I just got really old tonight. Oh no, you don't even know. You don't have a clue. That is the class of 2037. I will be 80 years old. That's crazy. Man, that's crazy. I hope they don't graduate before a long time. Wow, that is amazing. By the way, you did see the engineer in the group, right? I'm thankful for Lagos. That was pretty good. All right, take your Bibles and turn to the very last verse of the Old Testament. The very last verse of the Old Testament. Brother Larry, I'm getting so old. Can you bring me my glasses? Okay, if it's number one, I need them. Number two, I can't go down again and come back up, so. Thank you, Brother Larry. Now our text is actually going to be in Proverbs 16 but just before we get there I want to read the last verse of the Old Testament. And before we do that let me mention a few things. I am a big Christian education person. I believe that every church that can ought to have a Christian school with it. I would, when I left Pensacola a lot of people said Brother Scheller, now that you've been with all that Christian education, when you get a church, you're not gonna have a school, are you? I said, I won't take a school, I won't take a church unless it has a school. I so believe in Christian education and how important it is, as Brother Larry mentioned, to build that biblical worldview. And let me just give you a little philosophy about children, young people, and about Christian education. What we wanna do in those early years, perfect example tonight, is give an enormous amount of truth facts. Okay, so a five-year-old child doesn't need a lot of critical thinking. Now that is contrary to man-centered education today. that these children need to explore, and they need to have adventure, and they need to critically think. You can't critically think until you have truth. And then once you establish the truth in a child, then they can take those truths and reason with the truth. A child left to themselves will bring their parents to bring their mother to shame. Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child. So what you've got to do in Christian education, especially in these early years, is to build rote memory of just truths so that they have those, all those songs that they learn, the addition, All of those things, they're building the truth and the reality that now, later in their years, they're gonna be able to formulate what to do with that truth. So, very, very important. And then to be in an environment that teaches them right and wrong. Okay, so, if you would have gone, my oldest son is Ben, he's 42 years old. And if you would have gone up to Ben when he was five years old, and you were to ask Ben, hey Ben, Is smoking cigarettes bad? I'll tell you what my five-year-old boy would have said. Oh, smoking cigarettes are bad, bad. Smoking cigarettes, bad, no good. Ben, why is smoking cigarettes bad? Because my daddy says they're bad. That is a great answer. That's a fabulous answer. Now, if you go up to Ben at 15, And you ask him, hey, Ben, is cigarette smoking bad? Ha, it's bad. You don't be smoking cigarettes, but it's bad. Why? Because my dad says so. Well, let me tell you, by 25, he'll be smoking. So there is some point it's got to become theirs. But they've got to have their conscience built, train up a child in the way that he should go. What are you training up? Well, the child. You're training up the conscience of the child, the courtroom of the child, to know what is right and to know what is wrong. and they get that conscience built in Christian education at home and in a good church. These things are so pivotal for them later in life. Now tonight, the message is battling for our children's hearts. You know, we see these little kids up here, man, that was just as cute as it gets. And by the way, it's been a long time since I've been that close to that many kindergartners and being able to see the kindergarten graduation from up close like that. And just to see their faces, by the way, their personality, even a child is known by their doings. You can see their personalities coming out already just up here in the way that they said their verses and the way that they sang and all of those things. But there's a battle for your children, and you need to understand that we're fighting for these kids that were up here, and it will be a battle. I would like to ask real quickly, I recognize when they were announced that they stood, the parents stood, but if you're a parent, a grandparent, or a sibling, of one of these graduates, would you stand? A parent, a grandparent, or a sibling of one of these children. Let's give all of them a hand, because they're going. And let me tell all of you that are standing, you're in a battle for the hearts of those children. And we're gonna do everything we can at Lancaster Baptist Church to come along and help all of you, but there's a battle going on for the hearts of your children. Thank you, you may be seated. Look at this last verse of the Old Testament. Malachi 4.6, and he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children and the heart of the children to their fathers. lest I come and smite the earth with a curse." By the way, don't you find it interesting that the very last word of the Old Testament under the law is the word curse? I thought that was interesting. But what a great statement. And He shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children. and the heart of the children to the fathers." Now our text tonight is found in Proverbs 16.16. This verse is very dear to me. Tonight I'm going to give you a definition that I believe kept me in ministry during pivotal years in my life as I started out as a youth pastor. And I'm gonna give you a definition tonight that extremely helped me. And this verse was the verse that goes with that definition. And Proverbs 16, and I want you to look at verse number six, if you would. Proverbs 16 and verse number six, the Bible says, By mercy and truth, iniquity is purged. Wow, that is so powerful and we're going to see that tonight. And by the fear of the Lord, Men depart from evil. But I want you to see, by the way, through the scriptures, there is a great marriage. And that marriage is between mercy and truth. They're never conflicting. They never have to be reconciled. They are a great couple. Whenever you put mercy and truth together, you have an incredibly powerful couple. And by mercy and truth, iniquity me tell you a little bit about this word iniquity. It does have the idea of perversion and twisted, evil, wicked. But the idea is rebellion. That they have taken something and they have twisted it. They have perverted it. And now they believe it. How do you get rebellion out of an individual? Doesn't matter if it's an adult or a six year old. How do you get rebellion out of them? Well the Bible says, by mercy and truth, iniquity. This type of rebellion is purged. So it can be done. Tonight we're going to show you a little bit how to battle for our children's hearts. Let's go to the Lord in prayer. Father, thank you for Lancaster Baptist Church. Thank you for the pastor here that has a burden and a great passion for the next generation. Lord, I thank you that Lancaster Baptist School exists. And Lord, I know there may be people here tonight that do not go to this church, and maybe they even have some children in the school. Lord, may they realize how important it is to have a team that comes alongside to help battle for their children. Lord, I think all these grandparents, and tonight, may these grandparents come into battle with mom and dad, and just really be an encouragement to be a help to them. Lord, I thank you for Pastor and Mrs. Chappell. May they have a safe journey coming home. I pray that they would have been very encouraged by the weekend being with one that they have mentored and trained. It's gotta be a great weekend for them. I pray he'll come back refreshed. But tonight, I do pray for the families here. that the hearts of the fathers and the mothers would be turned towards their children, and the hearts of the children would be turned towards their parents, and that, Lord, excuse me, Father, that we would battle for the next generation. And, you know, Lord, I'm glad we're on the winning side. I'm glad we have the Holy Spirit, and I'm so thankful for the Word of God. And oh Lord, we could spend the whole night talking about how evil this world is and what the world these young people are gonna grow up in. But no, Lord. May we give them and equip them on how they can see the next generation live for you and be a godly seed in maybe a wicked world. But God, they can be... Lord, may these parents not have as a goal only to raise some good kids. May every mom and dad and every grandparent have as their goal to see a godly seed. And tonight may we equip them so that that godly seed would exist. And Lord, we pray these things in the one name who has given us the victory, in the name of Jesus Christ, we pray. And God's children said, Amen. Battling for our children's heart. I want to answer four questions tonight. Question number one is, how do you define rebellion? Now I said already in my introduction that when I heard this definition, this definition probably helped keep me in ministry. The definition that I have used for the last over, I've been in ministry for 47 years, for probably the last 43 years of my ministry, this is my definition of rebellion. Rebellion is believing a lie. Rebellion is believing a lie. Whenever an individual believes a lie and believes it's true, they will rebel. If they believe a lie about themselves, they will rebel. There's no greater illustration to this than Lucifer, the son of mourning, Satan himself. In Isaiah chapter 14, verses 12 through 14, five times in Isaiah 14, 12 through 15, Lucifer, Satan says, I will exalt myself. I will be like the Most High. I will. And when he believed the lie about himself, he rebelled against God. And when a person believes a lie, God made a mistake, God did whatever, and I'm not, or I think I'm this, or whatever it might be. When you believe a lie about yourself, you will rebel. Number two, when you believe a lie, about others, and it's specifically in the area of authority. When you believe that authority is your enemy, You will rebel. I'm going to tell you right now, I trusted the Lord Jesus Christ at 12 years of age. And I know that that's when I got saved, but I did not live for the Lord in my teen years. And when I was away from God, I was rebellious. My mom and dad got a divorce. I'm not blaming that on them, but there were things I'm going to talk about tonight that maybe they failed as parents or whatever. And I believe lies. and I believed lies about authority. Wherever I was, I found out who the authority figure was in that situation, and I knew that that was my enemy. When that changed, when I went to Bible college, my life changed. When I began to realize that authority was there for my protection, not against me as an enemy. When you believe a lie about yourself, about others, but here's, I'll tell you, when you believe a lie about God, When you begin to create your own God and you think God is a certain way and you believe that lie about God, my friend, you will rebel and you will be rebellious. Number one, how do you define rebellion? Believing a lie. Now take your Bibles, and let me give you a great story on this, and turn to 1 Samuel chapter 15. 1 Samuel chapter 15. I use this a lot with youth workers and it's just such an incredible passage about the very first king of Israel, Saul. Saul was given a very clear command through Samuel about what was to happen. In 1 Samuel chapter 15, Samuel comes to Saul and he gives him the command. It says in verse 3, now go and smite Amalek and utterly Destroy all. Would all of you together say with me the command, the three words, would you all say it together? Now go and smite Amalek and everyone together. I'm not trying to be funny or humorous. Is there anybody in this room tonight who would raise their hand and say, I do not understand what utterly destroy all means? I have no idea what that means. Does everyone understand? Utterly destroy all. Do you think the first king of Israel understood that? Sure he did. Utterly destroy all. Okay? that they have, and spare not them, but slay both man and woman, infant, suckling, ox, and sheep, and camel, and ass." And by the way, you've got to see this. Just before you start thinking that the God of the Old Testament is different than the God of the New Testament, and it's like, what kind of God is this? Let me tell you something. God waited 400 years for the Malachites to repent. He gave the Malachites 400 years. They used to go down and they did sniper work on the people of Israel. And they killed the children, the elderly, and the sick. And the Malachites were absolutely terrible to the people of Israel. God was long-suffering to them for 400 years. I think that's a very gracious God. And the God of the Old Testament is the God of the New Testament. And when I read this, you know, a lot of times you go like, well, man, what kind of God is this? A God of long suffering that waited 400 years, they didn't do it. So God said, that's it. The Malachites now will be judged and utterly destroy all. All right, down to verse nine. But Saul and the people, whoa, spared a gang. and the best of the sheep, and of the oxen, and of the phantoms, and the lambs, and all that was good, and would not utterly destroy them. Okay, it's clear they didn't obey the command. But if you have never seen what I'm about to read to you, this can be absolutely life-changing. Look at verse 13. So Samuel came to Saul. And Saul said unto him, now watch this, blessed be thou of the Lord. I have performed the commandment of the Lord. If you're at Lancaster Baptist Church tonight in the worship center, everyone together, is that true or false? False. That was false. That's not true. Well, yeah, and Saul knows that. Saul just lied to Samuel. Oh, he did just lie. But he believed he had performed the commandment. Well, Brother Shelley, it doesn't say that. Yes, it does. Keep looking. Look over at verse 20. And Saul said unto Samuel, yea, I have obeyed the voice of the Lord, and have gone the way which the Lord sent me, and have brought Agag the king of Amalek, and have utterly destroyed the Malachites. He is absolutely convinced that he did what God told him to do. No, he didn't. No, he didn't. He believed, everyone together, he believed he believed a lie that he created himself. Wow. Look at verse 22. And Samuel said, hath the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as in obeying the voice of the Lord? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams. Now look at this verse. For rebellion, believing a lie, is as the sin of witchcraft. When you begin to believe a lie, you are opening the door to allow Satan to build a stronghold and work in your life. For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. Because thou hast rejected the word of the Lord, he hath also rejected thee from being king." How do you define rebellion? Rebellion, everyone together, what is rebellion? You said that that definition kept you in ministry? Oh yeah. Because for the longest period of time, those first few years as a youth pastor, man, I gave those life, my life to those young people. I was all in. I prepared, I preached, I did. And there were kids that hated me. And I thought to myself, what am I doing wrong? What am I, maybe I'm not a good youth pastor. Maybe I'm not should be in ministry. Maybe this isn't the deal for me. I don't know. And when I began to understand, and when I heard this definition, I went, you know what? Jim, the problem's not with you. And you can never be the solution if you think you're the problem. I said, you know what? They believe a lie. So now we're going to find out tonight how to help them, by mercy and truth, how to purge that lie. But when I began to realize, hey Jim, don't take this personal. Boy, I told my, I was over the dorm suits for, I don't know, five, six years or whatever it was. And I would tell the dorm students, listen, you may start with some of these college students, and through the course of the year, you feel like they turned against you. And you go like, man, what am I doing wrong? Am I failing as a dorm? No. Everyone together, they believe a lie. And because they believe a lie, they think you're the enemy. You're not doing anything. And that helped me tremendously in ministry, to understand Tim. don't get so personally attacked by a teenager who thinks you're terrible or thinks the youth activity was terrible or thinks your preaching isn't interesting at all or whatever. No, Jim, the deal is that young person believes a lie and that's what you've got to work on. Now listen to me, moms and dads, you need to get this. Because sometimes that little one, that little five-year-old who just thinks you're the hero of all things and you're the great, you have their hearts right now, but you're gonna have to battle for those hearts because they're gonna start believing things that you aren't as great and you aren't the one. And when that begins to happen, it isn't, oh, maybe I've failed as a parent. No, they believe a lie. In order to help them, you gotta understand, oh, you do have to make sure you're right, and I got a whole list of things I'm gonna say in just a minute, but it is imperative for you to understand and know, no, no, the problem is that young person believes a lie, that child believes a lie, and I gotta help them through that. Number two, how do you define rebellion? Rebellion is believing a lie. Number two, Brother Schiller, why do children begin to believe lies? They're in a good church, they're in a good home, we love them. Why do children begin to believe lies? Well, I've got eight things, we're gonna go through them quick, so get ready. I encourage you to write them down, because as you look back over and talk to your spouse about them and the grandparents and everyone, you might come up with some great things to really help you battle for your children's heart. Why do children begin to believe lies? Number one, their Adamic nature. Their Adamic nature will take them away from truth. Proverbs 22, 15, foolishness is bound, it's wrapped, it's entangled, it's twisted inside the heart of a child. Now, they are responsible for what they choose to believe. I'm not blaming. Now, in just a moment, I'm going to mention some things that my mom and dad didn't do real well with. But I'm going to tell you this. I stand at the judgment seat, not because the way my parents did, but the choices that I made. I choose to believe what I want to believe. It isn't the parents' fault. However, parents give wood, give logs, for children to burn on the fire of the rebellion. And there's things that we do. They are, it is their Adamic nature and at the judgment seat of Christ they're not going to be able to point to a parent or a teacher or a youth pastor and say, I was rebellious because of you. That isn't going to work. They chose to believe their lies. However, There are things that we do that stokes the fire for that rebellion to grow. Let me give you some of them. So number one, they're a damaged nature, and that is why children begin to believe lies. And that little child, that little kindergartner, listen, if you don't battle for their hearts, you're gonna lose. No matter how cute that little child was tonight on the steps, if you don't battle for that child's heart, you're gonna lose that child because of their damaged nature. But number two, when promises are not kept. when promises are not kept. You promise your children things and then you don't come through with what you promised. Boy, seeds of bitterness are gonna grow in that child's heart. And yeah, mom, dad says this, but they don't do this. They promised me this and they can't do that. I wanna give you a word that helped a lot, especially if you're in ministry and you're in a ministry like Lancaster Baptist, West Coast Baptist College. I know my three boys, if we brought my three boys up here right now and you asked them, Did your father ever break promises with you? All three of them would start laughing. And they go like, which week are you talking about? Oh yeah. I'm the kind of guy that likes to promise a lot too. You know, I've got to go, oh, I'll do this for you. Oh, listen, Luke, we're going to do this this week. You know, I broke a ton of promises. I did. You say, were your kids rebellious? Hey, by the way, they struggled with some things. We'll talk about that tonight. They struggled with some things, but overall, no. And I'm gonna tell you why, I learned a really cool word, and that word is compensation. And if you're in full-time ministry, or you're in a job, or you're in the military, or whatever, that has a lot of demands, and there's times that because of your ministry, your job, whatever, your business, you own a business, whatever it is, there's times that you might have promised your children things you can't do. So you have to learn how to compensate. And I do think that all three of my sons, I know this because I've asked them, all three of my sons would say, you know what, dad, you broke a lot of promises with us. But one thing we knew you would always do, you would always compensate for it. If you, if you said, if you said, Hey, I won't be able to do this. You would compensate by doing this for us or something else with that. And I think that is very, very important because if you break promises with children, they're going to start believing lies about you. Number three. When authority refuses to admit that they're wrong. This is huge. Mom, dad, grandparents, you said something, attitude was wrong, you did something, it wasn't right. You got to go to your child. And you got, do not say, hey, listen, if I said something yesterday, I just want to tell you, I'm sorry. Don't you ever do that with your child. Your child was hurt by something and you don't even know what it is. And you said, if you go to your child and you say, hey, Luke, I asked you to forgive me for what I said yesterday. It wasn't the right attitude. Luke, you didn't do what I asked you to do, but the way that I responded to you was wrong. And I ask you to forgive me for my spirit and my voice. Dad, I forgive you. And I gotta tell you, you gotta have this. You got to admit to your children when you do wrong. Teachers, there'll be times you get the wrong student. There'll be times you did things. I'll tell you, there were times as Dean of Students, there was times as Vice President, there were times as Student Activities Director, there were times as pastors. Four times, I had to stand in front of my congregation and ask for forgiveness for an attitude or something that I said that was improper, inappropriate, and I had to, and you know what? I didn't lose church members over that. I gained loyalty from that. And I want to tell you, you've got to go to your children sometimes. And you've got to admit, hey, I just want you to know, I ask you to forgive me. I did something. I haven't been doing something. Whatever it is, will you forgive me? And you know what? Never will you have a child not forgive you. They're there. You just need to admit that you're wrong. If you don't, you're giving them wood to burn on the fires of rebellion. Number four, when authority is too permissive or too strict. You absolutely can be too permissive with your child. And that's a sign of rejection. You kind of let your child do whatever they want to do. And you never rein them in. You're breeding rebellion in their heart down the road. Some of you are too strict. And you're just so tight and so rigid about everything. There's never an exception in the home. There's never a change. And that strictness breaks the spirit of that child. You can't, you got to be careful with authority to become too permissive or too strict. Number five, when authority, I think this is, I got about one more that's really big. When authority is impatient with the child, I think this is the idea of provoke not a child to wrath. When you become impatient with your child, hey, how many times do I have to tell you? Whoa. You are giving them kerosene to put on the fire of their rebellion. Yeah, I know. You could care less. You just want me to perform. You could care less. When authority is impatient with the child, it will provoke them to rebellion. Number six, when authority is inconsistent with standards, when authority is inconsistent with standards, You pick favorites. Some days you have a standard with your children, other days you don't have that same standard, you let them get by with it. You don't need a lot of rules around the home, but whatever you have, you need to be consistent whatever you're gonna decide in your home. Inconsistent standards will breed rebellion. By the way, it'll do it in a church, it'll do it in a school, and it'll do it in a home and a family. Be consistent. By the way, grandparents, Make sure that the standards that you have with your grandchildren are the same that your children have with their children. You know, they come over to your house and they can do things that they cannot do. That is not good grandparenting. That would be the place to have an amen, but that's okay. When authority is inconsistent with standards, number seven. when there is not harmony between authority figures. I think this was a big deal with me. Mom and dad get a divorce at 14 and just a really bad marriage situation. And I think that really, that harmony between authority figures is so important for a child under that. Now, if you're a single parent or whatever, it's still important to be in agreement and be on the same page with all your authority figures. One of the things I love about West Coast Baptist College is the relationship between the faculty and staff with each other and with the administration. There's a great relationship between the faculty, staff, and administration. And I think that creates an environment for the students to, no student would ever say, well, I think one of the greatest things I like about West Coast Baptist College is that faculty and administration get along with each other. Okay, no one would ever say that. But I'm going to tell you, that produces an incredibly sweet spirit and atmosphere. Mom and dad, your relationship with each other is the most important parenting relationship that there is. And to be in harmony, that doesn't mean you have to agree. But actually, that's where the harmony even comes out even better. Chances are God put together a couple that are not the same. Not only because of your gender, but because of your personality. Because of the spiritual gifts God's given you. You tend to look at things very differently. That's not a negative. That's a positive. If we can get those two views that are very different in harmony, whoa, that is so good for the child. When there is not harmony between authority figures, you're letting them believe the lies. Then number eight, when there are wrong priorities from leadership, this is very important. If you begin to make possessions and plans a greater priority than your children, there will be problems. And by the way, if you make your family your priority instead of Christ, there will be problems. You've got to make sure that you have the right priorities amongst leadership, that these are the big rocks in the jar, and your child will come alongside of that. So why do children begin to believe lies? Well, they're Adamic nature, but then these other seven things will add to them believing lies. Okay. Brother Shetler, if rebellion is believing a lie, What are the signs of rebellion? How do you know if you have a rebellious child or not? A child, I have a seven-year-old child, Brother Sheldon. Can they believe lies? They absolutely can. And I'm struggling with this 10-year-old right now in our home. What are the signs that they're believing a lie? Number one, little communication. They used to talk to you all the time. They wanted to be in your lap. They wanted to always be around you. They wanted to know everything that you had to say. Now they don't want to communicate with you at all. You say, well, that's a teenager. That's what teenagers do. No, no. That is not true. I believe the greatest conversations I ever had with my three boys were when they were teens. You want to make sure that that communication is always open. And when you begin to see your child not want to communicate with you, I'm telling you, they believe a lie. Because when they believe the lie that you're against them, they don't want to talk to you. I remember one, this is just with teenagers, I'll never forget this. I had just become a youth pastor, and one of the very first activities I did was I took a bunch of junior hires to a putt-putt golf course. And I don't know, maybe I'd been there for a year, it doesn't matter. But I get the bus there at like 6.15, the activity starts at 7. And I pull the bus around and there's Derek. Derek's an eighth grader. And he was just, he was already there. I think he was just left over from school. I don't think his parents ever picked him up. So Derek was there and I'll never forget this as long as I live. I opened the door to the bus and Derek gets on the bus. It's just me and Derek. I'm thinking, hey, a little good time with this eighth grader, kind of build them up, you know, start mentoring them. Derek gets on the bus, everyone together. Where does Derek sit? You guys know Derek? Derek gets on the bus. And some of you kind of know Brother Shetlar, so you know how this felt, you know, the kind of person I am. Derek gets on the bus, and he goes all the way to the back. And I'm looking at the rear view mirror at Derek in the back row. Wow. I don't know. I said, hey, hey, Derek, you ever been to this putt-putt golf course? Hey, do you think Nathan and John are gonna come tonight? How was your day? What's wrong with me? Nothing. Derek believes a lie. And he does not wanna communicate to me, not because I'm a bad youth pastor, not because I'm a bad authority, because Derek believes a lie. Now, I can either say, you know what? I'm opening up the back door, hope you fall out. I'm gonna give him the shortest little putter. Or Derek can be on my team. I'm gonna get to this in a minute. Derek can be my partner tonight with a couple of his buddies, and we're gonna beat everybody in putt-putt golf. And we're gonna do this, or we're gonna lose to everybody, but we're gonna have a blessed time in the world. You know, you gotta decide. That little communication, decide. Number two, lousy friends. Birds of a feather flock together. There's a camp in Murfreesboro, Tennessee called the Bill Rice Ranch. And their camp used to start on Sunday night. I don't know of another camp except for Joshua Camps that does that, and Bill Rice doesn't do it anymore either. But we would bring the teenagers in on Sunday, and we'd get there Sunday afternoon, they'd get all in their dorms, then we'd have a Sunday night service, then they had a thing called Cowboy Town. So after the service on Sunday night they'd go to Cowboy Town, well all the youth pastors had to get the sports teams all lined up for the competition for the week. So I had to do that. I was doing that. So it would always be about 45 minutes to an hour before I could get down to Cowboy Town. As long as I live I'll never forget this. I get down to Cowboy Town And my whole youth group, and I would bring, I would bring 120, 150 teenagers to Bill Rice Ranch. And I'd come down to Cowboy Town one hour after we got to camp. Okay, this is the first time they met with anybody. And they were already divided up in their groups with churches from all over America. And it was like they brought signs. Bitter. Bitter over here. If you're bitter come on over here. Rock music. If you rock music over here. Over here. You hate them. It was unbelievable. They've already connected. Let me tell you something. Birds of a feather flock together. And if you have a rebellious child they're going to find other rebellious children to be around. They're gonna find out that they may not believe the same lie, but they're believing a lie and they wanna be together to build up the lies that they believe. Lousy friends, little communication, limited spiritual interest. This is so important to get this, because some of your children are struggling with this. They look in a mirror and they hate what God has done. They don't like their complexion. They don't like their gender. They don't like their hair. They don't like their ears. They don't like their height. And they look in a mirror and they go, okay, God's already screwed up in my life. God's already ruined my life. So they go to chapel and you can't get a response out of them because they're not interested in spiritual things at all because they believe a lie that God has already messed up their life, that God has already done wrong. So I don't want to have anything to do with spirituality. I don't believe God's for me. Look at what God's already messed up. Look at my life already. And it's so important to understand when you see limit, boy, they used to be, man, they went to junior camp and they loved God and they wanted, but now, limited spiritual interest, loaded questions. Now, I know this is kind of geared towards teens, but this works even with children. Loaded questions is very interesting. When a child is between 12 and 17 years of age, they need to ask questions. They need to have some doubts. Ain't no problem with that. All three of my boys had doubts. All three of my boys asked a lot of questions. But a loaded question is every time authority asks them to do something, there's always a why. Why? Why do we gotta do that? Why do we have to do that? Why do we? And they're not, and you know what? They don't want an answer. They want what they call freedom. And when they have those loaded questions, always questioning everything, it's a sign that they believe a lie. Loaded questions, and number five, and I believe this is the number one sign that somebody's believing a lie. And this is true for adults as well as children. Lack of gratefulness. When you believe a lie, you cannot be grateful. You cannot be thankful for anything. I remember when we would take praises, there were seasons in the youth group that were just tough seasons, that the kids' hearts were hardened. There were times of revival, but there were tough times. And during those tough times when they were believing lies and a lot of them were struggling, I'd say, okay, I will bless the Lord at all times. His praise shall continually be in my mouth. Hey, we're gonna do popcorn testimonies tonight. Just stand up, young people. And I'm talking to a youth group of 165, 175 teenagers. I said, just stand up and give a praise. Who will be the first? Young people, let the redeemed of the Lord say so. Who would like to just stand up real quick, give a praise and thank God for something? Yeah, Sue, go ahead, go ahead. Okay. Well, amen. I hope the kittens make it. Anybody else? Wow. Just nothing. You know why? Because they believe a lie. I deserve it. This is my right. They're not thankful about anything. Loaded questions, limited spiritual interests, lousy friends, little communication, lack of gratefulness. Brothers and sisters, how do you battle? How do you win this battle? Okay, you ready? Three words and we got this. Where do I begin this battle? We're not gonna spend a lot of time on this. I just want you to meditate and think about these three words in raising your children. Here we go. with time, with truth, and with tenderness. Proverbs 16.6 says, by mercy and truth, iniquity is cleansed, rebellion is purged. How do you get rebellion out of a young person? And here's what I've learned. Number one, when they start believing a lie, you gotta win their hearts back. And the way to do that is with time. Instead of being shunned with them. Some of you grandparents, well, I don't think that my granddaughter wants to be with me much anymore. No, no, that's the time you need to get with your granddaughter. You know, I don't think my grandson really enjoys time. Now there's maybe things that need to change or whatever, but I'm telling you something, they need time. When a young person believes a lie, that's the one that I want to gravitate to and I want to put more time into. When you start seeing, we determined, Marilee and I, we had a few goals. No one was going to have a greater influence on our children than Jim and Marilee. Until the day they got married, we were going to make sure, and if we started seeing one of their hearts start to go, man that was the one we needed to focus on and we needed to spend more time with that. Number two is truth. You do not stop giving them truth. And because that is reality, that is real. Lies are not love. You don't accept something that is a falsehood. Lies are not love. So you keep pumping truth into their life, but you give them time. And then I will tell you the way that this has got to be packaged. Actually, if I was doing this outline right, this is the first one that has to happen. And that's tenderness. And I looked up the word tenderness. Gentleness, kindness with deep affection. And your child needs to know. You've got to be gentle with them. You've got to be kind to your children. And they need to sense mom and dad have a deep affection. I think that's the mercy. That's the mercy. And when you, by the way, mercy comes first. By mercy and truth, iniquity is purged. There's so many stories with my boys, but I have to be careful about telling some of those stories. But I remember sometimes when I sensed that I was losing the heart of one of them, the time, the truth, and the tenderness that had to get in to bring them back and to get them to stop believing the lie. And it was a battle. You've got to battle for their hearts. I want to tell you about one teenager. I gave this teenager a detention in class one day in my Bible class. His name was Louie, and I think he was 15. And he came up afterwards, and I always had the thing, if I was going to give a detention, I always asked him why. I did that with the college. I'd always ask, if you're getting, you know, demerits, why are you getting them? So I asked Louie, and Louie said he didn't do it. Well, I saw him do it. And so I know he did it. And he said he didn't do it. And I said, well, maybe you need two days of detention to remember. And I'll never forget, he looked at me and he said, why don't you give me a month of detention? And I just looked at him and I went, mine. I don't know. I don't know what to do. I'm not going to give a kid a month of detention. But I don't know what to do with that. So I gave him two days. And he just he took it. He walked out. And I just went like, Oh, man, Lord, be with Louie. I came home. And I told Marilee. I said, Hey, Marilee, you know that? That date night, Friday to Olive Garden? Yeah. I said, I won't be able to do it. What do you mean? You promised. Everyone together, what'd we learn? Compensation, compensation. I say, hey, listen, next week I'll take you to Sandestin, we'll do the shopping outlets. Really? Yeah, we'll do it. I can't do it Friday night. Jim, why? I gotta go to the basketball game Friday night. Jim, you go to every basketball game. Why do you have to go to this one? I gotta be there for Louie. He said, well, why do you gotta be there for Louie? I know it's a long story, but just trust me, I gotta go. But next week we'll go to Sandest and we'll do the outlets. Well, that night I'm at the basketball game. Louie's a starter, but he's like fifth man. And Louie does not have a bigger fan that night than Jim Shetlar. Where'd it go, Louie? Good hustle. Had to do a lot of the hustle because he wasn't too good at anything else, but he hustled. Where'd it go, Louie? Remember, truth with mercy. Okay. Louie, where'd it go? Where'd it go? And Louie kind of looked up in the sand and looked at me like, why are you cheering at me? You hate me. At halftime, I'm out in the hallway and the players got to go by to the locker room. And I'm on the hallway and I kind of pat him on the back. I'm like, man, what are you doing? Leave me alone. I said, Louie, you're playing great. Get out of here, Pastor Scheller. End of the game, Louie comes out of the locker room, and in the foyer area there, I'm standing there waiting. And he says, Pastor Sheller, who are you here for? I'm here for you, Louie. He said, why? Why are you here? And I said, Louie, because I love you. And I think God's hands on you. And I think God's going to use you. Then why did you give me detention? Because you know what you did in class. You know what you did, Louie. But Louie, I want you to know, I care about you, man. Let me tell you something. I cannot tell you that that night Louie had revival. But I will tell you, my relationship and my influence upon Louie changed after that night. And I want to encourage you. You do time with truth plus tenderness, and you will battle for your child's heart, and you will keep your child's heart. Listen, we saw those kids. We're the 32 of the cutest little kids in the world. And we just gotta make sure that we keep their hearts close to mom and dad and to the Lord. And if they're close to mom and dad, they'll be close to the Lord as well. You gotta battle for your children. You gotta battle for the hearts of your children. Now, I don't know who's here tonight, but I will tell you this, there may be an adult here tonight that said, you won't believe this, Jim. You talked about this rebellion in children. I think I've been a rebellious person. And I think I believed a lie about God. I never thought God could forgive me. I never thought God loved me. I never thought God cared. But tonight I realize, I know you preach to parents. I know you preach to, you know, for our children. But Jim, I will tell you, I have been believing a lie about God. And tonight I want to get right with God. And tonight maybe somebody needs to get saved. You know what? If you're on your way to hell tonight and you say, well, it ain't going to matter for me. It's too late for me. That's a lie. God will save you tonight. You come to Jesus Christ and ask Christ to be your Savior as well. Heads are bowed and eyes are closed. Let me ask you a question, Mom and Dad. Are you in the battle? I gotta tell you, we saw 32 of the cutest little kids in the world. Man, we gotta make sure that their hearts stay close. There isn't anyone in their lives that they love more, adore more, and appreciate more than their moms and dad. All 32 of them. They love their parents. How you gonna keep that? Moms and dads, did God speak to you tonight? Grandparents? Did God speak to you tonight about an area that, boy, you know, I think I need to ask some forgiveness. I think there's some things I've slipped on and I need to talk to my child and I need to ask them for forgiveness. There's some things I haven't been, I'm giving them logs to burn on rebellion. Brother Scheller, God spoke to my heart tonight. We're gonna do a different kind of invitation tonight. If you'd like to make a commitment, maybe God spoke to you about a specific area Or you are extremely burdened for your child right now, and you say, wow. Now listen, don't take all this rejection personal. They're believing a lie. How many tonight would stand to their feet and say, dear God, there's something that needs to change in my parenting. If I'm going to win their hearts, There's something that needs to change and God, I humbly recognize it and I want to deal with it tonight. Or, Lord, tonight I'm making a commitment that by time and truth and tenderness, I'm going to battle for the heart of my child. And God, I want to make sure that my heart is towards my child and my child's heart towards me. And it's going to be a battle. And I'm willing to fight that battle. Dear God, help me tonight. I stand tonight needing your help. I stand tonight needing to change something in my life. I stand tonight as a grandparent to say, dear God, I need to battle. I need to help my children with their children. God, there's some things that I see that need to change. And Lord, I wanna make a commitment tonight to battle for the hearts of those children. If God spoke to you about an area, it's specific, that you wanna commit to God about a decision, about a commitment, about your children, and you'd say, God, I'm standing, to change, I'm standing to commit. God spoke to my heart tonight about an area of my grandchildren and my children. Brother Shetler, I want you to pray, but Brother Shetler, I'm standing. God knows my heart. There's something that I need to fight for, and I need to change in my marriage, in my life, in my family, in my parenting. And I want God to help me, and I humbly stand to my feet, asking God for that. If that's true, would you stand right now, all over? God spoke to your heart tonight about something that needs it, very specific, that God said, you know what? When you gave that one point, God spoke my heart, and I wanna deal with it tonight. Father, I pray for all these that are standing right now, and I pray, God, you'd be with them. I ask, Lord, that you'll give them grace and help. Give them humility to go. Maybe they gotta go to their spouse. Maybe they gotta go to their child. And Lord, maybe they're standing because they're just committing to you. And God, I'm gonna fight and I'm not gonna let go. Lord, my child's heart is important and I wanna be used. Lord, I pray for everyone that is standing. Let's all stand to our feet. It's a very interesting thought tonight that there could be somebody in this room that has believed a lie about God and about salvation. They believe a lie, it's too late. God could never forgive me of my sin. I could never be saved. That's a lie. And tonight we're gonna give you an invitation to stop believing that lie and come to Jesus Christ. So let me ask you tonight as our invitation begins, if God spoke to your heart and you'd say, I'd like to trust Jesus tonight, I believe the truth tonight that whosoever will can be saved. And I'm not gonna believe that lie. Moms, dads, if you wanna come down to the altar, you're more than welcome to come down and pray, but thank you for standing and just take some time and pray about that. You do whatever as we sing.