Turn with me, if you will, to Zechariah 9 again. The title of my message this morning is, All Eyes on Christ, Zechariah 9. The burden of the word of the Lord in the land of Hadrik and Damascus shall be the rest thereof, when the eyes of man, as of all the tribes of Israel, shall be toward the Lord. When I began preparing this message and read that opening verse of this chapter, I thought to myself, I am so thankful, that at least once a year the eyes of all men everywhere, like it or not, the eyes of all men everywhere are turned toward the Lord. This day, throughout the world, Every man, woman, and child in the world is compelled by divine providence to acknowledge the fact that once Jesus Christ, God's darling Son, took on himself human flesh, lived on this earth, and died upon a Roman cross, died to put away our sins, to save His people from their sins. That can be said of no other man who ever lived. Once every year, all men, Hindu, Buddhist, Jew, Christian, Muslim, all men have their minds turned toward the Lord. For us, this is a time of great joy. I hope you all recognize, you young children as well as older, we place absolutely no significance upon any of the religious traditions connected with what's called Christmas Day. There is absolutely no possibility that the Lord Jesus Christ was born at Bethlehem on December the 25th. That is nothing but papal superstition left over from Babylonian idolatry, and it is carried over now by papal idolatry. We place no significance whatsoever upon December the 25th, but we rejoice to remember the incarnation of Jesus Christ our Lord. There is this day joy in Israel. You remember in 1 Chronicles, Chapter 12, the mighty men of Israel, all the wise men of understanding, came to Hebron to make David king. And there was joy in Israel. Well, there should be. At last the civil war in the land was ended. At last David had come to where he should be on his throne, and the king God had promised and God had purposed, the man of God's right hand with whom God was pleased, that man sat on his throne. And the people had a three-day feast. For three days they partied in celebration of the fact that David now sat on his throne. How much more might we rejoice and give thanks to our God and feast before him this day? because Jesus Christ, David's great son, the Son of God, our Savior, the Messiah, has come. He has finished his work. Warfare is over, and he sits on his throne. The prophet Isaiah spoke of it in these words, O Lord, thou art my God, I will exalt thee. I will praise thy name, for thou hast done wonderful things. Thy counsels of old are faithfulness and truth. He will destroy in this mountain the face of the covering cast over all people, and the veil that is spread over all nations. He will swallow up death in victory, and the Lord God shall wipe away tears from all faces, and the rebuke of His people shall He take away from all the earth, for the Lord hath spoken it. And in that day it shall be said, Lo, this is our God. We have waited for Him. He will save us. This is the Lord. We've waited for Him. We will be glad and rejoice in His salvation. So I say, let all Israel rejoice. Christ has come. And the eyes of all are surely fixed upon Him, just as ours are. That's the message of Zechariah chapter 9. This chapter was written 550 years before our Lord Jesus actually rode into Jerusalem, as is described in the gospel narratives in Matthew 21, for example. riding on a wild ass's coat, he rode into Jerusalem just exactly as the prophet Zechariah here describes him. Zechariah not only gives us a detailed, exact description of the way the Lord Jesus would come to his people 550 years later, but he gives us a complete description of his person and his work, of his glory and his beauty, as the God-man, our Savior, the King of salvation. This ninth chapter begins with a phrase that normally implies great heaviness and sorrow, the burden of the word of the Lord. But here, you can almost read it, the joy of the word of the Lord. And you'll see that clearly. There's nothing in this chapter but good news. There's not a single word of woe, of condemnation, of wrath, of judgment, but it is all good news. The prophet here speaks of God's salvation as it is brought to and wrought in his elect among the Gentiles out of the four corners of the earth. The burden of the word of the Lord in the land of Hadrach and Damascus. Now watch this. shall be the rest thereof. The burden, that which seems to many to be a great matter of heaviness and sorrow, that which seems to many of you here today a matter of great heaviness and sorrow because it is a word of wrath and condemnation provoking your guilt and provoking your own rebellion against God. But it shall be the rest thereof. When? When the eyes of man as of all the tribes of Israel, as it is with all God's elect, shall be toward the Lord." Read this blessed promise in connection with the last verse of chapter 8. Thus saith the Lord of hosts, In those days it shall come to pass, that ten men shall take hold out of all languages of the nations, even shall take hold of the skirt of him that is a Jew, saying, We will go with you, for we have heard that God is with you. The burden of the word of the Lord in the land of Hadrach. and Damascus shall be the rest thereof, when the eyes of men, as of all the tribes of Israel, shall be toward the Lord." Who is that man? It is that man who is a Jew, upon whose skirt sinners lay hold And he is himself the Lord, our God, our Savior, that one toward whom men everywhere look. Now obviously, obviously, Zechariah is not here talking about the mere observance of the fact that Jesus Christ once lived upon the earth. Somehow people have the notion that because men and women decorate for the holidays, and they put up Christmas trees, and they observe Christmas, and they go to Christmas mass, or they go to Christmas programs or Christmas services, and they want to fight to make Wal-Mart employees say Merry Christmas instead of Happy Holidays. They suppose they must have some interest in God. Nothing could be further from the truth. Nothing could be further from the truth. That's not what Zachariah is talking about. In these verses, Zechariah is talking about men and women beholding Jesus Christ the Lord by faith, being toward the Lord in hope, being turned toward the Lord in confident expectation. In fact, in verse 17, we are plainly told that this is a prophecy of God the Holy Spirit bending the hearts of rebel sinners to the Savior in this gospel day by the omnipotent power of his irresistible grace. He said, when I have bent Judah toward me. Oh, blessed Savior, send forth your Spirit in the power of saving mercy today to perform this great work in the hearts of chosen redeemed sinners and make the burden of the word of the Lord a rest unto our hearts. The eyes of man, the eyes of man shall be toward the Lord. Now without question, the prophet's words first and foremost must be understood of that one man specifically mentioned in the previous verse, him that is a Jew, the Lord Jesus Christ, Emmanuel, who is God with us, upon whose skirt we take hold, trusting his righteousness alone for acceptance with our God. The eyes of our glorious head and our representative, Jesus Christ himself, always were and always are toward the Lord. From everlasting His eyes have been toward Jehovah, the Father, our Father, and His Father. Before the world began is our covenant surety. You can read it in the 40th Psalm. The Lord Jesus said, Lo, I come in the volume of the book it is written of me. I delight to do thy will, O my God. Turn back there, in fact, and read Psalm 40. Read this 40th Psalm with me, beginning at verse 6. These are words spoken by our Savior before he came into the world. They were spoken by him as our covenant surety, declaring that which was upon his heart from everlasting. He said, sacrifice and offering thou didst not desire. What do you mean God doesn't desire sacrifice and offerings? Exodus? through the book of Deuteronomy, those last four books in the writings of Moses, commonly called the Law, are full of instruction about sacrifices. I mean, God said you can't come to me, He said you come this way. You must come in the morning this way, in the evening this way, on the Sabbath day this way, at the end of the month this way, on every 49th year this way. This is the only way you can come. You bring these sacrifices and you can't bring any other sacrifices. You must come with these sacrifices by this priest to this altar. You can't come to me any other way. I'll only meet you on the mercy seat. And the Lord Jesus said sacrifice and offering thou didst not desire. What a contradiction, only if you don't understand the sacrifices and offerings. Those sacrifices and offerings were strictly enforced by law, by law from God himself, because all those sacrifices and offerings required in the law were but symbols and pictures of one great sacrifice and offering, and that's Jesus Christ our Lord. Our Savior says, you didn't require the blood of bulls and goats. What fool, other than a religious fool, would ever imagine that God's justice could be satisfied and righteousness could be established by offering the blood of a calf, or the blood of a goat, or the blood of your sons and daughters? And yet, folks imagine that they can come to God and win His favor by sacrifices, by sacrificing a little time. In a little bit, folks are going to put ashes on their head, you know, quit eating spinach for a few days and call it a sacrifice. Now I feel close to God because I've done something. You fool. You fool. You might as well take and rip the baby out of your wife's womb and offer it to God. He won't have it. In fact, he said, such sacrifices are as though you had offered a man's blood. Well, what is our Lord saying? He says, Mine ears hast thou opened. You required one sacrifice, me, one servant, me. Burnt offering and sin offering hast thou not required. Then said I, Lo, I come in the volume of the book that is written to me. I delight to do thy will, O my God, yea, thy law is within my heart. Not only the law of your predestined will and the law of your commandments of righteousness, but all the law portrayed in these sacrifices. I delight to do thy will, O my God. I have preached righteousness in the great congregation. Lo, I have not refrained my lips, O Lord, Thou knowest. I have not hid Thy righteousness within my heart. I have declared Thy faithfulness and Thy salvation. I have not concealed Thy lovingkindness and Thy truth from the great congregation. Our Savior, as our covenant surety, had on His heart and in His mind the will and the glory of the Lord turned to the Lord for us as He came forth into this world. He quotes this very psalm in Hebrews chapter 10, giving us these very same words as He's coming into the world. I can almost picture As our Lord Jesus breaks his mother's will, as he comes into this world, he cries, Lo, now I come to do thy will, O my God. And all the while he was upon this earth, he said to his parents, Wish you not, I must be about my father's business. And then at last, our covenant surety. when he hung upon the cursed tree, had his heart set toward the Lord Jehovah, his Father and our Father. He said as he approached the cross, I have glorified thee on the earth. I have finished the work which thou gavest me to do. But as surely as our surety's eyes are turned toward the Lord, the eyes of God's elect, the redeemed of the earth, the eyes of man, the eyes of every chosen sinner, chosen of God and loved of God, as the tribes of Israel must and ultimately shall be toward Jehovah the Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, looking to him alone for redemption, grace, salvation, and eternal life. is looking to Him. Looking to Him. As a child looks to his father. The days are gone now. For some of us, our children are grown. But when they were little, they looked to us for everything. With nobody else to clothe them but us. Doctors that got dirty, they didn't look up at... Faith learned early not to look at me. She looked up to her mama. They looked to us. Because there's nobody else there to take care of them. They got hungry, they looked to us. There's nobody else to feed them. They needed something to calm them when they were fearful, they looked to us. I remember West Virginia, the lightning seemed to get real close to the house. Faith was a little girl. Man, when the thunder would roll and the lightning flash, even if I didn't see it or hear it, you'd bank on it. Half a second, that little girl was on top of my chest. Just snuggled down as tight as she could be. How come? There was nobody else to care for her. Nobody else to protect her. That's what it is to look to Him. Salvation is looking to Christ. Oh, look away. Look away. Look away from yourself. Look away from all else. Look away to Jesus Christ the Lord and live. Our text asserts, the eyes of man, as of all the tribes of Israel, that is to say, all the host of God chosen, shall look as one upon the Lord Jesus Christ. Just as Israel looked upon the serpent Moses raised up before them in the wilderness. That's just as it should be, isn't it? It is he whom God the Father has exalted. It is He to whom the triune God has given all preeminence. It is He who is all and in all. Where or to whom else should we look but to Him for wisdom and righteousness and sanctification and redemption, for pardon and forgiveness and justification, for peace and preservation and everlasting glory? Shall not the eyes of the chosen be toward him, toward him whom God the Father unceasingly looks to? Shall we not trust him whom the triune God trusted from eternity? No mortal can imagine, let alone describe, the infinite complacency and delight with which the Father sets his heart toward him. He looks on him. He has looked on him, and he shall forever look on him alone to magnify his law and make it honorable, to bring in everlasting righteousness, to satisfy justice, to save his people, to put away their sins, to glorify him, Therefore, our Lord Jesus said, doth my Father love me, because I lay down my life for the sheep? I lay it down that I might take it again. If God the Father loves Christ as our God-man mediator for undertaking and accomplishing by the sacrifice of himself our everlasting redemption, Did you hear that? That's what he said in John 10, 17. Therefore doth my Father love me, because I have undertaken to save my people, and I have saved my people by the sacrifice of myself. Therefore doth my Father love me, if the Father loves him for having redeemed us. Oh, my brother Claude, how we ought to love him. If the Father constantly beholds Him with His heart toward Him with complete complacency, satisfaction, and delight, if He beholds Him rapturously as our Redeemer, how much more ought we who are redeemed by Him to rapturously behold Him? O Spirit of God, let my heart, my eyes, My whole soul be fixed upon my Redeemer. Then shall the word of the Lord be rest to this sinner. Set my heart toward Him. Bend my heart toward Him until every affection of my being goes out wholly to Him and constantly to Him. Some of you. Now, hearing my voice, are yet unbroken, unbent, unbound. Your eyes are turned to yourself and to the world. To put it simply, to vanity. Just vanity. Oh, may God the Holy Spirit turn you toward Christ. Set the eyes of your soul and your heart upon Christ. May He give you faith to behold Him In this chapter, God the Holy Spirit not only gives us this prophetic description of our Savior's first advent, He describes how the Lord Jesus comes to sinners in the mighty operations of His saving grace. He tells us how the Son of God causes chosen sinners to look to Him. As I've told you so many times, Whenever we read the scriptures, particularly historic narratives and prophecies that have application to historic things, let us first and foremost find from God the Spirit how the prophecy, how the narrative speaks to us about our Redeemer and His grace. Let me show you seven things here. Seven things that I assure you, seven things I promise you. Seven things God the Holy Spirit here shows you, He will do for you if ever He causes you to turn to Him. If ever the Son of God comes to you in saving mercy, if ever He's pleased to pass your way, spread His skirt over you, and say to you, live, these seven things He will do. He will do them. There are no exceptions. Do them to everyone. First, when the Lord Jesus comes to save, He will destroy you. I never pay too awful much attention. When I get letters or telephone calls or somebody comes by to visit with me or meet me at the church and kind of nonchalantly says, well, I sure would like to be saved. I don't pay too much attention to it. I don't get too excited about it. Somebody says, well, I believe the Lord is beginning to speak to me. I don't pay too much attention to that. But if you meet me at the door this morning, you wait around after everybody else has left, and you say, Pastor, I'm lost. I'm going to hell. I'm fire from the inside out. And I tried, and there's not one good thing I can do, because there's nothing good in me. Now let's sit down and talk. I've got something you need to hear. The first thing Christ does when He comes to save is to destroy. Read it in verses 2 through 8. He only saves those who need saving. All the fitness He requireth is to feel your need of Him. This He gives you. This He gives you. Tis the Spirit's rise in thee. Did you ever notice in the scriptures, when the scriptures speak of His work, remember how Hannah prayed? She said, the Lord killeth and maketh alive. That sounds strange, doesn't it? He first gave you life, didn't He, didn't He? So you're sitting here, and one of these days He's going to kill you. You're going to leave him. Well, can't we talk about anything physical then, can we? Oh, no. We're talking about spiritual things. He'll never give you life till he slays you. He wounds, and then he heals. He strips, then he clothes. He empties, then He fills. He brings you down that He may lift you up. He causes you to fall before Him in a basement that He may exalt you in due season with His grace. That's what's portrayed here in verses 2 through 8. First, He destroys the wisdom of the wise, we're told in verse 2, making them fools. He takes the wise in their own craftiness. We are become Fools, for Christ's sake. You'll never learn anything as long as you think, like Paris and Sidon, that you're very wise. You'll never learn anything about God until you find out you don't know anything. You'll never learn anything about yourself until you find out you don't know anything. You'll never be made wise until you are made to know your ignorance. He destroys the riches that men and women ignorantly imagine they have by which they think to make themselves secure. Tyrus built a stronghold, heaped up silver like dust and fine gold like mud in the streets. What's that talking about? Is it evil for a person to try to make better in the world, to provide some security for his old age? No. No, that's not evil. That's perfectly all right. That's all right. What's he talking about? Michael Campbell is horribly evil for you and me to try to find a refuge for ourselves from God and to heap up riches of righteousness and good works. Until He makes you poor in spirit, He'll never fill you with His mercy. But in verse 4, He comes to chosen sinners, and when He does, He casts them out in His wrath and devours them with fire, that He might gather them with mercy and feed them with grace. Look at verse 5. Our Lord abases and humbles, turning your hope and your expectation to shame. See what he says of Echrod? Her expectation shall be ashamed. Ask a man why he hopes to go to heaven when he dies. I'll tell you what he'll do. I'll tell you what, 99 out of 100 baddest folks. Let's leave the other folks alone. Let's just talk about our own kind. 99 out of 100, I'll tell you what they'll do. Why do you hope to go to heaven when you die? What makes you think you're saved? Well, I remember. Well, I used to be. I don't do. And I believe in Jesus. I remember hell. I had a wonderful experience when I was a little boy. When I was a young man, I trusted the Lord. I got saved. What about folks who know God? The others don't. Oh, I trust Christ. That's all. But what do you know? I trust Christ. What's your experience? I trust Christ. Well, what's your confidence? I trust Christ. But there's got to be more! Any more is an expectation I once had, of which I am now utterly ashamed. A hope I once entertained, of which now I'm totally ashamed. Look at verse 6. If ever the Lord God saves you by His grace, He'll humble you in the dust, break your pride, and cause you to lie as a hopeless, helpless, fatherless bastard before Him. Can't talk like that. Until he makes you know you're a bastard, he'll never make you his son. Read it. And a bastard shall dwell in Ashdod, and I will cut off the prime of the Philistines. A bastard is one with no father. No father. Oh, obviously somebody sired them, but they have no father. That's one who has no claim to a father. One who has No reason to expect anyone to treat them as a father. Thank God he once made me a pastor. Folks have been trying to convince me all my life I was one of his sons. And I was pretty well convinced until Christ revealed himself in me. And when he makes you to know that you are a fatherless pastor, Then he sends his Spirit into your heart, making you the sons and daughters of God whole. Blessed humiliation that brings us to be seated among the sons of God. Verse 7, in a word, this is what he'll do. When he comes to save a sinner, he'll destroy every false god that he may be your God. He'll take away the blood, your blood, the blood of your sacrifices, out of your mouth, your abominations. What's that talking about? All your religious feasting and fasting and sacrificing. Your abominations, those things upon which you feed yourself with delight. He'll make those things to be pulled from between your teeth. But he that remaineth, listen to this, even he shall be for our God. Mr. Spurgeon once said, the first thing we have to do in preaching the gospel is get folks lost. But I can't do that. I can't do that. I can preach you low, but I can't make you low. I can preach you empty, but I can't make you empty. I can preach you helpless, but I can't make you helpless. I can preach you lost, but I can't make you lost. Oh, but if God's Holy Spirit will speak by His Word, He will. He will. He will destroy your high opinion of yourself that keeps you from Christ. And your high opinion of yourself needs to be destroyed. Nothing else keeps you from Christ. Nothing else. It's not your sin that keeps you from trusting the Savior. Sin never kept anybody from Him. It's your high opinion of yourself that keeps you from Him. When the Spirit of God comes, and the Lord Jesus has swept away every refuge of lies, He Himself will be your strength, your shield, your rock, and your salvation. Look at the 8th verse. If you fail to understand the first seven verses, just as I've explained them, the eighth verse won't mean a thing to you. But if you understand what I've been talking about, he says, I will encamp, not but, not yet, but and, and. This is the follow-up to all I've been talking about. I will encamp about mine house because of the army, those who would seek to destroy, because of him that passeth by, and because of him that returneth, and no oppressor shall pass through them any more. For now have I seen with mine eyes, I give them eternal life. And no man shall pluck them out of my hand. I and my Father are one, and no man shall pluck them out of my Father's hand. Next, in verse 9, we see that when Christ comes to save, He comes as your King. Behold, thy King cometh unto thee. He doesn't come asking you if you won't pretty please let Him be your King. What foolish nonsense men invent in the name of religion. Jesus is your Savior, won't you let Him be your King? You're not going to make Christ King. He is King. And the only way He ever comes to you is as the sovereign King, demanding total surrender. Total surrender. To believe on Christ is to bow to Him as King, losing your life to Him, that you may save your life. Behold, thy King cometh unto thee, and he is just. He is just. Everything he is, is just. Righteous in all his being, holy in all his works, good in all his ways, he's just. If he damns you, he's just. If he saves you, he's just. Everything he does is justice and truth. He is a just God and a Savior, and he will call you to bow to his justice. just as David did, confessing your sin before him, that thou mayest be clear when thou speakest, and just when thou judgest. But look at this, because he is the King, because he is just, because he has satisfied all the justice of God and fulfilled all the righteousness of God, he comes as the King, the just God and our Savior, the just one, having salvation. He has salvation in his heart and he has it in his hand. He's had it in His heart and in His hands forever as our covenant surety. He obtained it with His own blood when He entered in once into the holy place, having obtained eternal redemption for us. And the Father has sent Him on His throne, and He has received gifts from Him, yea, for the rebellious also, that the Lord God might dwell among them. And He, the sovereign King, has this salvation to give freely to poor, needy sinners. Having salvation. It was accomplished when he died at Calvary, and he has it now to give to whomsoever he will. And yet he comes lowly, riding upon an ass, and upon a colt, the foal of an ass. He comes to us, this great God, our King. He who alone is God, our Savior. This holy and just One, the just God, our Savior. He comes to us as one. completely and totally and absolutely identified with us. Lowly, riding upon an ass, and a colt, the foal of an ass. Not the kind of white ass that a mighty conqueror comes riding on. Not the kind of white ass that the kings of ancient orient times used to ride on. No, no, no. But a wild ass's colt. How lowly, how poor! You know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though He was rich, yet for your sakes He became poor, that you through His poverty might be made rich. The Son of God, this Just One, this Holy One. Merle Hart, when He comes to us, He comes to us as one, just, exactly as we are. A real man who was once made so low that he was made sin, that he might make us the very righteousness of God in him. That's the Savior I can trust. One who is truly touched with the feeling of our infirmities. And not only does he come in lowliness as the just one, the King, our God and our Savior. He speaks peace. Look at verse 10. He says, He'll cut off the chariot from Ephraim, the horse from Jerusalem, the battle bow shall be cut off and He shall speak peace to us poor heathens. He doesn't come to make peace. He comes to speak peace. Every now and then I'll get a call from someone, I'll be sitting down and chatting with someone, and they'll tell me, I don't know whether I'm saved or not. And every time I hear those words, words from Rothbard keep ringing in my ears. He said, the only man who'll try to convince a lost man that he's saved is another lost man. I said, I ain't going to try to convince you. The fact is, if I can convince you, somebody will come along and unconvince you. Well, how on earth can a man know whether or not he's saved? If this King comes to you and speaks peace by the blood of His cross, you'll have peace. He's the only one who can speak peace to you. How does He do that? He blows the gospel trumpet. That is, He causes the word preached to be effectual to your heart, causing you to have peace. This is what it says. When Christ comes, He will be your deliverer. Verse 11, As for thee also, by the blood of thy covenant I have sent forth thy prisoners out of the pit wherein is no water. How did he do that? By the blood of thy covenant. Blood atonement sets us free. He declares to prisoners of hope that they shall receive the Lord's hand double for all their sins, we're told in verse 12. You remember when Elisha asked Elijah to give him a double portion of his spirit? He wasn't being greedy. He was asking for that which by law in Deuteronomy 21 is given to the firstborn. He said, Elijah, I pray that I will be like you, a firstborn son of God. And the Lord Jesus says, this is what I'll do for my people. When I set you free, I will make every one of you firstborn sons. had in a double portion from the hands of the Lord. How did He set them free? Verse 13, when I had bent the heart of Judah for me. Christ set sinners free by bending their hearts. By bending their hearts for Him. For Him alone. O Spirit of God, come reveal Christ and bend our hearts afresh. A good friend of mine, Harry Graham, once asked me, I was just a boy sitting on his hearth, and he said, Don, you know how to tell the difference between tares and wheat? And whenever Harry would ask me a question, he was always wanting to teach me something, so I perked up and listened. I said, no, Harry, what's the difference? He said, you can't tell until harvest time. At harvest time, the tares stand tall. The wheat bows its head. And when Christ puts his sickle in the earth in the harvest of his grace, he causes his wheat to bend for him. And he reveals himself. He reveals himself in verse 14. The Lord shall be seen over them. Over who? Over those who had been bent toward him. It doesn't say He comes and asks you, won't you pretty please bow to Me? He will bend you to Him. And when He has bent you to Him, He will be seen over you. Then in verses 14 and 15, He blows the trumpet of His grace, causes the jubilee trumpet to be heard setting the captive free. In verse 16, He saves them as the flock of His people. The good shepherd always saves his sheep. Every one of them. And then he says in verse 16, Then they shall be as stones of a crowd. They shall be mine, saith the Lord of hosts, in that day when I make up my jewels. I will spare them as a man spareth his own son that serveth him. Imagine that, Bob. He makes us Diamonds with which He makes His crown to sparkle as our Redeemer. Diamonds and rubies and sapphires SPARKLING in the crown of His glory as our Savior and our King. Now, what do we say to all that? Verse 17, How great is His goodness! How great is His beauty. Thanks be unto God for His unspeakable gift. Amen. In hymn book number 249, let's stand together. Just as I am.