Ephesians chapter 5 verse number 22 through 23 Ephesians 5 22 wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord for the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church and he's the Savior of the body therefore as the church is subject unto Christ so let the wise be to their own husbands in everything husbands Love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it, that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church. For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. for this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined unto his wife and they too shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself and the wife see that she reverence her husband. Let's pray. We need help tonight. I pray for strength and wisdom and guidance and direction. I plead the blood upon this place and just ask him that your will would be done. Help our minds to be focused upon you and upon what you're doing, what our need is, and just look to you for leadership and guidance in every way. Help us, Lord. We're a needy people tonight. I pray you'd plow the soil of hearts, make it good ground, plant the seed, water the seed, bring forth a harvest in that good hearts tonight that you've made. and even tonight do that work and finish it in the days to come and we'll thank you for what you do. I'm thankful that you're faithful tonight. I thank you that you, you that have begun a good work will perform it under the day of Christ. If we'll, we'll, we'll continue in your Word. You said that. We're thankful for that. I pray that somebody get hold of the promises of God that you'll utter it to them, that'll build faith and it'll bring them to a saving faith that they may be saved and we'll thank you for what you do. Now help us tonight. Let no one quench your spirit. speak to our hearts, help us to be sensitive to you, reveal truth, expose error, edify the saints and exalt the Savior and Lord just help us. We're unneedy people tonight. May you help us. I want to say I love you. Help me to love you more day by day. Help me to walk in your willing way and give us the understanding we need and the words we need and the recall we need tonight. And the love and the compassion that we need, and we'll thank you for what you do. For we ask it all in Jesus' name, for his sake, we do pray. Amen. You may be seated. dealing with a series called, Except the Lord Build a House, using a text verse over in the book of Psalms 127. He said, Except the Lord build a house, they labor in vain that build it. Except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh, but in vain. In other words, the The Lord must do everything in our lives. He must build the house in the sense of the house of salvation. We could apply it that way. Realizing that salvation is the Lord. He initiates it. He works it. He works it out. He consummates it. It's all of him. It's not of us. He's the one who's got to give you faith. He's the one that's got to work repentance in you. He's the one that's got to bring you to the end of yourself. He's the one that saves you. He's the one that gets all the glory. You cannot touch the glory of God in real salvation. So I pray that He'll build a house of salvation in some souls in these days and in this place and around this country for God's glory. But we've also, looking in another area, talking about accept the Lord, build a house. It's not just a house, even though we sometimes talk about the house as far as the home situation is concerned. But in our homes, the Lord must build a home. And that's what He's dealing about in a sense. You can have a house and not have a home. You can have a pretty house and some people say, My, isn't that a beautiful home? You don't know what's inside it. If you don't know what's in there, you don't know what home is like. The home is a unit of the people. As I said last week, you can have a home where you can have snow come in on the covers at night when it snows and still have a home that honors and glorifies God. We wouldn't think too much of the house. but it can be a home unit that really honors and glorifies God. And that's what we need. That's what God wants us to have. And except the Lord build that, it'll not be the home that God would have it to be. It'll not be that unit that God would have it to be. So we've looked at that, and we said failure to meet our responsibility leads to, it's really, it causes us to be wicked. And wickedness leads to a curse, and a curse leads to judgment. and therefore we need to meet our responsibility. Now we've been dealing for some time now on different areas of this as far as responsibility is concerned. You remember I told you a story that's supposed to be a true story. Johnny Unitas was a football player and he saw the boy crying on the street one day had a football pitch in there and he's crying he said son what's wrong and he said uh he said in football if you're off sides doesn't it doesn't it affect the whole team and johnny unites said yes it affects the whole team and he said why he said well daddy come home drunk today and And got after Mama and whooped on Mama a little bit and run us kids off and said, Daddy's offsides. And because he's offsides, we're all affected, we're all harmed. In other words, if anybody's offsides, it'll affect the whole home unit, whether it be Mama, Daddy. or the children as well. When you're offsides, it brings a failure to meet your responsibility. It's wicked, and that brings a curse, and that brings judgment. Now, you don't have to be drunk to be offsides. You can just be disobedient. You can have a secret sin that you think nobody else knows about, but God still knows about it. You can have a failure. You can fail to walk in light, obey the light that God has for you, and as a result, be offsides and affect your whole family. And as I said last week, we talked about the responsibility in the home, in the Lord building that home unit. We said that that is, and husbands have the greater responsibility of the two. I know that most preachers, when they preach about the husband-wife relationship, the first thing they do is hit number 22 and say, wives, submit yourself to your own husbands. And they'll hammer that and hammer it and hammer it till they hammer it. the ground and they don't talk too much about the husband but I deal with the husband I believe if you'll meet your responsibility husbands I believe you'll have a wife and be glad to respect you and and submit to you if you'll meet your responsibilities so we see husbands we have the greater responsibility we're going to have to answer for God for how our family turns out we're the one that God looks to for as the head and You realize that we need to understand that because he's looking to us and he's told us you have that responsibility. And of course the wives are to submit. And if the husband will meet his responsibility the wives will be glad to submit in that area. Now I said last week that Christ's love for the church is a model for the husband's love that he should have for his wife. He said there in verse number 25 of Ephesians 5 Husbands love your own wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it I want to say this the Lord gave himself for the church because he loved the church and as a result Husbands, we have a responsibility using him as a model for our love love for our wives and you say well, what about it? well, and by the way, these principles apply to the wife to the husband and in many areas but husbands first I dealt with four things last week that if you'll meet these four things criteria in your home you'll have a home that the Lord builds and you'll have a home that honor and glorify him you'll have a wife that'll be submissive to you in the place she needs to be in and you can meet your responsibility we said first of all that Christ's love for the church was a sacrifice without complaint. He gave himself without complaining. He went to the cross, laid down his life, and didn't complain one iota. They didn't even have to force him on there because that's what he came for. He so loved us that he gave his life. And you and I, as husbands, we need to sacrifice at times for our wives, but yet we don't need to complain. When we complain, we lose what we've wrought. We lose the points we've gained, in other words, when we complain about sacrificing. Well, you just don't know how much I had to do to get to work this way and to get this food on the table, blah, blah, blah, blah, and then you've just lost it all. Just be what you need to be and meet your responsibility of sacrificing. It's going okay. Take some sacrifices in these days. I remember in 1986 before I came here in 87, I remember that year was one of the hardest years of my life. I mean I enjoyed where I was working at the B&G tractor place and I enjoyed that but I hated every minute of it because I knew I had somewhere else to be. But yet I worked and it was honestly the most miles I've ever driven in my life. In one year we put 70 something thousand miles on two vehicles. That's not counting what we put on the company vehicles on top of that. And went to preach for Brother Ray and I enjoyed that but yet have to go down there and come home at midnight on Sunday night. And I had a little trailer. I'd pull inside the place up there at Paris. I'd come back to Paris, and I'd get inside that trailer and get me a nap. And when they'd come in and turn on the lights, they'd wake me up the next morning. Time to go to work, you know. But many, many days we spent, I would say as many as 80 hours a week at work. traveling and driving and then also go down there on the weekend, drive back, run, run, run, sacrificing. But I'll tell you what, I had to do it because I'll tell you, things was tough. It took something to put the food on the table, amen. But I don't know, I guess I complained some, but I didn't complain toward my wife because my wife was good to me, amen. She was good to me during those times. I mean, I'd come in and be so tired and wore out and she'd give me a rub down and I kind of liked that, amen. But get me up and ready to go the next morning. And new mercies each day, amen? But what I'm saying, husband, meet your responsibility. Even if it's sacrificing, you must sacrifice because there's times it's going to call for the extra mile and you've got to do it, but you don't need to complain about it and grumble about it. If you do, you've lost everything you've built up and you've not really met your responsibility. Jesus went to the cross. and said, I love you this much, and spread his arms, and they nailed him to the cross. Sacrifice without complaint. That's what he had for us, what our husbands need to have for their wife. Second thing Christ had was forgiveness without reminder. He looked down, and he said, Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do. And listen, the Bible says, your sins and iniquities will I remember no more. He forgets them. There's forgiveness from when? When God forgives you, it's over with. He'll never bring it up again. He'll never throw it in your face. There may be things that happen that cause you to be reminded of them, because you won't forgive yourself, but He'll never remind you of them again. And whenever you forgive your wife or something, or each way, this works both ways, when you say, I forgive you, don't bring it up again. Let it lie. Leave it there. Leave it behind, because every time you bring it up, it's going to create a problem and division in that home. You need to let it lie when you forgive something in order to be forgiven I know you can't forget like God forgets but you can let not let it influence you and and affect you as far as being Influencing you in the home, but forget those forgiving without reminder in other words It's what you need to do. And by the way that works both ways because we both know I have problems we both are not perfect, but love charity hides a multitude of sin that applies in the home And that's what God won't and then there's that giving without getting in other words It's more blessed to give than to receive But sometimes we condition our wives and that Jesus gave everything for us and wasn't expecting anything in return In fact, he gave his life for even those that will never come to him Amen? He's a propitiation for the sins of the whole world. And yet, we sometimes, we will not give our wives and do the extra thing or go the extra mile in the sense because unless we're going to get something. I said last week that sometimes if you was to bring home some flowers in the middle of the week and it's nothing special day and she'll say, what have you done now? You know? I mean, you give. What do you want now? They're expecting something in return. And you've conditioned them that way. So give without getting. And that's what Jesus did for the church. And then there's selflessness without resentment. He never resented one thing He did for us. How many times have you done something for your wife and you resent what you've done? You might not say anything, but down deep you resent it. God knows about it. But you need to have, in other words, a selfless, being selfless. It's not me. In other words, we're as one, and we should work toward that end. And sacrifice without complaint, forgiveness without reminder, giving without getting, and selflessness without resentment. That's what Jesus did for the church. And we're the church, by the way. The saints of God are. His love for the church is the model for the husband's love for the wife. And if we'll meet that responsibility, we'll have a wife that'll be willing to submit to us in the right perspective. for God's glory, all right? Let's go a little further tonight now, except the Lord built the house. We said that Christ, we're dealing with the husband's responsibility. Somebody said, good, we'll get on the wives tonight. No, we're going to stay on the husband for a while, amen? Because there's the real problem. There's the one God looks to. God looks to the husband and you're going to have to answer to God one day for the whole condition of your wives and your children, you're going to have to answer before God. Well, not only is love for the church a model, but Christ's relationship to the church suggests three things a wife needs that her husband should provide. I'm talking about his relationship to the church, and it's in our text verse here. First one's found in verse number 23 when he said, For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and he is the Savior of the body. In other words, his relationship to the church was he's the Savior. You say, well, I can't be a Savior. I can't save my wife. I'm not talking about saving their soul from sin. The Lord's got to do that. But the word Savior is a word preserver or sustainer. In other words, that Jesus not only saved them from sin and was a savior in that sense, but he, the church could depend upon Jesus wholly and completely because he sustained them. He preserved them. They never had a need for anything they really needed. Now sometimes we think we need things that we didn't get. Oh, the Lord wasn't good to me. He didn't give me this or He didn't give me that. I want to tell you, our Lord gave us, as the church, everything we needed. He's our Savior. Not only delivered us from sin, but He sustains us, and He preserves us in that sense. And the same is still true today, not just in the day when Jesus died on the cross. If we'll walk by faith, we'll have everything that God wants us to have, in other words, as a church, from our Lord, who is our Savior. But now we're to, he is our, as far as this, he is our, his relationship as Savior suggests something to us as husbands. In other words, we ought to be, it ought to be the same way for our wives. We ought to fulfill that responsibility to be her preserver, her sustainer, her Savior in that sense. Not saving her soul from sin. I understand, I want you to know that. But you realize something? We ought to be willing to try to supply her needs. Now, I didn't say won'ts. Sometimes our won't to is a way a whole lot more than our needs, amen, needs to be. I mean, boy, I'll tell you, somebody said, I'll tell you, so-and-so, he's got a wife that's a high-maintenance wife or a girlfriend that's high-maintenance. Well, I won't tell you if it's just a need. It's not going to be high-maintenance. You can meet the need. God will enable you to meet the need. It may not be the wants, but the need. So in that sense, you're to his relationship, and these all connected, these three things, but that relationship suggests that the husband should provide for the wife, he should be the savior in the sense of being a preserver and a sustainer of those things that she needs. Another word here in our text verse, in verse number 29, that Jesus was his relationship to the church was, He said in verse 29, For no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church. Now the word nourisheth is the word I'm looking at first there, and then the third word is the word there which talks about cherisheth, cherisheth it, two words in the same verse, the three, Savior nourisheth and cherisheth, the three words. Now the word nourisheth means to bring up. To rear up to maturity. In other words, Jesus took care of his church as his own body. When he not only saved them and delivered them from sin, but he reared them up to maturity. He's growing us up to grace. Did he not say that we're predestined? And don't be afraid of that word. Has nothing to do with a lost man. But those that are in Christ, He predetermined that you're going to be made and conformed to the image of His Son. That means you're going to have to be grown up to maturity. We're not mature spiritually, but He's doing that. He's taking care of us in that sense. And so therefore, it means to bring up in the rear maturity. Jesus took care of His church as His own body. In other words, because it is His own body, He said. And listen, wives, you know something? We ought to love our wives as our own flesh because she is our own flesh. Did not the Bible say in Genesis chapter 2 there in the garden when he when God created Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve as I said while ago but he created Adam and Eve and he said in chapter 2 verse 23 and Adam said this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh you shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh. In other words, there should be some leaving and some cleaving. Amen. There should be leaving and cleaving and sticking together like glue because you are one flesh. You are as one. And he said, therefore you ought to take care of her as you would your own body, because that's what Jesus did for the church. He nourisheth it up and took care of it as its own body. In other words, how do you treat your own body? Well, your own flesh, what do you do? I mean, you really rest it when it gets tired. You should wash it, amen. I've seen some that they didn't, but you should wash it and take care of it. You should feed the body. And it looks to us, we do a pretty good job of that part, feeding the body. We take care of it. And you get in pain, you usually go to a doctor, and you take care of your body. You know something? We should take care of our wives as we would our own bodies. He said, Preacher, do you always do it? No, we fail. We're dishuman, I understand, but we ought to be striving toward that goal in our lives, amen, of doing that, because she is our body. If we'll meet that responsibility and have this relationship of nourishing, first of all, of being a savior, sustainer, and preserver, and also nourishing, to bring up in the rear maturity. And the third word, the relationship Jesus had this church, found verse 29 as well, cherisheth the church. That word cherisheth means to brood over. It means to warm. It means to provide warmth and heat. It describes a mother bird what she does on a cold night. In other words, she spreads her wings and her chickens, little chicks come up under her. She gets next to her warm body and she'll put those down over her and she faces the cold. She endures the cold night and her chickens rest through the night in the warmth of her body. In other words, she takes care of her chicken. Cherish it. That's what Jesus did for the church, if you please. She, that little hen, she exposes her body to the coal and the elements to protect her young. You know something? Jesus did that for the church and he would have done that for all. Bible says in Matthew chapter 23 verse number 37, as he stood, I believe, on the Mount of Olives overlooking the city of Jerusalem, I believe he was weeping when he said this, O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, thou that killest the prophets, and stonest them which are sinned unto thee, how often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathers her children under her wings, and ye would not. I would have gathered you. I would have warmed you. I would have cherished you if you just came, but you would not come. You would not. And as a result, he I mean, he did that. He would take care of him. Everybody, even though they did not come, he would have done it for all. And that's what the Lord did for us. And that's what He's still doing for us today. He's cherishing us, if you please. Warming us. Taking care of our needs. And all these words are overlapping. Savior, nourish us and cherish us. And so therefore, that's what we need to do for our wives. Cherish her, cherish her. Warmth, give her warmth and heat. That may mean at night she can crawl in bed and put her cold feet on you and get warmth. What the word means, amen, and well, that's all right, that's what you're supposed to do, amen. Nothing wrong with it, ooh, but don't complain. If you sacrifice and don't complain, you'll get in trouble, amen, but cherish her. In other words, you do that, you realize something, that bird, those babies get so close that they're warm and cozy and their needs are met. And that equals security, and you know that's what we need, meet that responsibility in our wife so that she'll have security. God made it that way. You know she needs perfect and complete security from us. I'm talking about the husband. We're living in a different society today than we was 50 years ago. I mean ERA, Equal Rights Amendment, come out and said we're going to equal rights. Well, I don't know why a woman would want to lower herself. for equal rights, amen. To get equal rights, you're really lower in your position that God made you, amen. You're the height of God's creation and to come down equal with a man, you're lower than yourself, really. But this equal rights movement caused people in our society, they fled the nest. They got out and got their own job. And in other words, and then what happens after a while, if you're not careful, husband, if you're not meeting your, and I know, I know we're living in a time when it's tough. I know that it's not easy to even make the bills, I understand that, and I'm not trying to fuss at you that way, but God never intended for you to do that. But after World War II, whenever they come back from the war, the women had been in the plants, helped her boys fight the war, but instead of them coming home and taking care of the home like they should, they lacked their freedom, they stayed in the plants, and then everybody wanted two cars, two garages, and two bigger houses, and bigger, this materialism set in, and so God said, if that's the way it's gonna be, I'm gonna fix it before they both have to work, and still can't hardly get by. Amen. And that's about the way it is today. And so we're reaping what we sowed. But yet God will make a way if you'll meet his responsibility. But this thing of this thing of the woman feeding, fled, fled in the nest just because she wants to go out there and make a little extra money, do her own thing. After a while, she'll get out there and she'll get a little independent. She'll say, look, here, I'm making my own money. I'll do my own thing. Why do I need him anyway? Now, she may not say it out loud, but she says it, and if you're not careful, somebody will tell her that. Why do you need him? Because the communication's out there sometimes. In other words, partly to blame is the husband who failed to provide security for his wife in three areas for when she moves out that way. Well, there's a physical security. I'm talking about perfect and complete security. But that physical security, she gets up in the night and she hears something. God says she's the weaker vessel. She hears something in the house and she thinks a burglar's in the house. And you laugh at her and make fun of her. Get up and check the house, even though you may not think it's their husband. Get up and check it, amen? Come back and let her know you have done your duty and there's nothing in the house to harm her, take care of her, amen? But you're so lazy sometimes, you know there's just something you're hearing. And she may be hearing something, but get up and check it, amen? Get up and check the house, don't laugh at her. In other words, because she thinks there's somebody else in there. That fear's real to her, by the way. She needs physical security, and we need to let her know that we care for her. And go and look, and she'll be secure, physically secure, because she said, my husband will fight anybody that comes around their house, will fight them, amen? That's what you need. Well, there's a financial security involved in this too. I'm talking about complete security. 1 Timothy chapter 5, verse number 8, he said, Now sometimes women get unbalanced, amen, and men do too. But they want so much, and used to be, I mean years ago when I first preached this, they had Mark 4s. What have they got now? How far did they go up with those Mark 4? 5, 6, 7, 8? How far did they go? I don't even know. Y'all don't know either. I don't know. Is that a Ford or is that a wrong brand? I don't know what it is. But they want the Cadillac. They want something. They want something different than what you've got. They want the best, in other words. They want to have a new dress every other day. Huh, that's sometimes the sorts of can't satisfy maybe and I mean that's but that's that's the wrong attitude They need to have but sometimes that's that's the wrong a position to have but folks listen. We're talking about financial security We don't need to be unbalanced. Listen, you don't have to be fancy You don't have you may not be able to eat t-bone steak every meal, but you might bet dried beans and cornbread but thank the Lord for that somebody said he What you do is eat the beans for breakfast and swell up for dinner and drink water for dinner and swell up for supper, amen? Well, whatever. But you have to do what you've got to do. I mean, you have to go that way. In other words, I know times are tough and they may get tougher before it's over with, but put forth your best effort as far as meeting the financial obligation for that home. Don't be a lazy bum, but get out there and sacrifice without complaining. Take that extra mile, go that extra way. I remember in 1986, I mean, we had to scramble. I'm talking about my financial statement, if you'd have looked at it, it was the lowest it had ever been in my life, amen? And I worked more and worked harder, but I'll tell you what, God still rewarded it, amen? But I didn't, I warned my family at least to get by. They didn't know all about it, but I had to scratch and scramble. And work extra time and overtime and every other thing to get the job done. And that's what you need to do. Amen? Do it and then don't come home grumbling and complaining about it. If you do, you've lost all, you've built up. Honey, I love you. I want to take care of you. I respect you. I may not be able to do it, but at least you know I'm going to try. to do my best he said if you don't you're worse than an infidel amen and and you you do what that you make the best effort that you can in that area and she'll respect you now remember and she'll be proud of you I mean she'll do that and you remember here sacrifice without complaint will cause you to in other words to lose some points with her if you please and that won't have the respect that And if you'll have it, not complaining, you'll gain points, but if you don't, if you complain about it, you'll lose those points. And by the way, she'll be happy then with a Martha Whiteflower sack dress. Now that, boy, that's out of our time, isn't it? But how many of you, don't very many remember the old Martha Whiteflower, 25-pound sacks, you got them, used to have pillowcases and you'd get those things, sew them together and make dresses out of them, right? what they did at home when I was a boy growing up. And you know what? She would have been glad to get that back in those days. But now, got to have the best. Got to be from the highest priced place. And it may not be any better made than it would be from some of the cheaper places. Amen? It's all right. Amen? I tell them sometimes when you see my suits, before I get my suits, if you see a loose thread, please don't pull it. Amen? Because there's nothing wrong. I don't mind wearing seconds and thirds, amen? In fact, I look for them bargains. I hate to pay the high prices they ask for those things. So if you see a thread, my wife saw a thread on one the other day, I said, cut it, don't pull it. Because you know what, it might come unraveled all the way up. You know what I'm talking about? But the thing about it, meet your responsibility in that area. But physical security, financial security, do the best, in other words, And by the way, sometimes men make a lot of money and they just try to buy security. And the husband may say, well, my wife knows I love her. Look at what I bought her. I mean, I give her this and I give her that. But no, she really don't want things. She wants you. which he wants you. Christ did not leave one thing materially for the church. The Bible said in Luke chapter 9, verse number 58, And Jesus said unto him, Foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man hath not where to lay his head. He did not leave one thing physically to the church, but he supplied all their needs. Did he not say in Philippians 4.19, But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory through Christ Jesus our Lord. Listen, the greatest need we may have sometimes may be a need, amen, but He'll supply what we need. He provided everything, and your wife needs the necessities of life, so give her security in the area of physical security, financial security, and then there's also emotional security. In other words, she needs to know everything's going to be okay. Jesus did that for the church. Here He is in the upper room. And of course Judas went out to betray him and he begins to talk to the other eleven and somewhere even after he left the upper room, I don't know exactly where he said what, but John 14, 15 and 16 he talked to them as he's on the way to the garden of Gethsemane, some of it in the upper room, and he said in John 14, 1, let not your heart be troubled. You believe in God, believe also in me. In other words, don't let your heart be troubled. And then he made this statement in John, chapter number 14, verse number 18. He said, I will not leave you comfortless. I will come unto you. I'm fixing to leave you, but don't let your heart be troubled. I'm not going to leave you comfortless. I'm going to come unto you in the person of the Holy Spirit of God. And therefore, he'll be alongside to aid you and to give you comfort. See, he sent the comforter and gives us comfort today. And the wife needs to know that everything is going to be okay. Our wives need assurance of our uninterrupted attention and concern. Jesus gave that to the church, the disciples, if you please. In the book of Mark, chapter number 5, or Mark 6, verse 46 through 50, we find that Jesus is out there after He'd been on the, there and fed the 5,000 was fed, but He said, verse 46, And when He had sent them away, He put them in a boat, sent them across the sea, and He departed up into a mountain to pray. And when evening was come, the ship was in the midst of the sea, and He alone on the land. And He saw them toiling and rowing, for the wind was contrary unto them. And about the fourth watch of the night he cometh unto them walking upon the sea, and would have passed by them. But when they saw him walking upon the sea, they supposed it had been a spirit, and cried out. And they all, for they all saw him, and were troubled. And immediately he talked with them, and said unto them, Be of good cheer, it is I. Be not afraid. You realize something? He comforted his disciples. He gave them assurance. He was careful to assure his disciples of his attention, even while he's up on the mountain praying. I saw you while I was up there praying. In other words, he was engaged in other matters, but he still had his mind on his disciples. Our wives need the assurance of our uninterrupted attention as well. You see, our vocation must not threaten our wives. Whatever you do should not threaten your wife. She needs to come to the place to believe that you have her on your heart, that you'll go the extra mile. You've got her on your heart and your mind, and that's whether it's a secular job or a sacred job. And let me say this, that's really not right. The world has classified it secular. and sacred, but there are no such things, really. They're all sacred. Every job you have, no matter where you are, if you'll dedicate it to the Lord, it's a sacred job, and you ought to let her know that you're working for the Lord. I mean, you're not drawing your pay from that boss out there, amen? I mean, in other words, The world will hoodoo you, but I'm going to tell you, our Lord won't. He'll give you what you need. My God will supply all your needs. See, what you may need is something to get you in line, to line up with Him. And so, therefore, He'll help you out in those areas. Amen? But if you'll dedicate that job, you'll say, somebody will say, you're working for so-and-so. No, I'm working for the Lord. Who pays you? The Lord does. He may use some instrumentality, if you please, some of these plants or wherever. He may use barrack maintenance to pay you. Amen. Amen. Amen. That's all right. But you dedicate that job to the Lord is what I'm saying. And even as owners of the business, you dedicate it to the Lord, and you're working for the Lord. You're not working for yourself. It's a sacred job in that sense. And therefore we ought not to say it's sacred or secular. The world's divided that way. It all ought to be sacred in the Lord's work, if you please. And when we do that, then we can help our wives to realize it does not threaten the wife, if you please, in other words. And also in this area that we're talking about emotional security, she needs intimate communication and fellowship. And folks, we all have a problem with that in the world we live in today. We just don't talk enough. We don't communicate enough. What happens is, a lot of times, we come home after being on the job hard, and we just don't communicate. How you doing? I'm doing fine, you know. I'm doing fine. And we wonder why there's so much trouble. I mean, you know, I could insert here right now. I mean, you know, comes home, and the wife's all dressed up in the long housecoat, been in it all day, and sat there. And then you want to go out somewhere. She said, like this? You used to dress for him. Now you dress for them. Amen? I mean, it wouldn't hurt to put on a little hookum-pookum powder and sort of spruce yourself up. You might have a little more communication when you got home, amen? But the thing about it is, when she comes home, what happens, we're not careful. We've got a routine we go through. In other words, come home, and the TV takes away the communication, and then she begins to try to tell you what all she had to go through today, and you've got your head in the news, and you say the world situation's more important than what you had to face today. Hey, I've been there, done that, amen. I've been guilty. Wife say something three times and then, you know, and then finally it wretched her on me. You know what I'm saying? But this is where we need to be with communication. She said, in other words, the world is in a mess and the reason is right here. In our homes, if you please. Husbands not meeting their responsibility. And so what after that? After you get through with that, you pick up the paper and you read the paper. Supper's ready, so you go over and eat supper. And then you go back to the TV and while you're watching the TV, you take a nap. And then you get up and wake up from the nap and go back to the TV and then you go to bed and go to sleep for the night. You wake up, breakfast is ready and off to work you go for the same old routine the next day and hadn't spent real five minutes with your wife. Amen? Now, you wives may have been me, all right? Am I not right? We're all guilty in some areas of lack of communication. And then what happens? She goes out there on the job if she works out there. And then after a while, she'll find somebody to talk to her. And they'll communicate. And you didn't do it at home. And you wonder, why did she run off with that guy? Because he talked to her. That's what happens a lot of times. That's not right. But I'm saying that happens. Am I not right? Y'all afraid to get in, afraid to, but it happens. And Lord, help us to communicate more and meet her, give her some security. She needs assurance that you're with her. In other words, that you're there. And so as a result, you say, but what's wrong with her? I give her everything. Listen, she wants you. No communication in the home will lead to a broken home. But if you'll provide for her like Christ did for the church as a savior, sustain her, nourish her, and nourisheth and cherisheth her. If you'll provide, she'll respond, and there'll be honey in the home, and there'll be honey back in the honeymoon. Amen? Again, it can last and last and last for God's glory. Except the Lord build the house, lay labor and veins, what he said, that build it, God's got to do it, so may we realize He's our example. And listen, Christ's goal for the church is a model for every husband. Verse number 26 and 27, look what he said for the goal. Here in verse number 5, chapter 5 of Ephesians, that he might sanctify and cleanse it, talking about the church, with a washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. Listen, that was Christ's goal for the church. I'm going to make you without blemish, without spot. Christ knew that it was His responsibility to meet the spiritual need of the church. And you know something? The spiritual need is more important than the physical need. Our wife's problem is our problem. She's bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh. Now I understand we're not Christ. I understand that we don't have the same power that He had and the resources of omnipotent God. But men, we need to understand that the supernatural power and the supernatural tools are at our disposal today. to help our wives meet her responsibility, and it's our responsibility to do that with them. In other words, that they'll have the assurance that we need. In other words, to make them, to grow them up spiritually. You say, well, I can't understand that. Well, there's four reasons these supernatural tools are available. If you're saved, first of all, the life of Christ is in you. Bible said in Colossians 1 27 so if you're not saved you need that to help train your wife like God said and that's not trainer to be a puppet but it's to rear her up to maturity like God said you're responsible for her spiritual growth. Most of us don't know enough about the Bible and I'm talking about men that we don't know enough about it because we've never met our responsibility of studying it and we're afraid to train up our wives and say anything spiritual because she knows more about it than we do. And it ought not to be that way. God never intended for it to be that way. Amen. He wants the husbands to do it. And if you're saved, the life of Christ is in you. Colossians 1.27, he said, Christ in you, the hope of glory. Philippians 4.13, I can do all things through Christ which strengtheth me. And the second reason that they're available is we have the indwelling Holy Spirit if we're saved. And Ephesians chapter 3, verse number 16, listen to what he says. Ephesians chapter 3, I'll find it here in a moment. verse number 16, Ephesians 3.16, he said this, he said, that he would grant you according, this is Paul praying for the church at Ephesus, that he would grant you according to the riches of his glory to be strengthened with might by his spirit in the inner man. And verse 20 then says, now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think according to the power that worketh in us. And so we have, if you're saved, you've got the life of Christ in you, you've got the Holy Spirit, indwelling Holy Spirit, you have the word of God. Bible says this in the book of 2nd Timothy chapter number 3 verse number 16 and 17. He said all scripture is given by inspiration of God and is profitable for doctrine for reproof for correction for instruction and righteousness that the man of God may be perfect thoroughly furnished unto all good works. He said they've given you the word study the word get in the word find out what God wants you to do and teach your wife the life Living principles if you please he wants us to do that and we've all failed amen, but may God help us I'm putting it out here where we need to be as far as it's what he's saying here as far as the model for every Husband and also we have the church today and the church has the keys is that not correct the church Bible says Matthew 16 19 and And I'll give unto thee the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and that's the church, not Peter. But whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatsoever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. In other words, He's given us some keys. I don't know what all those keys are. Prayer is one of them. The Bible said in Matthew 18, verse 19, Again I say unto you, that if two of you shall agree on earth as touching anything that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven. So those four things are available to help us as husbands to mow the spiritual character of our wives. Christ met His responsibility and we as husbands need to meet our responsibility to our wives. His attitude, his life to the church, his love for the church is a model. His relationship to the church suggests three things that we should provide. His goal for the church is a model also for every husband. And except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain. He's got to build that home, that's what I'm saying. And may God help us to meet our responsibility. If we do, we'll have a little honey in the home. We'll have a little honey in these days in which we live. And as a result, in other words, you'll find your wife will respect you, reverence you, and submit to you like you will. and that way then you'll have to answer to God one day and it'll be better for you if you meet that responsibility. What kind of attitude are you going to take about that? Are you going to be like Hezekiah we said in the beginning of this message back some months ago? Hezekiah, you know, when he came and he did something wrong, the man of God said, you did wrong. But as a result of that, you're going to have a curse upon your house. Your sons are going to become eunuchs. And Hezekiah read back and said, oh, that it may be good and have peace and safety in my day. That's all I'm worried about. Folks, I'm going to tell you, that's not the attitude to take. Are you taking the attitude like David did when he went over to fight Goliath and his brother said, what are you over here for? Your curiosity killed the cat, got you out. But David said, is there not a cause? Is there not a cause to meet our responsibility? Sure there is. Or we take the attitude like Joshua, who stood up, didn't take a vote and asked his wife, said, honey, what do you think about this? Didn't ask the children, what do you think about this? I'm about to tell the children of Israel something. He said, now you choose whoever you want to choose to worship as far as the nation's concerned, but as for me and my house, we'll serve the Lord. And there wasn't no question about going to church. There ought not to be a question about if I'm going to church or when we're going. There wasn't no question in our house about going to church on Sunday morning. We was going, amen. We was going to church. We was going. I'm talking about after God did the work in the heart, amen. We was going. I'm always ready to go. And the children never did say, oh, we're going to church today. Are we going to church tonight? Are we going to church Wednesday night? There ought not to be a question about that. I mean, it's God's house. Hey, we're going to be there. As for me and my househusbands, you need to stand. And I'm not talking about some domineering tyrant that's overrunning your wife. I'm talking about one that's willing to sacrifice without complaining, willing to give without getting, willing to be selfless without resentment. And in other words, meeting your responsibility, and that wife will join right in, and oh, she'll respect you and she'll reverence you, You'll have a good report to give there when you meet the Lord one day, because you're going to have to give a report one day. We've got a lot to answer for. I mean, young people, listen, you've got to, if you could just come along and get hold of some of this, it'll help you in the days to come. We've missed out on some things. I've missed out on some things. I've failed in many areas. I'm not telling you I'm perfect. My wife would be the first one to tell you that. But by God's grace I want it to grow and I want the honey in the home. Amen. It's a lot better to have honey than it is that other kind. Amen. The bitter stuff. Amen. A lot better than that. And may the Lord help us to meet our responsibility and that wife will fall in line and submit herself to us and we'll have a home that the Lord built. not just a house, even though the Lord used the word, Psalm 127,1, except the Lord build a house, we're using that as a text, for except the Lord build a home, they labor in vain that build it. You can't build it unless the Lord does, but if you fail to meet your responsibility, you've not got a home. Amen? In fact, there's a curse upon it, and it's got to be lifted. God's got to get it off. May God help us to meet our responsibility. Now, as I said, much of this applies both ways, and we'll get around after a while to the women's part, all right? But it's not near as long as the men's. I don't think I'm hardly done with the men's part yet, amen? May the Lord help us and meet our responsibility. We've got the greater responsibility, because God put us there to answer, and we'll have to give an answer to Him. May the Lord help us and let Him build the house. Father, I pray you'd speak to our hearts tonight, let no one quench your spirit, help us to tap the resources you've given us to train our wives, to be what we need to be, help us to learn as men and be men of our households, to learn, embrace the truths of God's Word and to be men of our households. walk in the light that you've given us and be the spiritual leader in our home. Oh, dear Lord, help us in those areas. We need that at New Hope Baptist Church. We need that in our homes today. Help us to communicate. Help us to get things right between one another. We might sense and experience the honey in the home that you'd have us to have. Oh, do a work and help us to meet our responsibility as Christ met his. help us to be, help us to follow His example, and as a Savior, nourish and cherish them, and to rear our wives up in spiritual character like you'd have us to in these days, and we'll thank you for what you do, for we ask it in Jesus' name, for His sake we pray. Heads bowed, eyes closed, altars opened, will you mind the Lord tonight as she plays? Will you mind the Lord?