Thank you all. I find that I'm oftentimes held captive by the need of other people's approval. The desire for other people to like me. I went to Ohio State during my undergrad. And when I was there, I lived in Lincoln Tower. And in Lincoln Tower, how the rooms were set up is you had like a living room and a bathroom and four bedrooms off of that. And they had many of these suites and there were two guys shoved in each one of those bedrooms. And there was a guy named Dan. in one of the other bedrooms. And I didn't like Dan. And I'm convinced that you wouldn't have liked Dan either. But what bothered me was Dan didn't like me. Now how dumb is that? I want nothing to do with the guy, but when I found out he didn't like me, that bothered me. There's a lot of people that can't stand when someone's upset with them. I don't know if you know this, but oftentimes someone is upset with the pastor at their church. Usually, they don't come right out and say it, but you can just tell by the way that they don't want to make eye contact with you, how they just kind of walk by you instead of greeting you, how when they ask questions about something, it's very clipped. And you have this feeling like, well, what's wrong? Well, why are they upset with me? What am I doing wrong? I've got to make a big decision for our church here in the next short amount of time. And I have to figure out what's the Lord's will or what's man's will. And that's going to be oftentimes your difficulty, trying to figure out, is this something that I want or is this something that God wants? And no matter what I choose, someone will be upset with me. You ever had thoughts like this? Maybe for you, it bothers you all day when you know that someone's upset with you. Maybe you have a group of peers or friends, and you so desire to be in with that group, but you feel like you're sort of on the outside, right? They don't really call you to do stuff. You see them posting pictures of them doing things, and you weren't invited to do it, and you just kind of think, man, I wish that I could be on the inside of this group that I feel like I'm on the outside right now. Maybe even it's a parent or a family member that just feels never satisfied. You do your best, and you try, and they're never happy with what you've done. Maybe it's a boy or a girl, a young man, a young woman, and you hope to catch their eye. There's just something about them. They're on your mind all the time, but they don't even really know that you exist, and you wish that they would acknowledge you. You've tried to get into their good graces because you have some perhaps romantic interest there, and it just feels like there's nothing coming back. a father figure, a mother figure, maybe someone who's a coach or a teacher, and they seem to really like these other kids, and you love the idea that maybe they would give you that kind of attention too, but they don't give that to you. And so you have thoughts like, man, I'd do anything to get them to notice me. I'd do anything to get them to treat me how they treat others. You'd be willing to change who you are just to get their attention. How do we find any peace or satisfaction when we have a situation like this where people that we long for the most to accept us refuse to accept us? We're gonna be in Ephesians chapter one. In Ephesians chapter one, the Apostle Paul is writing here these inspired words of the church at Ephesus. And he's writing to these saints that are there, reminding them who they are in Christ and what they've been given because of who they are in Christ. And we're gonna be in Ephesians chapter one in verse one. It says, Paul, an apostle of Jesus Christ, by the will of God, to the saints which are at Ephesus and to the faithful in Christ Jesus, grace be to you and peace from God our Father and from the Lord Jesus Christ. Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ, according as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love. having predestined us into the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself according to the good pleasure of his will to the praise of the glory of his grace wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved. Let's pray. Father open your word to us in this hour. May your spirit work and help us. In Jesus name we pray. Amen. The Apostle Paul traveled around from city to city about 20 or so, 15, 20 years or so after the Lord Jesus Christ rose from the dead and ascended back into heaven. And as he would go into these cities, he would preach the gospel, people would get saved, they would get baptized, he'd organize them into churches, and eventually he would move on to another city. And here, in the city of Ephesus, he was writing to these believers and it says, Not just to these believers, but in the very beginning of the address it says, and to the faithful in Christ Jesus. This is not just to the people in Ephesus 2,000 years ago, but it's to you and to me. And if you know the Lord Jesus Christ as your Savior, there is a huge key here to figuring out what it means to be accepted. What it means to really be accepted. And I want you to know you are already accepted if you're in Jesus Christ. You say, that's great, but that's not so exciting for me. I love that Jesus accepts me, but there's someone who I'd like it more. I'd like for my mom to accept me. I'd like for my dad to accept me. I'd like for a sibling to accept me. I'd like for a friend or for, as we mentioned before, a romantic interest. I'd like for them to give me the approval and the acknowledgement that I'm looking for. Now, I understand that feeling, but I want you to back up and understand what we have in this passage that God has actually done for us, and why it's so amazing that He has accepted us. It says back in verse number three, it says, Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ. Everything that you and I need to grow to mature spiritually, we have already been given those things, those blessings, by God the Father. Where has He given them to us? Well, He's given them to us not on earth here where they can be taken away or wasted or squandered or destroyed, but in heavenly places. Not the things of this earth, but the things of heaven. And He's given them to us in the Lord Jesus Christ. That's where we find these blessings that He's given us. It says in verse 4, "...according as He hath chosen us in Him before the foundation of the world." If that person, if that parent, if that friend, if that loved one never chooses you, I want you to know that before the world was even created, God chose you. He looked down through the halls of history knowing that you would come about exactly as you are, where you are, with all of your strengths, all of your weaknesses, all of your failures, all of your hopes, all of your dreams, and he looked at you and he said, I want you. He said, I want you. And he would go to great lengths to make sure that he could have you because we made sure with our sin that it wasn't a simple situation. And God knew that even before the foundation of the earth, that we would choose our way instead of God's way. We would side with the devil instead of with him. We would shake our fists in God's face and say, you won't be the boss of me. And we made a mess for ourselves. And then the one that we sinned against came down ...in the person of the Lord Jesus Christ... ...to clean up our mess... ...and to give himself holy as he bore our sins in his body on the tree. So that you and I might have the forgiveness of sins. So not only did he choose us, he paid a price for you and for me... ...because he wants us. In verse number 4, it continues here, it says... ...that we should be holy and without blame before him in love. He has predestined us, chose us, not that we would stay the way we are, but once we're in Christ that we would be made holy, separated unto God and from the world. That we would be made blameless, not because we became blameless in ourselves, but He made us so in Jesus Christ. He cleaned us up. And now we have that God could have easily and justly punished us in the moment of our very first sin on this earth. And he would have been right to do so, but instead he rescued us. He rescued us. And He chose you before the world even began. And that's not just a broad statement. That is you, and you, and you, and you. He chose you and He paid the price that He could have you. And He says, having predestinated us under the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to Himself. He didn't just choose you to be an acquaintance. to be a servant in his house, to be a friend of his, he chose you to be adopted into his family. He chose you to have the closest relationship that you could possibly have with Him to be joint heirs with Jesus Christ. As much as Jesus is a son of the Father, so are you a son of the Father. As much as Jesus is a child of the Father, you are a daughter of the Father. And as much as all of the promises of God are yea in Christ Jesus, they are the same for us because of the nearness that God has brought us to. It says, according to the good pleasure of His will. Do you know why He did it? Because it made Him happy. According to His pleasure. He did it because it pleased Him. He did it not because He had to, but because He wanted to. And it says, all the praise and all the glory goes to God the Father because of what He's done. And what is the summation of all of this? It says, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved. So, this person that you're pining after, what do they have that God doesn't? What have they done for you that God has not done for you? What are you hoping that they would do for you that God hasn't already done or promised with a perfect track record that he will do for you? You see, what it comes down to, and it's captured for us beautifully in Proverbs, and I'd like you to turn there with me, Proverbs chapter 29. Proverbs chapter 29, that's the Gospel of Luke, that has nothing to do with Proverbs. Proverbs chapter 29. Who will read verse 25 for me, aloud? Would you do that for me? Would you stand up and read it so we can all hear you? Proverbs 29 and verse 25. Thank you very much. The fear of man is a snare. Anyone know how to set a snare? Anyone know how to set a snare? What's a snare? What's a snare? It's a trap, right? It's a trap. The idea is that you would set up something that would catch an animal that you are hoping to eat, right? A snare is a trap. How many of you have ever seen someone put out a trap to catch an animal? My grandfather would do this with groundhogs. And that he had groundhogs digging up his garden and he would put out these traps and he would catch them and then he would let them go in the woods. I found out later he didn't let them go in the woods. I found out later that he forcibly baptized them and they never came back up. That was a little traumatic for me. I viewed my grandfather in a completely different light after that. I behaved a little bit better, I think. A snare is a trap. And the fear of man is a trap. The idea is, I'm so afraid of what they're going to think about me, what they are or are not going to do for me. I'm so afraid that they'll find out who I really am. And see, this is why it does not work when we say, I'm going to change myself to be like them so that they'll like me so that I can have the approval that I'm craving. Because the problem is, first of all, you're running in the wrong direction towards a trap if you do that. The second thing is, if you do win their approval by pretending to be someone you're not, guess what you have to do the rest of the relationship? You have to continue to be somebody that you're not in order to win their approval. And the problem is people are fickle. That's a great word. People are fickle. They will go back and forth on what they want or don't want all the time. This is why marriage has to be a promise, a covenant between a person their spouse and their God. Because it's so very easy to not feel like acting like you're married some days. You have to promise to do it because it's more than feeling. And so when we think about our relationships with other people and our great desire for them to like us, for that approval, it leads us into a snare. Because you'll finally go over these great lengths to get them. And let's say that you do get their approval. Let's say that you do get their approval. Then you're going to worry about losing it once you have it. It's never a stable thing. It's always a moving target. And see, that's one of the big problems that you can have in life. I face it as a pastor often, and here's what it is. I can try and keep everybody in my congregation happy. How many of you think that's possible? You're all very, very smart. You're smarter than I am, because I want them all to be happy, and I want them all to like me. But you know what? That's not something I can do. There is one person that I can try and please every day that matters the most above everybody else. Who is that? It's the Lord. And see, I have to make this decision coming up here very soon. And here's going to be my choice. Do I do what I know the Lord wants me to do, even if it makes people angry? Or do I do what makes other people happy, or at least comfortable? I have to be willing to choose the Lord even if it means I'm going to lose out on the approval of other people. And that's why the fear of man is a snare because you will have to come to a place in your life, and it happened for me when I was in college. I didn't get saved until I was 18. When I got saved, I was just about to head off to Ohio State for my undergrad. And my first year there, I floundered as a Christian because I wasn't in a good church. There's no such thing as a strong Christian who doesn't go to church. That's a myth. That's like a unicorn, right? That's not real. You have to go to church if you're gonna be a strong Christian. And I was not a strong Christian that first year I was saved. Second year I was down there. How many of you know the Wolven family? Any of you know Dan Wolven? Well, Dan and Denise Wolven, they came down and they ended up taking a church in Columbus, right near where I was going to school. And I ended up becoming a member of their church. Dan Wolven discipled me. And what I started to see happen was, as I got closer to God, my unsaved friends that I went to high school with, and a whole bunch of us went to Ohio State together, they wanted to do things that I knew was wrong. The things that I knew were wrong. And so I could make the choice of going and being the sober guy when everyone was drinking. I could go to the club and behave myself just to be around my friends. But you know what started happening? I had to make a decision. I had to make a decision as to whether or not I was going to take the approval of my friends and place it over my desire for God's approval. Or if I was going to place God over and say, hey, whatever happens with my friends happens with my friends. I want you to know that by God's grace, I chose him instead of choosing my friends. And you know what happened with my friends? I lost them. I lost a vast number of them, because you know what? When someone calls you up, they're like, hey, we're heading out to the bar, do you want to come with us? And someone says back to you, you know what guys, Jesus has been too good to me, I just couldn't do that to him. You know what? Your unsafe friends don't call you back after that, because you're a weirdo now, right? But that's the exact phrase that Brother Wolven said, hey, use that. And I wasn't sure if I was happier or upset with him after I used that. But you know what I found? I eventually found Christian friends. I remember my first Christian friend. and we would be able to go out and do things together and I wouldn't have to worry about compromising my convictions when doing that. I was put in this place where I had to choose between God and the approval and the acknowledgement of my friends. And the only way that I could make that choice was to realize that God had already accepted me, had already done so much for me, and deserved my allegiance more than my friends that were trying to pull me towards the world did. And so you're going to have to make that choice at some point in time. You may have to make that choice many times, right? You'd say, well, this is a Christian school, and we don't have those kind of problems like you had at Ohio State. Maybe. But I've also served on church staff at a church that had a Christian school. And I can tell you that things go on. Things go on. And we all want to pretend like they don't, but they do. And you're going to have to make a decision, even in here with these people, even maybe in your youth group, among other people. There's a bunch of people in your youth group living double lives. Some of them are you. You know how I know? My wife did. You know how I know that my wife did? Because she was dating me while she was in the youth group, and I was an unsaved atheist. I knew that she was living a double life. And you're going to have to make the decision at some point to say, I'm going to choose God over The snare that is the fear of man. I wanna show you somebody in Luke chapter 15 that learned this lesson. I have to apologize to Michaela because she's gonna say you always preach this passage and she's right. Michaela's a member at our church there at Columbia Road and I'm glad she is. In Luke chapter 15, we come upon a very famous and perhaps familiar parable. I love the parable of the prodigal son, but not because of the prodigal son, I love the father in the story of the prodigal son. He's the hero, he's the main character of this, not the son. But it says in Luke chapter 15, And in verse 11, the Lord Jesus is speaking. And it says, and he said, a certain man had two sons, Luke 15 and verse 12. And the younger of them said to his father, father, give me the portion of goods that falleth to me. And he divided unto them his living. And not many days after the younger son gathered all together and took his journey into a far country. And there wasted his substance with riotous living. And when he had spent all, there arose a mighty famine in that land. and he began to be in want. And he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country, and he sent him into his fields to feed swine. And he would fain have filled his belly with the husks that the swine did eat, and no man gave unto him. And when he came to himself, he said, How many hired servants of my father's have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger? I will arise and go to my father, and I will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven and before thee, and am no more worthy to be called thy son. Make me as one of thy hired servants. And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him. And the son said unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven and in thy sight, and am no more worthy to be called thy son. But the father said to his servants, bring forth the best robe and put it on him. And put a ring on his hand and shoes on his feet. And bring hither the fatted calf and kill it. And let us eat and be merry. For this my son was dead and is alive again. He was lost and is found. And they began to be merry. Here a young man realized what it was like to have all of the approval of everybody that was around him, all of the peers that he was partying with, all of the revelers in that far country that he filled with drink, and all the pleasurable company of what his brother would later describe as harlots. Everybody wanted to be around him because he had money. He could buy the approval of his friends. He could be the life of the party. He could change his behavior. He didn't have to live like he did when he was at the father's house. He could become whatever he needed to become to have all of these people gather around him and accept him and approve of him and say, hey, I like that guy, that younger son. He's it. But as the story always happens, things fall apart. And he finds himself without money. And then things go wrong in the economy in the country where he was. And he's at the bottom rung. He's feeding swine, which is just a humiliating job for a Jewish boy. Humiliating job. And he sits there, and the phrase that gets to me in this passage, it says, and no man gave unto him. Where were all his friends? Where were all the people that said such nice things to him when he was buying round after round of drinks? And when he had ladies all over his lap and all into his attention, and where were all of them when he was in trouble? He had their approval, he was the life of the party, and now he's literally in a pigsty. Where is all of that? Where is all of that approval now? He had won it for a while. And we see where that got him. And then he decides, I have a plan. Here's my plan. I'm... I'm gonna head home. Because my father, if I could convince him to let me be a servant, he might let me serve in his house. I couldn't go home and never be a son again after all that I've done. But I could go home and maybe be a servant and I'd have enough to eat so I wouldn't be starving and I wouldn't have to live in this pigsty anymore. Maybe I could do that. And so he gets up and he practices this speech that he's gonna give and he starts to travel on his way home. And before he ever gets there, the father has been looking. He has been looking along the road that leads to the far country where it passes over the horizon. And he sees that figure that he has known since he was a child starting to walk his way back as that silhouette comes more into view. He confirms that it is his son and the father who never should have had to run. because he was the patriarch of the family, picks up his robes and runs to his son and embraces him with compassion. And the young man stutters to even get out the speech that he had planned from his mouth, and he only gets halfway through confessing his sin and what he had done. And before he ever gets to speak about being a servant, the father, wrapping his arms around him, fell on him, kissed his neck, called the servants over and said, let's clean him up. Let's put a new robe on him. He smells like pigs. Let's get him some shoes and let's get him the ring on his finger to show that he's back in the family with authority. And let us kill the fatted calf and let us rejoice again. You know what was crazy? The whole time that that young man was so striving to be accepted by all of those worldly people that were all around him, the father was waiting there with true acceptance every moment looking for him to come back. And even after the son destroyed his own reputation and sullied himself, some would say, past any chance of redemption, the father runs to him and embraces him and shows his great acceptance of him. That is the father who chose you. That is the father who wants you, who is waiting for you. Why are you trying to pander to the world's approval when they will never give you half of what the Lord has already given you and promised you? This is the danger of the fear of man, the snare of the fear of man. So what do you and I take away from this? What are we supposed to take away from this? You are already accepted. All of the efforts to dress a certain way, to do your hair a certain way, to wear a certain, to have a certain physique, to try and cultivate a certain personality. I was so consumed with what people thought about me when I was in high school. That's part of high school, by the way. It's part of junior high, too. I've actually blocked out most of my junior high memories. They were so traumatic. The only thing I remember about junior high was the ice cream that we could buy at lunch. That's the highlight. When you get to the point, and when I get to the point, when we realize how accepted we are in the Beloved already, we're not gonna run around trying to find it elsewhere, because it will never satisfy. You don't need to play the game anymore, trying to win people over so that they like you. You've already won the game when you trusted in Christ and the Father accepted you. So, I'm gonna have to make a decision. And when I do, Someone's not going to approve of it. But you know who won't? Who won't withdraw and move away from me? God himself. God himself. People's approval of you will come and go, but if you base your value on God's acceptance, you can be content. You can even be joyful when those people walk out on you. I want you to know right now that maybe your home life is great, maybe you have the peer group that you want to have, maybe even you either don't have your eyes set on somebody or you have the person that you've always dreamed of. I want you to know at some point in time, someone is not going to approve of you. Someone is not going to be happy with you. And it maybe even ought to be someone who does, like we mentioned before, a parent. How are you gonna deal with that? How are you gonna deal with that? You could hope that they change, or you could try and change yourself, or you can live in the place where you say, you know what? God says I'm already accepted in the beloved. What does the beloved mean? That's referring to Christ. That's a very tender name for Christ. And he's the one who has made you acceptable. Not that you had to change yourself, but that Christ changed you. Live in that acceptance. of God and not man. If you find yourself striving for the approval of others and you catch yourself in it, right? You catch yourself in it. Here's what you need to say. You need to say, this relationship does not define me. My relationship with God defines me. This relationship that I'm striving after, that does not define me. That does not say if I'm acceptable. It does not say if I'm valuable. You know what says that you're valuable? Is your relationship with Christ. That's what says that you have value. That's what says that you're accepted. And so when you find yourself and you feel like you're on the outside and you say, I just wish it could be different. Some of you are like this right now. You probably have a friend that you wish was closer or a group of friends that you wish was closer, like I had described before. And you think that's going to end. That doesn't end. My wife still sees ladies in the church get together and go out and do stuff on old people Facebook. And they didn't invite her. And she says, well, why didn't they invite me? You think it stops when you become an adult? No. No, it doesn't. You're going to have to find a way to live through it. In fact, to live above it. Because that is what being accepted and the beloved means. Some of you have a parent, and I hate to tell you this, they're never going to approve of you as they ought to. And you sometimes think you hate them, but what you really want is for them to be different. You want them to be like other people's parents where they actually encourage their child and they actually come behind them and try and help them succeed instead of only using their words to tear you down. How in the world do you live in the midst of all of that? Because no matter what she or he says to you or refuses to say to you, God has already chosen you from before the world was created and said, I want you. And you can live in that truth. And that will bring you through all of the hardship that you face when someone says no to you. There's someone whose head, whose eye you're willing to, wanting to catch or whose head you're wanting to turn to hope that they would date you, If you do that thing, I'm sorry, are we courting? I don't know. Whatever terminology you're using. And they just, they don't even know you exist. Or maybe they know and they wish you didn't exist. And you're stuck with. Well, what am I gonna do? If you put all of your hopes in the basket of them one day coming around to all of your great characteristics and traits, you're gonna set yourself up for that trap, the fear of man. It's gonna be a snare. It's gonna catch you. You're gonna be chasing after it forever. And you're gonna be wondering, what's wrong with me? Stop it. God has already chosen you and has already accepted you in the beloved. the praise of the glory of his grace wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved. So you know what I'm gonna do this week? I'm gonna make a decision. Some people are gonna like it, some people aren't gonna like it. I hope I'm making God's decision, the will that he set out for me and not my own. And when I do that, no matter what happens afterward, I'm gonna know that no matter what happens, God has still adopted me as his son. He still blessed me with all spiritual blessings and heavenly places in the Lord Jesus Christ. He still looked down through the halls of history, chose me before the world was created. And I'm still accepted in the beloved. And if you can live there too, then you and I can make it through this week with contentment in Christ. Let's bow our heads and close our eyes. I'm sorry I wasn't funnier today, but I'm dealing with something. And when I deal with something, I have to go to God's word about it. And when I went to God's word, I honestly had no idea this morning what I was going to preach to you when I woke up. I've been praying and God hadn't shown me something. And I got down on my knees once again this morning. I said, Lord, you've never let me down knowing what I'm supposed to preach.