You know, we live in a world that is quite permeated by thoughts about relationships, and what they ought to look like, and how you ought to think about them, and how you ought to behave within them. In fact, if you were to go on Facebook and make a new account today, and you fill out your personal bio information, one of the drop-down boxes that you select from has to do with your relationship status. Well, even though it is Valentine's Day, this morning's message will apply to every believer, no matter what your relationship status is. I just want to say that so you don't tune it out. But here are the options that you can choose from if you make a profile today on Facebook. Single. In a relationship. Engaged. Married. In a civil union. In a domestic partnership. In an open relationship, separated, divorced, widowed, or the favorite choice of some, you can simply select, it's complicated. Well, as that list of options and a few entries in particular represent, the world has ideas about what's acceptable, what's appropriate in relationships that are far different from the Bibles. You don't need to watch a sitcom very long or reality TV very long. You don't need to watch any of the movies that come out of Hollywood very long or listen to any of the music on the Billboard Top Ten list very long before you quickly understand that our world has very divergent views about what relationships ought to look like than what God outlines for us in His word, the Bible. At Thompson Road, we are a welcoming church. We believe that God loves the world and sent His Son to redeem the world so that whoever believes should not perish, but have life in Him. So no matter what you would choose from that drop-down box about what your relationship status is, we hope that we have an opportunity to minister and to be a blessing to you and to serve your family and to help you, even as you can help us, to look deeper into God's Word. and see His plan for us that's better than any human plan and so that He by His Spirit can lead us into what is right and what is wholesome and what is fulfilling and what He designed us for in a way that will glorify Him. So the Bible helps us understand that Earthly relationships are very important, whether it's the father, mother, husband, wife, child and parent, brother and sister. We know that God instituted these human relationships, that marriage was His idea, that family was His idea, that He gave the command to Adam and Eve to be fruitful and multiply and to fill the earth. We know that families are very important to God. It's the basic unit of civilization, and God has worked through families as we read the history of Scripture. It gives us many instructions in the Bible for how to behave within these relationships. He tells us that the relationship between husband and wife is to picture that between Christ and the church, and to motivate us to faithfulness and to purity. But the Bible also teaches us that to be part of the people of God is a spiritual relationship that actually trumps and supersedes any of those earthly physical relationships. Now those are important, and again, the Bible gives us instructions for how to behave within those, and God created those and ordained those, and they're good, but If you are saved, that means you become a citizen of heaven. And as such, you're part of an organism, a spiritual family, a spiritual structure, a spiritual body, part of a group that transcends any categories or statuses having to do with earthly relationships. So this morning as we continue to explore what God has for us as we seek to behave as citizens of heaven, Specifically, we'll talk this morning about citizens of heaven in earthly relationships. And so I invite you in your Bibles to turn to 1 Corinthians. And in 1 Corinthians chapters 5 through 7, Paul is going to have a lot to say about what heavenly citizens' earthly relationships ought to look like. And he does that from the perspective of addressing a church where some serious problems existed. They lived in a culture that was immoral. And that's just an understatement. I won't go into more detail than that. And just to say that Corinth was a very immoral culture. And we, 2,000 years later, on the other side of the globe, live in a very immoral culture. And so these instructions will be very relevant to us. When Jesus called His disciples to heavenly citizenship, we remember as we explored some scriptures in recent weeks, He called them to deny themselves and to take up their crosses and to follow Him. And He warned that when a believer does that, when a believer renounces earthly citizenship and earthly values and earthly pursuits, to deny those and to take up the cross and to follow that call, that it will cost us and that we will damage, it will mean forfeiture of or diminishing of many of your earthly relationships. He warned that you might lose a mother, a father, a brother or sister as a result of taking that call to heavenly citizenship. But he also promised that in doing so you would gain a hundredfold mothers and brothers and sisters in that spiritual family that again, supersedes and transcends even that very important earthly family. So whether you're a man, a woman, a boy, a girl, an orphan, someone who enjoys having a parent or both parents, maybe you're single, you're married, you're divorced, you're widowed, you're engaged, you're separated, you're thriving in a marriage, maybe you're struggling in a marriage, you're content as an independent and happy unmarried, or maybe you're hoping to find love, maybe you never had kids, maybe you have a house full of kids, maybe you had kids and you're an empty nester, whatever the case, your call to be a member of the body of Christ. And to behave as a citizen of heaven, proclaiming His praise is, again, very important, transcending all of that. And that's the idea we get from Galatians 3, a couple of verses that are on the screen here. Chapter 3 and verses 28 and 29 of that epistle, Paul writes, there is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female. For ye are all one in Christ." He's referring to spiritual realities. It's not that you stop being an individual with ethnic heritage and makeup. It's not that you stop being the physical gender that God has blessed you with when you become saved. spiritual family, your spiritual identity becomes your primary identity. If you are Christ's, then you are Abraham's seed and heirs according to the promise. Well, when Jesus was asked specifically about how our earthly relationships, specifically in terms of marriage, translate into that heavenly citizenship, specifically in the next life after this earthly life is over, you remember the Sadducees who were trying to trip Jesus up and make him look bad, asked the question about the woman who had been legitimately married seven different times and had outlived each of those husbands, and then at last she had died also. And she goes to heaven, and they're in heaven, and the Sadducees ask the question, whose spouse would she be in heaven, for they all had her as a spouse? And Jesus answered to that in Matthew 22. He said, they asked the question, therefore, in the resurrection, whose wife shall she be of the seven? For they all had her. And Jesus answered, again, this is on the screen before we get to our Corinthians text. Jesus answered and said unto them, Ye do err, knowing not the Scriptures, nor the power of God." Jesus' response showed that if they had studied Scripture, that they wouldn't even ask that question. that they would know just from even the Old Testament scriptures that the resurrection is real and that the spiritual eternal existence that far overshadows this short earthly experience transcends those human relationships. He said that they should have known better what the scripture says. They should have known better the power of God. He continued and said, for in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but as the angels in heaven." So again, marriage, very important, instituted by God, lots of instruction in Scripture for how we behave within it, but in the eternal state, it will no longer even be something that we consider. It will be like the angels. Well, what does that mean? We can gain a little insight on what that means by comparing Luke's account of this transaction, and in Luke 20, When the Sadducees posed this question in the resurrection, whose wife shall she be? Jesus answered this way. He said to them, the children of this world marry and are given in marriage. But they which shall be accounted worthy to obtain that world And the resurrection from the dead? Neither marry nor are given in marriage. So it's an earthbound, temporary, though lifelong in terms of our physical existence, relationship. And this is what he says that helps us know, how are we like the angels then? Do we sprout wings? Do we generate a halo? No, they cannot die anymore, is what Jesus means. Verse 36, neither can they die anymore for they are equal unto the angels. That's how you'll be like the angels. If you're saved, you go to heaven someday, you'll be like the angels in that you can't die anymore. And you'll be one of the children of God, being the children of the resurrection. So in the eternal state, We won't have those human bound relationships, rather we'll be equal to the angels in terms of our immortality and we'll be children of God and that will be the most important, already is the most important relationship in which we engage and our primary focus throughout eternity. All right, so in the book of 1 Corinthians, Paul is helping his readers to see that in this short and fleeting pilgrimage, this life of exile, that we as earthly believers, we have to live here, right? And we have these relationships, right? And marriage is good, and singleness is good, and being widowed is fine, and all of these other, if you have children, or parents, or siblings, or you're an only child, all of these or you find yourself in situations beyond your control, you find yourself in situations that you maybe had been in your control, you're no longer able to change, the Bible instructs us, how do we live purely? How do we live in a way that values that eternal relationship as a son or daughter of the creator of the universe, equal with the angels throughout eternity, over the temporary? And in so doing, How do we culture and nurture these human relationships that God has blessed us with in a way that is pleasing to Him and will translate into an investment in that eternal existence? So, a lengthy passage, you notice here that we're dealing with 1 Corinthians 5 through 7. We won't read every verse. Some difficult material, and Paul's going to address some uncomfortable topics and even get into some passages that are very difficult to interpret, but we're just going to seek to distill and kind of condense out a few applications that will be timeless biblical principles applicable to every man, woman, boy, and child who lives and wants to please God as a believer. and just helpful scriptural truths that you maybe already know, but because of the culture we live in when we're bombarded with this idea that a relationship has no boundaries, that there's no set definition, that anything goes, and we're bombarded by immorality. And then we have those temptations with our own flesh. So let's just review together and submit to you eight biblical principles that the Bible sets forth for us for how we ought to behave within our earthly human relationships. All right, number one is never entertain a relationship that is outside of God's boundaries. Again, nothing that should be new to any of us, but something unfortunately, again, because of our culture, because of the inklings of our hearts, we need to be reminded of often, don't we? And Paul opens 1 Corinthians 5 and says it's reported commonly that there's fornication among you. That fornication refers to immorality, impurity. Such fornication is not so much named among the Gentiles that one should have his father's wife. A man having a relationship with his mother-in-law. It was outside of God's boundaries for what a relationship ought to be. Paul is appalled by this and he writes to correct this and says that this man and this woman and the church in Corinth should be ashamed. Because no believer should ever entertain a relationship that is outside of God's boundaries. Well, again, the world, everyone has mentioned eight principles. We'll go over every one of these. We'll be scoffed at by the world. There's not one of these eight principles that's politically correct in the social climate in which we live. But the Bible gives us the guidebook, God's guidebook, for what is truly best. And we believe that by faith. And we cling to, by conviction, by assurance, by substance, that though following those principles will mean surrendering some earthly pleasure, sacrifice, denying some earthly inklings, that heavenly reward will make it far worth it. And that God's blessing will be on those who choose to live by the power of the Holy Spirit in compliance with the principles that he gives to us. I had a display table in the cafeteria at Southport High School for some years and got a chance to interact with students as they ate their lunch. Not very often that students would come to talk to me, but there was a girl, a student who was familiar with Thompson Road, had visited a handful of times, and she asked me for advice one day. She said, Pastor Joel, I'm in a situation that I need some help with. My boyfriend and I really like each other and our relationship is starting to get serious, but I'm a Christian and I just found out that he's an atheist. What should I do? And I felt so bad for this young lady and tried to give her what the Bible says about what our approach to relationships ought to be. And as you look, even as your Bibles are open to 1 Corinthians at chapter 6 and verse 14, that the Bible tells us, I've got the, that's not the right reference. But the Bible tells us not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers for what fellowship has light with darkness. What fellowship does a believer have with an unbeliever that are close relationships on earth? Ought to be with fellow believers. And of course the advice for that is never get there to begin with. That wasn't helpful. That's not what I told this girl. That wouldn't be helpful for her, but it might be helpful for you. not to find yourself in that situation because you would never even entertain the idea of entering into a relationship until you have confirmed through prayer and Scripture and counsel that this would be a relationship that meets and falls within the guidelines, the boundaries that God has set, not to keep us from what is good, but to protect us from what is harmful. And so we ask important questions before ever entertaining a relationship. Is this fulfilling God's instruction in Scripture? Do my spiritual mentors and counselors affirm that this is a good decision? Have I gotten peace through prayer? Is this something I can thank God for and openly bring before God and ask for His blessing upon? Never entertain a relationship. that's outside of God's boundaries. And each one of us, some will be brief, some will be prolonged and intense, will have opportunities or temptations where the boundary is clear and what lures is on the other side of that boundary. We live by this principle, never, never to entertain a relationship that is outside of God's boundary. Number two, never to allow an illicit relationship, any relationship outside of God's boundaries, to go unchecked in the church. And that's what Paul's addressing in specific. Not only that this bad thing had happened of this immoral relationship, but that the church had basically turned a blind eye to it and tried to look the other way and act like it wasn't happening and allowed this person to continue to be part of the church fellowship and body. And verse 2 says, you are puffed up and have not rather mourned. that he that hath done this deed might be taken away from among you. That when there's open sin that's not being confessed, repented of, and dealt with, that that is a cause for church discipline. So verse 6 says, your glory is not good. Know ye not that a little leaven leavens the whole lump? Purge out therefore the old leaven, that ye may be a new lump. So as a church, we have the responsibility to purge out any relationship in the church that is illicit. Now again, the world says there's no such thing as an illicit relationship. The world says it's not the church's business. What I do is my business, and what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. That's not the scriptural view. When you join a church, when I join a church, you and I submit to the mutual accountability that says, your business is my business. When it comes to spiritual things that the Bible speaks to, we are to call each other into account over the instructions the Bible clearly gives us in regard to relationships. Number three, don't associate with believers who engage in immorality. So the idea is that immorality can't go unchecked in the church. It must be disciplined out. But even outside the church, as you're a believer and you come in contact with other professing believers who lead an immoral lifestyle, joke about these things, tend toward these things, are flirtatious with these things, that this would not be someone we associate with. This isn't the person you share an apartment with. This isn't the person you go on your fishing trips with. This isn't the person that you have intimate friendships with. Verse 9 says, I wrote unto you in an epistle not to company with fornicators. someone who's leading an immoral lifestyle, you ought to pray for them. If a brother or sister in Christ has been ensnared by a relationship or a habit that is against God's direction, we ought to seek to encourage them and to, through scripture, counsel them toward the right path. But in the meantime, we don't accompany them, we don't spend time with them, we don't company with them. And he's talking specifically about believers, verse 10, yet not altogether with fornicators of this world, Or with the covetous or extortioners or adulterers, for then must ye needs go out of the world." He's saying we know that you're going to have to come into contact with and company with unsaved people who lead immoral lifestyles. Yeah, it's not that you expect that everyone you go to work with and everyone in your neighborhood is going to follow a biblical standard. No, we know that it's going to be in the world. But verse 11, I've written unto you, not to keep company if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator. Number four, run away from immorality. We never entertain a relationship outside God's boundaries. When that exists in the church, we cast it out. We don't have close associations with someone who's openly leading that kind of lifestyle, not seeking repentance and restoration. But for each of us at a personal level, and again, all of these, they supersede. No matter what your relationship status is, or desire is, or past is, we all must run from immorality. Skip ahead to verse 9 and we'll just kind of summarize what Paul's argument that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God. Be not deceived, neither fornicators, nor adulterers, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind. None of these people, the end of verse 10 says, shall inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you, verse 11, but ye are washed. When you became a heavenly citizen, you renounced that kind of lifestyle and are now bound not to return to it. Meats for the belly, verse 13, the belly for meats, but God shall destroy both it and them. The body's not for fornication, but for the Lord. So this body needs food to live. There are physical realities of our life that are necessary, but they're temporary. This body's going to be destroyed someday, and what's more important is the relationship with the Lord. And so, verse 18 of chapter 6, flee fornication. Flee fornication. Run away from immorality. Animals have the flight or fight instinct, right? I guess we as humans have that too. So if a raccoon mother is protecting her baby raccoons, and along comes a rabbit, she'll fight. The mother raccoon will fight, probably even if it's a badger, or if it's even a fox, the mother might fight. But if it's a grizzly bear, flight. If it's a mountain lion, flight. And we have to have spiritual instincts based on the temptations that we face. There are times in Scripture where we're told when it comes to temptation to stand firm and to advance and to hold our ground, not when it comes to temptations to immorality. And those temptations were specifically told to flee. Don't think that you can stand there and fight that. Don't think that you can strengthen your resolve and will by showing your determination in the presence of that. That would be like standing in a building where every room is ablaze with fire and thinking, I can handle this. No, you can't. You have to run and get out. You cannot play with fire and your clothes not be burned. The world is different. The world is going to run toward immorality. And as we get into 1 Peter, we'll see in chapter 4 and verse 4 that they think it's strange that you run not with them to the same excess of riot. Proverbs 6, in discussing the seven sins that God hates, one of those is feet that are swift and running to mischief. That same book warns us in the next chapter about the man who follows immorality in his feet. He goes after her straightway as an ox goeth to the slaughter, or as a fool to the correction of the stocks. The world runs to immorality, not knowing that it is for their own destruction. Believers. Like Joseph in the Old Testament, when tempted by Potiphar's wife, ran away. We must run away from immorality. Number five, remember your body belongs to God. It belongs to God. Verse 19, know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost? which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own. For ye are bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's." When you got saved, if you trusted Christ as Savior, the Lord didn't just win and gain possession of your soul. No, every aspect of your being is now His possession. And so your body belongs to him. Again, counter-cultural, what does the world say? My body, my choice, don't tell me what to do with my body. We recognize as believers that this fleshly temple is not our body, it is the bought and paid for possession of God, and we are responsible to use it as he instructs. Now, there's a special instruction if you're married. For those who are married, remember your body also belongs to your spouse. That's kind of a sub-point. Chapter 7, verse 4 says, So this Subpoint does have a specific application for married people. Your body belongs first to God, but in a second earthly sense to your spouse. If you're not married, your body, all you think about is that it belongs to God. Number six, recognize that any intimacy outside of marriage is immoral. And so Paul opens chapter seven with these words, concerning things which, whereof you wrote unto me, this is a question apparently the Corinthians had about what should I do, what can I do, what can unmarried people do? It's good for a man not to touch a woman. And Paul is not here advocating touchless greeting. It doesn't mean you can't shake hands. It doesn't mean no high fives. But that touch is a reference to intimate touch. And he is instructing that any intimacy outside of marriage is immoral. Number seven, recognize that the relationship status to which God leads you is His gift to you. Some of these things are uncomfortable. Some of these things we'd rather skip over and not talk about. And because it's awkward and because it's things that even for some of us in our own flesh, the battle is very real. But these last two points, just very encouraging, uplifting reminders that will help you put into perspective all of these things that's so confusing in our minds and our hearts and our bodies are pulled one way and our spirit is pulled the other way and the things that we wish we could not do we find ourselves doing and the things we want ourselves to do we find ourselves failing to follow through with. And so here's the big picture. Here's something to keep in mind that will help you to be content and to thrive and to continue to be faithful and to live as a heavenly citizen even within your earthly relationships. One, recognize, this is number seven, that the relationship status that God leads you to, it's His gift for you. And chapter seven and verse seven puts it this way, for I would that all men were even as I myself, but here it is, every man hath his proper gift of God. One after this manner, another after that." The devil wants you to miss this. The devil wants you to think, oh, that person's in a relationship. I sure wish I had a relationship like that. Well, that person looks over and says, that person's not in a relationship. I wish I had that freedom like that. And the Bible warns us that Satan wants us to compare ourselves among ourselves and to think that some other status that isn't mine is always better and the grass is always greener somewhere else. But the reality is, God has given Every man, his proper gift, one after this manner, one after that. God has led you to a relationship status. If you're in a relationship status that is within his moral boundaries, that is best for you. and where you can thrive in serving him, and where you can actually be the most content. Now that doesn't mean your relationship status will never change, or ought never change, can never change. In fact, Paul will tell us that if you're single or if you're widowed, here's some very helpful advice for you. It's okay to stay unmarried, and it's okay to get married. All right, and here's how he puts it in verse eight. Therefore, to the unmarried and widows, It's good for them to abide even as I. Remain single. That's a good thing. Or, verse 9, if they cannot contain, let them marry. It's better to marry than to burn. In essence, to burn with passion. So, to stay unmarried is good. To get married is good. And no matter which one God leads you to, that's His gift for you. And you can know that God has gifted other people differently. And what God gifts you with is best for you, what God gifts someone else in is best for them, and as long as we follow His guidelines and as long as we're seeking Him first, that's where we'll be most fulfilled and most content, because that's a gift to give. Sometimes you get a gift and you say, I would have preferred something else. I've gotten gifts before where I said, I preferred something else, but this gift turns out to be one of the more useful gifts that I didn't anticipate a use for, that I didn't know I needed, but that's always the way it is with God's gifts. Whether it looks like the best gift for you or whether you would have picked something else, what God gives is always what is best for you. If you're married, obviously, we want to do everything we can to keep that marriage together. What does the world say? If you're unhappy, walk away. What does the Bible say? Do what you can to keep that marriage together. Verse 10, to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord. Let not the wife depart from her husband. Oh, God has joined together, let not man put asunder. And there are reasons for that. That even if you find yourself in a marriage relationship with someone that doesn't even know the Lord. I'm not talking about staying in an abusive relationship. And the Bible is going to give us specific instructions that have to do with abandonment and adultery and so forth. But even if you find yourself in a relationship with an unsaved person who's willing to keep the marriage together, verse 14 says, the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife. The unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband. So for your spouse's sake, you have a unique evangelistic opportunity to lead that person to Christ as they see your daily walk, as they see your faithful submission to the Lord, as they see your good representation of what a Christian spouse ought to be. Now that's never an excuse to enter into a relationship with someone who's not married because you want to evangelize them. No, but if you get saved after you're married, or maybe you get saved thinking that person, or get married thinking that person is saved, you find yourself in this unequal yoke. Find it as an opportunity to evangelize for your spouse's sake and for any children's sake. The end of verse 14 says, else will your children unclean, but now they're holy. If there's a divorce, often that means a split time with the kids, less time with the kids. You have maximum opportunity to invest and nurture in your children and to shepherd them to the Lord if you stay in that relationship as long as you're biblically able. For the Lord's sake, for the spouse's sake, for the children's sake. We know God hates divorce. We do too. People who have divorce hate divorce. Everyone hates divorce, except for lawyers, right? Some of them. But number eight, and finally, commit to thrive for God wherever He puts you. I love verse 17, which says, but as the Lord hath distributed to every man, Whatever gift God has given to you, whatever position God has put you in, determine that you're going to walk in that in a way that's pleasing to Him. You're going to thrive for God wherever He puts you. The culture says, heart, go wherever you'll feel best, wherever you'll feel pulled to. The Bible tells us to keep our heart, to guard our hearts with all diligence. The Bible warns us that there's a way that seems right to a man, but at the end they're over the ways of death, that we can't trust our heart, that it's deceitful and desperately wicked. So we follow God's guidelines, we look at where He's put us, we look at the boundaries that He's set, and we commit to thrive for Him wherever that is. Whether you're single, divorced, separated, widowed, don't be preoccupied with trying to get into an earthly relationship. Verse 27, art thou bound to a wife? Seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? Seek not a wife. So if you are unmarried right now, don't be preoccupied with trying to get into that relationship. And certainly if you're married right now, verse 27 would imply, don't be preoccupied with wishing you were out of that relationship or trying to dissolve it. Rather, just seek to commit to thrive for God wherever He puts you. Doesn't mean your relationship status will never change. It means your focus is on God and your walk with Him and you let Him lead the way. Rather than being preoccupied with what's horizontal, I'm preoccupied with the vertical relationship, walking by faith and allowing Him to bring everything else into line. So don't try to get rid of, you know, even a, I know spouses, some of you are people, you know, have been in situations where it's difficult. Once an audience of wives was asked, wives, if you could choose between your husband and a million dollars, if you could choose between your husband and a million dollars, what is the first thing you would buy? It's a lighthearted joke. Of course, we don't think that way. We want to commit to thrive wherever God has put us. I had the one for the husbands at the starting. I had to throw in one for the wives there, too. A couple more verses as we close out the passage. Look at verse 29. What is this I say, brethren? The time is short. It remaineth that both they that have wives be as though they had none, they that weep as though they wept not, and they that rejoice as though they rejoiced not, they that buy as though they possessed not, and they that use this world as abusing it for the fashion of this world passeth away." It's just a reminder that these relationships that we can be so enamored with, it's all going to be history soon. that we don't put all our eggs in this earthly basket, because all of these time-bound, temporal, transient things that so easily can occupy and preoccupy our passions and our energies and our resources, that it's all going away. That in a moment, that as a vapor, that in a twinkling of an eye, all of it will say goodbye to, and all that's going to matter is how you used it to live for God. How you treated those that he put you with in a way that's pleasing to him and that guides them toward a close walk with him. So maybe if someone was taking a survey and they asked you, what's your relationship status? And you want to have an eternal view as a citizen of heaven, given the option single, in a relationship, engaged, married, in a civil union, in a domestic partnership, in an open relationship, separated, divorced, widowed, or it's complicated, Maybe your answer would be, I am in a committed relationship spiritually with the God of the universe, with him as my father, he as my father, with me as his child, and along with my millions of spiritual siblings, I am a member of the church, which is the spiritual bride of Christ, and I seek to live my life in a way that is pure and loyal to him. The survey taker would say, so it's complicated. In an earthly perspective, I suppose it is. But with heaven's perspective, with the Bible's perspective, it doesn't have to be. You just give your life to God. Surrender your heart to God. Give your earthly relationships to God. Subordinate your immediate earthly relationships under and in submission to that ultimate heavenly relationship. Guard your heart from sin. Guard your heart from harmful intractions. Commit to be pure in all of those earthly relationships. Follow the instructions that God gives us in his word and live for his kingdom as a citizen of heaven. For those who have made mistakes, committed transgressions in areas, as did Abraham, as did Jacob, as did Judah, as did Samson, as did David, as did Solomon, as did the woman at the well, we know that God brings healing and we're thankful for his grace and for restoration He wants you to confess and forsake and repent that. You can break off an unhealthy situation, an unhealthy relationship, an unhealthy habit that is outside of God's boundaries. You can do that today. He doesn't want you to live in shame and guilt and defeat. He doesn't want you to be defined by past circumstances. No, you can't change the past, but no matter who you are, no matter what your stage in life, we can all and let us all determine from this day forward to pursue purity, to live by God's relationship standards, not the world's, not our flesh's. to yield to the Holy Spirit, to let Him grow us as people of character, as people of integrity, as people of purity, as people of holiness, as He works through us so that we might be pleasing to Him. Don't follow your heart. Follow God. Give your heart to Him, and everything else He will bring into place.