For those of you joining with us, we typically preach through books of the Bible. We finished the book of Philippians not too long ago. We'll be starting, Lord willing, the book of Colossians coming up here soon. We'll also be memorizing the book of Colossians together. So all of our fighter verses as we go through the book of Colossians will be just that. So, Lord willing, when we finish preaching it, you will have memorized it as well, which should help in your meditation. Taking time in between books right now to just deal with a few things we need to work through as a church, and one of those is prioritizing our lives around the Word of God. All of us as Christians would affirm that we need to be prioritizing our lives based on the Bible, but we have to ask the question, what does that mean and what does that look like? So what we're attempting to do is look through Scripture and derive from Scripture how our lives should be prioritized that we might bring glory to God. This is the concentric circles here. There are five concentric circles as we've looked through scripture, we've studied things like. Eldership qualifications and stewardship texts, and we've come down to that at the center of concentric circles are prioritizing your life should be your own soul. And we spent two weeks going through the need to guard your heart and to nurture your heart through the Word of God and through prayer. That is through reading, meditating, memorizing Scripture. That is through prayer, which is private prayer in the door. Matthew chapter six in their closet, the door closed and then continual prayer without ceasing. First Thessalonians. And so those are necessary. And the reason why is if my heart is not right, I'm not seeing Jesus Christ or the gospel right. And so if I'm not saturated in the word of God and prioritizing my life around the word of God, I'm not being a good steward with my own soul, then I am not ready to go outside of that and begin to pour into other people. Not that I'm not commanded to, but it has to begin first in my own heart. And even this morning, I'll tell you this. As I looked at the concentric circles again, and I've been studying all week these things. This morning, as I go back every morning on Sunday, I start at six and I begin to preach this message to myself one more time. And what I did this morning, I just stopped again. And I have a lot to say from Scripture today about the responsibility of husbands specifically and wives specifically. But this morning I was looking at it again and I just stopped and I said, the issue. The issue in every marriage in this room is one issue. Not seeing and understanding the gospel properly. The issue in your marriage, the issue in my marriage, in every situation, the issue is sin. And that comes from me not seeing and understanding and treasuring Jesus Christ in the gospel in my own heart. Because listen, we're going to go through today the role of responsibility of husbands and wives. But you know what? I want you to know this. If you're not treasuring Jesus Christ and if the Gospel is not governing your heart, then this will do nothing for you today. It won't help you at all. Because why don't we fulfill our role as husbands? Selfishness. Pride. What is the gospel produced in the heart of a man? Self-sacrificing love and humility. So without me even telling you what your role is as a husband, I want you to know this. If the gospel has a hold of your heart and you are consumed with the treasure of Jesus Christ, you'll be a good husband. You will be. Because you will look at God's sacrifice in Jesus for a wretch like me and the mercy and grace and love he bestowed at the great cost of his own son, Jesus Christ. And you will be very humble. You will want to reciprocate that love to God. You will want to reciprocate that love to his people and that being your wife. And the same is true with wives. We'll go through the roles today, but I want you to know this. If you're not nurturing your heart in the Word and seeing Jesus Christ and growing in the knowledge of Him, this will be of no value to you. You must be consumed with Jesus Christ and the Gospel. You say, well, I think one of the problems we have is not understanding what our role is. And I will tell you this. The reason you don't understand that is because, again, of a lack of being consumed with the gospel. And I'll show you why. If you look at what Jesus Christ has done for you, his life being broken and shed, his blood being shed, you are compelled to live a life worthy of that in every area of your life. And you give your life to understand what that means. So if you say, well, I don't know what my role is as a husband, it's because you don't treasure Jesus, because if you treasure Jesus, he would be the center of your life and your desire would be to do his will in every area. And you would give yourself to the study of Scripture to ask the questions, what am I as a husband responsible for? So the fact that you don't know is the result that you don't treasure Christ as you should. And the same with wives. So we're going to go through that today. But that's not really the issue at hand. The issue is right here, I don't value Jesus in the gospel like I should, and that will only happen through one way. The reading of this word, the meditating of this word and the Holy Spirit unlocking and opening up the scriptures to you to behold the knowledge of Jesus Christ. Who he is, what he has done and who you are in your union with him. And I want you to know, if you're not willing to go there, I have nothing else to say today. Nothing else. But I'm believing that you want to glorify God. And I'm believing that you want to prioritize your life around Scripture and prayer. and the overflow of that life poured into the Scripture, seeing the treasure of Jesus Christ and seeing all things as lost and dung and compared to the knowledge of knowing Jesus and then responding appropriately will be circles 2, 3, 4, and 5. So this is why self is at the center. Not because you want to be selfish because of my heart's not right. I can be filled with all the knowledge in the world. I won't do anything. I won't do anything. So. A two minute review from last week. We answered the question last week, what's the purpose of marriage? And we answer that by looking at The origin of marriage in the book of Genesis, chapter two, verses 24, which said, therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife and they shall become one flesh. They shall become one flesh. And we saw that marriage is between a man and a woman that cannot be redefined by humanity. It's not acknowledged by God if it's anything else. We see that in marriage, a man leaves his father and mother. He holds fast to his wife and the two become one flesh. We noted that that were the two becoming one flesh is the most quoted passage regarding marriage and all the scriptures. We come to a knowledge of that. And then we said, well, what? That's the origin of marriage. That is God defining what marriage is. Then we ask the question, what's the purpose? What's the pinnacle purpose of marriage? And we looked at where they quoted from Genesis chapter two, verse twenty four. It's the Apostle Paul and Ephesians chapter five. And in verse thirty one, he quotes what we just read in Genesis two, twenty four. And then in verse thirty two, he tells us the ultimate purpose of what marriage is really about. And he said in verse 32, this mystery being marriage is profound. And I'm saying that it refers to Christ and the church. So what we noted and gathered from that is this, that marriage is primarily about displaying the covenant between Christ and the church to magnify the gospel. This is why someone who's not a Christian can never hear this. Someone who's not a born again Christian can never fulfill the purpose of marriage. They just can't. They're completely blind to the reality of it. But once you've been born again, you come to realize marriage isn't so much about you. It's about magnifying the gospel of Jesus Christ. You say, well, how does marriage magnify the gospel of Jesus Christ? Remember, in the gospel, Jesus in self-sacrifice lays his life down to love the church. And in marriage, the husband plays the role of Christ And he sacrifices his life and lays his life down to love his wife. And in the gospel, the church, the people, the body of Christ joyfully and humbly submits themselves unto the Lord. And in marriage, the wife playing the role of the church joyfully submits herself to her own husband. So what Paul is saying is, is this. That when someone sees my marriage and you make it personal, your marriage and husbands, when they see you laying your life down to love your wife, it should be a magnification of the gospel. And wives, when someone sees you lay down your life and submit under your husband, as unto the Lord, they see the gospel. And we talked about knowing that marriage is to be just that a manifestation or a reflection of the gospel. That's our view of the gospel and its importance, which should be eternally high because marriage is to point to that, then our view of marriage should be high, not that married people are better than single people, not in any way. What we're saying is, is that the purpose of marriage is to magnify the gospel, which is why the universe was created. So marriage is pretty high. And I wonder how many of us really approach our marriage with that. When you said, I do, this is what you were saying, I do, too. I will live a life to promote the gospel in my marriage. It isn't about me having my felt needs met. There's great blessings in marriage. That's true, there's great joy and happiness in marriage, that's true. But what's the ultimate purpose to magnify the gospel? So marriage magnifying the gospel, this becomes our why this is our motivation to fulfill your role. You say, I don't even know my role. I would say that your motivation is pretty low, then. Because, see, if you don't even know what your role and purpose is in marriage and you have a low view of marriage, that's because you have a low view of the gospel. The why? Why should I be compelled? Why should I be propelled? What's the fuel that burns inside the heart of a man or woman who has said I do in a covenant relationship to magnify the gospel? It's just that I am here to magnify my Savior and the gospel of Jesus Christ. And if that doesn't compel you. Then I wonder whether your heart's ever been converted. Because that should stir the heart of every true believer who's been born again. Marriage is gospel centered. Gospel driven and a gospel proclaiming union. And this should compel us once again, so although a husband and wife have the same goal in marriage, which is to magnify the gospel, they have very distinct yet complementary roles, and we went through some of that last week and I'll just give a high level summary of that. It's this husband is called to lead his wife and his wife is called to submit to her husband. That's real high level. So the purpose of today is to go to the next step and say, what is this supposed to look like? What should that look like if my goal is to magnify the gospel, high level husband, you're to be the head and lead wife, you're to submit. What should that look like in the context of a home lived out? And that's what we're going to try to answer today. OK. Before we do, let's commit this to the Lord. Father, I come in the name of Jesus. Father, our prayer is that every aspect of life would magnify the gospel. God, you revealed in your word that the primary purpose of marriage is to be a demonstration of the gospel. And I confess before you, I fall short. And I pray for our church in my own heart. That through the preaching of your word and the unveiling of your truth by your spirit and being compelled by the gospel and its worth and value, That every marriage in here would turn today. And better glorify you, that you would work particularly in each heart, husband and wife and every future and husband and wife that you have in this room. That you would work to open up our eyes to what is this call? And that we would be so compelled But it's supposed to display the gospel that we would give our lives to prioritize them in order to fulfill these call and thus glorify your name in our marriages. And God, we can't do that without you. So would you work through the preaching of your word? Help me be faithful to your texts, your truths. Let me have the spirit of Christ here and humble us by your word, encourage us by your word and sanctify us by your word. In the name of Jesus Christ, we pray. Amen. Amen. This is a lifelong pursuit, so we'll go through this today and one of my great struggles today and as I'm going to head to Florida this week is. These things take years to fully understand. And if you don't understand them yet, you need to give your life to understanding them, and as you grow in the knowledge of these things, you grow and conform your life to prioritize around what these callings look like. So the struggle is, what do I do here in an hour? What do I even hit on in an hour? That's. This is a life of study, so my hope is that as I begin to just lay out some paths that you are compelled to now meditate upon these things. And let the spirit work in your heart as you continue to grow and the understanding of your role as a husband or as a wife. There are three main texts. that people primarily point to regarding a wife's role. So I hit the three texts, but I think you'll find in the three texts there's one unified message. And to help us out, I put in blue the unified message. I think it'll stick out if I didn't do it, but just to make sure that it did. So I'm going to read the texts, all three of them, and then we'll try to expound them. The biblical call of wives. Ephesians 5, 22 through 24. Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands. Colossians 3.18 Wives, submit to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord. 1 Peter 3.1-6 Likewise, wives be subject to your own husbands so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be one without a word by the conduct of their wives when they see a respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning the external, the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry or the clothing you wear, but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy woman who hoped in God used to adorn themselves by submitting to their own husbands as a Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord. And you are her children if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. I think it's clear what the unified message and the three main texts given in the New Testament for the wife is submission to her husband. Now, we want to ask, OK, what does that even mean? Because when we say things clearly commanded here, wives, submit to your husband, wives, submit to your husband's wives, submit to your husband, be subject to them. To say, OK, I agree with that, you need to as a Christian, but then you're forced to ask this question, what does it even mean? So when we read the Bible, we say, well, what does it say? Submit to your husband, submit to your husband, submit to your husband. And when you're reading the Bible, you ask, what does that mean? And then we gather the context of what's around it to understand what does it mean to submit to my husband? And that's what we're going to do. And then we become doers of the word by examining ourselves in light of what this is and by God's grace, living it out. So what's the primary calling regarding her husband? The wife's is one of submission. What is submission means to make yourself subject to to be supported to. The definition submission requires the understanding that the husband is the head. If a wife is to be submitting to her husband, it's clear that the husband is to be the head. He is to lead. This is why last week I spoke a little bit about this egalitarian versus complementary view of men and women, the roles, the egalitarian view said that there is no difference between men and women regarding leadership or roles. And we noted that God establishing roles does not mean women have a lesser view in God's eyes, that he's not esteem them less. And we looked primarily at first Corinthians, chapter 11, where it says that the head of Jesus Christ is the father and the head of every man is Jesus and the head of every wife is her husband. And we noted that Jesus willfully fulfilled the role and submitted himself to the father. Was he any less God? No. He wasn't any less God. Was he less esteemed in the eyes of God by submitting himself to God to fulfill a role? No. So when humanity looks at the call in Scripture of a wife to submit to their husband and the feminist movement says we will not do that, what they're saying is for me to lower myself underneath this man, I'm not doing that. That's wrong. That makes me less of a person. And the Bible says, no, it doesn't. You're calling Jesus Christ less of a person, then. Jesus is not less of a person. He joyfully, humbly submitted to the role that the father had given to him. And wives, you're not less. We looked at Galatians chapter three, that in Christ we are all one. There's not male or female. You're one. You have a different role. And in the eyes of fallen humanity, that looks like less. But we don't look through the eyes of fallen humanity. We look through the lens of Scripture. That's called having a biblical worldview. Which we must be training our children towards. So this is not less of a role. This is just the biblical role. And for us to say there's no head in the marriage, there's no leadership in the marriage. We just submit to each other. That's unbiblical. That's a really poor rendering of Ephesians chapter five. Because right before this text in Ephesians, it says that we are to submit to one another. That's the verse they used to point to. But if you write really exegete the text, what it's really saying is this. We as Christians in the body of Christ need to be submitting to one another. And then he gives three ways where to submit to one another. Wives submit to your husbands. Children submit to your fathers and parents. And then slaves submit to your masters or workers submit to your bosses. So he's not saying there's just equality in roles given when he says submit to one another in the body of Christ. The examples he gives are specific. In that case, we should say this, then children, you shouldn't submit to your parents. They should submit to you if you're a Christian. There's no head there. It's just parents who cares. And when you go to work, your boss is a Christian. You don't have to submit to him. You're the boss. You should have CEO on your card just like he does. I mean, that's ridiculous. But that's the argument used. So Submission now, as we're considering Ephesians five, Colossians three and first Peter three to get a grasp of what a submission look like. Get a picture of what is biblical submission. Well, ask this question, to whom is the wife to submit to? The answer given all on those to your own husband, this mission is not a call for you to submit to other men. It's a call for you to submit to your own husband. OK. There is a submission, I would say, to elders, leaders in the church, but not in the same way that you submit to your husband. You've been given one husband. How are you to submit to me? As to the Lord or in the same way as the church submits to Christ, it says in Ephesians chapter five. So in the same way that the church submits to Christ, what was the church? What does the church submit to Christ in everything? Everything. This is a big one. This submission is not contingent upon the husband. This is where the motivation comes in. And this is where I think husbands should feel the most weight. OK. The wife's submission is not contingent upon her husband. And we get that from First Peter, chapter three, we just read, because it says, even if some of them do not obey the word, you're still to submit to them. Now, we would understand that unless your husband asks you to do something contrary to God's word, then we would obey God rather than man, as it says in the book of Acts, when they asked him not to preach Christ anymore. They say we will obey God rather than man. That's a good biblical principle that would say if your husband asks you to do something that's contrary to the word of God, then you do not submit to that. But in any other area, you do submit to your husband. And it says here, though, even if he's not obeying the word, we have women in here who are married to unbelieving spouses. They're still to submit to them. Until they tell them to disobey God, they're to submit to them. We have women in here whose husbands are not fulfilling their call as leaders in the home. Still to submit to them. And the weightiness that we men should feel is this. God has called your wife. to submit to a very imperfect man. And that should propel you to study what your call is and to fulfill that. Because I will say this, we talked about these roles being complimentary. Your wife needs to submit to you whether you're leading well or not. But you do help her when you lead well. So when you don't lead well, you make her calling that much more difficult. You know what text comes to mind to me there? Woe to you who by temptations come. You tempt your wife to make her calling that much harder. You tempt her by being a lack of a leader, not leading her biblically, by being lazy or selfish, yet she's still called to submit to you. We should make our wives call to submit to us as easy as possible. And we do that by loving them with the love of Christ. This is a weighty text, not only for the women, but for the men. And when we preach this a few years back, this was a weighty year for me than verse seven, as we get to it in a little bit was. So wives. When a husband is not obeying the word, whether he's a believer or an unbeliever, doesn't change your call of submission. That's hard. So when a husband's not obeying the word. The fleshly response of a person in this case being a wife would be to use her mouth to deal with that. That's going to be the fleshly reactive response, so when your husband is not leading well, when he's not, when he's being selfish, the response that's going to come if you're not guarding your mouth is going to be right here. But that's exactly what Peter warns that should not happen. He said, how will you win them? He says you will win them without a word. Now, this is so contrary to our culture and to our default, it's not a call for silence in the home that you can never speak with your husband, talk with your husband or even disagree with your husband. But it's saying this, your natural inclination, women in the flesh, is going to be to respond to your husband when he's not leading the way you should with your mouth. And I want you to know that's not God's ordained means of winning your husband. And this will be a great temptation for wives. A great temptation. How will they be won? They'll be won by the conduct of their wives. You know why this is a faith issue? Because your husband's not leading well and you want to respond with your words, but you say, I'm going to do this the biblical way and I'm going to respond with my conduct and we'll see what that conduct looks like in a minute. But you don't see the impact as quickly as you would like. And so you don't trust God and his timing anymore, then what do you do? You don't fulfill his role anymore because it doesn't appear to be working. So then what do you do? You begin to use your mouth to try to win your husband. And you go contrary, you're working now against God. And it's not going to go well. What should this conduct look like? Peter answers it. What type of conduct? It is respectful and pure conduct. So you say, well, I'm doing some conduct in over here. Well, is it respectful and pure? Because if it isn't, you're not in the will of God. Your conduct that will win your husband over is respectful and pure. That's not the natural response for conduct, I'll tell you. This will be a heart consumed with the gospel of Jesus Christ that will respond with respectful and pure conduct. So, wives, what am I saying to you? If you're not fulfilling concentric circle number one, you won't do well here. You will not do well. And when you begin to see a breakdown, you begin to use your mouth to try to win your husband back instead of respectful and pure conduct. You need to go back to circle one and say, where am I missing this? Because I'm clearly going contrary to what your word says. What is respectful and pure conduct look like? It will be like an adorning, Peter says. What kind of adorning will be, Peter? Well, let me tell you, it's not one of external adorning, one of hair or jewelry or clothing. That's not the adorning that wins a husband back. It's a worldly way to win husbands back. We're not dealing with the world. What kind of adorning will clothe? A wife who is seeking to be biblical and when her husband back with respectful and pure conduct. It'll be an internal adorning. A hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the eyes of God. So you say, am I doing this right? Well, then I would ask you this. And I mean this with all sincerity. Ask your husband this week. When things because the assumption here is things aren't going your way, OK? He's not obeying the world, he's doing something you don't believe is right. The assumption here is that. Can your husband answer in those moments, do I come with Respectful and pure conduct demonstrated by the adorning of of a gentle and quiet spirit. That your husband should be able to say, yes, you do. No one's perfected in here. But as a style of life, yes, you do. And if the answer is. No, you do not. And you need to repent. You need to repent. Because what will win your husband, believer or unbeliever? What will win him, the means God has chosen, I'm not saying unbelieving husbands are going to be saved. I'm not saying believing has to be perfected. The means God has chosen to win your husband. Is conduct of a gentle and quiet spirit. That should define all of our lives. To define all of our lives. And I want you to know this wise that just as a husband in his complimentary role of headship can help you by leading biblically in this, you can help your husband by submitting biblically in this. Because if you don't submit to your husband and you try to use your mouth to win him. You work against God's way and you don't help, but you hurt. The very thing you are trying to get to, which I believe is the goal of our wives, they want their husband to lead, as the Bible calls them. But you're going about it the wrong way and you're actually working against the very thing you desire. And oh, how frustrating that will be. Oh, how frustrating that will be. Let me give you a summary of a submissive calling. Submit to your own husband as to the Lord, even when he doesn't lead well, being motivated by the call to magnify the gospel, not based on how he leads. The evidence you are fulfilling this call is you'll be adorned with respectful and pure conduct, which is manifested by the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. A warning sign you're not fulfilling the call is you're trying to win your husband over with words which is not trusting the Lord. Consider with me for a moment the times when you justify not going this path. It's when your husband is not treating you kindly or leading you biblically like you want him to. If he doesn't treat me the right way, if he doesn't lead me the way I think he should, then what? I will not submit to him then. And I will not be a gentle and quiet spirit. I'll be a loud and wordy person. And I want to ask this question. Who's at the center of that thinking? You. This is the fulfillment of James, I have a desire that's not being met, therefore, what I murder, so James says a murder in my heart, you're not meeting my desire and we justify because the desire is a good desire, which is that he would lead you biblically. So I've got a good desire in my heart. He's not doing it. Therefore, I must take matters into my own hands. This gentle and quiet stuff doesn't work. Here comes a verbal lashing. And you just worked against the very thing you're trying to get to. God ordained the end, God ordains the means we are called as people to understand those means and by his grace, walk faithfully in them. And we're not doing that. We're not helping our husbands and we are working contrary to the gospel and God's word. What should be at the center, encouraging and motivating you, the worth of the gospel proclamation, even if he's not leading me like he should, I will respond with a gospel centered heart. I will submit it unto the Lord because my motivation is not him. Your husband's not your motivation for fulfilling the call of submission. Jesus Christ is. So even when he's not doing it well, Jesus deserves it. Even when he's not treating you like he should, Jesus deserves it. So take your eyes off of your husband as your motivation or yourself as your motivation and set them on Christ. And he's always worthy of perfect obedience. Therefore, you will submit in every situation as the scripture calls you to with a gentle and quiet spirit. Can I give you a key, because that's not easy. Because you begin to doubt that's going to work. And the key is found in first Peter, chapter two, you don't have to read it now, but Jesus Christ has given you to you as the example before you get to first Peter, chapter three, which is husband and wives. And in first Peter, chapter two, it talks about Jesus Christ submitting himself. And you think about Jesus Christ on the cross. It looks like things are not going well. I mean, from a human perspective, why do you think the disciples scattered? Their Savior is getting crucified. He's losing. He's going to die. What do you think the temptation, spiritual warfare of the humanity of Christ was? You lost. Came to fill this great plan. You're on a tree somewhere being nailed. And what do you think the temptation of a wife? who's trying to submit to her husband as unto the Lord with a gentle and quiet spirit. And she's looking in front of him and her husband seems to get it getting worse and worse in his biblical leading. The temptation to say is this, it isn't going to turn out well. You had to do something different because this isn't working. And what first Peter to twenty one to twenty three says is that Jesus Christ entrusted himself to the Lord. And wise. When you look at your husband not leading you as he should, you're being discouraged, but you want to be faithful and continue to submit it unto the Lord. You do that by entrusting yourself to the Lord, looking like this. God, it doesn't look like this is going well, but I know this is what You have called me to. And I can't see how this is going to turn out for good. It seems to be impacting my entire family. It seems like things are heading in the right direction. I'm being tempted to go a different route and try a different way, because it seems like that would be more effective. But I entrust myself to You. And I will stay firm on the path, believing that You will work this out for good. You see that? It's a faith issue. I want you to know you can trust him. He controls the end. You just be faithful, you measure all things, wives, by obedience to the word. By obedience, you do it his way, even when it doesn't seem like it's going right, you entrust yourself to him. That's what Christ did. Can I give one additional calling that's mentioned two times in the New Testament? So I felt it necessary to mention this calling to wives, and it's somewhat of a controversial topic, which we're not afraid to dig into because we believe it's biblical. OK, so let me share it with you. An additional calling to the wives is found in Titus, chapter two, verse five and first Timothy, chapter five, verse 14. And the calling Paul uses two times as he calls women to be working at home and managing their household. Working at home and managing their household. So these are calls, these are commands given to women by Paul two times, you can look at them up yourself. And whenever we bring this up, people say, what does that mean? And literally it means to managing family affairs, caring for the house, a domestic. Now, we know culturally. That's not accepted as a good calling for one. That's inequality. But we look through the lens of Scripture. And we ask, is this a biblical calling? And it clearly is. So then we must ask the question. What does that mean or how do I fulfill that then? And the first question I typically get when I talk to people about this is, are you telling me that women cannot work outside the home? It's the first question I get. So the answer to that is this is not a prohibitive text. It is not saying it is sinful for women to work outside the home. It is a commanding text. You must fulfill your call to manage the home. That's what it's saying. Okay. So what people do is they don't study and think through and think of the practical implications of managing a home. So I want to just think through that a little bit. We played a video there. Let's take a normative situation, not higher or lower, just normative in our church. You have a mother. Married. Three kids, four kids. Ignorative situation in the church. How do I apply that text? I would encourage every husband to sit down with their wife because I think husbands are one of the main culprits of our abuse of this. I want you to sit down with your wife this week and ask her. What are all the things you do in managing the home? And get an understanding of that. Have you ever thought about what it takes to plan out a weekly schedule of meals? Three meals a day with snacks in between for four kids and a husband. To cook all those meals, have those meals prepared, have them taste decent. Edible. Try to be healthy and gluten free. and try to accomplish this, go to the store and do all these things, just that task alone. How long does that take, let alone the cooking of those meals and the preparation of those meals? Takes a while, takes a long time. You take five people's laundry, not about your home. We could use three in our home and it never stopped. I mean, it's just a vicious cycle. It just never stops. That thing's just always running. Get dirty boys and a baby and food and everything is just running. Then we talk about just maintaining a level of cleanliness in the home in order. How long does that take? And then we talk about the reality, we'll get this in circle for things like hospitality in the home. We want to be having the people over to the home. OK, what do we talk about when we're going to do that? I'm going to be able to serve one another in these things. And then we get into organizing at home, we get into a lot of our families homeschool, and I'm not saying that's the only way to educate your children, but you should have a Christian education. That's a difficult job to do. But the average person in here does homeschool. So how long does that take? Four or five hours. And by the way, husbands, You want your wife to give you some attention. And rightfully so, so you want her to not be falling asleep, so she needs to get to bed early and you want her to be in the word of God, you wanted to get up early and read. And by the way, when you do all of this, I want you to bring home a full time salary to. Do you see the problem? Do the numbers this week. It doesn't add up. And I'm not saying it's a sin for a wife to work outside the home, but I definitely will say this, if your work outside the home keeps you from fulfilling your call in the home, it is sin. Because you are called to manage the home. That's not that's biblical. And what we need to do as husbands and as couples is sit down and say, what does it even mean? Because what I see a lot of the time is saying, OK, we'll try to fulfill this managing of the home. But my wife works a full time job. And guess what? She is exhausted coming home. And then I got to be doing all this stuff, too, and she's doing all this stuff and we're at each other's throats. The kids are tired. We're not patient with them. We're yelling back and forth. We're doing that. How's it going in your home? How's it? And we can't do any fellowship because we're just so tired from working jobs, trying to just read on our own, let alone keep this house organized. And you want to bring people into my house? Well, fellowship's a command. Yes, I want you to bring people into your home. We're going to get into hospitality, the command of hospitality in Scripture. We'll get into that. So these aren't things you should just say, well, we just can't do it. So I'm not up here telling you if you're a wife and you work outside the home, your family's in sin. I'm not saying that. What I'm asking you is this. Are you fulfilling your call to manage the home? Are you and your husband in agreement in these things and is your call of managing your home and you working outside the home, adding so much pressure that you can't fulfill circle one time in the word and pray because you're so tired, you're struggling in your own marriage because you're never together. You're barely leading your children because you're so tired. You haven't had anybody in your home for hospitality for weeks because you have no time for that. And preaching the gospel is not even on the agenda yet. Do you see the problem? So you say, well, my pastor said it's wrong for women to work outside of that. I didn't say that. I'll say this. Anything that keeps you from fulfilling the commands in scripture is sin. It's idolatry. It's idolatry. You say, well, we can't afford it. Here's a great example again, and I'll just bring up Brother Paul again. Brother Paul Ennis was in a situation where he was striving to fulfill his call to provide for his family, but he was not fulfilling the other concentric circles in his life. He didn't know what to do. He had to provide. He couldn't find a job that gave him the hours to lead his wife, lead his family, fellowship, preach the gospel, nurture his own soul. What am I going to do? He began faithfully and diligently to pray, God, I want to do things your way. And it took some time to get it right. But you heard him give up here and give his testimony a few weeks ago. That brother has to be home before 30 every day. His job commands it now. He's getting more money. And I'm not saying this is health, wealth and prosperity. What I'm saying is this. When you commit your way to the Lord to do things according to Scripture, God blesses that. And it may take time. So if you're fulfilling it and doing it, amen. Praise the Lord. But my fear is. You're giving up other aspects of the concentric circles because it's so difficult and you're so tired. And if you're not in that case, then just forget everything I just said and keep doing what you're doing. But really examine that. And question that, because I'll tell you this, it's hard even when a wife stays home full time, that's hard. And you add in the work week to that, it's even harder. So if you can do it and you're biblical, I've got nothing to say against you. But if you're failing in concentric circle one, two, three, four and five, and your wife works outside the home, I would really prayerfully consider whether you should change that and bring her back in and bring because here's the other reality. A husband goes out and labors as he should, works hard as he should, provides for his home as he should and comes home. His wife is there. My wife makes my home a place I want to be at. If you say, Jesse, you got some free time, what do you want to do? I'm going home. I want to be with my wife and my kids, I want to be at home with them. Not to the neglecting of the body, not to the neglecting of evangelism, I call as a pastor, but I want to be at home. My home is a welcoming environment that I go to to be strengthened in. But if everyone is so pulled and exhausted, That you come home and it's full of tension. It's not where you want to go. We want that to be the environment. And husbands, I'm speaking to you now, have you put your wife in a position to succeed in fulfilling her call as a wife and a mother? Because you're the head of the home. You're the head of the home. So this is not a forbidding text to work outside the home, but it's a commanding text. And if you do anything that keeps you from fulfilling the command, it has become sin. And I can't say that in your home, you got to examine yourself and say that. And this is not to say that some a wife in here in this church works outside the home, that we would look at her any different at all. But if she wasn't fulfilling the concentric circles, that'd be a problem, just as there would be with a wife who works only in the home. Not to be minimized by staying only, but not to working outside. And if she wasn't fulfilling the concentric circles, we would be concerned. So I'm asking you this, are you putting yourselves in positions to fulfill these calls from a practical reality? That's what we're called to do, to structure and prioritize our life to fulfill these calls. Husbands. By the way, that was what I would say, very high level on the call of a wife. My goal was to get you pointed in a direction biblically and that you would plow the grounds now. You would plow the grounds. Three main texts given to men, one unified message. What's the unified message? Ephesians chapter five. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church, gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word so that he might present the church to himself in splendor without spot or wrinkle or any such thing that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own body. He who loves his wife loves himself for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. Colossians 319 Husband, love your wives and not be harsh with them. First Peter 3 7. Likewise, husbands live with your wives in an understanding way or dwell with them according to knowledge, literally showing her Showing honor to the woman as a weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you in the grace of life so that your prayers may not be hindered. We noted last week that husbands are called to lead. They are the head of the home. And in every area, in every way, they are the head of the home. They are to lead spiritually in the home. Husbands, you are called to be the prophet in your home to give instruction and direction. You're called to be the priest of your home, per se, to pray and intercede on behalf of your family. You're called to be the provider of your home. OK, to make provision there, you're called to be the protector of your home, to guard it. So you're called in every way to lead your home. Some scriptures that are given for that. Let's try to understand. Knowing a husband is called to lead or to be the head. Knowing he is called to love as Christ loved the church. The husband's primary calling is one of loving servant leadership or headship. Loving servant leadership or headship. The husband, Jesus Christ, is an example and loving, serving leadership. Christ is your example. So what did our culture would look at the call for leadership and fall into one or two categories which you must guard against men. One category men tend to fall into is a dictatorship. Where they are leading with the benefits of gaining themselves, they are authoritarians, they abuse their leadership. That's one area you could fall into, and it's very selfish. The other area you could fall into is selfish passivity. And both of those are very selfish, and both of those are sin. So whether you say, well, I'm the head, you saw the verses the pastor gave, I make the rules. That's dictatorship. You do it my way. That's dictatorship. Or I don't care. I'm tired. That's passivity. Both of them are very selfish. Both of them have you at the center. Jesus Christ is our example, and he was a servant leader, which in our culture is an oxymoron. The leader sits on a throne. And our culture, with Jesus being the perfect example, was a servant leader, a couple of examples of that, Matthew 20, 28, even as the son of man came not to be served, but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many. God in the flesh came to serve. Philippians 2, 4 through 7. But each of you not look only to his own interest, but also to the interest of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking on the form of a servant and being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. That's your example, husbands. Have that mind. There's no doubt in anyone's mind here that Jesus was a good leader and he was a leader, but he was a servant leader. Great example of that was demonstrated when he washed the disciples' feet in John 13. Look at verse 12 through 15. He says, you understand what I have done to you, to the disciples? He says, you call me teacher and Lord and you are right. And what is he doing there? He's saying, listen, by the fact that I washed your feet did not lower me from being teacher and Lord. And so, husbands, by you serving your wife and children does not mean you lower the call of leadership or are not the leader anymore. What Jesus is saying, you did right when you called me teacher and Lord, and it didn't diminish my leadership when I washed your feet and served you. So, husbands, it doesn't diminish your leadership when you lead by washing your wife's feet. As Jesus said, I have washed your feet, you ought to also wash one another's feet, for I have given you an example that you should do just as I have done to you. No one in the room when the disciples feet are being washed is questioning who's the leader in the room. It's Jesus Christ. And in your home, men, you should be the greatest foot washer, leading by example that there is. Should be washing and serving. Men, could your wife Stop right now and describe you as a servant leader. Does your husband lead? No, he's passive. That's sin. You need to repent. Does your husband lead? Oh, he leads from a throne. That's sin. I should be able to walk up to any wife in here and say, talk to me about your husband's leadership. And she should say, he is a servant leader after Jesus Christ. He serves our family. He labors long hours. You say, well, man, I'm tired. You have not served to the point of death, even death on a cross. You have not. Be a man. Be a man. What's the husband's primary calling, then, in understanding those verses? He's called to be a servant leader. But Jesus was not only a servant leader, he was what? A loving leader. A loving leader. So let's look at the verses we looked at in Ephesians, Colossians and First Peter and see if we get a picture of what your loving leadership should look like. OK. Our love for our wives must be as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. You're loving your wife should be self-sacrificing. If your love does not cost you anything, it's not true love. For God so loved the world that he. Gave. And when you should so love your wife and so love Jesus Christ that you give give what you give your life. What about my rights, what about the rights of Jesus Christ and who is nailed to a tree? See, that's just quiet enough real quick, doesn't it? So we're talking about God and wretched sinners. Who, I will tell you this, no matter how your wife treats you, it is nothing in comparison to the way you treated Jesus Christ before you were saved, because he is infinitely holy and your sin is infinitely offensive and he willfully subjected himself and humbled himself to serve you by dying. So I don't think you want to play the compare game. You're not there yet. If you have the worst wife in the world, it's not that bad still. Give your life up. What about my needs? Your needs are met in Jesus Christ. What if she doesn't? Jesus Christ is sufficient. If she doesn't do anything right, you are sufficient in Jesus Christ. And when you are sufficient in Jesus Christ, it doesn't matter how anyone else treats you. I'm not condoning a sinning wife. I'm saying that a man who is secured and loved by Jesus Christ and has an inheritance waiting for him is sufficient in Jesus Christ. And no matter how anyone responds, he responds with love because God loves him first through Jesus Christ. We need to stop complaining. You know, when she starts to meet my no. Did you meet Jesus's needs before he died for you? Not once, not one second of one hour, any time ever. All you did was sin and he died. He gave his life. We don't love our wives because of the way they treat us. We love our wives because of Jesus Christ and what He has done. And it shuts the mouth of what about me questions. Look at Christ. And you will love her right. No matter how she treats you, and I'm not saying you can't speak to those things, but don't complain and don't say, well, I'm not going to love you because she's wrong. We love as Christ loved and self-sacrificing. Now, when Jesus Christ loved his wife, he loved his bride and he died for her, he had a purpose in that. Listen to what he says. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Why? Why did he do it? That he might sanctify her. He had a goal in his loving to make them like himself, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of the water with the word. so that he might present the church to himself in splendor without spot or wrinkle or any such thing that she might be holy without blemish. And in the same way, husbands, you love your wife, meaning what my love for my wife should have an intended purpose, what to make her like Jesus. that she would see my love and think of Jesus, and that my love towards her will involve a spiritual leadership aspect, just as Christ did for us, that we have in mind. My leadership for my wife will entail leading her closer to Christ by the way I lead and love her. What will it be marked by? It will be marked by nourishing, feeding, and bringing up into maturity. By cherishing a tender love, a keeping warm, it'll be marked by your goal to make her mature in Christ. You see, if you love your wife and you want what is best for her. What's best for your wife to be like Jesus, so your efforts and your desires and your pointing would be to make her like Christ. That's why he speaks to things like washing her in the water, the word. nourishing and cherishing her with a sanctifying end in mind. Christ is concerned with the spiritual well-being and is leading, and so should we. Another defining attribute of our love to our wives found in Colossians chapter three, verse 19, is that this you would not be harsh. I mean, think of Colossians That we're going to get to that, but think of what it said there. Love your wife as Christ, love the church and don't be harsh. My love should never be harsh. It shouldn't be harsh with her. Listen, there are times we need to be serious. There are times we need to be directed and pointed, but a harshness is different. Shouldn't be harsh. First Peter, chapter three, we should live with them in an understanding way. And really, this is pointing to dwelling with them according to knowledge. We need to be considerate of our wives. We need to be tender, we need to be sensitive, we need to be understanding, and I want you to know this, to be understanding with someone requires information and information comes through communication. How much time do you spend talking to your wife a week? How much time? Just talking, how are you doing, what's going on? I'm not talking about sit down, specified teaching time, I'm just talking about talking. Talking to her, because it's in those conversations, brothers, that you gain an understanding of your wife. And it's in your study of her actual roles that you gain an understanding of what she's been called to so you can make it easier for her. Honey, in which ways of my leadership do I make it harder for you to submit to me? It's a good question. What am I doing to make your call of submission more difficult? I want to understand so I can make it easier and live with you in an understanding way. You know why we don't ask that question? We really don't want to know. That's why you don't ask it. Showing honor to her, showing value to her as the weaker vessel. You see, there you go again, Jesse, talking about weakness. Well, this is a call for husbands to just be the protector. If you know you're married to the weaker vessel, really it's a call for you to just be the strong protector. To look out for your wife. To understand her role and your role. I'll tell you this, men. The reason you don't love your wife as Christ love the church is because you don't see the gospel rightly on a daily basis. The gospel is the most humbling thing in the world, because it says all you contributed to this is sin. And would you get eternal life with the creator of the universe at the cost of his own son? There's nothing more humbling than that. And by the way, you didn't come, I drew you. And by the way, you didn't repent, I gave you repentance. And you didn't believe on your own, I gave you faith. You didn't raise yourself from the dead, I put my spirit within you and I woke you up. And every time you obey, it's because I grace you, even though I'm giving you responsibility. In other words, this all the glory from the moment you're saved until you die goes to God. It's very humbling. But the problem we have, men, and not loving our wives is we don't study the gospel enough. I know this whole book points to one truth, and that is that Jesus Christ is God's plan for redemption for all of history. That's the message of this book. And I want to ask all of our men to guard your heart. And studying something other than that. You got to study the whole book, but if you give yourself to something that does not lead you back to the understanding of deepening you in the gospel of Jesus Christ, be careful. Your primary conversations with your wife and with those in the church need to be about the gospel. Now, we speak to the whole of Scripture. We study the whole of Scripture. But the whole of Scripture points to one thing, Jesus. So if your studying of things does not bring you back to Jesus Christ, I want to say you're missing the point. You need to understand the gospel. Study things in the Bible. Study every book, every word. But ask yourself this, then at the end of this study, do I understand and know Jesus more and want to glorify him more? Am I just filled with knowledge? It's about the gospel. All of this requires intentional and continual communication and time. So what's the summary of loving servant leadership? Husbands are called to lead their wives by serving them and loving them as Christ love the church and serve the church. They are to help their wives grow in Christ likeness by nourishing and cherishing them while showing them honor by living with them in an understanding way and not being harsh, but kind. And when do we justify not fulfilling this call when we're not getting what I want? Respect, intimacy, recognition, rest and who's at the center of that thinking self. What should be our why the worth of the proclamation of the gospel, which is the goal of marriage. This is a high calling for husbands, it is a high calling for wives, it is difficult responsibilities, that's why our homes must be filled with grace. Grace, I mean, if you understand your wife's calling, you'd be more gracious to her when she fails. And wives, if you understand your husband's calling, you'll be more gracious when they fail. I give you now an end on practical implications for marriage roles. Husbands, you're responsible for the spiritual condition of your home and your wife. Now, it is true that when your wife stands before the Lord, she will stand alone. I understand that. No wife's getting into heaven on the coattails of their husband. I understand that. And if you lead your wife well, it doesn't guarantee she's going to love Jesus Christ, just like if you lead your children where there's no guarantee they're going to love Jesus. But, men, you will give an account for how you led your wife. You're a steward here. You will be found faithful or unfaithful. One of the things you can do, husbands, to help your wife is not overloading your wife with activities and fellowships, but guarding her time in the Word. One of the best ways, husband, you can lead your wife spiritually is making sure you make sure she has time in the word and in prayer. I'm not saying treat her like your child, but one of the things you have to do with your children, especially as they're growing up, you help train them in the discipline of the reading of the word and prayer, right? You just help them, you carve out time. Maybe you should do it here. This is what it should look like here. Well, as the spiritual leader of your home's husbands, one of the best ways you can lead your wife is to make sure your wife has time to be alone in the word and prayer. What does that mean? She may have to go to bed earlier to get up in the morning. What does that mean? You make sure the kids are in bed at a reasonable hour so she can do that and be focused. What does it mean? You got to stop hospitality a little bit earlier. What does it mean? We can't do as many extracurricular activities. You see how this begins to just work backwards? And this is the prioritizing of life around these things. Find a time. Honey, when would be the best time for you? And how can I arrange my schedule to make that work? And do it. That's leadership. Husbands, you're to be teaching your wives formally and informally. Formally and informally. I'm not saying you have to have five days of Bible study alone with your wife, but I'm saying you need to be teaching your wives and washing her in the world. And that happens at a formal time and at an informal time. In your conversations, you're thinking biblically, helping her see things biblically, and then sitting down and also going through things with her. Wives, you're to be looking to your husbands. You're to be looking to your husbands. If God gave you a husband, there's a purpose in that. First Corinthians 14, 33 to 35 says, as in the church of all the saints, the women should keep silent in the churches for the not permitted to speak, but should be in submission as as the law also says, if there's anything they desire to learn, let them ask their husbands at home. And I understand the context here is determining doctrine is really what is determining. I mean, the context actually is prophecy in tongues and whether they're really from God or not in this particular church at the time. And they're saying, hey, listen, the wives don't determine that husbands do. So he's talking about having authority and teaching over wives, just like he does in First Timothy, chapter two. But where does Paul direct wives? Regarding questions that they have, where does he direct them? To their husbands at home. What's the assumption Paul's making? They're fulfilling Ephesians chapter five. They are washing their wife in the word. They're fulfilling their call as spiritual leader in the home. They've accepted that responsibility to understand their call and fulfill it. And Paul says, well, go home to your husband. That's one of the reasons why God gave him to you. Do you see that? Now, in order for that to be happening, husbands, guess what? You got to know the word. Maybe she's not coming to you because you're not studying the word. I'm not excusing that. And it's OK if your wife comes and you go, I don't know, then what study till you do. Or how about this, you come and say, what do we do in this situation? I don't know. Let's study that together and find out that's leadership. And if you still don't know, come ask one of the brothers. Can you give me some passages I could read to discern in this area? There you go. Go study him. And you sit down and study him with your wife. This is just practical living out of these things. So Paul believes that husbands, number one, understand truth. Number two, they're teaching their wives. And number three, he wants their wives to look to them. That's the order Paul's given. He understands that Paul's a man of order. Now, what about a wife's growing in the knowledge of grace of Jesus Christ? Where does that come from? A wife's growing in the knowledge and grace of Jesus Christ will come through the hearing of the word. That's what you're doing right here. So, husbands, one of the ways you lead is by making sure you're in a biblical church that preaches the full counsel of God. That's the responsibility you have. That's leadership. OK? You don't choose churches based on convenience. You choose them based on truth. That's one reason. Number two, they learn through their husband. First Corinthians 14, we just learned, Ephesians chapter 5, 25 through 30. Number three, they learn through personal reading and studying. Renew your mind's day. It's a command given to all believers and wisdom to be in the word, renewing their minds daily. Where do they learn also? Through edifying relationships with other women. OK, we see that in Titus chapter two, verses three through five. But I want to give a careful thing on that. You ready? I am so in favor of godly, gospel centered relationships with women to women in the church. But I am so against those relationships taking the place of husbands. And I will tell you this, that's primarily what I see out there. So if you see me seemingly being very guarded and careful about those things. That's why, because it is creeping in unnoticed. The issue I have is relationships with other women in the church, women, women should not be in the place of their husband. The great majority of what we see happening in the professing church between women today is an attempt to fill the void of husbands not leading well. And I will guard against that. I will guard against that. Because if a man's not leading well, that's a issue that needs to be dealt with and we don't fix the issue by saying, well, I'll just go meet with a woman, let her be my husband. In that sense, that's wrong. That's wrong. And so one of the things we're striving to do, this is why I talked to you guys about this a long time ago, a pastor is more than the man in the pulpit. Okay? And so, it's slow, and we're believing God's going to raise up other elders, but one of the realities is me coming into your home and sitting with you and asking those types of questions. What are you guys doing in regards to fulfilling Ephesians chapter 5? Nothing. That's it. How are you leading your children? You see, what are you trying to get my business for? That's my job. I love you, I mean it with all my heart, that's my job and I love you. I will give an account for you. I'm terrified by that. If I can be real candid with you, there are days I want to go walk in front of that church. I look out here and I see a lot of responsibility. And I'm trusting the Lord because we're not putting a big sign with neon lights inviting the whole universe in here, you got to look to find it. So I know that God's drawn the ones he's drawn and I'm just trusting him. But I know what this means. I just look here and I just see responsibility, responsibility, responsibility. You're going to give an account for this one day. And in order to do that biblically, I got to be in your life. And so if I ask you probing and prying questions, it is because I love you. And if I see something that concerns me biblically, I will address it. And I will walk with you and I will be patient with you because I understand progression. But to let you just sit there, and if you're not leading well husband, you know what I see a lot of times with husbands in this situation? They encourage their wives to go, yeah, go get with those women over there. You know why? The pressure's off me now. Now I can relax on Thursday nights. No. I'm all for godly women getting together, encouraging each other, strengthening each other in the context of Titus chapter two, discipling. I'm all for that. But again, my fear is this. Almost all of what I see, not all, almost all of what I see in that is because a husband is failing. Think with me on just a wife perspective for one moment. We need to practically think through this just for a moment. She's hearing the Word today. I pray she's meditating on the Word. That's why I give you the sermon notes. To be a hearer and not a doer is wrong. To become a doer, you have to meditate on the Word. Meditation on the Word that we preach here today. OK? So she's hearing it on Sunday and she's meditating on it during the week sometime. She's fulfilling her call to be in the Word faithfully daily. So she's reading the Word daily. Her husband's pouring into her formally and informally. She's being fed there. There's family worship going on in the home. She's being fed there. You take all of that. OK, and then you put all the other responsibilities of managing a home on top of that. If that's happening, I want you to know this, your wife will be fed. Now, I'm not saying there's not additional biblical support for women to come alongside of women and train them in the things that they've been called to. I'm for that. But what I'm not for is a man not doing his job and then a wife saying, I need to be fed. And he says, well, go find a woman's Bible study and get fed. I'm against that. That's what I'm against. So if you feel like, man, you you really seem to be against women getting together. I want you to know what I am against. I'm against that. But if women get together and it's biblical and it's godly and it's edifying, I'm for that. But not at the expense of fulfilling your other responsibilities in the concentric circles again. So yes, if I seem guarded, I am guarded. I'm very careful about that. Because a lot, and if you've been in them, a lot of what you see in women's Bible studies is just nonsense and it's foolishness. It is. Most of it is just talk time. Most of it gossip about their husbands. Complaining, finding, hey, I suffer. Yeah, we suffer. Let's talk about those. Most of it is that I'm not saying all of it. So I'm not saying all of it, but most of it is. But when there's godly fellowship in the Lord, man, I'll support that all day long. So, yes, I'm very sensitive and guarded about that, because I think that aspect of it is wrong. I think it's because husbands don't lead well. So I won't be in favor of that. So if you think now he's just against women, I'm not against women. It's because I love our women. That's why I'm so sensitive about it. We got to do things God's way if we want God's hand in this. And if his hands not in it, let's go home and go to bed because I'm so tired I can't see straight. I want his glory. in this church and in these families. And in order to have that, we have to follow Scripture. You don't get a draw another way, even if it works. That's pragmatism. We're not pragmatists. We need to be biblical theologians and understand what this says and then obey it by His grace. So know this as we end. Marriage is a great blessing and responsibility. My prayer is that we all examine ourselves today to see what we have given a higher priority to than fulfilling our role in our marriage. And may the manifestation, the purpose of marriage of the gospel, the manifestation propel every one of us to fulfill our personal roles and continually grow in the understanding and our responsibility in our marriages. So I've asked you to do a couple of things, I'm asking you to do two more this week if you're married. I would like husbands and wives to commit to sit down and ask this question. In what way? Am I not fulfilling my call from your perspective, help me to see because I can't see everything and ask it both ways and be humble enough to receive. In what way, wife, am I not loving you as Christ love the church, being a servant leader and leading this home? and leading you spiritually and then listen and then what make changes to make it happen. And then wives, husbands, in what way am I not showing the submission that the Bible has called me to and then listen. And then realize this, you're a team, this isn't against each other, you're one in Christ. Pray for each other, encourage each other, strengthen each other, recognize we're imperfect, be gracious with one another and help each other out. But I'm asking you to do that this week, to sit down and go through that and make changes that will bring about fruit for the glory of God. I've just pointed you in a direction now. I hope you give the rest of your life studying the gospel and studying the role of husbands and wives that God might be glorified in our marriages and in this church. Let's pray. God, I need help. I confess openly, publicly. Who is sufficient for these things, God? It can be overwhelming, but I do believe you will grace us with what is necessary to fulfill our call as husbands and wives and children of God and parents and members of a fellowship and ministers of the gospel of Jesus. Your glory is at stake. And so would you search in my own heart and life and remove the good that I might walk in the perfect will of you. And in our church and in our people, God, search and show us. Use each other speaking into each other's lives, God. Use your Word by your Spirit and sanctify us and show us frivolous and worldly things we are given to that keep us from your glory. And draw us by the beauty of Christ, that we are not giving up anything, that we gain all in obedience to Him. Help us to be not only hearers, but meditators and doers to understand what these things mean, to think through the practical implications and to then prioritize our lives around these things. When we get discouraged and it seems so overwhelming, give us faith to believe you will equip us for this path. We love you, we praise you, we thank you. Our hope is in Jesus. We want to live lives worthy of that. In his name we pray and sing. Amen.