Let's pray together. Father, we thank You that You build in times within the calendar for rest and recuperation both in a physical and in a spiritual sense. We thank you that for our nation one of those times is coming up. We pray for our many brothers and sisters who are traveling and are spending time away this elongated weekend with family and friends. We pray that you would providentially protect them and give them sweet fellowship one with another. We thank You that even as we gather here this evening, we sing and we rejoice of those truths that hold us tight and fast together, that unify us one with another. And so Father, even as we sing with one heart, we want to live out Your Word. It's going to demand we first know it. And so may this time of instruction help us to know what Your Word declares in order that we might then live out what it says. And I pray that what we hear, where it aligns with the truthfulness of what You have declared, we actually would do what we have already sung, so that the whole world may know that Your Son as Redeemer has come. That He dwells in the presence of His people. and how we long to see this world come to the knowledge of the salvation that is found in Jesus. May our lives give testimony to the power of His transforming Gospel. May tonight be one more stepping stone to that very reality. We ask this in Jesus' name, Amen. Take your Bible with me this evening, if you would, and let's go together to Ephesians 4. Ephesians 4, as we build a little bit on the thought that we dealt with this morning, the purpose for which God created the family. If you remember, we said this morning that the purpose of the family is to be a learning community. That God has designed for us as His people to be a theological community in which the love of God reigns supreme and the knowledge of who He is We also desire to be a very relational community inside the home. Where not only is love of God held up and strived for, but also so is love of neighbor. Where we give ourselves to care for one another. Where we serve and where we joyfully give of ourselves in self-sacrifice. But we also said if we hold those two realities in our home, if we hold them high and we aim for them, a supreme love of God and a love of neighbor that shows or proves the love we have for God, it will quickly help us recognize we are unable in and of ourselves to accomplish this mighty task. And that's why we need to be a redemptive community. It demands that we point our family to Jesus both continually as well as consistently. And so we recognize within the bounds of Scripture that we are commanded as the people of God to be this community. And where we fall short, we're called to repent, and we are called to continue in the things that God has said. And the reason we are to hold out this great and vast vision before our children, before the next generation, is because ultimately God has hardwired all of us to be worshipers. And if we do not in fact worship Him and love His people, we will end up worshiping something. And so I want to look, if we can this evening, primarily in Ephesians 5, though we'll be there in just a moment, to get some clear advice from the Word of God on how we can foster this type of a learning community in the home. Whether we're single, or whether we're empty nesters, or whether we're right in the throes of this thing. Each of us has word from the Lord this evening whereby we can grow and be admonished. And so let me be clear from the outset. I think simply telling you to be a theologically minded family who loves one another and hopes to present Jesus to each other, while idealistic and right, I have no notion within my mind that it's just naturally going to happen. That you're going to default to that setting. If your marriage is struggling, if your relationship with your children is struggling, just telling you to spend more time with one another and try and implement these things ultimately isn't going to be beneficial. It's probably going to bring more of a sandpaper to the nature of your relationship. But if in Ephesians 5, verse 18, where we're contrasted not being drunk with wine, but rather being controlled by the Spirit of God, is in fact what you and I model and seek to mimic within the relationships we have. Where our very words, our actions, our attitudes of heart are controlled by the Spirit of God. than exhorting one another to pursue a right and big vision of who God is, and to love Him supremely, and to serve and love our neighbor, the closest of which, of course, is our family. And ultimately, to exalt Jesus in all of this. It's not only possible, the probability rises. And as the probability rises, we notice our homes become much more glorifying to God. In fact, dealing with this exact passage of Scripture, it was Charles Spurgeon who said, if we get this right, if we get that we are to be controlled by the Spirit of God, seeking to walk in obedience to His commands, if in fact we live our lives controlled by the Spirit, that should angels be asked to come and stay with us inside that home, They won't find themselves outside their element, for that home is truly heaven on earth. And what a wordsmith he was. And what a picture that paints. But don't lose sight of the reality just because of the picture. That our homes truly can be a piece of heaven on earth to the extent that we walk in obedience to the commands of Ephesians 5 in verse 18. Before we get there, let's get a little bit of background this evening. The household commands of Ephesians 5, 22, all the way through Ephesians 6 and verse 9, where he talks about the wife's relation to the husband, and the husband's relationship to the wife, and the child's relationship to their parents, and even those employee-employer type manifestations. When he gives those exhortations, just before that, it's coming on the heels of Paul's teaching in the church where he instructs the believers how they are and how they are not supposed to live. In fact, if you notice in Ephesians 4 in verse 17, Paul says, This I say, therefore, in testifying the Lord, that ye henceforth not walk as other Gentiles walk in the vanity of their mind. So he encourages or exhorts them, do not walk as unbelievers do. This is unprofitable. This is unwise. This is worthless. But then in verses 22 through 24, Paul grabs the illustration of taking on and taking off clothing to describe the transformation he longs to see within these Ephesian believers' lives. He tells them, in this very illustration, certain attributes or certain character qualities they are to put off, and then he tells them certain attributes they are to put on. In verse 22, he tells them what articles of clothing, as it were, they're to put off. He says they're to put off that which is concerning the old man. Deceitful lusts. In v. 23, he says they are then to be renewed in the spirit of their mind. And they're to put on the new man, which is after God created in righteousness and true holiness. He then gets more specific in v. 25 when he says you are to put off lying and speak every man truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. To be angry and sin not. Let not the sun go down upon your wrath. neither give place to the devil, let him that stole steal no more, but rather let him labor, working with his hands the things which is good, that he may have to give to him that needs. Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth. But that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. He then says in v. 30 not to grieve the Spirit of God. In v. 31, he again says, put off bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and evil speaking. Let them all be put away with you, including malice. In v. 32, he tells them what they are to put on, which is kindness one toward another. tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God, for Christ's sake, hath forgiven you. He sums up all of this teaching, all of this instruction on what they are to put off and what they are to put on so that they are distinct from unbelievers in chapter 5 and verse 1 when he commands them to mimic or to imitate him by being his followers. Imitation, of course, is intentional. We learn a lot by imitating, by mimicking. Whether or not it's your profession or your hobby, perhaps you have a mentor, and it is he or she who instructed you in how you are to do what you've become skilled at. And intrinsically, perhaps without even recognizing the extent or the depth to which you have learned, you have begun to mimic, you have begun to imitate simply by being around and learning. Children are the same way, are they not? They learn to imitate. They learn to mimic us. If you want to know what you're like in many ways, the children in your home are the mirror of your life. And so Paul instructs the church to be followers or imitators of God. Putting off and putting on. But how do they know if they are truly walking as God has prescribed for them to walk? How do they know if they're getting right the idea of exalting God in all of life, and making much of Him, and seeking to serve one another? How do they know if they're pointing to Jesus the way they should? Well, I think verses 2-17 help us to recognize. Although not the direct purpose for which these verses were written, certainly a faithful application is what we spoke of this morning in light of verses 2-17 this evening. And so notice Paul's command is first and foremost that they are to walk in love. They're to walk in love. Verse 2 and following. He says very directly, as the followers of God in verse 1 now, walk in love. as Christ also has loved us, hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling savor. Now, remember, we said love of God and love of neighbor are the fullness or the completeness of the law of God. This is how we measure whether or not we're genuinely caring for one another. And he says here in verse number two that we're to walk in love and we're to do so as God has loved us. He's then going to define the antithesis, the opposite of said love. Look at verse 3. fornication, uncleanness, covetousness, that it not be named once among you as become saints, either filthiness, or foolish talking, or jesting, which are all convenient, but rather the giving of things. For this you know, no whoremonger, or unclean person, or covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. Let no man deceive you with vain words, for because of these things come the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience. Be not ye therefore partakers with them, Do you notice here that in a list form, Paul rebukes every single form of counterfeit love? Every kind. Whether it's fornication or uncleanness. Even if it's covetousness. The corruption of genuine love as demonstrated in Christ is to be denounced. And so he says, if you're to have a home where Christ is continually exalted, and where your neighbor is pursued in love and the self-sacrificial kind of Christ, then all forms of uncontrolled appetites, the exact opposite of Ephesians 5.18, where we are to be controlled by the Spirit of God. These unbridled, lustful passions are to be put away in order that you might, by the glory of God, live our life in your home, where both before God and before your children, before your spouse, before all who see, you demonstrate a genuine love that mimics the love of Christ. And so I think it would behoove us this evening to ask fathers, mothers, Children, does the love that Christ demands of us, does the love that is exalted in Scripture, does that manifest itself in our home? Where it doesn't, doesn't it make sense that that type of self-sacrificial love, that type of love that is not convenient, that says, you over me, is prayed for repetitively in your home, is talked about at the breakfast table and the dinner table, Doesn't it make sense that you grab your spouse's hand and say, we are not loving sacrificially. We are not teaching and instilling that our children would denounce all forms of counterfeit love and follow the love that Jesus illustrates for us. We are a selfish lot and it ought not be. We're living a life of uncontrolled appetites and desires that is completely opposite of a life that is marked by the Spirit of God, that is in control of itself. We are not serving. We are looking to be served. Does your family walk in love? Because if it doesn't, I assure you this, we can have all the conversations we want about trying to make Jesus supreme when it comes to exalting the nature and character of God. And we can talk all we want about the second commandment being likened to the first and loving our neighbor as ourself. But if we do not understand what it means to follow God in His love, this willing desire to sacrifice one's rights, one's preferences, that love might be fully displayed to another, will know nothing of the type of community He tells us we're to be fostering within the home. But in verses 8 and 14, He tells us we're not just to walk in love toward one another, He tells us we're to walk in light. Notice verse 8, if you would. For you were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light, and the Lord walketh as children of light. For the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness, righteousness, and truth. proving what is acceptable unto the Lord. Have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them. For it is a shame even to speak of those things which are done of them in secret. But all things that are reproved are made manifest by the light. For whatsoever doth make manifest is light. Wherefore he saith, Awake thou that sleepest, arise from the dead, and Christ shall give thee light. He says first in verses 2-7 you're to walk in love, but according to verses 8-14 he's very clear when he says you and I are to walk in light. He tells us in verses 9 and following that this light he speaks of is a walk that is lived out in goodness and righteousness. A walk of truth that has a shunning to anything that is evil. To not fellowship with works of darkness, to not even have them named amongst us. but rather we are to walk in holiness and righteousness, that we are to stay in the light of God's truth and remain where the path is well lighted and bright. Let me help you. And I think this will be helpful. Do you want to know in a very practical way why so many of the children we mentioned in this morning's service depart the faith? They abandon the home by the age of 29? That those who came weekly to services leave Christ's church never to come back? Do you know why that is? Because parents who bring them on Sunday for worship appear holy on that day, but they walk in darkness throughout the week. That's not categorically true in every case. But I don't think I'll ever cease to be amazed at the amount of so-called darkness that as Christians we pretend is light, and we are acceptable with, or we are pleased with in our homes. It seems a little off-putting, in one sense, to exalt the nature and character of God in holiness and justice and righteousness and purity, while on the other side of things, going home and living a life that is in complete opposition to that. One of the reasons why our children, perhaps, run from Christ, want nothing to do with Him, is because holiness is perceived as austere. It's perceived as stern and no fun. It's perceived as a life of morality, a life of rules and legislation, and absolute ugliness. It's not painted as beautiful at all. because Monday through Friday we don't have to say anything. The life of darkness we love and hold to that reveals the true idolatry of our heart, that shows the real lordship over our life. Those loves and those feasting desires, those uncontrolled appetites own us. And listen, I'm not even talking about the baser realities of our culture. I'm just talking the inability to control one's television consumption. I'm just talking about the reality that we will allow unfiltered into our homes a vast multitude of things without any consideration for worldview and what it means that we aren't thinking about what our children need to be thinking about. There's a reason why children depart the faith. And the answer isn't throw out the TV. Though in some cases it may be. The answer is that in all of the good gifts of God, technological, agricultural, physical recreation, and otherwise, we learn to use them walking in light and not in darkness. So ask yourselves, parents, I mean, even as the Spirit of God kindly convicts you in this moment, what areas is it seemingly hypocritical for you to try and walk speaking about this great theological community and this great relational community where we love God supremely and we seek to love neighbor and we just feel a little bit duplicitous about it. We feel a little bit hypocritical about it because we know we're actually walking in darkness. What we're asking you to do by God's grace and His enabling power is not going to be accomplished just by saying a few things. We're talking about a lifestyle in which you lovingly give yourself to the sake of your spouse. You lovingly give yourself for the sake of your parents, teenager, where you serve them because you delight to walk in obedience to Christ. where you do not rather hold tight the things that shouldn't even be spoken of in public, but that you actually walk in light as Christ is in the light. But if you would, notice one more this evening. He tells us if we're to have the community that we're speaking of this morning, we need to walk in love and we need to walk in light. But in verses 15 through 17, I don't think it gets more Clear, but also more practical than v. 15-17 where He commands them, walk in wisdom. See then that you walk circumspectly or precisely, accurately. He says walk that way and not as fools, but as wise. So, v. 2, you walk in love. V. 8, you walk in light. V. 15, you walk as wise. You walk in wisdom. The way you do that, according to verses 16 and 17, is by redeeming the time because the days are evil. Therefore, be ye not unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is. Verse 15 tells us, walk circumspectly. I think you and I must recognize the peculiar as well as the specific dangers of the times in which we live. And rather than sleepwalking and daydreaming through this life God has entrusted to us, we must learn to apply ourselves diligently to understand what God's will is. When it comes to these ideas of the theological relational and redemptive community, in verse 16, He commands us to redeem the time. to simply be a good steward of what is entrusted to us. You know, I routinely think this. I was even, just this evening, my daughter whispered right before the service, can I come and sit with you? I was sitting there as we're singing and holding her hand and recognizing, goodnight, this October she turns 11. We just moved here 10 years ago, and she was six months old. And this girl is now 11. Not yet, and not till October, but coming up very soon. And you have heard the story before, and Monty crushed my every dream and illustration by throwing marbles one graduation over this whole stage, for those of you who are here. What we have in our home, these jars that we set up where we take a marble out each month because I counted 18 times 12 and did the math, and each month is represented by a marble, just to remind myself, this is the amount of time I get with these children, and when they're gone, they're gone. It doesn't mean they're not a part of our lives, but that formative disciple instruction time, it's just gone. They're now their own. And one of the things that I think I often forget, and if we're not careful, you forget, for those of us who are presently in the throes, or we're getting ready to get in the throes of that, through all of the daily struggles of, oh, this is frustrating, I wish they'd just obey, why can't they do what they're told, and all of that, we only get them so long. And we only have those so many years to teach them the glory of the greatness of our God. It's only so long. And then, boom, like a vapor, those moments are gone. And so while it applies to all aspects of life, certainly when it comes to having the home that he is speaking of, we must redeem the time. So be present, Dad. Be present, Mom. Know the time in which you live and understand that it is being calculated before your eyes. Schedule the time. Have both formal and informal opportunities to speak life and truth into your children, lest you look up one day and go, goodnight! They're 11. They're 15. They're 18. They're 21. And we haven't yet begun to fight for holiness. He says in verse 17, don't be unwise. But by contrast, what would wisdom say? Discern what the will of the Lord is. If you're to be the home that God entrusts you to be, even demands you to be. Church, listen, I say this lovingly, I really do, but let's please be done with your and my concepts of what we think is best. Can we simply go to the word of God and say, this is what he says, let's do that. If you really want your children to have a posterity once you die, if you really want them to have a legacy of faithfulness, if you really want to pass that Psalm 145 and that Psalm 78, greatness of God from one generation to the next, can we stop passing on man-made legislation from one generation to the next and tagging God's name on it, thinking he has promised to bless it when he hasn't? And can we simply discern from Scripture what God's will is and lead them to it so they can find the joy and satisfaction of knowing Him? He says, know what the will of the Lord is. That's wisdom. And so listen, some of us, we're young and we're figuring it out. Others of us are old. We're old and we're figuring it out. But can we just stop the arrogance? Can we stop the posturing that says we've got this all together? Can we just admit we need one another? And oftentimes we need one another because we can't figure this out on our own, and we don't have to, because God in kindness has given us each other, not only to pray, but to walk with one another, in order that we might discern what the will of the Lord actually is. And when we know it, and we're convinced of it from God's Word, can we lead our children to it? We walk them in it. When I know him more faithfully. Verse 18, and we're done. Here's what he says. and be not drunk with wine, wearing as excess, but be filled with the Spirit." So obviously in verse 18, you see the clear contrast. One is clearly sinful. The other is righteous. He says that at no point in the Christian life is it okay for the believer to be drunk. In fact, it is explicitly noted to be sin because the contrast is that wherein that is wrong, you are to be controlled by the Spirit of God. If you're really to walk in love and to walk in light and walk in wisdom, if you're really going to do that, If you're really going to have this redemptive community where Jesus is constantly pointed to, where the gospel is made clear, both in discipline and formal and informal instruction, where God is seen as the supreme love, and not sports, and not other hobbies, and not your job, but God reigns supreme in your home. If it's really going to be that love of neighbor exhibits itself when your teenage children don't bicker and fight, but rather love and enjoy one another. If that's really going to happen, it's only going to happen in so much as we grasp what v. 18 commands of us. That we be controlled, filled, by the Spirit of God. The tense of the word filled is present. While you might not be a grammarian, let me share with you why that's important. Present tense denotes continual action. And so here's what that means. When he says be filled with Spirit of God, he doesn't say that at this one moment you get controlled and then you're good. but rather you and I live a life of perpetual recognition, the need to be controlled by the Spirit of God in our words, in our actions, in our thoughts. If we're really going to point to Jesus, if we're really going to exalt God, then He must be controlling my life at all points so that in a moment's notice, when that perfect scenario comes up, I can lead my spouse, I can lead my friends, I can lead my children, I can lead my grandchildren into what God is doing in this moment because I'm not trying to wing this thing on my own. I am deeply committed to be controlled by the Spirit of God. And let me take this one step further again. Being controlled by the Spirit of God is not some mystical, supernaturally scary thing where the Spirit of God just whispers sweet nothings in your ear. The Spirit of God isn't your personal assistant where he treats you differently than he treats everybody else. The Spirit of God works in conjunction with the Word of God. Because when the Spirit of God moves, he is speaking as one part of the triune God. And what he speaks is fully authoritative. And so the Spirit of God is never going to contradict the Word of God, because the Word of God comes from the Spirit of God. So how is the Spirit of God going to work and help to control you? By bringing to memory the very words He has given you. And not the words He's given you, again, personally, but the ones He's given you corporately from Genesis to Revelation. I can't tell you the amount of times someone has told me, I just know this has to be what God wants for me. I feel like this is exactly what the Spirit of God is telling me. And every time, I love when they want to just look and say, all you have to do is show me where God is telling you that from scripture, and I'll jump right in with you. But unless you can actually take your thoughts about spiritual movement and connect them to the word of God, I think it's just what you wanna do when you're putting Jesus's name on it. And you need to recognize that. Because this'll hurt, but it'll help too. For those of us who are older, including myself in that bunch, our children see right through that stuff. They just do. This is what God wants us to do, but we can't explain why God wants us to do it. We just say it, but there's no scripture attached to it. It's just this is what it means to be controlled by the Spirit, but there's nothing from the Word that says this is how we're to be controlled. I don't know whose authority you think you're operating on, but it's not God's. God's authority is clear. He isn't sitting up there in heaven seeking to be ambiguous. He's created all things and given us his self-revelation that we might know him. So let his spirit guide you by his word. And as he does, here's the beauty. It leads you to an awe-inspiring vision of his greatness. And the Spirit controlling you will lead you to lovingly sacrifice your desires and preferences for the sake of one another. And it is the Spirit of God who will perpetually drive you to realize you are insufficient of yourself. But that's why Jesus came. He came not just to be your A-list punch-up, but rather Jesus came to completely transform you that you might, with the help of his spirit, obey commands that you never had a shot in the world of obeying before Jesus came into your life. But the good news is, Christian, that because Jesus rules and reigns in your life, because he is sovereign over all, you have been gifted, you have been granted not only the capacity, but you've been granted the command to be controlled by him. That's how the home begins to shape, so that wives can walk in joyful submission, and husbands in sacrificial love, and children in obedience, and parents nurturing and admonishing. It all swings on the pivot of our being controlled by the Spirit of God. May He do in us, and may we willingly allow what only He can give. In verses 19-21, the Scripture tells us, what are the evidences? Verse 19, we'll be joyful. Verse 20, we'll be thankful. Verse 21, we'll be submissive. So if you want to know if you're really controlled by the Spirit, you'd be honest. Don't lie to yourself tonight. Nobody else is being deceived. Maybe you are, but nobody else is. Are you joyful? Are you thankful? Are you submissive? Because those are the characteristics of one who's controlled by the Spirit of God. Let's pray together. Help us, Father. We certainly cannot on our own. That's why we affirm we need you. Oh, we need you. The waves are crashing when all is going swell. We recognize and affirm this evening the depths of our need for you. So lead us in your truth that as your people, we might have the homes you want us to because we are walking in love. We are walking in goodness and righteousness as we walk in light. and we are walking in wisdom, recognizing the time that is set before us, the need to be controlled by your spirit, and we are walking in obedience to those realities. Where we are not, expose us to our sin. Expose the lack of love, the lack of true goodness and righteousness in the home. Expose in us the lack of wisdom. the lack of control, the lack of thankfulness and joyfulness, the lack of true biblical submission. This we pray in Jesus' name. Amen.