and how we need the Lord's blessing on our homes, don't we? If you have your Bibles there this morning please turn to the book of Proverbs and chapter 31. No doubt a well-known passage of scripture for any Christian lady present here this morning. It's one of the often quoted passages of scripture in relation to Christian womanhood. It's the kind of chapter where we take verses out of it and put them in our Mother's Day cards and other material and so a wonderful passage on the virtuous woman and that's what we're going to be looking at, God willing, this morning. the beginning of the week, I said to my wife, I said, maybe for Mother's Day, I'll preach a really hard hitting message on Jezebel. And I was joking. But anyway, no, we'll try and encourage you this morning, ladies, and maybe challenge you along the way a little bit as well. So Proverbs 31. as we look at the subject of the virtuous woman. And we're going to start by reading God's word from verse 10 down to 31. And I want you to notice a Christian womanhood from God's perspective, the kind of womanhood, the qualities of Christian womanhood that God has set out for us here in Proverbs 31. So reading from verse 10, the Bible says, who can find a virtuous woman for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. She seeketh wool and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchant's ships. She bringeth her food from afar. She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. She considereth a field, and buyeth it. With the fruit of her hands, she planteth a vineyard. She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. She perceiveth that her merchandise is good. Her candle goeth not out by night. She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. She stretcheth out her hand to the poor, yea, she stretcheth forth her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household, for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry, her clothing is silk and purple. Her husband is known in the gates when he sitteth among the elders of the land. She maketh fine linen and selleth it, and delivereth girdles under the merchant. Strength and honour are her clothing, and she shall rejoice in time to come. She openeth her mouth with wisdom, and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up and call her blessed, her husband also, and he praiseth her. Let's ask for the Lord's blessing upon his word this morning. Father, we give you thanks and praise again for the precious word of God and we pray that you give us open hearts to receive your instruction today. And Lord, we shouldn't be surprised that much of what is before us here in Proverbs 31 really flies in the face of what is in the popular culture today and what the world defines or would want to define a woman to be. And so Lord, we pray that you would give us teachable hearts and minds to receive your divine wisdom, knowing that your model for womanhood and your model for the home is always right and always best. we pray Lord that you would just minister this passage of scripture to every need here this morning even for the men that they might receive an encouragement as well that you would just minister to every need and that we look to you now for your blessing in Jesus name, Amen. Proverbs 31 is a prophecy that was taught to King Lemuel by his mother. You look at chapter 31 there, verse 1, the words of King Lemuel, the prophecy that his mother taught him. So what we have in Proverbs 31 is the wise counsel and teaching of a mother to her son. Now you say, who was King Lemuel? Well, we don't know for sure. There is no other reference to a King Lemuel in the Bible, but it is quite possible that this was Solomon. After all, Solomon is writing the book of Proverbs, and it could be that this was an affectionate name that his mother used when he was a child. She may have referred to him as King Lemuel. The word Lemuel there or the name Lemuel means belonging to God and so if that is the case it's quite instructive in and of itself. Who was Solomon's mother? Well that was Bathsheba and we know that Bathsheba had some terrible moral failings in her life. You remember the affair that she had, the adulterous affair with King David But here, if this is truly Bathsheba teaching her son, what a testament to the grace of God working in this broken woman's life, a woman who was not perfect, a woman who had some immorality in her history, but had come to know something of the grace of God to where she could come to the place of teaching godliness to her children. Could I maybe just encourage you about that at the outset here before we get into the text? Maybe that is your case. Maybe you can identify a little bit with Bathsheba and some of Bathsheba's activities in her past. Could I encourage you, though that may be in your past, if it's under the blood of Christ and if Christ has forgiven you and restored you, then you can teach your children the right thing. God can use you. Anyone cold in here? Okay, could we just not, nope, just notch it up one degree there, okay. We don't want cooked saints, but we don't want frozen saints either. All right. So we don't really know though, for sure. That is just a fairly possible scenario. Whatever the case may be, whoever King Lemuel was, this was a wise lesson, a wise set of principles that were taught to him by his godly mother. And don't mothers need to teach their children? and instruct their children in godliness and she gives wise counsel to her son in a number of areas and we don't have time to go all over it this morning but you'll find that really her instruction divides into two sections. In verse 1 to 9 she instructs her son about potential dangers and things that will hinder his leadership ability as he becomes a king later in life. It's not for kings to drink wine, she warns about the dangers of wine and she warns him about the dangers of women. the focus of our attention is on the second section in verse 10 to 31 where she instructs her son about the ideal kind of wife and helpmate who would help to be a facilitator of his leadership one day. And so really Proverbs 31 presents the ideal, it presents the model of Christian womanhood. And could I just say, ladies, as you read through this, don't get discouraged. If you're a Christian woman and you read through this, you're probably going to see certain things and think, man, I haven't arrived there. I haven't quite attained to that there either, okay. Could I say, don't be discouraged by that. We shouldn't be surprised that God's ideals are high ideals and that these are things that we can grow in and develop in. It's kind of like when the pastor reads the the pastor's qualifications. He's a fool if he reads over those and goes, yep, I tick all the boxes. No, he's going to read those and hopefully there's a measure of those things operating in his life but he's going to see, I've still got room to grow, I've still got more development in these areas and so it is with Proverbs 31. Don't be discouraged because you may feel that you don't match everything here, just be encouraged that God has presented to you the goals. This is what you're aiming for as a Christian woman and you can grow in those things as God helps you over time. So this passage on the virtuous woman is really relevant to all. Don't switch off if you're a man here. It's relevant to husbands that they might learn to better appreciate their wives and how God has blessed them with a virtuous wife. It's relevant to young men that they might understand the kind of helpmeet they need to be looking for. the kind of wife they need to be praying for. It's relevant to married ladies of course, wives and mothers that they would be encouraged in their high calling and of course to you too as a single woman, don't turn off on this either, you say well I'm not a wife or a mother yet but see what God has for you and what you should be aiming for and working for towards as a Christian woman who we trust will one day be a wife and help meet to somebody. So this passage before us gives us God's perspective on what a true Christian woman should be. Could I just emphasize that before we go any further? Because as we get into the text here there will be some things that are going to be a little confronting probably compared to our 21st century society. let's just remember that we have God's perspective here on Christian womanhood, we have the divine mind and God's way is always best. So what I've done is I've broken up the passage that we're looking at into three sections. We're going to look at the preciousness of a virtuous woman, Then we're going to look at the practice of a virtuous woman, what she does and how she serves. And then we're going to look at the praise of a virtuous woman. So that'll be the three headings for today. And we'll just seek to go through and be an encouragement. So firstly, notice the preciousness of a virtuous woman, the value that God's Word places upon this kind of woman. Verse 10, who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. I draw your attention there to the question revealing her value. There is a question that is asked that gives us insight into the value and the preciousness of a virtuous woman. The question here implies that this woman is rare. The question implies that she is hard to find, she's like a rare jewel and we need to be reminded of that this morning, that a virtuous woman only comes from God. Proverbs 19 verse 14 says, house and riches are the inheritance of fathers and a prudent wife is what? From the Lord. Proverbs 18 22 whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing and obtaineth favor of the Lord. Could I encourage the men under the sound of my voice this morning? If you have a godly wife, if you have a wife who loves God, if you have a wife who loves her Bible and is serious about living the Christian life, you don't know how blessed you are. Don't ever take for granted the blessing of a Christian wife. does the word virtuous actually mean? Perhaps you're wondering, well okay, I understand we're hearing about a virtuous woman, what does the word mean? Well it's very interesting, the word virtuous essentially refers to strength, Remember with the Lord Jesus when he healed the woman with the issue of blood and he sensed that virtue had gone out of him, power had gone out of him, strength had gone out of him and that's the sense of the word, it's translated valor in numerous places, many places in the Old Testament this word virtuous is translated valor. it's translated strength 1 Samuel 2 4 power 1 Samuel 9 1 valiant 1 Samuel 14 52 so we're talking about women of spiritual strength there's a lot of talk today isn't there about empowering women Actually what the world is actually doing is it is actually weakening women and damaging women. Here we have the truly empowered woman. We have a woman who is strong for godliness. Nothing wrong with being a strong woman if you know your role. Nothing wrong with being a strong woman if you're strong for the right things and strong for godliness and strong for righteousness and strong for God and for the things of God. So we see the question that reveals her value there. Then we see there's an illustration of her value. Look back at verse 10. So here the writer uses an illustration of the precious gem, the ruby, to highlight further her value. Her price is far above rubies. Rubies are precious gems. And what God is placing here is the highest value on a godly woman. You are precious, ladies. If you are a godly woman, you are of great value. Your value is far above any diamond or any ruby in this world. And again, could I encourage you men, if you have such a virtuous woman in your life, make sure you value her and thank God for her and treasure her. Don't complain about her godliness and the fact that she loves the Lord, you should be thankful about that. Then we see the demonstration of her value, verse 11 and 12. And so her value is demonstrated in her relationship to her husband. And this is fitting isn't it, because no one knows the value of a virtuous woman more than the husband privileged to be married to such a lady, if he's a good man. And sadly some men turn their backs on a virtuous woman and that's a tragedy, but this is how it should be. No one knows the value of the virtuous woman more than the man privileged to be married to her. You notice that she has the confidence of her husband, the heart of her husband doth safely trust in her. She's trustworthy, she's a woman of character, she's a woman that is worthy of her trust. It's a very interesting statement because as a general rule in the Bible, the Bible warns against putting any sort of trust in man. But again, it highlights just how valuable the virtuous wife is and how highly elevated she is in God's economy that her husband's heart can trust in her. The idea there is of finding a place of refuge. She has the confidence of her husband and she's a constant blessing to her husband. Look at verse 12. The Bible says, she will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. Can you see there's a consistency about this woman, there's a faithfulness about her, she will do him good and not evil all the days of his life, that's a good wife, a good woman. Sadly, some wives do do their husbands great evil. some husbands are smashed down and constantly vexed by a woman who dishes out evil to him and evil behavior and evil attitudes and all sorts of evil activity but not so the virtuous woman, she is a constant source of blessing and a constant source of encouragement to her husband. Perfect? No. No woman is but she is a constant source of blessing. Isn't that a wonderful thing when the wife in the home is a channel of blessing? Channel of blessing to her husband, a channel of blessing to her children and as we will see as the chapter unfolds, a channel of blessing to others as well. Oh how precious Christian womanhood is. Genesis 2.18 says, and the Lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone. I will make him and help meet for him. That's the Proverbs 31 woman. She's a helper to her husband, a compliment to her husband, an encouragement to her husband. So there we see the preciousness of the virtuous woman, high value. Could I just encourage you ladies, the world will not put this kind of value on Christian womanhood. The world will not appreciate very often your value. They won't see the point in you being a stay-at-home mum, for example, and channeling your life into those children. They won't see the value in you being a helpmate to your husband. By the way, we shouldn't be surprised that the world doesn't get Christian marriage, that the world doesn't get the biblical model of the home. Don't be surprised that what the world scoffs at, God highly esteems. so you're of great value and of great blessing and God places the highest value upon you as a woman like this. This is where you're going to find true meaning as well, as a woman, in your God-given calling. not a matter of equality brethren, often the world tries to make it out to be this issue of equality. We believe men and women are equal before the Lord but God has different roles, God has different functions and guess what? When the husband embraces his God-given function and the wife embraces her God-given function, guess what you have? Harmony in the home and blessing in the home. Remember dear ladies, you were created of God to be your husband's completer, not his competer. The world wants to make you a competitor, doesn't it? To ramp up the gender wars and the battle between the sexes and pitting men and women against each other. That is not God's way. So we have the preciousness of a virtuous woman. Then notice the practice of a virtuous woman and we don't have time to look at every intricate detail here but from verse 13 to 27 we have just a tremendous description of what this woman does. in a sense verses 10 to 12 tell us who this woman is, verse 13 to 27 tell us what she does, who she is and what she does and right towards the end of the chapter we'll get to the secret behind it all. You say how does this woman serve like this? How is it that she has such a wonderful spirit in the home and such a wonderful attitude? Well it all ties back to her spiritual life. So we see in these verses, the virtuous woman, she's an active and a serving woman. You know, you're going to be a wife and mother, you know, shouldn't you get out there and work? Do you know anything about the kind of work that goes into being a mother? And the kind of work that goes into looking after you, husband? And the kind of work that goes into raising children? And I was struck, I said to my wife, as I read through these verses and studied them, what I couldn't help but see is how many of them relate to clothing and cooking. Clothing and cooking, repeated emphasis in these verses. There's a lot to running a home, there's a lot to looking after little ones. Just keeping children clothed, and the husband too, and fed is a huge job, is it not? I mean I get a sense of that, I have a day at home with the family and just the amount of work that goes into feeding, constant preparation and thinking about things. So let's look at what this virtuous woman does and she's a woman of character, she's a woman of great strength and a woman of diligence and I want to just summarise her activities in five key areas this morning. Let's look at her activities and her service, excuse me, in five key areas. Firstly, the clothing of her household, and I touched on that, I jumped ahead there. The clothing of her household, look at verse 13. The Bible says, she seeketh wool and flax and worketh willingly with her hands. Drop down to verse 21 to 23. She is not afraid of the snow for her household, for all her household are clothed with scarlet. So let's look at that first area. We see her activity, we see the practice, we see the performance of a virtuous woman in this area of the clothing of her household. Firstly, the clothing of her children. You'll notice in verse 13 that we're taken to the heart and the hand of this woman. So we see the heart and the hand of a virtuous woman and there's a connection between those two concepts all the way through the passage. The reason why she serves the way she does with her hands is because of who she is in her heart. It's a connection there between the heart and the hand. In fact, there's a tremendous emphasis on this woman's hands in this passage. We have the word hands there in verse 13 and verse 16. We have reference to her arms in verse 17, hands verse 19, hand verse 20. So here we see a woman who is an instrument of blessing through her hands, all the mother's hands, all the things those hands do. all the things that they are involved with, the heart and the hands of the Christian woman there. So she is diligent in clothing her household, the clothing of her children. Verse 21 tells us that she's not afraid of the snow for her household. Why? For all her household are clothed with scarlet. And Scarlet is a reference to wool and to costly materials. So we see that the clothing that she provides for her household is of good quality. So we see her weaving and sewing. and providing these clothes. Now in our day-to-day most of the sewing is done in big factories for you and that's probably a blessing alleviates but this woman not only sews clothes she made the cloth for it as well and just constantly you know like the old-fashioned ladies in the olden days there with at the spinning wheel and and then turning that wool into clothes that are fitting for the family. But we can understand the principle here of the woman taking care of those needs. It's in her heart to care for the needs of her children and the needs of her household and to provide them good quality clothes that will meet the needs. She's not afraid of the cold weather here. because she knows that she has clothed her family well to be able to withstand that. Now that doesn't mean that a woman needs to get caught up today in all the fashion fads. Doesn't mean you have to clothe your children in Tommy Hilfinger, necessarily. It's okay if you do. It doesn't mean you necessarily have to pay all the money for the little Nike tick. That was, I don't know if that's still the rage now, but when I was a teenager, you know, the Nike tick and the amount of money that would be spent just to get that little tick. And Reebok, that was, you know, the Reebok shoes, they were a little bit lower class, you know, but Nike shoes, they were really in. No, no, no, you don't have to get caught up in all of that and that's not often affordable. And again, it's not a sin if you happen to have bought some of those for your children, but I'm just saying we see the heart of this woman here. She provides good quality coverings for her family. So there's the clothing of her children. Then there's the clothing of herself. We notice there is reference to how she arrays herself and how she clothes herself as well. Look at verse 22. In verse 22 it says, coverings of tapestry. Her clothing is silk and purple. So not only does this dear lady, this virtuous woman, take care of the clothing needs of her children and of her family, but she also is well-groomed herself. and wears beautiful clothes and is a good testimony there in the way that she carries herself. She makes beautiful coverings for the home, coverings of tapestry there. This could include things like carpets, coverlets, quilts. bed covers, these kinds of things. We have an interesting reference back in Proverbs 7 16 of the strange woman, this is, she's the opposite to the virtuous woman and she decks her bed with coverings of tapestry. So here we have an ungodly woman beautifying her bedroom and beautifying her bed for a sinful purpose but we have the virtuous woman who beautifies her bedroom and beautifies her home for a godly purpose to encourage the godly marriage union there and so on. So we have here this woman who provides these things. She also provides beautiful clothing for herself, not only beautiful coverings for the home but beautiful clothing for herself and what we're getting the sense of here is a woman who is a homemaker, a woman who is a helpmeet and a homemaker and that is her career and that is her great endeavour. So she's a woman of godly taste and a woman of godly culture. Her dress is dignified, tasteful, beautiful and befitting a godly woman. There's a need for that today, isn't there? We live in a day where womanhood has just gone down the drain and there's so little beauty anymore. with Christian womanhood, it just, either they look half like men or, you know, short hair and masculine kind of clothes, you know, but not this woman here, she's a virtuous woman, she's a godly woman and she's a woman of good taste and she wears beautiful clothes and she adorns herself well. And we need to see that there are two aspects to her adornment in this passage. One is outward, and that's seen there in verse 22, and the other is inward. Because look at verse 25, it says, strength and honour, they're inward qualities, aren't they, are her clothing. So it's not just about the external clothing, it's about the clothing of the heart. And when the clothing of the heart is right, then that affects the outward adorning as well. Now, some would say today that one's dress doesn't really matter, the heart is the most important thing. Well, it is true that the condition of the woman's heart is of utmost importance. But could I say this? If you have a modest heart as a woman, you want to have a modest exterior as a woman. If you are clothed with strength and honour, if you're a woman of honour, then you will not dishonour your own body and dishonour your testimony in the way you dress outwardly. Your inner character and your godliness will inform the way you dress. So it's that whole connection we see in the Bible between inward and outward modesty. Inward and outward modesty, the two go together. A heart of modesty, a heart of honour, heart of spiritual strength, then that reflects itself in the kind of clothing a Christian woman wears. Clearly, whatever this woman is wearing, it's beautiful and it's appropriate because she is a woman of God, she's a woman who fears God and a woman who honours God, she's a woman of honour and a woman of holiness. This is the type of adornment the Bible requires for a Christian lady. It doesn't condemn beautiful apparel but it requires that that apparel be consistent with the Christian profession a woman holds, very important. and there's often extremes. Sometimes people hear the word modesty and they think that means I have to dress in something that looks like a glorified curtain, you know, or a, you know, old Mother Hubbard whose dress has come out of an old dusty cupboard or, you know, some potato sack kind of thing and some Christian groups do interpret modesty wrongly in that way to where it's like the more ugly you look, the more modest you are. No, that's not what the Bible is talking about. God has created women to be creatures of beauty and God has given you those beautiful attributes, but as a woman you want to not misuse those, you want to adorn those beautiful attributes in such a way that will honour the Lord. And so how we see that this woman is a feminine woman, she's clothed in silk and purple, she's not a masculinized woman, she's not a butchy woman, she's a feminine, she's an appropriate and beautifully adorned woman. We're witnessing today a tremendous loss, aren't we? A feminine, ladylike and stately dress in the 21st century, even among Christian women. We have the blurring of the distinctions between the genders with the sodomite and the unisex agenda, the breaking down of distinction between men and women. And we have this problem where men are increasingly looking like women and women are increasingly looking like men. It goes both ways. Don't think that the pastor's just going to beat up on the ladies. I'm telling you, I have no time for feminine men. And if you're a man, God made you to be a man, you look like a man, you carry yourself like a man, you act like a man, you talk like a man. I'm not saying you need to be like a chest beating a gorilla and you have to be some sort of fool in that way. I'm just saying God has created you with certain masculine attributes and God does not want you to be a soft and effeminate man. Nor does he want you ladies to be a hard and masculine woman. Virtuous woman, a godly woman, she's adorned in silk and purple, she's adorned in beautiful feminine apparel. How we need a return to femininity today. Deuteronomy 22 5, the woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment for all that do so are abomination unto the Lord thy God. But the world's at war with that verse. Could I just throw this in there? Why is it such a strange thing today that people can actually think that a church like this is a cult because the ladies wear skirts and dresses to church? If you went back to my grandmother's era, didn't matter what church you walked into, ladies were generally beautifully dressed in long skirts, long dresses, hats, even hats, gloves. I'm not saying we have to do that here, I'm just saying we've lost so much in our culture, haven't we? The Hollywood culture and the pop culture and the rock and roll culture has all but obliterated the godly Christian heritage and culture we used to have. And could I just say, just to dispel any rumours that people might hear, it's not a requirement. We don't stop people at the door and say, you can't come in unless you've got a dress on. People have honestly said those kinds of rumours about Northside. Down there at Northside Baptist Church, if you don't come in with a skirt on as a lady, you'll be stopped at the door. That's complete rubbish. Our doors are open to anybody, unless you are completely and totally obscene, we'll welcome you and you can come and sit and hear God's word and come just about dressed any old way. But at the same time, could I say this? We make no apology as a church for encouraging an environment of godly modesty. We make no apology as a church for encouraging an environment where men look like men and women look like women. That's not legalism, that's Bible. That's the word of God and it flies in the face of the culture today, but could I just say as Christians, we should not be afraid to be a little counterculture. That doesn't mean you have to look like a Froot Loop or a freak or someone who's just walked out of a little house on the prairie, but you can look appropriate and you can look befitting as a Christian man and as a Christian woman. that's a great need today because we're living in a day of just sensuality where as Christian men we walk down the streets and our eyes are offended time and time again. If there's one place where a Christian man should be able to walk into and not have his mind abused it should be the church. And I don't get this whole thing with these worship band leaders today and you've got women on the stage dressed like hussies and that's supposed to be worshipping God. I've seen it. Nakedness in the house of God in the name of worship. So we see the clothing of herself. Be a beautiful lady in the right sense of the term. Be a woman of God and be feminine and don't be afraid to be a woman. Talk about all this stuff about women's rights. Embrace who you are as a woman. Don't let the world push you into some masculine mould. We notice the clothing of her husband. Now in verse 23 it's not specifically stated but it is in the context of clothing. It says her husband is known in the gates when he sitteth among the elders of the land. And so we see that the fact that she is a helpmate to this man contributes to his reputation in the right sense of the word. The gates in Bible times were places where business was transacted. It'd be like the town square or the town hall or the council chambers of today. Understand gates were not just like little gates like we have out there with a bit of wire on them. They were often made out of, you know, a big stone and they would have chambers as you come through the city gates. There would be chambers off to the side in these gates where the city officials would sit and conduct business, where decisions would be made. And there are at least two references in the passage here to the gates of the city. And so we see that his reputation and his leadership has been encouraged and helped by his godly wife. Maybe you've heard the saying before, behind every great man there's a great woman. And that's true. That's absolutely true. You see this dear lady, her home and her family is the centre of her activities and because of the type of woman she is, that contributes to his success in the gates as he goes out and conducts business. So there's the clothing of her household, then the feeding of her household and mums will identify with this, look over here in verse 14 and 15, she is like the merchant's ships. Our merchant ship's a Toyota Tarago and it does come floating back with all sorts of food and it's amazing, isn't it? Comes back loaded, it doesn't take long for it to disappear into hungry tummies, does it? And I heard of one Christian woman and she had, her son was, you know, like typical boys, you know, he was a big eater and she nicknamed him termite because of the amount of food he ate but The feeding of her household, she is like the merchant ship, she bringeth her food from afar. She riseth also while it is yet night and giveth meat to her household and a portion to her maidens. So we see her care of her household in relation to the preparation of food is in view in these verses. I don't like cooking as a woman, perhaps learn to like it. No, I'm serious, that's some advice that's not original with me, my mother says that, she says, these ladies that say they don't like cooking, she said, I say get over it and get used to it, because you're gonna be doing a lot of it. That doesn't mean a man can't help out in the kitchen occasionally, but you're the queen of the kitchen, amen? And I'm more than happy for my wife to be king and queen of the kitchen, as long as I get to eat what comes out of there, okay? I'm happy for her, I don't feel any need to exercise authority in the kitchen, that's her domain. So what a big job this is for a mother, it requires constant planning, doesn't it? Do you think about that as a mother? The week's coming up, what am I going to feed them for lunch? As a general rule, most women have to think ahead, I know my wife does. What are you writing there? I'm just writing out a meal planner for the week. Careful shopping and skilled cooking, it's a skill to be a good homemaker. Don't let the world, again, the world wants to put this characterisation on the Christian woman. you're this lowly, barefooted, pregnant housewife, you know? No, you're a woman of honour and it takes tremendous skill to run a good house. People don't realise what goes into running a successful home and food and clothing and all these, the many things that mothers do, it's a real skill. So one writer says here, And she's even willing to sacrifice sleep to prepare meals. Now, if you're not an early riser, don't be discouraged. Remember the context of this passage is the East. before the advent of electricity. In fact, I've seen this in real life in some countries. When I lived in Fiji, it was very common before dawn to hear in the neighbouring houses with the Indian women, they'd be up before daylight and pounding away at the spices and various things because their husbands started work very, very early in the cane fields. and you'd always see them. They'd stop for lunch and pull out their little roll with, you know, roti and curry. But the women would be up very early in the morning getting that all ready for the family before the day started. Whatever your day looks like, that may not be the way your day is structured, that's fine. The point is we see a woman who gives attention to this and gives time to it and is a good manager of her time and makes sure that meals are prepared for the family. Then we see, thirdly, the financing of her household. So we're looking at these five different areas. five different categories, the financing of her household, she's also wise when it comes to money matters. Verse 16 to 19, she considereth a field and buyeth it. It's not a sin to buy something as a woman, Amen? With the fruit of her hands she planted the vineyard. She girdeth her loins with strength and strengtheneth her arms. She layeth her hands to the spindle and her hands hold the distaff. Look over at verse 24, we have reference to merchandise. She maketh fine linen and selleth it. So we have her buying something in verse 16 and selling something in verse 24. And delivereth girdles unto the merchant. So she's a woman who invests. Within the context of her husband's oversight and leadership, she makes carefully thought out financial decisions. You notice it says she considereth the field. So this is not an impulsive buy. She considers it. She thinks about it. She no doubt discusses it with her husband and works through that decision. She sells as well. Now you'll notice with this woman that her primary focus is on the needs of her home and her household. But, because she's so good as a seamstress, she has surplus things left over that she can sell and she does that. So, what we have here is a woman who supplements her husband's income, not replaces it. She supplements that income from the home, it's a home-based kind of business. the virtuous woman does not usurp or replace her husband's role as the primary leader and provider for the home. Again, we make no apologies, we believe that the husband is to be the primary provider for the Christian home. Again, that's just not culturally acceptable but that's biblical. Now I understand that sometimes that there are ladies in very unique circumstances who can't, you know, they might have an invalid for a husband or they might have, you know, be estranged from their husband or there's all sorts of different maybe complex situations but this is again the ideal, this is the goal, this is what God presents as the model for the Christian home and should be aimed for and should be strived for. We notice that he's the one out in the gates of the city She helps and assists in his calling and supplements the family income from the home with her skill and creativity. So she provides an indirect contribution to the household's economy. And this is very different, I'm reading you my notes here, to the concept of the modern career woman who neglects her home for the workforce. The woman described in this passage directs the majority of her time and energies to her husband and household and uses the surplus of what she produces to help the family finances. The modern model reverses this. True? The bulk of the 21st century woman's energy and time goes to the workplace and her boss. By the way, you're supposed to be a helpmate to your husband, not a helpmate to some man who's not your husband. Is that all right? It's gone very quiet. The bulk of the 21st century woman's energy and time goes to the workplace and her boss and the husband and family come second. That's the wrong way around. Here we see this woman, there's the centre and the circumference of her ministry is very much home-based. She's a home-based home keeper. But what tremendous influence she exerts from that home base, not only in the blessing of her husband and children, but also in being a channel of blessing to others outside the home as well. So the home is headquarters for the Christian woman. It is. And that's the primary area that she is to focus on. And as a husband, you should support that. And you should be man enough to go and earn the majority of the income, or make steps to do that. And I understand sometimes Christian couples, they get used to two wages and it can sometimes take some time to transition to a more biblical model. You might've got yourself into certain debts and things you've got to take care of. But could I just say that the aim of every Christian family should be to transition to a biblical kind of model here where the husband is the primary provider, the woman is the helpmate and the homemaker. And yes, maybe as she has time, she might be able to find a creative way adding a little bit to the family finances here or there or managing the family finances in such a way so as to save money. That's all a biblical model there but we see that she is a helpmate and a homemaker not a business career wife. Your home is your career as a Christian woman. It's your career. We need women who have careers. Your career as a Christian woman is your home, your husband and your children. Now I understand, that sounds, people say, oh you know, that pastor down there, he's a misogynist and he's a dictator and all that. Listen, I'm just trying to present to you the biblical model. Let me give you the scripture, Titus 2.5, instruction to younger women from the older women is to be that they are to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home. It's not an opinion, it's biblical. Christian woman is to be a keeper at home. Good, obedient to their own husbands that the Word of God be not blasphemed. Listen to 1 Timothy 5 14, I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house. That literally means to be a house lord. Oh that sounds good doesn't it? Little L Lord, little L. I think it's made up of kurios, oikos. Oikos, house and lord. You're a queen in your home, you're to run your home, manage your home. So, Proverbs 31, people say, what about the Proverbs 31 woman? Wasn't she a working woman? Well, you notice she's a home-based woman. She's a helpmate and a homemaker first and foremost, but as she has spare energy and time, she contributes to the family finances in creative ways from the basis of the home there. And that's certainly not a problem. if a woman's able to do that and today Christian mums do things like this, they often nowadays, you know, sell things online or gumtree or different things and they're creative or run certain web-based sort of industries and that sort of thing and there are things that can be done like that but she hasn't replaced her husband as the primary provider for the home. Then notice also, fourthly, the ministering within her household. So verse 20 points us to this, it says, So this woman not only ministers to the needs of her household, her husband and her children, but she also is a channel of blessing to others outside the home. So the home is headquarters for the Christian woman's ministry. And can I just say this, when we do have families that will follow the biblical pattern, the biblical model where the husband's the leader and the provider and the wife is the helpmate and the homemaker, it creates a wonderful environment where the stay-at-home mum can be a huge blessing to many people. First and foremost to her husband and children, but it provides a basis for hospitality and for ministry to others. So it's interesting, the picture here, in verse 19 her hands close around the instruments of her weaving, in verse 20 her hands open and stretch out to the needs of those around her. The phrase there, stretcheth out the hand, means to spread out the palm. It speaks of a woman who has an open and a generous hand. sadly this ministry is often missing in the church of the 21st century as so many Christian ladies are just absorbed in the workplace rather than the home. But not this woman, this virtuous woman, she's able to minister and to be a blessing, a channel of blessing to so many through her home. So she has the ministry of helps, it's a big part of a woman's ministry, being a helper, help her to God's work. As a busy mum, you're going to be limited in how much you can do and this woman clearly, most of her energies goes to the husband and children in the home but as God enables and as God gives you time and ability, you can then flow out in blessing to others as God leads. There's the ministry of counsel as well, look at verse 26, she openeth her mouth with wisdom and in her tongue is the law of kindness. So she has a ministry of counsel, she's a wise woman, she knows God's word and she fears God and she's able to then share that wisdom with her children, share that wisdom with her husband, share that wisdom with others and be a blessing. So she has that teaching ministry to others in the right sense of the term. She's not taking a formal teaching position and God's word is very clear. that women are not to be preachers in the church. 1 Corinthians 14, 34, 1 Timothy 2, 11 to 15, very, very clear. And again, it's not a matter of equality, it's a matter of God's roles and the distinction there. So if you've got a woman preacher at your church, you need to leave and find a biblical one. Okay, she may be sincere and a lovely lady, but she's out of her role. The Bible is very, very clear that women are not to teach in the church in a formal sense to men. The Bible is absolutely clear on that. I know God called me as a woman. Well, you misheard. God did not call you to be a preacher in the church. That's the man's role, the Bible is absolutely crystal clear on that. However, could I just encourage you ladies, rather than focusing on that, could I tell you what you can do as far as teaching and counselling others? A Christian woman can counsel her husband. True. Being a wife doesn't mean that you're a doormat. It doesn't mean that you can't share a word of wisdom with your husband. needs it. I tell you what, men can be absolute, I don't know, we need our wives counsel and if you're a wise man you will listen to what your wife has to say. Now of course it needs to be done in the right spirit, in the right way and you have the final say as leader of the home but listen. So you know that's certainly biblical, I think Abigail's a good example of that. 1st Samuel 25, I was almost going to preach on her this week but the Lord had other plans. Here we see a woman who goes and counsels David, now he wasn't her husband at that point but he was to be her husband very shortly thereafter and she was able by her wise counsel to stop David from using the sword in the wrong way. Do you know your wife can save you making some really stupid mistakes as a husband? Okay honey, before you, it's getting late at night, maybe you should think a bit more about that email before you send it. Sweetheart, okay, and just wise counsel, praise God for that. You can stop your husband sometimes in the right spirit from making foolish mistakes. So a man would be wise to listen to her husband, to her, his wife, sorry. Excuse me, I'm glad I'm married to a woman, not a man, amen. I've got enough trouble dealing with my own manhood. Alright, she can instruct her children. we just need more teaching ministry for women in the church. There's a lot of teaching and counselling and wisdom sharing that you can do as a woman, you can counsel your husband. Of course you are to instruct your children and raise them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, Proverbs 22.6, you're to train them in the way that they are to go and boy do your children need some sermons. Isn't it a constant job as a woman trying to curb the tendencies towards the sin nature in children? the constant repetition, the lessons repeated over and over and over again. Why? Because foolishness is bound in the heart of the child and only the rod of correction will drive it far from him. That was so foolish! Why on earth would my little darling do that? Because foolishness is bound in there. the Board of Education applied to the seat of learning will help deal with that and get it out. Thankful for a mother that knew how to do that in my life. A Christian woman can teach other ladies, Titus 2. That's probably about as formal as it gets, I think it's formal and informal but I think certainly within the local church context we can have women teach women, that's why we have ladies meetings. once a month to allow that Titus 2 teaching ministry to take place where mature ladies in the church can help encourage others and teach and be a blessing, share. As a Christian woman you can also help impart wisdom to and counsel immature believers. Young believers, I think Aquila and Priscilla are a good example of this, they're an example of a husband and wife team who helped Apollos to understand the way of God more perfectly, Acts 18 26. Nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with a husband and a wife sharing wisdom, maybe over the kitchen table, or in the right context, sharing wisdom with a young believer or someone who needs to be instructed. And again, within the right context, in the right manner, in the right spirit, but of course, a Christian woman can share wisdom. So we see this woman opens her mouth with wisdom. What's Proverbs all about? Wisdom. She has wisdom in her heart and therefore she shares wisdom through her mouth. Because in the Bible, words of wisdom from the tongue are an expression of what is in the heart. Ministry of Council. Also kindness, look at the verse again there, verse 26, she opened her mouth with wisdom and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She's a kind lady. Boy, isn't this a contrast to the catty and the conniving? You know as a woman you have tremendous potential with your tongue for good or evil. If you're a woman, you're a natural when it comes to talking and you have a need to talk a lot more than us men. It's proven, it's just a fact. But we see this woman here, she's not using her tongue, she's not using her mouth to spew forth the latest gossip and to slander and to slash and to backbite other people. She's not going around the church and complaining about another Christian sister or a Christian brother. She's not going around and using her tongue to knife people in the back. That's not the kind of virtuous woman, the kind of thing that a virtuous woman gets involved with. No, a virtuous woman is a character woman when it comes to her tongue. she uses her tongue to impart wisdom and she uses her tongue to encourage and her tongue is governed by the law of kindness. You can be firm as a Christian woman but you can also be kind and you can have a sweet spirit behind that. You're going to need to be direct with your children at times but you can still have a kind heart behind it and a heart that desires the best for that child. See, what a contrast to using the tongue to slander, backbite and to wound others. No, her tongue is governed by the law of kindness. You can be a great encourager as a woman. I think God has given women a certain tenderness and grace that can be a great encouragement to the suffering, to the needy and God can use you as a woman to be a blessing in that way. Okay, fifth area, we're moving along here, the watching of her household, verse 27. We see her practice, we see the way she lives, the way she serves in these different areas. She looketh well to the ways of her household and eateth not the bread of idleness. Now, the phrase here, looketh well, refers not only to looking attentively at something, but also has the idea of peering into the future. So she's a woman with some foresight, She's a woman who is concerned not just about the physical needs of her family, though they are important like clothing and food, she's also concerned about the ways of her household. that goes beyond the physical and the material. She's concerned about the ways of her household, how her husband and how her family are living, she's concerned about the development of godly character, she's concerned about their spiritual well-being, she wants to see that the ways of her household are in line with the ways of God. She looketh well. This woman's a wise shepherdess. She watches over her family. This speaks of a woman who is alert to spiritual dangers. She's alert to spiritual threats to her marriage. She's alert to spiritual dangers that could creep into the home. She's alert to spiritual dangers that could come through the smartphone. She's alert to the spiritual dangers that can come through the internet. She's alert to the spiritual dangers of the Facebook internet world. She's alert to the spiritual dangers of social media. She's a woman who is very observant and very careful. She's a woman of foresight and she wants to protect and watch over her family. Boy, we need mothers like that today. We need some mothers who will be godly watchers of their families and watch over those little ones, not just for their physical safety, not just to make sure that their physical needs are met, but we need some mothers today who have some concern for the spiritual wellbeing and the spiritual protection of their home and family. Could I say, if you as a mother place a smartphone in the hand of your young boy or teenager, could I just say with all the love I can muster, you are a foolish woman. Do you have any idea the potential dangers you're placing in his hand? And by the way, let's get this out of our minds, Christian mothers, that our daughters are exempt from internet dangers. That's another fallacy I've seen some Christian women buy into, where, oh yeah, the boys, they struggle with their eyes, but my girls are okay. Did you know that research has found recently that the ones that have been most affected and damaged by social media are teenage girls? it's been fruit, the fruit is there with skyrocketing self-harm and suicide because your daughters can't compete in an Instagram world and that Instagram world is a false world and a fake world, nobody looks hot all the time. I've just been very real with you, is that true? Let's be real, that airbrushed world where people post up all the time the best of their pictures, that's not the full picture. Now I understand technology is not going to go away but you need to make sure as a Christian mother that you have things in place to protect your children with the use of those devices and there's all sorts of things today like covenant eyes and other filtering systems and reporting systems where you as a mother can be watchful and stay on top of what your children are into. And if you don't have something like that on your children's devices, then get something on there and start monitoring, start looking well, start being observant, start watching over your home because sometimes, unbeknownst to you, the devil is destroying your son or daughter in the quietness of their bedroom while you're asleep at night. I have seen it. And they show up in the counseling office of the pastor, 10 years later, a total addict to internet pornography. And it started in your home because you were careless about the internet connection and you wouldn't pay a little bit extra for some protection on it. You can't put a price on your children's purity. And if you're not prepared to pay some sort of monthly subscription to make sure that their devices are guarded, then there's something wrong with you. asking one Christian lady, her 15 year old girl got her first smartphone, I said, oh so, do you know what she's looking at on there, do you have any idea what she's into, what she's doing? She said, oh no, no, I really don't, I don't deal with any of that, I've got no idea, you know, my husband deals with that. Hopefully Mr Gogolize is on the ball because you should know about it as a Christian woman, I told you there'd be some challenges along the way this morning. Just think about it. I'm not trying to discourage anybody, but think about it. You must understand that that device today is one of the most powerful pieces of technology the world's ever seen. It's not a telephone, it's a computer. A highly powered computer. And sure, it's got its good use. You can access a lot of good information on there. But within a couple of taps, your child can be into the deepest depths of depravity. No way I'm giving any of my kids a smartphone until they're old enough to handle it. If I'm loaning them mine for something, I'm going to be very careful, make sure that I know what they're doing on there. I don't let them browse on there anyway, but might be watching something or whatever, but I'm watchful, careful. It's absolutely staggering today what's going on and where are the Christian mums with their heads? What's the go today with Christian mums even letting their kids sit on a smartphone in church? How are they going to hear God's Word and how are they going to get anything in their hearts and minds if you put a smartphone in their hand to entertain them during the service? I've seen it! It's just crazy what goes on. And you see some homes that just get torn to pieces by the devil while the mother just giggles her life away on social media. Proverbs 14.1 says, Every wise woman buildeth her house, but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands. Be a builder of your home as a Christian woman, not a tearer down of your home. I don't know if that's good English or not, but don't tear your home down, build it up. Okay, let's move on now to thirdly, the praise of a virtuous woman. The praise of a virtuous woman. You'll notice the key word is praise in these verses, verse 28 to 31. Her children arise up and call her blessed, her husband also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. Favor is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be what? Praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands and let her own works what? Praise her in the gates. The praise of a virtuous woman. She's praised firstly by her family, verse 28 and 29. She's praised by her family, her children. As they rise up, as they grow, they call her blessed. Children arise up and call her blessed. This is one of the great rewards of motherhood, is when children begin to appreciate and understand the value of their mother. Now don't be surprised if while they're young, they don't really get this too much. I make a joke with my wife, I say, with our youngest, we exist for the fulfilment of his desires. True, I mean, yeah, I mean, he's not concerned about thanking us for anything, just hand, just give me, oh, we're teaching him. We are teaching him to say thank you, but you have to remind him, don't you? You don't have to teach your children to say no, do you? That comes very naturally. But to teach them to say yes, Dad, that's a bit harder. Yes, Mum. To get them to say please and thank you. Me, me, is one of the first words. Me, me, me, he says. Yep, that's theodemic nature speaking. Not hard to say me. But it's interesting here, the picture, it says her children rise up. It could be the picture there that as they grow up and their appreciation and they mature, they begin to appreciate more and more the value of a godly mother. And I think that's true, I know at least in my case, I didn't really understand what a blessing I had in my home until I got older. And you see the breakage and the heartache and the carnage in so many homes. And you think, to be raised in a home with a Christian mum and Christian dad, were they perfect? No. But they loved God. They loved each other. And they raised us as best they could in the word of God. That is a blessing that you cannot put a price on. And I don't say that to discourage you if you didn't have that kind of upbringing. By God's grace you can give that to your own children and give them something different to the chaos that you had. So there's a word for children. Have you thanked your mum lately for what she's done for you? Expressed any love to her? Good day to do it on Mother's Day isn't it? I'm just not real good at all that emotional stuff, well just give it a try and say thank you mum for being a good mum. Her husband praises her, see that? Her children arise up and call her blessed, her husband also and he praiseth her. Did you know that there's not just a Proverbs 31 woman, there's a Proverbs 31 man and there's a whole lesson there for men He's a man of leadership. He's out in the gates. And he's also a man who values and appreciates his wife. Some husbands are hopeless when it comes to this. They never say or virtually never say a kind word to their wives. Virtually never thank their wives for what they do. this man here, he understands her value, he praises her in the right sense of the word, he lavishes praise upon her, he's thankful for all that she does. So husbands, learn to thank your wife and to appreciate her and to value her for all that she does in the home. So what kind of things should I say? Well, I think verse 29 gives us the content of what he actually says. I believe that's the quotation of the husband because it changes... you notice that all the way through the passage it's referring to her Okay, she, her, she, her, here it takes on direct address. It says here that many daughters have done virtually, but thou, okay, excellest them all. So as opposed to he, her, she, thou. So it seems to me that this is his words to her. This is how the husband praises her. Many daughters have done virtually, but thou excellest them all. That's the attitude of a good Christian husband. He recognizes that there are other women Godly women who are virtuous, but he sees his wife as being superior to all of them. To him, she is the best woman in the world and his one and only love. In his eyes, she is above all others. That should be your attitude, shouldn't it? That your wife's the best one. That there are other godly ladies that you can appreciate as sisters in Christ. But many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. So she's praised by her family, she's praised by her God, verse 30, favour is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman... wow, we've gone an hour and ten, better stop... but a woman that fears the Lord, she shall be praised. I'll give you your money's worth on Mother's Day, okay? This verse here brings us to the secret behind all the qualities of the virtuous woman described in this passage. She's a woman who knows and fears God and this is the heart behind all she is and does. We notice the verse here speaks of the temporal character of natural beauty, it's not saying that natural beauty is sinful or wrong of itself, it just simply says it's vain, meaning that it's fleeting, it's passing, it's transitory. This verse is the secret behind this woman's life. She knows God, she fears God, she loves God, she lives for God and that is why she does all those things. That's why she has that kind of relationship towards her husband. That's why she takes care of the needs of her children. That's why she has a heart to flow out to the poor and needy. That's why she does all that she does. Why? Because she knows God and loves God. So she's praised by her God and then she's praised by her works, verse 31. As I mentioned, the gates in ancient times referred to the place of ruling and judging and here her acts of service are a testimony to her life of devotion to God. While a virtuous woman may not get much praise from the world, she will be praised by those who know and love her. And ultimately, she will be rewarded at the judgment seat of Christ for her faithfulness and godliness. Don't be surprised if you don't get a lot of praise from the world as a Christian woman. But if you have a husband who knows your value, he'll praise you. If you have children who appreciate your value, they'll praise you. And ultimately, you have the praise of God upon your life for all that you do. as a Christian woman. I don't usually read poems, I'm not a big poem person, but I did read this poem about motherhood that I thought was really lovely. It says, "'Tis woman's to nourish affection's tree, and its fruit domestic bliss shall be. "'Tis hers to cultivate with patient toil each heaven-born plant in the heart's deep soil. And fruits and flowers her toil shall greet, richest flavours and odours on earth that meet. I like what it says here. Tis woman's to fashion the infant mind, to kindle its thoughts and its hopes unbind, to guide its young mind in the earliest flight and lure it to worlds of unsullied light, to teach him to sing in his gladsome hours of a saviour's love with an angel's powers. Tis woman's to bind up the broken heart, And soften the bleeding spirit smart, With the balm that in Gilead's garden grows, With the stream that from Calvary's fountain flows. and to light in this world of pain and sin the lamp of love and joy again. What a precious gift you are as a virtuous woman. Pursue it. Be all that God wants you to be as a Christian mother and wife and God will bless you richly. Lord, we thank you for this morning and for your word and for these high ideals that are placed upon Christian womanhood. Bless each woman here Lord, may their hearts be inspired and encouraged to be this kind of woman in the home, with the husband and the children, Lord, and ministering to others as well. We thank you again for Christian wives, mothers, Christian ladies. We pray that you would encourage and bless each one this day. In Jesus' name, Amen.