This is an amazing text, an amazing text. Misapplied, misunderstood, misused, abused, unheeded, not followed and not obeyed. All kinds of things we could say about this text. I have a question for you before we read the text. Should God change? Should he stop being God? Should he stop ruling the universe? Should he stop governing in the affairs of men? Should he let this whole thing go? How in the world did things get like they are in this world? I mean, did God have a conference and call a focus group together and figure out what He was going to do with it? Where did all of this order come from? I mean, husbands and wives and authority, and where'd all this stuff come from? How did it get here? Who decided this? Do we have some guys decide to write scripture and set up a social order and a social contract? How did it get here? And what is it that determines how we relate to one another, male, female, in the church and in marriage and so on? How does it all fit together? Well, let's take a look at the text and walk through here and let's see how this works, okay? Eyes on the text, please. I give you this because I want you to see what God says. This is what God says about it. This is not what Pastor Ennis says about it, this is what God says about it. And we ought to know, first of all, that God says this, and we ought to know what He says. And so let's take a look at the text. Be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess or dissipation, but be filled with what? Be filled with? The Spirit, all right. Now, what Spirit are we to be filled with here? Which Spirit is this? Is this any Spirit that comes along? Angelic Spirit? Who is this Spirit with which we are to be filled? All right, Holy Spirit of God. Am I right on that? In the text, in the context, be filled with the Holy Spirit of God. Okay? So, when we are filled with the Holy Spirit of God, oh, I've got a question here, okay? My, my, my, my, my. How does God come into our life? And what is our life like without God? And even as a believer, without the filling of the Holy Spirit of God, can our life be like God? That's an important question. How do we live a God-like life, or a Christ-like life? How does God impart His life to us? It's by His indwelling, by the ministry of the Holy Spirit within us. Christ lives in us in the person of the Holy Spirit of God. Okay? So we're going to talk about wives submitting to their husbands. We're going to talk about husbands not bossing their wives, husbands loving their wives. We're going to talk about, we've talked about mutual submission in the church, the true nature of love, and how love operates. What happens when love is present? Always, I'm getting ahead of myself, but let me do it here now. Love does two things. Tell me quickly before we read the text. It gives and it serves. And if love, if genuine biblical love is present, the outward manifestation of love is ministry. Not getting, but giving. Is that right? See, we get upset because we don't get what we want. Is that correct? Is that incorrect? We get upset because we don't get what we want? Now, help me, come on, this is Baptist confession time. We get upset because we don't get what we think we deserve or what we want? Yes or no? Come on, now help me. All right, but ministry doesn't focus on getting, it focuses on giving. Where do the big problems in marriage come? When she doesn't get, or he doesn't get, or the children don't get, or the parents don't get, or as a church member, I don't get. Out of where? We're talking about submission. Where does submission come from? Submission comes from being a servant, because then you submit to the desires and needs of others. Is that correct? Is that right, or is that wrong? Come on, help me! Okay? All right? So, we're talking about what God is like. Does God serve His people? Oh, look at Jesus Christ. He's God's servant. He's the chief servant in the universe. Is that a yes or no? You know, it took me a long time to figure this out, but I used to want the filling of the Holy Spirit of God so that I would have power. But you know, God is not only infinitely powerful, God is infinitely gentle. Is that true? Say? So I would assume a Spirit-filled Christian will be a servant like God. He will serve people that don't deserve it? People that are bent out of shape? People that refuse good things? See, what's God like? Most people conceive of God as an angry dictator who is gonna judge him and wants to throw a lot of people in hell. But that's not God. God is the chief servant. But God is a God of order. And God can only serve us if we'll allow him to do what he knows he needs to do. If we give him authority in our lives, yes? And so God sets up a chain of command and authority through his whole universe. There are ranks and orders of angels. There are ranks and orders of human beings. There are kings, governors. There are people whom God has set in authority and order to maintain order so that he might bless. God cannot bless us in a state of disorder. Okay? So when we talk about being filled with the Holy Spirit, don't be drunk with wine. Be filled with the Holy Spirit of God means be filled with God. And the more we're filled with the Holy Spirit of God, the more God-like we become. Can you see that? How does God-likeness come into my life? It comes into my life through the filling of the Holy Spirit of God. And I'm like God when I'm filled with the Holy Spirit of God, and I'm totally unlike Him when I'm not. Yeah? Okay. So he starts out here with the filling of the Holy Spirit as the key to this whole thing. All relationships have been established in creation out of a likeness to the character of God. That's where all of this stuff started. It didn't start with a social construct. It started with the nature and the character of God himself, who is the chief servant. Can you see this? It helps a whole lot when he says, wives, submit to your husbands. It helps a whole lot to know that even God, even God is considerate of the wishes and desires of others. And without God's authority in human relationships, without the way God does things, if we don't do things the way God does them, we're in a mess. Okay? So this is not God imposing something on us to make us miserable and make us slaves. Voluntary submission and slavery in service to others that comes out of love. Ministry, ministry that sacrifices self is the greatest freedom that anybody can enjoy in life. Did you get that? Ministry that sacrifices self brings us into the greatest freedom that we can enjoy as a human being in life. The greatest slavery in life is the slavery to our own feelings and the ugly nature within. That is the greatest slavery. So, serving others is not slavery if we choose to do it. And this whole passage is dealing with what we are choosing to do. The wives are told to submit to the husbands, but the husbands are not told to bring their wives under control. And the word is not obey. It doesn't say wives obey your husbands. It says wives of your own will choose to live under the authority of your husbands. That's what he's telling you to do. That's the wisdom of God for you. That's not slavery, because if you choose to be a servant in the place that God places you, That's your ultimate freedom. And Paul talks about that in Timothy. The woman shall be saved in childbearing. Her liberty comes in the power of her influence over the next generation to come, not over her power in the business world. So the woman's greatest freedom comes when she submits to the terms of God's order, and her greatest power comes out of that. Both are true, and historically that is very, very true. So, if you will, let's look at verse 18 again, and we'll make our way down through. Is this helpful to you? We need to know this and understand this, because this is absolutely upside down from the culture in which we live. absolutely, totally upside down. But they've got it wrong, and the reason we know it's wrong, because the only way they get any peace and joy is at the bar and on drugs, and escaping reality through the Internet and things of that nature. And it's tearing the whole thing up. Children don't have moms and dads they know anything about. The whole order is just There's no moral construct left, because we've abandoned God's ways. All right? So, there should be great joy. Be not drunk with wine wherein is excess, but be filled with the Spirit. And then we talked about this mutual submission, speaking, ministering to yourselves, psalms, hymns, spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord, giving thanks always for all things unto God the Father in the name of the Lord Jesus. And then you have the idea here, submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. And we talked about that in the message last Sunday. Now, if you'll notice, in verse 22, wives, submit yourselves. Now, submit should be in italics there, because in verse 22 in the Greek text, the word submit is missing. So, we have to go back to verse 21, submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. New American Standard says, be subject to one another in the fear of Christ. But the word submit is not in verse 22 in the Greek text. It says, women, to your own husbands, those who belong to you, your husbands, as unto the Lord. So the wives, you're just to apply, verse 21, in your lives. And then the husbands, in loving their wives, are to apply the same thing. So the whole theme starts with verse number 21. He applies it to the wives in verse 22. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord. The husband is the head of the wife. Now, what in the world does that mean? All right, if I cut off your head, what will happen to you? Will your arm know what to do? Now, the nearest thing to violating this order I saw when I was a boy, it was something I just, my eyes just must have popped out of my head. I lived on a farm, and what we did was when the chickens got old enough to make roasting heads out of them, we cut the heads off. We had a chopping block and an axe, and kaboom, and it was done. That was all over, no pain, no gain without the pain, no chicken without that. Some people used to wring the neck. Well, we would take a hatchet and chop, and that was it. But they chopped the head off of a chicken, and the chicken was flapping around. It flew over the picket fence and started off on the other side. I said to myself, what in the world, a headless chicken doing that? Totally violating nature. But what does your head do? It directs and controls the potty. And the husband is given to direct and control the wife. Now, that's not his business to control the wife. It's her position to be in submission to the husband. It's the husband's business to be sure. His whole relationship to her is ministry because it's love. And if his relationship to her is not bossing around and throwing around and asserting authority, but just ministering to her, this thing will work. Okay? Okay, what does the text say? It doesn't say, husbands boss your wives. It says, love your wives. Minister! Sacrifice! Give deference! Love gives deference and submission. So, the wives are to submit unto their own husbands as unto whom? As unto the Lord, is that right? The husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church. It's the same relationship. He is the savior of the body. Wow. What is the husband to the wife? He rescues his wife. He takes care of his wife. He protects his wife. He helps his wife. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives. And you are to love your wives like Jesus Christ loved the church. And he loved the church so much that he died for the church. He put the church's interests above his own. We're going to find that out in the text. right? "...that he might sanctify his spiritual ministry, sanctify it, cleanse it with washing of water by the Word, present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives like they love their own bodies." And I don't know about the ladies, but I know about men, and I know that men love their bodies. Men? Men like to keep in shape. Men like to be strong. Men like to, ladies, you'll have to speak for yourselves, but the men, the men are to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loves himself. No man, and by the way, that is so true. The man that doesn't love his wife does not love himself. He is begetting himself nothing but misery and trouble. Amazing the wisdom in this no man ever yet. He did his own flesh. That's his own body He nourishes and cherishes it any of you men take vitamins Nobody here take vitamins supplements Try to take care of your bodies nourish it make it strong. That's what you do to your wife give her vitamins spiritual vitamins Make her strong, even as the Lord the church. We're members of his body, of his flesh, of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father, and mother shall be joined unto his life. They too shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless, let every one of you particular so love his wife, even as himself and the wife see, as she reverence her husband. So page two, we've been through this, but notice there's a spirit-filled walk, Notice the paraphrase, we're on page two, paraphrase for 521, be placing yourselves under the authority of one another out of reverence for Christ. You know, we would not be saved today if Jesus Christ did not sacrifice all of his own feelings and position and benefits and blessings and left them all for us, yes or no? Right? So, in reverence for Christ, placing this mutual submission, being subject to, and we went through this last week. We went to the origins of these relationships in Genesis. Now we're on page number three. Page number three. We are finally at Christ, the Church in Christ, and the wife and the husband. And both of these are designed out of the heart and the mind of God, and they reflect the character of God. The submission of the wife is to be just like you relate to Jesus Christ. Just like you relate to Him. Submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto whom? Unto the Lord. Now, your submission to you, you are not submitted to Christ if you are not submitted to your husband. That's the way it works. The two go hand in glove. husbands you do not love Christ if you do not love your wife you have no ministry to Christ if you have not ministry to your husbands does that make sense you're strangely quiet so just like you relate to the Lord and let me ask you a question I gave my life to the Lord years ago and I don't want it back I told the Lord it didn't matter where it took me or what it cost. I told the Lord my life was His, and I told Him I wanted to love Him and serve Him with all my life. I have no regrets. I have only joy and praise and thanksgiving." That's what comes out of a biblical service to Christ. You cannot serve Christ without serving your spouse. You cannot serve Christ without serving your spouse. You cannot do it. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as just like. And so the note under verse 22, the wives are to apply the above commanded submission, which is present passive, which means it's voluntary. Now there's a Greek word for obey that's not here. This is something you do because you choose it. You make this what you want God to bless in your life what you want to do. So wives are to apply the above commanded submission, which is a present passive, which means it's voluntary. You do it. Your husband doesn't make you do this. You do it because you believe that you're going to serve Christ in this way. And by the way, every relationship in life should be serving the will of God. husband, wife, at your workplace, at school. Every relationship in life should reflect what God wants in your life, the ministry God's given you. Yes or no? Yes or no? Yes, indeed. This is consistent. So the wives apply this command and submission specifically to themselves, and this is a special relationship with their own husbands, and the Greek is specific, your own individual personal husband, okay? Their submission to their husbands is to be just like that of their own personal submission to the Lord. Did I read that verse right, ladies? Did I read it right? Did I get it right? Okay? That's the way it is supposed to be. Now, this is totally contrary to what our culture is teaching. Our culture teaches that this is slavery, and that you're gonna ruin your life, and that you're gonna lose everything, and that you're a fool and stupid, and you're never gonna get anywhere if you live like this. You never hear from the other side. It's bombarded on television. I get so tired of these talking points. That's the way you avoid the truth. But the people I know that love Christ and love their husbands and submit to their husbands, the ladies I know, are joyful ladies. And especially if their lady loves, their husband loves them, like Christ loves the church and ministers to them. If that happens, she submits to him and he makes sure that her best interests come first. You're not going to see pots and pans flying out the back door. And we're going to put half the psychiatrists in town out of business. Now, be not drunk with wine wherein is excess, but be filled with the Holy Spirit. So, ladies, you can't do this without the Holy Spirit. Any more than you can submit to Christ without the Holy Spirit. Yes or no? This is not something that the flesh does. It's something the Holy Spirit does. Okay? So, you've got to keep that in mind. You don't decide, I'm going to submit to Him. You can't do that. God needs to give you wisdom in that submission, and God needs to give you the strength and the power, and you're going to have to trust that God is going to use your husband's judgment as a discipline in your own personal life. Do I dare say that? Can I come back next Sunday? Okay. All right. Now the reason is given, toward the end of the page there, with that red there, because, the reason is because, the husband is the head of the wife, just like Christ is the head of the church. The next verse. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, he is the Savior of the body. Wow. That's the reason for this whole thing. The whole thing, the whole thing is set up in the heart and mind and order of God. We're gonna come to this. When I get to the husband, we'll get to this. But it's very amazing. One of the most amazing statements in the New Testament is in the Gospels, where Jesus says, the son does nothing unless he sees the father doing it. You talk about submission, huh? The son does nothing unless he sees the father doing it. And that cost him dearly. That cost him to tolerate things. That cost him to be betrayed. That cost him dearly. Question, was it worth it? Was it worth it? Okay. We need to think this thing through. Because the husband is the head of the wife, just like Christ is the head of the church. Again, this is not a social construct that twelve apostles got together and had a council and decided this is the way it would be. Nor did Moses have a confab at Mount Sinai and get together with all the leaders of Israel and decide this is the way it's going to be. That's not the way it happened. This came out of the character of God himself, out of the Trinity. There's an order in the Trinity. So on page number four, let's go to page number four. This is not a position the husband assumes. It is his relationship to his wife by created order. This arrangement has already been put in place by God Himself. You don't need to underline that sentence. This arrangement has already been put in place by God Himself and is grounded in divine wisdom displayed in His creation. This is out of His created order. This is the way He determined that it should be. This does not make the wife inferior to the husband. It makes her different in the created order than her husband, but not inferior to her husband. Now, the headship of Christ over the church should never be in dispute. All right? How many of you disagree with that? Take a look at that. The headship of Christ over the church should never be in dispute. Yes or no? Is that good? Is that a good statement? Christ is both its head and Savior. This functioning relationship creates an awesome responsibility for the husband, and we're gonna go on to that. So, if the headship of Christ over the church should never be in dispute, the headship of the husband over the wife should never be in dispute. They're connected in the heart and mind of God. Paul said, this is a great mystery. I am speaking concerning Christ and the church. So this should never be in dispute in the mind of the believer. It should never be in dispute. So somebody said, when you see the word, therefore, you need to find out what it's there for. Well, we've already seen why it's there. So this is the conclusion in verse 24. Therefore, what's the next word? Therefore, What does that mean? That means, just like, the same as. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands when they agree. In just important matters, And by the way, the authority of the husbands should not be in how much—well, I will go there. I've seen husbands that nitpick and try to run everything their wife does. God bless the dear wife and deliver her. That's not what husbands are called to do. They're called to minister to their wives in a spiritual way and make sure their wives succeed and make sure their wives have everything they need to get the job done. The paragraph under that, let's take a look at that. The wife here is commanded to be subject to her husband in everything, just like the church is to be subject to Christ in everything. Notice again, this is a willing and chosen submission. All right? If it's not, it's slavery. If it's willing and chosen, it becomes freedom. You don't have to be responsible for everything in your home anymore. By the way, blessed is the man who is wise enough to know where his wife knows better than he does. This is not a matter of intellectual acumen. This is a willing and chosen submission, not out of necessity, but out of love for both God and her husband. If you love God, you'll submit to your husband. It's just that simple. Stuart Custer says in his commentary, the infinite love of Christ for his church is a staggering example for the husband to follow, and I agree with that. There isn't any man alive Any more than every woman here can say, you know, I'll be able to submit to my husband and everything. You can't say that, not without the help of God and the Holy Spirit of God. And if there's no husband can say that I will love my wife like I should without the filling of the Holy Spirit, you can't do it. These are both impossible situations without divine help and the filling of the Holy Spirit of God. Neither one of them can be done. Let's read on. Matthew Henry notes that in a lesser manner the husband should be employed for the protection and comfort of his spouse. All right. So we will get to the men, ladies. I hope that you don't leave here saying, oh me, today. I really hope you don't do that. I hope that you take the challenge of God's Word and say, now look, I want to mature in my love for you and in my submission to you. Because ultimately, the submission of the wife to the husband becomes a submission of the wife to Christ. That's ultimately where the issue is. And the husband loving the wife, the bottom line is his love for Christ. And as our love for Christ and submission to Him is deficient, so our relationships become deficient. Can you see that? On both ends of this thing. So God is the one that made us, and God is the one who knows how this thing should operate and should work. I have every intention in my heart that this should be helpful and useful. This should give you some insight that will enable you Have a better marriage, better relationship, and as you anticipate getting married, I see a row of girls here. Where are the guys? They're all gone today. I see a row of girls here. Girls, look at me for just a minute. Never, but never, but never start going out with a guy that you do not respect enough to submit to him. Don't ever go out with a guy like that. Don't go out with a selfish guy that just wants what he can get from you. Don't ever do that. That's a horrible mistake. Stay single the rest of your life before you marry a guy like that. We got one gentleman over here. We got one fellow here. Sorry, Ronan. My apologies to you. Sitting right next to your sister there. Did you know that you can't submit to somebody whom you don't respect? Guys don't marry a woman who doesn't love God as much as you do. You're gonna be in trouble if you do. Gonna be in trouble if you do. So make sure that somebody knows God, loves God, submitted to Christ, and that the goal of their life is to do the will of God. That's what makes marriage wonderful. when you can do the will of God together. And again, let me say, there are a lot of people in our city and in our congregation that are not married. Let me remind you again that Paul says, stay single and serve God with all your heart. That's what he says to do. If you can live alone, devote your life to Christ. You have more time, you have more energy to give to Him. Paul says that. I'm not just trying to make you feel good. Paul says that. And so may the Lord bless you and give you a heart to take the energies and time that you have in your life and honor God with them, amen? So there's a place for all of us in this, but this particular passage is not talking about the unmarried, it's talking about the married. So everything comes out of God, goes back into God if it's done right. and it's to His glory when we allow the principles of His Word to govern our relationships one with another. Let's stand together, shall we?