Well, good morning, everybody. I tell you, I got really excited when I got a call from Mel a few months ago, said he wanted me to teach a Sunday school lesson during the summer session, and he said it was going to be on marriage. And I thought to myself, man, you know, the scales have fallen from his eyes. He's seen what a good husband I am, how well I treat Evelyn, and he wants me to share this with the body. He picked me as that person. And then the schedule comes out for the summer, and I scroll down looking for my name, and it says Tim Kronk, July 22nd, marriage. What's going on here? So I talk with Tim. He says, oh yeah, I had vacation that week, so Mel had to get a substitute. So anyway, I guess I'm the backup quarterback with the clipboard on the sideline. But nonetheless, happy to be with you. You know, Evelyn told me, since this is on marriage, tried to give me some good advice. She said, I remember, you know, try to be, you know, try to have some humor, be funny about it. So, you know, I work for the Department of Justice. You know, I have connections. See, I call up Joe Biden, said, you know, I need a joke. Well, no, we won't go there. Well, anyway, ladies and gentlemen, today our lesson is on marriage. And I think those of you who have gotten Dr. Ferguson's book, you'll see his book is geared more toward the young people, or maybe perhaps not so young people, looking for a spouse, thinking about marriage, desiring marriage. And that is going to be a lot of the focus of the lesson today. But of course, for those of you sitting there with your arms around your spouse, don't think that this doesn't apply to you, that there aren't good lessons for you as well. There are good opportunities to learn and to evaluate our own marriages as we talk about what folks should be looking for biblically and how they can do so. I think a proper place to start would be definitions. What is marriage? We have, of course, in our society today numerous definitions running about. And I want to start today with the Church's definition found in Scripture and the world's definition. First, for the world. I've picked, again, there are sources one can go to, but I've found a pretty good example of actually a court case. Most of you know I'm a lawyer, so I'll look at these sort of things, not necessarily for wisdom, often just to get an idea of what's going on out there. A fairly succinct definition was found in a 2010 case out of California, Perry v. Schwarzenegger. Perry was a district court decision in response to Proposition 8. California amended their state constitution via ballot initiative, a referendum, if you will, to declare marriage to be between one woman and one man. Well, that case made its way into the courts, Chief Judge of the District Court, Judge Vaughn D. Walker, actually struck down this amendment of the Constitution as being against the 14th Amendment of the U.S. Constitution. And in this opinion, Judge Walker defines marriage as follows, quote, A couple's choice to live with each other, to remain committed to one another, and to form a household based on their own feelings about one another, and to join in an economic partnership to support one another and any dependents. It's the world's definition of marriage, if you will. We say, well, couple. Well, what does that mean? Does that mean a man and a woman, as the Bible teaches us? Well, not exactly. According to Judge Walker, quote, the exclusion of same-sex couples from marriage exists as an artifact of a time when the genders were seen as having distinct roles in society and marriage. That time has passed, end quote. Judge Walker continues in his opinion to pronounce that, quote, gender no longer forms an essential part of marriage, end quote. Men and women, according to Judge Walker, are much like pennies, fungible units that can serve similar purposes. To no one's surprise, Judge Walker's never been married, but he gives these great pronouncements about the institution. Well, what is the culprit that the world, or in this case, our friend Judge Walker, sees that has oppressed people. Well, he says it's orthodox Christianity, which to him is a fountainhead of, quote, stereotypes and misinformation, end quote, that has, I quote again, resulted in the social and legal disadvantage of gays and lesbians. Perhaps sensing a great Christian conspiracy and ruling on Proposition 8, Judge Walker took pains to note that 84% of the people who attend church weekly voted in favor of Proposition 8 in California. That is the world's definition of marriage. It's an economic partnership between two individuals who seek their mutual self-actualization. World's definition. What does the Bible teach us? We look to the Westminster Confession. We'll start for that definition. Chapter 24 teaches that marriage is to be between one man and one woman. Neither is it lawful for any man to have more than one wife, nor any woman to have more than one husband at the same time. That's a confession. Of course, the proof texts for that are one of them that the divines give. Genesis 2, 24. Therefore, shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife and they shall be one flesh. Matthew 19, 5 and 6. Told by the Savior, for this reason a man will leave his father and mother, united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh, for they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate. Marriage, according to the Bible, was ordained for the mutual health of husband and wife, for the increase of mankind, with legitimate issue, holy seed for the church, and of preventing uncleanness. That's what the confession and the scriptural verses behind that teach, much different from that of the world. First question we might have with marriage is, must we marry? The answer is no. A single state, should be pursued so long as that is the will of God. It's okay to be single. I can look out here and see a number of single people that I know that are good, godly Christian men and women, servants in the church. If you're called to be single, single's a wonderful status. But if you're called to marry, then the Bible tells us to marry. In 1 Corinthians 7 and 8, Chapter 7, verse 8 tells us, it is good for them to stay unmarried as I do, Paul says, but if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it's better to marry than to burn with passion. It's about one's calling. It's often, it's difficult to discern. I know one time Mel again called upon me to teach the college Sunday school class here at the church. Well, it didn't take me too long to figure out, and any member of that class can attest, I wasn't called to do that. We didn't jive, as they say on the street, didn't have a good mix there. However, God has called me to teach Sunday school, and most of you know I teach every Sunday, today an exception. at Perry Correctional Institute. I teach a class in one of the dorms there to some of the inmates. Kirby Key from this church at Perry right now, he teaches a Sunday school class in the assisted living unit there where men have been sentenced to life imprisonment, and Kirby is teaching a Sunday school class in their assisted living unit to many of these men who are in firms and wheelchairs now every Sunday. So we've been called to do that. Of course, I will let you draw what conclusions you will if For some reason, I don't jive with the children of the church brought up in godly households, but man, I take to a group of felons, and I love those guys. So you can draw whatever conclusions you want to about the children of the church, felons, or me, but those are my people. It's a blessing to teach them, and I definitely thank the Lord for calling me there. It's something I would have never anticipated, but I actually missed those guys today. Came to the early service, and instead of going to Perry, got someone to cover and certainly kept them in prayer because I do miss them here. Dear Christian brothers, I get to minister to and to watch them grow in grace and evangelize in the prisons. It's a front row seat for a miracle, to watch a miracle, to work there. So that's the idea about should we marry. If you're called or not called, again, difficult in working that out, but we'll see some more in this lesson about how biblically one can make such determinations. Now before you go into marriage, and for those of us who are married, be realistic in your expectations of marriage, okay? Gotta remember, marriage is a union of two fallen imperfect sinners, both of whom deserve the condemnation of God but for the work of Jesus Christ. Your spouse is not going to be perfect. It's going to be rocky times. We're sinners. Though certainly we're regenerated, those of us who are believers, we all know that it's a full-time job trying to mortify the old man. And the old man crops up and say something, do something. Where'd that come from? Came from our sin there. Marriage is not going to be the answer to all your problems. I think we see a mistake. Too many people set up marriage as an idol. And especially a lot of young ladies as, say, the biological clock is ticking, think, well, if I just had a husband, everything would be good. That's the answer. No, marriage is a great institution. I'm blessed to be married. I have a wonderful wife. But marriage should not be looked upon as some sort of idol there. you know, I think it's similar to how, unfortunately, some folks, you know, pick on the young ladies for a minute and look at having children. If they just had that baby doll, that child, you know, everything would be great. You know, in my job, I'm a federal prosecutor and Of course, I prosecute women as well as men. We're an equal opportunity prosecution service at the Department of Justice. And you wouldn't, you'd be shocked how many times when a woman comes in for sentencing, and she's been found guilty or pled guilty, and lo and behold, she's pregnant, getting ready to go to the Bureau of Prisons, And she's pregnant. Of course, part of that might be to curry favor with the judge, sort of as a dare. Hey, I'm pregnant. What are you going to do, put me in jail? Well, most of the ones I've appeared before are like, yes, I am. And they do. But I think part of that is this idea that you see so many people that, oh, if I just had that child, that would be the answer to my problems. That would be great to have this little creature that's just gonna just love me. Again, set up a child as an idol. Well, again, we do that with marriage somewhat as an institution. And we should remember, as Jesus told the woman at the well, everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again. But those who drink the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become a spring of water welling up. to eternal life. That's the living water. Marriage, a great biblical institution, but young people, don't look at it as, make it an idol. As we all know, very good things can be idols in our lives. Marriage is a good thing. Keep it in its place. Don't look at it as an idol that will save you or make your world perfect. Christ is the only living water you can look for. Biblical in your preparation. How do you be biblical in your preparation or in your continued existence in the institution of marriage? Well, we look to the scriptures to answer these fundamental questions about marriage. What's marriage for? We see in Genesis that God did not want man to be lonely in the world. He wanted man to have fellowship. Genesis 2.18 tells us that the Lord God said, It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him. Those dating, thinking about marriage, young people you should ask if your boyfriend, your girlfriend, whoever, is someone who you could have fellowship with. Give fellowship and receive it. This is intimate fellowship. Keep in mind that some elements, they just don't mix. Some compounds you put together, they explode. Certain chemicals have nasty reactions. Others bond together, make cohesive, strong compounds. Take a serious inventory as you're, say, looking about for a spouse or contemplating that. Do these elements go together? The explosive, you know, take a realistic inventory biblically on that. What should we look for in a husband and a wife? What does the Bible tell us? Well, I think we see examples that women, perhaps, naturally look for a Boaz-type figure, a man that will provide for his wife. And Ruth, we're told in 3-9 when Ruth approaches Boaz, says, you know, and who are you? And she answered, I am Ruth, your servant. Spread your wings over your servant, for you are a redeemer. Men, I think, naturally sort of look at that Eve, that pre-fall Eve, that helper that God wanted man to have. When you're dating, looking about, ask yourselves, do I see, ladies, is this a Boaz figure? Is this one that will provide, that will protect? Men, is this a helpmate that God would ask you? And for those that you are already married, husbands, are we being that Boaz figure? Are we protecting and providing for our wives, cherishing our wives? And women, are you being that helpmate for your husband as the Bible commands? Of course, I would urge, especially our young ladies in this church, and rightfully so, we see perhaps some couples marrying younger than typically in the world. You know, and as a pastor will tell you, the basis for that is many of you have been brought up in strong Christian homes, have been in the church all your lives, and are very mature in the faith and are ready for such a step in your lives. And that is, Rick certainly encourages that. I would especially caution our young ladies that what happens when your Boaz turns out to be an Ahab or the Lord's plan is to take him away from you early? Is he giving you the opportunity to go to school? If you're in a vocational program, to participate in that, finish that. College, to go to college, get an education. So in case one day the care of your children was foisted upon you, would have skills to provide for them, think about these things there. Certainly, we have a lot of large families in the church, and so hear Pastor Rick talk about what a blessing it is to hear all the little feet running around. Nothing wrong with having a large family, but remember, don't have to have 10 kids by the time you're age 25. We can take it slow. You can go to school. You can finish school. But seriously, I say that in some jest, but if God has given you that opportunity to further your education, you can get married and continue in school. But, you know, be wise about something like that. This, you know, unfortunately, I think for some of you that are from Greenville, Evelyn told me at one time, probably every young lady in Greenville at a certain time had worked for Stone Manufacturing. I think that was a company she mentioned. Jobs aren't as plentiful as they once were. So think about that, your future, your education, as you contemplate marriage as well. Those are serious subjects there. Now, how do we fulfill our roles in marriage? I think two words would be the best is mutual submission. In Ephesians 5, 21, Through 28 we're told to submit to one another out of our reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. His body, of which he is Savior, Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also should wives submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water and through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In the same way husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies, he who loves his wife loves himself. Now we see in the world often when these verses are quoted, discussions are sort of that mocking of the admonition that wives should submit to their husbands. What the world fails to take note of as they mock that is The admonition given to husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church, which was of course even unto death, a sacrificial love there. But we see in both commandments there this idea of mutual submission there to each other. Be partnership. Be in partnership there. There are certainly different roles that each plays. Judge Walker's opinion of the genders to the contrary. But it's sacrificial love. One of what really advice one could give on how to fulfill the different roles in marriage is to act with sacrificial love. We've been studying in our men's Bible study on Friday, 1 John, and Bill Hedgepath was pointing out, I believe last week or week before, in defining love, John tells you, God is love, and of course, We see that truism twisted often in the liberal church and in the world. But John defines it for us. This is how we know what love is. Christ Jesus laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay our lives down for our brothers and sisters. That's sacrificial love. Well, that has to be present in marriage there. being little things and big things, you can sometimes overlook it, but it's there. I think that when I think of my marriage, and I think I have a very successful marriage, I'm blessed with a wife, is I can just look and see those, that sacrificial love that, you know, Evelyn continually shows to me. Seems like always, you know, putting my needs ahead of her needs, and I just pray that she sees a little bit of that in me as well. So I think about it this way. Sunday dinner at grandma's back in the day, where it used to be fried chicken, That was Sunday dinner in homes in the South. And any of you who went to grandmother's or your mother had a big crowd over, you ever notice that as the chicken was being passed around the table, grandma said, oh, let me get that neck. I love the neck. You know, many of you might have thought, well, yes. Grandma, you take that neck. I'm going for that drumstick. Newsflash, Grandma really didn't like that neck. She was sacrificing because she wanted you to have the best portion. She wanted you to have the drumstick or the breast of the chicken. But Grandma always took the neck and acted like that's the best part of the chicken. That was sacrificial love, again, in small things. But you have to have that sacrificial love in marriage in the small things as well as the big things there. Now, what is the character of marriage? Well, Dr. Ferguson teaches us in the book that marriage is just not a new relationship with someone, but it's a new status. It's an exclusive and permanent status according to the Bible, as we've already seen in our proof text. It's a total commitment of your mind, the will, and your affections to this Boaz, to this helpmate of yours. It's a creative relationship where supernaturally, really, two people do become one as God has ordained it. Ultimate end of marriage. You ask, well, what is the ultimate end? Child rearing? What is it? Well, no, not exactly. The ultimate end of marriage is to reflect God's image, to reflect the glory and grace of His being. Of course, this means that marriage can never be an end in itself. As we said, don't set up marriage as an idol. It exists for a greater purpose than its own fulfillment. Now, take a look at our Shorter Catechism. First question, and I'm sure most of you know, what is the chief end of man? Man's chief end is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. You've got to look at marriage in conjunction with that. It's to glorify God. When two people are joined in the Lord, something of the glory of God should be seen. The Father's love for the Son, the Son's love for the Father. Of course, the Spirit's love for both should be seen in the marriage relationship. If you're contemplating marriage, the question is your goal there to glorify God. That should be your goal, young people, as you think about marriage, that this will be glorifying to God. That people would see Christ, see the Father, in your marriage relationship. as you go forward. And of course, for those of you already married, it's a question we need to ask ourselves. Right now in our marriages, are we glorifying God? Can others look at us and see that sacrificial love that we talked about is so important and key to marriage? They see that sacrificial love. They should. They're not. We need to take an inventory of ourselves. And for those of you in the early service, Rick emphasized the importance of prayer and the power of prayer and how we often give prayer short shrift. Use a good Catholic term there. But we shouldn't pray. Ask God to make your marriages stronger. That you might be seen as glorifying God in your marriages to others, that they would notice, hey, that's a Christian marriage. There's something different about that marriage than you see marriages in the world. That's what we should do. Let's pray together. Dear Lord, we thank you for this opportunity to contemplate the institution of marriage, Father. Lord, we thank you that we, the church, and marriage, we're the bride of Christ, Lord, and Lord, we certainly don't deserve that on our own merits, but we thank you for your grace and love to us that you would choose a people Lord, and that you would sovereignly call us, Lord, and that you would change our hearts. You would change our hearts of stone to hearts of flesh, Father. Lord, we just praise you and give you all the glory, Lord, and always pray for our young people here in the church and those that are contemplating marriage and seeking a spouse. Lord, we just ask that you would give them wisdom as they go about this. Lord, speak to them from the pages of your word as they prepare to be biblically grounded in this endeavor. We ask this in Christ's name. Amen.