All right, you've got your Bibles there this evening in 1 Peter 3, verse number seven. I'm gonna ask if you would stand. I know it's only one verse, but let's honor God's word tonight as we read together. 1 Peter 3, verse number seven. You follow along as I read. All right, wives, we don't want any elbowing or anything like that tonight, all right? We wanna be fair and just kidding. All right, let's read, here we go. The Bible says, likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them. according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers be not hindered." Now we've got several things here we're going to talk about. I just want to point out before we sit down two things. The Bible there is talking about, first of all, the word likewise. So it goes back to the verses previously that we were talking about. Number two, there's the word there that is dwell with them. Alright, that's not vague. We're talking about your wives, okay? So we want to be clear on that. That's very clear in our English language. So we're going to ask the Lord to help us tonight as we look at this matter of likewise ye husbands. Heavenly Fathers, speak again to our hearts tonight. Lord, we know that the Word of God can encourage us no matter what phase of life, what our situation is. Lord, who we are, we know that the Word of God has the truth for us. I pray that we might accept it tonight, and Lord, that you'd speak to each of our hearts, and Lord, would you challenge us, we pray, especially in this area of our relationship to our wives as husbands. Lord, I pray that you'd give us the truth of your Word. May we be humble to receive it tonight, and we ask your help. In Jesus' name, amen. Kay, would you give me just a little bit more on this please tonight? Thank you. Had a full night of singing and my voice is feeling a little weak tonight. All right, so we're going to learn a couple things. Let me just review if I can, first of all, and it will help us tonight to... I think get back up into speed, all right? So number one, we talked about wives last week and the week before, and I just wanna review because there are two very important aspects that we talked about concerning wives, all right? So help me out, ladies or men, whoever. The first thing we talked about concerning the wife is what? All right, so glad we can, oh, submission, okay, good. I was, sorry, I didn't know. Good, submission. Now, submission equals what? Okay, good. Most of us got that. Let's say it together. Submission equals order. Okay, now, that is to the degree that submission does not equal superiority. It does not equal, you know, strength or anything else. It equals order, and that's what we talked about. You can go back through the Bible and just the verses previous to the ones there in chapter two, and you'll find very clearly it's talking about order, and God is a God of order, not chaos, not self-will, not doing what we want. He's a God of order, all right? So that's what the word submission means. By the way, we're fine with submission when it comes to, well, I hope we are, when it comes to our civil authority. We're fine with submission when it comes to our, maybe our job, our boss, all right? We do what he says or they say, whatever. We show up when they say, we wear what they say, we do what they say. That's order, all right? And that's what we're talking about. And so the Bible's very clear on that. So number one, subjection. Number two is what? Okay, good, adornment. Thank you, Anna. The adornment, all right? Can we all say that together? Adornment, okay. So wives, you say, Pastor, I thought we were talking to husbands tonight. I'm expecting this. We need to review because we're coming up on something that we need to talk about. Adornment is this matter of what we prepare ourselves to be, all right? And wives, the Bible talks about the adornment being of the inward man, all right? It's internal. Primarily, that's where it starts. That's what it has to begin with. And then on the outside, obviously, there's a need for proper adornment as well. We won't go back and talk about that. So two aspects for the wives that we talked about here in the book of 1 Peter. Now, the Bible says likewise. So in the same spirit of what we just talked about, there is a message for the husbands tonight that is very important. And so the Bible's in the same way, in the same thought, likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them, that is, your wives, according to knowledge. Now, we'll talk about this in just a minute, but as we look through this, there is a remarkable amount of depth and truth for us men here tonight. And I don't have time to go into the depths of all of these, but I want you to see there are some very important truths here that really apply no matter what your age or what your experience is. You say, Pastor, I've been married for 85 years. I know what I'm doing. I don't think we have anybody like that, right? No. You say, Pastor, I've been married for five years. I know what I'm doing. The fact is we all have places to grow and learn, all right? And I'll talk about that in just a little bit, but it's a remarkable amount of depth and truth that is conveyed in this one verse. Probably this is the primary verse when it deals with our husbandly responsibility to our lives in all of the scriptures. There are others that are very important, but as far as our husbandly work, the message, mission that God's given to us as men and husbands, this is the premier verse that we go to often. Therefore, it is important that we deal with it. Now, you say, Pastor, I'm not a husband. Maybe I'm a male, but I'm not married yet. Well, I think that there's truth here that you need to learn so that when you do get married, you have some truth to stand on. And you say, Pastor, well, I'm a female. I'll never be a husband. And maybe I'm married to a husband. Well, that's even better because now you know how to pray for your husband, right? Lord, help him. And by the way, we go back to the first part of 1 Peter chapter 3. We learned about how you were to respond, wives, and how powerful that is in bringing an unbelieving husband or a husband that is not maybe thinking correctly in this one situation back to him. And that is a powerful thing. But I want you to see tonight that there's something here for you. And you say, well, Pastor, I've been married, and now I'm not married, or my husband's dead, or whatever the case might be. I want you to understand tonight that there's something here for everybody. This encapsulates the Christian faith, the faith that God's given to us. And for us all to be on the same page is very helpful. And I want you to understand that we all have to make a decision about listening and getting what God says. And so, prepare your hearts to gain what God has, all right? So let me give you a couple thoughts concerning this in verse number seven that we find. Number one, notice the Bible says, likewise ye husbands. What's that verb there, men? Dwell, thank you. Now, the word dwell is the word meaning to get stuck into, all right? It means to actually be consistently there. That's your dwelling place. I use the word stuck into. That's really what it means. That's not bad, all right? That's a good thing. It's where we are plugged in. It's where we come back to all the time. We might call it home base, right? That's where we come. So we're dwelling with our wives. So number one, if you're taking notes tonight, husbands, go home to your wife. What does that mean? Oh, everybody's like, whoa, my goodness. Well, here's the fact. We live in a culture where people are trying to get out from underneath relationships all the time. And I want to say that, man, part of the sin nature that we have is this idea. Well, I'm not going back there. Right? I'm going to stay at work as long as I can. Or I'm going to try to avoid responsibility as much as I can. Or, man, I don't want to get back there and get in an argument, or I don't want to go face the responsibility, or whatever it might be. And I'm just saying tonight, men, when it comes down to being what God wants us to be, go home! All right, now, that's not something that I think is too far-fetched tonight. I know very personally someone in my extended family, they're not saved, but they were married and they had a crisis in their life. And I mean, this was a big deal. And the husband said, I'm sorry, I don't see this as a big deal, I'm gonna go play basketball. And it blew the marriage apart. And I think in that one illustration, it might be kind of weird, but the fact of the matter is I think that encapsulates a lot of what men deal with today. We're living in a culture where there is a passive mentality, a me first, entertain me, let me put my place first. And God says that is absolutely against the spirit of biblical husbandry. Get back to where you need to be and take the responsibility and take the lead. The husbands, I'm telling you, that's very important as we understand that. And young men, as you get to be older tonight, understand that God has a place for you. And you need to get back to that place of responsibility and take it. Dwell with them. All right, that's what the Bible's talking about here. You say, well, how are we to dwell with that? Well, I think in the sense of commitment, obviously. You stand at the altar and say, I do. Let me say tonight, that is an important promise covenant between you and God and that other person. And if you say, I do, stick with it. Commit to it. Dwell with them. That's what the Bible's talking about. Well, you say there's in relation to maybe being away. And I understand it's necessary for some people to be away. And sometimes even for me, it's necessary to be away, maybe traveling for something or whatever. But the case of the matter is, where's your heart in the matter? Where do you want to get back to? And I think that's the idea even in travel. But you might have in relation to hobbies or friends. I don't necessarily promote this, but there's an old movie that my wife and I have watched, and the two, the husband and wife, they get married, and later on, the sister comes to visit, and the wife says, I encourage my husband to go out in the garden as long as he wants, and spend as long as he wants out in the garden. And she makes it sound so good, but what she's trying to say is, get out of here. I don't want to talk to you, right? And I think that's the idea with a husband sometimes. I'm just going to go out, and we just pour ourselves into something. And I'm not sure that's necessarily someone here. But let me tell you, if you get home, and you prop your feet up on the chair, and you turn on your favorite show, or you open your computer and bury your nose in it, let me tell you, you might be present there physically, but that has nothing to do with you being there. How many understand what I'm saying? And so I want you to, and you say, Pastor, this is a little hard. I'm talking to men tonight, all right? And you need to be able to take what God says. And so the idea is that we need to pay attention, be present, not passive, not kind of putting myself there, but I don't wanna deal with things. If you're there, be there. All right, that's the idea. So as we talk about dwelling with them, this is what we're talking about. And in a typical marriage, resentment grows from the wife to the husband over how much he's gone or how much he's absent, even in his spirit or mentally. And that's important. So don't be gone. We live in an age today, again, the absent passive male, especially a husband, is the norm. But it is the opposite of what God's calling us to be. All right, so in that one little word, dwell with them, we find a lot of truth. And we find then, first of all, husband, go home. All right, number two. Husbands, notice the Bible says there, dwell with them, how? Can you read that to me, men? Can you see that? According to... All right, can we say that together, men? All right, dwell with them according to... All right, so number one, go home. Number two, get a... Degree on Wife Studies. Get a degree on Wife Studies. Now, what are you talking about? Well, this is a course that no university will offer, I promise you that. All right, number one, it takes too long to get the degree. You can get a doctorate for Pete's sake in eight years. In Wife Studies, you're just getting started. I'm not being cynical tonight. I know we can laugh and make jokes, but I'm talking about the truth here, men. We need to have a study on wife studies, all right? On my wife's study, on your wife's study. Study your own wife, all right? So what I'm saying tonight is that there is a need for us to get a degree. And I'm talking about a full-on knowledge degree on how my wife works and how she responds and who she is. And as a husband, that's your responsibility. And the Bible makes that very clear, to dwell with them according to knowledge. Now there's a lot of... Peter here in his language that he uses gives us a lot of leeway for interpretation. Alright, I'm not going to go back into the Greek. I did when I was studying and it's fascinating because it really does leave a lot of interpretation kind of room here in all of these statements. Let me just give you what I'm talking about. When it talks about dwelling with them according to knowledge, the question is what kind of knowledge? You see, Peter doesn't, and the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, they don't quantify what kind of knowledge we're to dwell with them with. And it might be easier, men, if he did, right? I mean, I could know then, oh, I need to know this knowledge, right? Or I need to know this knowledge. But the Bible's very open on this. It's kind of open-ended on purpose. I think there's a general knowledge that needs to be acquired about your wife in particular, and I want you to understand tonight that that's something we need to make a lifelong commitment to. Now, I'll tell you, you will learn what you want to learn, men. Do you understand that? A lot of us, man, we learn sports. Man, I tell you, we can talk about sports all day long, and who's who, and what's what, and man, it's amazing. And you know, you'll learn that when you want to learn it. You'll learn your job, and you'll learn maybe continuing education for your job, and maybe you'll take some sort of classes. Maybe you'll learn how to fix a car, and you'll put your mind to that, or fix some sort of a project at home. But the fact of the matter is, God told us that we need to learn our wives. Husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge. Now, you say then, what kind of knowledge? And the answer is, we don't know. I think it's just kind of the broad knowledge of life, the knowledge of marriage. And I'm going to give you a couple of my thoughts here in just a minute. But the fact is, you need to dwell with them according to knowledge. Now, we can also say that means to not dwell with them according to the opposite of knowledge. And what is that? Ignorance. Right. I don't know. There's no excuse for a husband to say, I don't know. Now, I'll tell you a little bit of my weaknesses here. I'm not strong in the department of encouragement all the time, all right? I like to encourage people, I just don't know how sometimes. Some people really have that. My wife has the gift of encouragement. And she knows exactly what you like, and what your favorite drink is, and what your favorite candy bar is, and she has it at the tip of her tongue. We can be out looking at something, oh, so and so would like this. How do you remember that? Well, it's because she has a degree in people studies. Now, it's exhausting. I mean, she puts her heart and mind to it, but it's there. Husbands, we need to have that kind of a mentality. You know, I heard husbands say, oh, you need to know what size shoes your wife wears, and what size dress she wears, and you need to know what her favorite color is, what her favorite candy bar is. To me, it's like, oh, man. Get out my book, you know? I got to start writing it down. But we better know it. Now, it's not just material things. We need to know how to minister to her spiritually. And I mean by that, I need to be the leader as a husband pouring into my wife that which she needs in any given moment. Now, let me tell you, that comes long and hard. We're complicated individuals, us human beings. And I'll tell you this too, to make it even worse, The man she married 20 years ago is not the man she's married to today. And the woman I married 20 years ago is not the woman I'm married to. Now, I'm not being weird or trying to start some rumor. We've changed. You understand? Time changes us. We grow. We mature. Our tastes change. Our personalities change in some ways. It's good some ways. Some ways it's bad. So there's a constant need to be learning and growing and growing with your wife, learning what she needs. Now husbands, this is not for the faint of heart, but it is not something we can be excused from. You must study your wife. Know her. know what God needs her to know, know how to help her through situations, know how to encourage, know how to pray, know how to walk with her through these things. That's called being a husband. And so the Bible makes it very clear that we need to love them according to knowledge, not ignorance, not, I don't know. Well, you know, and sometimes I think we get this flippant idea, well, girls, ladies are ladies, you know, females, who can understand them, we throw up our, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. God says, know them. I think that's a ploy of Satan to discourage men. You know, you get this idea of women are so hard to understand, and women say men are so hard to understand. Yes, it is true, but we don't have any excuse not to do it. The Bible says dwell with them according to knowledge. Make that a priority in your life. Well, I don't have time. You better make time, all right? I'm kind of arguing with myself here. I don't know if you're arguing that way or not, but the fact is, Make time to do it because it's important that we have that mentality. Let me give you a couple thoughts here concerning... getting a degree on wife studies, all right? Number one, get a knowledge of the difference in genders. Now, I just mentioned this, but you understand that, like I do, you've heard all the titles of the books, right? Men are from Mars, women are from Venus, right? Okay, so yeah, whatever. Men are like waffles, women are like spaghetti. All right, yes, you say, what are you talking about? Yeah. There are all kinds of ideas, okay? And the point I'm trying to make is, all of these things are valid in their illustration, and we need to understand that there's a difference. God hardwired men and women differently. All right, I mean, we're essentially humans at the very core, right? We both breathe air, we both have physical bodies and all the things that go along with that, but in our makeup, emotionally, mentally, we're very different. God did that on purpose. And that's not wrong. That's not something to despise. As a matter of fact, God made that so it completes. And when we're walking according to God's plan, it does complete. But we have to overcome all of the complications and the frustrations and the miscommunications and learn how to dwell with them according to knowledge. So get knowledge concerning the difference in genders. We must accept it, just understand it. And by the way, don't get cynical against it. Don't say, well, that's just the way they are. No, learn it. and understand it. What kind of a worker would you be at work if you just threw up your hand and say, well, I don't understand. I'll just let it go. Who knows? I don't know. No. Solve the problem. Get in there. Find out the problem and solve it. And that's the idea that men, we are to have as well. So number one, knowledge of different genders. Number two, get the knowledge of marriage. Now, life is about relationship. And your most important relationship, then, is your wife, your relationship in marriage. And it's pointless, understand me tonight, to succeed at every other relationship or any other relationship in life and fail at the relationship that's most important. It is absolutely pointless. People have been ruined in their business dealings and in their political aspirations and in every situation you could talk about because of a failed marriage relationship. And I'm telling you tonight that it is primary. And husbands, it is our responsibility to take that initiative and get the knowledge of marriage. I'll tell you tonight, life, I'm sorry, a good marriage is a good life's work. In other words, you will not fail if you put your time and energy into your relationship as a husband. You will not fail. You say, well, I may lose my job. That's not failing, all right? You lose your wife and your covenant relationship that God's given, and that's not a good situation. But we don't want to succeed at things that don't matter and fail at that which does matter. then we don't live it haphazardly. Become a student of it. Learn what it means to communicate. Learn what it means to lead by example and by service. Learn what it means to show love. Learn the ins and outs of marriage in all of its detail and all of its requirements. Be a student of your wife tonight. That's what the Bible's talking about. Get a knowledge of marriage. By the way, may I say this? We've been helped tremendously by reading books about marriage. Now, primarily I'll say this, my wife has had the burden to do this early on because me, there's no problem, what's the big deal, right? I've got this thing, I've got it under control. My wife's like, no we don't. And so, bless her heart, she's introduced things that we've read together and I've read individually, things that we've gone back and reviewed that have been very helpful. Listen, don't ever get sold to think, I don't need to read that book. Now, the Bible is the most important book, but there are helpful books out there, people, and I'm not saying everybody's right in everything they say. You've got to pick and choose. You've got to glean what's right. But listen, there are people that understand how relationships work. They study communication. They study the mind of a woman, the mind of a man, and they can help us to see one with another. And I'm saying, you know, all that mumbo jumbo stuff, but here's the point. It's helped us to be able to communicate and to be able to see the other person the way we ought to see them. And I'm just saying tonight that you need to make sure that you dwell with your wives according to knowledge. And sometimes that requires some investment. You know, you're not going to go to school without some sort of a textbook or some sort of a resource. And if we're going to get a degree in wife studies, you need the resource, first of all, of God's Word. That's primary. Secondly, there are many good resources out there that will help you. And I want to encourage you in that. You say, I'm only 15 or 16, or I'm only 17 or 19, or whatever. Listen, it's not going to be too long, and your life may take a change. You might start recognizing that opposite gender. That's a good thing, by the way. It's not wrong in the right time. And when it's the right time, it's good for you to be prepared and ready. And that's why it's good for you to know and learn responsibility today. Learn what it means to be a good follower of the Lord today and what it means to have quality leadership capability and learning how to lead by example and by love and by service. because that's what God has called us to do. Be unselfish. I could go on and on, right? The list is lengthy, but get a knowledge of marriage. All right, then let me give you one more here before we move on. You need to get a knowledge, because if we're learning to live or dwell with them according to knowledge, we need to get a knowledge of our wife in general. Now, what am I talking about? I mentioned this, I won't spend a long time on it, but you need to learn what she likes and what she doesn't like, what she feels, how's she gonna respond in this situation, what situations may be not good for her to get into, all right? And by the way, Vice versa is true, too. My wife sees things that are danger spots for me, and it's a blessing. I appreciate that. And sometimes I have to humble myself and say, oh, I didn't see that, or whatever. And the same is true. We need to be watching out and keeping an eye on what she wants, how she operates, what makes her tick, what makes her not ticked off, all right? That's good to know, too. But what keeps her going? What encourages her? Just because you're sitting across the table and you're not in a screaming argument doesn't mean everything's okay. All right? And I mean by that, sometimes there are things that need to be drawn out. There's things that need to be dealt with proactively in order to deal with things and to guide in the right way. And these are all things that we must do. We as men, we like to sit and be passive. If everything's quiet and peaceful, everything's okay. Let's just walk and keep going, all right? As careful as we can. I understand that, but here's what I'm saying tonight. There needs to be some things that we deal with and we talk about in a loving way or, you know, whatever, and ask God for wisdom, but they need to be dealt with or they just need to be discussed. There needs to be an open discussion here about these things, and it gives opportunity. By the way, sometimes that's what your wife needs, just to talk about something. Give her that opportunity. And it's not, okay, honey, let's talk about something here. You tell me about your day, okay? And maybe for the older generation, that's not a problem, but you younger guys' generation, put that phone down, put that screen down and give attention. I struggle with this sometimes, I'll be honest. I can listen and do something else, right? No. Learn that marriage relationship, and so get a knowledge of your wife. And I already mentioned this, but things are constantly changing. Our life stage changes. We're getting ready to say goodbye to our first son. Bye. No, I'm just kidding. But I mean, it's going to be a big deal in our family. It's a big deal. I mean, it's going to change the dynamic of our family. And it's not going to be too much longer. And we'll have another one leave it. And then a couple years, it's just going to go downhill from there. And I'm just saying that our life stage changes, our physical bodies change, our mentality changes, our maturity changes, everything changes. And so this is a lifelong pursuit of knowledge, learning, and understanding that person, that spouse that God put you with. So men, please don't quit. Oh, I said I love you when I got married, right? You know my heart. Listen, there are so many things that we need to deal with and we need to walk with and continue on. All right. Number two, I said, get a degree in wife studies. Okay, and I should put in there, get a degree on your wife studies. Okay, let's go to number three here. Notice in verse number seven, the Bible says, giving honor unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel. So let me just say number three, husbands, honor your wife, honor your wife. Let me just quantify what that means. Does that mean open the door for her? Well, yes, but it means so much more. The word honor here is the word that means to establish respect and credibility. In other words, I give my wife honor. That is, I bestow upon her a certain level of esteem in my eyes and in the eyes of people around her. Okay, so I honor my wife, I give her honor. It's something that I, it's a gift that I give. I don't necessarily show honor here in this situation, I give it. All right, so I esteem her. Men, you need to esteem your wife in an honorable situation. In other words, lift her up and give her that credibility in the world, not only in your own mind, but in the mind of others. Let me read what one commentary said. It was an important advance made in society when Christian religion gave such a direction as this. For everywhere among the heathen and under all false systems of religion, woman has been regarded as worthy of little honor or respect. She has been considered as a slave or merely an instrument of man. It is one of the elementary doctrines of Christianity, however, that woman is to be treated with respect. And one of the first and most marked effects of religion on a society is to elevate the wife to a condition in which she will be worthy of esteem. And I'll tell you today, you study history and you find that Christianity, whenever it's preached in places where it had not been preached before, always the situation of women and mothers and wives especially have been raised in their level of respect and honor in that society, every time. But where there's a culture that's heathen and it rejects God and the Bible and the principles of it, they haven't learned this. You will always find oppression. You will find abuse. You will find the minimalization of the wife and the role of a wife and a mother. And I'm telling you, it's something that God speaks exactly against. And we need to honor them. And it's very true. Although she is to obey or submit in the order of things, you are to treat her as if Not that you're her employer, or to treat her as if she's some sort of, you're some sort of master, but instead treat her like she's actually some sort of superior in a sense. Now in order, we know that the husband is the head, he is the one that makes the decisions, and there's good reason for that, but the fact is, when there is a need there to show honor and respect, we can do that very clearly. She's to be respected, reverenced, cherished, and esteemed. Conversely, What we find oftentimes is the husband often insulting, denigrating, ignoring, minimizing, dismissing, hiding, taking for granted, looking down, looking past, trampling over, whatever you name it. That's kind of the idea. And the wife somehow has to, in the world's mind, she has to hold some sort of level of respectability in order for her to be accepted. And that's not what the Bible says. The Bible says, give her honor. I think that there's many things we could do to apply this. Husbands, you ought never make your wife the brunt of a joke in front of other people. And I know sometimes it's joking around, and maybe there's a dynamic where that's healthy in certain situations, but the fact is that's very dangerous. Be careful. And this idea of putting her down, you say, well, she's not even here. She can't hear me. But the fact of the matter is, in your mind, you're putting her down. And that's not what the Bible says. The Bible says, give honor. And that starts in your own mind and heart. And so you do that no matter where you are and make that a priority. And so it's very clear. All right, why do we do that? Well, notice the Bible says, number seven, she's the weaker vessel. Now, here's another one of those phrases that Peter doesn't really quantify closely. What does that mean? Weaker for what? Well, obviously then, that means that there is a vessel that's stronger, and we would assume that that's the man, all right? And that doesn't mean anything other than, you know, stronger's not always better, by the way, all right? But the fact is, God says here very clearly, the woman's a weaker vessel. Now, we know from physiology, from all kinds of things, that a woman's made differently. Woman is the emotional part of man, right? Not that there aren't emotional men and unemotional women, all right? I'm not saying that. But typically speaking, the woman has the emotions and she has the compassion, the heart. She sees things differently in that way. And of necessity, that kind of makeup makes her vulnerable to certain things. And I believe that's what the Bible's talking about here. Now, again, there's no specific interpretation of the word weaker here, just like earlier on. We don't know what the word knowledge deals with, but we can surmise and we can understand a little bit. And I'll say here again, let me read one of these commentaries. By this, it is not necessarily meant that she is of the feebler capacity. I've mentioned before, there's a lot of ladies that I don't want to meet in a dark alley somewhere, all right? So it's not generally speaking, we're not talking about specifics here, about capacity or inferior mental endowments, but that she is more tender and delicate, more subject to infirmities and weaknesses, less capable of enduring fatigue and toil, less adapted to the rough and stormy scenes of life. As such, she should be regarded and treated with special kindness and attention. This is a reason, the force of which all can see and appreciate. So we feel toward a sister, so we feel toward a beloved child, if he is of feeble frame and delicate constitution, and so every man should feel in relation to his wife. She may have mental endowments equal to his own. She may have moral qualities in every way superior to his, but the God of nature has made her with a more delicate frame, a more fragile structure, and with a body subject to many infirmities, to which the more hardy frame of man is a stranger." And I mean by that, this is the way God has designed it. Now in the culture that we live, we live in a very kind of Maybe we talk about feminism and all the rest of things. It's really, I'll tell you this, my heart breaks for women who feel like they need to be superior to men. I'll just say that, all right? Because we're nothing to compete with, believe me, you don't wanna be a man, all right? And I'm being facetious here, but here's what I think. The feminism movement back in the 60s and 70s and now that we see kind of resurfacing today is a response to the passive males that we have in the world today. I really believe that. Now, I'm not talking about men need to stand up, I'm boss. No, no, no, you got it all wrong. You deserve to be knocked down if that's your spirit. But I'm talking about a man who is truly Christ-centered, compassionate, and can show a wife or a woman respect and honor and give them that honor and have that kind of spirit in their heart, not of superiority, but of service and of true Christian character. And if women would see that, let me tell you, there would be no feminist movement. We live in a world where men are absolutely incapable of having responsibility and caring about the most menial and mundane tasks of life. And yes, I'm preaching to the world tonight. I'm telling you, we live in a world where men have just an incapability of knowing how to have responsibility when it comes to family relationships or holding a job. And the spirit of this is, I'm the superior one, you're the inferior one, and it is absolutely to be rebelled against. And so the world's rebellion is, I'm going to be equal to that, I'm going to be better, I don't need you. To which I don't have much answer for. I agree, you don't need that. You need what God has created and what He has designed, and that is true manhood with biblical character, knowing how to have a relationship that is right with the Lord and with His wife. And so I say, the Bible talks about this, and it's very, very much... illustrated here. A weaker yet prized vessel is protected. A weaker yet prized vessel is delighted in. It is handled with care. It's honored. We could attribute this to a china set maybe. And it is to be treated with care and respect. When we use the good china that we have, nobody touches that but mom or dad, right? Because we're going to take care of it. We care about it. And I'm not saying our kids don't, but we want to be a little extra careful. So we give honor to that. And so that's what we're talking about tonight as well. You know, it's something that we, well, let's go on. Let me just understand. First of all, she is the weaker vessel. Number two, she is just as important to God as you are. Notice the Bible says in verse number seven, as under the weaker vessels and as, so this is another reason why we give honor, not only is she the weaker vessel, but as being heirs together of the grace of life. So there is a weaker vessel here, but it gives me no right to think of myself as superior because the Bible says that together we are the heirs of the grace of life. God has just as much plan for a wife as he does for a husband. She has the potential to be just as useful in the cause of Christ as I have the potential to be useful in the cause of Christ. She has just as much value in the economy of God as any person else. And I'm saying tonight that it's important because it's together. Notice the Bible says heirs together, all right? And there's a unity in that that we bear together. And by the way, the Bible talks about that. Husband shall leave his mother and father shall be joined his wife and they too shall be one flesh. So the idea is there is a unity there. And by the way, that's why marriage is so hard. You have two people that are trying to put away their individuality and take on an identity as one together. That not only is against our spirit and against our humanity, but it's also against culture. You know what culture says? Two people get together, they have a agreeable, amiable contract, and they agree on all these things, and they live together in harmony as business partners, and they're better because they're two, and they can be stronger and more powerful and do what they need to do. No. There's nothing about that. In marriage, you put aside your identity. You lay it down. You reject your own identity and you have an identity as one in Christ. That's hard. By the way, it takes a lifetime. And people who do it right, it's a beautiful thing. And it's a wonderful thing because that's the way God intended for it to be. Then let's go on if we can let me give you number four tonight, then I said number three Husbands honor your wives. I gave two reasons for that Giving honor is based on those two reasons. Let me give you number four notice again in verse number seven That your well, yeah that your prayers be not hindered interestingly enough Peter's instructions to the wife explicitly refer to an unbelieving husband, yet the instructions here to the husband implicitly assume that the wife is a believer. Isn't that something? I don't know why, but it just seems that wives, ladies have the tendency to just kind of get it more, spiritually speaking. And I think it's not a good situation, but throughout history we've seen that. But the fact here remains that God wants us to lead them spiritually. Notice if you would, let me give you a couple thoughts on this as we close tonight concerning this matter of leading in a spiritual sense. Men, you cannot lead without being out in front. My dad always said, if you're leading and nobody's following, you're just out for a walk. right? And I think that's true. You know, sometimes we like to, as men, we see where this train's going and we want to be the leader, so we run out in front of it, right? And pretend like we're the leading this whole thing, and we're not. You're just out front. There's a big difference. But you cannot lead unless you're in the front. And what I mean by that is you cannot lead unless you are where Everybody needs to go. Think about this, men. We're talking about your prayers being hindered, and this spiritual leadership here. Think about this. If you aren't praying for your wife, how much prayer is she getting? Think about who else is praying for her. If you don't have the answers or the direction for what God wants for you guys to do or navigating child rearing and all of these things, if you don't have the answers, who does? You better have the answer, husband. You better know. And you say, well, I don't have all the answers. Neither do I. You know what? We can find the answers. Wisdom is available. It's crying out to us, Proverbs tells us, in the streets. There's no excuse to be ignorant. There's no excuse to say, I didn't know, I don't know, no. Get out there and find out what it is and learn it. That's what the Bible's talking about. So leading spiritually is very important. And you cannot lead without being in front. Husbands, lead in the knowing of, the studying of, the wisdom of the teaching of God. Wives, let him lead. But husbands, step up and make that a priority in your life. Make sure you're the one. And again, it's not exercising authority or asserting some sort of a power over. That's not leading. Leading is being out front. It is being that better person, being a man of character, being a man that is of principles. That's what leading is. Primarily, leading is example. And it is followed because they see something that is true there. If you have to say, because I'm the husband, that's why, you've already lost. Because there ought to be some sort of leading that is from that example, from that conviction that has been established. And so number one, you can't lead without being out front. But number two, you can't lead without prayer. I think it's interesting tonight that the way we treat our wives, it seems to indicate, has a bearing on whether our prayers are hindered or not. Well, I pray a lot. Well, that doesn't matter because if you're not treating your wife right, if you're not having the right relationship with your spouse, let me tell you, the Bible says that our prayers are hindered. They're powerless. Prayer is the lungs through which Christianity breathes. Peter explicitly links, again through the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, the being a good husband with this matter of prayer. And I say tonight that the prayer that we must have as husbands is absolutely essential, but it will not be right if we're not right with our wives. And so our prayer life can be hindered in two ways. We just stop praying because we don't see any point in it, or we don't see the results from it, and we're praying in vain. There's no power, there's no effect there, and so we don't have what we're praying for. On the other hand, if you maintain and grow a relationship of knowledge and wisdom and intimate relationship with your wife, your prayer life can become a powerful and precious aspect of your marriage. Something that I am very keen and desiring more and more, to have a prayer life based on a good relationship. It brings unity to your marriage. And my wife has often told me, she said, sweetheart, the most romantic thing you can do, the best thing you can do is pray with me, pray for me. And I tell you that, and sometimes I think, well, what's the big deal? But the fact of the matter is it's vital and it's convicting. It brings answers to prayer. It helps us in our spiritual walk. It brings God's blessings to our family. And so it is absolutely important that we lead our wife spiritually. And when we do not, our prayers will be hindered, the Bible talks about. Now, husbands, I beat us up here for a couple minutes. I want you to know we can do this. Amen. And all you young people sitting there saying, man, I don't want to be a husband. That sounds terrible. No, no, no. It's awesome. It's the best relationship that you could ever have in your life. And let me tell you, it is the most profitable. It is the most fulfilling. It is absolutely, when we do it God's way, it is the best relationship ever. And I wanna encourage you tonight that we not be discouraged, but we come into obedience. We come into agreement with this. And we make this a matter of priority. Christianity makes a happy home. And as the world gets darker and families and homes are falling apart around us, your home is going to become more and more of a, really a spotlight to the world. They're going to be looking, your neighbors, your family, your unsaved workers, co-workers and everything else, they're going to be looking and understanding there's something different about that. I want to tell you tonight that it's a big deal. Let the principles reign in any family which are here and joined by the Apostle Peter, and that family will be one of intelligence, contentment, and peace. There is a simple and easy way of being happy in the family relation. It is to allow the Spirit of Christ and His gospel to reign there. With that done, though there be poverty, disappointment, sickness, care and loss, yet there will be peace within, for there will be mutual love and the cheerful hope of a brighter world." Husbands, may we make our highest priority to build a scriptural marriage to that wife that we've been given. Let us through it then bequeath to the world the example of how God wants a lifelong commitment of partners to last and to work for His glory. And we can hand to our children the testimony of faith and respect and love and a glory to God based on that. Let us above all men be deep Christians. I'm talking about Christians who are not just surface but who understand God's word and they understand God's will and let us then produce spiritual homes for the Lord. Men, that's our job. And our church is only as healthy as the men leading the homes. I'm thankful for good wives and good women. Praise the Lord for that. But men, God has called us to be the leader. We need to step up. We need to make this a priority. Make this a commitment. And let's have Jesus Christ as the head of our home. and praise the Lord, let's have that first and foremost at home. Not at a church where everybody can see, not just out in the workplace, but at home, that's where we need to see that. May the Lord help us in that.