Our scripture reading for today, to which I invite you to turn with me at this time, is found in the New Testament epistle of the Apostle Paul to the Church of Colossae. It's Colossians chapter 3. In the New Testament, Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, Colossians chapter 3. Paul penned the epistle to the Colossians probably around 60 A.D. during his first Roman imprisonment. And he wrote it primarily to address a number of heresies which the brothers and sisters in Colossae had fallen prey to. Heresies such as an early form of gnosticism, the desire for a secret sort of knowledge. heresies such as the depreciation of the supremacy of Jesus Christ, the heresy of a false asceticism, the heresy of a falling back into Judaism and ceremonialism, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And these are the things primarily which Paul addresses. But interestingly enough, in the midst of this very powerful epistle, he addresses rules for Christian living individually, but also corporately in the church and specifically in the family in matters concerning husbands and wives and children and the like. And so our scripture reading for today will consist of Colossians 3 verses 1 through 21. But as we begin this Lord willing four part series of messages, we're going to be focusing especially on verse 18. Verse 18 will constitute our text for today. But we read through verse 21 at this time. Let us hear then the word of the Lord. Since then you have been raised with Christ. Set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory. Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature. sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires, and greed, which is idolatry. Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. You used to walk in these ways in the life you once lived, but now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these, anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its creator. Here there is no Greek or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all and is in all. Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues, put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace, and be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, Do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged. Thus far, the reading of God's holy word. And as always, dear friends, I ask and urge you to keep your Bibles open and handy as you look to God's word together today. Dear congregation of Jesus Christ, several years ago, in fact, it was way back in the year 1977, A Christian psychologist by the name of Dr. James Dobson founded a ministry in Southern California known as Focus on the Family. Focus on the Family. And ever since its inception, the mission of Focus on the Family has been, and I quote, listen carefully please, Nurturing and defending the God-ordained institution of the family and promoting biblical truths worldwide. Nurturing and defending the God-ordained institution of the family and promoting biblical truths worldwide. End of quote. I believe that it was back in 1991 when Focus on the Family moved its headquarters out of Southern California and they moved the headquarters to Colorado Springs, Colorado. And in doing so, they enabled my wife, Margaret, and I to visit their headquarters when I was visiting, or we were visiting our daughter, Kelly, and her family a few years ago. They live outside of Denver, Colorado. And if you're sitting in the front, or perhaps if the camera could zoom in, this is the large sculpted Logo of focus focus on the family. It's right outside their headquarters and in the background here. You can see the beautiful Snow-capped rocky mountains and we were very honored to be able to take a tour and and see that ministry firsthand the friends ever since the beginning of focus on the family as a as a father a As a husband, as a pastor, I have been extremely grateful for and very supportive of the ministry of Focus on the Family. In fact, our congregation has also been very supportive corporately as well. In fact down through the years at times we get a phone call here in the office from the headquarters in Colorado Springs and one of the staff members there are personally thanking us for our prayer support and financial support down through the years. And so I just want to give you a heads up that if you yourself or have family members or friends who are in need of very faithful biblical resources concerning any matter regarding marriage in the family, I would encourage you to visit their website, which is www.focusonthefamily.com, focusonthefamily.com. It is truly a ministry which God has raised up and which he has abundantly blessed. And again, for which I am extremely thankful. But friends, as grateful as I am for the ministry of Focus on the Family, and as grateful as we ought to be for that ministry, I am far more and even eternally grateful for the meat of God's Word when it speaks on matters concerning marriage and the family. And believe me when I say that each and every one of us ought to be extremely grateful for God's Word in this regard as well. And so as we turn to our study of our text for today as recorded for us in Colossians 3, verse 18, let us very eagerly and let us very expectantly, let us very carefully and let us very prayerfully Seek to hear and to heed what God's Word has to say as we find it here, focusing on the family, first of all, concerning wives. First of all, concerning wives. Now then, as we begin to work our way through the words of our text and see what God has to say here through His Holy Spirit-inspired Apostle Paul, we're going to, first of all, consider the context of our text. The context of our text. And as we do so, there are two very important points that I want to highlight. And so if you're taking notes, know that under this first point of context are two sub points, if you will. I don't want you to find your way going into the second point before we're there. But we're going to consider the context, but two very important points concerning that context. The first point is this. Please note, needless to say, that Colossians 3 verse 18 is preceded by Colossians 3 verses 1 through 17. Why is that significant? Friends, it's significant for us, it's very important for us to read verse 18 in the context of verses 1 through 17 Because in verses 1-17, the Apostle Paul, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, is setting forth a series of biblical principles that have a direct bearing on the practical implementation and application of verses 18-21. And so, for example, if you'll look at Colossians 3, verses 1 and 2, we find that Paul is speaking here to those who by God's sovereign grace and electing love have repented of their sins and profess faith in Christ as Lord and Savior. And he begins by saying, because we have been raised with Christ, we must set our hearts on things above, we must set our minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, you will appear with him in glory. And so as we're winding our way through life, as we're winding our way along this earth and this planet, we want to keep our eyes focused on eternity and on the glory of God and the glory we will one day share with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Now look at verses five and following. Plus it's because we're in Christ. Because we are to set our hearts and minds on heavenly things and not earthly things. We must put to death whatever belongs to that old sinful fleshly nature. We call that the old man. The old man, even if we are in Christ, keeps trying to come back to life. And we have to continually put him to death, that old sinful fleshly nature. Drop down to verse 12 with me, please. Paul goes on to say that as God's chosen people, we must clothe ourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience, all things which Christ manifested in an infinite manner. We are to bear with each other and forgive each other whatever grievances we may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love which binds them all together in perfect unity. And then verse 15, let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts since as members of one body you were called to peace and be thankful. Verse 16 tells us that we must immerse ourselves in the Word of God, not only in our reading, not only in our thinking, not only in our preaching, but also in our praying and our praising. Then in verse 17, he says, whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. In other words, Christ's power is to infuse and form our practice. Christ's power is to infuse and form our practice in all these things. And that's point number one under the context of our text. That's point number one under the context of our text. Now friends, point number two, under the context of our text, is that after Paul says all that, verses one through 17, he gets into verse 18 and he says, wives, submit to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord. He goes, wives. And so the first people he addresses in this regard are not the men, but the women, not the husbands, but the wives. And friends, I confess to you today that I wish that was not the case. I honestly wish that Paul had written this under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit in another way, and I'll tell you why. Over the past nearly 35 years, I've spent countless hours, and I mean that, countless hours, in pre-marriage and marriage counseling. And when we turn to the word of God together in these counseling sessions, I just always wished that when you turn to these passages, Paul had first of all addressed the men, and perhaps read them the riot act, as it were, and got them all straightened out, and got them biblical, and got them spiritual, and got them humble, and got them loving, and got them godly, and got all that taken care of, and then go on to address the wives. But that's not what the scriptures do. We go through verses one through 17, we get to verse 18, and he unloads on the wives. And he says, wives, submit to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord. In fact, he doesn't only do that here. I was trying to find a passage where he reversed it, and so I could use that in the counseling sessions. But for example, go to Ephesians five. Just turn back to the left several pages. Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians. Go to Ephesians five, verses 22 through 24. And notice, Paul does the same thing. He just starts out unloading on the wives before he even speaks to the husbands. And he says, wives, submit to your husbands as is to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the church, his body of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. And then he goes on to address the husbands. I wish it was reversed. And by the way, not only the Apostle Paul, but the Apostle Peter does the same thing. Let's go to the end of the Bible, if you would care to turn with me. If you wanna just listen, that's okay. But in 1 Peter 3, notice what Peter writes in verses one through six. 1 Peter 3, one through six. He starts out and he says, wives, in the same way, be submissive to your husbands, so that if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives. when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Don't lose your place. I wasn't planning on saying this, but I'm gonna say it anyway, but I'll come right back to this. When I was in seminary, one of our professors said to us, men, when you get out there in your congregations, I want you to always remember something. The loneliest person in your congregation is gonna be a woman who is there without her husband. Always remember, he said. The loneliest person in your congregation is gonna be the woman who is there without her husband. I've always remembered that. And that of course refers to our widows, who used to sit perhaps for many years next to their husband in church. He's with the Lord, they're here alone. And there are other women who come, married women, and their husband may be a believer or an unbeliever, but he's not there with them in worship. Incredibly lonely. And that doesn't even begin to speak to the other lonelinesses, the other lonely folks that are here every Sunday and why we need to speak to each other and reach out to each other and love each other, no matter what our age or where we're from or who we are. But to those women that are married to unbelievers, Peter says, listen, let the life you live have an impact on them. The Spirit can use the godliness of your life to break the hardness of their heart and perhaps lead them to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ, you see. That's a message for another time. I just continue on in the passage here. Verse 3, your beauty should not come from outward adornments, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You know, next month, Lord willing, Margaret and I have been married for 40 years. We're still working on that part of this text. She hasn't gotten that down yet, to call me master. Maybe some of you men are in the same situation that I am. But anyway, it's what Sarah used to do. I guess there's always hope. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. He unloads on the wives before he even gets to the husbands. But men, I just gotta touch on this briefly. Look at verse seven with me. Husbands, in the same way, be considerate as you live with your wives and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life so that nothing will hinder your prayers. I've said it before and I've said it again. I have enough problems in life without having God not listening to my prayers because of the way I'm treating my wife. And guys, that same thing is true for each and every one of you. We're not gonna address the men today. Lord willing, next week, guys, we're gonna let God's word speak to and address us and mold us and shape us, and it's gonna be some hard-hitting lessons for us as men. And guys, if you were planning on being away next Lord's Day, I think your wife just canceled your plans. I think that you're gonna be here next Sunday, and I pray that you will be. That's a message for, Lord willing, next week. But ladies, I wanna pick up on something in verse seven related to you. It talks about you as the weaker partner. And I have a footnote here in my Bible, excellent study Bible, and there's a footnote here on that phrase, the weaker partner. And it says, and I quote, not a reference to moral stamina, strength of character, or mental capacity, but most likely to sheer physical strength. That's probably what it's referring to as the weaker partner. I'm gonna read that again. not a reference to moral stamina, strength of character, or mental capacity, but most likely to sheer physical strength, and I'll grant you that. Perhaps that's probably what Peter is referring to here. But ladies, listen very carefully to what I'm saying, because I mean this from the bottom of my heart. If Peter's referring to the woman as the weaker partner physically, fine. When you start talking about things like moral stamina, strength of character, mental capacity. Ladies, I know myself, and I know my wife is a lot stronger than I am in those regards. And I'm going to say, and I say this to the men respectfully, ladies, I believe that generally speaking, generally speaking, most of the godly women I know are much stronger in those ways than many, if not most, of the godly men I know. And I mean that sincerely. And sisters in the Lord, I truly believe that that is one of the reasons why God addresses you first concerning these things. Because of your moral, spiritual, mental strength. If I could put it in human terms, I truly believe that God thought the best chance for the success of his biblical blueprint in a marriage was to have the wives write with him and write with their husbands. And that is why I truly believe that after setting forth all of these other biblical principles in Colossians 3, 1 through 17, the next thing Paul says under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit is wives, wives. That is the context of this particular focus on the family in the words of our scripture reading, the context. But now secondly, as our text continues, let us look at the content, the content of our text in Colossians 3, verse 18. Look with me, please. Wives. Submit to your husbands. The New King James and the King James Version says your own husbands, but that's on lesser valid manuscript evidence. There are manuscripts that have your own husbands, but most of the translations now drop out that little word own. Wives, submit to your husbands. Now, needless to say, that word submit is not very popular. It is not very politically correct in our country, in our culture today. In fact, one biblical commentator, Reformed Bible commentator, William Hendrickson, put it this way, and I quote, listen carefully, please. Hendrickson says, suffragists, or in our modern language, we might say militant feminists, have said that it is positively wicked to use the word obey in the marriage contract, end of quote. And I must admit to you also that just my own pastoral experience over the past 35 years, there have been instances, not many, but several, where in the pre-marriage counseling sessions, I have had to explain and try to persuade and convince this godly bride-to-be that this is a biblical principle which God has instituted for her good and for his glory, and she needs to subscribe to it as she enters into this marriage relationship, or I say I will not perform your marriage ceremony. I truly believe it's that important. Now friends, because it is that important, before I get to the word specifically, I want to explain very clearly and succinctly what that does not mean. When Paul says, wives, submit to your husbands, what does that not mean? And I'm gonna give you three very short points on what it doesn't mean. Number one. When Paul gives that command to submit, it does not imply that the wife is personally inferior to her husband. It does not imply that the wife is personally inferior to her husband. You know, in Greek culture, Roman culture, in the Muslim world today, women are treated as inherently inferior to the man, to the husband. That is not true in Christianity. In fact, we could take the time to look at a wealth of biblical evidence where the Bible generally, and Christ specifically, raised the status of women. And so that is not true in Christianity that the woman is inferior. In fact, one passage will look at it, since we're in the neighborhood, if you want to just flip back a few pages to the left, to go to Galatians 3, verses 26-29. In Galatians 3, 26 through 29, Paul writes, you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus. For all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female notice, for you're all one in Christ Jesus. We are joint heirs of grace. If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham's seed and heirs according to the promise. And so let us always remember that when Paul says to the wife, submit, it does not imply that the wife is personally inferior to her husband. Second way in which I want to clarify as to what Paul does not mean. Number two, this submission is not absolute. This submission, this command to submit is not absolute. Meaning, ladies listen, men listen, the wife is not to submit if the husband is commanding his wife to do something which God forbids. or if the husband is forbidding his wife to do something which God commands. I'm gonna say that again. This command to submit is not absolute. For example, if the husband is commanding his wife to do something which God forbids, or is forbidding her to do something which God commands, that she must not submit. And we could flesh that out in many ways, but that's the gist of that particular point and principle. Number three. Please note that this submission is not being commended or commanded void of love. This command to submit is not being commanded or commended void of love, as we see very clearly in the very next verse, Colossians 3 19. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. But again, that'll be the message Lord willing for next week. That's what it what it doesn't mean. But that begs the question, then, does it not? Well, what does it mean? What Paul says here, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, wives, submit to your husbands, what does it mean? Well, here, you've gotta stay with me, and if you're taking notes, please be sure to get this down. It's a little technical, but it's critically important for a proper understanding. You look at that word submit in the original language, and it's the word hupotasso, and you would transliterate it in English letters, H-U-P-O, hupo, And then tasso, T-A-S-S-O, when you say hupo tasso. Hupo literally means to put or place under. To put or place under. Tasso means to put or to place. So you've got the placing under, the putting under another or some other authority. Hupo tasso, to put under, to place under. Now stay with me, because this is critically important. is in the present tense in the Greek. What does that mean? It means it conveys a sense of ongoing or continuous action. Got it? Present tense, ongoing, continuous action. Secondly, critically important, I never caught this before. It's in the middle voice in the Greek. You say, well, what's the middle voice? The middle voice means that it's referencing an action that the person themselves is taking, which has a direct bearing on themselves. I'm going to say that again. The middle voice. An action the person themselves is taking willingly, voluntarily, knowing that it has a direct bearing or effect on themselves. And brothers and sisters, why that is so critically important is we are not talking here about a man, some of you are old enough to remember the honeymooners, Ralph Cramden, I'm the king of the castle, all that kind of stuff. That is not what this is about. You will obey me, you will submit to me. That's not what this is about. This is a voluntary, self-motivated, willing submission on the part of the wife. That's what the middle voice means. And then it's in the imperative mood, which simply means it's a command. It is an imperative, it is a non-negotiable as far as God is concerned. It is something which the wives are commanded to do. Present tense, middle voice, imperative mood. Now friends, think about that. What that means is that God is commanding all women by both nature and grace. Listen to what I'm saying. by both nature and grace. He is speaking both as a cultural mandate, creation, ordinance to all women everywhere. Doesn't matter what their spiritual standing is. If they're married, this is for them. But he's also saying it in the realm of grace, that he knows that the Lord Jesus has set the perfect example of dying to self in service of others. And he grants women the grace to do that in their own marriage situation and to defer to the leadership of their husband in their own home. In fact, one biblical commentator put it this way, and this is worth writing down, so I'll say it a couple times. Listen carefully, please. He said, such submission is the deference that a loving wife, conscious that her home must have a head, gladly shows to a worthy and devoted husband. I wish I had said that. It's a great quote. I'm gonna say it again. Such submission is the deference that a loving wife conscious that her home must have a head, gladly shows to a worthy and devoted husband. I'll say it quickly one more time. Such submission is the deference that a loving wife, conscious that her home must have a head, gladly shows to a worthy and devoted husband. End of quote. We've looked at the context. We've looked at the content, and now thirdly and finally, and I apologize way too briefly, we're going to look at the condition. Thirdly and finally, we look at the condition. Look at verse 18 with me, please. Wives, submit to your husbands, notice, as is fitting in the Lord, as is fitting in the Lord. That's the condition, as is fitting in the Lord. What does that mean? Great Reformer John Calvin says, and I quote, it means that as is confirmed by the authority of God. As is confirmed by the authority of God. The Greek word is anecho. Anecho meaning as is fitting. Anecho means that as pertains to your duty or the responsibility of your role. As pertains to your duty or the responsibility of your role. Anecho. As is fitting and then in the Lord. That is because of your relationship with Jesus Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord. That's the condition, that's the condition. Friends, I wish we had more time to spend on that, and we don't, but I wanna close with this illustration. Some of you know that I have a motorcycle, I drive a motorcycle, and it's an old motorcycle, and I don't know, Paul, if you can zoom in on this. It's a 1988 Honda Goldwing GL 1500. And it's kind of big and kind of boxy. In fact, I happen to notice one of the young men are here in worship today. I'm not going to say his name because I didn't get permission to use his name. But we were on a motorcycle tour with a lot of the guys from church a year or so ago, and we stopped for coffee, and he's just kind of staring at my bike. He's not saying anything. And he's just looking at it, and I just said, well, what do you think? And he goes, he's about 13, 14 years old at the time, and he goes, Why don't you just buy a car? It was really cute. So anyway, I've got this motorcycle, and with the motorcycle comes a manual. And so Honda gives you this manual, this Honda manual, and I'm reading the manual, because I'm not very techy or mechanical at all, and it talks about the tire pressure in the front's got to be 33 psi, and the tire pressure in the back's got to be 41 psi, and this is the kind of oil you should use, this is when you should change the oil, and this is how you winterize the bike, and it goes on and on. And I said to myself, now I could very foolishly say, well, I know why Honda gives you this manual. They don't want you to have any fun with your motorcycle. They don't want you to enjoy it. They don't want you to, you know, go riding it. They just want to keep you busy with all sorts of technical things that are going to ruin your fun and not let you have fun with your bike. And you say, no, Pastor Keugan, that's not why, why Honda gives you this manual. They give you the manual so that you will get maximum pleasure and maximum performance for the longest period of time out of your motorcycle, right? Friends, listen. When it comes to all matters of faith and practice, when it comes to all matters of belief and conduct, God's word is the manufacturer's handbook. God's Word is the manufacturer's handbook. And if you or I or anyone, I'm gonna kind of say humanly speaking, wants to get maximum pleasure, maximum performance for the longest period of time in our hearts, in our homes, in all of our interpersonal relationships, by the grace and mercy of God, through the power of the Holy Spirit, through faith in the name of Jesus, we must hear, And we must heed what God's Word has to say when focusing on the family. Amen. Let's bow our heads and our hearts together in prayer. Oh, our mighty God and most merciful Heavenly Father. Some 3,000 years ago, King Solomon said, The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands, the foolish one tears hers down. And so even as we all pray for the full and complete forgiveness of the many ways in which we have all sinned against you, Heavenly Father, and against one another concerning our marriage and family relationships, We also and especially pray for all of the wives gathered here and near and far, that according to your will and the wisdom of your word, for their own good and for your eternal glory, they would submit to their husbands as is fitting in the Lord. Hear us, Heavenly Father, we pray and we plead in Jesus' name, amen.