The text for the sermon this morning comes from Matthew 19. In our series on marriage, we've considered the divine institution of marriage. We've considered the calling of husbands and wives. And now we consider the subject of divorce. And we'll be considering adultery and divorce this morning. And next week, Lord willing, you will consider separation But in Matthew 19, Jesus specifically deals with the topic of adultery. And so let's hear God's word as we find it in Matthew 19, the first 10 verses. Now it came to pass when Jesus had finished his sayings that he parted from Galilee and came to the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. And great multitudes followed him and he healed them there. Pharisees also came to him testing him and saying to him, is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any cause? For just any reason, sorry. And he answered and said to them, have you not read that he who made them at the beginning made them male and female and said, for this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. So then they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. They said to him, why then did Moses command to give her certificate of divorce and to put her away? He said to them, Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts permitted you to divorce your wives. But from the beginning, it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife except for sexual immorality and marries another commits adultery. And whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery. His disciples said to him, if such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry. Marriage is the covenantal relationship of a man and a woman. Marriage finds its expression in a man promising to be a husband and a woman promising to be a wife. Malachi 2.14 says that a man's wife is your companion and your wife by covenant. Thus, two people simply living together as boyfriend and girlfriend are not married. They haven't promised to each other that they will be husband and wife. Rather, they are committing fornication. Now, to break the marriage relationship is to breach that covenant. Is to break vows made in the presence of God. This is why Malachi 2.16 says, For the Lord God of Israel says that he hates divorce, for it covers one's garment with violence. God hates divorce because it rips apart the one flesh relationship that exists between husband and wife. It is violence. And this is also why we read in Proverbs 2.17 of the immoral woman who not only forsakes the companion of her youth, she not only forsakes her husband who is her companion by pursuing adulterous relationships, but she also forgets the covenant of her God. She forgets the covenant that she made in the presence of God that she would be this man's wife. Divorce is a breach of the covenant relationship of marriage. And it is a dreadfully sad reality that there are so many who have covered their garments with violence in our society. Statistically speaking, almost 50% of all marriages in the United States will end in divorce. You put that in comparison with other countries. The United States has the sixth highest divorce rate of every country in the world. That weren't sobering enough, Oklahoma has a second highest divorce rates out of all the states being only beat by Nevada. During the COVID-19 pandemic, domestic violence and divorce rates increased as couples found themselves isolating together. Yet numbers are very impersonal. They don't get at the tears, the frustration, the heart, and the pain that there is in troubled marriages and in divorce. Divorce is ultimately a very personal matter involving the lives of real men, women, and children. Many of you likely know of lives that have been horribly affected by divorce. Some of you may have personally gone through a divorce as a child or a spouse. Yet regardless of whether you have or haven't been personally affected by divorce, this is a matter that should greatly concern us as Christians. As we have seen from scripture over the past number of months, marriage is a divine institution. It is a relationship that is regulated by God himself. When that relationship is broken, it is grievous to God. And as Christians, we should love what God loves and hate what God hates. God tells us in his word that he hates divorce. In a culture that regularly holds out the possibility for divorce, even the goodness of divorce, in a culture that celebrates at times the dissolution of marriage, we as Christians must have a very clear understanding of what scripture says on the topic. We must have an understanding of scripture's testimony about the will of our God is so that we might witness to the world that in the midst of so much divorce, we might hold out the gospel to those who desperately need it. In our text in Matthew 19, just one place where scripture is very clear on what the biblical grounds for divorce are. And so let's consider God's word on divorce as we find it in Matthew 19. In our text, the Pharisees came to Jesus seeking to ask him a question, but their question is a loaded question. They did not come in good faith. They did not come in sincerity. Instead, they came seeking to test Jesus that they might accuse him of some doctrinal inconsistency or sin. We read in verse three, the Pharisees also came to him, testing him and saying to him, is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason? Now the outside, this might seem like a legitimate and fair question. After all, it's a question that comes out of just a reading of Deuteronomy 24. You recall that we read earlier in Deuteronomy 24 that God said a man could divorce his wife if he found some uncleanness in her. Deuteronomy 24 verse one says, when a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some uncleanness in her. Now, one can rightly wonder, what does uncleanness mean in this passage? Well, it's a bit of an ambiguous word. The Hebrew scriptures don't necessarily clear it up. The word can be translated as some indecency or nakedness. The Septuagint isn't much help either, as it translates it as an unseemly thing. And there's no indication that uncleanness necessarily refers to sexual immorality. In fact, the same phrase is used in Deuteronomy 23, verse 12 through 14, where the Lord gives instructions to the Israelites about latrines needing to be outside the camp because when God comes to the camp, he does not want to see anything indecent. And so indecent could be even used to refer to excrement. And because of the difficulty of translating this phrase, of understanding what is meant, during Jesus' day, there was a lot of debate around Deuteronomy 24 and what the reasons and cause for divorce could be. In particular, we see two different schools in this debate. On the one hand, you have the school of Hillel. And Hillel argued that a man could divorce his wife for pretty much any cause that met his fancy. He opened the doors wide open and said, anything that a husband has issue with with his wife can be cause for divorce. So if he burns the food was one example that Hillel gave. If he burns the food, if she burns the food, well, he can go and divorce his wife. If she talks so loudly that his neighbors hear, He can go and divorce her. Essentially, any cause is a legitimate cause for one to divorce his wife. And he arrived at that interpretation because he emphasized that aspect of finding no favor in his eyes. Well, if there's anything that your wife does that causes you to have no favor for her, well, you can go and divorce her. And you can quickly see how that leads to very trivial and many different reasons for divorce. But on the more conservative spectrum, you have the interpretation of Shammai. Shammai was another Jewish teacher in the first century. And Shammai argued that uncleanness meant severe scandal along the lines of adultery. And he said, the only grounds for divorce is severe scandal, such as sexual immorality, such as a wife going and having sexual relations with another man. And the question that these Pharisees bring to Jesus is really a question of which school is he going to side with. Is Jesus going to side with the school of Hillel, or is he going to side with the school of Shammai? And the halal school was certainly the more popular interpretation. We get a hint of that in the disciples' response to Jesus' teaching. The disciples at the end in verse 10 say to Jesus, if such is the case of a man with his wife, it's better not to marry. You know, and so we see that Jesus risks losing followers, risks losing disciples if he goes against Halaal. But if Jesus sided with Lao, he could be accused by the Pharisees of licentiousness, of allowing a loose idea of marriage and divorce, of allowing immorality to enter into society, of just any cause a man can put away his wife. He could also be accused of being inconsistent with what he had already preached. Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount had already given the qualifications for divorce, the grounds of divorce. In Matthew 5, 31, he said, furthermore, it has been said, whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce. But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery. and whoever marries a woman whose divorce commits an alter. And so we see that it's really a loaded question that these Pharisees are bringing to Jesus. But it was also a horrible question they were asking. And I say that because this question was not so much interested in preserving the institution of marriage, rather it was in, oh, let's try to figure out what are the ways we can divorce our wives. They're looking for loopholes out of marriage. They're not interested in preserving marriage. They're looking for, okay, what biblical justification can I have so that I can put away my wife who is a nuisance to me? Rather than being zealous for marriage, the people in Jesus' day were more concerned with how they can interpret God's word such that it suited their needs and desires. Is this not how marriage is treated today? Difficulties come up in the marriage relationship. Difficulties of preference and desires, unresolved conflicts and the like. People immediately start looking for ways to get out of the marriage. They come asking their friends, how can I get out of this marriage? Can I divorce my spouse for this cause? Is this a good enough reason to leave my marriage? You must certainly agree with me that my husband or my wife is unnecessarily difficult. Surely there's someone out there who's better for me. But seeking such ways out of marriage is a sinful perspective to have. This is a besmirching of the beautiful institution of marriage that God has given. The Pharisees very question was a wrong question. And understanding the Pharisees' question in this light, it helps us see why Jesus immediately references Genesis in his response. Jesus, at the outset, doesn't really seem to deal with, okay, what are the causes for divorce? But instead, he puts before the Jews, he puts before the Pharisees the permanence that marriage is to having, does this by going back to Genesis. Jesus responded not by making all kinds of allowances for divorce, but by affirming from scripture the permanency of marriage. This is the attitude that we as the church ought to have towards difficulties in the marriage relationship. We ought to strive to emphasize the things that God loves and the things that God hates. God hates divorce. He must love the permanency of marriage. And we as the church ought to love and promote the permanency of marriage. And we really have four different arguments for the permanency of marriage here in our text. Jesus begins his response by saying, have you not read that he who made them at the beginning made them male and female? In other words, Jesus is saying that the marriage institution is a creation ordinance. It goes all the way back to the beginning when God created the heavens and the earth. This isn't something new. This isn't something that man has invented. This happened because God created man, male and female. Its limits, marriage's limits and freedoms are expressly defined by the creator of all mankind. It's not in man's authority to decide what marriage is and when that marriage can be broken up. There is blatant rebellion against God's authority in marriage with loose parameters for divorce today. No fault of divorce, which is legal in every U.S. state, allows couples to divorce without reason, without cause. At least the Pharisees were interested in operating within the context of God's word and trying to figure out, okay, what are the causes for divorce that we can have? But our society has completely abandoned all moorings from God's law when it comes to divorce. And even though it has unmoored itself from Holy Scripture, God is still king and sovereign over man. His divine institution and laws remain in place regardless of whether or not man observes them or even knows them. His divine institution of marriage remains in place for he is the one who made them male and female. Second argument for the permanency of marriage that Jesus gives is that the relationship between husband and wife is a relationship that is closer than that of parents and children. This is why Jesus directly quotes Genesis 2.24, for this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. The relationship between parents and children is a very close and natural relationship. It is a natural thing when parents are prematurely ripped from their children. The relationship between husband and wife is even closer than that of parents and children. Husband and wife are called to leave their father and mother and be joined together in that marriage relationship. It can be a difficult thing for a woman to leave her parents who raised her and married and cared for her throughout her infancy and childhood. It can be a difficult thing for that woman to be joined with her husband who is to love and care for her. And if that is a difficult thing, how much more difficult should it be for a husband and wife to breach their marriage relationship with divorce? For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife. It is an unnatural breach for a husband to leave his wife or a wife to leave her husband. And this unnatural breach of the unmarried relationship has unnatural consequences on society. When divorce is common and usual, and this is what we see in today's culture, you find that the love of many grows cold. Instead, there is much bitterness, distrust, and sin. Children of divorced parents end up often despising at least one of their parents and are spoiled by the other parent out of guilt or desire to win that child's heart. The relationship between parent and child is broken. There's not a father figure in the home and a mother figure. Or it gets even more complicated with bringing in others. But also, The relationship that men have towards women and the women should have towards men is greatly harmed. Men view women simply as objects to satisfy their desires, whatever those desires might be. And when they no longer bring satisfaction, when they no longer find favor in their eyes, men figure it's time to divorce and find someone else who can satisfy my needs. Men are encouraged to live for themselves rather than to sacrificially lay down their lives for another, even when the hard times hit. They become lazy and more interested in sports and entertainment, and their desire is then in the one they are of one flesh with. Similarly, in a culture where divorce is prominent, women grow quickly to despise men in leadership because of horrible abuse they have seen of it. They despise institutions such as marriage or they despise relationships with men because of how horrible their father was or how horrible their husband was. and seek to be independent and removed from marriage and they are often brought into the miseries of oppression and anxiety because of that. horrible consequences to divorce and the breach of the relationship that there is to be between husband and wife. And so Jesus argues that marriage is to be permanent. This is how God created things. This is the natural order of things. A husband and a wife being of one flesh. And this leads to the third argument for the permanence of marriage that we have here, and the two shall become one flesh. Divorce is like the amputation of a body parts. In marriage, husband and wife become one flesh. But in a divorce, there is a severing of that one flesh relationship. Like a war, veteran divorcees, they bear scars. Horrible scars remain on the ones who have been divorced. Scars of sin and despair. Scars on relationship and love. Marriage should be permanent because the two become one flesh. And the final argument here that Christ gives for the permanency of marriage is that marriage is something that God does. Jesus says, therefore, what God has joined together, let not man separate. Marriage is not simply the pronouncement of the man who is officiating your wedding. Marriage is the pronouncement of God himself saying this man and this woman are husband and wife. God has joined these two together in his sovereign providence. And they have taken vows together, whether it's formal or informal, that they are husband and wife. And for man to rip that relationship asunder, is for man to reject God's authority, is to reject the idea that God has placed us together. Therefore, what God has joined together, let not man separate. A permanency of marriage is to be sought because of God's sovereignty and authority. Now, the Pharisees respond to Jesus' argument for the permanence of marriage by asking him directly about Deuteronomy 24. They ask, well, why then did Moses command to give her a certificate of divorce and put her away? And we still see that they're operating in that thinking. What are the ways out of marriage? But Jesus answered that question by pointing out that God never commanded divorce. Instead, he allowed it. He permitted it. He did not legislate that divorce needed to happen. Notice how Jesus corrects the Pharisees' thinking here. They said, command. But Jesus says, permitted. Jesus says, Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts permitted you to divorce your wives. There is a huge difference between commanding something and permitting something. And the allowance for divorce, the permission for divorce was given because, not for good reasons, but because of Israel's hardness of heart. Israel did not have the spiritual maturity to prize a marriage. Lord knew that divorce for sinful reasons would happen. And so in order to reserve some semblance of order in the disorder of divorce, safeguards were given. The Lord allowed divorce with qualifications to minimize the horrific damage their hard hearts would cause. And some of those qualifications were that the husband had to give his wife a bill of divorce. There was a legal process involved that ensured the husband could not just up and, well, get out of my house. But no, he had to give his wife a piece of paper saying, this is why I'm divorcing you. And then that woman has that piece of paper so that she can show it to potential other suitors and say, these are the reasons. They might not be good reasons, but these are ultimately the reasons why my husband has divorced me. But we also notice that another qualification for divorce was that husbands were not allowed to return to their divorced wives after they had been married. And this condition was given that husbands might think very carefully about whether they should divorce their wife or not. There's no going back after it happens. And in these safeguards to divorce, we see that these laws sought to protect the vulnerable. They sought to protect women. So often liberal scholars accuse God's law and scripture as being a misogynistic piece of literature. Yet this is far from the case. So many of the laws in the Old Testament were written for justice and protection of those in society who would be most vulnerable. It's interesting that as we read through Deuteronomy 24, it certainly starts with the subject of divorce, but it ends with the protection of those who are the fatherless, the widow, the vulnerable in society. And it seems that those who are divorced are being considered in that context. These are the vulnerable. And Calvary remarked that this allowance for divorce was rather a punishment inflicted on the husbands than an indulgence or permission fitted to inflame their lust. Now, as awful as divorce is, there are legitimate biblical and moral grounds for divorce. There are reasons that one can breach the otherwise permanency of marriage. Jesus says, he gives these grounds for divorce. He says, I say to you, whoever divorces his wife except for sexual immorality and marries another commits adultery and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery. The biblical ground here for divorce is sexual immorality. First off, we should see that this demonstrates how seriously the Lord takes sexual sin. The marriage institution is a relationship of one flesh between husband and wife. Nothing typically but death can dissolve that relationship. Here we are told that sexual sin, like death, has potential for the breach of this relationship between husband and wife. It's the bringing of other parties into the intimacy of the marriage bond. This passage also shows that while there is never any excuse for sexual sin, it is to have absolutely no place in the marriage relationship. It is a serious affront not just to God, but also a violation of the intimate relationship of husband and wife. And so if you are engaging in sexual sin in your marriage relationship, Hear the grave consequences that that sin reaps in your marriage. You're destroying the one flesh relationship you have with your husband or with your wife each time you follow your sinful desires. You're also opening up the possibility of the complete separation of your relationship with your spouse. You're opening up possibility of divorce. Too many men think they're too smart to be caught in their sins or they won't have to face consequences for their sins when they are found out. Too many men think they can explain away their sinfulness. Too many women think that they are justified in their adultery. Your sins will find you out, and when they find you out, there will be horrible consequences. Hear these consequences and consider if those fleeting moments of pleasure are worth it. Is sexual sin worth the breach of the relationship in your marriage? Is it worth damage it causes to your spouse is worth the damage it causes to your children. If you're struggling with sexual sin in your marriage, I urge you to seek out help and counsel. Know with certainty that this is not the unforgivable sin. While there is shame with this sin, know that there will be greater shame if you never deal with this sin, if you never seek out help and the grace of God in dealing with this sin. And know that indeed God does grant forgiveness for this sin. Through Jesus Christ, know that he does indeed grant even victory over this sin. So seek accountability from godly people who can encourage you to have victory Sexual sin is one that has become so commonplace today that hardly anyone bats an eye at it. Yet we need to develop a tender conscience toward it. And as you repent of that sin, the Lord is pleased to grant a tender conscience. He, by his grace, grants forgiveness for a sin that leads down to the gates of hell. But by his spirit, he grants triumph and comforts. So look to Jesus Christ. Seek his forgiveness and repent. But notice here, too, that Jesus does not say you automatically have to divorce someone who is living in sexual sin. It does not say, this is a legal requirement. If someone's living in sexual sin, you have to go and divorce them. No. Once again, permission is simply granted. The Lord is emphasizing the importance of the permanency of relationship and the perspective that we as believers are to help, is at all costs, to try to maintain the marriage relationship, even in the context of sin. While the Lord makes allowances to divorce when there is sexual sin is not mandatory to divorce. Instead, as much as possible, forgiveness and repentance should be sought. But if that's not possible because of the hardness. a hard-heartedness of the adulterer, a lack of repentance, or even a scandalous nature of the particular sin that Lord in his grace and mercy does grant a way out for the spouse not involved in that adultery. Lord in his mercy grants the divorce can be a lawful and righteous response to such sin. Now there's some debate with this passage as to whether there is the allowance of the innocent party to remarry. What does Christ mean when he says, whoever divorces his wife except for sexual immorality and marries another commits adultery and whoever marries her whose divorce commits adultery. I firmly maintain that this passage allows for the remarriage of the party that hasn't committed adultery. We put Jesus's words another way. We find that they say, whoever divorces his wife in a case of sexual immorality and marries another does not commit adultery. It is only in the unlawful divorcing of the wife that adultery is committed. Divorce for any cause. Divorce for that burning of dinner or talking too loudly. That is adultery. Jesus emphasizes, too, that the wife who has been divorced for sexual immorality, when she is married to another man, that man commits adultery as well in marrying her. There's a continuation of that sinful reality. He commits adultery because he is marrying an adulteress. Now, we live in a society in which there is a lot of sinful divorces and remarriages. What is to be done in these circumstances? Hearing what God's word says about divorce and remarriage, are we to say that those who have passed before they've come to Christ, are we to say that those are without hope? No, the church must show the compassion and grace of God in such difficult circumstances. The Lord is longsuffering in our sinfulness and calls us to repentance and faith. Where there has been sinful divorce, forgiveness from God must be sought, and he freely grants that forgiveness because of the work of Jesus Christ. Divorce and remarriage for the wrong reasons is not an unpardonable sin, but God shows abundant mercy amid sin. So, for those who have a past, who have had difficult relationships in the past, I urge you to seek Christ and see the mercy and forgiveness that there is in Christ. And now that the person has a right understanding of God's law, now that the biblical grounds for divorce and remarriage are understood, earnest efforts strive earnestly to live in accordance with what God's word says. live in obedience to God's law in the circumstances that you now find yourself out of thankfulness that, yes, God has given me forgiveness and redeemed me from my sins of the past. Let me now seek to follow him as a diligent disciple. As we draw to a conclusion here, I want to encourage you to consider why the Lord has placed regulations on divorce. The Lord has placed regulation on divorce because of the great evil it is in society. Divorce isn't sin necessarily. It's certainly caused by human sin, but it's not sin necessarily, but it is an unnatural breach of relationship. Marriage is to be permanent. It is to be permanent in part because marriage is a very precious institution that God has given to us. And it is also to be permanent because marriage is a picture of the relationship of Christ and his church. What a horrible picture it would be if divorce could be granted for any cause. What hopelessness that would mean for us and our sins. God divorcing his bride for any reason. The Lord is faithful to His Word. He is ever gracious and never changes. He is ever sacrificial in His love towards us. A relationship with the Lord is a permanent relationship, one of unconditional love. And that should make us prize His divine institution all the more. And so amid a society that despises marriage and freely divorces, let us, as the people of God, show forth the beauty of faithfulness in the marriage relationship. Let's do so by proclaiming the gospel, by advocating for the biblical grounds for divorce. Let us pray. Lord, we are a sinful people. And we live in a sinful world. A world that knows the awfulness of divorce. A world in which relationship between husband and wife is breached. Relationship between parents and children is breached. Lord, we thank you that in you there is forgiveness, in you there is redemption. And Father, we pray that we would ever show forth what your word says regarding divorce, that we might ever be faithful followers of you, that we would ever prize the permanency of marriage. Lord, we pray that You would give us strength to do this. We pray in Christ's name.