaning two souls. One for earth, and one for heaven. Trying to secure both worlds. Having two hearts, that's messy. That's messy. On any level, that is disastrous for the soul. That's not Thomas. It's not that kind of doubt. It could certainly have led to that kind of doubt, but that's not where he was. But it could have led to it, especially if he'd wallowed in it. And that's the temptation, isn't it? When we're in a despair, to start wallowing in it and start raking it up and not looking to the truth and not actually seeing Jesus. You know, in over 40 years of being a Christian, I'd never fully realized this about the resurrection of Christ. Not that I didn't believe it or disbelieve, I'd never really had cause to think about it before. But there's not one record of Jesus' appearing to an unbeliever. Not one. I'd not clocked that before. I thought, well, you know, what about the 500 that Jesus appeared to? You know, in 1 Corinthians 15, he was seen by over 500. I thought, well, sure. But read the text. 1 Corinthians 15, he was seen by over 500 brethren at once. Wow, not one appearing to an unbeliever. He only ever appears to believers. Jesus doesn't reveal himself to produce new faith. He reveals himself to validate faith that is already there. Thomas wasn't an unbeliever because Jesus appeared to him. When all the other disciples were salted, Jesus knows how to deal with the one on the outside and bring him in. The hurting one, the bruised one, the broken one. He knows a bruised reed he will not break and a faintly burning wick he will not quench. He understands you, us, me. He understands. He can heal the broken hearted. He's good at it. The disciples already had the privilege of Jesus showing them his hands and his side a week ago. How would they have been without that? They were already convinced Thomas hadn't had it With love so profound, and grief so ragged, hearsay just wouldn't cut it. In this little flock, he was one on the outside, in deep, overwhelming sorrow. And Jesus meets him. right where he is. What a condescension. When Revelation, the book of Revelation, fresh in our minds, speaks of the names of the apostles of the Lamb being etched on the 12 foundations of the new Jerusalem, I doubt very much whether we'll see doubting next to Thomas. It won't be there. The love of this disciple for Jesus is drastically underrated. And you could put it next to John. All this had led to something. All of this, all of this heartbreak, all of this sorrow, all of this grieving, wrenching heart, All this pain and anguish and broken-hearted confusion of emotions had led to something. Something about Jesus he hadn't seen before. And probably something none of the other disciples had seen either. He saw something that caused him to make the most glorious confession any of the disciples ever made. And Aubrey reminded us of that, didn't he? At our anniversary weekend. Verse 28, John 20, Thomas answered him, my Lord and my God, If ever there was a statement of a disciple that could silence the JW, that's it. My Lord and my God, it's unequivocal. Kyrgios and my Theos. Kurios has a couple of meanings to that. Supreme one. Possessor and disposer. The title given to God, Messiah. But it can also mean Lord, as in Lord of the manor, respect for sir or master. The word kurios is translated in the New Testament 747 times. 44 of those times, the word Lord is referred to as Sir, or Lord of the manna type, Master. 703 of those refer to Supreme Lord Messiah. Theos, meaning the holy and the true God, divine deity, no other, God only. And that appears over 1,300 times in the New Testament. Thomas used both. You are the very same person. My supreme Lord, Master, Messiah, whom I have followed and served, and you are my God only. My God. Jesus is God. Notice Jesus didn't rebuke him for saying that. As if to say, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't say that. I'm not God. I'm just a man. No honest man would have allowed such an improper language to address him. He received it rightfully. In fact, he commended him, didn't he? For believing this. He commended him. an astonishing, profound and most glorious statement now gone down in the annuals of history for the great confession of the Christian faith. Jesus is God, my Lord and my God. And you know what? He wouldn't have got there but for that grief. He wouldn't have got there but for that grief. My dear friend, Gary Hilton, who actually led me to know the Lord 40-odd years ago, in his terminal pains, by his bedside, he said something very profound to me. He said this, there's purpose in this, Rob. There's purpose in this. And he's right. There's purpose in the pain. We may not always see it. It's a strange paradox, isn't it? That the trials themselves seek to blind us from its purpose. It's hard to see why, Lord, why this hurt. Does it have to be this way, Lord? Another way I could have accepted, but not this way. I honestly can't bear this. However we look at this, Jesus allowed this to happen to Thomas. The Good Shepherd allowed this disturbance, deep waters allowed to go over his soul and over our soul. It's allowed by God. He didn't expect it to be so bad, didn't Thomas? Thinking that maybe Jesus just wouldn't allow such a trauma to happen to him. He'd always sorted everything else out, all through those three years of following him. He'd never missed out on anything. He fed thousands, he stilled a storm. He caused the blind to see, he raised the dead even. Why does it have to hurt me like this? You've sorted everybody else out, Lord, but what about me? What about my circumstance? I don't get it. I can't do it, Lord. If you're a believer, your heart will be vexed and broken sometimes. Trials will come. How should we know who are true Christians if following Christ is free from trouble? Paul says, doesn't he, we must, through many tribulations, enter the kingdom of God. There's purpose in the pain. And Jesus never says anywhere that we'll get to heaven without these, but he did say he'd meet us in them. And that's his promise, a complete capitulation to the magnificence of his presence. Truly God, the Son, And bowing with every fiber of his being, Thomas confessed, my Lord and my God. Negative, melancholy, comfortless, moody tendencies, pessimistic tendencies, but a chosen apostle. A chosen apostle. Changed. Changed. There is considerable evidence to suggest that Thomas took the gospel as far as India. And even some evidence, whether it's true or not, of his grave at Chenia Madras, near the airport. Apparently, The strongest traditions say that Thomas was martyred for his faith by the running through of a spear in his side. A fitting form of martyrdom for one whose faith came to age when he saw the nail prints and the wounded side. for one who longed to be reunited with his Lord. Jesus said to Thomas, you have believed because you have seen me. I think he would have received that in the spirit of gentleness that it was intended. Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed. That puts each one of us in that category. We're blessed. We're blessed. There's something for us here, isn't there? Whilst we're in a state of melancholy, Negative? Wounded? Grieving? Comfortless? Could it be that we're more blessed than Thomas? Because we haven't seen? Jesus, meeting us now here and through his word, in the midst of us all, says that we are more blessed than he. Wow. Let's not walk through those doors forgetting that. We are blessed. May the Lord help us. Let's just pray together. Our Father with our hearts bowed, our heads bowed, We submit everything before you, everything that is happening now, everything that has happened. We confess, Lord, that there is purpose in it. And you have brought us to this hour to see in our mind's eye that Jesus is our Lord and our God. And we pray that the very fragrance of that truth may not leave us, draw us ever closer to you. Change these hearts, Lord, we pray, to hearts of living faith, of joy, of wonder, of hearts that are expectant of a living savior to return. where justice truly will be done. Hear us in these prayers, for we ask them in Jesus' name. Amen.