Now, this is the 10th sermon on the family. Can you believe that? It's been 10 sermons already. And we're, what, three weeks into the, right around the end of the third week of the month, middle of the third week. I don't even know what day it is, where we are and what we're doing. But I'm here, I made it. Shiloh's not happy, but she'll get over it. Proverbs 31, did I say that already? Or are y'all waiting on me? Nobody listens to me anyway, so. Proverbs 31 is where we'll be tonight. And we'll see if we can provide some helpful Bible teaching for the ladies. How about that? We spend a couple of sermons on men, and then we spend a couple of sermons on mental health, essentially. Depression, discouragement, that kind of thing. Anxiety. within the family context. And so tonight, we're gonna talk to the ladies and just look at the model that God provided in his word. When I say model, I don't mean a half-naked woman, you know, prancing down a runway. I mean a role model, somebody you should look up to. Kim Kardashian is not who you should look up to as a young lady. In fact, you should run away from that garbage as fast as you can. That is high class trash, that's all it is. And so, you know, stay away from that garbage. You need a real woman, like we're gonna read about tonight, like my wife. So, that's what women need these days. My wife is a blessing, she's very good to me, and my family, even though she told me the wrong date that the Muscats were leaving. Proverbs 31, let's read verses 10 through 31 quickly to get the context, and then we're just gonna go verse by verse through it as briefly as we can this evening, and just touch on the points. It's pretty self-explanatory. If you wanna know, as a young woman, how should I approach life, these 21 verses are all you need. There's nothing else you need. If you just apply 70, 80% of this, you'd have an excellent life. You apply 100% of this, you'd be an unbelievable woman. And so here it is. Here's your role model. Here are the markers you should shoot for. This is what you should be in life. Verse 10, who can find a virtuous woman where her price is far, far above rubies? Now, are rubies expensive? Absolutely. They were even more likely more expensive in Solomon's day, but the price of a virtuous woman greatly exceeds that. Virtue is unbelievably important. All right, lack of virtue is disgusting, it's trashy, it's ridiculous, it's a joke, it's untrustworthy. It's not somebody you wanna be around or have to deal with. It's a woman who doesn't take care of her children. It's a woman who doesn't take care of her husband, who doesn't take care of her home, who doesn't take care of her family. She's self-centered, she dresses trashy, she exposes herself, she's flirtatious. That's not what we're talking about here. This is a woman that can be trusted. Verse 11, the heart of her husband, listen to this, doth safely trust in her. I am unbelievably thankful. If I did work away from home all day, it would never cross my mind that my wife had somebody at my house, ever. Not because I'm some kind of naive fool, but because I have a trustworthy wife. If you can't trust your wife to go to Walmart without texting somebody, talking to somebody, what in the world, who did you marry and why did you do it? You've got to be trustworthy. And once that trust is lost, you've ruined the relationship. When that trust doesn't exist anymore, it doesn't matter what the relationship is, whether it's mother and father, whether it's husband and wife, whether it's parents and children, when that trust is gone, the relationship is destroyed. You gotta be trustworthy. This man, God said, the heart of her husband doth safely trust in her. What an unbelievable choice of terminology. He can safely, that means that there are men out there who are marrying women that they are putting themselves in danger if they trust that woman. You understand that? That is scary to me. you need to marry somebody that you can safely trust in. If you can't be open and vulnerable with that person, you can't have that level of safety in your trust, you better run away. You better stay away from that person. Have nothing to do with them. The heart of her husband does safely trust in her so that he shall have no need of spoils. She's not gonna do anything wrong. You don't need a prenup. You don't need any of that garbage. You can just trust her. She's not out for your money. She's not self-centered and selfish. Her goal is to improve and help her family. I'm going to try to move on or we're going to be here all night. These are some rich verses. Hard not to stop and preach on them. Verse 12, she would do him good and not evil all the days of her life. Now, doesn't that seem like a reasonable thing? Why'd you get married if your intent is to be evil? If your intent is to use and abuse and be destructive and toxic in that relationship, why'd you get married? You could be, I mean, you could be like the neighborhood stray dog and bounce from man to man and do that all day long all you want. Why marry somebody and trick them into loving you and committing to you only to do him evil all the days of his life? That just doesn't... You gotta be some kind of terrible to do that kind of thing. Verse 13, she seeketh wool and flax and worketh willingly with her hands. Nobody has to make her. Why don't you get up and do something? No, she's busy. She's working. She's laboring. All you do is sit around all day and watch television. All you do is sit around all day and eat and waste your life. That's not a virtuous woman. You gotta get your face out of the television. You gotta get your face out of Facebook. You gotta get your face off the phone, out of the computer, off the television, and go do something productive. All right, now, if all this makes anybody feel uncomfortable, I beat up on the men for two sermons in a row. This is one sermon for the ladies. Amen, all right, glad you're on board. And so, she seeketh wool and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchant's ship, she bringeth her food from afar. She riseth also while it is yet night. Now, how do you rise when it's yet night? You get up early. You don't sleep half the day and waste your life. This modern generation of people, they're so lazy and self-absorbed. It's just so hard for me to get up before 10 a.m. What? What is wrong with you? You have no ambition, no desire to do something, to accomplish something. I don't understand it. You've got to get up. You've got to get busy. You have responsibilities. You have people that depend upon you. Even if you don't, you just have things you need to get up and do. Laying around being lazy is not an option. Not if you want to accomplish something in this world. You've got to get up. Get moving. A lot of the problems people have is because they live sedentary lives. They sit around doing nothing, and then they get to the point that they can't even stand up through a song service, so they can't walk two steps without, I need the A.C., I need to sit down, I need to rest. You've got to keep moving. You've got to work. You've got to get outside and do something. She is like the merchant ships verse 15 She rises also while it is yet night and giveth meat to her household and a person a portion to her maidens so she gets up feeds her family and Feeds the people who are supposed to be helping to serve her She doesn't have servants to wait on her hand and foot. She has servants because she is so busy, so productive, she needs the extra help to continue the venture she has around her home. She's not laid back, you know, in her bed, yelling at the servants to come and serve her. She's serving. She considereth the field and buyeth it. She's got wisdom. She's got understanding. She's got industry. With the fruit of her hands, she planteth a vineyard. She can plant a garden, she plant a vineyard, she can grow stuff, she can produce food, she can buy a field, she can sell a field. She gets up early, she works hard, she works willingly. Nobody has to make her, nobody has to force her, she just does it. That's a virtuous woman. Verse 17, she girdeth her loins with strength and strengtheneth her arms. that was probably done carrying babies while doing everything we just named. That's the most amazing part to me. My wife not only takes care of our home and goes out and plants gardens and takes care of ducks and does all this stuff, but she often does it with a baby on her hip. I hold the baby for five minutes. I'm like, oh, this is killing me. How do you do this? She can hold that baby for hours. and it's like it just doesn't bother her. I don't know how she does that. Verse 18, she perceiveth that her merchandise is good, so she's producing quality stuff, not garbage. Her candle goeth not out by night, so she works late into the night and she gets up early. That's a virtuous woman. That's a good woman. Verse 19, She doesn't look like those people in Walmart that just rolled out of bed and showed up in pajamas. She put clothes on. She goes out into the world in a presentable fashion. Not like she just fell off the top bunk and rolled into the store. Verse 23, "...her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land, she maketh fine linen, and selleth it, and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. Strength and honor are her clothing, and she shall rejoice in time to come. She is willing to sacrifice now for the rejoicing later. She's willing to go through the discomfort now for the blessing later. Too many women are so self-centered and self-absorbed they want you to give them what they want right now and then don't understand why later nobody wants to be around them and wants to have anything to do with them. You ruined every relationship you had in your life and now in your later age you have nothing to rejoice over. Don't do that. Verse 20, 25, strength and honor, she rejoiced. Verse 26, she opened her mouth with wisdom. Wouldn't that be a blessing? You got a lot of women talking today. And not within, not in a godly fashion. Let me be nice and say it that way. This woman opens her mouth with wisdom, but that's not all. Look at that second half of that verse. And in her tongue is the law of kindness. She not only speaks with wisdom, but she is kind and respectful and encouraging. She's not contentious. She's not going around in her house and stirring up trouble. She's kind. She's wise. She's approaching these things with godly wisdom. Verse 27, she looketh well to the ways of her household. You would think that's just a given. Are you a wife? You have children? Why would you not be looking to the good of your household? Instead, they go on Facebook and complain and whine and groan and moan and murmur about every little discomfort and difficulty in their life. You got women going on TikTok and Facebook and whatever other social media means you want to name and tearing their husbands down and talking bad about their children and want you to know what a victim they are. You're not a victim. You chose to be a wife. You chose to be a mother. Now, own up to it. It's an honorable thing to do, to do it well. It's a very dishonorable thing to fail to rise to the occasion. And you don't want to be that type of failure. You want to do right. You want to strengthen a godly home, look for the good of a godly home, and teach your children to love the Lord. That's what you want to do. I presume that's what you want to do. Now, how does all this work out? She looketh well to the ways of her household and eateth not the bread of idleness. She's not lazy. She's not laying around. Somebody bring me something to eat. She is feeding people. She's taking care of people. She's not idle. She's not lazy. She doesn't just sit around all day and then wonder why she's in the situation she's in. She's going to go out and do something about it. That's the mentality you're supposed to have. Verse 28, here's the result. Her children arise up and call her blessed. Her husband also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously. Now, the passage starts, a virtuous woman who can find, and then God says, many daughters have done this. This is not outside your reach. You are not uncapable of doing this. God said many daughters have done virtuously. Many of them. So what is wrong with you? What's your problem? Where is it lacking in your life? I'm not accusing anybody of anything. I'm just saying this is available to all women who will serve the Lord and serve their family and get over themselves and it's desperately needed in the world today. God knows we need fathers who will be fathers, and we need mothers who will stop being self-centered. I need a night out with the ladies, chasing men you should have nothing to do with, sitting around doing nothing, staring at television, playing on Facebook, throw all that garbage out, look at your life, find out what you need to be doing, and do it well. Take care of your family. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain. Now, I believe I have a beautiful wife, and I presume she thinks she has a handsome husband. That's a guess. But how's that gonna turn out? How's that gonna look at 70? Now, when the looks are gone, and all you have left is the authenticity of the relationship because the physical aspect is vanishing. What's left? I do not love my wife because she's a beautiful woman. I love my wife because of the unbelievable effort and dedication she has to our family. That's what matters. All this other stuff, it's fleeting. Favor is deceitful, beauty is vain, but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall." You see that? She shall be praised. If you're a woman that fears the Lord, then what the Lord is getting at here, then you will be a virtuous woman. And if you are a virtuous woman that fears the Lord, your children will praise you, your husband will praise you. And the Lord said, you will be praised. Now, God said he exalts the humble. In order to be this kind of woman, you've got to be humble. You've got to be humble and hardworking, which means people are going to use you. You're going to serve people and seemingly get nothing out of it. except it pleases God and it will strengthen your house. Is that okay? Is that enough reward for you? If it's not, then you need to determine what it is you want in life. because I couldn't imagine two greater outcomes than to spend a lifetime of service to your husband and your children, all in the context of serving God, and at the end of your life, you're lifted up and held up as a godly woman who was faithful and dedicated to her family and gave her all to her husband and her children. What a great way to go out. Verse 31, give her of the fruit of her hands and let her own works praise her in the gates. How would that go for you today? If you went into town today and people that knew you said, so what'd you do this week for your family? What would the praise be? What would there be for people to say, man, I can't believe you went that far and did that much and gave your all in that way for your family? Something to think about. All right, that was the introduction. We'll go through this quickly. I didn't mean to take that longer, preach on every verse, but it's hard not to. It's a great passage. Now, a quick introduction after the introduction. This chapter concludes Solomon's Proverbs with a remarkable portrait of godly womanhood. This is what you should strive to be. I don't care where you are in life. If you're not this, drop what you're doing and flee to this. Run to this. Do this. And it'll change everything. It'll be wonderful. She serves both inspiration and instruction for Christian families. So this is for ladies who want to serve God and want to live for the Lord. This is not for loud, obnoxious, contentious women who think that they know it all and could care less what God or their pastor has to say. They have their own input. This is not for you. I don't even know why you'd want to be here if you were that kind of woman. You will not be comfortable here if you're that type of woman. Now, the more godly you are, the more you love the Lord, this won't bother you at all. In fact, this will be encouraging and motivating to you. The more comfortable you are with this world and the less close you are with the Lord, this is going to be offensive to you. It's just how it is. Nothing I can do about that. Rather than overwhelming complexity, the passage presents a clear model of biblical femininity centered on the fear of the Lord. Praise the Lord. You want to be a feminist? There you go. Be a godly woman that serves the Lord. Best way you can do it. Proverbs 31 verse 1 introduces us to the words of King Lemuel, the prophecy that his mother taught him. Most interpreters suggest that Lemuel may be Solomon himself. as the name signifies one devoted to God, which aligns with Solomon's given name, Jedidiah. All right, so Solomon was called, his mother and father called him Solomon, but was it Nathan, the prophet Nathan who called him, it's in 2 Samuel 12, 24 through 25, you can go read it there, we don't have time tonight, but I believe it was the prophet Nathan or one of the prophets at that time called him Jedidiah, meaning beloved of the Lord. Now, whether Lemuel was Solomon or another prince, the passage doesn't say. It just says Lemuel. For me, when I'm studying the Bible and these ideas come up in commentaries, I don't mind noting that they believe it's possible they're the same person, but unless the text tells me it's the same person, I'm not likely going with it. So I think Lemuel is Lemuel. And I think Solomon is Solomon. And until I have some valid reason to think they are the same person, it's just an interesting note. Now, Verse 10, who can find a virtuous woman for her price is far above rubies? That means this is rare. But it shouldn't be. How many Christian women exist out there? All of them, if not most of them, should be virtuous, but that ain't the case. And, you know, I'm not gonna name names. If you think you're a virtuous woman, praise the Lord. I hope you are. But you should be. You should be a virtuous woman if you are a woman who claims to belong to Jesus Christ. If you're not, here's your chance to fix it and make it right, right now. I wouldn't go another day without studying this passage, memorizing this passage, and living this passage. That's what I would encourage you to do. The opening question suggests that truly virtuous women are rare and precious. The word virtuous means strength or valor, depicting spiritual and moral fortitude. So it's a combination of a strong woman with strong character, but all of that in the context of good, godly morality. Makes a big difference. There are a lot of women who have strong character and strong work ethic, but could care less about God. And that can be quite ugly. But when you combine all that with godly morality, what a blessing. It's a virtuous woman, is what it is. and it's what God said is rare and priceless. This woman possesses strength made manifest through wisdom, grace, and the fear of God. If you don't fear God, none of this is gonna mean anything to you. In fact, you're gonna be like, is he done yet? I'm ready to go. The rhetorical question, who can find, indicates both the difficulty of locating such a woman and the diligent search required. All right, so, The passage indicates that it's the man who's going to be looking for the woman, not the woman hunting down men. If you're a virtuous woman, you're busy. You have responsibilities. You have people to take care of. You have things to do. Searching for men is not on the list. They will find you. If you're not a virtuous woman, then a good godly man is not going to find you. you're going to have to go make it happen. You're going to have to go force yourself into a relationship that you never should have been in. But if you're faithful to church, you're faithful to the Lord, you're faithful to your family, what man is not going to want that? At that point, it's up to you to ask the man, well, are you faithful to the Lord? Are you faithful to church? Are you faithful to your family? Because if you're not, if I am and you're not, we're not compatible. But what happens is, a woman won't be faithful to those things, she's kind of half-hearted at best, and then when men are not interested in her, who are godly men, she thinks there's a problem with the man, and it's not a problem with the man, it's you. When you're not a godly woman, what godly man wants to be with you? You see how that works? That's like trying to, you know, that's like the whole, never mind, let's not go there, let's just keep going with this tonight. A man's supposed to be looking for you, but you're supposed to be what he's looking for. Now, if you resemble the world, well, then guess what type of men are going to come looking for you? If you resemble the Lord Jesus Christ, guess what type of men are going to come looking for you? It really is that simple. You just got to be careful and stay focused on things you're supposed to be focused on, and then the Lord will work all that out for you. But when you're just half-hearted and not devoted, then that's what's going to come looking for you. That's what you're compatible with. If you're half-hearted, then some half-hearted shaky man is what's going to come looking for you. So don't be that. This is a difficult woman to find. You can be that woman. It's your choice. It's entirely up to you. Men seeking wives must prioritize character over external beauty, wealth, or social standing. Now, of course, it's nice when she's beautiful and moral. It's nice if she's beautiful and moral and rich. But if you've got to choose between them, that woman better love the Lord. So, if all you can see is how pretty she is and you can't take a step back and say, yeah, but does she love God? You're about to get yourself in serious trouble. Some of the most beautiful women in the world are in the positions they're in precisely because they have absolutely no morality, and they are completely willing to do whatever is necessary, including things that we will not talk about from this pulpit, to achieve their temporal goals. And if that means abandoning you and her children and everything else in life, for her career, for a movie, for a song, whatever, she'll do it. That's not what you're looking for. But she's so beautiful. Yeah, yeah. She is. But what if somebody cooked you up a nice steak that was completely molded in the middle? It looks so good. Yeah, until you cut into it. Then you find all sorts of trouble. Don't do it. Her price, being far above rubies, establishes her incomparable wealth. Ancient Near Eastern trade valued rubies above gold for their rarity. It's pretty incredible. This comparison teaches husbands to value their wives, if you have a virtuous woman, properly. Now here's the problem. If you marry her, sir, and things aren't working out, she's not a virtuous woman, and it makes it a little harder to value her, you still gotta do it. You said you were so excited you stood before that preacher or whoever it was and you said, in sickness and in health, till death, death do us part. Until you find out you made the wrong choice and then all of a sudden death do us part goes out the window. What if people had to be held to their vows? How do you think that would go? They used to. It used to be that our country didn't let you just pay $99 and get out of the vow that you made. Of course, now, you don't even have to have a reason. The more rare such women become, the more they should be treasured. And they are. They're greatly treasured. But then, verses 11 and 12, the heart of her husband does safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. That's what a bad woman does to a man. God didn't say, He said nothing about the character of the man. Maybe he was a jerk, maybe he was great, doesn't matter. If you marry a woman who is not a virtuous woman, she is going to spoil you. She's going to ruin your life. Be very careful. The husband's trust encompasses multiple dimensions. Her chastity, never giving occasion for jealousy. I've never been jealous of my wife and wonder why she's off with some guy talking to him off to the side, ever. And I have, it would blow my mind if it ever happened because she just doesn't do stuff like that. Neither do I. I belong to my wife. I am with my family. The more I can be with my family, the better. And that's it. I don't want to be anywhere else. Her wisdom, managing affairs prudently. He can trust her to both, the body that she promised was for him is for him. He's not at work wondering, well, I wonder what she's doing now, I wonder who she's talking to, I wonder who she's texting, who she's talking to on Facebook. There's no chance. That is, if that is your relationship, you are in serious trouble. And you need to fix it immediately. I don't know what you're gonna do or how you're gonna fix it, but you gotta do something to fix that before total destruction comes. And it is coming. Her faithfulness, never betraying family interests. I can't tell you how many friends I have. My wife went and bought an unbelievably expensive car that we can't afford. What? Did y'all talk about it? No, she just came home with it. Now, You do what you want. We live in a country where you can do that kind of thing. In Saudi Arabia, a woman ain't doing that. In Old Testament times, under the law, if that woman came home with that car and her husband went back to that dealership and said, I didn't have any part in this, you're taking it back, they had to take it back. But we live in America, where women are free. And so you can go and ruin your life all you want. God said, you need to be careful that you marry a woman who is not going to spoil your home. She's not going to go out in self-interest and destroy the home. She's going to be careful. She's going to be thoughtful. If it's something we can't afford, we're not buying it. If it's something we can't do, we're not going there. She's careful. The phrase, no need of spoil, indicates that her excellent management eliminates his temptation toward dishonest gain. He doesn't need to go do anything unlawful, improper, irregular, and she's not going to ruin the home. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. Her life. What about when he passes away? Her life. She can't wait till he dies and then run him down or talk bad about him or destroy him. She is going to be good to her husband all the days of her life. Life or death. Her commitment to his welfare remains constant throughout their marriage. This involves prudent accommodation to his temperament, kind words even when he's difficult, but men really aren't difficult, right? Yeah, that's what I thought. In response, because the woman is virtuous, she spoke with wisdom and the law of kindness, right? Rather than being contentious and destroying her home, she was kind and careful attention to his needs in health and in sickness. At least that's what they say. Till death do us part, in sickness and in health. And the first chance you get, you go and run your husband down. Notably, this dedication continues all the days of her life. It's not temporal. You don't get to be half-hearted. Well, I was good to him for about a year. All the days of her life. Now, this is what God says. You don't got to do any of this. You can be a modern American woman and do things the way the modern American woman does them. But this is for a virtuous woman who wants to be a godly woman. That's what we're talking about here. It exceeds everything. It's head and shoulders above the rest. Then verses 13 through 19, she seeketh wool and flax and worketh willingly with her hands. Uh-oh. The virtuous woman actively procures materials for textile work and engages personally in household production. She's not out trying to have a competing career with her husband. She's at home taking care of that house. He comes home, and the kids are taken care of, the home is taken care of, things are in order. He can trust her. She's industrious. She's hardworking. The phrase, worketh willingly, suggests her hands desire to perform their task. He'd either call her, hey, are you taking care of the house? What are you doing? She just does it. She knows what needs to be done around that house. She gets up and she does it, willingly, on her own. She works with the will of her hands. Her labor springs from joy rather than grudging obligation. I'm the one who's got to do this. You don't? Well, who's going to do it if you don't? I know a man right now married to a woman who will not do a thing while he's going to work all day. She doesn't take care of the kids. She won't bathe them. She won't clothe them. She won't go shopping for food for the house. She waits for him to get home, and after he works all day, he has to come home and do all of that on his own. She's not participating. She's not helping. That is not a virtuous woman. That is a woman that needs some help, but probably doesn't want it. She is like the merchant's ship. She bringeth her food from afar. Like successful trading vessels, she secures the best provisions for her household. Even if they must come from distant sources, she's gonna get what they need. She's gonna take care of that house. I don't care where I gotta go get it from, we're gonna get it. We're gonna take care of this house and make sure we have what we need. Her diligent efforts yield abundant returns, ensuring her family's needs are met. She riseth also while it is yet night. and giveth meat to her household and a portion to her maidens." She gets up and takes care of people. She didn't get up, I don't know why I got to get up, I don't know why, I don't want to feed people, I don't want to do this, I don't want to do that. She didn't get them to start whining. She just gets up and gets after it. Her early rising demonstrates dedication to family welfare over personal comfort. See, that's the problem. I want me to be comfortable and I don't want you to get in the way of my comfort. That's the modern mentality. It's lazy, it's useless, and it will not build a family. In fact, it's toxic and it's going to be destructive to a family. And that is not what you want to be. Unlike those who indulge in late night entertainment and sleep late, she prioritizes her household's readiness for productive work. If you don't get them ready and have them prepared for the next day and for that day, who's going to? Presumably you have a husband who works and should be out doing what he's supposed to be doing and taking care of the family in that way. So who's gonna make sure that the children and what is needed at the house are set in order? should be a virtuous woman. She considereth the field and buyeth it, and with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. Her business dealings show careful deliberation. She thoroughly evaluates potential purchases, considering their value, her ability to afford them, and their benefit to the family. See, those are the three main considerations. What is that worth? What will it do for us? What's the benefit to our family? And can I afford it? That pretty much simplifies things, doesn't it? Will it bring us value other than my immediate pleasure? Will it bring us some kind of long-term value? Can we afford it? And is it helpful? Most people just, I want it. but you can't afford it. I have a credit card. I can get a loan. I can do this. I can do that. Okay. You have a family. Do you want to take care of your family? Do you want to set them up for the future? Are you concerned about that at all? If you're not, then have at it. Jump in. If you are, how about pumping the brakes a little bit, slowing down and evaluating the situation before you make a mess of your life? I say that with love. She girdeth her loins with strength and strengtheneth her arms. She approaches work with energy and determination, not limiting herself to light tasks but engaging in labor requiring physical strength." You carry a baby around all day and clean a house. That requires physical strength. Her diligence maintains and increases her capabilities. She's a hard-working woman. She's faithful. She perceiveth that her merchandise is good, her candle goeth not out by night, recognizing the value of her work." You know what that does to you? When you can see the value that you are producing in somebody else's life, it's hard to quit. It makes you want to keep going. It makes you want to push harder. It makes you want to give more. So she's up late at night and then gets up while it's still dark, that early in the morning, and gets right back at it. She's a faithful, hardworking woman. She extends productive hours by working by candlelight, maximizing her contribution to family prosperity. Of course, now you don't even have to use candlelight. You can use all sorts of lights, LED, fluorescent, I mean, whatever you want. Turn the light on and go at it. Nobody has to make you. If you're virtuous, you know what you need to be doing. If you need to be up working, do it. If you need to be in bed getting rest to get up a great while before day the next day, do it. If you gotta do both, work late and then get up early and get back at it, you need to do it. All this, This weak-minded laziness needs to disappear. She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. Despite her other responsibilities and having servants, she personally engages in traditional women's work. She doesn't slow down. This hands-on involvement demonstrates humility and dedication to excellence. She stretcheth out her hand to the poor, yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. Her industry serves not selfish purposes, but enables generous charity. She can take care of other people outside of her family because she has so taken care of her family, so taken care of her own servants, that she can go beyond that. And she doesn't do it to make herself feel good, she does it because she can. She does it because she's the type of woman that is dedicated to serving and giving and helping other people who are in need. The repeated reference to hands emphasizes active engagement rather than passive sympathy. Oh, just throw some money at them and see if it will help them. No. I grew some food, let me bring it to you. I raised some chickens, some ducks, some pigs, some goats. I have been working hard and have so provided that I can not only take care of my family, but I can give to somebody else who has a need. You got women today, men, women, children, everybody today needs to get over this selfish, self-centered mentality where it's all about me and my personal comfort. I don't have a lot of sympathy for it. Verses 21 through 22, she is not afraid of the snow for her household, for all her household are clothed with scarlet. So she knew winter was coming and she made sure that her family was ready. Right? Isn't that a reasonable thing to do? But you'd be surprised, you know it's about to rain. You know that winter is coming. You know that whatever it is that's ahead, that comes every year at the same time, and you've made no effort whatsoever to make sure your family is prepared. How can that be? It's because you're not thinking about it. You're not concerned about your family. television, Facebook, whatever's got your attention, you need to throw it out the window and get focused on things that matter. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry. Her clothing is silk and purple. Bethany would like that. She'd be all right with all that. While working diligently, she maintains appropriate dignity in dress suitable to her husband's position. Her clothing reflects care and orderliness without vanity." So she's not chasing the looks of the world. She's not trashy. She's not wearing yoga pants and short shorts and dressing like trash. She's dressing like a modest, respectable woman, right? Those are your choices. You have the world and the trash that it tries to push upon you, or you have godly women that you can follow. Choose wisely. Choose wisely. Verses 23-24, her husband is known in the gates. When he sitteth among the elders of the land, her character and management enhance her husband's public standing. I can't tell you how many times we have gone to churches or been supported by churches or have friends that talk about my wife and how much they respect her and appreciate her. It's a blessing. It makes me look better. So when I show up, they're like, man, you have a great wife. I know. It's wonderful. I don't show up and they're like, you know what your wife put on Facebook the other day? You know what your wife said to my wife the other day? No, I don't. What happened? No, none of that. None of that exists in our lives. We don't get caught up in that garbage and not going to. His wisdom, pleasant demeanor, and neat appearance all reflect the peace and order of his household. If he's leading his house and he has a virtuous wife, man, what a wonderful combination. What a great combination. She maketh fine linen and selleth it, and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. Her production exceeds household needs, enabling profitable trade. This entrepreneurial activity contributes to family prosperity while maintaining appropriate ladylike roles." Isn't that great? She not only takes care of herself, her husband, her maidens, her children, the animals, she buys land, she plants vineyards, and I presume maintains all of that. She sews clothes, she makes girdles, she sells them, she makes clothes and has her children prepared. This is a woman, this is an industrious woman. She is doing so much that the CEO of a Fortune 500 company couldn't compare and couldn't keep up. It's pretty incredible. Verses 25 to 27, strength and honor are her clothing and she shall rejoice in time to come. Her true beauty consists of moral strength and integrity. What a blessing. That is a woman you can just trust her. She's not bashing you behind your back. She's not running her mouth. She's not contentious. She's not fighting with you. She's taking care of the home and just does a great job at it. And it's just a pleasure to be around. Notice that she does all of this and there's hardly a word spoken about the characteristics of her husband. Well, you don't know how my husband is. God didn't ask you. You shouldn't have married him if he was less than desirable. You should have been careful. Now having married him, according to God, that has no bearing on whether you're going to be a virtuous woman or not. That's your choice, not his, not anybody else's. That's up to you. You make that choice and you live that out or you don't. These qualities enable her to face challenges with resilience and provide confidence about the future. She anticipates joy both in reflecting on a well-lived life and in eternal rewards. You raise good godly children, you think that's not going to impact you in eternity? Oh yeah. And then if they raise good godly children and it just goes on and on and on and on and that all becomes part of your reward when you stand face to face with the Lord. What a blessing. She openeth her mouth with wisdom. That is desperately needed today. And in her tongue is the law of kindness. Now, it doesn't say, wisdom and kindness if. It's just who she is. It's how she acts. Because she's a virtuous woman, the way that other people act are not going to change her using wisdom and kindness. because she's a virtuous woman. If you're not a virtuous woman, it's very easy to find out. All you gotta do is be tested a little bit, and all of a sudden, wisdom and kindness go out the door, and that mouse starts flying off at the hinges, and you can do that all you want. No problem, enjoy it, have at it. But you're not a virtuous woman if that's the way you act, if that's the way you talk. The law of kindness governing her tongue shows that love directs all her words, commanding both respect and compliance. She looketh well to the ways of her household and eateth not the bread of idleness. She supervises her household effectively, monitoring family members and servants to ensure proper behavior and spiritual growth. If the mother and father are not monitoring their family and their children for spiritual growth, who's going to? Well, I thought my pastor would do it. Well, he does it whenever you show up to church, which for a lot of Americans is not often. They rarely show up. And so how's a pastor gonna be involved in your spiritual growth if you don't even show up? That's your responsibility. She avoids idleness herself, demonstrating the discipline she expects from others. That'd be a blessing. If you expect others to be disciplined, how about be the example? Verses 28 through 31, her children arise up and call her blessed. Her husband also, and he praiseth her. Her children honor and respect her. My wife and I, we could not imagine a world in which our children did not honor us and respect us and love us. What a terrible place to be. Now, you can't control, you can't always control how your children turn out. It's just, at some point, they're gonna make their own decisions. But you should give every ounce of yourself, every day of your life to help them turn out the right way. If they end up not following the Lord and not having a good relationship with you, it should be just about over your dead body. Having given your all to make it work, make it work the right way. Her husband publicly acknowledges her excellence, demonstrating proper appreciation for her contributions. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. This represents the husband's praise, acknowledging that while many women possess virtue, right? So I have no doubt there are many men who have good wives. I know many men who just brag and brag and brag about their wives, but they're not like my wife. I have the best. And they would say the same thing. Praise the Lord. That's the way it's supposed to be. Now, If you're not one of those men and you would say, I don't know if I'd put my wife in the running for that. Then you've got a serious problem and I pray that you will fix it. It might be funny to joke about having wife problems, right? I don't get the joke, I don't understand it, I can't relate. But if it's more than a joke, if you actually have a destructive home, what are you doing? You need to fix that immediately. That needs to be addressed immediately. You should dedicate every second of your time and every ounce of your energy to doing everything you can to restore that home and those relationships. The older I get, the more I appreciate relationships. I don't get any better at them. but I appreciate them and I am thankful for them. And I would rather have the relationship than to be destructive because I'm so godly and I'm so right that I can't get along with anybody. That's not how, if you're following what Jesus taught you, then you're gonna be gracious and kind and helpful to people. There's a point where you gotta put your foot down, you gotta tell people what they need to hear. But being a jerk in the name of Jesus is not boldness and it's not godly. If you follow what the Lord teaches, you're gonna have a close relationship. The man that I admire the most, when I look at someone like Pastor Ron Ralph, he and his children are unbelievably close. He preaches out all the time, he's traveling all the time, he's all over the place, and yet he was able to do all that and maintain a strong family relationship. I know other preachers who have done the same thing, who preached out just as much, and their children hate them and want nothing to do with church and want nothing to do with Christianity. You did it wrong. Now, I don't know what the difference is. We're not going to sit down and compare the two because circumstances, family circumstances are also different. But if you're living in accord with this book, you're going to have a strong family and a strong family bond. If you're not, then there's a good chance you're not going to have a strong family. Now, that requires everybody involved to be doing this and to living this way, and there's a lot of factors in that. That's a very simplistic way to state that, so don't take it the wrong way and don't start running off with it in your mind, but generally speaking, that's the case. Favor is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. You fear the Lord, you will be praised. If you're not being praised, if people are not looking to you and lifting you up, what do you think the problem is? Is there any evidence that you fear God and live for the Lord? The passage concludes by contrasting superficial attraction with genuine virtue. Physical charm and beauty deceive and fade, but the fear of the Lord constitutes the soul's enduring beauty, precious in God's sight and deserving of lasting praise." A good woman, a virtuous woman, her praises deserve to be sung until the end of the age. It's a wonderful thing. It's probably one of the most foundational things in a home and in the lives of children as they grow up. If you look back through families, when I think of my own family, that there are two pillars that stem, that our family, when these two women were alive, the whole family was strong and stayed together. When these two women died, everyone drifted and went their own way. Now, there were men involved in that in both cases. There were good men involved in that, godly men. But there was something about those two women, my two great grandmothers, two very godly women, that just held everything together. And when they were gone, it all fell apart. give of her the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates. She deserves recognition and reward for her diligent service. So if you didn't give diligent service to your family and to your children, you do not deserve reward. If you abandoned your family, if you lived a self-centered life, then don't expect reward from the Lord or for your children to rise up and praise you. Now, I know that, Brother Thomas, that's kind of hard. I get it. But I would rather state that plainly and let it have its impact on someone who is willing to get up and fix that now than allow things to drift on in the wrong direction and end up being destructive and ruining people's lives. I would rather see somebody hear that, the impact of that statement, think about it, and do something about it. Wouldn't you? I hope so. Her good works themselves testify of her character, providing the best praise whether or not others actively commend her. When a strong woman of good character is present in your life, man, what a treasure. It's a great thing to have. All right, application for Christian families. We'll wrap up here. For young women, Single women should cultivate the character qualities described here. You should go out of your way to develop these characters. If you don't have them, and you're not a virtuous woman, then I wouldn't get married, I wouldn't enter into a relationship, I'd stay as far away from men as I could until you develop them. Because what's going to happen is, if you don't have them, the wrong men are going to come looking for you. When you have them, the wrong men are going to come looking for you, but you're going to guard yourself and make sure that also, as the right men come looking for a virtuous woman, you give yourself to the right one. Her good works themselves are, sorry I'm down here, developing skills, Single women should cultivate the character qualities described here, developing skills in household management, industry, and especially the fear of the Lord. These virtues prepare them for marriage while making them valuable to God's kingdom in any calling. You can take a virtuous woman to Africa. You can take her to South America. You can take her to China. You can take her to America. It doesn't matter where you take her. She's going to serve God and serve her family. and do it faithfully. For married women, wives can examine this portrait as both encouragement and instruction, remembering that perfect performance isn't required, but growth in these directions honors God and blesses family. Everybody's not gonna do everything right all the time, but a virtuous woman is gonna keep working at it, and a good husband will do the same. And they will recognize in each other, while we might not be perfect, we are both looking out and guarding the good of our family together. We might both make some mistakes here and there. And by the way, just I want to clarify that. I accidentally texted a woman who is not my wife is not a mistake. That is stupid. My wife lingering too long with a man who is not her husband is not a mistake. That's not what I'm saying. That's not what I'm talking about. While diligently, faithfully serving and working together, you stumble every now and then or make some mistakes together, that's what I'm talking about. In my opinion, there are limitations to these things. And I'm afraid if I just say, if you make a mistake here and there, it's okay. And some people's minds are going to say, oh, so that girl I was flirting with, I guess that was okay. No, it's not okay. And if you're making that kind of mistake, I just, I wouldn't call that a mistake. That's, that's in a whole nother category of its own. If you're married, why are you talking to another woman? Period. If you're married, why are you talking to another man? Period. Right? So, once you decide you're going to pursue someone, and they decide they're going to pursue you, and this is a godly pursuit, then that's it. All the side talk is gone. If your goal is marriage, then that's what you need to be working toward, and then once you get married, everybody else is gone. I just wanted to see what that guy looked like from 10 years ago. No, you don't. Why do you want to see that? And if you want to see that, what that means to me is you need to delete Facebook, you need to delete social media and get off the internet because you can't handle it. For parents, both fathers and mothers should teach these principles to their daughters while instructing sons to value character over superficial qualities in choosing a wife. My son from a very young age, I mean, I'm talking about he's three years old now, when he was like, Nine months old, if a pretty woman walked by, he was already staring. Somebody's gotta teach him that, look, I hope he marries the most beautiful woman in the world, but she better have some character, and she better be a virtuous woman, or he just entered into a horrendous situation. But she's so pretty, it will be no consolation for what she's gonna do to you, at all. Don't do it. For husbands, men should appreciate and honor virtuous wives, recognizing their tremendous contribution to family prosperity and spiritual health. And it is an unbelievable, it is an inordinate contribution. It is unbelievably important and valuable. What a virtuous woman adds to a home cannot be replaced. There is no replacement for it. You don't have enough money. You don't have enough vacations. You don't have enough of anything to replace the incredible value of a virtuous woman. Praise the Lord for it. They should also protect their wives from unreasonable expectations while encouraging growth and godliness. All right, so you be realistic. And if she's realistic, the two of you are going to have a great relationship. She's not going to do everything that you want her to do. She's going to be everything you want her to be. And you're not going to live up to everything you promised her and told her. So both of you do the best you can and be gracious when one or the other falls short. Period. The Proverbs 31 woman represents an achievable pattern of godly womanhood rooted in the fear of the Lord Her example calls Christian families to prioritize character, industry, and faithfulness over worldly attractions, finding in God's wisdom the path to true happiness and blessing. You want to be happy? You want to have a good life? This is what you need to be. Getting up early and serving other people? Yeah. Yeah. God said that's the key to rejoicing. That's the key to reward. That's the key to being praised. That's where it all comes from. Serve other people. Get up early, stay up late, work hard, take care of other people. And God said in the end, you will not only build up reward in heaven, but you'll have people praising you till kingdom come. Amen? I know, it's exciting stuff. Calm down, it's getting a little loud in here. All right, let's pray together and then we'll be dismissed. Father, thank you for your goodness, for your mercy, for your grace. Thank you for virtuous women and the incredible contribution they make to this world, to families, to churches, to societies. We would have nothing without them. It saddens my heart that so many of them end up being abandoned by husbands and it saddens my heart that so many women refuse to live out life as a virtuous woman. They just would prefer a self-centered lifestyle focused on me and that's all. Lord, we pray that you'd help us to do all we can to raise up godly women who would live virtuously, who would give their all to serve their families, to serve their church, serve their husbands, their children. We just give their all to please you And Lord, there's great honor and there's great reward in doing so. I pray that you'd help us. In Christ's name we pray, amen. Thank you for your time.